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King John of Canada
A hilarious political satire in the tradition of Mordecai Richler.
This is a funny, biting political satire set in the not-too-distant future. A series of minority governments, and endless Quebec referendums (designed to lose narrowly, to keep the money coming) have left Canada almost ungovernable. When the Governor General resigns in disgrace and the House of Windsor implodes in London, a media baron launches the idea of a Canadian king or queen elected by lottery.
It starts as a joke — except that the lucky winner, King John, a bright and charismatic guy from Toronto, knows exactly what people want. Soon Quebec is gone, while Toronto’s surprise bid to leave Canada is averted by shifting his official residence, the new seat of power, to the Toronto waterfront. Many good things happen, and the politicians go along for the ride. And the blockades of Native lands are ended for good, after John is heroically wounded keeping the peace at risk to his life.
His popularity soars and Canadian morale soars with it. Soon the rest of the world is taking notice of this model leader. In the United States, the blue states look enviously northward. Then Canada’s king, ignoring assassination threats, goes on a formal visit to Washington. . .
From the Hardcover edition.
This is a funny, biting political satire set in the not-too-distant future. A series of minority governments, and endless Quebec referendums (designed to lose narrowly, to keep the money coming) have left Canada almost ungovernable. When the Governor General resigns in disgrace and the House of Windsor implodes in London, a media baron launches the idea of a Canadian king or queen elected by lottery.
It starts as a joke — except that the lucky winner, King John, a bright and charismatic guy from Toronto, knows exactly what people want. Soon Quebec is gone, while Toronto’s surprise bid to leave Canada is averted by shifting his official residence, the new seat of power, to the Toronto waterfront. Many good things happen, and the politicians go along for the ride. And the blockades of Native lands are ended for good, after John is heroically wounded keeping the peace at risk to his life.
His popularity soars and Canadian morale soars with it. Soon the rest of the world is taking notice of this model leader. In the United States, the blue states look enviously northward. Then Canada’s king, ignoring assassination threats, goes on a formal visit to Washington. . .
From the Hardcover edition.
336 pages, Paperback
First published February 13, 2007
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
July 10, 2024
A poignant, satirical commentary on modern Canadian culture, “There’s stupidity … and then there’s willful stupidity.”
Pick a country, any country. Look closely and it won’t take an astute observer long to determine that modern politics, modern government, modern courts and laws, and modern culture lie somewhere in a triangle bounded by “shitstorm”, “clusterfuck”, and “incurably dysfunctional”. The USA today, for example, is within a hair’s breadth of placing a convicted felon in the Oval Office, empowering him with the assistance of other varied criminals in their House of Representatives and the Senate, and enabling his conversion of the country to a neo-Nazi theocracy. (But I digress …)
I might prefer to think otherwise but Canada is not immune.
Its situation may be somewhat more peaceful (one might say somewhat more “Canadian”) but, sadly, we have our troubles. Ineffective minority governments created by an aging and ineffective “first past the post” electoral system drastically in need of revision; enormous disparities across the country in local language, culture, regional economics, provincial and municipal GDP, taxation, and employment; perennial head-butting with Quebec; aboriginal issues writ large; our very own national version of participation in the global flirtation with hard right wing politics; and so on. KING JOHN OF CANADA is a satirical vision of a country on the verge of national break-up, and provincial and municipal secession via the typically Canadian approach of democratic referendum, a country that comes to grip with its issues by the very unlikely method of dissolving the office of Governor-General, Canada’s head of state and local representative of the King or Queen of England, and installing its own down home monarch selected by (are you ready for this?) lottery!!
I was ecstatic over the enormous possibility for satire and commentary promised by KING JOHN OF CANADA’s brilliant creative premise. But, ultimately, I was sadly deflated by Gardiner’s inability to put together an interesting, compelling story line and novel that took advantage of those possibilities. Not to take away anything from his observations on Canadian culture and its current political situation, but KING JOHN OF CANADA just fell flat for me and, to be honest, I didn’t even bother finishing it.
Some of those observations:
“Quebec was the place where most money in Canada was spent, Toronto was the place where it was earned … Toronto’s duty was to be taxed. While the federal government pumped money from the city to pay for daycare in Quebec, Toronto’s public schools were being closed for lack of funding.”
