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ما لا يقوله الرجال للنساء
يتناول الكتاب - وفق جريدة "اليوم" السعودية - حياة الرجل من المهد إلى اللحد ويبحث في الأسباب التي جعلت نظرتنا إليه يشوبها الكثير من الخطأ وسوء الفهم و من ثم سوء التقدير.
ينشأ الطفل الذكر منذ صغره على الصلابة والجلد وكبت مشاعره وحبس مخاوفه وقلقه وهو ما يدفعنا ويدفعهم إلى مجابهة مواقف صعبة لا قبل له بها منذ سن مبكرة للغاية بدءا من مرحلة الطفولة ومروراً بالمراهقة وحتى سن النضج فالهرم.
إن جهلنا بطبيعة الذكر هو ما زج بالرجل في هذه الهوة العميقة من المعاناة. فهو يحتاج الى كل المساندة والدعم والحب. إن افتراضنا بأن الرجل مكمن القوة والقدرة المطلقة هو ما جعلنا لا نشعر بأن له جوانب ضعف ولحظات انهيار يمكن ان تودي بحياته.
لقد تعلم الرجل منذ صغره كيف يتحمل في صمت ويجابه في جلد ويخفي كل قلقه ومخاوفه وهو ما يجعله عرضة لمواقف وصدمات لا قبل له بها.
وحتى عندما يجابه الرجل بمثل هذه الصدمات فإنه لا يبادر بطلب النصح أو المساعدة حفاظا على الصورة التي نشأ عليها كرجل.
لقد حان وقت تغيير هذا المفهوم الخاطىء واستشعار معاناة الرجل منذ الطفولة وحتى الهرم والسماح له بالإفصاح عن كل ما يجول في نفسه و احتواء مخاوفه وقلقه وبشريته وتشجيعه على المزيد من الاسهام في الجوانب الإنسانية. عندها سوف نقدر الرجولة الحقة ونحتفي بها و نثري بها حياتنا وحاضرنا ومستقبلنا.
ما الذي يتوق اليه الرجل والصبية
ومالذي يطمحون اليه ؟
لماذا يلتزم أغلب الرجال الصمت في المواقف الصعبة ؟
ولماذا يصعب على الكثيرين منهم عن التعبير عن مدى إهتمامهم بمن حولهم ؟
مالذي يبحثون عنه في المرأة؟
مالذي يتوقعون من علاقاتهم الجادة ومن صداقاتهم ؟
مالذي يشعرون به حيال الأطفال ؟
مالذي يزيد قلقهم وكيف ينظرون ألى أجسادهم؟
كيف تبدو الحياة في أعينهم عندما يصلون لمرحلة الشيخوخة ؟
لماذا يقدم الكثير منهم على الإنتحار كملاذ أخير ؟
في كل يوم نقرأ مقالات عن الرجال، الرجال في المنزل، الرجال في العمل، الرجال في الفراش، و لكن تظل التخبطات و الاحباطات بين الجنسين قائمة هل يمكننا أن نعزي الاختلاف بين الرجل والمرأة إلى كوكبي المريخ والزهرة؟ أم هل هناك آليات معقدة يؤول إليها هذا الاختلاف؟ وهل صحيح أن حياة الرجل أسهل بكثير من حياة المرأة، وأن كل الامور سهلة ومتاحة للرجال؟
ينشأ الطفل الذكر منذ صغره على الصلابة والجلد وكبت مشاعره وحبس مخاوفه وقلقه وهو ما يدفعنا ويدفعهم إلى مجابهة مواقف صعبة لا قبل له بها منذ سن مبكرة للغاية بدءا من مرحلة الطفولة ومروراً بالمراهقة وحتى سن النضج فالهرم.
إن جهلنا بطبيعة الذكر هو ما زج بالرجل في هذه الهوة العميقة من المعاناة. فهو يحتاج الى كل المساندة والدعم والحب. إن افتراضنا بأن الرجل مكمن القوة والقدرة المطلقة هو ما جعلنا لا نشعر بأن له جوانب ضعف ولحظات انهيار يمكن ان تودي بحياته.
لقد تعلم الرجل منذ صغره كيف يتحمل في صمت ويجابه في جلد ويخفي كل قلقه ومخاوفه وهو ما يجعله عرضة لمواقف وصدمات لا قبل له بها.
وحتى عندما يجابه الرجل بمثل هذه الصدمات فإنه لا يبادر بطلب النصح أو المساعدة حفاظا على الصورة التي نشأ عليها كرجل.
