Who We Are Now

by Lauryn Chamberlain

Four friends. Fifteen years. Who We Are Now is a story of Sliding Doors moments, those seemingly small choices of early adulthood that determine the course of our lives.

It is 2006 and Rachel, Clarissa, Dev, and Nate are best friends, seniors on the eve of their college graduation. Their whole lives are before them, at once full of promise and anxiety. Bound to one another as they are, they imagine their closeness will last forever--but things change as they take their first steps away from one another and into adulthood.

Each year is told from one character's point of view, and in that way, we stride swiftly through their lives. These four friends feel their twenties and thirties flying by, and suddenly small moments fast become regrets or unexpected boons, decisions they'll spend years wishing they could undo and choices that come to define them. As the foursome endure professional setbacks, deep loss, and creative success, fortunes shift and friendships strain--and it will take a tragic turn of events to bring them together again.

Who We Are Now is a poignant story of epic friendship that jumps boldly through the years, moving at the same unforgiving pace as does that precious, confusing time between college and real life. This novel is perfect for readers who adore tales of friendship, explorations of the second coming of age moment that arrives in our thirties, and fans of Meg Wolitzer's The Interestings or Dolly Alderton's Ghosts.

Genres: Fiction, Contemporary, Audiobook, Coming Of Age, Romance, Adult, Literary Fiction

352 pages, Paperback

First published August 8, 2023

Reviews

[Arvin Ahmadi · Rating 5 out of 5]

I adore this book. The premise is simple: four friends, fifteen years. But we all know friendship is anything but simple. It's messy and complicated, and dramatic too, which is exactly what you're getting here with Dev, Clarissa, Rachel, and Nate.

I think when we hear the word "epic" we often think of battles and war and death, but I would argue that stories like this--subtle but sweeping, filled with moments of happiness and sadness and jealousy, anger and disappointment, constantly ebbing and flowing like an unpredictable but vital river--are just as epic.

Anyway, that was a lot of big words for a review that could have just been THIS BOOK IS INCREDIBLE YOU HAVE TO READ IT

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m trying to get all my August reviews out before the month ends so today let’s review this nostalgic, perfect for the summertime book about four best friends from college and their lives in the years after.

This was a real pleasant surprise for me and with the beautiful bright cover I was happy to read a pretty complex take on life after college. I REALLY struggled after college - my complete identity was revolved around who I was in college, my job and my group of friends. It was the highest point in my life. After I graduated, there were a lot of challenges and I thought this book did a great job of painting four very realistic post college experiences. I loved how the author wrote in four narratives, but she moved the story along very well and made sure you knew what was going on with everyone even when you weren’t reading about that particular character. This book could have easily gotten bogged down in too much detail in many ways and it didn’t. It moved along really smoothly.

As far as format goes, either will be great. I started the book in print, but switched to audio after the first 100 pages. The narrator was great. This is definitely a book worth your time!

Review Date: 08/16/2023
Publication Date: 08/08/2023

[BookishVegan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was reminiscent of a indie 2000a, late 90s movie. It felt very realistic, maybe because I am the target audience, an older millennial. The writing was well done.
Solid 4-5 stars for the writing.
This is an excellent read and not at all
A feel good read
This is for someone looking for a taste or nostalgia or a close to home /realistic /bittersweet story about friendship and the ups and downs of becoming an adult, loss, love, growth and everything in between.

Thanks NetGalley

[Shannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a heartfelt (and heartbreaking at times) coming of age story that follows four college friends from graduation to adulthood as they help support one another through life's ups and downs.

From career highs and lows to new loves, addiction problems, coming out and unexpected deaths. This one will tug on your heartstrings and be completely relatable to the millennials out there.

I graduated at the same times as these characters (2006) and so much of this book struck true for me! Highly recommended for fans of books like Emily Henry's Happy Place or the movie Reality bites. AMAZING on audio too narrated by my very favorite, Brittany Pressley!

Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an early digital copy and @prhaudio for a complimentary ALC in exchange for my honest review!

CW: alcoholism, drug addiction, parents with cancer, death of a friend

[Christine The Uncorked Librarian · Rating 2 out of 5]

Advanced Review Copy | I really wanted to like Who We Are Now, especially in a year when Steven Rowley's The Celebrants also came out. I had high hopes for an equally worthy and similar story. Even more exciting, I graduated in the same year as the main characters. This is where my excitement ended, though.

Unfortunately, Who We Are Now was a DNF for me, and trust me, I tried... and tried... and tried... The novel's only redemption from 1 to 2 stars is that there were a few brilliantly thoughtful sentences about the nature of friendship and aging.

My biggest qualm is that the story is just boring and plotless, grounded in stereotypes and little else. Following four friends, everything felt contrived, and the author added nothing new to this coming-of-age, friends-over-the-decades narrative. I found myself halfway in asking, what is the point of this book?

Who We Are Now is also a very cookie-cutter white story, as others have also noted, with one person of color who oddly writes a book post 9/11 even though he didn't experience it. It feels off and so out of place... It makes little sense to include this.

Skimming to the end to see who died (it's the person you will guess from the start) also felt... kinda gross.

Possible TWs for rape/sexual assault (it was implied, but I didn't finish the book to find out), addiction, and more

Thank you to the publisher for a free advanced copy in exchange for a fair and honest review.

[hannah ☆ ୨ৎ˚࿔ · Rating 3 out of 5]

The premise of this book made me so nostalgic, I couldn’t wait to pick it up! I loved how this book starts with 4 best friends in college in the mid 2000s, and then follows them for years post-graduation. 🎓 When we first meet our 4 main characters they can’t imagine life without each other. But, as we know all too well, life happens, relationships drift, and time keeps moving forward. 🏙️

•what I liked•
-the writing style with each chapter covering a different year and character. It focused on one specific person while also managing to subtly give an update for that year on the other characters.
-the references to college life. Just made me think of my college days which were the best! 💜

•what I didn’t like as much•
-none of the characters were super relatable, at least not for me. As someone who loves to write I could relate a bit to Rachel who was an editor and dreamed of writing more. But besides that, the lifestyles and career aspirations just didn’t do anything for me.
-I never really felt the deep connection the characters supposedly had. It might be because we meet them at the end of college and at the beginning of their time starting to drift apart, but I didn’t feel myself rooting for these friends to come back together, if that makes sense. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Jessica · Rating 2 out of 5]

bummer. this one was unsatisfying. i chose this one to read bc I’m an older twenty’s gal navigating adult friendships with college pals. how relatable! But not really.

the characters were one-dimensional, stereotypical, and I felt no emotions on their behalf. even when the big reveal happened at the end, I felt nothing. this is saying something for a girl who balled during the finale of Riverdale.

also, the theme of friend jealousy is so strong in this one, and I really don’t relate to this emotion too much, so maybe it didn’t hit me that hard for that reason. Just not my cup of tea!

[Chloe (Always Booked) · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is one of my favorite kind of books, but its also really hard to review because theres not much of a plot. The book opens with a prologue in 2018 at a funeral. We don't know who died or how, but we know that 3 out of 4 friends are grieving the loss of the 4th friend. These kind of prologues draw me in immediately and I love it! Anywho, then we go back in time to 2006 when a group of 4 friends is about to graduate from Northwestern. They're roommates and best friends and after college 3/4 are going to NYC. The rest of the book is just following each of them year after year seeing how their friendship changes, how their lives unfold and eventually who dies. Clarissa is the one who stays in Chicago. She is queer and is not out to her family. She becomes a famous Youtuber. Dev doesn't really have a plan in NYC so he goes and eventually becomes a published author. Rachel is a little high strung and probably the most relatable character to myself. She starts working for the New Yorker magazine and eventually gets in to editing fiction. She probably takes the most traditional path. Then there is Nate who becomes a Wall Street guy but gets hit hard by the 2009 recession. This book tackled issues of sexuality, alcohol and drug abuse, cancer, rape, unrequited love and the power of friendship over the years, even if it looks differently than it once did. One thing I really appreciated about this book is that there is some talk about romances arising out of their friendships but this is not a "who is hooking up with who" book by any means. It is more just an exploration of the classic When Harry Met Sally idea that men and women can't be friends without someone wanting more out of the friendship. Thats a minor part of the book and I appreciated that. My only complaints about this book is that I wish we would've gotten a little more in the character's heads. My favorite POV's were definitely Rachel and Dev and I feel like its because we got to know them the best. Clarissa falls in love with a woman and is in and out of a relationship and we get to hear a lot of her thoughts about that, but we don't get much of the struggle (external or internal) in coming out to a family who doesn't approve. Nate takes a big hit and falls into drug abuse and we were told about AA and relapses, etc. but I didn't ever feel much from him. Overall, this was a good book with a lot of heavy topics. I really liked Rachel's exploration at the end of the road not traveled and what it all means. I also guessed pretty early on who would die but it was still so sad when it happened. Overall- great book!

[Desiree Reads · Rating 1 out of 5]

Read to 45%.
Interesting. Wanted to see where these recent college grads went with their real world angst.
Didn’t care for the gay storyline, however.

-Desiree Reads
August 23, 2025

[Mallory Allen · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.8 stars. I read like half of this in a day. This reminded me of the advice girl Hayes and how she talks about friendships and how they change throughout life.

[Kristin · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful serendipitous story of life told through 10+ years of friendship. It's a sliding doors story that digs into the "what if" questions we all ask ourselves at some point in our lives. Readers, this book is the Ross to our Rachel. Get it on your must read list.

[Magnus Jorgensen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Who We Are Now is an absorbing and poignant multi-perspective novel about how friends meander in and out of your life as you navigate growing up. The story is broken up into years, following the lives of four best friends from college - this structure really makes for a fast-paced read despite it not really being a strictly plot-driven narrative. You just get to know Rachel, Clarissa, Nate, and Dev, you let the vicissitudes of their lives (and love for one another) ebb and flow over you as they move through their twenties. I read Lauryn Chamberlain's first book 'Friends From Home' and you can tell this story is more ambitious in its scope and its voice. The city of New York is a character in itself, and despite how fast the years pass (or so they seem, especially in the last half), the story stays grounded and you really feel for this chosen family.

If you read the prologue, you'll know that there is tragedy looming in your periphery throughout, and this tension builds as you near the final chapters. I really enjoyed reading Who We Are Now, it felt like revisiting an old friend and talking about the people we used to be - over good wine, of course.

[melody]

i wish this was longer and that more of the realizations happened naturally rather than just being told

but a lot of the themes of young ambition and jealousy, not knowing what to do with your life or if you made the right choices, creativity vs. selling out, etc. etc. were wonderful and almost painful in how accurate they were, and idk how to end a review lol

[Laurie • The Baking Bookworm · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 STARS Who We Are Now is a coming-of-age, character-driven novel that follows the lives of four university friends after graduation as they find careers, experience love and heartbreak.

Through her main characters, Chamberlain incorporates many themes and issues that make great book club fodder. The story also has a strong nostalgic feel and took me back to my university/college days. Thankfully, my friends and I (one of whom I'm visiting this weekend) fared a much easier path than Rachel, Clarissa, Dev and Nate who each share their POV in this story that spans many years. It was interesting to get their takes, but with so many narrators, I didn't feel like I connected to any of them in a significant way.

This slower paced, melancholic story shows the messy, complicated side of life and the evolution of the friendship of these four flawed characters. This book didn't quite tick all the emotional boxes for me, but I know it will find its audience and I look forward to reading what Chamberlain writes next.

Disclaimer: My sincere thanks to the publisher for this complimentary digital copy that was provided in exchange for my honest review.

[Shannon (The Book Club Mom) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow! Lauryn Chamberlain sure knows how to write friendship fiction. I adored her debut novel, Friends from Home, and her latest, Who We Are Now has impressed me even more! My gosh, did I ever devour this novel, friends! It’s a fantastic story about a group of four college friends/roommates who graduate, then move on, venture into adulthood, and try to stay connected. In my experience, that’s a difficult thing to do. This novel will take you back to your college days, and have you reminiscing about the friendships and relationships you had back then. It’s such a tender time for a young adult—still feeling childlike, yet on the cusp of becoming a true grownup. I loved how this novel involved a co-ed group. Don’t get me wrong…I LOVE reading about strong female friendships, but there’s something truly special about a bond between a mix of genders. The dynamics are totally different, and the experiences are very unique. Rachel, Dev, Clarissa, and Nate are a dynamic group of characters that I’ll never forget. I found all of their individual adventures after graduation extremely relatable. They each navigate their own professional (and personal) setbacks, successes, romantic relationships, and a shared tragedy which brings on much loss, sadness, and grief. The ending broke my heart. I honestly could not get enough of this story. Who We Are Now is available now, and it gets 4.5/5 stars from me! Highly recommend!

[Anne · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars. 4 best friends meet at northwestern university and the book follows the next ~10 years of their lives post grad in Chicago and New York, exploring the choices they make and how that shapes their lives. All 4 of them have creative ambitions, but some choose to forgo those passions and opt for more stable, practical jobs instead which causes some resentments to ensue. Interesting look at how friendships ebb and flow throughout time. Overall I enjoyed reading this one

[Mary Gael · Rating 4 out of 5]

more of a 3.5 but rounding up bc this did move me! but it ended extremely abruptly - could have used a few more pages after the Event! but this was a really heartbreaking exploration of adult friendships and it made me wanna hug my friends so if you’re my friend reading this I love you :)

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it. Lots of college nostalgia and just great insight into friendships and coming of age. Lot of similarities. Loved the commentary on taking the “right” path or if there even is a right one.

[megan · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5* i've got mixed feelings on this one

[Danielle Van Huysen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is such a relatable, honest, nostalgic, and coming of age novel. From college to becoming adults, Chamberlain takes you through 4 friends point of views, during 3 different decades. Decoding the “sliding doors” in life and rethinking decisions they made and the “what ifs” of life as you navigate growing up.

It was so real and raw. I especially enjoyed her talking about when you know a part of your life is ending and the future is looking great—however in that moment you can feel a grief almost. I think it’s not talked about as much that two emotions can exist at a time in a persons life. And she does an exceptional job at writing this.

[Katharine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Even though this book wasn't what I expected (a light, fun story about friendship) I thoroughly enjoyed it. The cover makes it seem like something that it's not, which could do the book a disservice if people pick it up thinking it's one thing only to find out it's a much heavier story. But following these friends from the time they graduated college (the same year I did) all the way through their 40s was enjoyable, if incredibly sad at times. Their relationships felt realistic, as did the ways in which they tried to figure out who they were and what they wanted.

Thank you to Dutton for my copy. All opinions are my own.

[Marilyn Boyle · Rating 3 out of 5]

I did not feel this novel to be an enjoyable read, in part, because of the distancing third person, but also, because it was an overly long exposition of every detail that happened to all four main characters through the years. The character that seemed most central to the plot had faults that were not presented as such, and much of the dialog rang untrue, or awkward. Some of the phrases in the beginning sounded British or just off, surprising for an American author. These lessened as the story carried on, thankfully. As for "pouting" and "batting eyelashes", these are not endearing marks of a character's personality. Let's hope this was changed before publication.

As Chamberlain attended Northwestern University, I expect she was pulling from her first hand experience, but that does not necessarily make engaging reading for the rest of us, unless something propels us into the depth of the story. The climax felt manipulated, especially when underscored by the ultimate meaning of “stories” as presented by the author through Dev’s words. Although the characters explain what they are feeling or doing, the prose is overwrought while at the same time not showing us “the why” of it all.

I’m sorry not to have given this a better rating, but I do thank Penguin Group Dutton and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

[Morgan Mestan · Rating 3 out of 5]

This one took me way too long to finish. Some parts had me reading like there was no tomorrow, I was SO into it, and others were dragging and slow. It was a sweet story to read, especially as a senior in college, but something was missing the majority of the time for me. No regrets on reading it though!

[AndiReads · Rating 4 out of 5]

I grabbed this book for the Sliding Doors promotion. It is much more a story about four friends - beginning at the end of college in 2016 through more then a decade. I enjoyed it but thought it was a bit more telling than showing for the characters which ultimately caused distance. The quarter life crisis that they experienced is all too real though and I would recommend this story to anyone in their 20's/30's who has more of a found family in their lives. #Dutton #WhoWeAreNow

[Angela McVay · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really wanted to love this book about 4 college roommates and the story of their lives over the next 10 years, but I just didn’t. For whatever reason, I just couldn’t engage with the characters at all. It fell flat for me which is strictly what I tend to label “just not my cup of tea.” However, I would not dissuade someone else from reading this book.

Thank you Netgalley for this ARC in exchange for my honest opinion.

[Rebecca · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is my absolute least favorite type of book. I hate reading about the ordinary pain of being a person who is alive, growing up, and continuing to live. It’s like slowly being strangled by reality. If I wanted to feel this pain, I’d simply reflect on my own earthly experiences. I don’t need it spoon fed to me over three hundred pages.

[Dive Into A Good Book · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book brought me back to my college days. The love of friends that you turn into a family during those four years. Roommates that know every little thing about you. They remember stories you do not and vice versa. Lauryn Chamberlain brought me to tears many times, making me realize just how lucky I am that I still have a strong friend group, made up of my old roommates from college. The endless thread of messages marching through time. Each of us holding the others up, being there for one another no matter what, being the voice of reason. This book brings to life the friendship of four friends who met at Northwestern. Their bonds tight, their love strong. Will the test of time strengthen or destroy their friendships?

I loved how Who We Are Now, is told through multiple points of view, Rachel, Clarissa, Dev, and Nate. All bringing to light their emotions and their truths in each of their friendships. The intense, close bonds somewhat shattered as they each go off into the world. Developing and emerging into the grownup version of themselves. Trying to bring their dreams to life. Trying to stay friends, when everything around them has been altered into a new reality. Their lives tightly entwined. The test of time and space affecting their friendships. The unbreakable bond they have shared since college. Reality always taking a toll, but the love is always there. Thank you to Lauryn Chamberlain and Dutton for my trip down memory lane.

[Kenzie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love friendship books! This book follows 4 friends over 15 years — from college to their 30s. I thought it did a great job at showing how friendships ebb and flow & shift throughout your life. It also really captured the feeling of being happy where you are now, but also really missing your past too. It was also a reminder that your past selves and all the people you’ve know shape you — even if they don’t stay in your life forever.

I didn’t love the ending, and I definitely connected to some characters more than others. It also felt a bit slow at times. But I always appreciate exploring the messiness of growing up, so I’m glad I read it.

[emily vaca · Rating 5 out of 5]

Having adult friendships is really fucking hard, and Chamberlain perfectly executes that in these 4 once-best friends.

Rachel, Clarissa, Nate and Dev’s story hit me especially hard in this season of my life. The idea of moving away from the friends and life you’ve grown to love into something all new and hoping with all you have that you’ll stay connected to the people you’ve chosen as your family.

Their story, told over the course of 15 years and switching perspectives shows just how important communication is if you want to maintain friendships, whether they live down the street or across multiple states. My heart broke for some of them as they realized what they once had in common with one another and the love they shared either wasn’t there or wasn’t enough. Waking up one day and seeing that your life doesn’t resemble what it once was just a mere few years ago.

Many of the characters in the story struggled with finding purpose in their lives. As they watched their friends find success, it sparked both disappointment in themselves and a desire to do better. Friend jealousy is something that is sprinkled throughout the book and not something I see much in the lit world. I think it’s very common and was refreshing to see it spun in a realistic way.

All in all, I loved this book. I didn’t expect it to be a 5-star read, but it genuinely surprised me. I recommend this book to anyone in their mid-twenties who is struggling with their adult friendships.

[Gina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh man, I LOVED this book. Following four best friends from college graduation til they turn 35, I’m a sucker for following how things change over the years. I loved the friendships and the characters. A few of the career bits were lightly unrealistic, but a lot of the emotions and insights were extremely resonant so overall I just darn loved it.