Jake's Regret

by Shawn Lane

Eleven years ago, determined to be the son his father always believed him to be, former wide receiver Jake Fields broke up with his lover and teammate, quarterback Damian Grant, by leaving a note after a passionate night of sex. Now, all these years later, Damian shows up at Jake's father's funeral.

After a reunion night of making love, Damian is hoping for a renewed relationship with Jake, but when a woman from Jake's hometown sees them together, a still-closeted Jake panics and leaves Damian with only a note once more.

Now, when Jake's small town turns against him and his life goes from bad to worse, he realizes he needs to take a chance with the man he has never stopped loving. Will Damian forgive him or has he moved on from the man who keeps breaking his heart?

Genres: Gay / Contemporary / Sports / Athletes / Interracial / Multicultural

Genres: M M Romance, Contemporary, Romance, Sports, Short Stories, Friends To Lovers, Gay

56 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 8, 2009

About the author

Shawn Lane writes erotic gay romances and believes love and passion know no boundaries. Happily Ever After is for everyone.

In the past she has written heterosexual romances (see her backlist) but is now concentrating on gay romances.

Shawn lives in California and holds down a boring day job in a legal department of a giant corporation dreaming of the nights and weekends when she can create new stories.

Shawn loves to hear from readers, is happy to answer any questions, and has been known to send free books to fans just because.

Reviews

[Daisiemae · Rating 5 out of 5]

I know when I order a Shawn Lane book I am in for a treat. Her books are always unique because of the intensity of emotions and personal growth her characters must go through before they get together. There are a range of emotions that I feel when I read her novels. Anything from happiness to sadness her books allow me to experience it all. Don't get me wrong, I like the easy sweet stories as well as the next person. But, when I want to read a novel filled with alot of emotional angst and complex characters, her books are the ones I reach for time and time again.

I am not going to get too much into the storyline with this book. For one thing Ava and Sandy did a wonderful job at describing the storyline, so I feel like I would be just repeating what they said. I thought I would give the reasons why I really loved this book instead.

There were many reasons why I loved Damien Grant. He is a very honorable man. Not only that, his kindness and strength to others that aren't so kind to him make him a man I would love to know. His capasity to understand and forgive Jake for his mistakes show what a big heart he has. Life hasn't been easy for him, but he pulls through all of the obstacles and pain he has experienced throughout the years and come out as a better person for it.

I think the name of this book is perfect for the story that proceeds it. There are MANY mistakes Jake Fields has made in his life. I didn't see Jake as a weak person, I saw him as man who as been battered down with life and responsiblity. Jake comes from a very small southern town where forward thinking is not the norm. I guess I can relate to this because I too come from small southern community where anything different, whether it be the color of your skin to same sex sexual preferences, is frowned upon. So I understand where Jake is coming from. We all make mistakes, but the great thing is we hopefully learn from them and grow from them. That is what Jake does. It takes time for him to stand up for himself, but he does and when he does he stands the risk of losing everything and everybody he ever cares for. Knowing that, he still took a chance on Damien, and the life they could have together. I admired the fact that he followed his heart and found forgiveness (not only does Damien have to forgive him, but most importantly Jake must forgive himself) and happiness...that is just what he and Damien deserved.

I loved this book, but I also love imperfect heroes, and Jake captured my heart just like Damien did.

[Ava · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jake and Damien were professional football players, Damien the quarterback and Jake his wide receiver. They won many games together and also had a hot, passionate love affair. One they kept hidden. But then Jake ended their relationship with a note on the night before he was to leave town, traded to a new team.

Eleven years later, Damien shows up at Jake's father furneral. Jake's father was a bigot, and Jake tried his whole life to be the son his father wanted, to the point of hiding his sexuality and breaking things off with Damien, the only man he ever loved. Now Damien, who came out once he quit football, is back and wants to rekindle their romance. The real question is however, is Jake ready to have an open relationship with Damien?

Jake is this big, muscular ex-football player. Totally gorgeous guy, but he's lived so long in the closet that he isn't aware of his sex appeal and he isn't sure if he can live his life as an openly gay man. His Alabama hometown doesn't welcome homosexuals with open arms, and Jake's afraid everyone will turn his back on him if he comes out. Unfortunately for Jake, his worries aren't completely unfounded.

I think what I loved most about this story was Jake and Damien's obvious love for each other. They were truly meant to be together, and I felt it from the moment the 2 met on the page. They were sweet and tender and really hot together! Damien is patient and strong. He understands why Jake is the way he is, and doesn't get really upset when Jake freaks when the 2 men are found together by a woman from Jake's hometown. Jake's a guy who is physically strong, but has never used his strength to defend himself. Even when a punk picks on him, he walks away. He's used to hiding, not standing up for himself. Yet, he stands up for Damien, the man he loves, when Jake's aunt shows herself as a racist.

And in the end, Jake found strength within himself when he really needed it. He went after what he needed. Damien didn't make it easy for him, nor should he after the way Jake bolted on him, but he is Damien and loves Jake. So of course, there is a wonderful HEA.

[JenMcJ · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think this story could have been longer. I did not particularlry like Jake and I think that is because I didn't get enough of a chance to know him. Judging just by his action, he was not a sympathetic character.

I wonder even now, if Jake would have ever taken the steps he did if he hadn't been forced to.

[Donna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Regret... something that we all have had to deal with at one time or another in our lives. Jake's regret though is a bit complicated... not once, but twice he walks away from Damian with just a note. Fear... it is one of the few emotions that can make us do things that we would not normally do, like walking away from the one you love... twice! Bigotry... one of the most terrible things that cause people to treat others like they aren't even human beings. Learning to stand up to that hate, albeit in Jake's case it was perhaps forced upon him... but, he was the one that had to face his fears and choose to go after the man he loves. Love... the most wonderful feeling in the world when you are with the person that you know you are meant to spend the rest of your life with!

Yep, this story covered a lot of emotions... and left me with a satisfied feeling in my heart! :D

[The Novel Approach · Rating 3 out of 5]

ake’s Regret by Shawn Lane is a touching short story about two men who are looking for a second chance. As with most short stories, the limited number of words hampered the author’s ability to fully develop the characters and the setting, but she did manage to do a wonderful job of giving the reader a snapshot of the regrets we all face as we look back on our lives and reflect on the choices we’ve made.

The story starts on an odd note, with Damian returning to Jake’s hometown to pay respects at the passing of Jake’s father—despite the fact Jake’s father was a known bigot and had made Jake’s life miserable. And, Damian is black. What follows is a series of connections, missteps, and reconciliations that allow the reader to watch two men struggle to see if a connection still exists between them, even after so much time has passed.

While the speed of their physical attraction was no surprise, and the sex evocative and gratifying, the author did a better job of making one particular character more likable than the other. That’s not to say that the flawed character didn’t have his reasons for behaving the way he did, but the challenge of any author painting character flaws is to balance the negative with a deeper sense of the good person within. Ms. Lane does a good job of this, presenting history and internal dialogue to show his disappointment in himself.

As with any short story, the ending wraps up a bit too quickly, and you have to suspend your disbelief a bit since the full development of emotions and plot hasn’t spanned over two-hundred pages or so, but as a sweet read, one to give you some heated moments and also to pause for thought at whether you would make the same choices, this is a nice one.

Reviewed by Taz for The Novel Approach

[Elisa Rolle]

Eleven years before Damian and Jake were lovers; but there were a lot of obstacles to their happiness: they were professional football players in a period when gay football players weren't even considered to exist; Damian was an African-American man and Jake a white man, and they lived in deep south Alabama... actually I don't know if it is worst that Damian is gay or that he is African-American...; nor Damian or Jake were out of the closet and Jake came from a very bigot family. And so Jake took the easiest solution and gave up their love.

