Confessions of a Hero-Worshiper

by Stephen J. Dubner

In its review of Turbulent Souls, the New York Times "While it is clearly better for Stephen Dubner if his turbulent soul stays quiet, I think readers of this wonderful book will rather hope that a continued measure of unsettlement inspires him to write more." Now Stephen J. Dubner has returned with the brilliant Confessions of a Hero-Worshiper , a true story that reads like the wisest of novels. Dubner embarks on the kind of search that tantalizes every one of us -- the search for a long-forgotten childhood hero -- and in so doing, plumbs the secrets to his own survival. When he was a boy, Dubner developed a fierce attachment to a football player, Franco Harris, the famed and mysterious running back for the Pittsburgh Steelers. When Dubner's father died, this attachment became an obsession. He dreamed of his hero every night; he signed his school papers "Franco Dubner." Though they never met, it was Franco Harris who shepherded Dubner through a fatherless boyhood. Fast-forward twenty years. Dubner, by now an accomplished writer, happens to catch sight of Harris, now a businessman, on a magazine cover. His long-dormant obsession comes roaring back. He is driven to journey to Pittsburgh and even move there if necessary. He is certain that Harris will embrace him. He is convinced that he will wrest from his old hero the mysteries of the universe. And he is ... well, wrong. Told with the grit of a journalist and the grace of a memoirist, Confessions of a Hero-Worshiper is a breathtaking, heartbreaking, and often humorous story of astonishing developments. It is also a sparkling meditation on the nature of hero worship -- which, like religion and love, tells us as much about ourselves as about the object of our desire. Dubner also manages to discuss the perils of celebrity, the psychology of nudity, and the vast difference between Jewish and Christian ideas about hero worship. Confessions of a Hero-Worshiper is a must-read for anyone who has ever had a hero or wanted one; for anyone who considers football, as the Trappist monk Thomas Merton once wrote, "one of the really valid and deep American rituals"; and especially for those who read about others to find the truth in themselves.

Genres: Nonfiction, Biography, Sports

272 pages, Hardcover

First published January 21, 2003

About the author

Stephen J. Dubner is an award-winning author, journalist, and TV and radio personality. In addition to Freakonomics and SuperFreakonomics, his books include Turbulent Souls Choosing My Religion, Confessions of a Hero-Worshiper, and the children’s book The Boy With Two Belly Buttons. His journalism has been published in The New York Times, The New Yorker, and Time, and has been anthologized in The Best American Sports Writing, The Best American Crime Writing, and elsewhere. He has taught English at Columbia University (while receiving an M.F.A. there), played in a rock band (which started at Appalachian State University, where he was an undergrad, and was later signed to Arista Records), and, as a writer, was first published at the age of 11, in Highlights for Children. He lives in New York with his wife, the documentary photographer Ellen Binder, and their children.

Reviews

[Doug Sullivan · Rating 3 out of 5]

The premise of the book seemed interesting. But the truth of the matter was difficult to digest, as the author courageously bares his hero-worshipping soul. A little weird and obsessive? Oh yeah. But his journey is nonetheless fascinating and full of twists and turns. Worth the read but not without discomfort.

[Meghan]

I thought the premise of this book sounded interesting. How would meeting your childhood idol change you? And what if they turned out to not be the kind of person you had idealized for all those years?

[Steven Clark · Rating 3 out of 5]

Confessions of a Hero-Worshiper is an undeniably interesting, if at times uncomfortable, window into ambition, insecurity, and the psychology of admiration.

Stephen Dubner writes with honesty and vulnerability, qualities that are often essential for great storytelling. There’s no question that strong writers must expose parts of themselves—flaws, obsessions, and all—to create something meaningful. In that sense, this book succeeds. It feels raw, personal, and unfiltered.

However, that same openness occasionally crosses a line. There is a noticeable undercurrent of neediness throughout the narrative that can feel excessive, even unsettling. Dubner’s fixation on certain figures and his desire for validation sometimes come across as more than just earnest admiration—they edge into territory that feels socially unaware and, at times, a bit cringeworthy.

What stands out most is that, despite being in his 30s during these experiences, Dubner doesn’t fully seem to recognize how his behavior might have been perceived by others. That lack of self-awareness adds an awkward tension to the reading experience.

Still, the book is compelling. If nothing else, it offers a brutally honest look at what it means to want something—recognition, connection, success—perhaps a little too much.

[A. Housewife]

I could barely get through this I found it pretty boring. Only read it because one of my friends LOVES it. Chapter 13 was actually pretty great and I was surprised by the fantastic presentation of the pragmatically beautiful Jewish perspective on hero worship. I do love the concept of a person meeting a childhood hero--who actually IS a truly quality person! But who won't give him the relationship he wants--and grappling with hero worship and what we are trying to gain from it.

[Emmett Grogan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this one quite some time ago, but it stuck with me, enough that I recommend this book to anyone interested in a well-crafted memoir, even if you don't know too much about the Pittsburgh Steelers in the 1970s.

Rest in Peace, Franco Harris.

[Greg · Rating 3 out of 5]

A poetic mix of biography, memoir, and what it means to have a hero.

[Cynthia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book from start to finish. Beautifully written and a compelling arc.

[Alec Finch · Rating 2 out of 5]

Given to my by Mrs. Jenkins.

2 stars. I did like this book, but I couldn’t get around my feelings that Dubner felt overly entitled to the attention of his hero. Granted, I never worshiped a “hero” as a kid so I might just not get it, but I found the tone a bit whiny at points. Besides that, it was interesting to learn about Franco Harris and some Steelers history.

[Chi Dubinski · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pittsburgh Steeler Franco Harris was Dudner’s childhood idol. He decided to track down the retired football player to ask his cooperation on a book about the fan-sports star relationship. Dudner was a published author, and convinced Harris to spend a day with him in Pittsburgh. Harris was polite but distant, and the two did not become best buddies instantly, as in Dudner’s long-held fantasy. The author discovered that sometimes reality does not measure up to long-held childhood dreams