The Male Factor: The Unwritten Rules, Misperceptions, and Secret Beliefs of Men in the Workplace

by Shaunti Feldhahn

Millions of women gained eye-opening insights about the inner lives of men through Shaunti Feldhahn’s best-selling book For Women Only . Now with this faith-based edition of The Male Factor , Feldhahn brings her innovative research approach to the workplace to help women understand their male colleagues. In this Christian edition, Feldhahn speaks directly to the interests and questions of women of faith, whether their workplace is a part-time ministry or a Fortune 500 corporation. This version of The Male Factor also delivers invaluable advice from senior Christian women who have broad experience in dealing with these questions, understand and share the reader’s values, and want to help other women achieve the best possible work relationships.
 
Even women who have navigated male-dominated work environments for years have expressed surprise at the revelations in this book. Some readers may find them challenging. Yet The Male Factor delivers a one-of-a-kind opportunity for women to understand how male bosses, colleagues, subordinates, customers and ministry partners privately think, and why they react the way they do. These vital insights enable each woman to make informed decisions in her unique workplace situation.

Genres: Nonfiction, Business, Communication, Business Leadership, Psychology, Relationships, Book Club

336 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2009

About the author

Shaunti received her graduate degree from Harvard University and was an analyst on Wall Street before unexpectedly becoming a social researcher, best-selling author and popular speaker. Today, she applies her analytical skills to investigating eye-opening, life-changing truths about relationships, both at home and in the workplace. Her groundbreaking research-based books, such as For Women Only, have sold more than 2 million copies in 23 languages and are widely read in homes, counseling centers and corporations worldwide.

Her newest book, The Kindness Challenge, is catalyzing a movement of kindness across the country and beyond. Dozens of prominent organizations and leaders are coming together to do The 30-Day Kindness Challenge, and encourage their followers to do the same.

Shaunti’s findings are regularly featured in media as diverse as The Today Show and Focus on the Family, The New York Times and Cosmo. She (often with her husband, Jeff) speaks at 50 events a year around the world. Shaunti and her husband Jeff live in Atlanta with their teenage daughter and son, and two cats who think they are dogs.

Reviews

[Amy · Rating 2 out of 5]

The sweet older woman who suggested this book to me couched it in the following terms: "You will learn all sorts of important things, like about how sensitive men can be. They don't like it if they feel a woman is smarter than them."
And I am pleased to report that this book does not, even by a stretch of the imagination, say to play dumb.
It did, however, give a plenty of of advice that left me eye-rolling. Like, don't put on lipstick at work. It distracts a man from "work world" and makes him think of "personal world." He won't be as productive and as a consequence, be irritated because his primary identity is in Getting Things Done.
Oooookaaaayyy.
For the most part, though, it wasn't the advice in this book that annoyed me, just the way it was presented. Some of the "insights" are fairly popular pop-knowledge—the whole men have waffle brains, women have spaghetti type thing.
But a lot of the things that "annoy" men come down to basic professionalism.
It isn't professional to sigh irritably when someone is talking.
It isn't professional to gossip about a problem instead of dealing with it directly.
It isn't professional to shut down and refuse to contribute in a meeting because people are criticizing your opinions.
None of those things are inherently part of how women communicate or operate. And to treat them as a "men v. women" type thing in the workforce seriously irritated me. Be self-aware. Be mature. Use common-sense. In other words, be an adult and do your job. There is nothing about this advice that takes pandering to some male expectation.
The only grace I can give this book is that I do think it was written for an older generation—maybe not the first generation of women in the workplace, but one where it wasn't as common. When women were not socialized or necessarily expected to enter the workplace. I am sure this was quite helpful to the well-meaning individual who recommended it to me. But mostly I think I am going to happily forget this one as soon as possible.

[Katherine B. · Rating 1 out of 5]

I apologize in advance for my ranting as it's going to probably feel very disjointed. I wrote most of this review while reading the book. Basically, I'd throw in a paragraph here and there when I heard it so I could make sure to get the information down as accurately as possible.

I’m going to start this review by saying that some of the research in this book was interesting, and I won’t say I hated all of it. However, that said, most of this information leans towards women needing to change themselves to do well in the workplace, while men do not. Though she also said that women don’t need to change, they need to be themselves. But we have to work the way men work or they won’t respect us. So we’ve reached a Catch-22.

