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Easier Ways To Say I Love You
Lucy Fry’s story opens with the heady and impassioned affair she embarked on during her wife’s pregnancy. It is a relationship that appears to be unstoppable, perhaps even addictive, despite guilt and self-questioning. With intense and unflinching honesty, she takes her readers on a compelling journey from childhood trauma to addiction then sobriety, infidelity to polyamory and, perhaps most intensely of all, from her fear of being a parent to her exquisite joy at having a son. L and B’s love for their new baby, ‘The Boy’, changes the dynamic once again. They fumble through early parenthood, in a way that many will recognise, while at the same time trying to fathom and fashion a unique journey of their own.
224 pages, Paperback
Published February 6, 2020
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews
October 1, 2020
I suppose it takes a certain amount of bravery to commit this book to paper, warts and all. Or maybe it's just an extension of the narcissism and navel gazing of the author that comes through loud and clear.
This is not a healthy reflection of polyamory. There is painfully little discussion, proper healthy discussion of expectations and boundaries, between any of them.
The narrative is a car crash. I would love to hear what A thinks about all this. As we descend into madness the content becomes fragmented to the point where the last chapter is almost unreadable with the language falling into stream of thought.
This is not a healthy reflection of polyamory. There is painfully little discussion, proper healthy discussion of expectations and boundaries, between any of them.
The narrative is a car crash. I would love to hear what A thinks about all this. As we descend into madness the content becomes fragmented to the point where the last chapter is almost unreadable with the language falling into stream of thought.
March 5, 2020
Really enjoyed reading this, its very much a personal story and at times a therapy journey of one woman's exploration of the links between her addiction and her relationship. It is also an open honest account of having a relationship with two people and how confusing and wonderful and complex that is. I enjoyed the thoughts about her relationship more as this is still quite new, there aren't that many books by people actually living polyamorous lives and in particular books by and about queer women being polyamorous.
April 26, 2020
This book was extremely honest and real about the author's life and relationships. I'd give a brief heads up to some heavy topics covered within this, including depression, eating disorders, addiction, alcoholism, miscarriage, and probably more I've missed.
The writing style itself is not always my cup of tea so I did need time to settle into it somewhat, but I can see how many people will love the style.
The writing style itself is not always my cup of tea so I did need time to settle into it somewhat, but I can see how many people will love the style.
August 12, 2024
4.5 rounded down~
this book was so pretty. and intense and poetic and healing and intimate and fascinating and and and
this book was so pretty. and intense and poetic and healing and intimate and fascinating and and and
November 2, 2025
A vast majority of this book is decidedly sad and hopeless but the rare moments of joy suck you in and mean you hang on until the end to find out if any of the characters end up happy 🥲
A truly unlikeable narrator which I guess is the actual author? To be honest I haven't read the synopsis but wow it's hard to read someone being so selfish and self doubting but still having such sympathy for them.
Overall I'd probably say a 3.5 but going with 4!
A truly unlikeable narrator which I guess is the actual author? To be honest I haven't read the synopsis but wow it's hard to read someone being so selfish and self doubting but still having such sympathy for them.
Overall I'd probably say a 3.5 but going with 4!
May 8, 2021
I was interested in this book going in: the set up sounded a bit like The Argonauts, which I really enjoyed. Unfortunately, being a memoir of a queer family having a baby was where the similarities ended.
It's hard to know where to start. Fry tells the story of her marriage evolving to polyamory at the time she and her wife have a son. This starts as the narrator L having an affair which turns into a thruple. How great that L's abysmal behaviour towards her pregnant wife works out ok in the end! There's little exploration of how polyamory works (beyond a scheduling chart called Harvey Wall Planner - that pun being about the only thing I liked about this book), so I feel that the points it might get for representation of unconventional relationship might get lost in the post. I know a little about polyamory from books and friends and there seems to be a lack of honesty and emotional effort here that doesn't reflect my understanding of doing polyamory well.
But it's not for me to judge her life, what about the writing? The writing drove me absolutely up the wall. The author meditates at length on the fact that she's a writer, which mainly seems to involve collecting obscure words and using them in ways that alienate the reader. I was on Kindle so could look up words I didn't know, which actually only served to infuriate me more. There was the "desquamation" of missing her wife. There was the ex-boyfriend described as "cervine". In my book, the mark of a good writer is not knowing more words than other people, but using words the reader does know in a way that speaks to them.
Many passages were worthy of Pseud's Corner:
"Nonetheless there will still be guilt. Increasing quantities of the stuff, in fact, that acts like unctuous oil on the surface of water.
And yet an oil slick is also blue. And blue, my favourite colour."
"Separation is the key to connection, I think. Or perhaps it is the keyhole."
We also get a detailed examination of L's childhood and speculation on how it caused the problems in her adult life. As with Are You My Mother? A Comic Drama, I felt the author owed me a fee for acting as her therapist. And don't get me started on her sharing of her dreams: doesn't every adult know that other people's dreams are fundamentally uninteresting? The entire book is incredibly self-absorbed and I'm not sure this author has earned that yet, like Bechdel has. Then again, lots of men have been lauded over the years for their stories of their affairs and excuses for being fairly rubbish in their relationships, so perhaps it's the turn of the women.
Finally, I just can't get over the bit where L spies on the love letter a fellow train traveller is writing, judges him on his language skills, then pinches the bits of torn up letter he leaves behind and shares them in her book. All I can hope is that the addressee of that unsent love letter never reads this book, or of course that the entire event was a fabrication by the author.
I'm giving this 2 stars rather than one because there were a few aspects I thought were explored well and bravely: the familial sharing of disordered eating for one. However, if it hadn't been a book club choice I certainly wouldn't have finished it.
It's hard to know where to start. Fry tells the story of her marriage evolving to polyamory at the time she and her wife have a son. This starts as the narrator L having an affair which turns into a thruple. How great that L's abysmal behaviour towards her pregnant wife works out ok in the end! There's little exploration of how polyamory works (beyond a scheduling chart called Harvey Wall Planner - that pun being about the only thing I liked about this book), so I feel that the points it might get for representation of unconventional relationship might get lost in the post. I know a little about polyamory from books and friends and there seems to be a lack of honesty and emotional effort here that doesn't reflect my understanding of doing polyamory well.
But it's not for me to judge her life, what about the writing? The writing drove me absolutely up the wall. The author meditates at length on the fact that she's a writer, which mainly seems to involve collecting obscure words and using them in ways that alienate the reader. I was on Kindle so could look up words I didn't know, which actually only served to infuriate me more. There was the "desquamation" of missing her wife. There was the ex-boyfriend described as "cervine". In my book, the mark of a good writer is not knowing more words than other people, but using words the reader does know in a way that speaks to them.
Many passages were worthy of Pseud's Corner:
"Nonetheless there will still be guilt. Increasing quantities of the stuff, in fact, that acts like unctuous oil on the surface of water.
And yet an oil slick is also blue. And blue, my favourite colour."
"Separation is the key to connection, I think. Or perhaps it is the keyhole."
We also get a detailed examination of L's childhood and speculation on how it caused the problems in her adult life. As with Are You My Mother? A Comic Drama, I felt the author owed me a fee for acting as her therapist. And don't get me started on her sharing of her dreams: doesn't every adult know that other people's dreams are fundamentally uninteresting? The entire book is incredibly self-absorbed and I'm not sure this author has earned that yet, like Bechdel has. Then again, lots of men have been lauded over the years for their stories of their affairs and excuses for being fairly rubbish in their relationships, so perhaps it's the turn of the women.
Finally, I just can't get over the bit where L spies on the love letter a fellow train traveller is writing, judges him on his language skills, then pinches the bits of torn up letter he leaves behind and shares them in her book. All I can hope is that the addressee of that unsent love letter never reads this book, or of course that the entire event was a fabrication by the author.
I'm giving this 2 stars rather than one because there were a few aspects I thought were explored well and bravely: the familial sharing of disordered eating for one. However, if it hadn't been a book club choice I certainly wouldn't have finished it.
