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Does the Bible Support Same-Sex Marriage?: 21 Conversations from a Historically Christian View
Many arguments are made for and against same-sex marriage that end with divisiveness and confusion instead of thoughtful conversation. New York Times–bestselling author Dr. Preston Sprinkle provides a resource that will encourage respectful and thoughtful conversations around the question “Does the Bible support same-sex marriage?”
Equipped with thorough research, history, and biblical context, this book will enable you to wade into some of the main arguments against the historically Christian view of marriage:
• The biblical writers didn’t know about sexual orientation.
• Jesus never mentions homosexuality.
• Biblical teachings about women, slavery, and same-sex are on the same trajectory.
• Since some people are born gay, then being gay must be okay.
• The Bible has been mistranslated.
Preston carefully answers 21 of the strongest cases for same-sex marriage and offers a humanizing and thoughtful response to each one.
Equipped with thorough research, history, and biblical context, this book will enable you to wade into some of the main arguments against the historically Christian view of marriage:
• The biblical writers didn’t know about sexual orientation.
• Jesus never mentions homosexuality.
• Biblical teachings about women, slavery, and same-sex are on the same trajectory.
• Since some people are born gay, then being gay must be okay.
• The Bible has been mistranslated.
Preston carefully answers 21 of the strongest cases for same-sex marriage and offers a humanizing and thoughtful response to each one.
237 pages, Kindle Edition
Published August 1, 2023
102 people are currently reading
608 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 76 reviews
December 14, 2023
I cannot think of a more relevant and powerful book addressing the church and same-sex sexuality!
Preston Sprinkle takes 21 conversations that are commonly used to support same sex attraction and responds with the ultimate grace and truth. He doesn’t waiver in either area, he has clearly does his homework in the scriptures and in relationship with gay people.
The last conversation alone is worth the purchase of the book. The truth is this - we cannot call gay people to a life of celibacy while at the same time not following through with the promise Jesus made in Mark 10:29-30 to be brothers, sisters, fathers, mothers to each other in THIS AGE.
We as the church MUST step up and live as the community described in Acts and other early church records or else what are we?
This book made me pause, it made me angry with the falleness of the world both inside and outside the church. But mostly it made want to know more about how God calls us to live and how he desires us to love others.
Preston Sprinkle takes 21 conversations that are commonly used to support same sex attraction and responds with the ultimate grace and truth. He doesn’t waiver in either area, he has clearly does his homework in the scriptures and in relationship with gay people.
The last conversation alone is worth the purchase of the book. The truth is this - we cannot call gay people to a life of celibacy while at the same time not following through with the promise Jesus made in Mark 10:29-30 to be brothers, sisters, fathers, mothers to each other in THIS AGE.
We as the church MUST step up and live as the community described in Acts and other early church records or else what are we?
This book made me pause, it made me angry with the falleness of the world both inside and outside the church. But mostly it made want to know more about how God calls us to live and how he desires us to love others.
July 8, 2023
I have and advanced readers copy, so things might change in this book from this copy to the public print of it. I have admired Preston Sprinkle’s work and ministry for a few years now and this book does not disappoint. Each chapter really helps understand and think through arguments for same-sex marriage, and a biblical response to it. I do long for the chapters to be a little longer and a little bit more in depth, but understand that this book would have been 500 pages long and no one would’ve read it. Just kidding Preston. However, Preston does provide many links to blogs and other writings of his for further reading into the conversations that he provides.
As Preston desires, this book makes me think wider and love deeper.
As Preston desires, this book makes me think wider and love deeper.
August 14, 2023
4.5 rounded up
This really is such a great book - Sprinkle does a fantastic job shedding wisdom, insight, grace, his years of experience engaging in these conversations, with the humility (he admits at several points where he got it wrong in the past or corrected his view) that is so needed when it comes to this discussion.
The first two chapters lay such a helpful foundation for HOW to have conversations on contentious issues (which he embodies throughout the book), and then he articulates the historically Christian sexual ethic thoughtfully, succinctly, and convincingly in chapter 2.
Those who would prefer simple dismissals, shut downs, or put downs of any number of these arguments will be disappointed (but shouldn’t be). Sprinkle steel-man’s (rather than straw man’s) each argument, shows points of agreement, and then critiques each one from the historically Christian view. He offers a wealth of scholarly and theological research in a concise and understandable way.
I only had one or two minor points of disagreement - where I might have worded something differently or added something theologically. But overall, I’m grateful to Sprinkle, his friends and editors in the gay community who reviewed the book and offered feed back, and for the thoughtful, biblical, and historically Christian resource this provides.
This really is such a great book - Sprinkle does a fantastic job shedding wisdom, insight, grace, his years of experience engaging in these conversations, with the humility (he admits at several points where he got it wrong in the past or corrected his view) that is so needed when it comes to this discussion.
The first two chapters lay such a helpful foundation for HOW to have conversations on contentious issues (which he embodies throughout the book), and then he articulates the historically Christian sexual ethic thoughtfully, succinctly, and convincingly in chapter 2.
Those who would prefer simple dismissals, shut downs, or put downs of any number of these arguments will be disappointed (but shouldn’t be). Sprinkle steel-man’s (rather than straw man’s) each argument, shows points of agreement, and then critiques each one from the historically Christian view. He offers a wealth of scholarly and theological research in a concise and understandable way.
I only had one or two minor points of disagreement - where I might have worded something differently or added something theologically. But overall, I’m grateful to Sprinkle, his friends and editors in the gay community who reviewed the book and offered feed back, and for the thoughtful, biblical, and historically Christian resource this provides.
July 3, 2023
When it seems both sides of this debate are at a stalemate with one side fixed on the prohibition passages and the other convinced that love = affirmation, Sprinkle, once again, delivers a biblically-rooted, winsomely-worded defense of traditional (biblical) marriage. This book is a must-read for anyone who desires to think biblically about marriage, and is willing to understand the strongest and most common affirming arguments that are being espoused today. It’s crucial that the church develop a biblical apologetic around marriage and have the ability to present it in a winsome manner so that when the message is rejected, it is rejected because of the content of the message and not because of our delivery (1 Peter 3:13-17). Sprinkle exemplifies this model, and every theological truth he presents is permeated with care and compassion. Another absolutely brilliant piece of work by Sprinkle.
August 2, 2023
I received an Advance Reading Copy in exchange for my preordering the book, as well as my review. I also listen to Preston Sprinkle’s podcast, Theology in the Raw regularly and am a member of his Patreon.
As an avid listener to Sprinkle’s podcast, I was already familiar with some arguments laid out in this book, and while I agree with Preston on many theological issues, I also disagree with him on others, my goal in this review is to try to be as fair as possible.
The author opens the book with 2 “Foundations” as he calls them. One is the viewpoint from which he wrote the book and how he hopes the book is applied. The second is the foundational argument in which he lays out his view of how the Bible defines marriage, and of which he references in his responses to the following conversations in the remainder of the book. One quote (from the advance reading copy) that I think summarizes the whole ethos of the book lies in the second foundation:
“Examining the reasonableness of our beliefs is important; no one should believe something that lacks intellectual and theological credibility, and the rest of this book will test that credibility. But if we leave this chapter behind and focus on gaining ammunition to win the next argument, our beliefs won’t be as compelling and we’ll end up fostering unprofitable conversations.”
As for the arguments themselves, the author does a good job of “steel-manning” (as apposed to straw-manning) common arguments that affirm same-sex marriage, stating points of agreement with the argument, and then responding to how they fit with his view of the Bible’s definition of traditional marriage as laid out in the second foundation, mentioned earlier.
When the author is at his best, he is able to appeal to his definition of traditional marriage in his response, while also picking apart problems with the affirming argument. A (very) few of the author’s responses seem to fall flat as he relies only on his definition as a rebuttal, while providing little critique (in the form of statistics or historical precedent) of the affirming argument itself. However, this only happens in one or two of the 21 conversations.
Overall I enjoyed this book, as it gave many things to think about. Most importantly this author comes to the table with love and respect for everyone this discussion affects. Often, he even critiques the Church’s historical attitude toward the LGB community. While this book’s title may seem to give the idea that his book is to be ammunition for Christians to sling at the LGB community, it is far from that and is a thoughtful and loving response to many questions people have today regarding what the Bible has to say about marriage.
As an avid listener to Sprinkle’s podcast, I was already familiar with some arguments laid out in this book, and while I agree with Preston on many theological issues, I also disagree with him on others, my goal in this review is to try to be as fair as possible.
The author opens the book with 2 “Foundations” as he calls them. One is the viewpoint from which he wrote the book and how he hopes the book is applied. The second is the foundational argument in which he lays out his view of how the Bible defines marriage, and of which he references in his responses to the following conversations in the remainder of the book. One quote (from the advance reading copy) that I think summarizes the whole ethos of the book lies in the second foundation:
“Examining the reasonableness of our beliefs is important; no one should believe something that lacks intellectual and theological credibility, and the rest of this book will test that credibility. But if we leave this chapter behind and focus on gaining ammunition to win the next argument, our beliefs won’t be as compelling and we’ll end up fostering unprofitable conversations.”
As for the arguments themselves, the author does a good job of “steel-manning” (as apposed to straw-manning) common arguments that affirm same-sex marriage, stating points of agreement with the argument, and then responding to how they fit with his view of the Bible’s definition of traditional marriage as laid out in the second foundation, mentioned earlier.
When the author is at his best, he is able to appeal to his definition of traditional marriage in his response, while also picking apart problems with the affirming argument. A (very) few of the author’s responses seem to fall flat as he relies only on his definition as a rebuttal, while providing little critique (in the form of statistics or historical precedent) of the affirming argument itself. However, this only happens in one or two of the 21 conversations.
Overall I enjoyed this book, as it gave many things to think about. Most importantly this author comes to the table with love and respect for everyone this discussion affects. Often, he even critiques the Church’s historical attitude toward the LGB community. While this book’s title may seem to give the idea that his book is to be ammunition for Christians to sling at the LGB community, it is far from that and is a thoughtful and loving response to many questions people have today regarding what the Bible has to say about marriage.
August 1, 2023
Preston Sprinkle has produced an incredible resource for the church that can serve as a guide to having conversations around same-sex marriage well. One of the strongest parts of the book is the way Sprinkle shows evidence of having listened well to the questions that are raised in response to the historically Christian view of marriage and sexuality. You can see this in Sprinkle’s ability to articulate objections the questions clearly and respectfully.
In Does the Bible Support Same-Sex Marriage?, Sprinkle provides two foundations to having this conversation well. The first is a guide to have a fruitful conversation, which is an increasingly elusive art. The second is a clear articulation of the historically Christian view of marriage. After laying out these core elements, Sprinkle moves to articulate 21 critiques of the historically Christian view. Sprinkle then articulates points of agreement he shares with the critique before moving into a response to the conversation that is happening. In doing so, Sprinkle models how to have a conversation well. Sprinkle displays a desire to represent the best questions/critiques and scholars rightly and fairly, rather than cherry picking easy targets to bolster his argument. Sprinkle restates the critiques in such a way that shows he has listened well to those who hold different positions. His generous articulation of points of agreement also models an important part of conversation: rather than listening to critique, everyone in a conversation benefit from listening to understand and find common ground. In the response to the conversations, Sprinkle also models how to disagree well.
So, if you are willing to slow down and listen, buy this book. Read it for the content as Sprinkle puts his rigorous scholarship on display. Read it to learn how to disagree well. But most importantly, read it and wrestle through how you will better love and engage with friends, family, and brothers and sisters in Christ.
In Does the Bible Support Same-Sex Marriage?, Sprinkle provides two foundations to having this conversation well. The first is a guide to have a fruitful conversation, which is an increasingly elusive art. The second is a clear articulation of the historically Christian view of marriage. After laying out these core elements, Sprinkle moves to articulate 21 critiques of the historically Christian view. Sprinkle then articulates points of agreement he shares with the critique before moving into a response to the conversation that is happening. In doing so, Sprinkle models how to have a conversation well. Sprinkle displays a desire to represent the best questions/critiques and scholars rightly and fairly, rather than cherry picking easy targets to bolster his argument. Sprinkle restates the critiques in such a way that shows he has listened well to those who hold different positions. His generous articulation of points of agreement also models an important part of conversation: rather than listening to critique, everyone in a conversation benefit from listening to understand and find common ground. In the response to the conversations, Sprinkle also models how to disagree well.
So, if you are willing to slow down and listen, buy this book. Read it for the content as Sprinkle puts his rigorous scholarship on display. Read it to learn how to disagree well. But most importantly, read it and wrestle through how you will better love and engage with friends, family, and brothers and sisters in Christ.
December 14, 2023
This book is great in so many ways, but lacking in another. Ultimately I'd give it a 4.5, but in rounding I've decided to make it 5.
Pros:
Written with a foundational message that we need to love, listen to, understand, and include our gay brothers and sisters in the Church.
Gives a brief synopsis of the various arguments for and against same-sex marriage claims
Chooses to show where there is truth and convincing aspects of pro same-sex marriage arguments, and even takes the church to task for being lazy over certain parts of this
Gives the broadest, most holistic treatise in favor of a historical Christian view of marriage that I've read
Con:
The author clearly tried to make this book accessible and not overly long. However, in a few of the 21 questions, I'm left unconvinced by his argument (even when I agree). At those times, it feels like the author leaned too much toward brevity / summary. I'm aware of the greater detail and depth of argument that makes it convincing, but it stops too short on the page, in my opinion. For this reason, I wavered between bumping this down to 4 stars (I wish there was a 4.5 option), but ultimately felt all the pros outweighed this con.
Pros:
Written with a foundational message that we need to love, listen to, understand, and include our gay brothers and sisters in the Church.
Gives a brief synopsis of the various arguments for and against same-sex marriage claims
Chooses to show where there is truth and convincing aspects of pro same-sex marriage arguments, and even takes the church to task for being lazy over certain parts of this
Gives the broadest, most holistic treatise in favor of a historical Christian view of marriage that I've read
Con:
The author clearly tried to make this book accessible and not overly long. However, in a few of the 21 questions, I'm left unconvinced by his argument (even when I agree). At those times, it feels like the author leaned too much toward brevity / summary. I'm aware of the greater detail and depth of argument that makes it convincing, but it stops too short on the page, in my opinion. For this reason, I wavered between bumping this down to 4 stars (I wish there was a 4.5 option), but ultimately felt all the pros outweighed this con.
March 27, 2025
I genuinely thought this book was SO good! It gave me a further perspective into 1) what biblical marriage is 2) what the Bible says about same-sex attraction (it’s says a lot) and 3) a greater understanding of what gay, lesbian, and bisexual people actually go through when it comes to the Church and how the Church has failed and oppressed them in so many ways. This book is such a good resource and it has further equipped me for conversations with a growing community in America that needs Jesus too! 10/10 I would recommend reading or atleast having on your shelf to refer back to
February 20, 2024
A helpful evaluation of affirming arguments
Preston Sprinkle has long made clear that he affirms a historical Christian sexual ethic: that any sex outside the bounds of monogamous, heterosexual marriage is sin. In Does the Bible Support Same Sex Marriage?, he evaluates what he considers to be the 21 strongest arguments in favour of same sex marriage. It is a helpful read, which introduces the reader to some affirming arguments that they might not have yet encountered—or that might have stumped them in the past.
Easily the best chapter in the book is the second, where he articulates a biblical definition of marriage as the cornerstone of this discussion.
At times, he stretches the bounds of credulity in trying to show the strengths of the arguments he addresses, but he has a stated purpose for doing this, as he explains in chapter 1.
As always, Sprinkle models compassion, even if there are times when he seems to walk a fine line between nuance and obfuscation.
Sprinkle unapologetically affirms that any sexual activity outside of marriage is sin—and since sex is a major aspect of marriage (generally speaking), the Bible does not, in fact, support same sex marriage. The book would benefit, however, from a chapter detailing what repentance from sexual sin looks like. This may seem obvious, but in a book that shows that what should be obvious often isn’t, it would be a helpful addition.
I recommend the book for those who wish to understand how the Bible defines marriage or who wrestle with some of the arguments in presents. It will do nothing to silence Sprinkle’s critics, but it will give the honest reader food for thought in a difficult conversation.
Preston Sprinkle has long made clear that he affirms a historical Christian sexual ethic: that any sex outside the bounds of monogamous, heterosexual marriage is sin. In Does the Bible Support Same Sex Marriage?, he evaluates what he considers to be the 21 strongest arguments in favour of same sex marriage. It is a helpful read, which introduces the reader to some affirming arguments that they might not have yet encountered—or that might have stumped them in the past.
Easily the best chapter in the book is the second, where he articulates a biblical definition of marriage as the cornerstone of this discussion.
At times, he stretches the bounds of credulity in trying to show the strengths of the arguments he addresses, but he has a stated purpose for doing this, as he explains in chapter 1.
As always, Sprinkle models compassion, even if there are times when he seems to walk a fine line between nuance and obfuscation.
Sprinkle unapologetically affirms that any sexual activity outside of marriage is sin—and since sex is a major aspect of marriage (generally speaking), the Bible does not, in fact, support same sex marriage. The book would benefit, however, from a chapter detailing what repentance from sexual sin looks like. This may seem obvious, but in a book that shows that what should be obvious often isn’t, it would be a helpful addition.
I recommend the book for those who wish to understand how the Bible defines marriage or who wrestle with some of the arguments in presents. It will do nothing to silence Sprinkle’s critics, but it will give the honest reader food for thought in a difficult conversation.
December 2, 2025
4.5⭐️
I went into this book not sure what to think about it and trying to figure out what I thought of the author Preston Sprinkle. I had heard some random questioning of him and wanted to find out what his writings were all about. And I am pleasantly surprised to say that this book is great!
(Keep in mind I listened to the audio book with Preston reading it)
I think what I love about this book is his balance of intellect and compassion. Clearly there is a lot of intellectual argumentation, but he never sacrifices the soul of any person over an intellectual argument.