I did like some of the research she did about how men's and women's brains are different. While none of this is groundbreaking information, the psychology was interesting to hear again. If this book had just been about the different processing methods between men and women’s brains, I would’ve really enjoyed it! Instead, we ended up with a preachy book about how women need to adjust in the workplace to not step on men’s toes.

I would just like to say that I feel slightly gaslighted by this author. She started the book out with stories of how women who disliked her research weren't going to get anywhere in business because they refused to set aside their feelings and adapt. “We wanted you to do this training specifically for her! She’s shooting herself in the foot because she refuses to listen.” Stop preaching and maybe explain to the guys what they need to do to help us understand. Not just reply to an anonymous survey explaining how women aren’t fitting into their perfect, male-centered world.

This book relies heavily on stereotyping men and women. Men compartmentalize, women multitask. Men view their "work world" and "home world" as different places, women don't (whaaa???). Men have some serious imposter syndrome going on, women don't (again, whaaa? I'm double-checking to make sure I've not been lying to everyone about being a woman). Men must show respect to their coworkers, women don't understand that (what the heck is this?). Men have unspoken rules about the workplace environment, and women just don't get it. Also, because I can't get over this, I'm going to mention it. Women applying lipstick at their desks can pull men out of "work world," so we shouldn't do that. How ridiculous.

Fun fact: Did you know that you should act professional in the workplace? I have NO IDEA at all. What a mind-blowing thought. Apparently, we shouldn't sigh in exasperation, roll our eyes, or cross our arms when someone annoys us at work. I can't believe that I'm being expected to be professional and respectful of other people at work!

"It's just business." I absolutely HATE the way that this is described. Men: "I'm in my work world. This has nothing to do with life outside work." Women: "I know this sucks, but this has to be done." They are basically the same thing. Women, do you think of your personal life and your work life as the same world? This might just be the INTJ, unemotional side of me, but work and home life are very different. Does this make me a man? Not at all. I spoke to my housemate, and she agrees that she does the same thing. Work and home are separate. In fact, my dad is worse at keeping his home and work life separate than my mom, my housemate, and me!

She then mentioned later on how men are always under pressure because they feel like their "work world" will fall apart if they relax at all, or if something (like a woman's emotions) takes up time they could be working. I'll give her that. I've seen my dad and brothers all behave like that. But that contradicts the "work world" "home world" theory! If men are always thinking about work, even at home, then are they really separating the two? This ties back to my statement where I sad my dad was worse at keeping his home and work life separated than multiple women. He is constantly thinking about work. He constantly makes comments about "today we did this, tomorrow, I'll need to get this done. I have a lot of stuff to do." Meanwhile, Friday evening at five, I shut down my computer and think "Well, anything that's left to do, I'll take care of it Monday. Time to spend the weekend with my housemates and family" and don't usually think about it until Monday unless someone else brings it up.

I’m not going to complain too much about the chapter on women’s clothing. Wait, actually, I am going to. I think it was rather extreme, and I don’t think that we should be forced to wear clothing we don’t like or find boring just because a man can’t control himself well. That said, wearing clothes that are professional is probably a good idea. That also being said, if a woman happens to show her figure, she’s apparently being immodest and “asking for it.” If she wears loose clothes that don’t show her figure, she’s hiding something and doesn’t care about herself. So again, there is no making men happy. Which really seems to be what men are saying in these surveys. “You’re good. Keep doing what you’re doing. But you should change all these things so you fit in with our world. But don’t you dare change yourself or we will respect you less!”

Oh, and we can’t forget her chapter on emotion in the workplace! One of the men said that he'd been in that profession for 25 years and that while he'd had many women crying in his office, he'd never had a single man. Did he think about the fact that it's probably because men aren't ALLOWED to feel emotion? A man who is in touch with his emotions is mocked for being "feminine" or is called gay. She states multiple times that men who are seen as "breaking" the unspoken man rules are judged more harshly. Put two and two together, men! Many of the men I've known are more emotional than me. They're more likely to take things personally or to be unable to laugh a slight off. Yet we as women are seen as much more emotional.

If women being seen as emotional are a problem, then why don’t we explain to men how we are able to think while being emotional (as opposed to the men, according to the research this author has)? I’m not an emotional person. I’m not likely to be crying at work unless something major has happened. Heck, I’m not even likely to cry in front of people at home. But why must WE force ourselves to withhold a part of ourselves because it makes men uncomfortable?

Oh, and did you know that all men are neurodivergent! Men hyperfocus! I've totally NEVER done that. I definitely don't hyper-fixate on things that need to get done, and then feel lost when I get pulled out of it. Definitely not. I’m not doing that right now as I write this review. Because I'm a woman. I can't do that. I couldn’t have struggled with any of that throughout my entire life, because I’m not a man. I’m pretty sure. I’m becoming less and less sure as I read this book.

I'm going to just put this out there, but if men and women think differently (which they do. That’s a fact), why don't these men who think it is so necessary for women to understand how they are "sabotaging" themselves just TALK to the women about how they need to adapt? The author pointed out several instances where they explain to women the disconnect, and the problem was usually solved! COMMUNICATION is key. Don't depend on this author to fix the problem. Talk to the women about your problems. Do not look to others to fix the problems that you could spend so much time discussing with this author. TALK TO THE PEOPLE YOU ARE HAVING PROBLEMS WITH. Maybe then there will be less "broken glass." But, of course, this book is going to solve ALL the problems women have in the workforce, so men don’t need to do anything.

This book sounds like it's taking all the bad behaviors from the men and saying "this is okay, just because this is the way he is. Women, you're the ones who have to change and adapt, not the men. Because they're men and they're not responsible for your work method." Apparently, the men's fragile egos need to be pandered to by the women as opposed to men learning to work with women. I don't believe every man is sexist and I do think some of these men genuinely want to help women in the workplace... BUT… You won't find a book like this written for MEN explaining how women think and that they need to learn how to communicate with women. Nope. We’re just complete and utter mysteries.

I'm a little ashamed of the woman who thought she would write a book of men mansplaining their egos and thought processes. Maybe she should use her research to explain to the men that they need to also help if anything is going to improve between the sexes at work.

[Katherine Fink · Rating 3 out of 5]

I came upon this book sorting by “random” on the list of audiobooks available with my library card. Having had many discussions in the past few months about the obvious yet nebulous differences between men and women, I was immediately interested by the book’s premise (and by my anger at it). Feldham’s claim that “even the most astute women'' are sabotaging themselves in the workplace because they misunderstand how men are perceiving them reeked of a double standard (no mention of how men are misperceiving them in the first place?). But, it also nagged at me in the infuriating way something does when you think it might be right despite your best efforts at hoping it’s not. And so in my continuous effort to consume media that angers me, I decided to be charitable with Shauti and take a holistic approach to reading the book.

Writing style and verbosity aside, 90% of this books falls into one of these categories:
1. General business advice that should apply to everyone
2. How proud she is about how good her surveys were and how many men took them
3. Excuses for bad managing / professional behavior from men while not-so-subtly telling women to change their themselves to fit into what the men wanted.

At the end of the day, I feel that the information in this book that’s worth repeating could have been written with minimal mention of gender (and certainly with fewer sweeping generalizations). Further, we could probably distill it to this one sentence: Communicate often with your boss/team/employees about how to best work with each other, and be professional at work.

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Wish I could give half stars.

Well intentioned, some interesting insights, but terrible science, and some bad advice.

[Debbie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think the women who will most benefit from this book are those who were moving up in a company but now feel like they've hit the "glass ceiling"--they're being passed over for promotion or leadership responsibilities or are feeling like their input is being deliberately ignored. The information in the book can help them understand how their actions may be perceived by their co-workers (and not always just by men) and what they can do to fix the situation.

Unlike her previous books, very few survey questions were actually shown (the exact question with the results), which disappointed me. Instead, especially in the first half of the book, each chapter was mostly references to problems she heard mentioned frequently by men and the real life examples they gave to illustrate the point. Shaunti usually tied this in to how men are geared differently than women and thus behaved differently in the workplace--or were at a loss of how to deal with women who act differently in the workplace. At the end of each chapter, she gave excellent and do-able advice on how to deal correctly with those situations.

I have the Christian edition, and I really enjoyed chapter 12, the "Counsel from Experienced Christian Women." I also thought that chapter 10 had information that all women, working or not, would benefit from reading.

