Sexual Intelligence: Boost Your Sex IQ and Get Exactly What You Want in Bed

by Sheree D. Conrad, Dr. Michael Milburn

Get What You Want in Bed

Most couples agree that sex is an important part of a relationship, yet only a small percent claim to have a truly satisfying sex life. But no one has to live that way. This provocative and informative book will provide you with everything you need to know to boost your “sex IQ” and gain greater satisfaction—starting with the invaluable Sexual Intelligence Test.

Developed by Dr. Sheree Conrad and Dr. Michael Milburn as part of their groundbreaking scientific study, the test has proven to be an accurate predictor of how satisfied people are when they’re between the sheets—and you can reap the benefits of this extraordinary survey. After you measure your own sexual intelligence, you can identify your weakest areas and use the tools provided by Conrad and Milburn to get exactly what you want in bed. With the help of this practical guide, you will

* All the reasons people have sex
* What constitutes a “normal” sex life
* How to escape the confines of gender stereotypes
* The mysteries of sexual attraction
* How to use sexual intelligence to stay faithful

Filled with uplifting stories from the men and women whose sex lives were transformed by Milburn and Conrad’s thought-provoking study, as well as useful advice on how to shed your inhibitions and break free of cultural taboos, Sexual Intelligence will forever change the way you think about and practice sex.

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Sexuality

352 pages, Paperback

First published June 19, 2001

Reviews

[Miguel Núñez · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fue la primera vez que supe de este concepto "inteligencia sexual", y entendí que en realidad, sabemos menos de lo que creemos.

[Tonydowler Dowler · Rating 3 out of 5]

There's been a spate of "improve your sex life" books recently, most of which fall into the "wink wink, nudge nudge" category. Sexual Intelligence takes a much more sensible approach. It's about understanding your own sexual history and views of sex and how they contribute to your ability to have fulfilling, meaningful intimate relationships. That said, I've got some problems with this book.

The core of the book is a study where the authors correlated people's sexual history and attitudes to their current situation. By naming this correlation "sexual intelligence" they imply that's it's some kind of "sex IQ", when a number of factors that have nothing to do with "intelligence", including your personal history, are taken into account.

Also, as a caveat, the book doesn't have anything to say about what's right or wrong in sexual conduct. This is about factors that correlate with satisfaction. I applaud the fact that intimacy, love, and care are all given their due, however this book isn't a guide in how to conduct your life vis-a-vis sex.

For example, in the section on affairs at work, the book notes that "sexually intelligent" people report they've had intimate relationships with co-workers that turned out great, while for people who did not score high on the sexual intelligence scale, such affairs turned out badly—a rather ambiguous conclusion at best.

Nevertheless, this book is full of useful information and a number of good case studies, without a puerile slant.

[Gabrielle · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was terrible. When I first considered pursuing an education in human sexuality this is one of the first books that I came across. Besides it being wretchedly formatted, I felt it was a bit insulting to the intelligence of adults and so off the mark that it was actually damaging to people, adults and teens, who were genuinely curious and looking for real answers. I usually put old books I'm not fond of in a free box outside my place...but this one? To the trash, without remorse. It fit right in. I only wish I had it still that I could cite its many atrocities. If it had had, "Attempting," at the start of the title I would have been less dissappointed and significantly less furious about it. What I can say as a positive, however, is that this book provided a perfect example of what sex education can look like and has helped put me on a path of truly rational, scientific pursuit of solutions to what I consider not only a Western challenge, but one that is most surely global. I almost didn't bother checking out Marty Kline's (Klein?) book of the same title thinking it was one in the same. I haven't read his work yet but have listened to interviews and feel its safe to say he has a much more satisfying breadth of knowledge and better methods of presenting it. I wish I could have given this book no stars.

[Frrobins · Rating 2 out of 5]

I enjoyed the case studies, but the whole concept of sexual intelligence felt incredibly gimmicky and potentially damaging to me and left out people who identify as asexual. Some of the measures of sexual intelligence, such as having sex four times a week, seemed very judgmental and exclusive of factors going on in a person's life (for instance, if someone who is currently single and not in a relationship would be docked on this when at that time in that person's life it might be more healthy for them to be abstinent), not to mention dismissive of the fact that people have different drives. Some couples may be fine with a few times a week, others every day. As long as the couple is satisfied, then it's healthy, striving for a right number isn't.

It also promulgated the idea of sexual addiction without acknowledging that sex addiction is not currently recognized as a disorder and there is a lot of debate over whether or not it is one. Brain studies, for instance, cast doubt on it being an addiction.

There is some good information, but a lot to take with a grain of salt as well.

[Beki · Rating 1 out of 5]

One of those I think I should read, I know there's valuable information in it, but I just dislike it. For example- they share a story of a woman who wanted to have an affair and almost did until she found out the man wasn't interested in her "that way" then they applaud her use of self-control for not sleeping with him. But it wasn't really like she had a choice in the matter. I mean she was planning to and was only prevented from doing so when he introduced her to his own fiance. So it wasn't self control on her part so much as bad luck wasn't it?
I know it's silly but I just got turned off by that.

[Melissa · Rating 2 out of 5]

Interesting at times, bland at others

[Rebecca]

Heard about this in an article in NYTimes about teenage sexual behavior. Could be interesting, I'm sad to see other users are giving it only 2 stars. Probably I'll flip through it at a bookstore.

[Mystique]

Gave this book to Bookswapper, Adara