I love his talk in marriage idolatry and how that can be one of the root causes of some of the issues we're having as a church. I also love how he addresses the traditional view of marriage as the focal point to always go back to!
This book taught me a lot, even thought it's short. I think it's a book a lot of conservative evangelicals need to read. We have to learn how to operate in truth and love with rhetoric LGB community. Will for sure be reading more of Preston's stuff on my journey to learning how to love people like Jesus loves people!
I went into this book not sure what to think about it and trying to figure out what I thought of the author Preston Sprinkle. I had heard some random questioning of him and wanted to find out what his writings were all about. And I am pleasantly surprised to say that this book is great!
(Keep in mind I listened to the audio book with Preston reading it)
I think what I love about this book is his balance of intellect and compassion. Clearly there is a lot of intellectual argumentation, but he never sacrifices the soul of any person over an intellectual argument.
I love his talk in marriage idolatry and how that can be one of the root causes of some of the issues we're having as a church. I also love how he addresses the traditional view of marriage as the focal point to always go back to!
This book taught me a lot, even thought it's short. I think it's a book a lot of conservative evangelicals need to read. We have to learn how to operate in truth and love with rhetoric LGB community. Will for sure be reading more of Preston's stuff on my journey to learning how to love people like Jesus loves people!
August 7, 2024
This took me a while to read and some of the discussions were a little repetitive but overall it was very good. It encouraged me to love others well just as Christ loves us! “If we’re not loving the way Jesus did, then we’re not actually being truthful. Instead of “love the sinner and hate the sin”, let’s love the sinner, hate our own sin, and invite fellow sinners to walk with us arm in arm, toward the only one who knew no sin”.
August 7, 2023
While not a bad book by any means, most of the arguments that were addressed were about same-sex *sex* and not marriage, which the title of the book indicates. However, a few of the latter chapters get to it and are pretty compelling. I am looking forward to reading more of Preston's books with the hopes of seeing him go more in-depth.
July 22, 2024
A really helpful book spoken in love with the goal of embodying both grace and truth. The arguments were readily accessible to the everyday person (aka non-academy). I really liked how each chapter addressed a current affirming Christian argument. This makes for easy referencing later on.
June 5, 2025
I greatly admire and appreciate the way Preston Sprinkle approached these conversations. He first made a sincere effort to understand each argument used to defend same-sex marriage, to acknowledge all possible points of agreement and to thoroughly research their claims and conclusions. He explains how he landed in support of a traditional definition of marriage after a great deal of research. Part of what he does really well is call on anyone who takes that position to have a Christlike approach to conversations with people when they disagree and to create the kind of loving community in which single people can thrive and embrace a scriptural ethic of sexuality regardless of their sexual orientation.
Read
February 6, 2024Very thorough. I'd have to think more, but I don't think he covers all the arguments out there. And I would have to look closer to evaluate his work with the arguments
April 8, 2024
This man hasn't written a bad book. Preston does an excellent job covering all the various interpretations as usual. This is a great starting place for studying LGBT inclusion in the church!
May 8, 2024
I love Preston Sprinkle. He is one of the best theological AND pastoral voices of our generation. So much wisdom and love written in these pages.
August 25, 2023
Written so well. Shows multiple sides arguments on it. Ddoesnt push hard any certain direction. Love people.
March 27, 2025
Let's start with my favourite quote from the ENTIRE book (and trust me, this book is very quotable. You cannot go a chapter without underlining, boxing or starring something):
"Honestly, when people feel the need to resort to dehumanizing slogans, or when they can't agree with a single aspect of the other person's point of view, I start to wonder if they're compensating for unexamined weaknesses in their own view." (p.33)
Preston has done a masterful job in being able to weave together doctrine and conversation into one book, especially given the volatile nature of this topic: same-sex relationships. His tone is irenic, non-combative and extremely readable, even though at times you can see the passion and emotion spill out over onto the pages (pp.112, 164-165 and especially Conversation 21, which, in my view, is the most emotional chapter of the entire book).
What this shows is how deeply passionate he is about this issue, and it seems that the main takeaway from the book is that traditional Christians (those who affirm the historically Christian view of marriage between male and female) should treat LGB Christians with respect and Christlikeness (see Conversation 21). He’s not compromising in saying this, however (as he makes clear throughout the book). He wants to give LGB Christians a voice (those with the orientation/attraction, that is. cf. pp.14, 129, 225-227). He wants them to be heard.
"Learning how to navigate the biblical and theological arguments surrounding same-sex marriage is important, but if that's all you do, it's woefully insufficient. Christ-followers are called to embody the presence of Christ in this conversation. Don't read this book unless you're also willing to live a life that eagerly welcomes gay people into it." (p.16)
In other words, if all you or I are interested in, is just the theology, then this book isn't really for you. To use Preston's words (though in a different context), "...please return this [book] and pick up a different one. Amazon has a great return policy—you'll get your money back." (p.12)
Preston's main aim isn't to "arm you with arguments so you can go pummel someone with your viewpoint and destroy theirs in the process" but rather to "embody a kind of posture that I think is most conducive to fruitful conversations" (pp.23-24). Now, coming from a more conservative background, this sounded to me like staunch liberalism, until I realised that what he was saying was true. There's nothing inherently wrong with his approach. The issue isn't Preston's approach, it's my lack of exposure to such an approach.
As such, this book has really helped me to understand that, "The quality of our beliefs is obviously important. But the manner in which we hold to those beliefs can be equally important. Sometimes how we believe is just as important as what we believe" (p.18).
He's not necessarily interested in being right (though important) as he is in having a "profitable conversation" (p.17). A very different tone from some books I've read or skimmed through.
Overview:
In the first two chapters (Foundation 1 and 2) Preston deals with how to have a fruitful conversation and what the historically Christian view of marriage is, respectively (DO NOT skip these chapters, p.15). His motivation is to show "how we should go about having these conversations—or any contentious conversation."
After discussion in some detail about how people typically come to belief (pp.18-23), he then gives 6 ways in which we can have a "fruitful conversation" (pp.24-30). We don't typically arrive at our beliefs by "marinating our prefrontal cortexes in a bunch of facts" (p.23) nor do we sit "down and [wade] through all the arguments for and against" some specific viewpoint "to come to [a] rational conclusion built on evidence" that some way of thinking or belief is wrong (p.21). Rather, we make decisions based on intuition (pp.20-22).
In the 2nd chapter (Foundation 2, which is BY FAR the longest), Sprinkle gives 5 reasons why he believes the historically Christian view of marriage is true, along with "scriptural and theological support" (p.36). His 5 reasons are that:
1) Sex Difference is an Intrinsic Part of What Marriage Is (pp.36-43)
2) Same-Sex Sexual Relationships are Always Prohibited (pp.43-46, he argues that unlike many things that Scripture seems to speak with a forked-tongue on, same-sex marriage isn't one of them, pp.44-46)
3) The Multi-ethnic Global Church Affirms the Historically Christian View (pp.46-50)
4) Marriage and Sex Are Not Essential to Human Flourishing (pp.50-52). He gives the example of Jesus (p.51).
5) Marriage has a Purpose (pp.52-61) among which are symbolism, procreation and companionship.
I would recommend reading the relevant pages to understand the scope of his reasoning. I can't do them justice in this review (even though I'm considering whether this even is a review at this point lol).
What ensues are 21 chapters (or as Preston dubs them, "Conversations") that address the most common reasons some use to affirm same -sex relationships or marriage (pp.14-15). It must be borne in mind at all times, that Preston uses the word "gay" to refer to those "'attracted to the same sex,' regardless of whether such persons are having gay sex or even believe in same-sex marriage." Further, he adamantly declares that "Nothing more should be read into my use of the terms gay and lesbian than that I'm referring to a person who is attracted to the same sex." (p.14, cf. p.129).
Preston does a remarkable job at representing the opposing views with fairness. Each Conversation follows an easy-to-remember format: Summary, Points of Agreement and Response (with Conversation 21 having a surprising, albeit practical, twist). The chapters are not overly long, but capture the essence of what needs to be said and then moves on (see, for example, p.208). There are some technical chapters, which may require multiple reading sessions to grasp. These are outlined in the Preface (p.15).
Overall, the book is highly readable and conversational in its approach. I do have a few reservations about the book, but these are nothing serious and are practically insignificant and nit-picky for this review. Preston delivers on the purpose of why he wrote this book. Plus, if you're someone like me who loves collecting and storing up quotes (a logophile or bibliophile), then this book is just for you. So. Many. Gems (as you may have seen from my review)!
If you're just entering into the debate/discussion/conversation over same-sex relationships in the church, this is a book I'd certainly recommend as an introductory-level book, before you get into the more technical discussions out there (Robert Gagnon, The Bible and Homosexual Practice: Texts and Hermeneutics; Preston Sprinkle ed., Two Views on Homosexuality, the Bible, and the Church; Thomas Schmidt, Straight & Narrow?: Compassion & Clarity in the Homosexuality Debate; Robert M. Springett, Homosexuality in History and the Scriptures: Some Historical and Biblical Perspectives on Homosexuality; Sexuality: Contemporary Issues from a Biblical Perspective, chapter 16; Roy E. Gane; Nicholas P. Miller; H. Peter Swanson eds., Homosexuality, Marriage, and the Church: Biblical, Counseling, and Religious Liberty Issues etc.).
"Honestly, when people feel the need to resort to dehumanizing slogans, or when they can't agree with a single aspect of the other person's point of view, I start to wonder if they're compensating for unexamined weaknesses in their own view." (p.33)
Preston has done a masterful job in being able to weave together doctrine and conversation into one book, especially given the volatile nature of this topic: same-sex relationships. His tone is irenic, non-combative and extremely readable, even though at times you can see the passion and emotion spill out over onto the pages (pp.112, 164-165 and especially Conversation 21, which, in my view, is the most emotional chapter of the entire book).
What this shows is how deeply passionate he is about this issue, and it seems that the main takeaway from the book is that traditional Christians (those who affirm the historically Christian view of marriage between male and female) should treat LGB Christians with respect and Christlikeness (see Conversation 21). He’s not compromising in saying this, however (as he makes clear throughout the book). He wants to give LGB Christians a voice (those with the orientation/attraction, that is. cf. pp.14, 129, 225-227). He wants them to be heard.
"Learning how to navigate the biblical and theological arguments surrounding same-sex marriage is important, but if that's all you do, it's woefully insufficient. Christ-followers are called to embody the presence of Christ in this conversation. Don't read this book unless you're also willing to live a life that eagerly welcomes gay people into it." (p.16)
In other words, if all you or I are interested in, is just the theology, then this book isn't really for you. To use Preston's words (though in a different context), "...please return this [book] and pick up a different one. Amazon has a great return policy—you'll get your money back." (p.12)
Preston's main aim isn't to "arm you with arguments so you can go pummel someone with your viewpoint and destroy theirs in the process" but rather to "embody a kind of posture that I think is most conducive to fruitful conversations" (pp.23-24). Now, coming from a more conservative background, this sounded to me like staunch liberalism, until I realised that what he was saying was true. There's nothing inherently wrong with his approach. The issue isn't Preston's approach, it's my lack of exposure to such an approach.
As such, this book has really helped me to understand that, "The quality of our beliefs is obviously important. But the manner in which we hold to those beliefs can be equally important. Sometimes how we believe is just as important as what we believe" (p.18).
He's not necessarily interested in being right (though important) as he is in having a "profitable conversation" (p.17). A very different tone from some books I've read or skimmed through.
Overview:
In the first two chapters (Foundation 1 and 2) Preston deals with how to have a fruitful conversation and what the historically Christian view of marriage is, respectively (DO NOT skip these chapters, p.15). His motivation is to show "how we should go about having these conversations—or any contentious conversation."
After discussion in some detail about how people typically come to belief (pp.18-23), he then gives 6 ways in which we can have a "fruitful conversation" (pp.24-30). We don't typically arrive at our beliefs by "marinating our prefrontal cortexes in a bunch of facts" (p.23) nor do we sit "down and [wade] through all the arguments for and against" some specific viewpoint "to come to [a] rational conclusion built on evidence" that some way of thinking or belief is wrong (p.21). Rather, we make decisions based on intuition (pp.20-22).
In the 2nd chapter (Foundation 2, which is BY FAR the longest), Sprinkle gives 5 reasons why he believes the historically Christian view of marriage is true, along with "scriptural and theological support" (p.36). His 5 reasons are that:
1) Sex Difference is an Intrinsic Part of What Marriage Is (pp.36-43)
2) Same-Sex Sexual Relationships are Always Prohibited (pp.43-46, he argues that unlike many things that Scripture seems to speak with a forked-tongue on, same-sex marriage isn't one of them, pp.44-46)
3) The Multi-ethnic Global Church Affirms the Historically Christian View (pp.46-50)
4) Marriage and Sex Are Not Essential to Human Flourishing (pp.50-52). He gives the example of Jesus (p.51).
5) Marriage has a Purpose (pp.52-61) among which are symbolism, procreation and companionship.
I would recommend reading the relevant pages to understand the scope of his reasoning. I can't do them justice in this review (even though I'm considering whether this even is a review at this point lol).
What ensues are 21 chapters (or as Preston dubs them, "Conversations") that address the most common reasons some use to affirm same -sex relationships or marriage (pp.14-15). It must be borne in mind at all times, that Preston uses the word "gay" to refer to those "'attracted to the same sex,' regardless of whether such persons are having gay sex or even believe in same-sex marriage." Further, he adamantly declares that "Nothing more should be read into my use of the terms gay and lesbian than that I'm referring to a person who is attracted to the same sex." (p.14, cf. p.129).
Preston does a remarkable job at representing the opposing views with fairness. Each Conversation follows an easy-to-remember format: Summary, Points of Agreement and Response (with Conversation 21 having a surprising, albeit practical, twist). The chapters are not overly long, but capture the essence of what needs to be said and then moves on (see, for example, p.208). There are some technical chapters, which may require multiple reading sessions to grasp. These are outlined in the Preface (p.15).
Overall, the book is highly readable and conversational in its approach. I do have a few reservations about the book, but these are nothing serious and are practically insignificant and nit-picky for this review. Preston delivers on the purpose of why he wrote this book. Plus, if you're someone like me who loves collecting and storing up quotes (a logophile or bibliophile), then this book is just for you. So. Many. Gems (as you may have seen from my review)!
If you're just entering into the debate/discussion/conversation over same-sex relationships in the church, this is a book I'd certainly recommend as an introductory-level book, before you get into the more technical discussions out there (Robert Gagnon, The Bible and Homosexual Practice: Texts and Hermeneutics; Preston Sprinkle ed., Two Views on Homosexuality, the Bible, and the Church; Thomas Schmidt, Straight & Narrow?: Compassion & Clarity in the Homosexuality Debate; Robert M. Springett, Homosexuality in History and the Scriptures: Some Historical and Biblical Perspectives on Homosexuality; Sexuality: Contemporary Issues from a Biblical Perspective, chapter 16; Roy E. Gane; Nicholas P. Miller; H. Peter Swanson eds., Homosexuality, Marriage, and the Church: Biblical, Counseling, and Religious Liberty Issues etc.).
October 6, 2023
This is a great resource for churches as it puts all of the conversations and arguments into one place that is easily accessible!
- Conversation 21- Traditional sexual ethic is unlivable for LGB people
- This is a really important argument and one for us to wrestle with:
- How we talk about marriage, are we leaving space for LGB people? How we do small groups? How we talk about a fulfilled life? Family? Are we leaving space and encouraging those trying to be chaste for the sake of the Kingdom?
- “Who’s going to care for me when I get old?”- we are supposed to be a family! Are we?
- Conversation 20- agree to disagree issue
- The agree to disagree argument is based on romans 14, and specifically about monogamous same-sex marriage
- Acts 15 makes it clear that sexual morality is essential to the Christian faith, not a tertiary issue
- And all of the NT says the same
- Preston probably goes slightly harder than I would on whether someone can interpret scripture to deem same-sex monogamous marriage as not sinful and still be under the large tent of “Christian” (I would lean yes, though I think they’re wrong)
- Though, I know of very few who hold the line there and then don’t start to compromise on sexual sin outside of a marriage between two people
- Conversation 19- Love is love
- It is right to affirm the call to truly love in an agape sense as Christians
- This argument reduces love to sex though
- Conversation 18- Christians are hypocrites
- This is true and we should own and repent what we need to
- However, this has no bearing on whether same sex marriage is okay
- “There is a difference between churches that struggle with sin and celebrating sin”
- This is a fair argument, clearly there are progressive churches that celebrate sin
- However, it would be fair to argue that at times conservative churches celebrate the sins of gluttony, consumerism, greed, nationalism
- Conversation 17- right side of history
- Not every change in history is good
- “Sexual ethics is about moral and immoral behavior, skin pigmentation is not a moral category”
- To compare sexual ethics and racism is problematic at best, offensive at worst
- Conversation 16- born this way
- “Inborn desires does not justify behavior”
- “Sexual attraction is both nurture and nature”
- Sexual attraction is too complex to be the foundation of whether a behavior is sin
- Conversation 15- harm to gay people
- “Sounds similar to many purity messages”
- This chapter does do a good job addressing how important it is to fight for love and care and fight against conversion therapy
- Conversation 14- trajectory argument
- There’s a pretty well known book about this “slaves, women, and homosexuals” that makes a similar argument to Preston
- “In fact, if a trajectory for sexual ethics does exist it is towards greater strictness”
- Conversation 13- inclusion of gentiles
- Never knew that Acts 15 was referring back to Leviticus, fascinating and super helpful
- Conversation 12- applying sabbath principle to same-sex marriage
- I can genuinely say I have never once heard this one before, mind blown
- “Just because one command is given exceptions in Scripture doesn’t mean other ones are”
- Absolutely, leads down a path where people are making exceptions for grave sins
- It for sure over idolizes marriage/sex, which Preston points out rightly the church has done also. But, sex/marriage is not needed for human flourishing.
- A lot of the conversations come down to valuing experience/desires before Scripture. We would be right to remember John Wesley’s quadrilateral, where reason/experience/tradition are all used AFTER the foundation of Scripture to form our theology.
- Conversation 11
- To argue 1 corinthians 7 for same-sex marriage is a faulty argument for a few reasons, but mostly because to say someone has a desire and should be able to act on it because it’s “better not to burn” leads to a lot of not good places
- Conversation 10-
- There was remarkable alignment in jewish world on same-sex behavior, Jesus did not even need to mention it
- Conversation 9- Paul not misogynistic like people think.
- Paul bases his arguments in Creation, not culture
- grateful for a book that has all these resources right here to go back to
- Chapter 8 is the argument used the most often, and I appreciate Preston’s quick and simple explanation of the passage meaning “men who have sex with men”
- “But I'm unaware of any passage where a behavior is considered holy simply because some people have a really strong and unchangeable desire to engage in it.”
- one flesh argument is one I heard recently
- I appreciate his point that “biblical marriage” can be an unhelpful term. I wonder what a good alternative is?
- Conversation 4 is the one I’ve found to be the most convincing on the affirming side, and it was encouraging to see how well Preston did with it
Here are my thoughts on the first section!
- I really appreciate Foundation 1, I think it’s so essential for Christians to think through not just what we do but how we do it.
- The idea of steel manning vs straw manning an argument is a great example of that. It both honors the person/people you are debating with and it’s pragmatically more helpful!
- “So I'm not arguing against being bold and courageous. I'm only suggesting a more holistically Christian manner in which we boldly communicate and embody the truth.”- Amen!
- Starting with “what is marriage” as the foundation(in foundation 2) is way more helpful than starting with prohibition passages
- Didn’t know all the early church writings. An argument I heard often (and held weight with me) was there weren’t same-sex relationships like we see now in Bible times and those early church writings help to show that’s not true
- I think we do a good job of talking about marriage and sex not being essential theologically, but I think we fall short in our ecclesiology at Harris creek. Much of how we do church seems to show marriage to be essential
- It’s hard, because the reality is 90% of our adults are married or on their way to marriage, but I do think it’s a place we can grow
- Conversation 21- Traditional sexual ethic is unlivable for LGB people
- This is a really important argument and one for us to wrestle with:
- How we talk about marriage, are we leaving space for LGB people? How we do small groups? How we talk about a fulfilled life? Family? Are we leaving space and encouraging those trying to be chaste for the sake of the Kingdom?
- “Who’s going to care for me when I get old?”- we are supposed to be a family! Are we?
- Conversation 20- agree to disagree issue
- The agree to disagree argument is based on romans 14, and specifically about monogamous same-sex marriage
- Acts 15 makes it clear that sexual morality is essential to the Christian faith, not a tertiary issue
- And all of the NT says the same
- Preston probably goes slightly harder than I would on whether someone can interpret scripture to deem same-sex monogamous marriage as not sinful and still be under the large tent of “Christian” (I would lean yes, though I think they’re wrong)
- Though, I know of very few who hold the line there and then don’t start to compromise on sexual sin outside of a marriage between two people
- Conversation 19- Love is love
- It is right to affirm the call to truly love in an agape sense as Christians
- This argument reduces love to sex though
- Conversation 18- Christians are hypocrites
- This is true and we should own and repent what we need to
- However, this has no bearing on whether same sex marriage is okay
- “There is a difference between churches that struggle with sin and celebrating sin”
- This is a fair argument, clearly there are progressive churches that celebrate sin
- However, it would be fair to argue that at times conservative churches celebrate the sins of gluttony, consumerism, greed, nationalism
- Conversation 17- right side of history
- Not every change in history is good
- “Sexual ethics is about moral and immoral behavior, skin pigmentation is not a moral category”
- To compare sexual ethics and racism is problematic at best, offensive at worst
- Conversation 16- born this way
- “Inborn desires does not justify behavior”
- “Sexual attraction is both nurture and nature”
- Sexual attraction is too complex to be the foundation of whether a behavior is sin
- Conversation 15- harm to gay people
- “Sounds similar to many purity messages”
- This chapter does do a good job addressing how important it is to fight for love and care and fight against conversion therapy
- Conversation 14- trajectory argument
- There’s a pretty well known book about this “slaves, women, and homosexuals” that makes a similar argument to Preston
- “In fact, if a trajectory for sexual ethics does exist it is towards greater strictness”
- Conversation 13- inclusion of gentiles
- Never knew that Acts 15 was referring back to Leviticus, fascinating and super helpful
- Conversation 12- applying sabbath principle to same-sex marriage
- I can genuinely say I have never once heard this one before, mind blown
- “Just because one command is given exceptions in Scripture doesn’t mean other ones are”
- Absolutely, leads down a path where people are making exceptions for grave sins
- It for sure over idolizes marriage/sex, which Preston points out rightly the church has done also. But, sex/marriage is not needed for human flourishing.
- A lot of the conversations come down to valuing experience/desires before Scripture. We would be right to remember John Wesley’s quadrilateral, where reason/experience/tradition are all used AFTER the foundation of Scripture to form our theology.
- Conversation 11
- To argue 1 corinthians 7 for same-sex marriage is a faulty argument for a few reasons, but mostly because to say someone has a desire and should be able to act on it because it’s “better not to burn” leads to a lot of not good places
- Conversation 10-
- There was remarkable alignment in jewish world on same-sex behavior, Jesus did not even need to mention it
- Conversation 9- Paul not misogynistic like people think.
- Paul bases his arguments in Creation, not culture
- grateful for a book that has all these resources right here to go back to
- Chapter 8 is the argument used the most often, and I appreciate Preston’s quick and simple explanation of the passage meaning “men who have sex with men”
- “But I'm unaware of any passage where a behavior is considered holy simply because some people have a really strong and unchangeable desire to engage in it.”
- one flesh argument is one I heard recently
- I appreciate his point that “biblical marriage” can be an unhelpful term. I wonder what a good alternative is?
- Conversation 4 is the one I’ve found to be the most convincing on the affirming side, and it was encouraging to see how well Preston did with it
Here are my thoughts on the first section!
- I really appreciate Foundation 1, I think it’s so essential for Christians to think through not just what we do but how we do it.
- The idea of steel manning vs straw manning an argument is a great example of that. It both honors the person/people you are debating with and it’s pragmatically more helpful!
- “So I'm not arguing against being bold and courageous. I'm only suggesting a more holistically Christian manner in which we boldly communicate and embody the truth.”- Amen!
- Starting with “what is marriage” as the foundation(in foundation 2) is way more helpful than starting with prohibition passages
- Didn’t know all the early church writings. An argument I heard often (and held weight with me) was there weren’t same-sex relationships like we see now in Bible times and those early church writings help to show that’s not true
- I think we do a good job of talking about marriage and sex not being essential theologically, but I think we fall short in our ecclesiology at Harris creek. Much of how we do church seems to show marriage to be essential
- It’s hard, because the reality is 90% of our adults are married or on their way to marriage, but I do think it’s a place we can grow
April 2, 2024
This book is nothing but dogma over data. There is nothing "historical" about this book. Using the Bible to prove that the Bible is right is rich.
This author has a PhD from Aberdeen University in Scotland in the New Testament. He did not use that PhD once to show anything about the Bible. He cited the Bible and that is all. He did not dive into the time of the writing, the understandings of the writers, who it was written for, or any language of the time. He just asserts that he "feels" or read another author who agrees with his views so therefore whatever he cites must be true.
This book is does not have any citations of Biblical scholars because if it did it would not come to the conclusions it does. It leans fully into the far-right American view of Christianity. If this is the opinion, you are looking for no doubt this is a five-star book for you.
If you are LGTBQIA+, please do not believe the things written in this book. The title alone is a lie.
This author has a PhD from Aberdeen University in Scotland in the New Testament. He did not use that PhD once to show anything about the Bible. He cited the Bible and that is all. He did not dive into the time of the writing, the understandings of the writers, who it was written for, or any language of the time. He just asserts that he "feels" or read another author who agrees with his views so therefore whatever he cites must be true.
This book is does not have any citations of Biblical scholars because if it did it would not come to the conclusions it does. It leans fully into the far-right American view of Christianity. If this is the opinion, you are looking for no doubt this is a five-star book for you.
If you are LGTBQIA+, please do not believe the things written in this book. The title alone is a lie.
January 1, 2024
The only thing I would have liked to see more of is how Christians and churches should engage with same-sex marriage couples. He does address it, but I would have liked more.
September 12, 2023
The book is good, but I wished it was better in places. Could've done with an extra pair of eyes of someone not invested in the subject matter but also marginalized in the Church, also from a non-American perspective.
This being said, I'd give 90% of the book a 5 star rating and the rest somewhere between 3 and 4, depending on the section.
The first two chapters lay the groundwork (I'd have swapped one and two or given 1 as a shorter introduction and then a longer chapter after chapter 2).
Chapter 1 is good, but it would be one of the sections that could've been better. Some more bible, and looking at Jesus would have been nice. Also, I'm not a fan of the enneagram, so to use that after saying this might be a bit too much psychological talk is a weird move even if one takes the enneagram serious.