However, I found some sections and chapters--especially in the first third of the book--more confusing than enlightening. Often the issues raised weren't really male-female differences, and I'd agree that the behavior in the example wasn't appropriate work behavior (for men or women). Other times I was ticked at the guys because the woman in the example picked up on something "because she was female" but lacked experience in dealing correctly with the situation. If trained how to do it correctly or allowed to learn from the experience, she would have become a real asset in the same situation in the future. Yet the men assumed that the mistake was also inherently "because she was a female" and gave up on her instead.

These sections left me feeling frustrated and depressed. Why? Because I didn't feel like this book was intended for or could be used to open dialogue and clear up misunderstandings in the workplace. The book was intended to help women change their behavior (if they choose) to avoid triggering these misconceptions.

So, as I said, I think "The Male" Factor would definitely be helpful to women who are "stuck" on the corporate ladder. Women who work in a male-dominated job and who want to learn how to get along better with the men at work will also find the book useful.

I received this book as a review copy from the publisher.

[Claire · Rating 2 out of 5]

I feel like this book may have been more relevant in the US market and when it came out, it's now alomst 15years old. The sections on how men are driven by a primal fear of not being able to provide seems to me to be more of an issue in the US culture with no real employment protection. It's not something that I feel informs the way that my colleagues work and my husband definitely doesn't feel this (in Germany). Also the parts with flexitime / facetime are slightly outdated especially since the advent of dominant working from home. Also in the German culture both men and woman typically have flexitime as standard, at least in office-type jobs. Lastly the examples seemed to be from high-powered environments and/or in sales environments, where everything always needs to be done ASAP. It made me feel that if peopple had more realistic plans then work life would be more pleasant for everyone!
Some sections felt confusing, e.g. men operate differently at work and woman should learn to take things less perosnally, but later men's egos are very fragile and woman shouldn't be too critical.
Whilst the author claims not to be telling woman to change their behaviour essentially the message that came thorugh was that they do. Also the men were quoted as saying if woman are competent it's enough, but actually it's not, because they should be careful not to ruffle the men's egos and feelings. But they should also not "become" men. SO it feels like actually woman should bring all the advantages that they have as woman to the table, but be careful to package it so that it still fits into the men's worldview which is really quite frustrating.
Lastly I found the larger printed quotes in the text annoying, they were just repeating text that was one sentence before.

[Hilary · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a woman in business who works with lots of men at various levels - including executive levels - I found some useful nuggets of information that I can apply to my life.

As a feminist, I found myself getting frustrated with a need to change myself to make men comfortable. However, the author was very clear that her goal was simply to provide insight to the male thought process. She was not supporting the male perspective nor was she saying women need to change to make men comfortable. She was trying to help women understand how their actions may affect their progress in a male dominated world.

I would recommend this book to women who have: 1- been in business long enough to know how they are most successful as an individual woman AND 2-have encountered struggles with male coworkers that they don’t understand. There is a lot of great insight in this book but it could cause younger female professionals to place too much focus on what their male coworkers think as opposed to understanding themselves and being successful as a unique contributor.

[Meg · Rating 3 out of 5]

there are some interesting insights in this book but there is also a lot of pages trying to calm the reader down about them as well which I found unnecessary.

One thing I found especially interesting is the whole "cleavage part" -- the language used by savvy business men sounded identical to the language you often hear spoken about rape situations "she was asking for it" or "she knew what she was doing". Serious pause for a Venus/mars moment.

[Sadie Boyer · Rating 3 out of 5]

The author makes some good points, but many are obvious. Summary - Men created the business world and thrive better in managerial positions that women.

[Evie Shaffer · Rating 4 out of 5]

I laughed a lot during this book, mostly because all the things that men said were issues with women, I've personally experienced most of those same issues with men. There are a lot of viewpoints in here I just don't agree with. And that's ok, because she is reporting what men think and feel, so in that way it is eye-opening.

"If you hurt a man's ego in the workplace, you will be viewed as a negative presence."
Women in the workplace have come a long way, and there is still a long way to go. I don't want to feel like I have to coddle men's feelings, or make sure that I don't hurt their ego. I think we can build a better resilience in our culture so men aren't so affected by women speaking up and being assertive at work.

I thought the science about the difference between men's vs women's brains made this worth the read. Overall, I am glad I read it, but be prepared for some outdated views.

