Farewell My Ovaries

by Wendy Harmer

Claire Sellwyn-Wallace has decided to throw her ovaries a farewell party - one wild night of unbridled lust before she says goodbye to all that.

This time it will be everything she has always imagined. This time she knows exactly how it will go. She's old enough, she's earned it.

But can you plan passion? And what's love got to do with it?

A warm, funny and sexy novel about life, eternity, hormones and hair removal.

Genres: Chick Lit, Humor, Fiction, Australia

308 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2006

About the author

Wendy Harmer is an Australian author, writer, radio show host and comedienne. A former political journalist, Wendy is the author of seven books for adults: It's a Joke, Joyce (1989), Backstage Pass (1991), Love Gone Wrong (1995), So anyway-- : Wendy’s words of wisdom (1997) (a collection of her weekly columns from The Sydney Morning Herald’s Good Weekend Magazine), Farewell My Ovaries (2005), Nagging for Beginners (2006), Love and Punishment (2006), and Roadside Sisters published in April 2009.

Harmer's books have been described as being in the genre of Chick lit. They are popular light novels and very humorous.

Wendy Harmer has also written a series for young readers called the Pearlie in the Park . They are bestsellers in Australia and have been published in ten countries around the world. The animated Pearlie series has screened on Australian TV.

I Lost My Mobile at the Mall (2009) is Wendy's first novel for teens.

She has written for numerous Australian magazines and has been a contributing columnist for Australian Women's Weekly, New Weekly, The Good Weekend and HQ.

Wendy contributed to Marie Claire’s What Women Want in 2002, My Sporting Hero edited by Greg Gowden which was published by Random House Australia and a volume of The Best Ever Sports Writing . . . 200 Years of Sport Writing. She also wrote the libretto for Baz Luhrmann’s Opera Australia production of Lake Lost.

Reviews

[Flower · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was ok it was good to start off. but then i got really board with it. only finished because i hate not finishing books.

[♥ Ashleigh ♥ Contrary to popular belief I'm not actually mad! · Rating 1 out of 5]

By far one of the worst books I've managed to finish in quiet a while. Shame as the blurb sounded hilarious. The MC was a total self-centred, immature, up-themselves cow. Shame I waisted a dollar for this book - least it went to a good cause.

[KylieAtkinson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve always loved Wendy Harmer as a comedian but now I’m in love with her as an author too. I love the way she writes, the story was engaging, LOVED the humour throughout and there was even a fair bit of raunchy stuff thrown in.

Although I wasn’t a huge fan of the main character, Claire (she’s a bit up herself and a bit self absorbed), I did love reliving all her wild younger days and past relationships. The analysis of these and why they didn’t work was interesting. As was the different views of different age groups throughout the book on topics ranging from menopause to Brazilian waxes to best nights of sex to child birth.

A thoroughly enjoyable book and I can’t wait to start her other ones.

[Ruta · Rating 4 out of 5]

Infidelity is something I never understood or accepted, no matter which age someone decides to pursue it. Nevertheless, it is nice to see Claire's perspective in arranging her last endeavor to what she considered as a youth. Not gonna lie the way the author portrays Claire's character irritates me quite much as it just boils me that a 40-something person could be so self-centered and obnoxious. The friendship Claire and Meg have is just amazing! Meg keeps being her friend through it all and how they can still be (somewhat) true to each other is so realistic.

[Jane · Rating 3 out of 5]

Probably 3 1/2 stars. Sex, tick; drop dead gorgeous guy, tick.... Farewell My Ovaries left Things We Never Got Over for dead. Lucy Score should read this book to see how to write about sex and hot men with class! A nice easy read that is well written for the story it is by our own Wendy Harmer. Not my favourite genre but this one made it bearable and how 'romance' stories should be. Wendy tells a great story and thank you for not dictating to me about every single glance and how hot the guy is. I was fully able to discern this from the writing without it being spelt out on every page

[Bec · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilariously written and easy to follow. I read this when I hadn’t picked up a book in years, and I could hardly put it down! At the start I felt like I was watching it unfold, but by the end, I felt like I was a character!

[Kim Parish · Rating 1 out of 5]

Sadly I could not finish the book I gave it my best shot but 1/2 way through couldn't bring myself to waste any more time on it.

[Teao · Rating 2 out of 5]

Meh..didn’t like the main character thought she was selfish lady but I liked the friendship with Claire and Meg.

[Lisa · Rating 2 out of 5]

I couldn't finish it

[Elisa Kay · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this light-hearted comedy.

[Devi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fantastic and quite funny!

[Kirsty Wenn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I nearly didn't finish this book as, even 40 pages in, I was having a hard time relating to Claire. I persisted though and ended up reading the whole book in one day. I was surprised in the end how much I actually enjoyed reading it. I really enjoyed the conversations and friendship between Claire and Meg. If you are easily offended by sex in books, maybe don't read this one.

[Sally906 · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am really divided as to whether I liked this book or not. On the one hand it is a humorous look at a woman going through menopause. The main character, Claire, doesn’t know where she fits into society now she has started the rocky road to crone-hood. She is not ready to join the grannies, and too old for the sweet young things. She craves to be irresponsible for one more time before she sinks into respectability.

So how is she going to be irresponsible? She decides to celebrate the death of her ovaries by having a night of unbridled sex with a younger man who she met at her step daughters wedding. he knows it will be a one night stand – he’s engaged to a woman from America. And this is where my problem started – she is a happily married woman – and admits she loves and adores her husband and doesn’t want to lose him or their six year old daughter. Then she snorts cocaine and nearly has sex on a toilet seat in the men’s rest-room. She is only stopped from going through with it by someone coming into use the toilet. – it all so ikky and eeeewwwwe. This is all in the first few pages – then the bulk of the remainder of the book is her planning to go all the way with this bloke as her coming of age.

Claire is a very bohemian character anyway – she is a singer in a cabaret band – and has had sex with all her band members in the past – as well as a wild sordid youth as she slept her way around the world. Eventually she decided she wanted permanence in her life, she hated the flimsiness of the lifestyle she was living. She met Charlie, fell in love, married him and had a child. Now that old age is staring her in the face she yearns for her old life style.

So why did I finish it if I am so anti the main character? Well I wanted to see if she made the right decision in the end – if she gave up everything for one night of selfish loveless sex. The fact that I disliked Claire demonstrated that the author was able to create a real response to a paper person. The book is funny – and well written – and in many ways this character matched my initial feelings of confusion and search for meaning at what I thought was the end of my womanhood, instead of a new phase of being a woman. I would like to state for the record that while I have been through menopause – I never at any stage craved to have sex with a young stud as one last stand.

[Marianne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Farewell My Ovaries is the 5th bookby Australian humourist Wendy Harmer. Forty-five year-old Claire Sellwyn Wallace, happily married to Charlie, step-mum to Rose, mother of 6 year-old Madeline, is having a midlife crisis. The crisis has been brought on by a close encounter in a toilet with young Connor Carmody, seemingly half her age, former school mate of her newly acquired son-in-law Dermott; the crisis intensifies when Claire learns she is peri-menopausal. Claire has suddenly realised that there will be no more exciting sex for her with different men in stimulating situations: Charlie is it, for ever and ever. Her rebellion to this event crystallises into a plan for a farewell to her ovaries: 24 hours of the best sex ever, with Connor, if he’s amenable. This plan is spilled to her best friend and sounding-board, Meg, who, whilst understanding and supportive, warns her off the whole idea. Claire acknowledges she is physically attractive, healthy, happily married mother of a divine 6 year old with a lovely home in a wealthy suburb, who has a successful singing career, so why is she toying with the idea of sleeping with Connor, a landscape gardener/surfie half her age? Claire considers herself the mistress of fucked-up smart-arse observations, and also says that considered thoughtfulness and reckless defiance war within her. The novel takes place over eleven days as Claire makes plans for her farewell party with tantalising fantasies and erotic phone calls to Connor, and the reader learns of her life as it is now and her sexual history: what she refers to as her coitus vitae. While there is plenty of humour, Claire initially comes across as selfish, self-centred and irresponsible. She is witty and clever, quick with smart remarks and sharp observations, but I found the emphasis on the hormonal aspect of Claire’s reckless behaviour a bit demeaning to peri-menopausal women. Still, there were plenty of clever quips and lots of interesting philosophising about men, women, sex and relationships. The characters are realistic, the dialogue authentic, the plot has a few twists to keep it interesting and the ending is a heartwarming one. A fun read.

[Steph · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book started out funny and had some really great parts to it but all in all it felt as though it went far too long and has some seemingly irrelevant stuff to the story in there.
Wasn't feeling it.

[Barbara Pincham · Rating 1 out of 5]

I hated this book. I picked it up to read thinking that it would be funny because it was written by Wendy Harmer. I didn't find it funny at all. I only persisted in reading it because I don't like to let a book beat me. I wouldn't recommend it at all.

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very easy read that will have you laughing out loud. I read this on holidays so they may have had something to do with it.

But it twisted and turned and it gave me a smile.

[Dee-Ann · Rating 5 out of 5]

shockingly funny

[Andrea · Rating 5 out of 5]

Witty, sexy, hilarous, romp about a perimenopausal Sydney woman's life. A real laugh out loud book, could barely put it down and want to read more of her work.

[Lauren · Rating 1 out of 5]

Nope.

[Victoria Toropov · Rating 5 out of 5]

i really loved this book, it was cute and funny, i loved every single page and what would happen next

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Full of humour, as expected by Wendy Harmer. I loved her novel Love and Punishment, but this one wasn't as good. If you are looking for a good, quick read this is your book.

[Janet · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was okay.

There were some very funny lines, but I found most of the book quite oh-hum with the main character ranting about sex.

[Kim Wilson · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wasn't a huge fan. It did teach me what peri menopause was but it didn't make me want to rush out and read any of her other books.

[Naomi]

Funny, entertaining

[Samantha W · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fantastic read. Made me laught out loud a number of times.

[Nisha · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hilarious. Couldn't put it down. Recommended it to my mum.