When Gay People Get Married: What Happens When Societies Legalize Same-Sex Marriage

by M.V. Lee Badgett

Winner of the 2010 Distinguished Book Award from the American Psychological Association’s 44th Division (the Society for the Psychological Study of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Issues)

An in-depth, transnational primer on the current state of same-sex marriage post legalization

The summer of 2008 was the summer of love and commitment for gays and lesbians in the United States. Thousands of same-sex couples stood in line for wedding licenses all over California in the first few days after same-sex marriage was legalized. On the other side of the country, Massachusetts, the very first state to give gay couples marriage rights, took the last step to full equality by allowing same-sex couples from other states to marry there as well. These happy times for same-sex couples were the hallmark of true equality for some, yet others questioned whether the very bedrock of society was crumbling. What would this new step portend?

In order to find out the impact of same-sex marriage, M. V. Lee Badgett traveled to a land where it has been legal for same-sex couples to marry since 2001: the Netherlands. Badgett interviews gay couples to find out how this step has affected their lives. We learn about the often surprising changes to their relationships, the reactions of their families, and work colleagues. Moreover, Badgett is interested in the ways that the institution itself has been altered for the larger society. How has the concept of marriage changed? When Gay People Get Married gives readers a primer on the current state of the same-sex marriage debate, and a new way of framing the issue that provides valuable new insights into the political, social, and personal stakes involved.

The experiences of other countries and these pioneering American states serve as a crystal ball as we grapple with this polarizing issue in the American context. The evidence shows both that marriage changes gay people more than gay people change marriage, and that it is the most liberal countries and states making the first move to recognize gay couples. In the end, Badgett compellingly shows that allowing gay couples to marry does not destroy the institution of marriage and that many gay couples do benefit, in expected as well as surprising ways, from the legal, social, and political rights that the institution offers.

Genres: Nonfiction, LGBT, Sociology, Law, History

307 pages, Hardcover

First published July 19, 2009

Reviews

[Sidewalk_Sotol · Rating 2 out of 5]

The strength of this book is that it provides a cross-country comparison of how different 1st world governments have differing ways of regulating couples. For instance, did you know that Holland has 4 different designations for couples living together?

Holland is the focus of Lee Badgett's interviews and from where she draws most of her data concerning how gay and lesbian couples see marriage and their reasons for marrying or not marrying.

This book, however, is definitely biased by the author's politics and the way that she designed the research study. The author is a white lesbian economist who got married in her state of Massachusetts after she returned from the Holland, where same sex marriage has been legal since 2001. To the 38 couples in her study, she sent a recruitment email to a few friends and colleagues who work/live in Holland, and they forwarded that email to their friends and colleagues. Of the 38 couples that she interviewed, almost all were middle class or upper middle class and only 2 of the people in her study come from a non-European country and each of these people are coupled with a person of Dutch ancestry. Typical, really.

It is not surprising therefore, that her assessment of the politics of marriage, including of those voices in the LGB community who disagree with marriage as a political and/or personal objective, ignores issues of racialized citizenship and the ways that socio-economic class affect who actually gets to reap the benefits from marriage as THE driving priority of gay and lesbian organizations. Therefore, she quickly dismisses most of the criticisms leveled at both the institution of marriage and at the gay and lesbian organizations who have really pushed this particular issue into the forefront.

[Nate · Rating 2 out of 5]

Although there is bias, and the research is on the shallow and (somewhat) poor side, Ms. Badgett still does a pretty good job, albeit in an extremely dry textbook-like fashion, of summarizing what couple and cohabitation arrangements are possible throughout the world, and what effects they have on the culture of a country and its legal framework.

So if you don't have time to read this book, I'll just answer the question for you that is posed on cover: What Happens When Societies Legalize Same-Sex Marriage?

Turns out, pollution rises, the hole in the ozone layer expands, priests start molesting children, multiple wars happen, church-goers start drinking fake blood, cancer, autism, and obesity rates all skyrocket, .... wait a second, that's just the list of crap already happening.

Ah yes, the list for the legalization of same-sex marriage is far less climactic. Turns out pretty much nothing changes; well, except that the discrimination and disenfranchisement of a class of people is lowered.

BORRRRINNGGG, and here I was expecting for at least a city or two to combust, or for the sanctity of marriage (whatever that is) to be burned in a sacrificial ceremony or something. No plague, no civil war, no rioting, no children lost, no civilization ends, nothing. The answer, much like the prose of this book, is dull from beginning to end :/.

[Kenneth Finnegan · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are at all interested in the issues at hand with same-sex marriage, this is the book for you. Badgett goes into incredible detail about not only specific case studies, but on general trends and statistics, showing what the effects, and what is not the effects of legalizing same-sex marriage, civil unions, etc.

As someone living in California, I found it an interesting book simply by merit of it being a professional commentary on the matter. Understandably, in the last year I have been given an incredible volume of misinformation by both sides of the issue (which is also touched upon in the book), so to have someone come out and at least have a mature thesis on the matter is refreshing.