[Jacqueline · Rating 4 out of 5]

Recommendation- do not discuss this book with your husband! Feldhahn shares a lot of insights from her research with men in the business world, about how the little things that women do and say, and yes, even how we dress, are perceived by men. She’s not saying that ALL men think this way, or even that the perceptions cannot be overcome. But if you are a woman working in a professional environment, reading this book might inspire you to present yourself in a slightly different way to be even more effective and respected in the workplace. It’s got a lot of quotes from the men who participated in the research, and I absolutely found some of the tips useful to implement immediately with great results.

[Jennifer Pohlhaus · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was spot on and because of that, it was extremely frustrating. I found myself getting aggravated and complaining to the person who recommended this to me about how irritating it was. Another woman who I recommended this book to has been doing the same to me. Reading this has changed my view on how I and other women are perceived in the workplace and I am making adjustments to how I communicate and interact with others to counteract and/or utilize these (mis)perceptions.

[Amanda Kotchon · Rating 2 out of 5]

Someone else has already said it better, but this felt dated. Kind of like second wave feminism versus third or fourth wave. It had a place where it was helpful and new information, and hopefully the workplaces (even male-dominated) most readers are in, are different.

[Deborah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is so relevant and necessary for today's women of authority and influence. I highly recommend it. It is a fun read even though it is steeped in research.

[Keiki Hendrix · Rating 5 out of 5]

Women who work outside their homes or women who work with even one male coworker would do well to read Shaunti Feldhahn `The Male Factor: The Unwritten Rules, Misperceptions, and Secret Beliefs of Men in the Workplace.'

Why? Because is fundamental career research. Because some of your perceptions of life in the working world may need to be adjusted. Or, because the research found in this book and the advice offered could advance the cause of women in the workplace by untold measures.

The The Male Factor provides women results of an eight year study into men's view of women in the workplace and the marketplace. Truthfully, men and women are different but this has no bearing on equality.

Reading research on what men really think about the women they work with is as important as knowing a prospective client personality, interests, and goals prior to your initial meeting with a make or break client.

It goes beyond the personality classifications, these are hardwired differences silently residing in every man's DNA and to ignore that fact is to view it from a purely feminist approach (which is what the majority of women tend to do) is tantamount to spitting in the wind for the good that does you.

This kind of information can have a direct bearing on your future, your career, and ultimately your pay. These twelve chapters cause the reader to become aware that:
-It does matter if your emotions govern your personality. (Ch. 5)
-It does matter what you think, so keep that chip off your shoulder. (Ch. 7)
-It does matter what you choose as your dress code. (Ch. 10)
-It does matter that you get to the point. (Ch. 11)

I have great respect for Shaunti Feldhahn's work. I've read her fiction and non-fiction books. This is a handbook of collected feedback that a woman can use to first become aware of how she is perceived and to adjust her lifestyle and manage, and perhaps, reduce potential conflicts.

Read this research material and understand your coworker's in an entirely different way.

To a add a personal note, my favorite part of the book was Chapter 12 - Putting it in Perspective: Counsel from Experienced Christian Women because it offered great tips from Christian women who have learned from these `unwritten rules' working with them and not against them to foster success and long lasting working relationships.

I highly recommend this book for those women already in the workplace but especially college students preparing to careers.

Disclaimer:
The review copy of this book was provided by Waterbrook Multnomah Publishing free of charge and was donated to the library of Westwood Baptist Church.

Reviewed by: Keiki Hendrix
Reviewed for: Waterbrook Multnomah

[Nicole · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book investigates the inner thoughts of men and their attitudes toward women in the workplace. Now, I am 4 years removed from having any sort of "workplace," and the only male I deal with all day can be sent to time out if he starts to act out! So why would I care about this book? I do plan on returning to school then work at some point, so I may as well get some advantage in dealing with them. And I thought there would be some aspects that could apply to personal interactions as well.

One of my friends from my former workplace and I used to talk about how "perception IS reality." In other words, it doesn't matter what you say and do, it matters how others comprehend what you say & do. That concept is the essence of what this book tries to explain. Three points in the book really drove that home for me. First, she explains that when a woman asks for help or clarification on a task, men see it as "she couldn't figure it out." A second point is that when women ask "why" questions, it directly challenges a man's judgment, belittling them in a way. (a better approach is "help me understand how....").