On politics in journalism:
“If a liberal minister spoke approvingly of motherhood, headlines were to read: ”GOVERNMENT SLAMS DADS”. Managements with a Christian bias referred to employees of fertility clinics as “abortionists”, while writers for publications belonging to Jewish-owned syndicates understood that there was no other noun for the adjective “Palestinian” but “terrorist”. And so it went”
On the legalities of a referendum for secession:
“The plan was to position Toronto independence as a fait accompli. There was any number of legal barriers, of course – not the least of which was that, technically speaking, municipalities had no standing in the Constitution – but revolutions don’t respond to legal niceties.” (Something right-wing USA would do very well to bear in mind when they scoff at the Constitutional illegality of California or New York seceding from the USA. But, once again, I digress … )
On Quebec and bilingualism as national cultural policy:
“There was never any shortage of billboard-sized examples of Quebec’s contempt for English Canada … On one hand, here was the federal government spending tens of millions encouraging anglophones to learn French; on the other was Quebec, defying the country’s own Charter or rights in its determination to suppress the use of English in the province.”
Well, there’s plenty more where those came from but I think you get the idea. Lots of meat in KING JOHN OF CANADA but, for my money, it was presented poorly, it was under-cooked, and there were no potatoes, vegetables or dessert.
Sadly, not recommended.
Paul Weiss
Pick a country, any country. Look closely and it won’t take an astute observer long to determine that modern politics, modern government, modern courts and laws, and modern culture lie somewhere in a triangle bounded by “shitstorm”, “clusterfuck”, and “incurably dysfunctional”. The USA today, for example, is within a hair’s breadth of placing a convicted felon in the Oval Office, empowering him with the assistance of other varied criminals in their House of Representatives and the Senate, and enabling his conversion of the country to a neo-Nazi theocracy. (But I digress …)
I might prefer to think otherwise but Canada is not immune.
Its situation may be somewhat more peaceful (one might say somewhat more “Canadian”) but, sadly, we have our troubles. Ineffective minority governments created by an aging and ineffective “first past the post” electoral system drastically in need of revision; enormous disparities across the country in local language, culture, regional economics, provincial and municipal GDP, taxation, and employment; perennial head-butting with Quebec; aboriginal issues writ large; our very own national version of participation in the global flirtation with hard right wing politics; and so on. KING JOHN OF CANADA is a satirical vision of a country on the verge of national break-up, and provincial and municipal secession via the typically Canadian approach of democratic referendum, a country that comes to grip with its issues by the very unlikely method of dissolving the office of Governor-General, Canada’s head of state and local representative of the King or Queen of England, and installing its own down home monarch selected by (are you ready for this?) lottery!!
I was ecstatic over the enormous possibility for satire and commentary promised by KING JOHN OF CANADA’s brilliant creative premise. But, ultimately, I was sadly deflated by Gardiner’s inability to put together an interesting, compelling story line and novel that took advantage of those possibilities. Not to take away anything from his observations on Canadian culture and its current political situation, but KING JOHN OF CANADA just fell flat for me and, to be honest, I didn’t even bother finishing it.
Some of those observations:
“Quebec was the place where most money in Canada was spent, Toronto was the place where it was earned … Toronto’s duty was to be taxed. While the federal government pumped money from the city to pay for daycare in Quebec, Toronto’s public schools were being closed for lack of funding.”
On politics in journalism:
“If a liberal minister spoke approvingly of motherhood, headlines were to read: ”GOVERNMENT SLAMS DADS”. Managements with a Christian bias referred to employees of fertility clinics as “abortionists”, while writers for publications belonging to Jewish-owned syndicates understood that there was no other noun for the adjective “Palestinian” but “terrorist”. And so it went”
On the legalities of a referendum for secession:
“The plan was to position Toronto independence as a fait accompli. There was any number of legal barriers, of course – not the least of which was that, technically speaking, municipalities had no standing in the Constitution – but revolutions don’t respond to legal niceties.” (Something right-wing USA would do very well to bear in mind when they scoff at the Constitutional illegality of California or New York seceding from the USA. But, once again, I digress … )
On Quebec and bilingualism as national cultural policy:
“There was never any shortage of billboard-sized examples of Quebec’s contempt for English Canada … On one hand, here was the federal government spending tens of millions encouraging anglophones to learn French; on the other was Quebec, defying the country’s own Charter or rights in its determination to suppress the use of English in the province.”
Well, there’s plenty more where those came from but I think you get the idea. Lots of meat in KING JOHN OF CANADA but, for my money, it was presented poorly, it was under-cooked, and there were no potatoes, vegetables or dessert.
Sadly, not recommended.
Paul Weiss
March 3, 2017
Great book! Intelligently witty, full of Canadian satire, and though I did find the ending disappointing, the rest was quirkily charming.
September 12, 2010
The book starts off amazing. There's some amazing lines that show a great insight into Canada and the way things work here. Then the book continues and it becomes rather unrealistic. The author's understanding of the way government works and the country is run is very different from my understanding and as a result I really couldn't get into it. It increasingly felt like the author didn't think that there was anything to Canada outside of Quebec, Ottawa, Toronto, and Alberta. The ending was a huge let down. Of the entire book it was the most unrealistic aspect of it.
November 20, 2025
Interesting idea but middling to poor execution. A fellow, charming but your average Joe, wins the lottery to become a homegrown monarch of Canada and proceeds to rise above everything and unite the country into a force for good and common sense. There were some interesting flashes, and really cool moments, but this book had some major drag downs for me. The way the author talked about women, Aboriginals, Québec, environmentalists… just a kind of sneering demeanor and quips/ideology pulled out of the most mid range, reactionary centrist Atlantic articles. Seriously, the way he writes about women… sex pots, shrews, or Machiavelli in a skirt. The plot was fun, and it’s a fun thought experiment, but it kind of gets burdensome to plod through success after success, with no real resistance or failures? The ending really came out of nowhere, and he did not stick the landing. Hester was a promising character and hen she just… died in a car crash and there’s no mystery or follow through? I think maybe a more traditional narrative may have worked better but I’m not sure there’s enough there. Three is generous but I haven’t read a speculative fiction like this in a while and it’s a genre I like.
December 7, 2011
"King John of Canada" by Scott Gardiner is a tragedy. Cleverness, fixing grabby Quebec, poopy geese, and neglected military I like, gloomy buildup and wasteful end, bad wins, I hate. The narrator, self-imposed suffering in dangerous icy isolation, lends gravitas to a cockamamee crash of federal Canada political rut, then suicidal guilt. Et tu, Blue? Suspense weighs down into painful doom. Worst is the second-last chapter, his unnecessary end in a twisted Camelot knock-down by jealous deliberation, amid blurry Red Yank rambles. The author's philosophy is: "sex and conflict" p204 are news; "politicians create problems" p205; "bad news sells" p206.
A crown lottery-winner meets the Toronto mayor declaring secession. The couple have brilliance, brains, courage, charisma, daring, passion, compassion, luck. They spark off each other to scorch away the sluff of centuries. Real present issues are solved ("mirror diplomacy" (give us what you get) for Quebec partisans p147, geese droppings p163, conservative conservationists p169, control of guns that kill men, not animals p180, "applauding our troops" p287).
"All history is accident" p38 is disproved by the smallest gesture (twitch, opened button, daily vitamin) that direct the plot. Famous politician quotes p70, I disagree, associate Trudeau with "fuddle duddle".
Like comedy "The High Road" by Terry Fallis, this governs Canada starting with a naked woman in a boathouse upstairs bedroom, but takes a winding low dark descent. It dares: Now you know where I was going, read me again. I prefer heaven to hell, yet wish we could have authors' solutions.
A crown lottery-winner meets the Toronto mayor declaring secession. The couple have brilliance, brains, courage, charisma, daring, passion, compassion, luck. They spark off each other to scorch away the sluff of centuries. Real present issues are solved ("mirror diplomacy" (give us what you get) for Quebec partisans p147, geese droppings p163, conservative conservationists p169, control of guns that kill men, not animals p180, "applauding our troops" p287).
"All history is accident" p38 is disproved by the smallest gesture (twitch, opened button, daily vitamin) that direct the plot. Famous politician quotes p70, I disagree, associate Trudeau with "fuddle duddle".
