Personal Notes: How to Write from the Heart for Any Occasion

by Sandra Lamb

Do you dread writing notes to say “Thank you,” “I’m sorry,” or “Congratulations”?

When’s the last time you sent a handwritten letter to a faraway friend, just to catch up?

What should you write to a grieving friend or colleague? How do you let friends know you’re getting a divorce?

As our lives get busier and faster-paced, the old-fashioned art of personal correspondence is becoming sadly lost. In this upbeat, wise, and witty guide, journalist and lifestyle expert Sandra Lamb offers a wealth of advice, inspiration, and examples for anyone who wants to add flair, voice, and plain old fun to their letters and notes—as well as anyone who wants to know the etiquette of when and what to write. Using colorful examples and practical advice, the book covers thank yous, congratulations, engagements and weddings, birthdays and anniversaries, births and adoptions, appreciation, love notes, illness and accidents, divorce, condolence, regrets, apologies, and forgiveness.

This delightful, indispensable guide helps us rediscover the joy of connecting with others through the simple act of putting pen to paper.

Genres: Nonfiction, Writing, How To, Reference

224 pages, Hardcover

First published May 14, 2003

About the author

I began my career as a technical writer, and quickly learned that the engineers I worked with, although brilliant, were extremely challenged in their ability to communicate effectively in writing. My early experiences led me to write How to Write It, Personal Notes, Write the Right Words, 3000 Power Words and Phrases for Effective Performance Reviews, and most recently, Writing Well for Business Success.

Reviews

[Alien · Rating 5 out of 5]

While the beginning section of this book (why write notes, general etiquette, supplies, etc) was very brief, the individual sections for each type of note were incredibly in depth and covered a wide variety of reasons and ways to write each type including samples (for thank you notes alone she discusses different ways to say thanks depending on the type of gift, the situation it was given in, and even how to say thanks when you hated it) i found this wide variety yet flexibility in advice incredibly helpful. The advice was just as in depth if not more so for subjects such as birthday cards and notes, with considerations from closeness to the person to their interests or how the year has been to how they feel about getting older with very little snootyness toward using store bought cards (as long as you write a heartfelt note inside, of course)

Overall i was very impressed by the sheer variety of type of notes for almost any occasion or situation

[J · Rating 2 out of 5]

What I Liked:
The general sentiment behind the book was fabulous. I loved the encouragement to take up pen and paper and handwrite personal notes and letters.

From page 3: What's so often missing from our lives today is the richness of shared humanity, those moments when we feel really connected to other human beings. The act of writing personal notes not only feeds our own soul, but also lets us share ourselves with others - offering hope, affirming life, connecting.

From page 4: Instant communications allow us to function too close to the surface, writing on the run from only that top, thin layer of our thoughts; responding without going deeper, opening our inner well, or drawing out that flow of spirit and words that will really connect us to another.

What I Didn't Like:
The actual advice given was sometimes random and incorrect.

For example, from the chart on pages 9-14:
- Send thank you notes from wedding showers within 1 week.
- Send thank you notes from baby showers within 1 week.
- Send thank you notes for wedding gifts within 3 months.
- Send thank you notes for birth/adoption gifts within 4 weeks.
- Send thank you notes for birthday gifts within 3 days.
- Send thank you notes for holiday gifts within 2-3 days.
- Send thank you notes for hostess gifts within 2-3 days.
- Send thank you notes for condolences within 6 weeks.
All of these time limits seem arbitrary and incorrect. I was taught that thank you notes are sent immediately upon receiving a gift. Ideally within a day. If you are incapacitated (due to sickness, new baby, ect) or out of town (honeymoon), you send the notes as soon as possible.

On page 11, she says that etiquette requires you to state a reason when declining an invitation. In fact, the opposite it true.

The book was filled with samples of "good" notes, which often seemed a bit kooky. Read all together, they seemed over the top with sentimentality. And incomplete sentences.

This book was published in 2003 by an elderly author. Some of her comments and observations struck me as odd. For example, she says that emoticons are silly and annoying. She says you should not use them in emails, unless you are sure the recipient wants to receive them. She also says that you should NOT email, but instead handwrite a letter, when you will need/want a permanent record of something. [Both examples from pages 15 & 16.]

On page 52, she warns against sending birthday cards to women, unless you know for sure that they want to acknowledge their birthday. Ughhh! Birthday cards are my thing! I'd never send a card to someone I know doesn't want to be reminded of their birthday. But I also don't think I have to check ahead of time with each person, before sending out a card.

Also, this book was oddly written with the blatant assumption that all the readers will be female.

[Lafcadio · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not quite what I was looking for, but I suppose it'll do.