Swine Not?: A Novel Pig Tale

by Jimmy Buffett

Bestselling novelist Jimmy Buffett has been making up stories all his life. (The dog ate his homework, and that new tattoo was somebody else's fault.) Now fiction's favorite pirate spins a colorful novel about a Southern family determined to hide their pet pig in a fancy four-star hotel in New York City -- while a meat-loving chef is sharpening his carving knife downstairs.

Come along as master storyteller Jimmy Buffett presents a gumbo of captivating characters and outrageous events in this wonderfully entertaining pig tale -- proving once again that stretching the truth is a lot of fun, and laughing is the best vacation of all.

Genres: Fiction, Humor, Animals, Contemporary, Family, Comedy, Domestic

234 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2008

About the author

James William "Jimmy" Buffett (born December 25, 1946) was a singer, songwriter, author, businessman, and recently a movie producer best known for his "island escapism" lifestyle and music including hits such as "Margaritaville" (No. 234 on RIAA's list of "Songs of the Century"), and "Come Monday". He had a devoted base of fans known as "Parrotheads". His band was called the Coral Reefer Band.

Aside from his career in music, Buffett was also a best-selling writer and was involved in two restaurant chains named after two of his best known songs, "Cheeseburger in Paradise" and "Margaritaville". He owned the Margaritaville Cafe restaurant chain and co-developed the Cheeseburger in Paradise restaurant concept with OSI Restaurant Partners (parent of Outback Steakhouse), which operates the chain under a licensing agreement with Buffett.

Reviews

[Betsy · Rating 1 out of 5]

The fact that this book landed in my possession and I actually read it is a signal that my life may be slipping into a slow witted existence. Not only is it probably the stupidest book I have ever read, which is disturbing by itself, but it is supremely terrifying that I would even consider reading anything written by Jimmy Buffett. Sadly, on the advice of another, I did accept the loan of the book and for some bizarre reason, did read the entire moronic tale. The experience was made even more horrific by the inclusion of poorly photoshopped photos at the beginning of every chapter. I don't know if I want to divulge the story, it is too embarrassing…oh well, here goes: Told in first person (alternating chapters) by Barley and Maple, male and female twins AND their pet pig, Rumpy...oh dear, I cannot go on. Do not read this book, not even to children. I beg forgiveness for this transgression. I feel such shame.

[Megan · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is one of the worst books I've ever read. Oh, Children's Book of the Month club--how could you steer me so wrong? The humor is over-reaching. I could scarcely push myself to finish it.

[Andrea]

I got a kick out of this tale of a pet pig secretly living in the fanciest hotel in NYC. But it definitely wasn't standard Jimmy Buffett fare. There were no beaches, no boats, no lighthouses. If you're a fan of his books, this one might not feel right to you. It reads like a kids' book, which is no surprise since that's how it started - a friend of JB's showed him a children's book she'd written, and he expanded it to create Swine Not? (the illustrations were part of the original kids' book). If you forget that this is meant for adults, it's OK. It reads more like a juvenile fiction book. In fact, I think it would make a great Disney/Pixar film. But as an adult book, it falls a little flat.

[Laura Edwards · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is an okay novel for middle-schoolers. Problem is it is marketed as a novel for adults.

The idea for the book happened when a friend brought Jimmy Buffett a 25-page manuscript with illustrations and asked for his opinion. To me, the length and illustrations suggest the book was originally meant to be for children or some type of coffee table book (Before Jimmy Buffett appropriated the idea. At least he used Helen Bransford's illustrations and gave her credit.). I think the story would have been better served left in its original form, as a book for children (or coffee table book).

The one interesting aspect is the fact one of the two narrative voices throughout the novel is the pig. Definitely a different sort of POV.

[Cindy (BKind2Books) · Rating 2 out of 5]

This little book is the tale of a pig who is moved from Tennessee to New York City. It is cute but in a somewhat self-conscious way. I thought that the things that could have been cute came off as just too much - twins named Maple & Barley, a town called Vertigo, and a pig with a pet soccer ball. Add in a brigade of pigeons called the Pigilantes and it's just annoying. I found nothing very unique in the story and could see the denouement from a mile away. I think this is supposed to be an adult fairy tale, but I think it might be more appropriate for ten year olds.

[Constance · Rating 1 out of 5]

Having read another of JB's books, I reached for this thinking I needed a light, summer read.
I only finished it because it was carried on a plane trip. (Was this written for children?? I wouldn't even recommend it for children.)

[Pam Patrick · Rating 1 out of 5]

Nope. Gave up after 19 pages. I just wasn’t interested and had a hard time paying attention and following along. Sorry Jimmy.... love your music, couldn’t get through the book.

[Cynthia Egbert · Rating 3 out of 5]

"The best navigators are not always certain where they are, but they are always aware of their uncertainty." Okay, technically that quote is from another of Jimmy Buffett's books but I loved that he quoted one of his own characters it in his introduction. Jimmy Buffett saves me again, his is the voice and pen that I really need right now and this book was perfect. Light and goofy and bordering on ridiculous but so much fun. I am sad for all those folks who reviewed it so poorly, I think they need more steel drum music in their lives...

[Megan (inkand.imagination) · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book! It’s a fast read that is also heartwarming and easy to fall in love with. The characters are all wonderful, but especially Barley and Maple, and the star of the novel - their pet pig Rumpy.

I didn’t really know what to expect going into this book (other than the fact that it’s written by one of my fav. musical artists), but I ended up loving it. It’s fun, quirky, and cute. I definitely recommend this one to anyone looking for something light and fun to read.

[Carolyn · Rating 1 out of 5]

Maybe 1 1/2 stars, but the bottom line is "do not recommend."

I like Jimmy Buffett's music and think he's a good storyteller. But maybe he should stick to beaches, bars, and the occasional pirate.

[Derek Hugo · Rating 1 out of 5]

Book ⭐️
1 star reviews ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

[Stephanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

With Jimmy Buffett AND a pig, I thought Swine not? Unfortunately I do not believe i am the right audience for this book 😂

[Jenny · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was like reading a temu Charlotte’s Web at times. It was occasionally enduring. I was hoping for a villain redemption arc and was very satisfied. Mr. Buffet, you’ve done it again.

[Zachary Littrell · Rating 2 out of 5]

Kind of a waste of time. A family moves to New York, and they have a pet pig, Rumpy. The end.

(The pig plays soccer, too, I guess? It amounts to nothing in the book, except that the pig has a hobby. Which is nice.)

What's upsetting is it ain't even bad enough to get really mad at it, so I can't have the satisfaction of ripping it a big new one gosh dammit (lord help me I'll try though). It's probably for 12 year olds. I won't pretend to understand 12 year olds. But I don't think Jimmy "I write beach and beer songs for your Dad" Buffett does either.

It's 90% boring. Every once in a while there are downright confusing shifts in the plot, which are also my favorite things because I had to at least pause and wonder "Jimmy wrote this for TWO YEARS. Why the hell did you put this in, Jimmy?":

* Mom goes on (1) one date. The date takes her out for steak and to see a war movie. She didn't enjoy it. WHY DID WE HAVE THIS SCENE? SHE NEVER DATES AGAIN.

* Mom also goes on a temper tantrum and calls a German soccer coach Adolf. You know, cause we call Germans we don't like 'Adolf,' kids.

* An asshole French chef literally slices Rumpy and draws blood. Jimmy takes a break from his inoffensive children book to describe in detail how this pig has been stuck and wounded.

** Let's not ignore that the two villains in the story are European foreigners. Thank god Jimmy didn't remember any other nationality (oh, besides the drunk French chef mentioning dogs are eaten in China... SWINE NOT! AHAHAH)

* Dad helps Mom and the family move from the boonies to New York, and the son Barley keeps thinking how unreliable his Dad is and how he's not there for him. Jeeze louise, kid.

* Barley leaves a poem for his sister and mom about not leaving food out. It is SO LOONG. It goes from "oh, cute" to "the teenager is an asshole."

* There's an ex-Disney channel star called Royal T. She doesn't matter.

* Why am I reading this. This isn't a point. I'm just depressed I did.

* Book ends with someone saying "Swine not." Jimmy...

I make it out to sound a lot more fun than it is, but boy howdy do you have to tease this all out of long stretches of nothing and old man kvetching.

The absolute bizarrest element of all of this mess is Buffet takes the LONGEST victory lap I've ever read at the end of a book. As though anyone of the face of the earth gives a shit.

I like "Margaritaville." Hell, I like "5 o'Clock Somewhere" because, yeah, wouldn't we all like to live on island time? I bear no ill-will for a guy who writes boat music. But best case scenario Jimmy wrote this out of a misguided belief he understands what entertains kids. Worst case scenario, he smashed Charlotte's Web and Babe and Air Bud into one book and milked some money off his name.

[Tom Croom · Rating 2 out of 5]

James Franco is one of my favorite human beings. What, you ask, does that have to do with this book? Allow me to explain...

James Franco is an actor who has been public about not just being an actor. After finishing some television and film, he took the time to go back to college (read: Columbia University!) and work on a masters degree. When choosing his roles, he doesn't shy away from jumping from blockbuster films to doing a gig on a television soap opera.

I like people who step out of their "normal" lives and try to be more than they are. Jimmy Buffett is one of those types of people. He has a merchandise and restaurant empire build on his musical talent that convey (and effectively sell) a certain state of mind. He's enjoyed a ton of success for stepping outside his proverbial box.

I respect Jimmy's attempts at writing, but Swine Not? is the weakest of his publications. It's a cute short story that somehow got blown into a full time novel. You can feel Buffett pulling from every direction for more words and asides to keep the narrative going in this story about a pig living in New York City. It is based on (according to the jacket) a true story.

This book doesn't necessarily suck - but it really didn't need to be more than 100 pages long. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go listen to my copy of Fruitcakes.

[Midge · Rating 2 out of 5]

I love the honest and fun lyrics of Jimmy Buffett's music. So here is an easy-reading book by the famous Mr. Buffett that resembles his lighthearted songs. Who would think that a "yarn" -- and that's sort of what this is -- about a very unusual family and their tango-dancing, soccer-playing, gourmet-eating, thinking and conniving pig -- would be such fun! It's a quick read, and, honestly, I think might be more appreciated by early-teens. BUT...maybe it's the wisdom of age that makes one able to slow down, ruminate the prose, and appreciate the fantasy and wit of this "swine"…I mean fine… story.

[Andrea Larson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Picked up another Jimmy Buffett book since I'd enjoyed A Salty Piece of Land, I was in a hurry when I went to the library to make my selection, and it sounded so different from the earlier book.

Swine Not? is a story of a pig who lives in a four star Manhattan hotel with a set of twins and their mom. A bit fanciful, as you might guess, definitely light reading, probably a children's book, though I didn't check on that for sure, but still an enjoyable enough read. If I'd read this one first, I'm not sure I would have checked out A Salty Piece of Land. I think it would make an excellent animated feature.

[Tori · Rating 1 out of 5]

This has got to be the stupidest fucking book I have ever read. It reads like a picture book made for a toddler that has for some reason been adapted into a full length novel. It's not marketed toward children, which I suppose is good because it's idiotic beyond the point of entertainment even for a child. Jimmy Buffet should just go back to Margaritaville.

[Donna Stuedeman · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you're not a Jimmy Buffett fan or you don't appreciate his humor, then don't bother. If you're looking for a fast, comedic story that only someone like him could think up, it's worth the couple of hours it takes to read it.

[Paige Dalton-Reitz · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a really cute, quick read! Pretty simple plot, but fun and well-developed characters and I loved Buffett's insertion of his values (pro-environmentalism, pro-feminism, etc.) in the novel through his characters.

[Carol Stanley-Snow · Rating 5 out of 5]

LOVED, LOVED, LOVED this book!! Too cute for words, and yet i have some!

I want a pig just a cute and smart as Rumpy. You must read this book. It's a fast read that will keep you smiling...

[Irishcoda · Rating 3 out of 5]

I checked Swine Not by Jimmy Buffett out of the library about a month ago. I have always enjoyed his songs and his message of escapism. The cover looked like fun: a grinning Jimmy Buffett, book in hand, relaxing on a hammock at the beach. Lying beside him on the sand: a potbellied pig.

The story was both outrageous and funny, with a happily-ever-after ending. The basic plot is a family from Tennessee, the McBrides, move to New York City because Mom has been hired as an assistant chef for a large, prestigious hotel. There is a set of 12-year-old twins, a cat, and a potbellied pig in Mom’s immediate family. She and the dad are separated or divorced.

The McBrides view both Syrup (the cat) and Rumpy (the pig) to be members of the family. They are included in the move.

Their living quarters is on the roof of the hotel. It’s nicknamed “The Fishbowl” because all of the walls are open glass.

No exotic pets, like pigs, are permitted so Rumpy has to be hidden most of the time. The twins devise a way to get Rumpy in and out of the hotel so that he can enjoy Central Park, which is across the street from the hotel.

Some of the scenes are funny and others are outrageously hilarious.

I think adults would enjoy the story, but I believe it’s also suited to children.

I haven’t read Jimmy Buffett’s other books but now they are going on my TBR.

[Courtenay · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was my first Jimmy Buffett book, and I chose it for its length - perfect audiobook for 6 hour round trip road trip. I did not realize that it was written more for children and those who enjoy children’s books. I’m not a child, and I usually enjoy children’s books, but this one was only a 4 star book to me.

On our road trip, my husband & I listened first to an introduction from Jimmy Buffet, explaining how he got the idea for a privileged pig who at one time lived in a glamorous hotel.

Another narrator read this book about a young boy, Barley, and his female twin, Maple, as well as their pet pig Rumpy. It’s not just told by the twins, from their perspectives, but also by their pet pig Rumpy & his point of view. Divorce, moving around, pet love, villains, disguises, and family loyalty were some of the subjects covered by Buffett, and all were told with humor & empathy. Pigalantes were the funniest part to my husband, and I laughed at their antics, too.

We think this book would be entertaining for middle school students, but those who are older might lose interest and give up. Since we were in a car, bored with the road, we listened to the end. And we did get laughs that merited a 4 star review.