Like comedy "The High Road" by Terry Fallis, this governs Canada starting with a naked woman in a boathouse upstairs bedroom, but takes a winding low dark descent. It dares: Now you know where I was going, read me again. I prefer heaven to hell, yet wish we could have authors' solutions.
December 11, 2010
This book is lucky it has such an interesting plot, otherwise I might have given up on it a third of the way through. The narrator is chronologically situated at the end of the story, so his retelling of the events feels rather distant, especially when he talks about his and the titular monarch's experiences in university. It therefore took me rather a long time to get really involved with the characters and go along for the satirical political ride.
Fans of Canadian politics will likely enjoy this book or certainly have a strong reaction at least; the usual touchstones of Quebec, regionalism, the armed forces and the Canadian identity are extensively played with here, often very amusingly. Some of it seems a bit more wish fulfillment as opposed to "this could actually happen", but this is fiction, after all, and that's one of the best parts of writing fiction: having characters do or say things you wish you could do. (That's certainly the only reason I write, which is also the reason I don't write for publication... a little wish fulfillment goes a long way.)
To sum up, read this if you like amusing novels about Canadian politics, but read it when you won't be distracted and when you're receptive to "what could be". Also if you're an English history buff, don't let the connotations of the title "King John" spoil the book. I will admit that's the first thing I think of when I see those two words together, like "Ugh, Lackland." This King John is a bit more competent and a lot more loyalty-inspiring.
Fans of Canadian politics will likely enjoy this book or certainly have a strong reaction at least; the usual touchstones of Quebec, regionalism, the armed forces and the Canadian identity are extensively played with here, often very amusingly. Some of it seems a bit more wish fulfillment as opposed to "this could actually happen", but this is fiction, after all, and that's one of the best parts of writing fiction: having characters do or say things you wish you could do. (That's certainly the only reason I write, which is also the reason I don't write for publication... a little wish fulfillment goes a long way.)
To sum up, read this if you like amusing novels about Canadian politics, but read it when you won't be distracted and when you're receptive to "what could be". Also if you're an English history buff, don't let the connotations of the title "King John" spoil the book. I will admit that's the first thing I think of when I see those two words together, like "Ugh, Lackland." This King John is a bit more competent and a lot more loyalty-inspiring.
March 20, 2014
This book is a meal, and a heavy one at that.
I sought out this book after gobbling up Terry Fallis' wonderful book, The Best Laid Plans, thirsting for more madcap political satire.
King John of Canada is many things, but madcap is not one of them.
The frightening thing about this book is its feasibility. It is not difficult to picture the vast majority of the events and political tensions in the book, even if the grand conceit is a bit hard to digest.
But if the book's strength is its believability, its weakness is one of style. Though it is a relatively slim book, it's a dense and weighty tome, and it's a bit of a slog to get through. I enjoyed the narrator's recounting of the various political happenings to which he was privvy, but I impatiently suffered through the seemingly long sections during which he narrated his present circumstances.
That said, this is a book you will feel proud for having read, and it leaves you with the unsettling feeling that an elected king might just be around the corner.
I sought out this book after gobbling up Terry Fallis' wonderful book, The Best Laid Plans, thirsting for more madcap political satire.
King John of Canada is many things, but madcap is not one of them.
The frightening thing about this book is its feasibility. It is not difficult to picture the vast majority of the events and political tensions in the book, even if the grand conceit is a bit hard to digest.
But if the book's strength is its believability, its weakness is one of style. Though it is a relatively slim book, it's a dense and weighty tome, and it's a bit of a slog to get through. I enjoyed the narrator's recounting of the various political happenings to which he was privvy, but I impatiently suffered through the seemingly long sections during which he narrated his present circumstances.
That said, this is a book you will feel proud for having read, and it leaves you with the unsettling feeling that an elected king might just be around the corner.
February 12, 2012
Often the best fiction causes readers to examine their beliefs in a new light and develop a broader perspective. The satiric novel King John of Canada aims its guns at several keenly held mores in Canadian life and politics, including the separation of Quebec and the British monarch as Canadian head of state, to name just a few ingrained Canadian ideas Scott Gardiner's narrator asks us to re-examine.