Chapter two was helpful for the purpose of the book.
I enjoyed the setup of the book. Showing the argument, then sharing agreement and then responding.
At points, I felt the response was a bit soft. This is also a strength of the book. So this might be a contextual thing or that the book was aimed at a broader group of people. So I see that overall as a positive that I can learn from in life, yet in a book that talks about arguments, calling a weak argument weak is not a bad thing, in my opinion. Yet I have learned from the author by him doing this.
Not only is the author pastoral. He challenges the reader wherever they stand on the subject matter, which I loved.
The footnotes are also handy as there aren't too many (even though I would've liked more) and good places for further study.
There is one part I might have misunderstood, or I disagree with the author at one point. He says whether he should hang out with Christians who deny the trinity, I'm not sure how they would still be Christians, but would say, of course, eat with them.
My biggest disappointment is the final chapter. Even though I agree with the basic idea if taken in isolation, although some parts could be worded better, or I misunderstood, or I very much disagree with.
I do feel the burden of the church, including myself, plenty of times, failing to be hospitable for people who dont fit the picture or aren't seen. I have grown but still am growing in this area.
To me, it seems very American. In Europe, the government cares for the elderly at least parts of it. I've worked with people from Africa who support cousins and siblings. In that culture, there is no necessity to marry or have kids to be cared for in old age. I've heard stories from people from Vanuatu who care for people from their village who are old and without family.
Even if the problem of being cared for isn't perfect anywhere in the world, and I can't even begin to imagine this being not just hard but unbearable for those who are suspected at every turn and have no spouse.
Jesus didn't have this family the author talks of, Paul didn't have it, and you can't tell me they had it easy or weren't persecuted by those they were loving.
Also, this problem is not unique to people who are gay, lesbian or bisexual. Even if it is harsher for them and more of a problem. Teenagers, neuro atypical, disabled, singles, and you could keep going. Yes, the church is failing in many instances of welcoming those who feel or are different. And that should disgust all Christians. But isn't Jesus the one we follow? Isn't He enough, even though yes, he calls us to love one another and create a community, a kingdom that is not of this world.
I have listened to enough of the authors podcasts that I want to read the whole book charitably and so would think he agrees. But the last chapter was not the best as a whole. Even though I fully agree with the point that it was making the church should love gay, lesbian and bisexuals and have conversations about identity language. I just wish it was worded with more care. But it might trigger someone or someone's to love those people better.
Also, I wish the response section was like a plea from a gay, lesbian and/or bisexual person to the church plus an example of when it went well or what that would look like.
This book is worth the read. It will challenge you. It has surely been challenging for me.
It has shown me that my love for a neighbor has grown but is not at the Jesus level yet. It has also shown me that this is a complex issue more than I already thought it to be.
But mostly, it showed the goodness of God.
So thank you, Preston. I will continue to pray a blessing over you, your family, your ministry, and that the church may grow in love.
This being said, I'd give 90% of the book a 5 star rating and the rest somewhere between 3 and 4, depending on the section.
The first two chapters lay the groundwork (I'd have swapped one and two or given 1 as a shorter introduction and then a longer chapter after chapter 2).
Chapter 1 is good, but it would be one of the sections that could've been better. Some more bible, and looking at Jesus would have been nice. Also, I'm not a fan of the enneagram, so to use that after saying this might be a bit too much psychological talk is a weird move even if one takes the enneagram serious.
Chapter two was helpful for the purpose of the book.
I enjoyed the setup of the book. Showing the argument, then sharing agreement and then responding.
At points, I felt the response was a bit soft. This is also a strength of the book. So this might be a contextual thing or that the book was aimed at a broader group of people. So I see that overall as a positive that I can learn from in life, yet in a book that talks about arguments, calling a weak argument weak is not a bad thing, in my opinion. Yet I have learned from the author by him doing this.
Not only is the author pastoral. He challenges the reader wherever they stand on the subject matter, which I loved.
The footnotes are also handy as there aren't too many (even though I would've liked more) and good places for further study.
There is one part I might have misunderstood, or I disagree with the author at one point. He says whether he should hang out with Christians who deny the trinity, I'm not sure how they would still be Christians, but would say, of course, eat with them.
My biggest disappointment is the final chapter. Even though I agree with the basic idea if taken in isolation, although some parts could be worded better, or I misunderstood, or I very much disagree with.
I do feel the burden of the church, including myself, plenty of times, failing to be hospitable for people who dont fit the picture or aren't seen. I have grown but still am growing in this area.
To me, it seems very American. In Europe, the government cares for the elderly at least parts of it. I've worked with people from Africa who support cousins and siblings. In that culture, there is no necessity to marry or have kids to be cared for in old age. I've heard stories from people from Vanuatu who care for people from their village who are old and without family.
Even if the problem of being cared for isn't perfect anywhere in the world, and I can't even begin to imagine this being not just hard but unbearable for those who are suspected at every turn and have no spouse.
Jesus didn't have this family the author talks of, Paul didn't have it, and you can't tell me they had it easy or weren't persecuted by those they were loving.
Also, this problem is not unique to people who are gay, lesbian or bisexual. Even if it is harsher for them and more of a problem. Teenagers, neuro atypical, disabled, singles, and you could keep going. Yes, the church is failing in many instances of welcoming those who feel or are different. And that should disgust all Christians. But isn't Jesus the one we follow? Isn't He enough, even though yes, he calls us to love one another and create a community, a kingdom that is not of this world.
I have listened to enough of the authors podcasts that I want to read the whole book charitably and so would think he agrees. But the last chapter was not the best as a whole. Even though I fully agree with the point that it was making the church should love gay, lesbian and bisexuals and have conversations about identity language. I just wish it was worded with more care. But it might trigger someone or someone's to love those people better.
Also, I wish the response section was like a plea from a gay, lesbian and/or bisexual person to the church plus an example of when it went well or what that would look like.
This book is worth the read. It will challenge you. It has surely been challenging for me.
It has shown me that my love for a neighbor has grown but is not at the Jesus level yet. It has also shown me that this is a complex issue more than I already thought it to be.
But mostly, it showed the goodness of God.
So thank you, Preston. I will continue to pray a blessing over you, your family, your ministry, and that the church may grow in love.
August 8, 2023
As a theology teacher specializing in ethics, I am always on the lookout for books that foster thoughtful and respectful discussions on complex topics. Dr. Preston Sprinkle's Does the Bible Support Same-Sex Marriage? is a remarkable work that artfully addresses the contentious issue of same-sex marriage through 21 engaging conversations. This book stands out for its accessibility, its generous treatment of all perspectives, its irenic honesty, and its embodiment of intellectual virtue.
From the very first pages, it is evident that Does the Bible Support Same-Sex Marriage? is designed with accessibility in mind. Dr. Sprinkle's writing style is clear, concise, and engaging, making theological concepts easily graspable for readers of various backgrounds. As a theology teacher, I appreciate how skillfully he navigates complex ideas, ensuring that the book remains approachable without sacrificing depth. The reader-friendly language and structure, as well as a number of judicious footnotes, make it an inclusive resource for both seasoned theologians and those new to theological discussions.
The book's commitment to presenting the traditional view on same-sex marriage is also clear. Dr. Sprinkle understands that Truth and Love cannot rightly be separated. Drawing on thorough biblical analysis and historical context, Dr. Sprinkle builds a robust case for the historical Christian perspective. His biblically-centered approach provides readers with a comprehensive understanding of the theological foundations that have informed the traditional view over centuries.
What sets this book apart is its extraordinary generosity toward all viewpoints. Although, this should come as no surprise to anyone who listens to his podcast or who has followed his work with the Center for Faith, Gender, and Sexuality. Dr. Sprinkle engages proponents of same-sex marriage with empathy, respect, and genuine curiosity. Does the Bible Support Same-Sex Marriage? is, without a doubt, a model of intellectual virtue. He readily admits the limitations of human understanding and is unafraid to tackle difficult questions, allowing readers to witness the values of integrity and genuine pursuit of truth in action. As a theology teacher, I find this aspect of the book exemplary, as it inspires students and readers alike to approach complex ethical discussions with the same level of intellectual integrity.
My favorite chapter was Conversation 20 where Dr. Sprinkle addresses the notion of "agreeing to disagree" on the topic of same-sex marriage. He skillfully challenges the idea that this matter can be relegated to individual conscience and points out the significance of the issue to the biblical authors. I agree with the author's stance that this is not a topic that can be dismissed lightly or approached with apathy. The book compellingly argues that Acts 15's apostolic decree forbidding porneia (a Greek word meaning “sexual immorality” which includes adultery, fornication, same-sex sexual relations, incest, and bestiality) for Gentile converts is a signal that the nature of marriage is not a secondary issue.
