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Praying: Finding Our Way Through Duty to Delight
Merit Award, World Guild Christian Living Book Praying is an action. Praying is an action that is of the essence of Christian existence. It involves our beliefs, emotions, values, hopes and fears, certainties and uncertainties, knowledge and ignorance. As J. I. Packer and Carolyn Nystrom explain, this book "is a heart-to-heart affair, in which two Christians who try to pray and wish they prayed better share thoughts about what they are doing with people whom they envisage as being like themselves. . . . Our aim is not just to clarify Christian understanding but to foster Christian living. In real praying, head, heart and hands go together." With wisdom, humility and sincerity the authors lead us through different moods of praying, including brooding, praising, asking, complaining and hanging on. In Praying the authors offer hope for those of us who daydream when we try to listen to God and stumble when we try to speak. Yet they don't just teach us about prayer; they challenge and inspire us to do it by pointing us to a clearer realization of the reality of God and his character. Let Packer and Nystrom come alongside you to encourage and guide your active praying to our powerful God, and let him move your praying through mere duty to delight.
319 pages, Paperback
First published July 1, 2006
54 people are currently reading
881 people want to read
About the author
J.I. Packer
216 books932 followersWhat do J. I. Packer, Billy Graham and Richard John Neuhaus have in common? Each was recently named by TIME magazine as among the 25 most influential evangelicals in America.
Dr. Packer, the Board of Governors’ Professor of Theology at Regent College, was hailed by TIME as “a doctrinal Solomon” among Protestants. “Mediating debates on everything from a particular Bible translation to the acceptability of free-flowing Pentecostal spirituality, Packer helps unify a community [evangelicalism] that could easily fall victim to its internal tensions.”
Knowing God, Dr. Packer’s seminal 1973 work, was lauded as a book which articulated shared beliefs for members of diverse denominations; the TIME profile quotes Michael Cromartie of the Ethics and Public Policy Center in Washington as saying, “conservative Methodists and Presbyterians and Baptists could all look to [Knowing God] and say, ‘This sums it all up for us.’”
In a similar tribute to Dr. Packer almost ten years ago, American theologian Mark Noll wrote in Christianity Today that, “Packer’s ability to address immensely important subjects in crisp, succinct sentences is one of the reasons why, both as an author and speaker, he has played such an important role among American evangelicals for four decades.”
For over 25 years Regent College students have been privileged to study under Dr. Packer’s clear and lucid teaching, and our faculty, staff and students celebrate the international recognition he rightly receives as a leading Christian thinker and teacher.
(https://www.regent-college.edu/facult...)
Dr. Packer, the Board of Governors’ Professor of Theology at Regent College, was hailed by TIME as “a doctrinal Solomon” among Protestants. “Mediating debates on everything from a particular Bible translation to the acceptability of free-flowing Pentecostal spirituality, Packer helps unify a community [evangelicalism] that could easily fall victim to its internal tensions.”
Knowing God, Dr. Packer’s seminal 1973 work, was lauded as a book which articulated shared beliefs for members of diverse denominations; the TIME profile quotes Michael Cromartie of the Ethics and Public Policy Center in Washington as saying, “conservative Methodists and Presbyterians and Baptists could all look to [Knowing God] and say, ‘This sums it all up for us.’”
In a similar tribute to Dr. Packer almost ten years ago, American theologian Mark Noll wrote in Christianity Today that, “Packer’s ability to address immensely important subjects in crisp, succinct sentences is one of the reasons why, both as an author and speaker, he has played such an important role among American evangelicals for four decades.”
For over 25 years Regent College students have been privileged to study under Dr. Packer’s clear and lucid teaching, and our faculty, staff and students celebrate the international recognition he rightly receives as a leading Christian thinker and teacher.
(https://www.regent-college.edu/facult...)
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 47 reviews
December 22, 2020
The most comprehensive, balanced, and nuanced book on prayer I have read so far. Packer provides the deep theological foundations for every aspect and setting of prayer in an accessible and engaging conversational prose. As any Packer book this work will convict and comfort you. Extremely useful for any teaching on the nature of prayer and the Christian life. Highly recommended.
June 12, 2023
This approach to prayer is more God focused: who is he and how should that dictate how we approach him in posture, as well as the content of our prayers? This book is more interested in conforming the pray-er into God’s image, and giving them a better starting point of understanding.
In understanding who God is we will realize that our prayers are a privilege to deepen our relationship with God, rather than a task to check off the list.
I did find the beginning of this book very helpful, but the second half of the book was difficult to get through and less helpful. In general I think it could have been more concise with the same amount of good content.
In understanding who God is we will realize that our prayers are a privilege to deepen our relationship with God, rather than a task to check off the list.
I did find the beginning of this book very helpful, but the second half of the book was difficult to get through and less helpful. In general I think it could have been more concise with the same amount of good content.
May 13, 2025
Would recommend this book to anyone, it has great ideas about ways to pray and grow closer to the Lord, as well as describing the sheer importance of the discipline. With frequent encouragement to commit to the larger body of believers, Packer and Nystrom took a book on prayer and showed its applications to the entirety of the Christian walk.
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May 20, 2020Excellent. I think you could shave 75 pages off and not lose any major substance; some sections and illustrations are for wordier than needed. (I attribute that to Nystrom who did most of the writing and shaping of Packer's words.) I really enjoyed his chapter on Brooding prayer (that is, prayer flowing from meditation).
May 3, 2023
Really helpful thoughts on prayer, especially on meditating (ch. 3), praising (ch. 4), asking (ch. 6), and complaining (ch. 7). However, this book didn't need to be a 300-page book, and it took me a long time to get through it. My guess is that Nystrom helped Packer be more readable, but in so doing made the book longer than it needed to be.
March 7, 2021
I find it ironic to read a book about praying (Think the Nike tag line of “Just Do It”), but this definitely added depth and challenge to what I already determined was a solid prayer life of my own. The biggest takeaway I received from this book is that God, when answering prayers, does not mitigate the gap between His wisdom and our ignorance. He answers the prayers we should have prayed, and answers our prayers as He sees best, even if that answer doesn’t seem to us an answer at all. The idea is that in prayer, as in all things, we are called to conform to the Lord, and not He to us. The second biggest takeaway was the challenge to participate in corporate prayer (“A solitary Christian is no Christian at all”) and to not think I’m experiencing all that God is apart from the Church, for God has designed me to need community and what others have to offer as members of the Body of Christ, including their prayers and praying together. Packer includes methods of getting myself out of the way in corporate prayer (don’t just passively listen but actually pray someone else’s prayers as your own as they’re praying, etc.), which I’ve found helpful in applying this challenge to real life.
After struggling through reading “Knowing God” by Packer, I found myself hesitant to start this. I have finished this book to say that this was refreshingly easier to read than “Knowing God,” maybe because I’m older and I’ve read more, maybe because it’s actually easier to read, maybe both. There are some parts where the train of thought is hard to follow, but it’s mitigated with a statement of “I’m sure you’re thinking, ‘what does this have to do with this topic?’ And this is what it has to do with this topic.”
After struggling through reading “Knowing God” by Packer, I found myself hesitant to start this. I have finished this book to say that this was refreshingly easier to read than “Knowing God,” maybe because I’m older and I’ve read more, maybe because it’s actually easier to read, maybe both. There are some parts where the train of thought is hard to follow, but it’s mitigated with a statement of “I’m sure you’re thinking, ‘what does this have to do with this topic?’ And this is what it has to do with this topic.”
October 14, 2021
This book was part of a church group Bible study, discussed over time. There are many great points made, with writing and prayer prompts included with each chapter. It is an older book and can’t even difficult to read, but you will get a lot out of it even if you only read a few of the chapters, or pages. It is a great springboard for discussion.
August 1, 2023
I've read a handful of books on prayer and they often fall on one end of the spectrum or the other, either focused on correcting theology of prayer or giving advice on the practice of prayer. This book does an incredible job of finding the balance and doing both. My prayer life has already benefited from reading this book. Solid 5 stars.
August 27, 2012
An excellent book for looking at the heart of the praying life. Packe and Nystrom provide a deep and Biblical encouragement to beging once again to delight in a life of prayer.
June 1, 2022
Heavy reading - dense, as all Packer’s stuff is. But still, very, very good. A good mix of dense theology and practical application. Not the easiest reading, but a rewarding one.
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June 12, 20252025-06-12
Review 2025.05.003
Reviewers Note: It is the beginning of 2025 and one of the skills I desire to grow in is that of writing book reviews (having never done this before). I am doing this so I can better hone my writing (and reading) skills as I seek to think more critically about the books I am reading. I am sharing on Goodreads for my own personal development. I know this will be something I am always growing in so if you actually read these, please be patient with me as I develop this skill. I will also receive constructive criticism if you desire to help me become a better writer (and reader). I plan to use this disclaimer for the entire 2025 year.
Praying by J.I. Packer and Carolyn Nystrom
319 Pages
When I saw that J.I. Packer had a book on prayer a few years ago, I had to buy it. Unfortunately it was not in the Kindle format so I ordered a real (physical) book. Shocking, I know! I attempted to read it and didn’t even get through a full chapter before surrendering. I used to love physical books but the Kindle has ruined me. So I had to wait for a few years until the book was added to the Kindle library. Then I waited even longer for the book to go on sale. Thankfully I’m a patient man.
I have read “Knowing God” and “Evangelism and the Sovereignty of God” by J.I. Packer and I loved them both so I was confident I would love this one too. And true to form, it was an excellent book. I have read a lot of books on prayer as it is the primary way I want to grow in my relationship with God. This book had many of the same themes but also presented them in the J.I. Packer way. As an example, there was a chapter on brooding prayer which I had never heard used for meditation before but it definitely fits.
There are plenty of stories about prayer from both J.I. Packer and Carolyn Nystrom. The book is written as if J.I. Packer wrote the whole thing but it was a joint effort as they explain in the beginning. The stories are encouraging and real. When authors share their personal experiences, successes and struggles, it makes the book more authentic.
I had a handful of highlights from the book. One of my favorites was “So before God’s throne we are all beggars, and begging good gifts from God is what petitionary prayer is all about.” When I first read about being beggars before God (I think from E.M. Bounds), I was not shocked by it. It is a hard truth but at the same time we are children of God so it is definitely a dichotomy I wrestle with in my prayers. Father loves His children and wants to give them good gifts but we cannot expect Him to grant them all.
Another quote about waiting and suffering in prayer was timely (still is). “Did Nehemiah and Hannah and Job and Paul suffer in their times of waiting for God as they prayed over and over their troubles in ignorance of what God’s timing for action might be? If we define suffering broadly, to cover all forms of not getting what you like while not liking what you get, the answer is, of course they did. We suffer similarly when our prayers seem to be achieving nothing.” It is hard when I have to wait. I was born in the microwave society like most if not all of you. But Father is not a genie granting wishes, He is our heavenly Father giving us the good gifts when it is time and not a moment sooner.
If you are interested in growing in your prayer life, then I highly recommend this book. It is full of wisdom and grace.
Review 2025.05.003
Reviewers Note: It is the beginning of 2025 and one of the skills I desire to grow in is that of writing book reviews (having never done this before). I am doing this so I can better hone my writing (and reading) skills as I seek to think more critically about the books I am reading. I am sharing on Goodreads for my own personal development. I know this will be something I am always growing in so if you actually read these, please be patient with me as I develop this skill. I will also receive constructive criticism if you desire to help me become a better writer (and reader). I plan to use this disclaimer for the entire 2025 year.