December 24, 2025
To me, the first half came across pretentious and lacking in self awareness but worth it to get to the bit where her discussions about love find a new subject and come alive.
March 31, 2020
Beautifully written, very brave and honest. I really related to some of the issues that were discussed in the book (addiction, eating issues and attachment theory), as well as the central theme of relationships. I found this a compelling read.
February 18, 2020
Emotive, intelligent and powerfully honest tale of life and love and family. Highly recommended!
March 24, 2020
Honestly one of the most emotionally challenging books I’ve read in a long time. Beautifully written. Very raw.
February 14, 2023
My rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (4/5)
READ IF YOU LIKE:
✍🏼 Memoirs written w unflinching honesty
🏳️🌈 Learning more about LGBTQ+ community/polyamorous relationships
💭 Thought provoking books
✏️ Unique writing style
🔍 Books that change your perspective
𝘈 𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘪𝘳 𝘰𝘯 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦, 𝘭𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵: 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘯'𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘯 𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘱𝘰𝘭𝘺𝘢𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱.
☁️ THOUGHTS:
I’ve been desperate to read this ever since I saw @princesschapters review and I’m so glad I finally got round to it. The depth and raw honesty of Fry’s writing took me by surprise and the pages were as mesmerising as the front cover.
“𝙃𝙤𝙬 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙖 𝙧𝙚𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙝 𝙞𝙣 𝙞𝙩𝙨 𝙙𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚𝙨 𝙨𝙤 𝙢𝙪𝙘𝙝 𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙮𝙚𝙩 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝙞𝙣 𝙞𝙩𝙨 𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙜?”
Eye opening, brave and unapologetic, this was an important, almost chaotic collection of emotions, thoughts and self reflection. The relatable, casual writing style made it feel like a therapy session over a cup of tea, and I felt all of Fry’s emotions almost as if they were my own.
‘𝙄𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙡𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙖 𝙢𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙤𝙛 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙖𝙩 𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙨𝙩 𝙨𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚 (𝙞𝙣 𝙅𝙖𝙥𝙖𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙚) 𝙤𝙛 𝙠𝙤𝙞 𝙣𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙠𝙖𝙣: 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙚𝙣𝙨𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙞𝙣 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙪𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙦𝙪𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙞𝙩𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚.’
Fry leaves nothing out in the process of expressing her journey of love and difficulties, and covers everything from childhood trauma, addiction and infidelity, to mental health, polyamory and parenting struggles. The exploration of relationship dynamics as well as attachment theory was really interesting to read about, and experiencing Fry’s joy over falling in love with her first child was beautiful. I’d highly recommend reading this important, authentic memoir.
“𝘼𝙣𝙙, 𝙞𝙛 𝙄 𝙝𝙖𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙩𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙣 𝙙𝙖𝙧𝙠 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙡𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩, 𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙣, 𝙗𝙚𝙩𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙪𝙧𝙜𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙮 𝙤𝙛 𝙙𝙚𝙨𝙞𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙫𝙞𝙩𝙮 𝙤𝙛 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚, 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙝 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙄 𝙥𝙞𝙘𝙠? 𝙌𝙪𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙝𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙡𝙮, 𝙄’𝙙 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙖𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧, 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙢𝙚𝙧, 𝙙𝙤 𝙄 𝙚𝙭𝙞𝙨𝙩?”
READ IF YOU LIKE:
✍🏼 Memoirs written w unflinching honesty
🏳️🌈 Learning more about LGBTQ+ community/polyamorous relationships
💭 Thought provoking books
✏️ Unique writing style
🔍 Books that change your perspective
𝘈 𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘪𝘳 𝘰𝘯 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦, 𝘭𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵: 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘯'𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘯 𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘱𝘰𝘭𝘺𝘢𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱.
☁️ THOUGHTS:
I’ve been desperate to read this ever since I saw @princesschapters review and I’m so glad I finally got round to it. The depth and raw honesty of Fry’s writing took me by surprise and the pages were as mesmerising as the front cover.
“𝙃𝙤𝙬 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙖 𝙧𝙚𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙝 𝙞𝙣 𝙞𝙩𝙨 𝙙𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚𝙨 𝙨𝙤 𝙢𝙪𝙘𝙝 𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙮𝙚𝙩 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝙞𝙣 𝙞𝙩𝙨 𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙜?”
Eye opening, brave and unapologetic, this was an important, almost chaotic collection of emotions, thoughts and self reflection. The relatable, casual writing style made it feel like a therapy session over a cup of tea, and I felt all of Fry’s emotions almost as if they were my own.
‘𝙄𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙡𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙖 𝙢𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙤𝙛 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙖𝙩 𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙨𝙩 𝙨𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚 (𝙞𝙣 𝙅𝙖𝙥𝙖𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙚) 𝙤𝙛 𝙠𝙤𝙞 𝙣𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙠𝙖𝙣: 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙚𝙣𝙨𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙞𝙣 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙪𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙦𝙪𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙞𝙩𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚.’
Fry leaves nothing out in the process of expressing her journey of love and difficulties, and covers everything from childhood trauma, addiction and infidelity, to mental health, polyamory and parenting struggles. The exploration of relationship dynamics as well as attachment theory was really interesting to read about, and experiencing Fry’s joy over falling in love with her first child was beautiful. I’d highly recommend reading this important, authentic memoir.
“𝘼𝙣𝙙, 𝙞𝙛 𝙄 𝙝𝙖𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙩𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙣 𝙙𝙖𝙧𝙠 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙡𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩, 𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙣, 𝙗𝙚𝙩𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙪𝙧𝙜𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙮 𝙤𝙛 𝙙𝙚𝙨𝙞𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙫𝙞𝙩𝙮 𝙤𝙛 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚, 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙝 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙄 𝙥𝙞𝙘𝙠? 𝙌𝙪𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙝𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙡𝙮, 𝙄’𝙙 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙖𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧, 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙢𝙚𝙧, 𝙙𝙤 𝙄 𝙚𝙭𝙞𝙨𝙩?”
March 23, 2023
The book begins with L meeting and sleeping with A and being married to and expecting a baby with B. This is the main thread of the book and the reader is taken through different stages of these relationships: L telling B about A, B telling L about their own other relationships, their baby being born, A sleeping with B, and eventually, A breaking things off with L. Along the way, L tells us about their upbringing and relationships with their family, and lets us into their head with regards to depression, anxiety, and fears over motherhood.
A huge range of feelings are detailed - lust, love, fear, anxiety, depression, jealousy - and all are conveyed so eloquently. Even though I've read, say, romances before, and heard descriptions of love or lust, this book described emotions in such an original way.
The writing style is so poetic, the plot isn't rigid. This book made me understand why the word "fluid" can be used to describe relationships. The polyamorous relationship isn't described in a clunky or self-conscious way. Social norms aren't tip toed around or addressed with caveats, the relationship and feelings are just there.
From reading the Acknowledgements and looking at the author's Instagram account, they say they've used this book to organise their thoughts about everything that happened and you can really tell. They've put together such a clear narrative of what happened and how they felt at those different points.
A huge range of feelings are detailed - lust, love, fear, anxiety, depression, jealousy - and all are conveyed so eloquently. Even though I've read, say, romances before, and heard descriptions of love or lust, this book described emotions in such an original way.
The writing style is so poetic, the plot isn't rigid. This book made me understand why the word "fluid" can be used to describe relationships. The polyamorous relationship isn't described in a clunky or self-conscious way. Social norms aren't tip toed around or addressed with caveats, the relationship and feelings are just there.
From reading the Acknowledgements and looking at the author's Instagram account, they say they've used this book to organise their thoughts about everything that happened and you can really tell. They've put together such a clear narrative of what happened and how they felt at those different points.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 15, 2022
This is an important book. It demands to be read.
A few quotes that felt very personal to me:
‘If only I had then understood the most crucial and universal truth about romantic attachment: that when we demand a kind of parental (unconditional, selfless) love from our partners, we sound the death knell on sex, if not the rest of it as well.’ (p.40)
‘Depression is also a physical injury. When I am in it I am less mobile and must go slower in every way. Small pressures become weighty and weighty pressures crush me. I am either doing or recuperating; the time for doing is squeezed and squeezed. I care less about my outward beauty and more about my inner construction. Whether I can keep my entire thing from breaking.’ (p.159)
‘Love (at least love as I feel it) isn’t measured in units or grades. It isn’t measured at all, in fact, but experienced. Love is alive — not just in surges but also in silliness. It is the blazing sun and turgid skies. It leads to drought and leads to rain, which clears the atmosphere for stars.
