Closet

Todd Mills Mystery #1

by R.D. Zimmerman

It began with a brutal attack in a posh Minneapolis neighborhood.  And from the first killing to the next, Todd Mills was at the center of the story.  The son of Polish immigrants, Todd had changed his name and risen to the top of his field as a TV news reporter, winning two Emmy Awards along the way.  Then his world came crashing down.  Suddenly, the double life he'd hidden for so long was brutally uncovered: he was the secret lover of the first man to die.

When Michael was murdered, Todd lost everything--including a life lived as a lie.  Now he's out of the closet and under suspicion, desperately investigating the killings himself, moving through a world of gay bars, steamy nightclubs, and double identities--where the one secret that matters most belongs to a killer who will strike again . . . and again.

Genres: Mystery, M M Romance, LGBT, Gay, Fiction, Crime, Gay Fiction

320 pages, Paperback

First published September 1, 1995

About the author

A pseudonym used by Robert Alexander

Award-winning author R.D. Zimmerman has been nominated for two Edgars, two Lambda Literary Awards, and an Anthony. He has written ten previous novels, including Tribe and Closet (1996 Lambda Literary Award winner) in the Todd Mills series, six children's books, and created six bestselling mystery jigsaw puzzles. Raised in Chicago, he now lives in Minneapolis.

Reviews

[Syfy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Perfect pitch, out of the ballpark, grand slam, over a field of broken glass.

A 90's murder mystery. Action packed, spine tingling, who done it and why is that guy sexy as hell? Not the cop, the Drag Queen. You'd know who I was talking about if you'd read the book!
I loved the characters, the language and attitude was perfect. The pacing ramped up to a climactic finish; you may get a niggling sense of who the culprit is but never know til the very end.
I can imagine quite a few people's eyebrows raised at some of the twisty turns but it's a thriller, not a romance novel *thank you very much*

This took me back to the day's when I was addicted to Banis, Stevenson, Thornton and like. *sigh*
Good times baby, good times!

[Ije the Devourer of Books · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a really good mystery. Fast paced, gritty, twists and turns and shadows, and an ending that you can't predict.

BUT

The main character is just miserable.

MISERABLE!!!

Oh my goodness!!

I know that this was written in 1993 or thereabouts but please!! I can't even describe it as angst. The main character spent most of the book moaning and groaning about his mistakes and I too wanted to abhor myself and repent in sack cloth and ashes even though I hadn't done anything!

I now need to go and read some happy go lucky shifter stories to restore my equilibrium. :(

So I read this Lambda Lit Award winner and realised that I didn't much care for miserable Todd Mills the main character.

At the beginning of the story he was selfishly ambitious, closeted and treated his boyfriend very very badly. The poor treatment was due to being closeted and having to hide his relationship, but he was selfish! Utterly selfish!! Hence the misery. :(

Everyone has to decide how to live their lives and not everyone can be out, utterly fabulous and wonderful, which is how I describe my wonderful gay friends, but Todd Mills wasn't just closeted, he was also selfish and full of self pity and recriminations and this was the theme throughout the book.

And this self pity could be seen in all sorts of ways. For example, Todd and his lesbian friend Janice felt that their lives would have been soooooo much easier if they had been straight, despite the fact they had good jobs, houses, cars and material wealth and steady relationships. Who told them that life is easy for straight people??
I wanted to shake both of them and tell them to try being straight and poor, or straight and disabled, or trying being straight and a migrant worker trying to sail across the sea in a leaky boat. Or just try being straight and female in some countries. etc etc.

And that is just one example of the kind of self pity that the main character expressed through out the whole book. I can take flawed characters but not those that are overflowing with self pity.

BUT Todd does manage to find some truth. Thankfully. Todd's journey into truth starts with the murder of his boyfriend and he outs himself from the shock of grief and loss.

But the recriminations and sorrow for the way he kept their relationship hidden go on and on and on, self pity almost ad nauseum. Of course this was all wrapped up in grief and lost opportunity and the lost love but it was very tedious to read and the only thing that saved this book for me was the fact that it is well written, tension filled and a good mystery.

Slowly, slowly Todd begins to realise that perhaps the murderer was someone they both knew and that he should do his utmost to find the killer. As he comes to this realisation he turns his grief into determination and despite his turncoat media employers, and his regret, he starts to investigate.

So the pace of the story picks up around the 60 per cent mark because it is no longer a straight forward case of murder, but there are twists and turns and shadows which seek to swallow Todd but don't. It is also a kind of turning point for him because although he still feels sorrow, regret and doubts his investigative skills rise to the fore and he remembers what made him such a great TV reporter and he tracks down the killer.

It is the second half of the story that really made it for me and kind of redeemed it from the overwhelming grief and regret. Redeemed it a little.

Todd was selfish and took his partner for granted. Then when he was murdered Todd wallowed in regret, self recrimination and self pity. At the very end (the last few pages) he kind of finds his self worth again which gives me hope for the rest of the series but it wasn't a real pleasurable read. Alas.

But there is hope!!

Thankfully this is book one in a series and this isn't a bad start just an draining one. I may venture to the next story.

But only after fortifying myself with some delightfully sugary shifter story. Still four stars for a good mystery even if the main character was somewhat nerve grating.

[Jon · Rating 3 out of 5]

A solid mystery, deftly plotted and slowly revealed. The characters are engaging and well developed. I thought I'd figured out "who done it", but Zimmerman shocked me at the end. Wonderful beginning to a mystery series I will no doubt read more. Highly recommended.

[~Mindy Lynn~ · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5*

[Erin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed the twists and turns of the book, though it felt more like a thriller at times that a mystery novel. Given that the main mystery is the death of the main character’s long time partner, enough time and weight is given for grief. However, that leads to most of the investigation by the main character not starting until 2/3rds of the way through the book. Most clues are given to the reader through POV changes rather than investigation. I still really enjoyed it, especially the looks at the gay community in Minneapolis in the 90s, but it did not have as much active investigation for the mystery as I had hoped.

[Otto · Rating 4 out of 5]

Solid mystery with a cast consisting of several gay characters. There's a few dated elements as this was written in the nineties but overall it holds up well. The drama kept me engaged and I really enjoyed the way Zimmerman fleshed out each supporting character as best he could in a whodunit... definitely didn't expect that final twist!! I will be reading the next book in the Todd Mills series for sure

[Ami · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars
Todd Mills is a closet gay crime reporter from Channel 7. He has two Emmys and a promotion along the way. But this puts strain to his secret relationship. His lover, Michael, puts an ultimatum. Come out of the closet or they're done. Todd has just finally realizes what Michael means to him and ready to tell his station about it and come out of the closet. But when he returns to Michael's house after a fight, it turns out that Michael is murdered. In distraught, Todd tells everyone via the news camera that Michael is his lover. This suddenly puts Todd's life in scrutiny, as he becomes the suspect.

This is the first book of Todd Mills mystery series. Written back in mid 1990-s, I'm so happy when Amazon.com re-release this series for under one dollar for Kindle. I totally grab the chance to read them. I immediately take a liking towards Todd. It's heartbreaking to know that when he realizes that he is ready to tell his secret, his lover is brutally taken away from him. I have to be honest, there is also one scene that I'm not sure about a week after Michael's death, Todd does the deed with detective handling the case, Steven Rawlins but at the end, it opens to a new relationship I think ... so maybe I can deal with that.

The mystery is pretty good ... the murderer is one that I don't see coming. Especially with the "smoke and mirrors" plot that Mr. Zimmerman writes related to the reason why Michael is murderer, along with the people involved.

I think it's a good start of a series, and will definitely check the next.

[Neet · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the first in the Todd Mills series and boy is it good....I read this when it first came out in paperback and it is still as good as when I read it eons ago...Todd Mills is an Emmy Award winning reporter, ready to be promoted to the anchor position at his Minneapolis station ..Todd has it all looks, talent , and he also deeply closeted .His deeply devoted and loving boyfriend Michael feels this promotion will just break their relationship and keep Todd in the closet , he has been patient with Todd for four years ,but he is tired of being Todd's dirty little secret.....he issues an ultimatum....Todd needs to be open about his sexuality at his job or lose Michael ...Todd is angry he never hurts Michael physically,but destroys the apartment and says harsh things.....Todd then realizes that he has a choice to make ....he wants Michael , but is it too late ?? Cruel fate has dealt a bad hand to these two lovers and words will be left unsaid and a happy ever after will never be,,,Enter Detective Steve Rawlins, a man who will investigate a murder with many secrets and his eye on Todd...Also enter Jeff , a childhood friend of Michaell's who never understood why he would have a relationship with the closeted Todd....Enter a mystery that is a real page turner and which I highly recommend!

[Nicci · Rating 4 out of 5]

rating: 4.5 stars

The moment I began reading the thoughts of an unnamed narrator in the first chapter, I was hooked on Closet. The suspense and tension kept me glued to the book until I finished in one reading. The story is focused on the mysterious killer and Todd who comes under more suspicion as a second murder will take place. We get glimpses of Todd and Michael time together through Todd’s internal thinking. We learn how much they mean to each other and what a fool Todd was. The romance is secondary to the main plot and have Detective Steve Rawlins and Todd giving into the UST.

Full Review: http://twlibreviews.com/2012/06/revie...

[Bytchfemme · Rating 3 out of 5]

It lost me in places, confused me at times, made me angry, left me bored occasionally and even had me screaming at the MC... In the end though, the mystery and the twists and turns kept me entertained. A good read for sure.

[Louis Bergonzi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quick summer read. Twists are not that twisty. Bonus: now story offers with perspective on the closet that is over 20 years ago. Some things change; some don't. Bushy mustaches, out. Public and media figures in the closet/Corey Booker? Kevin Spacey? are you listening?

[Chris · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very good m/m mystery about a prominent and closeted tv reporter whose boyfriend is murdered... and he's being set up to take the fall. As a bonus, it's set in Minneapolis in 1995. :)

[ConM · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent suspense. Set and written in mid-90s but did not feel too dated.

[Ron Kerrigan · Rating 3 out of 5]

OK but slightly dated mystery that had a bit too many details about what street the characters were driving down (unless you live in Minneapolis, maybe.)

[Colin · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5/5

[Deanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

A mystery set in the 1990's. In the bigger scheme of life it is such a small time ago, but in the reality of our lives much has moved forward, both in the gay life and in technology. It was interesting to be taken back. From the opening I was hooked.

When he saw through the windshield that the house lights were on, his skin prickled and he started trembling in nervous anticipation. This was the night, he thought, gripping the steering wheel so tightly that for a moment he wondered if it would snap off. From the darkness of his car he watched the figure move from one room to another, and he knew that at last he would have Michael to himself. Tonight was finally the night; there would be interruption...

He parked around the corner, carefully pulling his car into a pool of darkness. He took a deep breath, felt his heart churning wildly, then released the steering wheel from his death grip and looked at his hands. Shit, he thought, examining his palms, noting the perspiration glistening even in this stingy light. This would be the first time, the first one. Why shouldn't he be nervous as hell? Not long ago he'd realized he had no other choice, that this ws the next step in his life, as inevitable as the next breath and the one after that. But he still hadn't believed he was really going to go through with it. Not until now. There was no other step, no shirking the need, and he felt a rush of excitement meld with a rich sense of fear.

Todd is very emotional for a man who is uptight and afraid to be who he is. He is a man who has strived for success and on the cusp of achieving it finds it is not what is important but is it too late?

Except when he was sent out here to do a story he avoided this part of town, which distinguished itself from the freeways of Chicago or Dallas only by the intensity of the winter cold. Tonight, though, he'd finished a story hours ahead of schedule, yet couldn't bear to go home. He was so confused that he just couldn't make himself return to the empty place, so he kept going and going, driving on and wanting to get away, to flee from himself and this world he'd so carefully constructed over the past twenty-plus years. He'd cranked up the radio, gotten on some freeway, and somehow ended up out here, an impersonal land of concrete and mindless shopping malls.

The characters were complex. Their descriptions painted pictures in my mind. I felt for Todd and Michael and their love.

Their closest moments emotionally were when the lights were out and they were in bed, side by side. It was only then that everyone and everything was blocked out. Or rather, it was only then that the entire world seemed to spark from their love and passion. When Todd held Michael in his arms, when he was assured that no one was watching and judging and that the expectations of the world were blind to them both, he knew this was right, the two of the,. There was no paranoid double think, no wondering if others were looking, staring, hating. There was just the purity of the moment, the honesty of their emotions.

[Vero · Rating 2 out of 5]

1,5 stars. It was free - and had annoying hyphenation in all the wrong places...

This had a very strange crime plot and some very unlikable characters.

It was not overall badly written, but not really enjoyable either. I especially couldn't warm to Todd Mills, the protagonists, whose lover is killed, but who fortunately finds a replacement within a week. So all good. Because, really, who needs to grieve when the love of your life is killed in a gruesome murder...just jump onto the next horse/bike/cop...even if it's your lover's first lover...no argument about taste...

What I disliked about the crime/mystery part was, that the author changed the story to lead the reader up the garden path...seemed like a cheap trick to me.
And the solution was insofar obvious as the culprit was the last adult in the whole novel who was not implicated in the crime...

Also the hyphenation was annoying and interrupted the reading.

[Nancy Carbajal · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was released back in '95 so its dated, but its an interesting story. Todd Mills is an investigating reporter in the closet when given the ultimatum by his secret lover. When an ugly fight insuses and Todd comes to the conclusion that he'd rather come out and stay with Micheal, its to late...Micheal has been murdered and Todd is the main suspect. Now Todds every fear he has ever known comes crashing down around him, loosing his job, fear of coming out, but mostly coming to the realization that hiding his sexuality is really the main cause for all his woes. That and the fact that he will never see Micheal again to finally let him know that he was ready to come out and lead a life with him in the open. Now someone else is murdered and it looks like someone is trying to frame Todd...and it might even be someone he knows, or knows him.

[Suze · Rating 4 out of 5]

The ramifications of a sudden death - in this case the muder of Michael - are explored. As the bandage is ripped off a seemingly good life, people near to Michael suddenly seem to have secrets.
Todd, Michael's very closeted lover is the police's prime suspect, especially after they argued violently the night before the murder.
The actions of Jeff, Rick, Rawlins and even Michael himself all set up red herrings and raise questions of their innocence. Only Todd, in his seemingly downward spiral, appears innocent despite the evidence piling up against him.

I enjoyed the story - yes, there were a couple of points that would not/should not happen in real life - and certainly Todd's frustration came over well. The doubts thrown up over the other prime candidates were tantalising and it was only at the end that the real culprit came to light.
A 3.5*, rounded up.

[Ed · Rating 4 out of 5]

#1 in the Todd Mills series. Todd Mills, investigative reporter, discovers the murder of his gay lover. Now he's outed, the victim of network politics and the subject of police suspicion.

Todd Mills series - It began with a brutal attack in a posh Minneapolis neighborhood. And from the first killing to the next, Todd Mills was at the center of the story. Todd had risen to the top of his field as a TV news reporter. Then his world came crashing down. Suddenly, the double life he'd hidden for so long was uncovered: he was the secret lover of the first man to die. When Michael was murdered, Todd lost everything. Now he's out of the closet and under suspicion, desperately investigating the killings himself--where the secret that matters most belongs to a killer.

[Theresa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Todd Mills is an award winning broadcaster with a secret boyfriend who is tired of hiding their relationship, but Todd is afraid that if he comes out, he will lose his career. They have a huge fight and Todd leaves to clear his head. While driving around he realizes that his partner is more important than any career so he goes home to tell Michael but when he arrives, he finds out that Michael has been murdered. Todd is the number one suspect. To tell you more would spoil the mystery but it's important to remember this book was published in 1995, so many things we take for granted, like gay marriage and Anderson Cooper were unheard of back then.

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was one of the first books I had gotten from paperbackswap.com and, for some reason, I was hesitant to start it. I had in my head that it was going to be crap. Boy was I wrong :D
I really enjoyed the main character and love how he tried to stay true to his boyfriend (who was murdered) and continued to miss him and try to find out who killed him.
There were some neat twists and several times I thought I was convinced I had guessed right by who the murder was.

When I went to a friend's place, I was surprised that she had the same book, though she had yet to start it.
308 pages

[Pjm12 · Rating 3 out of 5]

More of a whodunnit with a gay MC than a mm romance story. First published in 1997, it is hard to imagine that life was so difficult for homosexuals back then. And of course still today marginalised people struggle for acceptance, but Todd was so closeted and so terrified by being outed, it all seemed too much.

A little too repetetive and slow for me. Don't think I will chase down any of the subsequent novels. Got this free from amazon.

[Nathan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a hell of a story. I rarely get the treat of reading gay-themed murder mysteries, and I was surprised when I discovered this one was written in 1995! It's an interesting time capsule of a period in history where things were shifting. Those in the gay community who'd survived the AIDS crisis were now pushing for equality and acceptance. Closet deals with a lot of those issues, all while a dangerous person is on the loose killing gay men. It's quite a read!

[Eric L Aust · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really love this character

It was fast paced and characters (for a gay murder mystery) we're well developed.

For a change the bad guy was not part of religious zealots or conservative wackos .

The plot was well thought out and it wasn't to obvious who the bad guy was.

Very good beginning for this series of books. Highly recommend

[Eperdu · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent book! It is about gay men but isn't overt, so don't be put off by it.

Anyway, loved this book. I have to say I was left guessing about whodunit which is always a plus. Now to get the rest of the stories....

[Larry Koester · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've rarely read mysteries, but the todd mills series got me started. It us different in that the two main characters are gay lovers. One a reporter and the other a cop and this first book is where they met.

[Barry Rocklin]

Read VERY fast... cover to cover in less than 4 hours

[Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book. I've read three of the books in the Todd Mills series so far.

[Lenoire]

A good mystery full of twist and turn.