The Birth That's Right For You: A Doctor and a Doula Help You Choose and Customize the Best Birth Option to Fit Your Needs

by Amen Ness

Have the birth that’s right for you—not your mother, your sister or your best friend.

Dr. Amen Ness, doula Lisa Gould Rubin and mom Jackie Frederick-Berner believe that when it comes to the ideal birth method, there’s really only one best expert: YOU. The Birth That's Right for You helps you custom-tailor your birth experience by having you reflect on:

•The way you imagine giving birth
•How you cope with pain
•What you need to feel safe and secure

Based on your answers, you will be able to create an approach that will meet your needs whether you get the epidural, chant your way to delivery in a birthing pool, take a wait and see approach to medication, or any combination in between.

In The Birth That's Right for You, you will learn how to:

•Match yourself up to the coping strategies that best fit you
•Take a realistic look at your expectations and let go of everyone else's
•Assemble a labor and delivery team that supports what you want for yourself

Genres: Nonfiction, Parenting

224 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2005

Reviews

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

I appreciated this book because it didn't take sides. It didn't go to extremes like so many parenting books do today ("if you choose anything other than x for your baby, it makes you a bad parent").

In fact, many might disagree with the authors because they go to such lengths not to make a stand on what is "best" on any of the issues they discuss. Home births versus hospital births, doctors versus midwives, epidurals versus medication-free, vaginal births versus c-sections - for each topic, the authors explained some of the benefits and drawbacks of each position, and then encouraged the reader to choose what best fit her personality and her lifestyle. They offer the much-needed encouragement that the best birth experience will be the one that best fits your needs (within reason, of course), that you are your own best adviser on what is best for you.

That said, they don't go into a huge amount of detail on any of the decisions - you may want to read other books to supplement this one if you really want to know more about some of the options they discuss. And I think, at times, they go too far with the "do what's best for you" mantra. While I think that it's an important message, it is also important to consider what might be best and healthiest for your baby, and that can sometimes be lost in what can, at times, feel like a narcissistic focus on what is best for the woman.

Still, in today's internet age, a new mom-to-be can feel overwhelmed with all of the voices telling her what the best/only way to go about the birth process is. This book is a welcome reminder that there is no one right way to go about giving birth (or, indeed, parenting).

[Solana Romero · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would highly recommend this book for any new parents-to-be. I felt as though the author(s) were sitting across from me and speaking themselves while reading. I love how detailed it is and that there are so many tips and checklists provided right in the text. For anyone who knows how hard it is to put yourself first for once, this book is great for letting you know that it's okay to make sure you're okay, especially during your pregnancy and delivery.

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book seems to be a needed addition to the birthing books out there. It certainly reinforced the choices I've made (and I think it would for anyone who has an idea of what they want to do no matter where on the spectrum), but I think it's made for the person who is torn between options to choose the one that's truer to herself. Wish I knew about the book when I was trying to advise my best friend. Basically it gives you the okay no matter what you want to do, but it does give some things to think about. Towards the end I was starting to think it was a cop out, but overall I think it makes some good points.

[Jody · Rating 5 out of 5]

The recurring message in the book is that YOU are the one who is best able to make birthing choices for yourself. I like that the authors don't push one method over another. This book reminds you that during labor, you will still be you--only in a more heightened state--so go with options that fit the type of person you (already) are. Good over-view of options and choices to think about ahead of time.

[Inder · Rating 2 out of 5]

While I really like the laid back attitude of this book, it's almost too flexible. Flexible to the point of resisting dispensing any kind of advice. Leaving me wondering why I bothered reading it, honestly. If you're feeling weighed down and intimidated by the judginess and dogmatic advice of various childbirthing "methods," this book is good for reminding you that there is no "right" way to give birth. But if you want actual advice or ideas, look elsewhere.

[Coleen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is my favorite pregnancy/labor/delivery book I've read. Mostly because it was unbiased! Every other book has strong or subtle opinoins of natural,medicated, home birth, hospital birth, etc. This one was very open and unassuming in a large number of ideas. The main idea is that it's YOUR birth, so do it YOUR way. Whatever feels natural and normal to YOU. You don't have to change. From what I can tell it gives great information on the whole spectrum too.

[Cari · Rating 4 out of 5]

good for control freaks like myself who need reminding that the birth will happen how it happens, a wish list is more realistic than a birth plan. also encourages doing what feels right for you without guilt, not doing what everyone tells you to do.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really loved this book. It had a no judgment approach to childbirth choices and reinforced that who you are will inform how you approach and relax during birth. I highly recommend this to women who want to feel good about their birth choice (and may be facing opposition from friends, family and physicians.

[Annie · Rating 5 out of 5]

this is the book to read if you're not quite sure on what sort of birth you are wanting. epidural? all natural? this book has a short little quiz to point out which tactics through labor might work the best for you. this was how i found hypnobirthing.

[Kris · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked the message of this book, which is to think about works for you generally and how that might apply to the birth. It could pretty much work as a pamphlet though, because that was the most useful part.

[Natalie Churney · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book. It answered all of my questions as a first time mom about my choices and different scenarios of what will happen during labor/delivery. I have not given birth yet but this book has given me the knowledge to feel more comfortable when I go into labor.

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a good read for the expectant mother or father - it is nice to read a book about birth that doesn't have an agenda. This is a good prep read to understand the basics of labor and what to expect from the process.

[Danica Midlil · Rating 3 out of 5]

Got through about 70% and then just fizzled out. What I read was very good and helpful.