The Lives Our Mothers Leave Us: Prominent Women Discuss the Complex, Humorous, and Ultimately Loving Relationships They Have with Their Mothers

by Patti Davis

The title The Lives Our Mothers Leave Us encapsulates what this book by Patti Davis is about. No matter what a woman achieves in her life, no matter how old she gets or whether or not she herself becomes a mother, she is always and forever a daughter. The Women Whose Stories Are Included . . .Patti Davis Anne RiceCarolyn See Marg HelgenbergerMelissa Gilbert Carnie WilsonRosanna Arquette Mariel HemingwayAnna Quindlen Angelica HustonMary Kay Place Ruby DeeFaye Wattleton Julianne MarguliesLily Tomlin Diahann CarrollCandice Bergen Marianne WilliamsonLorna Luft Whoopie GoldbergAlice Hoffman Cokie RobertsKathy SmithLinda Bloodworth Thomason

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir

253 pages, Paperback

First published April 1, 2009

About the author

My new book, Dear Mom and Dad, is the end of a long journey toward understanding my family. My hope is that readers will be inspired to take a step back and look at their own families through a wider lens. Families are all complicated to some degree, certainly mine was, but in this book I also explore the times when there was just love there. That's part of our story too.

Reviews

[Kim · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this book as "research" for the novel I am writing. There are three mothers and four daughters in my story. They all have complicated relationships. I wanted to read about other mothers and daughters to get ideas and insights into this complicated dynamic. So in that sense this book did turn out to be worth reading for me. As a memoir in general, it was a bit thin. There are 24 mother daughter stories. They include Patti Davis herself (for those who don't know she is Ronald and Nancy Reagan's daughter) and 23 other notable women including; Lily Tomlin, Candice Bergen, Julianna Margulies, Whoopi Goldberg and Anne Rice. But instead of each woman telling her story, Davis interviews them and then she writes about their relationship with their mother. So everything filters through her in a way that loses some of the real emotion and insight that would have come from the women themselves. All the stories have a sameness about them somehow, and at times they are a bit sickly sweet.

[Sharlyn Zimmerman-Tollefson · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was an easy read, interesting short stories from several different women, some whose mothers died when they were quite young, yet had a profound effect on who they grew up to be.

[Kathryn F McCann · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just finished this and I highly recommend this. We don’t always get along with our mother’s but they had a life before we came along.

[Karen Brophy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nice stories about mothers and daughters. However, it's dated. I had thought to pass it on to my daughters to read, but they weren't familiar with most of the daughters!

[Jen · Rating 3 out of 5]

My stepmom gave me this title as a mother's day gift.
Basically, it's a collection of interviews with celebrities, talking about the impact that their mothers have had on their lives. It felt to me that Patti Davis used this project therapeutically - it's no secret that Davis and her mother Nancy Reagan have not always gotten along. Her prose is heavily influenced by the writings of Marianne Williamson (one of the women included in the collection) and by therapy-talk in general.
I didn't treasure every single moment of reading this book but was heartened to discover that all of us have mom issues, even the most famous among us. A wise woman once told me that "You're never done with your mom." This is a good book to read if you're interested in reframing some of your own personal mom issues. I wouldn't read it straight through like I did, but reading an essay now and again, much like you should eat that box of Mother's Day chocolates, will give you plenty to think about whether your mom is your best friend or part of your continuing struggles.

[Gail · Rating 1 out of 5]

I wanted this book to have more of a "feel good" tone to it.
While there is praise for the mothers in question, and what they have offered their daughters - whether it be grace, fortitude, a strong backbone, or a desire to be a better mother themselves, overwhelmingly I felt that this book was more about how the authors' suffered from their relationships with their mothers.
There were a few stories (Carnie Wilson, Whoopie Goldberg, etc) who thanked their mothers for being so inspirational, I really felt that most of the stories should have had a caveat at the end of them.
"I thank my mother now, but boy, did I/we go through hell to get to this point."

