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Same Sex in the City (So Your Prince Charming Is Really a Cinderella)
Same Sex in the City is a one-of-a-kind, sassy guide for gay women (and any woman who has ever looked twice at another woman) by gay women.
The journey from sexual curiosity to finally coming out can be confusing without proper guidance and empowering role models. In Same Sex in the City , Lauren Levin and Lauren Blitzer provide women—gay, straight, and bi-curious alike—with firsthand insight into the advantages and challenges of being a lesbian. In prose that is at once honest and uplifting, the Laurens relate their own experiences and those of the women they interview, as well as offer serious advice, titillating anecdotes, and a positive attitude for girls who know they're gay—and for those who are wondering about their sexuality but are not yet sure whether their Prince Charming is really a Cinderella.
Part confessional, part informational, Same Sex in the City covers the gamut of lesbian life—from dating to heartbreak, and from hooking up with straight chicks to raising a family. It's the book that millions of women have been searching for—a relationship guide that will help every woman come to terms with and celebrate her sexuality, whatever it may be.
The journey from sexual curiosity to finally coming out can be confusing without proper guidance and empowering role models. In Same Sex in the City , Lauren Levin and Lauren Blitzer provide women—gay, straight, and bi-curious alike—with firsthand insight into the advantages and challenges of being a lesbian. In prose that is at once honest and uplifting, the Laurens relate their own experiences and those of the women they interview, as well as offer serious advice, titillating anecdotes, and a positive attitude for girls who know they're gay—and for those who are wondering about their sexuality but are not yet sure whether their Prince Charming is really a Cinderella.
Part confessional, part informational, Same Sex in the City covers the gamut of lesbian life—from dating to heartbreak, and from hooking up with straight chicks to raising a family. It's the book that millions of women have been searching for—a relationship guide that will help every woman come to terms with and celebrate her sexuality, whatever it may be.
250 pages, Paperback
First published June 15, 2006
40 people are currently reading
353 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 41 reviews
May 26, 2008
worst. book. ever.
so awful, in fact, that i read it in an afternoon and returned it to the bookstore the next morning because i couldn't put it on my bookshelf. as i no longer have the book, i'm unable to quote directly, although certain passages are seared into my memory.
the gist of the book is this: we are really cute and femme, we were popular in high school, and men hit on us. being a lesbian is hawt, not to mention trendy. we're not like other lesbians who don't wear makeup and have bad fashion sense, and you don't have to be either. it's gonna be a little awkward at first, but we're here to talk you through it. if you're not yet experienced with the ladies, it's best to start when you're away from home on vacation (we both did), preferably in a booze-infused environment. if you see a woman you'd like to make out with, but are too embarrassed to make the first move, have one of your guy friends dare the two of you to do it. this is a hot idea for at least two reasons: #1 people think it's sexy and will want to watch, #2 if you decide later that it wasn't a great decision you can blame it on being drunk or use the what-happens-in-acapulco-stays-in-acapulco excuse.
the authors (the laurens) claim this is a book about loving women, however the subtext is as anti-woman as any issue of maxim/blender/fhm/stuff, presented in a faux-feminist queer friendly package.
so awful, in fact, that i read it in an afternoon and returned it to the bookstore the next morning because i couldn't put it on my bookshelf. as i no longer have the book, i'm unable to quote directly, although certain passages are seared into my memory.
the gist of the book is this: we are really cute and femme, we were popular in high school, and men hit on us. being a lesbian is hawt, not to mention trendy. we're not like other lesbians who don't wear makeup and have bad fashion sense, and you don't have to be either. it's gonna be a little awkward at first, but we're here to talk you through it. if you're not yet experienced with the ladies, it's best to start when you're away from home on vacation (we both did), preferably in a booze-infused environment. if you see a woman you'd like to make out with, but are too embarrassed to make the first move, have one of your guy friends dare the two of you to do it. this is a hot idea for at least two reasons: #1 people think it's sexy and will want to watch, #2 if you decide later that it wasn't a great decision you can blame it on being drunk or use the what-happens-in-acapulco-stays-in-acapulco excuse.
the authors (the laurens) claim this is a book about loving women, however the subtext is as anti-woman as any issue of maxim/blender/fhm/stuff, presented in a faux-feminist queer friendly package.
February 11, 2008
I realy wanted to like this book, but oh, how it grated on my nerves.
I deplore the haughty sniff of superiority toward butch women. The authors -- the two Laurens -- appear to be preoccupied with their man-magnet looks and ultra-cool attitudes. (The bars! The NYC fashion!)They talk about "rocking mini skirts," Prada shoes and trendy haircuts. You're fashionable! You can pass for straight! How nice for you. This reader adores butch women, and the trails they've blazed politically, in literature and in culture.
The structure is a mess. The so-called guide for new lesbians heading up each chapter is as shallow as its authors. For a book that supposes to be told from so many view points, all the voices sound the same. And the story by the lesbian who spent a year in a prolonged menage-a-trois (including a perfectly proportioned man, no less)reads like a PG-13 version of the kind of overworked fantasy you find in Penthouse magazine.
If you want to learn anything about gay culture, coming out or the ongoing campaign for equal rights for GLBT people, check out classics of queer literature. If you're looking for a slightly creepy, softcore girls-gone-wild read that seems like it was written for anxious adolescent males, well, this book is for you.
I deplore the haughty sniff of superiority toward butch women. The authors -- the two Laurens -- appear to be preoccupied with their man-magnet looks and ultra-cool attitudes. (The bars! The NYC fashion!)They talk about "rocking mini skirts," Prada shoes and trendy haircuts. You're fashionable! You can pass for straight! How nice for you. This reader adores butch women, and the trails they've blazed politically, in literature and in culture.
The structure is a mess. The so-called guide for new lesbians heading up each chapter is as shallow as its authors. For a book that supposes to be told from so many view points, all the voices sound the same. And the story by the lesbian who spent a year in a prolonged menage-a-trois (including a perfectly proportioned man, no less)reads like a PG-13 version of the kind of overworked fantasy you find in Penthouse magazine.
If you want to learn anything about gay culture, coming out or the ongoing campaign for equal rights for GLBT people, check out classics of queer literature. If you're looking for a slightly creepy, softcore girls-gone-wild read that seems like it was written for anxious adolescent males, well, this book is for you.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 3, 2017
This book wasn't what I was expecting it to be. I saw it in a bookstore, and the title caught my eye. It was definitely an impulse purchase.
The only two things I have in common with most of the women in this book are that I am a woman attracted to women, and I am a Jewish-American lesbian. Other than that, there are no commonalities at all. I knew I was in trouble when they started rattling off designer brands (of shoes? clothes? I have no idea).
Basically, this book is all about upper class uber-femmes. It's obvious that the two authors have only a limited experience with lesbians; nearly all of the stories feature Jewish-American women who live in New York City. The one South American woman whose story is featured here admits that she grew up in an exceptionally wealthy neighborhood. Yeah, I can't relate to that at all.
I also disliked the not-so-subtle digs at those who identify as "butch." I don't like labels, and I don't fall handily on the femme-butch spectrum. I love football, ball caps, and flannel shirts (hey, they're warm and comfy!). But I also like doing my hair, wearing heels (although not $1000 pairs), and putting on makeup. But, with the exception of my first girlfriend, I am attracted to butches, and I felt like my attraction to them was being denigrated.
This book doesn't offer much for advice, either. Each chapter has a page or two of "advice," which is shallow at best, and then is followed by groupings of stories that are supposed to illustrate...something. Let's put it this way: one of the longest chapters in the book is titled "Hooking Up With Straight Girls."
I think that says it all.
The only two things I have in common with most of the women in this book are that I am a woman attracted to women, and I am a Jewish-American lesbian. Other than that, there are no commonalities at all. I knew I was in trouble when they started rattling off designer brands (of shoes? clothes? I have no idea).
Basically, this book is all about upper class uber-femmes. It's obvious that the two authors have only a limited experience with lesbians; nearly all of the stories feature Jewish-American women who live in New York City. The one South American woman whose story is featured here admits that she grew up in an exceptionally wealthy neighborhood. Yeah, I can't relate to that at all.
I also disliked the not-so-subtle digs at those who identify as "butch." I don't like labels, and I don't fall handily on the femme-butch spectrum. I love football, ball caps, and flannel shirts (hey, they're warm and comfy!). But I also like doing my hair, wearing heels (although not $1000 pairs), and putting on makeup. But, with the exception of my first girlfriend, I am attracted to butches, and I felt like my attraction to them was being denigrated.
This book doesn't offer much for advice, either. Each chapter has a page or two of "advice," which is shallow at best, and then is followed by groupings of stories that are supposed to illustrate...something. Let's put it this way: one of the longest chapters in the book is titled "Hooking Up With Straight Girls."
I think that says it all.
Read
June 2, 2009While I would trade this book for a pretty Lawrence girl in a second, lack of the latter has made the personal accounts in this book incredibly helpful while I am figuring out something so important to me and my identity.
February 6, 2008
A nice book, extremely well-intentioned, with a very slight daffy undercurrent. Many of the girls writing in the book are self-admitted JAPs/WASPs with a lot of disposable money and a penchant for shopping, alcohol, and gettin' pretty. The absurd side of the book is when they start talking about the family cruise they came out on, the heart-to-heart they had with a parent on an exotic beach, or how they "popped a Valium to calm down before approaching a hottie."
All this noted, there's a real strength to the idea of a book written by gay women who do not outwardly appear to be gay women - something I definitely relate to, despite not being of the ultra-femme, Jimmy Choos-wearing set. I enjoyed reading the personal recollections of girls who had to work that bit harder to be respected by their friends and family (who thought they were going through a phase) and the culture they entered (who thought they were experimenting). Not every story is dropping in wisdom, but there's a lot of honesty here - even with the occasional shallow aside about perfume and cute little skirts.
Definitely a book to enjoy if not outright treasure, and a nice one to lend to friends who are just coming out - but may not be interested in leaping headfirst into the cropped cut and plaid flannel stereotype.
All this noted, there's a real strength to the idea of a book written by gay women who do not outwardly appear to be gay women - something I definitely relate to, despite not being of the ultra-femme, Jimmy Choos-wearing set. I enjoyed reading the personal recollections of girls who had to work that bit harder to be respected by their friends and family (who thought they were going through a phase) and the culture they entered (who thought they were experimenting). Not every story is dropping in wisdom, but there's a lot of honesty here - even with the occasional shallow aside about perfume and cute little skirts.
Definitely a book to enjoy if not outright treasure, and a nice one to lend to friends who are just coming out - but may not be interested in leaping headfirst into the cropped cut and plaid flannel stereotype.
March 21, 2013
I really had a good time reading this one. Not that I need any advice in this field, but it’s a good guide for whoever is dipping their feet in these waters for the first time, so to speak. Both authors and some other gals tell their stories and talk about their trials and tribulations regarding issues such as coming to terms with their own sexuality, dating, coming out of the closet, friendship, etc. The book brought back some old memories about my own trials and tribulations, which in a way was kind of healing. It’s definitely an entertaining and illustrative read if you are planning to head down this road. Like they say, if your Prince Charming is a Cinderella after all, don’t fret much about it, just bend down and make sure the glass slipper fits! And of course, enjoy the ride!
January 9, 2023
DNF, this was recommended as empowering for femme lesbians… lol no, maybe if you’re ultra-wealthy. While I can excuse some of the outdated language, in general it was condescending, uppity and judgemental. Also had this weird vibe that being a lesbian is all about partying. I got through about 30 pages before I had to put it down. See other reviews for details.
Read
July 10, 2019I don't remember if I liked it.
October 28, 2021
Really interesting and helpful for young gay women still coming to terms with and accepting who they are.
October 9, 2020
don't expect ivy-league educated, wealthy, and popular blonde fron NYC to understand and write the true struggle in most LGBTQ's life. Name dropping designer brands are what they are more good at.
价值观不敢苟同，俩纽约金发磕药富家妞bimbo对自身性向的探索之旅，从自我性向觉醒到第一次到出柜经历（比如24页，你女神的伴侣长得不美就不配拥有爱情了？！你就可以想着撬墙角了？！还有51页，建议女同和女性朋友喝醉后尝试打一炮来探索自己是不是真女同？！这都是些什么昏招。）
价值观不敢苟同，俩纽约金发磕药富家妞bimbo对自身性向的探索之旅，从自我性向觉醒到第一次到出柜经历（比如24页，你女神的伴侣长得不美就不配拥有爱情了？！你就可以想着撬墙角了？！还有51页，建议女同和女性朋友喝醉后尝试打一炮来探索自己是不是真女同？！这都是些什么昏招。）
August 15, 2016
When I was a senior in high school, I slipped this into the pile of books my dad was going to buy me at Barnes and Noble. It was our tradition - he would take me on a Friday night, I would buy four books and read as much as I could over the weekend. This was my first attempt to buy something so obviously queer-related - and he shrugged and paid for it like it was nothing. I was still only halfway out of the closet, but I knew then that my family was there for me & supported me after four years of struggling with my sexuality. (To be clear - the actual book is full of stereotypes & a level of casual wealth I'll probably never know, but it'll always have a place on my bookshelf because of that moment with my dad).
June 24, 2025
A woman I was dating borrowed this book out to me. As a femme lesbian, I can appreciate the focus on femme-related themes because I often feel that gets poo-poo'd upon by the greater LGBT+ community.
However, I found most of the stories were written by upper-class women and it was impossible to relate to stories of hooking up on fancy cruises and in downtown NYC clubs, or being driven to school in limousines.
I can see the book was written in 2006 and it feels very... dated. Some outdated terms are used. Despite containing stories from many different women, a lot of them sound the same - not much diversity.
It would be interesting to see an updated version of this book written for a 2021 audience.
However, I found most of the stories were written by upper-class women and it was impossible to relate to stories of hooking up on fancy cruises and in downtown NYC clubs, or being driven to school in limousines.
I can see the book was written in 2006 and it feels very... dated. Some outdated terms are used. Despite containing stories from many different women, a lot of them sound the same - not much diversity.
It would be interesting to see an updated version of this book written for a 2021 audience.
June 24, 2012
Best book ever, I just couldn't get enough of it. I used to hate reading before I read this book; I was so hooked onto it I stayed up until 6am to read on. I love how it's not written too formal and the stories included are quite fascinating. I expected a follow up or a part two to the book.. I was devastated when I came to the end of it. I highly recommend taking a look at it, especially if you're in your early/late teens! (:
March 9, 2013
I personally loved this book. It may not be the most well written book I've ever read, but it is incredibly insightful. I loved how it brought together opinions and advice from a a huge group of lesbians, ranging from young to old, butch to femme. It offers something for every type of lesbian. The stories are very touching and thought provoking. This book will forever remain in my mind as one of my favorites.
January 8, 2013
I doubt that many have read a book so honest and truthful. Lauren Levin and Lauren Blitzer are not afraid to share their happiness, heartbreaks, and adventures of coming into their own sexuality. The honesty of this book really made me feel that I was not alone. I love they way that they broke the book down by different subjects and experiences. This is one of my favorite books that I own. I hope these girls will write again in the future!
April 26, 2013
Really not relevant to anyone unless you are an ultra lipstick-lesbian only attracted to other ultra-lipstick lesbians. I felt a prejudice towards anyone who is not into Coach bags and Manolo Blahniks. Almost every story was written by middle to upper-class Jewish lesbians so many wouldn't relate. Also only good for those who are in the contemplative or just coming-out stage. I was hoping for something better when I scored this at a used book sale. Bummer.
May 6, 2013
This book is really basic, I wouldn't say I learned anything from reading it. I did read it from cover to cover and somehow was hoping at each page that I would get to learn something new at the next one but alas... Then again, I have been around the lesbian/gay community for years and have been exposed to a lot of things, obviously this book is more meant to the person who didn't have this chance.
July 23, 2013
This book was exactly what I was looking for. Other reviewers had negative attitudes towards the strongly femme road that this book takes - but that's exactly why I loved it. This book is written for a very specific type of lesbian, and that's totally me. If it's not you, then you probably won't enjoy this book. If you are a fashionable, girly-girl, come-from-a-traditional-family-background, type of lesbian then this book is for you.
September 20, 2013
I would really recommend this book to all lesbians-to-be and confused lesbians or simply lesbians who would like an advice or two. It is a real vade-mecum of how, when and why. Reading it helps one feels less lonely, less stupid and more part of a world so rarely described with realistic humour in pure Yiddish style. Well done Girls!!
September 18, 2007
Was a truly AWESOME book. It was great to hear not only the two authors accounts on the various topics/dealings throughout the book, but also all of the stories from other women. Took long enough for a book like this to come out!!!!!
February 28, 2010
Love this book. It helped me get through a really tough time of trying to find myself and get me through finding someone who would understand me and love me for who I was. It was the best thing I could have asked for.
April 20, 2011
I was pleased to find this book, but didn't examine the back cover closely. This is a femme manifesto, celebrating high heels and makeup, and all the trappings of what the authors consider a liberated life. I encourage them to live their "liberated" life where I don't have to read about it.
September 1, 2016
It has wonderful advice, but the advice is over run with multiple stories from supposed women who give you stories to go with the little one paragraph advice. Still an ok book though, but it could have been so much more. This book is mostly for teens/early twenties.
July 28, 2013
I adore this book because its sooo helpful for anyone questioning their same sex attractions and it's helped me a lot since I don't have many gay friends and I'd recommend this book to everyone who's LGBTQ :)
July 28, 2007
this was the perfect book to read in san francisco!
February 18, 2008
Ive also had this book for a while. Im mid book and enjoy it. It's a well written book and a good read for those considering/ or may have a sexual orientation than that of "Super straight".
April 20, 2008
Kind of dumb.
November 1, 2008
one of the best books I read over the summer. super enjoyable with some pretty great stories and advice.
December 31, 2008
This was a pretty good book. It is a book of essays about the lesbian experience and the things that can go along with it.
August 9, 2009
Love it,Really helped me alot too!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 41 reviews