And the last idea that really struck me hit closest to home, working women with families. While the men didn't begrudge a woman asking for flextime or reduced hours, they expected her to understand that they could not be considered "equal." In fact, Ms. Feldhahn attributed some of the discrepancy in male/female wages for the same job to this inequality. We may have the same title, but he works late hours and on weekends so his compensation is higher. She acknowledges the inherent unfairness and shares the hope that "over time, 'equality' will mean the demonstration of equal capability, not equal contributions..or equal time." (p194)

I enjoyed reading this book and learned some new things about that mysterious male brain. While I initially had some skepticism about what she would say (I thought there would be suggestions to alter yourself to fit into the male design) but at every turn she recommended practices that could be applicable to men as well as women, such as respecting co-workers or managing the perceptions of others.

This book was provided for review by the WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group.

[Jennifer Defoy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Got this one as a review copy.

Shaunti Feldhahn spent many years collecting data about how men think, that led her to start collecting information about how men perceive women in the workplace. At first I thought that this would be a bunch of statistics and charts. There were some statistics and charts but that was not the meat of the book. Most of the book explains what men are thinking about working women, why they think that way, and what changes a woman could make to be better accepted by the men she works with.

There were so many things that I didn't really think would actually hinder a woman's ability to move up in the corporate world. But most of these things were things that all (or most) women do instinctively that men think are unprofessional. Then there were the things that I've learned in my own experiences that I thought were fairly common knowledge amongst women (but apparently they are not). One of the things that was most shocking to me is the way women dress, even when we think we look professional, can be very distracting to men. I won't go into specifics, but I think it's interesting, especially when you go to her website and see some examples...

I liked how she looked at the inherent differences between how men and women think and how the brain is wired for each gender to have these differences of thought. Even though I've recognized these differences on my own I never even realized that they would affect how a woman is perceived at work. I also liked how each fact was followed up with a quote from a man that she had interviewed. The quotes were very pertinent and really made me think about the point the man was trying to make.

I really liked this book. Not only was it interesting but I think that it was enlightening. Just as Feldhahn says, you may not agree with everything she discovered about men, but if you can at least understand it then you could be doing yourself a huge favor.

[Pamela Tucker · Rating 5 out of 5]

The research gives no information on techniques to deal with men, only a perception in what men are like. The best reasonable thing to do is remember history tells us about in how powerful men are and the same respect comes when speaking with them in a professional manner. They do not need to be told what to do just what they should think about to make the situation better in communicating with women at work is basically sticking with the facts. Men are all about facts, and their perception does not always follow through as they sometimes have assumptions are do not always know what the problem is. Personally, I think women pass the opportunity to work as a team instead of looking at them like an enemy. These men of today were not the ones who set the ground rules. You should at least get a few things you didn't know about how men (in the workplace)perceive women in the workplace in this book even if it is repetitively written. Research is exciting to some and boring for others.

Shaunti never said it was a book in how to, but telling of the misconceptions which is normal between groups of people and of men and women in their perceptions of what a workplace functions as. This is related to the workplace and not living with a husband, having a boyfriend, and this is why men are not the same at work as at home. They are there for purpose and some will be there for their own benefit or they will try to look for ways to grow a team in concern and caring. The process that she claims is just the beginning of an area that should be researched, but I think this should be handled better with someone with experience in relationships who has a side of professionalism in psychology.

I think this also allowed inspiration in my up coming work in research, and this was very helpful studying the way it was constructed on a personal basis.

[Naomi Inman · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had the opportunity to hear Shaunti speak in the Portland area last month and bought the Male Factor out of great respect for Shaunti's research model and practical approach to understanding men--practical because she truly wants women to thrive in their work and relationships with men.

This book was right on target for me, especially as it relates to understanding how men perceive women--what we do, say, and how we express ourselves emotionally. As women we lose a great deal of power and potential if we either insist on operating with this blind spot, or maintain a hostile attitude. We might buck against these realities all we want but we won't succeed without understanding and operating within the male mind. Everything here affirms what you might instictively know about men--but with tangible evidence.

And there is new information to consider as well. There are stereotypes about men that Shaunti obliterates to cultivate a workplace and relationships built on mutual respect and partnership of our ying and yang potential. Great work, Shaunti. I'm very proud to say I have read your book.

[Denise · Rating 3 out of 5]

I expected to learn a lot from this book but I did not even finish it. The first chapter is about how the data was collected (interesting) then the author presents a "men think like this" statement and goes on with boring examples for the next 10 pages. Then another example of how men think and another 10 pages of quotes from men.