There is quite a justice after Jake's cowardice, since he went back home to live a life in the closet without really being the son his father wanted, and instead Damian, even if still mourning his lost lover, found another nice man and built a good life together with him. But now Jake's father is dead, and so is Damian's new lover, in a car accident. And Damian maybe thinks it's time to give a second chance to true love and comes in search of Jake. But old habit are hard to die, and even if he hasn't the weight of his father's inquisition on his shoulder, Jake is not really ready to welcome Damian back in his life.

The story is really short, less than 60 pages, but I found both characters interesting since they are not the strong and pure heroes; Damian probably is the one who is more near to the image of an hero since he is ready to bet on their love, not once but also two time; but he is not a mourning hero, he didn't swallow in sadness when Jake dumped him, he probably suffered for some time, and then went on with his life. Deep inside of him, he probably knew that his real love was Jake, but if he didn't loose his new partner by accident, he probably would have never searched Jake again. And even when we had a glance in Damian and Jake's past together, I had the idea that their was a great sex relationship, but probably it was not real deep love, and this is the reason why Damian could move on with another relationship.

On the other side there is Jake: I actually can't say that I like him so much. He is not a fighter, he always abandon the field. When his relationship with Damian started to give him problem, he left; when he has problem at work, he leaves (have you never heard of unfair discharge?)... actually I believe that he finally gives a chance to Damian, only since it's his last chance, and I don't know if this is so right for Damian.

Anyway, as I often said, it's not important if I like the characters as "person", it's not me that should have a relationship with them!, these characters are right for their story, they are likely, I like the fact that Damian didn't spend 11 years pining for a man he couldn't have, and I like that Jake, if not forced by fate, probably would have spent his life alone in his small town USA (as someone else did in the book...), it's probably what would really happen in real life; but this is a romance, and so, to the real life, the author adds a bit of sugar and gives to this two imperfect heroes another chance at love.

http://elisa-rolle.livejournal.com/53...

[Livia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jake has been in the closet for a long time, and he seems resigned to it, even if he is unhappy with his choice. When Damian, Jake's old lover, comes to his father's funeral, they get a second chance. The problem is that Jake can't make up his mind about what's more important, his old life or a possible life with Damian.
So at some point, Jake is outed to his whole homophobic small city, his worst nightmare. And what kind of horrible people live there.
In my opinion, Damian is more committed to the relationship. And looks like Damian loves Jakes more.
Damian always forgives Jake, but Jake runs at the first sign of trouble. And I understand that he's scared to have to confront his fears.
I liked the story more because of Damian than because of Jake. In a few pages, the author gives us angst, second chance romance, and finally a HEA.

[Bana · Rating 5 out of 5]

I started reading this evening, & finished it. It was a fast read & enjoyable too

[Kassa · Rating 2 out of 5]

This short story is really a combination of a few scenes put together as two past lovers reconnect in a happy ever after ending. Jake and Damien were professional football players together, as well as lovers until rumors of their “friendship” caused Jake to run away from Damien. Jake is deeply in the closet, so deep he is likely to be spitting moth balls as he struggles against a bigoted family and the typical pressure to appease a family that will never accept you. When Damien shows up unexpectedly at Jake’s father’s funeral, Jake can’t help but act on the lingering passion between them. However, when Jake’s secret is threatened, he pulls away yet again.

Jake is perfectly described by the author with the mental musing “he had never stood up for himself even as a kid”. Jake is a scared and weak willed man struggling against a family that is openly hostile and antagonistic to him and others. Without much background or characterization given to Jake, the impression left is a man who has drifted through life doing whatever his family wanted of him but being too scared and unsure to ever take a stand or have strong desires. If Jake hadn’t been caught with Damien and subsequently lost his job, no doubt Jake’s life would have continued as before in the same town, same house, same job with a vague dissatisfaction but the overwhelming fear and lack of courage to change his life. Jake is weak not because he makes poor choices, but because he has no courage, no conviction and above all no strength. He runs at every opportunity and never stands up for himself or his choices leaving every choice that is made against his will or in fear.