In conclusion, Does the Bible Support Same-Sex Marriage? is an exceptional and accessible theological work that exemplifies compassion, intellectual virtue, and genuine engagement. Dr. Preston Sprinkle's dedication to the traditional view, his generous approach to differing perspectives, and his commitment to fostering respectful conversations make this book a valuable resource for theology teachers, students, and anyone seeking to engage in thoughtful discussions on this complex topic. I wholeheartedly recommend this book as a must-read for all seeking to deepen their understanding of the theological nuances surrounding same-sex marriage.
From the very first pages, it is evident that Does the Bible Support Same-Sex Marriage? is designed with accessibility in mind. Dr. Sprinkle's writing style is clear, concise, and engaging, making theological concepts easily graspable for readers of various backgrounds. As a theology teacher, I appreciate how skillfully he navigates complex ideas, ensuring that the book remains approachable without sacrificing depth. The reader-friendly language and structure, as well as a number of judicious footnotes, make it an inclusive resource for both seasoned theologians and those new to theological discussions.
The book's commitment to presenting the traditional view on same-sex marriage is also clear. Dr. Sprinkle understands that Truth and Love cannot rightly be separated. Drawing on thorough biblical analysis and historical context, Dr. Sprinkle builds a robust case for the historical Christian perspective. His biblically-centered approach provides readers with a comprehensive understanding of the theological foundations that have informed the traditional view over centuries.
What sets this book apart is its extraordinary generosity toward all viewpoints. Although, this should come as no surprise to anyone who listens to his podcast or who has followed his work with the Center for Faith, Gender, and Sexuality. Dr. Sprinkle engages proponents of same-sex marriage with empathy, respect, and genuine curiosity. Does the Bible Support Same-Sex Marriage? is, without a doubt, a model of intellectual virtue. He readily admits the limitations of human understanding and is unafraid to tackle difficult questions, allowing readers to witness the values of integrity and genuine pursuit of truth in action. As a theology teacher, I find this aspect of the book exemplary, as it inspires students and readers alike to approach complex ethical discussions with the same level of intellectual integrity.
My favorite chapter was Conversation 20 where Dr. Sprinkle addresses the notion of "agreeing to disagree" on the topic of same-sex marriage. He skillfully challenges the idea that this matter can be relegated to individual conscience and points out the significance of the issue to the biblical authors. I agree with the author's stance that this is not a topic that can be dismissed lightly or approached with apathy. The book compellingly argues that Acts 15's apostolic decree forbidding porneia (a Greek word meaning “sexual immorality” which includes adultery, fornication, same-sex sexual relations, incest, and bestiality) for Gentile converts is a signal that the nature of marriage is not a secondary issue.
In conclusion, Does the Bible Support Same-Sex Marriage? is an exceptional and accessible theological work that exemplifies compassion, intellectual virtue, and genuine engagement. Dr. Preston Sprinkle's dedication to the traditional view, his generous approach to differing perspectives, and his commitment to fostering respectful conversations make this book a valuable resource for theology teachers, students, and anyone seeking to engage in thoughtful discussions on this complex topic. I wholeheartedly recommend this book as a must-read for all seeking to deepen their understanding of the theological nuances surrounding same-sex marriage.
June 3, 2025
Preston Sprinkle is a well known podcaster with Anabaptist leanings (hence his books discussing political involvement and violence) and a high respect for the authority of Scripture. In this short book, he discusses the question of same sex attraction, the meaning of Biblical marriage, and sexual activity outside of marriage.
I think it needs to be said upfront that if the reader is not someone who has a belief that the Bible is authoritative, the whole discussion will be frustrating. This under pins many of these arguments.
Sprinkle believe that marriage is a lifetime covenant relationship between members of the opposite sex. He believes that God stated this in Genesis 2:24 -- emphasizing that part of marriage is sex difference. Jesus quoted this in Matthew 19 and seems to have reemphasized sex difference as an important part of a marriage covenant. The question isn't so much whether there are prohibitions on same sex sexual activity, but what God ordained marriage is and whether sex outside of that covenant relationship is licit.
From this starting point, Preston launches into an attempt to answer questions that the critics of this Biblical view of marriage have, including discussions around whether Jesus and Paul were aware of same sex relationships, whether the Biblical passages in question were focused on non-consensual (say, master-slave) sex acts, and whether "love is love." All in all, he covers 21 different questions, gives points where he can agree with argument and then gives a rebuttal of it.
The tone of the book is quite conversational -- Preston is working through these things and finds some of the points brought up to be challenging to address. He is also saddened by the lack of love that he finds in many conservative Christians towards same-sex attracted believers. The fact that you have an attraction towards a certain type of sin does not make you a sinner, it is when you act on that temptation that you have opened the door to sin.
The conversations are probably not long enough. If you are in conversation with a friend about this subject, this book will only begin your understanding of it. There are many other books that delve into the subject in a deeper way.
Preston has a little tic when writing where he mentions that a particular question is challenging and therefore he will take some additional space to deal with it. Writing this once or twice is fine, but if the majority of the questions have this comment associated with them, it is probably best to dispense with it.
Overall, I felt like the book was helpful. Preston has a heart to love and communicate with others, even those who have deep differences with him. This tone comes through in the book and makes it speaking into a space that is typically charged with anger, angst, and hyperbole.
I think it needs to be said upfront that if the reader is not someone who has a belief that the Bible is authoritative, the whole discussion will be frustrating. This under pins many of these arguments.
Sprinkle believe that marriage is a lifetime covenant relationship between members of the opposite sex. He believes that God stated this in Genesis 2:24 -- emphasizing that part of marriage is sex difference. Jesus quoted this in Matthew 19 and seems to have reemphasized sex difference as an important part of a marriage covenant. The question isn't so much whether there are prohibitions on same sex sexual activity, but what God ordained marriage is and whether sex outside of that covenant relationship is licit.
From this starting point, Preston launches into an attempt to answer questions that the critics of this Biblical view of marriage have, including discussions around whether Jesus and Paul were aware of same sex relationships, whether the Biblical passages in question were focused on non-consensual (say, master-slave) sex acts, and whether "love is love." All in all, he covers 21 different questions, gives points where he can agree with argument and then gives a rebuttal of it.
The tone of the book is quite conversational -- Preston is working through these things and finds some of the points brought up to be challenging to address. He is also saddened by the lack of love that he finds in many conservative Christians towards same-sex attracted believers. The fact that you have an attraction towards a certain type of sin does not make you a sinner, it is when you act on that temptation that you have opened the door to sin.
The conversations are probably not long enough. If you are in conversation with a friend about this subject, this book will only begin your understanding of it. There are many other books that delve into the subject in a deeper way.
Preston has a little tic when writing where he mentions that a particular question is challenging and therefore he will take some additional space to deal with it. Writing this once or twice is fine, but if the majority of the questions have this comment associated with them, it is probably best to dispense with it.
Overall, I felt like the book was helpful. Preston has a heart to love and communicate with others, even those who have deep differences with him. This tone comes through in the book and makes it speaking into a space that is typically charged with anger, angst, and hyperbole.
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March 10, 2024I feel sick to my stomach because I'm tired of all the slick word play regarding this issue. No one is or has ever been completely clear regarding this issue. Sprinkle was clear that he supports traditional marriage yet he suggested that maybe the word "marriage" should be redefined. He is not clear about whether he affirms homosexuality or not, which is yet another word that has no clear definition among people in general. The dictionary defines these words: gay/lesbian as sexually attracted to the same sex while homosexual is defined as sexually attracted to the same sex and behavior towards the same sex. Just like no one should cherry pick Bible verses we shouldn't cherry pick the definition for homosexual because it does include "behavior" which means behaving in a sexual immoral way. People need to stop hijacking words to mean something it doesn't mean. And he failed to explain that slavery in the Bible is actually very different from the slavery in the 1800's. He actually redefined what justice is or means and it's not biblical. He used today's culture definition which isn't biblical. This is where he ultimately failed, just like everyone in this culture making these arguments fail: identity. To call oneself a "gay Christian" is an oxymoron because Paul wrote that we are to identify in Christ crucified which means our old way of living is crucified with Christ and we are to live in sanctification, to become holy, godly. Nowhere does he mention any of this and he does sound like he affirms the identity of a gay Christian which I do not think is loving because what you identify as can lead you into temptation to sin instead of holiness, to be set apart from the world. Identifying as a gay Christian is not being set apart but to identify with the world and what's sexually immoral. The arguments he presented and the other side's argument presented regarding identity is just lousy, lazy, thinking and very unbiblical. The ultimate failure of everyone on both sides of the argument is the fact the Bible is to be read within the context of the ancient world, and their perspectives or philosophy, not today's culture, perspectives or philosophy. Homosexuality has existed since the beginning of time, it's nothing new and the Bible doesn't support same-sex marriage at all. The only thing I agree with was the point that we should love one another and he even fumbled that point. This book is very superficial and not well thought out at all. I just feel sick to my stomach.
January 12, 2026
Preston M. Sprinkles Buch Does the Bible Support Same-Sex Marriage? geht der zentralen Frage nach, ob und inwiefern die Bibel gleichgeschlechtliche Ehe befürwortet. Dazu nimmt der Autor 21 häufig vorgebrachte Argumente aus affirmativen Positionen auf und setzt sich jeweils einzeln mit ihnen auseinander. Die Struktur ist dabei durchgehend klar und gut nachvollziehbar: Jedes Kapitel beginnt mit der Darstellung eines Pro-Arguments, gefolgt von „Points of Agreement“, in denen gemeinsame Anliegen oder berechtigte Beobachtungen benannt werden, bevor anschließend aus historisch-christlicher Perspektive kritisch argumentiert wird.
Gerade diese Vorgehensweise ist eine der großen Stärken des Buches. Sprinkle vermeidet Polemik und zeigt sich bemüht, die jeweiligen Positionen fair darzustellen. Das Buch eignet sich dadurch gut als Nachschlagewerk: Die einzelnen Kapitel können unabhängig voneinander gelesen werden und decken jeweils ein spezifisches Argument ab. Mit einer Länge von etwa fünf bis zehn Seiten bleiben die Ausführungen konzentriert und gut lesbar.
Inhaltlich überzeugt Sprinkle in vielen Kapiteln durch solides exegetisches Handwerkszeug und eine insgesamt schlüssige Argumentation. Manche Argumente werden stärker und differenzierter entkräftet als andere, doch insgesamt ergibt sich ein stimmiges Gesamtbild einer klassisch-historisch-christlichen Sexualethik. Dabei wird deutlich, dass es im Buch nicht nur um gleichgeschlechtliche Ehe im engeren Sinne geht, sondern um Sexualität insgesamt und um das biblische Verständnis von Ehe, Leiblichkeit und Nachfolge.
Besonders positiv hervorzuheben ist der pastorale Ton. Sprinkle betont immer wieder, dass es keine einfachen oder schnellen Antworten gibt und dass Christen zu einem respektvollen, liebevollen und ehrlichen Umgang mit homosexuell empfindenden Menschen aufgerufen sind. Die Kirche soll kein Ort der Ausgrenzung sein, sondern ein Raum von Beziehung, Gespräch, Begleitung und gelebter Gemeinschaft – auch dort, wo ethische Überzeugungen nicht geteilt werden.
Fazit:
Ein gut strukturiertes, sachliches und insgesamt ausgewogenes Buch, das zentrale Argumente für gleichgeschlechtliche Ehe ernst nimmt und aus historisch-christlicher Perspektive kritisch reflektiert. Nicht jedes Kapitel ist gleich stark, aber die Kombination aus exegetischer Klarheit und pastoraler Sensibilität macht das Buch zu einer empfehlenswerten Lektüre für alle, die sich fundiert mit dieser Frage auseinandersetzen möchten.
Gerade diese Vorgehensweise ist eine der großen Stärken des Buches. Sprinkle vermeidet Polemik und zeigt sich bemüht, die jeweiligen Positionen fair darzustellen. Das Buch eignet sich dadurch gut als Nachschlagewerk: Die einzelnen Kapitel können unabhängig voneinander gelesen werden und decken jeweils ein spezifisches Argument ab. Mit einer Länge von etwa fünf bis zehn Seiten bleiben die Ausführungen konzentriert und gut lesbar.
Inhaltlich überzeugt Sprinkle in vielen Kapiteln durch solides exegetisches Handwerkszeug und eine insgesamt schlüssige Argumentation. Manche Argumente werden stärker und differenzierter entkräftet als andere, doch insgesamt ergibt sich ein stimmiges Gesamtbild einer klassisch-historisch-christlichen Sexualethik. Dabei wird deutlich, dass es im Buch nicht nur um gleichgeschlechtliche Ehe im engeren Sinne geht, sondern um Sexualität insgesamt und um das biblische Verständnis von Ehe, Leiblichkeit und Nachfolge.
Besonders positiv hervorzuheben ist der pastorale Ton. Sprinkle betont immer wieder, dass es keine einfachen oder schnellen Antworten gibt und dass Christen zu einem respektvollen, liebevollen und ehrlichen Umgang mit homosexuell empfindenden Menschen aufgerufen sind. Die Kirche soll kein Ort der Ausgrenzung sein, sondern ein Raum von Beziehung, Gespräch, Begleitung und gelebter Gemeinschaft – auch dort, wo ethische Überzeugungen nicht geteilt werden.
Fazit:
Ein gut strukturiertes, sachliches und insgesamt ausgewogenes Buch, das zentrale Argumente für gleichgeschlechtliche Ehe ernst nimmt und aus historisch-christlicher Perspektive kritisch reflektiert. Nicht jedes Kapitel ist gleich stark, aber die Kombination aus exegetischer Klarheit und pastoraler Sensibilität macht das Buch zu einer empfehlenswerten Lektüre für alle, die sich fundiert mit dieser Frage auseinandersetzen möchten.
November 11, 2023
I have been putting off sharing about this book because I know this is an inflammatory topic, and the title alone is enough to garner a negative reaction. I have very conservative friends as well as LGBTQ+ friends whom I love dearly, and I am not looking to start an argument here. As Preston writes at the beginning of the book, “I hope that all my readers, in agreement or disagreement, will do two things after reading this book: think more deeply and love more widely. Every Christian reader can agree we all could use a good dose of both.”
•
Preston Sprinkle writes with grace and love. He does not back down from what he believes, but he spends time talking through arguments against his beliefs, pointing out areas where he agrees as well as why he believes differently. His philosophy is that “a well-reasoned argument is much more believable if it comes from a person whose posture is genuine, humble, and kind. A preachy preacher yelling from a stage will be less compelling than a preacher that knows your name.”
•
The American church has made many mistakes when it comes to the LGBTQ+ community. There has been so much hurt inflicted because of misinterpretation or skewed theology. Preston shared a friend’s statement that “to be homosexual in the American evangelical church is to be dead. You are an outcast, an orphan, a refugee, a diseased person.” This broke my heart. I have been and will continue to be vocal in my own faith community about how we talk about LGBTQ+ people. Statistically speaking, there are people struggling with their gender identity in our church, and I do not want them to receive the message that if they aren’t straight, they are not loved by Jesus.
•
Bottom line, I very much appreciated this book. It was a thoughtful and gentle walk through 21 different arguments for or against affirming same-sex marriage. If you read the book and want to talk about it in person, I would be happy to discuss it further.
•
Preston Sprinkle writes with grace and love. He does not back down from what he believes, but he spends time talking through arguments against his beliefs, pointing out areas where he agrees as well as why he believes differently. His philosophy is that “a well-reasoned argument is much more believable if it comes from a person whose posture is genuine, humble, and kind. A preachy preacher yelling from a stage will be less compelling than a preacher that knows your name.”
•
The American church has made many mistakes when it comes to the LGBTQ+ community. There has been so much hurt inflicted because of misinterpretation or skewed theology. Preston shared a friend’s statement that “to be homosexual in the American evangelical church is to be dead. You are an outcast, an orphan, a refugee, a diseased person.” This broke my heart. I have been and will continue to be vocal in my own faith community about how we talk about LGBTQ+ people. Statistically speaking, there are people struggling with their gender identity in our church, and I do not want them to receive the message that if they aren’t straight, they are not loved by Jesus.
•
Bottom line, I very much appreciated this book. It was a thoughtful and gentle walk through 21 different arguments for or against affirming same-sex marriage. If you read the book and want to talk about it in person, I would be happy to discuss it further.
August 2, 2023
This is the first time in 2023 that I picked up a book and actually finished it in one straight read through. First off, I have to say that I deeply admire and respect Preston’s approach to handling such a widely controversial topic in today’s society. Regardless of whether you agree or disagree with the theological positions he offers throughout this book, he consistently comes from a posture of humility and grace. He begins the book by highlighting the need for grace and love/compassion in LGBTQ- related or general theological conversations with others. The reality is that there will always be disagreements about the Bible’s interpretation of this subject. However, that does not diminish the simple fact that we can continue to have ongoing and engaging discussions on this topic with love and compassion for others. The 21 theological questions that he discusses are a helpful response to common views and positions taken by authors such as Matthew Vines and Colby Martin. The focus is not on debating to prove a point, but rather on a genuine search for truth and an investigation of the Bible’s stance on the topic. I highly recommend this book, regardless of your stance on the topic!
June 17, 2024
The book comes from a pastoral heart, as evident from it opening not with the thesis (i.e. on same-sex marriage), but rather, with 'How to have a Fruitful Conversation'. Sprinkle goes through the importance of (, among others,) being willing to rethink one's point of view, being a "genuinely curious person", finding points of agreement to show that one is more interested in truth than winning arguments, and understanding the power of belonging and communities.
Going into each of the 'Conversations' (each covering an argument in favour of same-sex marriage), it starts with a summary of the argument, followed by points of agreement, before going into response. Each Conversation is short enough that it can be finished within 5 minutes, making this an excellent resource for someone just getting into this topic or who is looking for brief, quick answers. All in all, a recommended read.
Going into each of the 'Conversations' (each covering an argument in favour of same-sex marriage), it starts with a summary of the argument, followed by points of agreement, before going into response. Each Conversation is short enough that it can be finished within 5 minutes, making this an excellent resource for someone just getting into this topic or who is looking for brief, quick answers. All in all, a recommended read.
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