I've been married 23 years, I know how men think. I've worked in a predominately male profession my entire life and most of my friends are male. I need techniques to DEAL with men, not information on what men are like.

The next time a man says to me "oh, sorry it must be your time of the month" which is what all men think apparently, I don't want my self talk to say "its what men do..." I want to be able to respond with something he will understand and make him STOP IT!

Skip this book and read a good novel, maybe by Stieg Larrson to see how a woman with BALLS acts!

[Chickadee · Rating 2 out of 5]

Shaunti Feldhahn’s newest book is definitely geared towards career women. If you’ve been out of the corporate workplace for any length of time, this book may not hold your interest unless you’re planning to re-enter the workforce.

This book is basically a “how to” guide of how to get along with men in the workplace. Shaunti spent eight years researching the data for this book and enlisted the help of various professionals to gather data, conduct tests and interviews. Chapter 11 was what I considered the “meat” of this book. This chapter focuses on men’s top advice for women in the workplace such as: “Be competent, be yourself, be confident, don’t take work related issues personally.”

Anyone looking to relate better to their male co-workers may greatly appreciate the “inside” information in this book.

[Tara · Rating 3 out of 5]

In this book the author delves into the working world as seen by men and what women often do, without knowing it, to sabotage their own upward momentum. The author spends the first two chapters describing her research and explaining how she came up with the information, what she chose to include and also exclude and the ways in which women can benefit from the information she gained. In no way is this a how to guide or a book on what women must do but more of an explanation of how women's actions are percieved by men in the workplace and how that impacts their ability to advance within a company.

As a woman in business I found that there were some things I wasn't picking up on and that I could learn a great deal by better understanding the male perspective. This book has helped me to see how my actions can have an impact on the way my coworkers see me.

[Readnponder · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book endeavors to help women better understand men in the workplace. Generally speaking, men want women to succeed. However, different neurological wiring cause men and women to respond differently in the office. Men find it much more easy to compartmentalize. They prefer separate sphere: keep business and personal separate. Women's brains are more integrated and better at multitasking. A corollary of compartmentalization means that men will be less emotional at work. They tend to see emotions as interfering with reasoning and productivity -- a failure to successfully compartmentalize.

While some may find that there are too many generalizations in the book, the author bases her findings on years of research conducted among leaders of Fortune 500 companies. There is an appendix explaining the survey tools and statistical analysis.

[Dixie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Substantial research was given to the topic of "how men view women in the workplace/what do they think of women", and quite frankly, I found the last chapter, which dealt specifically on advise to women, to be the most helpful! I think the target audience for this book are women working in law firms, consulting firms and perhaps even investment banking firms. As someone who is not working in any of those industries, I thought the book, at times, didn't resonate with me. However, the chapters dealing with emotions and teamwork are the ones the will stay with me because I can see myself in those experiences. Definitely, I recommend this book for career purposes.

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

Super fascinating read. Totally recommend it ladies, whether you work at home or in a corporate environment I think this book is a really interesting look into how men think and operate in the workplace and the implications that has for women.

I skimmed through it in about two hours at borders. I think Ch. 8, the Confidence Factor was especially interesting.

Haven't checked out her website www.themalefactor.com but will check it out.

[Shelie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a must read for any women in a male dominated business world. Even though there are many women in business today, the men made the orginal rules. Their perceptions are important and I guarantee you will learn at least 2 things you didn't know about how men perceive women in the workplace.

[Lois · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a must read book for every woman in the business world. It provides useful information on how women can better communicate and be more successful in the workplace. The anonymous research questions that were posed to business men reveals their thoughts about some of the things we working women may be doing that hurts our chances to professionally advance.

[Julia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very insightful read - especially recommended for anyone that works in a male-dominated field. Written and [well:] researched by a female but pretty unbiased nonetheless. It really shed light on the popular "work-life balance" concept and is worth a read for the chapter on how women dress alone.

[Stacey · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book and found it fascinating, though my husband says I could have just asked him how men's brains work. The chapter about what men think we're trying to say by what we wear was illuminating, and troubling. Can't wait until we have more women in agenda-setting positions so we can stop trying to fit ourselves into men's way of thinking.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must-read for professional women working in a male-dominated workplace. This book gives some good tips for avoiding inadvertently looking unprofessional around the opposite sex. It's not a book intended to convince women to capitulate to the man's world, but rather a description of its parameters.