Damien on the other hand was a likeable and understandable character, for the most part. When Jake runs from their relationship leaving only a note, Damien does the smart thing and moves on, even if feelings linger Damien enters into a happy relationship that he would still be in if Chris had not tragically died. Thankfully Damien’s happy relationship with Chris is not trivialized or minimized with Jake’s reappearance and Damien is not willing to continue this back and forth emotional changing of Jake’s. Understanding only goes so far when it’s clear Jake lacks the strength of character to match Damien. However, as this is a romance, Damien forgives Jake and they live happy ever after.

This is a light, eminently forgettable romance that is notable by the number of issues the author chose to undertake, albeit rather poorly. As the author tends to write enjoyable fluff pieces of romance for entertainment, which is fine, it’s unfortunate she chose to tackle tougher issues that were largely unresolved and create a character that is given no depth, interest or charm. Jake spends the majority of the novel scared and running, acting badly towards everyone involved yet when his carefully constructed life explodes, he runs yet again, this time to Damien for the other man to make everything ok. It still remains to be seen why Damien still loved Jake ~ after everything ~ and furthermore, why he took him back so easily and quickly.

Although this didn’t work for me as a short story or an entertaining romance, if you’re looking for a quick, easy read with multiple sex scenes, this might work for you. I would recommend other pieces by this author though if you want light romance maybe bypass this one.

[jules0623 · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had a lump in my throat through this bittersweet story. I'm a sucker for 'true loves finding each other again' stories and this was brilliant. It was hard to feel sorry for Jake at first, to be honest. He dumped Damian with just a note eleven years ago then, after a nosy maid bursts in on them, does it a second time. But when he's forced out of his job and home by a homophobic community (and family), I did feel for him.

There's a happy ending which I think came about a little quickly. I would have liked to see Jake have to earn Damien back rather than play the "I've lost everything" card but both men were happy and contented in the end.

As was I. :)

[Dre · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 stars This book kind of started out of nowhere, and I never got a good feel for the back story other than Jake's family is bigoted, and so he broke up with Damian. And because the story was so short with not much back story, I didn't really feel any chemistry or a connection between these two. I also found Jake agreeing to spend holidays with his boyfriend's ex's family a bit ridiculous too. Who would agree to that?!

[Lipvixen · Rating 2 out of 5]

Oh please! Jake ran to Damien in the end because he was broke, jobless, in disgrace and had nowhere to go! Damien should have kicked him to the curb and watch him turn into a whino! A guy dumps you twice and expects you to just take him back? If you did you deserve to be treated like dirt in the first place.

[~SexyBookWorm~ · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was sooo nice to read a bokk that isnt about guys in their twenties for once! Thesetwo men Jake and Damian were friends and lovers in college. But Jake was closeted and afraid. He ran once and left Damian......with a Post It (SATC refrence lol). So even though this story is slightly predictable its so refreshing! Nice to see an interracial couple as well...

[Ms. Nikki · Rating 4 out of 5]

3 3/4 STARS~ A little more depth to the characters (especially Jake. He irked me) would have easily made this a 5 star read. Everything just seemed too...smooth? Even the angsty part was wrapped up quickly.

[Dee · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a well written short story with recognisable and even understandable emotional issues from the characters - I like to read both side of view and they were clearly demonstrated here. Hot sex, realistic feelings, it's all good, just a bit short.

[Ami · Rating 3 out of 5]

wish it has more meat or emotion but still it pretty nice read.

[Marlobo ♥ epilogues · Rating 1 out of 5]

1.5 stars

[Logan · Rating 2 out of 5]

meh

[Jason · Rating 2 out of 5]

Classic story with little development. Could have been so much more.....

[melek · Rating 5 out of 5]

can jake get a second chance and make things right.