لقد حان وقت تغيير هذا المفهوم الخاطىء واستشعار معاناة الرجل منذ الطفولة وحتى الهرم والسماح له بالإفصاح عن كل ما يجول في نفسه و احتواء مخاوفه وقلقه وبشريته وتشجيعه على المزيد من الاسهام في الجوانب الإنسانية. عندها سوف نقدر الرجولة الحقة ونحتفي بها و نثري بها حياتنا وحاضرنا ومستقبلنا.
ما الذي يتوق اليه الرجل والصبية
ومالذي يطمحون اليه ؟
لماذا يلتزم أغلب الرجال الصمت في المواقف الصعبة ؟
ولماذا يصعب على الكثيرين منهم عن التعبير عن مدى إهتمامهم بمن حولهم ؟
مالذي يبحثون عنه في المرأة؟
مالذي يتوقعون من علاقاتهم الجادة ومن صداقاتهم ؟
مالذي يشعرون به حيال الأطفال ؟
مالذي يزيد قلقهم وكيف ينظرون ألى أجسادهم؟
كيف تبدو الحياة في أعينهم عندما يصلون لمرحلة الشيخوخة ؟
لماذا يقدم الكثير منهم على الإنتحار كملاذ أخير ؟
في كل يوم نقرأ مقالات عن الرجال، الرجال في المنزل، الرجال في العمل، الرجال في الفراش، و لكن تظل التخبطات و الاحباطات بين الجنسين قائمة هل يمكننا أن نعزي الاختلاف بين الرجل والمرأة إلى كوكبي المريخ والزهرة؟ أم هل هناك آليات معقدة يؤول إليها هذا الاختلاف؟ وهل صحيح أن حياة الرجل أسهل بكثير من حياة المرأة، وأن كل الامور سهلة ومتاحة للرجال؟
373 pages
First published January 8, 2007
49 people are currently reading
1020 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews
October 5, 2009
عرفت شيئا يسيرا عن عالم الرجال.كنت أجهله..
رغم وجهة نظري في أن هذة الكتب لاتلامس واقعنا بدقة..
لإن الأمثلة والقصص كلها طبعا من بيئة المؤلفة وهي طبعا بعيدة كل البعد عن مجتمعنا..
وهذا يؤدي أحيانا لصعوبة تطبيق بعض الخطوات العملية الواردة في مثل هذه الكتب
ولكن يظل كتاب جيد خاصة لبعض الفتيات اللواتي أعرف بعضهن ممن ينظرن للجنس الأخر فقط انه ظالم ومستبد وخالي من المشاعر..سيغير من نظرتهن..
رغم وجهة نظري في أن هذة الكتب لاتلامس واقعنا بدقة..
لإن الأمثلة والقصص كلها طبعا من بيئة المؤلفة وهي طبعا بعيدة كل البعد عن مجتمعنا..
وهذا يؤدي أحيانا لصعوبة تطبيق بعض الخطوات العملية الواردة في مثل هذه الكتب
ولكن يظل كتاب جيد خاصة لبعض الفتيات اللواتي أعرف بعضهن ممن ينظرن للجنس الأخر فقط انه ظالم ومستبد وخالي من المشاعر..سيغير من نظرتهن..
Currently reading
March 29, 2011كان الكتاب لإحداهن وبدافع الفضول قرأته وتعجبت ! ، أحتاج لمتبرع من الرجال لقراءته ليخبرني بالمفارقه بين الرجل المذكور في الكتاب وبين الرجل الشرقي
=P
=P
February 1, 2016
What I enjoyed most about this book are the anecdotes from the men the author interviewed.
After 30 pages in, I was increasingly frustrated because it felt as though the author was trying very hard to turn me into a sympathizer of males. The writing seemed somewhat bias and I kept thinking, "so what, women have to deal with that as well". And then I realized.. That's the point!
We all have to go through the phases of life - childhood, adolescence, adulthood and elderhood. Males and females alike experience the different pressures from being a child to being an adult. Sometimes we forget because society perpetuates these gender stereotypes so it's important to be reminded that we all have feelings. And, your feelings matter regardless of your gender.
If you're a boy and you're being bullied. Don't feel you have to be strong and deal with it alone because you're not. Girls, before you tease a boy - remember that he also feels embarrassment, pain and loneliness. One day that boy will become a man and how he's treated as a boy will leave a mark so let's make it a positive one.
After 30 pages in, I was increasingly frustrated because it felt as though the author was trying very hard to turn me into a sympathizer of males. The writing seemed somewhat bias and I kept thinking, "so what, women have to deal with that as well". And then I realized.. That's the point!
We all have to go through the phases of life - childhood, adolescence, adulthood and elderhood. Males and females alike experience the different pressures from being a child to being an adult. Sometimes we forget because society perpetuates these gender stereotypes so it's important to be reminded that we all have feelings. And, your feelings matter regardless of your gender.