I have found it to be generally heavy reading. It's a book that I had to read half a chapter of, and then spend some time simply digesting the ideas about it before moving on. Do I think this warrants knocking a star off of it? Not really; this book is meant to be a very serious commentary on the subject, and it reads as such.
DISCLAIMER: I won this book from a Goodreads Giveaway.

[Gwen · Rating 5 out of 5]

M.V. Lee Badgett's "When Gay People Get Married" on same-sex marriage in the Netherlands (and the US) is still highly relevant 15 years after publication. It gives insights into the meaning-making around same-sex marriage within couples, families and society using in-depth interviews and statistics.

While the Netherlands are a special case with low influence of religion on values and rather progressive views in society, the (micro and macro) processes of acceptance and changing views on marriage probably happen in most countries that have introduced same-sex marriage in recent years. Badgett compares countries, analysing factors that lead to early adoption of same-sex marriage, which was one of the most informative parts of the book to me.

[Linda Anderson · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author organized the book well and presented her thoughts factually. The book makes you think about what comes next and side issues that need consideration. It is sad marriage has become more of a secular consideration rather than religious. Makes me wonder whether the church needs another term with our religious revivals happening.

[Ms. Online]

SAME SEX, DIFFERENT CONTINENT
Sal Renshaw

Review of When Gay People Get Married: What Happens When Societies Legalize Same-Sex Marriage
By M.V. Lee Badgett
New York University Press
Amid the intense controversy still surrounding same-sex marriage in the U.S., M.V. Lee Badgett speaks in a refreshingly tempered voice. Drawing on European precedents, particularly in the Netherlands and Denmark, her research tells us what many of us already knew: The skies don’t fall when gay couples attain the right to marry, and heterosexual marriage doesn’t lose its luster. Since the first wave of the marriage equality movement in Europe, which began in 1989 with the Danish acceptance of civil unions and saw the Dutch allow same-sex couples to marry in 2001, there has been no appreciable difference in wedding rates among heterosexuals.

Badgett discovered that same-sex couples define marriage the same way as do heterosexuals, and they marry for similar reasons: public affirmation and recognition of their commitment, economic security and considerations about children. Given the choice between marriage and registered partnership, they choose the former. Using European examples as a template, Badgett offers a way of thinking more rationally about samesex equality in the U.S.

If rationality and truth were what the debate here is actually about, there might be more hope for her work’s impact— which is not to be taken as a criticism of the book itself. It’s a fine piece of social-science research, painstakingly detailed and compelling in its findings. But the debate in the U.S., thus far, has proven remarkably resistant to the cool voice of reason. Americans’ opposition to same-sex marriage is founded on religious ideology and faith, as was also the case with the Europeans. The vital difference, however, lies in the much closer ties between religion and politics in the U.S.

Last year’s successful Proposition 8 campaign in California, which saw the state’s constitution rewritten to exclude same-sex marriage just 12 months after it had been affirmed as a constitutional right, was a massive display of public propaganda funded by religious conservatives. And despite the U.S. Constitution’s ostensible separation of church and state, the theocratic Bush years gave rise to an unprecedented slate of supposedly secular social policy initiatives that were little more than Trojan horses for right-wing Christian values.

Badgett, an economics professor at the University of Massachusetts, Amherst, and research director of UCLA’s Williams Institute, which studies gay legal issues, found that countries that have granted marriage equality or registered partnerships have in common high cohabitation rates, low religiosity and high socialservice expenditures. A similar pattern can be seen in the U.S.: States that have granted rights of partnership or marriage are socially progressive and, more importantly, tend to vote Democratic. Perhaps the trend toward legalizing same-sex unions indicates a resurgence of commitment to the separation of religion and politics, something much of the Republican Party has shamelessly abandoned. Badgett offers a reassuring portrait of marriage equality in Europe, but in the bitter, religiously fueled struggle over the definition of marriage in the U.S., she may be preaching to the converted.

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SAL RENSHAW, PH.D., is chair of the department of gender equality and social justice at Nipissing University in North Bay, Ontario, Canada. She is the author of The Subject of Love: Helene Cixious and the Feminine Divine (Manchester University Press, 2009).

[Mary Whisner · Rating 4 out of 5]

Badgett spent a sabbatical in the Netherlands, studying same-sex marriage by interviewing couples, gathering research, and comparing countries' policies. There is an interesting range. For example, in the Netherlands, both straight and gay couples can choose marriage or registered partnership. In the US, some people argue for marriage equity so that same-sex partners can have improved access to health insurance, pensions, Social Security, and so on. But in most European countries, the social welfare system means that marriage is less important for economic security. In addition to reporting her research, Badgett also reflects on her own situation: marriage became available in her home state, Massachusetts, while she was in the Netherlands.

[Maria · Rating 3 out of 5]

When I initially began reading this title, I thought I'd give it at least four stars. It gets off to a great start. It forced me to think about marriage in ways I had never considered before, but it seems to lose its momentum. The last half of the book is a bit of a snooze.

[Dominique · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this as additional research for one of my sociology papers. Badgett gives excellent insight into the effects and non-effects of legalizing same-sex marriage by doing extensive research in nations that have already done so.

[Miriam · Rating 3 out of 5]

Academic and somewhat dry, the book still gives a through analysis to the growth of gay marriage over the past two decades.