Together, Alone: A Memoir of Marriage and Place

Southwestern Writers Collection Series, The Wittliff Collections

by Susan Wittig Albert

What does it mean to belong to a place, to be truly rooted and grounded in the place you call home? How do you commit to a marriage, to a full partnership with another person, and still maintain your own separate identity? These questions have been central to Susan Wittig Albert's life, and in this beautifully written memoir, she movingly describes how she has experienced place, marriage, and aloneness while creating a home in the Texas Hill Country with her husband and writing partner, Bill Albert.

Together, Alone opens in 1985, as Albert leaves a successful, if rootless, career as a university administrator and begins a new life as a freelance writer, wife, and homesteader on a patch of rural land northwest of Austin. She vividly describes the work of creating a home at Meadow Knoll, a place in which she and Bill raised their own food and animals, while working together and separately on writing projects. Once her sense of home and partnership was firmly established, Albert recalls how she had to find its counterbalance—a place where she could be alone and explore those parts of the self that only emerge in solitude. For her, this place was Lebh Shomea, a silent monastic retreat. In writing about her time at Lebh Shomea, Albert reveals the deep satisfaction she finds in belonging to a community of people who have chosen to be apart and experience silence and solitude.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Writing, Nature, Unfinished, Spirituality, Biography Memoir

183 pages, Hardcover

First published September 1, 2009

About the author

Susan is the author/co-author of biographical/historical fiction, mysteries, and nonfiction. Now in her 80s and continuing to write, she says that retirement is not (yet) an option. She publishes under her own imprint. Here are her latest books.

A PLAIN VANILLA MURDER, #27 in the long-running China Bayles/Pecan Springs series.

Two Pecan Springs novella trilogies: The Crystal Cave Trilogy (featuring Ruby Wilcox): noBODY, SomeBODY Else, and Out of BODY; and The Enterprise Trilogy (featuring Jessica Nelson): DEADLINES, FAULTLINES, and FIRELINES.

THE DARLING DAHLIAS AND THE POINSETTIA PUZZLE #8 in the Darling Dahlias series, set in the early 1930s in fictional Darling AL

THE GENERAL'S WOMEN. Kay, Mamie, and Ike--the wartime romance that won a war but could have derailed a presidency.

LOVING ELEANOR: A novel about the intimate 30-year friendship of Eleanor Roosevelt and Lorena Hickok, based on their letters

A WILDER ROSE: the true story of Rose Wilder Lane, who transformed her mother from a farm wife and occasional writer to a literary icon

THE TALE OF CASTLE COTTAGE, #8 in the Cottage Tales of Beatrix Potter

DEATH ON THE LIZARD, the 12th and last (2006) of the Robin Paige series, by Susan and Bill Albert

TOGETHER, ALONE: A MEMOIR OF MARRIAGE AND PLACE

AN EXTRAORDINARY YEAR OF ORDINARY DAYS

WORK OF HER OWN: A WOMAN'S GUIDE TO RIGHT LIVELIHOOD

WRITING FROM LIFE: TELLING YOUR SOUL'S STORY

Reviews

[Kristen · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is beautifully written and sometimes interesting, but sometimes I found that I just don't care enough to read all the information that she has learned and wants to put in her memoir and remember, which is fine for her memoir, but I'm still not that interested. (And that was a run on sentence I know, but it is my sentence and I'm writing it for me, so I can make it as long as I want even if it is grammatically unpleasing.)

Editted Re Post:
I neglected to mention that she has an incredibly insightful comment in the last chapter. As she returns to her home after a trip, she says, "I am home." Then she realizes, "I(Big Underline of I) am home." Later as she considers her relationship with her husband, "We are home." That is a truth. Where ever we are (our family is) is home when we make the effort to create a place of peace and being.

Of course being me, I must mention that again while I derived pleasure to a degree from her knowledge of the land, the plants, the people, the everything of her life, the theme of her story is more concisely written by a famous Dr. "I am Sam. Sam I am. My life is good, so good you see. I am happy to be here, just you and me." (Yeah I um paraphrased him a little.)

[Janice · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoy the fiction I have read by Susan Wittig Albert. But even more, I love her memoirs. In this one, she tells of the early years of her marriage to Bill Albert, and of their work to make the land they bought in the hills of eastern Texas their home. I loved the maps that showed all the areas on their several acres, where the various kinds of animals lived, and how they named all sections of their property.
Just as important to Ms. Albert as making this their home, and spending time with Bill, was finding ways to build a place and time for solitude into her new life. The latter part of this book tells of her time spent at a Catholic ranch/monastic center near the eastern coast of Texas, where silence is observed 6 days a week. And even while she treasures her time there, she battles with guilt over leaving Bill alone to deal with all the work it takes to maintain their rural home and land. I loved the openness, honesty, and willingness to share the most personal thoughts and emotions.

[Jonna Higgins-Freese]

Lovely story of her life with her husband at Meadow Knoll outside Austin.

"I'm privileged to share my life with someone I love, but when Bill's not here, for a day, a night, a week, a month, I'm not lonely. I've learned to cherish whatever time I have by myself. Perhaps it's because living here, together, has taught me how to be alone." (83)

"When we are constantly with other people - at work, at play, in the various organizations to which most of us belong -- we present to the world an artificial self, a constructed image of self, what Carl Jung called 'the persona,' designed to meet others' expectations of us, to keep the people around us from finding out who we really are. . . When I hand out pieces of myself like candy, or hide behind an inauthentic, constructed image of self, I'm in trouble. What I need is to be whole and wholly myself, complete, authentic, and real. Being alone gives me back myself. When I'm alone, apart, I'm not tempted to construct the self I think others would like to see. I can listen to myself and what's inside and around me. . . . [what I have learned at Meadow Knoll] is that there is another Susan hidden within, a self that is nurtured in silence and solitude but holds herself back, perhaps baffled, perhaps overwhelmed, from the frantic treasure hunt that is life out there. This Susan is separate from the disciplined, industrious, dutiful, and desirous selves that collectively manage my daily life, do the household work, write books, meet deadlines, talk to reader's groups, take care of the gardens and the animals, eat and sleep and blog and make love." These selves are wonderful, and I'm not knocking them. I am fond of them and grateful for the way they work together and for their dedication to the roles they play. Thanks to them, I am physically well and as happy in my work and my marriage as anybody has a right to hope." (88).

She writes so beautifully about the reading life, taking it seriously: "When I go into a library, I feel as if I am being embraced by books and by the spirits of their authors, a swelling, polyphonic chorus, speaking to me in silence . . . And as I walk down the row of shelves, picking up this book, that book, another, the awe is always mixed with anticipation. Who knows what new authors I'll stumble across, what new fascinations will tempt me? I might discover something that will change my life. It's happened before." (115).

[Judy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this for the 2021 Popsugar Challenge prompt "a book with an oxymoron in the title". I'm a fan of Susan Wittig Albert's China Bayle series, and I liked the idea of this memoir of her marriage and life in Central Texas. She lives one county over from where our house is in Texas and I can visualize the environment she describes. I'm impressed with how she and her husband Bill Albert (also a writer) both managed to leave their former jobs and support themselves writing and living a minimalist lifestyle out in the country. But this book is also about her inner life and occasional need for solitude as well as a bit of Texas history. It's an interesting book written interestingly. The Kindle edition I read had a bit of oddness in the spacing, but that's a pretty small quibble in the greater scope of things. If you like a book that makes you think a bit, you might want to give this one a try.

[Kfooshee · Rating 5 out of 5]

I usually always buy my books.....preferring to keep in touch with them on my shelves like an old friend after i have read them. It has been years since i have actually checked out a book from the library and read it in its entirety. For some reason though, this book called to me at the library, so i checked it out. It has been one of those books that stops me in my tracks because it resonates so deeply with me. A real life changer and thought-provoker. It is also ironic that the book came to me at the exact moment when i would be in Texas....which is the setting for the book. It was one that i will think about for a long time and one that has made me examine how i am living and how i can lead a more authentic life in which i live simply and am more present in the moment....one of my most difficult challenges. It also introduced me to the ideas of ethical eating and right livelihood. I will be buying this book! (FYI: she and her husband collaborated to write the Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys series and she is the author of the China Bayles series)

[Penny · Rating 3 out of 5]

This memoir was very focused on descrdibing the land and thistory of the land where she lives. For me it was, TMI. I liked the end of the book where she described a silent retreat that she made regularly -- but, even that involved LOTS of description of the flora, fauna etc. of the place. Writing was good.

[Vontel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well worth a read. I have read a great many of Wittig Albert's book series, and her biographies of 'unsung' women as well. I found this memoir had a contemplative, almost meditative, aspect to reading. It's not to be read in big gulps but mostly in chapters, with time for my own reflections on what I had read. Much of the book does reflect on the marriage of her middle years, which is now decades into it's making, although there are reflections back to her earlier years, both growing up, and then her move to qualify for an academic career as well as parenting. That reflection on her earlier life is done mostly in support of her observations and questions about (mostly) her last marriage, and changes in direction to moving to a full-time writing career.