Stars = faraway, flickering lights, which love can also be, spotted for a few precious moments, moments whose quality is such that they make an indelible impression, changing the texture of one’s heart.’ (p.191)
A few quotes that felt very personal to me:
‘If only I had then understood the most crucial and universal truth about romantic attachment: that when we demand a kind of parental (unconditional, selfless) love from our partners, we sound the death knell on sex, if not the rest of it as well.’ (p.40)
‘Depression is also a physical injury. When I am in it I am less mobile and must go slower in every way. Small pressures become weighty and weighty pressures crush me. I am either doing or recuperating; the time for doing is squeezed and squeezed. I care less about my outward beauty and more about my inner construction. Whether I can keep my entire thing from breaking.’ (p.159)
‘Love (at least love as I feel it) isn’t measured in units or grades. It isn’t measured at all, in fact, but experienced. Love is alive — not just in surges but also in silliness. It is the blazing sun and turgid skies. It leads to drought and leads to rain, which clears the atmosphere for stars.
Stars = faraway, flickering lights, which love can also be, spotted for a few precious moments, moments whose quality is such that they make an indelible impression, changing the texture of one’s heart.’ (p.191)
May 18, 2022
Title: Easier Ways to Say I Love You
Author: Lucy Fry
Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5
Read if you like:
Memoir
Non-fiction
Polyamory relationships
LGBTQIA+
My Thoughts:
I love, love, love memoirs, I think we all have stories that need to be told and love it when I can learn all about different types of people! Lucy Fry’s story was no different! I picked this book on cover alone and am so glad I did. I liked how Lucy still seemed very raw when she was writing about her feelings during polyamory and how things in her life changed with having a baby. I thought it was interesting when she dove into her childhood traumas and talked about attachment theory. I would say that this book was a little hard to read at some point, not because of poor writing, but due to the heavy topics that the author was talking about.
Author: Lucy Fry
Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5
Read if you like:
Memoir
Non-fiction
Polyamory relationships
LGBTQIA+
My Thoughts:
I love, love, love memoirs, I think we all have stories that need to be told and love it when I can learn all about different types of people! Lucy Fry’s story was no different! I picked this book on cover alone and am so glad I did. I liked how Lucy still seemed very raw when she was writing about her feelings during polyamory and how things in her life changed with having a baby. I thought it was interesting when she dove into her childhood traumas and talked about attachment theory. I would say that this book was a little hard to read at some point, not because of poor writing, but due to the heavy topics that the author was talking about.
August 26, 2022
I really didn’t enjoy the writing style and found, on the whole, the narrative to be very self indulgent. To give Fry credit, she attempts to tackle some very difficult issues (i.e. eating disorders and miscarriage), however the complex and inaccessible language at times, accompanied with the erratic writing style, meant that these themes were lost.
I was looking forward to reading a memoir that delved into polyamorous relationships, however the egotistical nature with which Fry presents her experiences of polyamory makes for a difficult read. Polyamory is explored almost entirely from Fry’s perspective, with little consideration for the other two parties involved.
2 stars for Fry’s honesty and rawness. 3 lacking for the incessantly narcissistic read.
I was looking forward to reading a memoir that delved into polyamorous relationships, however the egotistical nature with which Fry presents her experiences of polyamory makes for a difficult read. Polyamory is explored almost entirely from Fry’s perspective, with little consideration for the other two parties involved.
2 stars for Fry’s honesty and rawness. 3 lacking for the incessantly narcissistic read.
August 31, 2020
Raw, honest and beautifully, yet painfully (for Fry that is) written. Fry's voice is one of the most honest I've head/read lately. Thought provoking in places, Lucy Fry philosophizes about life, the meaning of existence and of love. She writes as if the story will only be read by you and not 1000s of others. You feel an attachment to the author and become invested in their narrative, as if she were speaking directly to your face (at least that was my experience.) Memoirs are personal things, and to read this one feels like a privilege of sorts. Truly honest, engaging and diversely different; Fry's story will certainly stay with me for some time to come yet.
September 19, 2023
One of the most raw books I’ve ever read. I can’t imagine writing out the lowest of my lows and highest of my highs and putting it out for everyone to read.
But I’m glad lucy fry did because it was a truly captivating read. I really felt like I could feel how so much burden and self hatred had been lifted of Ls shoulders towards the end and how much she had grown from the start.
Only note I can say is that I did feel myself skimming over some parts but I guess that just comes with different writing styles and genres when you have a favourite that you usually stick to but I’m glad I picked this up!
But I’m glad lucy fry did because it was a truly captivating read. I really felt like I could feel how so much burden and self hatred had been lifted of Ls shoulders towards the end and how much she had grown from the start.
Only note I can say is that I did feel myself skimming over some parts but I guess that just comes with different writing styles and genres when you have a favourite that you usually stick to but I’m glad I picked this up!
February 26, 2024
This is a raw memoir with everything laid bare. It's one perspective on navigating polyamorous relationships and dealing with every emotion that comes with it. She's got a self-awareness that looks at every angle as she goes through these relationships, reminisces on childhood, grapples with depression, and works through addiction.
The novel is broken up into sections that can be a bit confusing to follow, with quick time jumps, but all-in-all, it was a brave novel to write. One that I can't imagine would be easy, but Lucy Fry has given us her perspective and experiences beautifully. Definitely an interesting read!
The novel is broken up into sections that can be a bit confusing to follow, with quick time jumps, but all-in-all, it was a brave novel to write. One that I can't imagine would be easy, but Lucy Fry has given us her perspective and experiences beautifully. Definitely an interesting read!
July 21, 2020
Lucy Fry dissects her journey through the complex tangles of a polyamorous relationship with unflinching emotional honesty, curiosity and a touching tenderness. Her great gift for articulacy and a seriously thrilling purity of expression, means that each painful low or moment of elation reveals a more and more astonishing amount of human being. There's so much human in this book!! It's a really fascinating subject and Lucy Fry's account is fierce, heartfelt and brimming with refreshing energy.
May 24, 2020
I commend the author for her honesty but this is one of the most self-indulgent, narcissistic and badly written books I have ever read.
There is no real heart or heat despite the endless drama, just clunky attempts at literary pretension or to shock.
My strongest feeling on reading this was one of deep sadness for the author’s wife.
There is no real heart or heat despite the endless drama, just clunky attempts at literary pretension or to shock.
My strongest feeling on reading this was one of deep sadness for the author’s wife.
July 20, 2021
Loved this book! A rare insight into a life of polyamory. It empowers female sexuality and is unapologetic about so. The way Lucy writes is very poetically, really descriptive and eye-catching details. Highly recommend but not for the sensitive reader!
March 2, 2020
Very self indulgent both in content and style of writing.
June 15, 2021
LOVE LOVE LOVED THIS. So beautifully written and engaging, loved the style as well and was so invested. Gorgeous amazing beautiful and the spicy scenes are well placed and not too much
July 1, 2022
made me feel seen
July 10, 2023
this is ass lmao.
boring self-indulgent piece of crap.
DNF sorry i can't torture myself more.
boring self-indulgent piece of crap.
DNF sorry i can't torture myself more.
April 11, 2024
Not necessarily a bad book just not a bit of me but powered through
March 2, 2025
tbh, this could have been so much better without the narrative of a woman having a child and it being the best thing that has ever happened to her.
May 4, 2025
Nothing but a nice and uplifting story when you’re not doing okay. You learn that life still goes on and you just have to get back on your feet. May this feeling of hope find me again.
May 14, 2025
a warning against polyamory and also against letting your baby cry it out.
May 1, 2023
Frank and raw, and very appropriately titled.
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