Praying by J.I. Packer and Carolyn Nystrom
319 Pages
When I saw that J.I. Packer had a book on prayer a few years ago, I had to buy it. Unfortunately it was not in the Kindle format so I ordered a real (physical) book. Shocking, I know! I attempted to read it and didn’t even get through a full chapter before surrendering. I used to love physical books but the Kindle has ruined me. So I had to wait for a few years until the book was added to the Kindle library. Then I waited even longer for the book to go on sale. Thankfully I’m a patient man.
I have read “Knowing God” and “Evangelism and the Sovereignty of God” by J.I. Packer and I loved them both so I was confident I would love this one too. And true to form, it was an excellent book. I have read a lot of books on prayer as it is the primary way I want to grow in my relationship with God. This book had many of the same themes but also presented them in the J.I. Packer way. As an example, there was a chapter on brooding prayer which I had never heard used for meditation before but it definitely fits.
There are plenty of stories about prayer from both J.I. Packer and Carolyn Nystrom. The book is written as if J.I. Packer wrote the whole thing but it was a joint effort as they explain in the beginning. The stories are encouraging and real. When authors share their personal experiences, successes and struggles, it makes the book more authentic.
I had a handful of highlights from the book. One of my favorites was “So before God’s throne we are all beggars, and begging good gifts from God is what petitionary prayer is all about.” When I first read about being beggars before God (I think from E.M. Bounds), I was not shocked by it. It is a hard truth but at the same time we are children of God so it is definitely a dichotomy I wrestle with in my prayers. Father loves His children and wants to give them good gifts but we cannot expect Him to grant them all.
Another quote about waiting and suffering in prayer was timely (still is). “Did Nehemiah and Hannah and Job and Paul suffer in their times of waiting for God as they prayed over and over their troubles in ignorance of what God’s timing for action might be? If we define suffering broadly, to cover all forms of not getting what you like while not liking what you get, the answer is, of course they did. We suffer similarly when our prayers seem to be achieving nothing.” It is hard when I have to wait. I was born in the microwave society like most if not all of you. But Father is not a genie granting wishes, He is our heavenly Father giving us the good gifts when it is time and not a moment sooner.
If you are interested in growing in your prayer life, then I highly recommend this book. It is full of wisdom and grace.
March 19, 2022
Notes on Prayer - j.I. Packer
By-paths
-petition without devotion… seeking gifts from God though you are not living for God
-to conclude that God is not answering our prayers unless he matches his answer precisely to the terms of our original request is another by-path
-too narrow of a notion of prayer itself (why ask God? He knows what we need…)
-limiting prayer’s scope (only petition and intercession without praise and thanks and celebration of God)
-wordless prayer / meditation alone
-thinking prayer is twisting God’s arm
We are fallen creatures. The anti-God allergy called original sin resides and Marauds in our moral and spiritual system. Leading us to deeply egocentric motivation, moral corner-cutting and worse, callousness and cruelty, undervaluing and exploiting others, constant self-admiration end self-pity, playing God while evading the real God, loving ourselves but not loving him, wanting to be praised while declining inwardly to praise or admire others, and many other self-centered vices. For sinners as such, duty, which is first God-centered and then others-centered can never be a delight.