If you're a boy and you're being bullied. Don't feel you have to be strong and deal with it alone because you're not. Girls, before you tease a boy - remember that he also feels embarrassment, pain and loneliness. One day that boy will become a man and how he's treated as a boy will leave a mark so let's make it a positive one.
March 9, 2015
تحميل كتاب ما لا يقوله الرجال للنساء لـ ماغي هاميلتون من هذا الرابط
http://goo.gl/GbciL5
http://goo.gl/GbciL5
September 3, 2022
For a moment at the start, it seemed good.
But it is showing it's 10-12 years of age, and it's lack of inclusiveness for LGBTIQA+ was sad.
But it is showing it's 10-12 years of age, and it's lack of inclusiveness for LGBTIQA+ was sad.
November 7, 2025
4.5
Really incredible. Done with such tenderness without being 'woe is me'.
The best books change your perspective on things, and this is one of them for me.
Really incredible. Done with such tenderness without being 'woe is me'.
The best books change your perspective on things, and this is one of them for me.
November 6, 2024
Water is wet.
January 30, 2021
I found this book at lifeline for $2 and thought why not? I didn't expect too much but honestly this book has given me a lot to think about. As a daughter, a partner, a mother to a young son, and a sister to 4 brothers I found so much in this book just really hit home for me.
This book touches on issues for boys and men pretty much from the time they are born right through to retirement and becoming elderly. It has small snippets and stories from various men at different stages of life throughout, which I thought was a great addition. Some of the many topics covered included: the way we raise boys, relationships with parents, schooling, bullying, suicide, masculinity, relationships with women, becoming a father, divorce, retirement and ageing.
There's so much in this book to think about and process and I've dog-eared some pages to come back to (and I hate dog-earing pages so that's saying something). It's a book I will lend to friends and no doubt return to as my son goes through life's ups and downs and my male family members and friends age.
What men don't talk about was published in 2007 so although times have changed technology wise (for better or worse) the issues are still the same.
This book touches on issues for boys and men pretty much from the time they are born right through to retirement and becoming elderly. It has small snippets and stories from various men at different stages of life throughout, which I thought was a great addition. Some of the many topics covered included: the way we raise boys, relationships with parents, schooling, bullying, suicide, masculinity, relationships with women, becoming a father, divorce, retirement and ageing.
There's so much in this book to think about and process and I've dog-eared some pages to come back to (and I hate dog-earing pages so that's saying something). It's a book I will lend to friends and no doubt return to as my son goes through life's ups and downs and my male family members and friends age.
What men don't talk about was published in 2007 so although times have changed technology wise (for better or worse) the issues are still the same.
September 13, 2014
ملخص هذا الكتاب: الرجال أيضًا يعانون!
يسلط الكتاب الضوء على حياة الرجل وتركيبته النفسية، منذ كونه جنينًا وحتى يشيب.
مليء بالمعلومات والحقائق، مبني على دراسات وبحث وحوارات.
يذكر بعض المشاكل التي تواجه الرجل والنظرة السائدة له، لا يقدم حلولًا جاهزة لأن الخطوة الأولى لحل المشكلة هو فهمها وهو ما تفعله بقراءتك للكتاب.
يستحق القراءة :)
يسلط الكتاب الضوء على حياة الرجل وتركيبته النفسية، منذ كونه جنينًا وحتى يشيب.
مليء بالمعلومات والحقائق، مبني على دراسات وبحث وحوارات.
يذكر بعض المشاكل التي تواجه الرجل والنظرة السائدة له، لا يقدم حلولًا جاهزة لأن الخطوة الأولى لحل المشكلة هو فهمها وهو ما تفعله بقراءتك للكتاب.
يستحق القراءة :)
August 19, 2011
A fantasic book every woman needs to read. It gave me a better udnerstanding of what makes men tick, what goes on in their minds, how they feel about things. That they may have a hard shell, but need love just as much as we women do. It also gave me much more compassion for divorced men, who often through little fault of their own get the really raaw end of the stick and get taken to the brink of emotional breakdown and financial ruin. I found out so much about men, it increased my appreciation of the men in my life 100 fold. True understanding of our differences and similarities will help us all to improve our relationships. This book is of real help in this quest.
January 9, 2012
رهيب جداً هالكتاب ..مشّوق..ممتع
July 7, 2021
This book was utterly bizarre. On one hand I agree with much of what the author was saying, but overall it left a very pitying and stereotype reinforcing feeling. Yes, men are often raised in a certain way due to cultural tendencies, but all of the examples given are really mostly western countries issues. It felt like one qualitative study with select participants written into a popular book. It really lacked the evidence outside of the couple of quotes to make any solid points. Anecdotal data is not enough to say that men carry all the financial responsibility for the family and women want to stay home and look after the kids.
Many points also are equally applicable to both men and women and are rather about prejudice and assumptions, eg that the parent wants to spend time with children but due to financial reasons is often at work. I completely did not understand some aspects, eg people looking odd at father playing with his baby/toddler instead of mother. Really?? Is the prejudice that high in Australia that only children with female guardians are considered normal??
So overall I found this without foundation and in a way a compete opposite to the Invisible Woman book, which actually shows inequalities with solid data.
But, I do agree that boys and girls should receive more similar upbringing regarding nurturing and enforcing no gendered behaviour.
Many points also are equally applicable to both men and women and are rather about prejudice and assumptions, eg that the parent wants to spend time with children but due to financial reasons is often at work. I completely did not understand some aspects, eg people looking odd at father playing with his baby/toddler instead of mother. Really?? Is the prejudice that high in Australia that only children with female guardians are considered normal??
So overall I found this without foundation and in a way a compete opposite to the Invisible Woman book, which actually shows inequalities with solid data.
But, I do agree that boys and girls should receive more similar upbringing regarding nurturing and enforcing no gendered behaviour.
November 20, 2024
This just makes me sad and it makes me realise just how sexist people can be towards men. The men in my family have always been open about their feelings, but thinking back it wasn’t often they shared those feelings with male family members, it was always female family members - proving this book right. Men struggle to open up to other men.
We look down on India and the Middle East for so many things, but the sense of community their men have is one thing they got right. I think it’s only going to get worse for the Western men, because less and less have hobbies that bring them together, all they do is go to work or stay home, if the do go out it always ends with alcohol and that is not health.
We look down on India and the Middle East for so many things, but the sense of community their men have is one thing they got right. I think it’s only going to get worse for the Western men, because less and less have hobbies that bring them together, all they do is go to work or stay home, if the do go out it always ends with alcohol and that is not health.
March 31, 2022
Many points mentioned are applicable to both men and women.. what they look in a relationship, domestic violence, career wise, PTSD etc. Good research mentioned from various sources plus 100 of interviews from boys n men.
It doesn’t say “how parents should raise a boy differently to current or earlier times”
It doesn’t say “how parents should raise a boy differently to current or earlier times”
January 22, 2025
Zzz zzz zzz
January 25, 2025
Struggled through
November 18, 2025
Bits of it were interesting but overall it wasn’t for me
March 24, 2009
This audio book was an inside look into....well... What Men Don't Talk About! and why they don't talk about it.
It was written and read by an Australian so to just listen to it was quite enjoyable for me but I did learn a thing or two along the way. The author conducted many interviews with a lot of different types of men. Some of the stories they told went from sad to downright horrifying. I did find myself shaking my head several times thinking how something I heard made a lot of sense in regards to the men in my life.
Being a woman that gets really frustrated with men and almost everyone else that isn't good at communicating, I really appreciated this book. Many of the ideas in it related to most people we come into contact with that can't always "share" themselves.
I could see me listening to this again in a few years when some of the ideas lose their shine.
It was written and read by an Australian so to just listen to it was quite enjoyable for me but I did learn a thing or two along the way. The author conducted many interviews with a lot of different types of men. Some of the stories they told went from sad to downright horrifying. I did find myself shaking my head several times thinking how something I heard made a lot of sense in regards to the men in my life.
Being a woman that gets really frustrated with men and almost everyone else that isn't good at communicating, I really appreciated this book. Many of the ideas in it related to most people we come into contact with that can't always "share" themselves.
I could see me listening to this again in a few years when some of the ideas lose their shine.
February 28, 2015
كتاب اكثر من رائع من اهم واروع الكتاب التي حظيت بها ... كتب بطريقة البحث العلمي البحث المفصل الدقيق الذي يعرض الخقائق دون تشويه .... كتاب ياسر الالباب .. لقد صحبتني الكاتبة برحلة كل انثى بخاجة لها في عالم الرجال هناك الكثير من الافكار المغلوطة التي كانت لدي هناك كثير من الحقائق التي اكتشفتها .... اتمنى ان يدرس هذا الكتاب في الجامعات كتاب فعلا يستحق .....
August 18, 2020
My family emigrated when I was 4yo, leaving behind my grandfather, uncles and cousins. My father died when I was 12. Consequently I had little contact with men growing up and they used to seem like aliens to me. This book offered great insights and I wish I had read it years ago.
February 12, 2008
so bad ...
Read
November 4, 2016ff
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Read
August 18, 2016;;;
September 4, 2019
Very well researched view into men's lives from childhood to old age. I learnt a lot from this book about men's issues and it has made me more sensitive to men in my life.
June 24, 2012
helpful book,makes women reconsider how to treat men.
April 28, 2015
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Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews