Pets Who Want to Kill Themselves: Featuring Over 150 Suicidal Pets!

by Duncan Birmingham

PEOPLE LOVE THEIR PETS.

SOME PEOPLE LOVE THEIR PETS
A LITTLE TOO MUCH.


Who could blame Mr. Whiskers for trying to high-dive from a penthouse window or Fluffy for crawling into a washing machine? After being dressed up for Halloween, married off in elaborate weddings, toted everywhere in baby backpacks, or just plain coddled within an inch of their sanity by obsessively doting owners, these pets are on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Or worse. They’d call the suicide hotline–but they don’t have fingers.

Genres: Humor, Dogs, Nonfiction, Photography, Animals

160 pages, Paperback

First published December 1, 2009

About the author

Duncan Birmingham is a writer, TV producer and filmmaker in Los Angeles.

He started his career writing for The Weekly World News ("the world's most outrageous tabloid") and later sold numerous screenplays including "Swingles" which was featured on The Black List and sold to Paramount where Cameron Diaz became attached.

He helped create the IFC series Maron (with Marc Maron) and was a writer and executive producer on the show as well as a writer and co-executive producer on the Jonathan Ames show Blunt Talk on Starz. He's written on a variety of other series including HBO’s David Fincher project Videosyncrazy and sold his own original shows including his comedy Foodies to AMC.

His fiction has appeared in literary magazines including Brooklyn vol 1, Maudlin House, Joyland, nerve, Word Riot, Satire, Opium, Story Chord, The Oxford Review and Mystery Tribune. His essays have been featured in Joyland, Forge, nerve and Mr. Beller’s Neighborhood. He's the author of the tasteless humor book, Pets Who Want To Kill Themselves (Random House).

Short films he’s written and directed have played at festivals including Sundance, AFI, GenArt, Miami Film Festival, Cleveland International Film Festival, Los Angeles Film Festival, LA Shorts Fest, San Diego Film Festival, Williamstown Film Festival, Catalina Film Festival, HorrorHound Weekend, New York No Limits and the New York Film Festival.

The Cult in My Garage (Maudlin House, 2021) is his first book of fiction.

Reviews

[Peacegal · Rating 4 out of 5]

What is Fluffy thinking when he’s wrestled into a frilly costume and photographed? Is it “Mama thinks I’m speshul” or “I wanna head for the nearest open window”? This humorous book attempts to answer that question with admittedly adorable critters and text explaining their bitter innermost thoughts.

And thus we have a pooch adorned in a turquoise sweater with matching bow and sunglasses: “She dresses me like this ‘cause it’s cheaper than getting me spayed.” Or how about a undersized dog in a lobster costume with her owner sporting a bib and fork…which just might say a lot more about our relationship with animals than the photographer intended.

It’s the LOLPets plus ennui.

[melissa · Rating 2 out of 5]

A few cute photos overshadowed by captions that were trying far too hard to be clever and often just seemed bitter and cruel.

[Meaghan · Rating 2 out of 5]

Meh. Not funny. Just a bunch of pictures of pets wearing hideous costumes that must have been hot and uncomfortable; some animals even had their fur dyed, which I think is wrong. Even the snarky captions weren't funny. I didn't even chuckle.

[Kloe · Rating 1 out of 5]

Oh gosh . This is just so bad . Jokes aren't funny . Only the title is funny enough to attract my attention. I thought it'd be funny and creative but it's just another lame shit .

[Duncan Birmingham · Rating 5 out of 5]

A masterpiece.
Better than the Bible.

[Dione Sage · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pets who want to kill themselves: Featuring over 150 suicidal pets written by Duncan Birmingham is a fun little read. I received this book as a Christmas present and found the funny little stories to be very entertaining. Since I have several animal loving friends and family members this book was even more comical because I often have felt sorry for little members of the inner circle such as the tiny Chihuahua of a certain family member of mine that is often found wearing a spiked leather collar and a black and pink shirt that reads “Bad to the Bone”. I mean really that has to be tough for the little ‘guy’ to have to go on walks in the park and have other dogs look at it. This book is filled with stories and pictures of dogs dressed ridiculously and from their point of view one can almost imagine what they must think. Shortly after receiving this book I went and found my dog and took of the little Christmas sweater and holiday booties that I had dressed it in for the day and apologized as well as gave her a few extra treats. I still find it fun though to dress her up on Halloween but now I do try to pick outfits that fit her spunky little personality! This is a funny book that I would recommend to any pet owner or animal lover.

[Karen Siddall · Rating 1 out of 5]

I really enjoy the cat and dog picture collection books but this one - not so much. Some of the pictures included were of poor quality and the captions not really funny. Like the title says - suicidal pets - so think what a suicidal pet would say ??? Anyway, not my cuppa. But if we all liked the same thing ...

Definitely NOT for the kiddies.

[Kristal Stidham]

An excellent new angle to the "Stuff on My Pet"-type books. This is mostly animals in costume, looking as thrilled as you would expect. Wow, the lengths to which humans will go! I have to admit, though -- I'm dying to put my kitty in a baby backpack and go for a hike!

[Terri · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is book of photos of poor pets dressed in ridiculous outfits and captions of what they might be thinking that are absolutely hilarious at times. My favorite is a poor little dog standing beside a man in a kilt saying Don't look up...Don't look up....

[Rebecca · Rating 4 out of 5]

...2 sillibles-FUN-NY! XD

I DON'T KNOW THE DATE I FINISHED ANY OF MY BOOKS. SO STOP BUGGIN' ME 'BOUT IT. XD I OWN ALL THE BOOKS I PUT ON HERE UNLESS I SAY OTHERWISE.

[Heather · Rating 1 out of 5]

A bit too disturbing. Language and sexual references make it inappropriate for teens.

[Katie · Rating 4 out of 5]

A cute, quick read for any pet-lover. It's more about the photos than anything else, so it's a great coffee table book. I'd recommend it for a laugh!

[Teddie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny book