Happy High Status: How to Build an Inner Confidence That Lasts

by Viv Groskop

Using the latest research, analysis and observations, executive coach and stand-up comedian Viv Groskop shows us how we can channel our authentic confidence effortlessly, to give ourselves strength and energy and move through life with ease

Happy High Status is that moment when everything feels right and life is easy. When you know you're nailing a presentation. When you've finished a run you didn't want to go on. For some people, it's the feeling of waking up on their birthday. And for most of us, it's just a fleeting sensation.

But in this inspirational guide, Viv Groskop explains that we can access it almost any time to give ourselves strength and energy. Through research, practical tips, and stories from the greatest performers and leaders who channel this everyday superpower effortlessly, readers will learn how to handle self-doubt and minimize insecurity, and to feel and project relaxed, authentic, at-ease confidence, even when they're underprepared.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help

304 pages, Hardcover

First published October 24, 2023

About the author

Viv Groskop is a writer, stand-up comedian and TV and radio presenter. She is the host of the chart-topping podcast HOW TO OWN THE ROOM, featuring women like Hillary Clinton, Margaret Atwood, Sandi Toksvig and Meera Syal talking about power, performance and public speaking. She has hosted book tours for Graham Norton and Jo Brand and is the veteran of four Edinburgh Fringe shows. She has presented BBC Radio 4's Front Row and Saturday Review and appears regularly on TV. She is also a playwright and has had four plays broadcast on BBC Radio 4. Subscribe to Viv's weekly newsletter here for book, TV and film recommendations and loads of great tips on writing creativity and mindset: https://howtoowntheroom.com

Reviews

[Becky · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it! Effortlessly demonstrates that confidence is not one thing, and that it looks different on each person, meaning that you get to define and embody what confidence is for you, rather than fitting into a preconceived notion of it.

[John Haagensen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Recently finished Happy High Status (in record time) and what a wonderful message Viv Groskop is sharing with us. The why is beautifully explained, without harnessing and enhancing our confidence we loose out on so much opportunity in front of us. I like the easy to understand steps one can take to self-improve. The examples are great and really entertaining too. I highly recommend and I have already begun my own journey towards reaching my happy high status. I hope you will too. We got this!

[Dragons+Aliens (Jay Luxembourg) · Rating 5 out of 5]

This compassionate, funny and motivating book is about how to have effortless confidence. The kind of confidence that comes not from anything particular that you say or do but from how you hold yourself, your ‘status’. At its heart is the idea that ‘we are all always giving off signals and “tells” to others that signify – consciously or unconsciously – how we expect them to treat us.’

In a series of chapters in which she approaches the idea of status from different perspectives –for example ‘be like final-scene Sandy and Danny’ – Viv Groskop gives a mixture of friendly encouragement, deep dive psychology and practical tips such as ‘leave a gap and a space for a thought to land with the other person.’

Groskop hosts an excellent podcast about public speaking called How To Own The Room, and this book does have a focus on speech giving and presentations. But I also found its ideas really useful in other areas of my life, and it would also definitely be useful to anyone looking for the confidence to expand their #bookstagram presence.

Groskops talks about the way in which many of the ideas that we have about what it means to be confident are formed at school, and that they’re in many ways about social games. She has a background as a stand up comedian, and she writes in interesting detail about the tricks that actors use to decide who has high status in a particular scene.

I really liked her lesson that confidence is not about what other people think of you, it’s seizing and creating your own status by teaching them how to treat you. There’s a lot of advice on how to do this. There’s also a welcome look at how to deal with situations in which people may wrongly assign a ‘lower’ status to you based on the fact that you’re not a white man.

[Sophie Drt-Pmllr · Rating 4 out of 5]

The main message of the book is: Ultimately, there's no one way to be "happy high status". I struggled at first to wrap my head around this term, which really just means "confident". I've come to see "happy high status" as a handy way of rethinking confidence as authentic performance, moving away from the static culturally/socially/historically loaded representations we conjure in our heads when we think of confident people.

One of my goals for this year is to get to the root of, and tackle, my occasional moments of low self esteem / confidence and I've found this book very helpful and timely in thinking it through.