[Lindy MacLaine · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's So satisfying to read the non-fiction writing of fiction authors—this book gave me the author and her journey—beyond the author bit, sharing her values, her relationship, her lifestyle choices. Really beautifully crafted and expressed.

[Terri Pilate · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have read her work for years. It is a privilege to read about her life.

[Paula Ann]

i'm enjoying this book by susan albert, as i do most books about
people who leave the fast lane to find a way of life off the
beaten track. although i would not want to live in texas, i don't think, susan's descriptions of the land and its natural history are really quite fascinating. She encourages us to have a sense of "place," as she puts it and learn all we can about
our own homes and surroundings, whereever those may be. i appreciate that and clearly understand how that can give one a definitive feeling of belonging and a heightened awareness and sensitivity on many levels to physical location.

[Diane · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lovely writing. I very much enjoyed the descriptions of all the Texas places, not like my Texas place, but beautiful and meaningful places. She describes the history, biology, geology of her home in the Hill Country and Lebh Shomea, a Catholic retreat center on what was once the huge Kenedy ranch in south Texas. She discusses the good and bad aspects of what humans have done to these landscapes. She also traces the development of her marriage, her second marriage, and how they have grown by being both together and apart. She has a interesting discussion of the custom of rogation or walking the boundaries of the parish or one's property.

[Miz Lizzie · Rating 4 out of 5]

The subtitle says it all, this memoir explores both the ties to the land and to a marriage partner with all the push-and-pull that entails of feeling or needing separation and the intimate bonds of long companionship. My interest in the book was largely from having read some of Susan Wittig Albert's novels and her blog but I think the memoir stands on its own especially if issues of sustainability and spirituality interest you.

Book Pairings: The personal exploration of writing and spirituality put me in mind of some of Kathleen Norris' writing.

[Skyler · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a lover of solitude, I appreciate her writing about how she achieves it in a relationship. I loved the descriptions of the land where she lives and appreciated being able to follow her walks with the hand drawn map of her property. I Google-Earthed the cafe she mentions so I could get a view of the area. Beautiful.

She mentions the great old Twilight Zone episode, Time Enough At Last. This passage especially pleased me. Time Enough Books in our little town is named after that particular story.

[Bridget · Rating 5 out of 5]

Interesting look into the life of Susan and her husband. I also feel that I better understand the China Bayles character more now that I know a little more about Susan's history.

I only wish there was a place around here like the Lebh Shomea (Sp?). I think we could all use a little solitude and reflective time in life to really learn about yourself on the inside out.

Thoroughly enjoyed. Now on to the next in the China Bayles series!

[Maureen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am putting this on one of my lifetime favorite books. To me, it's deep ecology wrapped in a spiritual search, wrapped in a fascinating writing life. Oh, yes, there's history and relationship... so much! This book has been a real gift as I come to terms with newly diagnosed seasonal allergies and more...

First read: August 20 15


Second read: May 2016
Loved this book even better the second time around!!

[Chris Babcock · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this. Not just for the imagery of the areas in which Susan and Bill have lived - but because they live a life that seems more real to me. People need space and they give it to each other without expecting return. Such a beautiful way of living together...and apart.

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book! I enjoyed the insights Albert shares about her writing life, marriage and the rejuvenating powers of solitude. I've been a big fan of her mysteries for years, and found her thoughtful recounting of the history of the desolate area near Baffin Bay to be most fascinating.

[Oleta · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved the book first time I read it through. I'm sure it won't be the last. Nice to know I'm not the only one in the world that requires times of silence in order to continue functioning.

[Marianna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well written. Informative. I learned much about the two regions of Texas that Wittig Albert focused on. Plus I was inspired to learn more about my particular region of Texas.

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

Truly engaging and peaceful. This is the only way I can describe it. A very supportive read for someone doing soul searching. Thank you Susan!

[Emily · Rating 1 out of 5]

The writing is beautiful, but it gets bogged down in too many details. I found myself bored (and nodding off) for the third time by page 26, and decided to find something else to read.

[Nancy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting insight into this writer's life

[Margie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Susan's descriptions of place are so detailed you almost feel like you are in her backyard (or retreat). Interesting look into marriage, just as the title says, together and alone.

[Beverly · Rating 2 out of 5]

This one was a little slow and difficult to get into.

[B. Goodwin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Unique (?) perspective. Certainly an exceptional perspective.