The truth is that all human beings are twisted and flawed deep down inside. The human heart is in the grip of a pernicious anti-God allergy, an inner drive towards self-centered self-assertion at all times, a chameleon instinct for practical self deification that the Bible calls sin and diagnosis as pride. Pride, thus understood, is a passion always to be in control so that all our desires get satisfied and in all relationships we dominate. So pride makes impossible a truly respectful attitude to other people which sees everyone else as mattering more than one self… and it makes impossible a truly reverent attitude to God, which sees his glory as all that matters and ourselves here to please and praise him and all that we do, starting with our treatment of others. All God centeredness is categorically ruled out by the me-ism of pride
We ourselves by ourselves can never be fully realistic about ourselves, never discern our own inner twistedness, until God begins to reveal to us what is really wrong with us. Only God, whom we cannot deceive, however much we may wish and try to, can free us from the self deceptions that our sinful pride has generated
By-paths
-petition without devotion… seeking gifts from God though you are not living for God
-to conclude that God is not answering our prayers unless he matches his answer precisely to the terms of our original request is another by-path
-too narrow of a notion of prayer itself (why ask God? He knows what we need…)
-limiting prayer’s scope (only petition and intercession without praise and thanks and celebration of God)
-wordless prayer / meditation alone
-thinking prayer is twisting God’s arm
We are fallen creatures. The anti-God allergy called original sin resides and Marauds in our moral and spiritual system. Leading us to deeply egocentric motivation, moral corner-cutting and worse, callousness and cruelty, undervaluing and exploiting others, constant self-admiration end self-pity, playing God while evading the real God, loving ourselves but not loving him, wanting to be praised while declining inwardly to praise or admire others, and many other self-centered vices. For sinners as such, duty, which is first God-centered and then others-centered can never be a delight.
The truth is that all human beings are twisted and flawed deep down inside. The human heart is in the grip of a pernicious anti-God allergy, an inner drive towards self-centered self-assertion at all times, a chameleon instinct for practical self deification that the Bible calls sin and diagnosis as pride. Pride, thus understood, is a passion always to be in control so that all our desires get satisfied and in all relationships we dominate. So pride makes impossible a truly respectful attitude to other people which sees everyone else as mattering more than one self… and it makes impossible a truly reverent attitude to God, which sees his glory as all that matters and ourselves here to please and praise him and all that we do, starting with our treatment of others. All God centeredness is categorically ruled out by the me-ism of pride
We ourselves by ourselves can never be fully realistic about ourselves, never discern our own inner twistedness, until God begins to reveal to us what is really wrong with us. Only God, whom we cannot deceive, however much we may wish and try to, can free us from the self deceptions that our sinful pride has generated
August 9, 2021
This is actually a rather large book compared to the other books I've been reading on prayer. If you love going down rabbit trails and having every detail answered and you want to know more about prayer, this is probably a great place to start. They constantly use scripture to back up any points they make. The shared authorship method was a little weird at first but overall I think it was a pretty decent way to write the book. It is long. They didn't really repeat concepts, they just gave a ton of detail. They did put questions in the back of the book for small groups, but you'd have to have pretty dedicated people to make it through this book with a small group because each chapter is so long. The questions are also really intense. It seems more appropriate for personal study. My last point I'm only going to say because most of the Christians I'm around and that could be reading this are super prejudiced against The Message Bible. They do sometimes mention what The Message version says, but they don't use it as a definite version of how the text should be interpreted. They use it as a way to enrich what actual Bible translations say. I personally think the way they did it is fine and it won't prevent me from recommending this book to people.
September 9, 2021
This is actually a rather large book compared to the other books I've been reading on prayer. If you love going down rabbit trails and having every detail answered and you want to know more about prayer, this is probably a great place to start. They constantly use scripture to back up any points they make. The shared authorship method was a little weird at first but overall I think it was a pretty decent way to write the book. It is long. They didn't really repeat concepts, they just gave a ton of detail. They did put questions in the back of the book for small groups, but you'd have to have pretty dedicated people to make it through this book with a small group because each chapter is so long. The questions are also really intense. It seems more appropriate for personal study. My last point I'm only going to say because most of the Christians I'm around and that could be reading this are super prejudiced against The Message Bible. They do sometimes mention what The Message version says, but they don't use it as a definite version of how the text should be interpreted. They use it as a way to enrich what actual Bible translations say. I personally think the way they did it is fine and it won't prevent me from recommending this book to people.
March 23, 2019
JI Packer's Knowing God has always been a favorite of mine. I was certainly not disappointed after reading this equally thorough and useful resource on prayer. This book Praying is a theologically sound, detail and in depth exploration of prayer - its purpose and importance in the life of a Christian, as well as the various moods of prayer that the psalmists continually express. Whether they are asking God through petition or complaining to God, everything is to be done with the whole heart.
This book rings of authenticity (Packer and Caroyln both empathizing with the difficulty of prayer), is jam packed with Scripture (they use 118 different psalm references to support their points), and is an encouraging jumpstart for the Christian to move past the duty into the delight of prayer. I highly recommend this book to every believer, regardless of their maturity in prayer. It is going to stay as a prominent and permanent resource on my bookshelf. I am thankful for Packer and Carolyn!
This book rings of authenticity (Packer and Caroyln both empathizing with the difficulty of prayer), is jam packed with Scripture (they use 118 different psalm references to support their points), and is an encouraging jumpstart for the Christian to move past the duty into the delight of prayer. I highly recommend this book to every believer, regardless of their maturity in prayer. It is going to stay as a prominent and permanent resource on my bookshelf. I am thankful for Packer and Carolyn!
January 8, 2025
I read this book when it first came out - I have a first edition, but this time around about 20 years later, this volume proved to be a feast of wisdom and guidance. It is bold and honest. Both authors admit their struggle and at the end write, "We who write, like you who read, dare not claim to be more than beginners in God's school of prayer." I do have one quibble. Packer writes in the second chapter that the authentic path of prayer requires purity of heart. Yes, but he doesn't qualify that until the tenth chapter. Motives are always mixed since praying involves the element of struggle and conflict that sprout up from the impulses and urges that come from the heart. That David prayed, "Give me an undivided heart" presupposes that he recognized that his heart needed unified. This is a realistic book on prayer.
July 21, 2022
(4.5) Honestly wouldn’t have gotten through this book if I wasn’t reading it in a book study group. I found the book incredibly dense but valuable especially when it comes to types of prayer such as asking, praising, complaining, etc. I appreciated the final pages where J.I. and Carolyn offered a wrap up and practical applications. This book doesn’t teach you how to pray but reminds you WHO to pray to and how we should prepare our hearts to approach the Father. Would recommend to anyone but would also recommend to walk through it with someone and use the study questions in the back to further digest the content in each chapter.
July 6, 2021
Some excellent points and guidance to help deepen your prayer life. But indeed wordy and lengthy at times in explanations. Clearly written by devoted believers, but maybe has a slight academic quality in writing style then can sometimes feel disingenuous when reading about some so deeply personal as faith. Nonetheless, I credit their adroit and effort to glorify God but really trying their best to honor God and build up others by putting something comprehensive together. No doubt, God delights in the work they have put into this book.
December 28, 2017
Excellent book on the necessity and joy of praying to our Father who is always attentive to our needs. Packer and Nystrom reflect on the theology of prayer, the various forms of prayer and the practice of prayer. A good reference book to have on hand to keep my prayer life vital and on track.
December 30, 2017
I need to read this again!
January 29, 2019
It is encouraging, humbling and instructive.
October 25, 2020
Recommend.
A tough subject. A lot of unhelpful books have been written on this subject.
The authors don't try to pretend that praying is easy. They emphasize that it's worth the effort.
A tough subject. A lot of unhelpful books have been written on this subject.
The authors don't try to pretend that praying is easy. They emphasize that it's worth the effort.
March 11, 2021
3 and a half stars. Good material. Trying to accomplish too much. Was not what I expected. Overall agreed with theology
April 30, 2021
I found this book very well written with some very good information, of all kinds, about prayer. Highly recommended if you are interested in improving your prayer(s).
February 8, 2022
I need more books like this. Helpful.
January 10, 2023
This is was not what I was expecting but still great. As Packer explains in the book - this is “not a how-to but a who-to” book on Prayer.
June 3, 2024
A very thorough treatment of the topic of prayer. Scholarly at times, but you should expect that from
J I Packer.
J I Packer.
January 26, 2025
Hard to get through- very wordy and complex
June 19, 2025
Nothing I hadn't heard before, but a good reminder.
July 7, 2025
A helpful but very wordy read.
requires patient concentration
requires patient concentration
Displaying 1 - 30 of 47 reviews