It is a breezy, accessible read with different public figures to draw inspiration from. It doesn't give you answers and isn't a how to guide on how to become your most confident self but it does provide a good framework for getting there yourself (the version I read had a different sub title, "how to build an inner confidence that lasts", which feels truer to Viv Groskop's message than being "effortlessly confident").

I found the first few chapters most useful as they lay out key questions that you probably want to spend time answering if you want to get value out of the book: What am I losing out on by not having the confidence that I want? What have been moments of happy high status in your life? What did they feel like? What strengths can you rely on when you don't have confidence? Who do you look up to and why? Then goes through different versions of happy high status: vulnerable, entertaining, dominant, balanced, generous, etc., and tips to try them on, see what they feel like.

Overall, the book gave me lots to think about and reflect on. And reading it itself helped put things into perspective / reframe some self limiting beliefs.

[Bela Pitria Hakim Nugraha · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gue kasih 4 dari 5 bintang untuk Happy High Status, karena buku ini punya satu poin penting yang bener-bener standout: Tetap tenang di saat-saat paling vulnerable.

Bukan "happy" yang asal happy. Bukan toxic positivity. Tapi level dewa emotional intelligence yang diuji di titik paling rendah, saat harga diri lo diinjak, saat lo dihadapkan sama kritik pedas, atau saat lo ditarik ke drama yang gak lo undang. Dan di situlah, menurut gue, konsep "Happy High Status" hidup: lo bisa tetap elegan, kalem, gak reaktif... kalau masih masuk akal.

TAPI... opini pribadi gue: ada hal-hal yang gak bisa dihadapi cuma dengan bijak-bijakan. Kalau udah menyangkut serangan personal, ad hominem, rasisme, seksisme, menurut gue, kadang harus dihantem. Gak bisa semua disikapi dengan senyum tenang dan kepala dingin. Karena kalau semuanya dijawab pakai ketenangan, yang jahat bakal jalan terus.

Jadi, apakah gue suka? Yes. Karena buku ini unik, kasih perspektif baru tentang bagaimana menjalani hidup tanpa drama tapi tetap tegas. Gue rasa ini bukan self-help biasa. Ini lebih ke buku tentang martabat dan tahu kapan harus bersuara lantang.

Memorable, smart, and offers a strong opinion. Cocok buat lo yang pengen marah tapi pengen kelihatan elegan pas marah. WKWKWK

[Maria Ch · Rating 4 out of 5]

I discovered Viv Groskop’s podcast ‘How to own the room’ during lockdown and have since listened to every single episode. Some episodes more than once. She is a brilliant presenter, relatable yet someone to look up to, funny, insightful, witty. I’ve also read her book ‘How to own the room’ where she introduced the ‘Happy High Status’ concept in a very memorable and intriguing chapter. The book ‘Happy High Status’ is equally brilliant and one worth reading, gifting and talking about. It’s interesting, relevant, thought provoking and easy to read. Groskop is as engaging a writer as she is a podcast presenter, she has an ease about the way she talks and dives into a topic that lures you in, gets you invested and pleasantly entertained. A definite recommendation for anyone interested in confidence, perception of oneself, public speaking or just a good non fiction book.

[Aditi Mehta · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read a chapter a day and learned sooooo much from Viv’s writing on ‘confidence’
Confidence looks different on different people and that’s basically what each chapter is based on: different types of happy high status.
She not only refers to these concepts in such simple ways but also gives examples at the end of each one how we can go about working towards or identifying it in ourselves and people to research who have obtained that version of confidence we want to work towards.

HIGHLY RECOMMEND !!!

[Katerina · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good exploration of the concept of confidence, thoughtful enough to keep any pesky "well that's easy for you to say" thoughts at bay. The tone is gentle, friendly and wise.
The book covers different types, needs and examples of confidence, from fictional mafia bosses to young politicians and athletes, offering a great smorgasbord of role models who function in the public eye. It's less of a "how to" and more of a "maybe reconsider your inner beliefs" sort of guide, leaving one with a good amount of thinking to do once the book is finished.

[reader · Rating 3 out of 5]

interessante all’inizio poi più vai avanti più diventa un po’ ripetitivo , un bel libro comunque