The narrator, Blue, writes from a remote cabin about his life with King John of Canada. Slowly Blue reveals how Canada came to appoint its own monarch and how this new head of state came to redefine Canada. I don't want to say much about how the plot unfolds, because the joy of reading the novel comes in the surprising ways King John solves some of Canada's problems. John is able to say things that politicians never won't say in Canada.
I would highly recommend King John of Canada to anyone who has even a mild interest in Canadian politics and current affairs.
The narrator, Blue, writes from a remote cabin about his life with King John of Canada. Slowly Blue reveals how Canada came to appoint its own monarch and how this new head of state came to redefine Canada. I don't want to say much about how the plot unfolds, because the joy of reading the novel comes in the surprising ways King John solves some of Canada's problems. John is able to say things that politicians never won't say in Canada.
I would highly recommend King John of Canada to anyone who has even a mild interest in Canadian politics and current affairs.
January 23, 2014
A flawless view of an alternate history world where Canada shocks the world by selecting a ruler by virtue of a lottery. The title reminds me of Toronto's most recent mayor Mr. Ford but King John shows himself (or at least as his right-hand Blue shows him) to be a more eloquent leader than his worship Mr. Ford. I enjoy pulling intriguing quotes from good books but, for the most part, Mr. Gardiner's quotables seemed to pop up everywhere in this book.
Is there a difference between contrived coincidence and serendipity in a plot? Contrived coincidence is nauseating but Gardiner's skill turns things that could be considered as cc into some quality serendipity. In the hands of lesser fabrics you have the likes of 'DaVinci code' and 'Celestine prophecy'. Here you have a delightful beast of a different (buffalo) pelt.
Five stars out of five doesn't seem like enough.
Is there a difference between contrived coincidence and serendipity in a plot? Contrived coincidence is nauseating but Gardiner's skill turns things that could be considered as cc into some quality serendipity. In the hands of lesser fabrics you have the likes of 'DaVinci code' and 'Celestine prophecy'. Here you have a delightful beast of a different (buffalo) pelt.
Five stars out of five doesn't seem like enough.
February 21, 2010
This was enjoyable and presented some interesting possibilities, but, from a western perspective, there were a few obvious missteps (farming in Canmore? Really? Also, Canada seemed to end at Alberta for Gardiner. I know BC is fairly quiet federally at the moment, but whenever Toronto or Calgary gets something it doesn't take long before Vancouver is agitating for the same). The book was at its best when it went into detail about specific incidents, but the framing story grew tiresome and the main story skipped over a lot of things that could have been shown.
September 10, 2007
An alternate future of Canada, in which we have a domestically-born monarch. I'm only about 50 pages in, and I don't know enough about Canadian politics to get all of the satire, but it's really good so far!
My early review holds - I don't know enough about politics to truly appreciate this book in all its gentle mocking, but I did enjoy it. (The "plot device" didn't hold up for me, but I was more interested in the book for being SO Canadian, so for that it gets 4 stars.)
My early review holds - I don't know enough about politics to truly appreciate this book in all its gentle mocking, but I did enjoy it. (The "plot device" didn't hold up for me, but I was more interested in the book for being SO Canadian, so for that it gets 4 stars.)
January 22, 2009
A hilariously funny book that pokes fun at and raises interesting ideas about Canadian politics and how Canada functions as a country/what it means to be Canadian. A great read if you're into Canadian politics.
March 12, 2016
Utterly fantastic, in both senses of the word. So, so, so Canadian, but in a way no one else seems to be embracing. Terry Fallis can call his Ottawa books political satire if he likes, but Gardiner has run a thousand circles around him. I can't believe I didn't hear about this book sooner.
December 22, 2008
Great satire with good insight into the foibles of Canada's politics. My only objection was that there was too much telling and not enough showing
June 4, 2011
I learned more about my country reading this book than I did reading the newspaper.
April 21, 2012
This light, funny book is a must-read for any political-constitutional-legal nerd. Takes the Canadian political narrative, points a finger and laughs heartily
May 26, 2016
Full review is on my blog: http://the-bookish-life.com/book-revi...
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews