Home Fires Burning: Married to the Military-for Better or Worse

by Karen Houppert

As taps echoes across the cookie-cutter housing areas of upstate New York’s Fort Drum, the wives turn on the evening news, both hoping for and dreading word of their husbands overseas. It’s a ritual played out on military bases across the nation as the waiting wives of Karen Houppert’s extraordinary new book endure a long, lonely, and difficult year with their husbands far from home. Houppert, a prize winning journalist, spent a year among these women, joining them as they had babies, raised families, ran Cub Scout troops, coached soccer–and went to funerals.

The waiting wives include Lauren, twenty-six, whose Navy SEAL husband was killed in Afghanistan; Heidi, peace activist and Army wife whose life is a daily struggle with her conscience; Crystal, a nineteen-year-old raising two babies on a shoestring while her husband fights in the Middle East; Tabitha, who becomes the alleged victim of murderous domestic violence at the hands of her Special Operations boyfriend; and Danette, once an Army brat and now a devoted Air Force wife, who teaches, raises two teens, and fills her days with endless volunteer work.

Houppert shows that these women make some of the same sacrifices of their personal liberties as their husbands do and yet garner none of the respect accorded their spouses. Today, these military wives find themselves torn between an entrenched tradition that would keep them in a Leave It to Beaver family ideal and a modern social climate suggesting that women are entitled to more–a career of their own, self-determination, and a true parenting partner.

Meanwhile, the military concocts family-friendly policies and spends millions on new programs designed to appease military wives–and to maintain them as staunch supporters who will encourage their husbands’ reenlistment. The Army likes to say that it “recruits soldiers, but retains families.” And indeed, the future of the all-volunteer force hinges on the success of this mission. Though Army brass speak glowingly of the “Army Family Team,” this team is often deeply divided over strategy–and even goals.

A gritty, behind-the-scenes look at the tour of duty from the domestic front, Home Fires Burning provides a fascinating, fresh look at an enormous American institution and the families that live in its shadow.

Genres: Military Fiction, Nonfiction, Memoir

272 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2005

Reviews

[Shirley J · Rating 3 out of 5]

I haven't read any books about military life until now. Questioning whether or not her point of view was accurate, a review from military.com included this perspective:

"Houppert raises some important and legitimate questions that deserve a thoughtful, balanced, and honest analysis."

However, that is not the focus of her research. I agree that even though the content supports some positive aspects of being married with a spouse in the military, the negativity is high. The book is written in an easy to-read style and I found the research interesting enough to read to the last page.

I am left wondering, 12 years after the book was written:

Was the renovation of Fort Drum completed and a successful improvement?

Is Fort Bragg still as deplorable as described in the book?

Are military wages still considerably lower than public sector jobs?

Has the high school graduation rate improved for enlistees?

What has been the effect of years of deployments to Afghanistan and Iraq on every aspect of military life Houppert pointed out in her book: housing, morale support, wages, local employment for wives, pressure on spouses to volunteer, timely communication between military administration and spouses.

Has Congress done a better or poorer job of providing funding for the enlistees that are married since this book was written?

Now the search begins to find a book that might reveal some of those answers.

[Melissasinthestacks · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not what I was expecting. I don't know what I was expecting. It says "Married to the Military..." but it was mostly about the ARMY. My husband is NAVY, and I guess I just see things a little different than what the author was reporting. I really felt that the author was very negative about the military in general and that made me a little angry while reading this. I have been a NAVY wife for 12+ years, I rarely participate in any kind of spouse groups and have never felt that I "was forced" to participate or my husband's career would suffer. When we were newly married back in 1997, we lived in two different military housing units and it was nothing like what the author describes (she is describing housing in 2001, and painting an awful picture of it). I also had a very well paying job, she writes as if military wives can't get a job, let alone a good paying one. Like I said, my husband is NAVY, so maybe that's the difference, I don't know. I don't really think I would recommend this book...

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Houppert did a much better and broader job of documenting the Army wife experience than did Tanya Biank, I think, in that this book made me ricochet back and forth between thinking it sounded like a good, steady deal and thinking only crazy people would get involved (Biank's editorial strategy mainly just made me afraid my husband would kill me, which is a drawback but hardly the primary one). The consistency of the other conclusions between the two books, though, was compelling. I was briefly convinced, actually, that I'd somehow already read this book and then forgotten most of it, but I realized what was happening: one of the women she profiles was for all intents and purposes exactly the same as one of Biank's interviewees: a junior enlisted wife whose husband is a douche, stuck on the base with a baby and no skills to speak of, for whom the Army is both a curse and a blessing.

[Caulyne B · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is another one of my favorite army wife books. I recognized myself and those I knew in many of the women featured in this book. It isn't sugar coated. It isn't rah-rah patriotism and flag waving. But it is a reflection of the trials that "dependents" face.

[Joellen · Rating 3 out of 5]

would I make it as a military wife? No way, no how, but I did find it interesting in the same way I liked "Geisha". I'm putting it on my new shelf, How-other-people-live.

[Erin · Rating 4 out of 5]

No cheezey patriotism or ode to self-sacrifice. Houppert's book was an honest look at what is required of military spouses, both the good and the bad. She didn't sugarcoat it!

[Jenn Richardson · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really wanted to like this book. At first I did like it, the fact that Fort Drum was prominently featured made it a bit more relate-able for me. I also like that she didn't gloss over some of the harder parts of being a military spouse. However, as I read more I felt like I was reading less of the wives stories and more statistics. I also felt like she spent half the book insulting the military. I started skimming through a lot of it about 60% in. This book just wasn't for me.