Personally, Carrie Fisher's "Wishful Drinking" made for much better reading.

[Mary · Rating 3 out of 5]

A collection of interviews by Patti Davis (daughter of Ronald Reagan) with many notable women (older than 40 years old- she picked older women so that they would have more perspective on their relationships with their mothers having lost them or becoming mothers themselves). While many of the narratives were funny or touching, I was disappointed that they were not written by the women who were interviewed, it would have been engaging to read the stories in the women's own voices. Also a bit annoying was the author constantly inserting herself into the stories ("yes, I often had the same issue with my own mother...") and her tendency to try to wrap everything up into some type of lesson. Sometimes things just happen, and there really is no "everything happens for a reason" ending.

[Lori · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought the essays in this book would be written by the women featured. Instead they are interviews written by Patti Davis. So that was a bit of a disappointment, though not a strong one. I love how the women, even those who had really difficult relationships with their mothers, are able to find the pieces of themselves that reflect their mothers. They are able to find the positives and, as adults, have made peace with the choices their mothers made and the influence they had. I think I will be thinking about this book and the stories in it for a long time.

[Deborah Cottrell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Impressive , don't let this pass you by. A MUST READ

This is the first time I have read a book by Ms. Davis and I was pleasantly surprised, I could not put it,I read the whole book in one setting. I so enjoyed hearing about all the other characters and their relationship with their mother. Patty did them proud. I feel proud that she wrote this book knowing she had such a difficult time with her own mother. Thank you Patty , reading this book has started me on the journey to understanding why my Mom abandoned me and my brother and sister. NAMASTE

[Jess · Rating 2 out of 5]

This has been on my bookshelf since the Borders Express days (#0250!!!) and I finally got around to it. Much like the "How to Sew a Button..." book, it was a bit of a let down, but not entirely. I'm sure that a lot of these stories have changed seeing that it was published in 2009. I'm pretty sure all of the women featured in the book were age 40 and up but that didn't bother me since if you are a woman, you are a daughter, so you can relate!

[Marsh · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great book to read over Mother's Day. Patti Davis has interviewed a wide range of people (Melissa Gilbert, Whoopi Goldberg, Lorna Luft, and more) who are over 40 to talk about how their mothers still live in them to a certain degree. Our mothers are a part of us and continue to influence long after we have left home.

[Liz · Rating 4 out of 5]

The lives our mothers leave us, is of heart wrenching tales of moms and daughters. Many times daughters dont realize what their mothers had to give them until the mothers were gone from their life, but were still able to benefit and grow from.

[Kshappert]

Easy read about famous mothers and daughters and their enduring and complicated relationships. I thought the book would have more psychology...quickly realized there was no qualification for that. But decent enough read

[Gato Negro · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've read better memoirs about mothers and daughters, but the section on Nancy Reagan, alone, was good enough to pick this book up for.

Re-read this 6 years later and appreciated it more. Upgrading to 4 stars.

[Carol · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some stories were quite interesting. I think Patti Davis is a good writer. Didn't expect that.

[Brenda · Rating 1 out of 5]

Maybe just not in the mood for this syrupy stuff.

[Kathisbooks1219 · Rating 4 out of 5]

very interesting mother/daughter relationships i would highly recomend this and another Patti davis book the Long goodbye. about her Dad President Reagan

[Lorraine · Rating 3 out of 5]

A bit of a light read, interviews with such gals as Mariel Hemingway, Candace Bergen, Whoopi Goldberg, Ann Rice, Lorna Luft, outline their mother daughter relationships.

[Linda · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have been reading one of these short stories every day. It is a very good read.

[Susie · Rating 4 out of 5]

A friend recommended this book to me. I have gifted it several times over. I think it's a very good read for those of us who have lost and miss our mothers.

[Cathy Guidry · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great book to reflect on my motherhood and that of my own mother.

[Anne Marshall · Rating 3 out of 5]

A great book about famous daughters and their mothers. Marg’s story was beautiful.