Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes

by Harry Graham

"He [Harry Graham] is in the great tradition of Lear and Carroll and Gilbert and Belloc. At his best he easily ranks with any of these ." -Jeremy Nicholas, The Ruthless Rhymer, BBC
Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes (1898) is a book of short poems that are both witty and engagingly cruel, as only tongue-in-cheek humor can be. Many of the verses are just four lines and focus on a central character named Little Willie, who plays youthful, sadistic, pranks with benign indifference and other inappropriate responses. The Times of London described these poems as reflecting "that enchanted world where there are no values nor standards of conduct or feeling, and where the plainest sense is the plainest nonsense." Thanks to the author's satirical wit, his poetry is often compared to the writing of Edward Lear, Lewis Caroll, and W. S. Gilbert.
The perfect gift for adults who like to read for fun.

Genres: Poetry, Humor

66 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1899

About the author

Jocelyn Henry Clive "Harry" Graham was an English writer known for his darkly humorous verse, journalism, and lyric writing for operettas and musical comedies. Initially serving as an officer in the Coldstream Guards, he later became a full-time writer. His Ruthless Rhymes, published under the pseudonym [link=Col. D. Streamer|24069698], remain his most famous work, showcasing his talent for grotesque humor and wordplay. He also wrote lyrics for successful stage productions, including The Maid of the Mountains and English adaptations of operettas like The Land of Smiles. His best-known lyrics include You Are My Heart’s Delight and Goodbye.

Reviews

[Majenta · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ooh, brutal--but sometimes that's just what you need. (What you need to read, or what someone needs to write.) One of the books advertised in the back pages of A MORAL ALPHABET by Hilaire Belloc.

[David · Rating 4 out of 5]

I just came across this online (it's downloadable at googlebooks). D. Streamer was a pseudonym for Harry Graham, who originated the form of the "Little Willie" poem. (Apparently there was a craze for these poems in the early part of the 20th century - newspapers would run contests and get thousands of entries).

What is a "Little Willie" poem? Usually 4 lines, AABB rhyme, but the key aspect is the macabre. Here are a few of the best-known:

Little Willie, mean as hell
Drowned his sister in the well.
Mother said, while drawing water,
"Gee, it's hard to raise a daughter."

Little Willie found a mirror,
Went and sucked the mercury off,
Thinking in his childish error,
It would cure his whooping cough.
At the funeral, Willie's mother
Sadly said to Mrs. Brown,
"'Twas a chilly day for Willie
When the mercury went down."

RR for HH has a couple of Little Willies, but plenty of other macabre offerings as well. How much you like it can probably be gauged by your reaction to this (fairly typical) verse:

"Misfortunes Never Come Singly"

Making toast at the fireside
Nurse fell in the grate and died
And, what makes it ten times worse
All the toast was burned with nurse.

Sick bastard that I am, I have to admit to finding it pretty funny.

[Matthew · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such a D E L I G H T F U L little read. So so lovely

[Chris · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dark, clever, funny poems. Quite inspiring actually.

[Frank A. Perry · Rating 4 out of 5]

I first noticed what I thought were called the "Little Willie" poems when I was in 7th or 8th Grade in 1956. They were embedded in a thick Language Arts textbook. They seemed bizarre and wonderfully naughty to my young brain and provided much amusement as antidotes to the sentence-diagramming nouns and verbs, etc. I memorized many of them but my favorite was not in this wonderful little book:

"Will fell down the elevator,
Wasn't found til six days later,
All the neighbors sniffed, Gee Wizz!
What a spoiled brat Will is!"

At any rate this is a short and wonderfully irreverent little book well worth it's ZERO price tag. Get it, read it, laugh!

[Mili Chamberlain · Rating 4 out of 5]

BRILLIANT find of this first edition copy at a small used book + record store in Cambridge on my trip with Matthew! Lovely car read :)

[Nick · Rating 5 out of 5]

I first read this joyously gruesome book as a child, and still possess it!

[Mark · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some deliciously dark humor from the early Edwardian period (though I guess it was written while queen Victorian was still on the throne). Some verse is quite funny and clever, others less so, but overall it's a fascinating read.

[Gerry · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you like your humour black, this is the book for you.

There is Percival 'who cut his sister's throat for fun', little Henry who 'slipped through an icy glacier's crack', grandpapa who 'fell down a drain' (see cover illustration) and many more, all of whom came to a sticky end - in an amusing way, of course, and (a la Kenny Everett) in the best possible taste!

A fun read with great complementary illustrations.

[Unwisely · Rating 3 out of 5]

Why would I read poetry if it weren't library bingo season?

The library actually failed me on this book (and in fact, everything by this author was missing from their shelves), but Project Gutenberg came through for me.

They were as pleasantly funny as the title suggests.

[Avis Black · Rating 4 out of 5]

My father used to quote some of these poems to me when I was a kid, though it was many years later before I found out who the author was. I have no idea why this book ever went out of print. Recommended.

Available at the Internet Archive:
https://archive.org/details/ruthlessr...

[Patrick DiJusto · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not as good as Gashlycrumb Tinies, but serviceable.