[Julian Spivey · Rating 3 out of 5]

When Jimmy Buffett died last week I knew that my next book should be one of the bestsellers he wrote. I had read an autobiography of his “A Pirate Looks at Fifty” in junior high (wow, I was a weird kid wasn’t I?) but I don’t think I’d ever read any of his fiction. “Swine Not?” honestly would not have been my first choice but it was the only one available through the apps I use to select books via my local library so it was what I had.

“Swine Not?” is about a small town Tennessee family who moves to a posh hotel in New York City when the mom gets a job in the hotel’s kitchen. They have a pet pig - Rumpy - and well the hotel doesn’t allow exotic pets so they have to hide Rumpy and hijinks ensue.

It’s a fun, easy-read/listen that works because of its brevity and the fact that it works for the whole family as an audience. It’s the kind of story that had it been made as a movie (a la “Dunston Checks In” that me and my brothers probably would’ve watched over and over as kids.

I hope to read something a bit more serious Buffett wrote next time.

[Tania · Rating 3 out of 5]

In Swine Not? Buffet stretches a true tale told by a friend into a novel about a gifted pig and her humans. The POV switches between said pig, Rumpy, and her faithful twin humans, Maple and Barley. The story they are weaving revolves around their uprooting from a down-home town in Tennessee where a soccer-playing pig is regular fare to move to the Big Apple, NYC, in a glass house sitting on top of the hotel that hired their mom Ellie as pastry chef.

It should have been more fun than it was; somehow I think the first-person POV and how it switched around took away from the story. Everyone had their own agenda, there was some top-secret pig mission that Rumpy took on which kind of pushed everything over the top, and overall it was a bit hammy (if you don't like that pun, then the humor of this book is not for you). This novel is more cute than it is funny.

[Renee · Rating 3 out of 5]

it was entertaining. I am doing a book challenge at our library and this was a "wild card" that I drew from a bag of books. it was a fun read. The chapters switched between the young boy's perspective and the pig, Rumpy's, perspective. They lived in a house ( alot of glass, do they called it a fishtank) on top of a hotel where their mom was a pastry chef. They had to keep Rumpy hidden. Rumpy knew her brother Lukie was in NYC and she was on a mission to find him. The 2 kids (twins) came up with creative ways to sneak Rumpy out of the hotel (no exotic pets were allowed there) so she could have fresh air. They didn't know she was looking for her brother. Rumpy enlisted the help of some pigeons in finding Lukie. I really enjoyed the characters in the story, especially Rumpy. Fun read.

[Harriet Berg · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jimmy Buffett tells a tale of a family who lived in the country moving to a penthouse in a huge hotel in New York City. However, they, like many others, have a pet pig which they could not leave behind. But, animals are not allowed in the new building, which is to be their home. What to do? The hilarious events that surround the hiding of the pig will keep the reader laughing. A very nice family story, I think it is most suitable for children in grades 4-6. The chapters are written in the voice of two of the characters: Rumpy the Pig and Barley the Boy, and it is important to remember who is speaking. Buffett has done well with this book.

[Al Gritten · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is an entertaining and thought provoking read that is a vast departure from his "Where is Joe Merchant" novel. It reads quickly and is very engaging as this family and their pet pig try to find their place in the world and in the hustle and bustle of New York City. The novel is based on the real life story of a family who had a pet pig that lived in a hotel in Manhattan, and in fact the illustrations are by the woman who owned the pig and the story is based on her story. It is a quick read but will leave you both warm hearted and thoughtful about what it means to find a place where you belong and what "home" means.

[Dominic Salvucci · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you are looking for a Jimmy Buffett song, this book is not for you, however it is a lighthearted, fun read. The book is a bit silly, in a fun way, and an enjoyable “Summer Read. The book changes perspectives from Rumpy, a pig, to one of her owners, Barley. The book entertains in its own way. There is some action, a bit of adventure, and much light humor. If you are looking for a frivolous piece of light-hearted fiction with a happy ending, feel free to jump in the water. If you are looking for hardcore action and real-life scenarios…this is not for you. Overall, it was enjoyable to read.

[Peggy Huey · Rating 3 out of 5]

Jimmy Buffet pens a humorous tale of a pot-bellied pig and his boy who move to New York and live on the roof of a hotel near Central Park. The story is told from the alternating perspectives of the boy (Barclay), who is quite a little soccer player, and the pig (Rumpy), who is searching for her twin brother. Added to the story is Barclay's twin sister Maple, who wants to be a fashion designer, and Ellie, the children's mother, a creative pastry chef in the hotel. The villain is the chef who resents Ellie's talents and would like to turn Rumpy into an entree. With some help from some unlikely bird friends, the day is saved, lost pigs are found, and the key characters achieve their goals.