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The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs
Offering a path for a new way to think about friendships, The Life Council will inspire and equip you to be a better friend, make new friends, and appreciate how different types of friendships can bring a richness to your life like never before. You'd love to have a "ride or die" posse like you see on social media, but instead you have a host of really good . . . acquaintances. After all, trying to find a soul friend in the midst of dirty dishes, deadlines, and, oh, a crazy busy life can be overwhelming. But what if developing great friendships was actually easier than we thought? And what if finding a "soul friend" wasn't necessarily our highest goal? In The Life Council , Laura Tremaine--the writer and podcaster behind 10 Things to Tell You-- tells us what we've been hoping was true all making, keeping, and even releasing friends doesn't need to be as hard as we make it. This fun and practical guide gives you what you need The Life Council will give every woman the help she needs to think about friendships in a new way and find true connection, freedom, and joy in her relationships.
208 pages, Paperback
Published April 4, 2023
239 people are currently reading
10566 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 579 reviews
April 11, 2023
Tremaine lays out her friendship philosophies, describes the ten roles on the Life Council, and ends with tips for making and keeping friends. I didn’t glean much from this book that I think will stay with me or change my life. Tremaine has created a list of “council members” that every woman should have among their friends. I’m not sure what research went into this besides her own experiences but not only does she describe ten roles, she has more than one friend to talk about for each of them. That’s a lot of friends! I think it’s more than most adults have, making me feel pretty inadequate.
I’m not a fan of gendered self-help either. Why is it ten friends every WOMAN needs? There’s no explanation as to why the information is supposedly gender-specific. Most, if not all, of the friends she talks about are also women. I think some research and information showing the importance of female friendship in particular would have been pertinent when writing a book for only one gender.
I did not know when I got this book that it is from a Christian publisher. This certainly would have scared me away from reading it had I known but I will say that I didn’t find any of the content Christian-specific. She mentions that she’s had some changes in faith over the years but doesn’t go into any specifics so there’s nothing here that should bother a non-Christian.
However, I can’t really recommend the book. I just don’t think there is much to it. It seems like an idea she came up with and decided to write a book about. There is a tiny list of six references. This is truly just one person’s ideas based on their life experience and some discussions with others on the internet. Someone may find something helpful here but would probably learn the same things, and more, from a more researched book, like Marisa G. Franco’s Platonic.
I have no doubt that Tremaine’s podcast and other media are engaging, well-meaning, and get people thinking and having good conversations. This book just has very little to offer.
I’m not a fan of gendered self-help either. Why is it ten friends every WOMAN needs? There’s no explanation as to why the information is supposedly gender-specific. Most, if not all, of the friends she talks about are also women. I think some research and information showing the importance of female friendship in particular would have been pertinent when writing a book for only one gender.
I did not know when I got this book that it is from a Christian publisher. This certainly would have scared me away from reading it had I known but I will say that I didn’t find any of the content Christian-specific. She mentions that she’s had some changes in faith over the years but doesn’t go into any specifics so there’s nothing here that should bother a non-Christian.
However, I can’t really recommend the book. I just don’t think there is much to it. It seems like an idea she came up with and decided to write a book about. There is a tiny list of six references. This is truly just one person’s ideas based on their life experience and some discussions with others on the internet. Someone may find something helpful here but would probably learn the same things, and more, from a more researched book, like Marisa G. Franco’s Platonic.
I have no doubt that Tremaine’s podcast and other media are engaging, well-meaning, and get people thinking and having good conversations. This book just has very little to offer.
April 4, 2023
Sadly, this reads more like a lady listing her friends and assigning them certain roles in her life, than anything even remotely helpful. The advice I’ll remember from this book is pretty much “like all their selfies”. I find this book unrelateable and narrow minded, and pretty much oozing privilege. I can’t put my finger on it, but this reads a lot like someone boasting about how many different and special friends they have. I’m not really sure what is the point of this book. This could have been a social media post on an account I have muted.
April 19, 2023
As a long time listener of Laura’s podcast, and someone who thoroughly enjoyed her first book, Share Your Stuff, I highly anticipated the release of The Life Council. And unfortunately, just found so many things unlikable about this one.
While there are some good points and helpful takeaways, the majority of this book comes off as highly privileged. It seems like the principles for building friendships that are given would be applicable to a very specific social class, which is to say they would not apply to most of the people reading this book. I would even say I have some privilege of my own, and even still, no one in my social circle would go away for multiple solo trips a year, or family trips to a lake house on the other side of the country, or drinks out with friends on a regular basis. This is both because of not wanting to be away from our families and our children’s activities that often, and because a majority of Americans just don’t have the finances to accommodate those activities. I can’t imagine how tone deaf this book would come across to a single mom working two jobs to make ends meet, for example.
Not only that, but Laura makes a point to say it’s so difficult to make friends, yet she has people in her life to fill ten very specific roles, and even multiple examples of some roles. I would venture to say that most adult women don’t have 10-15 close friends like that, and feel blessed to have 2-5 close friends. Maybe even 1-2 we can fully trust, for most of us. I just don’t find that relatable at all.
This book is written by a woman who lives in LA, whose husband is a Hollywood producer, and whose friend group includes a well known podcaster, an actress, and other people in the movie and film industry, for example. Obviously that’s a very different lifestyle than most of us, but never has that come across in Laura’s other works more starkly than it does in this book. Overall I just don’t feel like this is a helpful book to a “normal” woman.
While there are some good points and helpful takeaways, the majority of this book comes off as highly privileged. It seems like the principles for building friendships that are given would be applicable to a very specific social class, which is to say they would not apply to most of the people reading this book. I would even say I have some privilege of my own, and even still, no one in my social circle would go away for multiple solo trips a year, or family trips to a lake house on the other side of the country, or drinks out with friends on a regular basis. This is both because of not wanting to be away from our families and our children’s activities that often, and because a majority of Americans just don’t have the finances to accommodate those activities. I can’t imagine how tone deaf this book would come across to a single mom working two jobs to make ends meet, for example.
Not only that, but Laura makes a point to say it’s so difficult to make friends, yet she has people in her life to fill ten very specific roles, and even multiple examples of some roles. I would venture to say that most adult women don’t have 10-15 close friends like that, and feel blessed to have 2-5 close friends. Maybe even 1-2 we can fully trust, for most of us. I just don’t find that relatable at all.
This book is written by a woman who lives in LA, whose husband is a Hollywood producer, and whose friend group includes a well known podcaster, an actress, and other people in the movie and film industry, for example. Obviously that’s a very different lifestyle than most of us, but never has that come across in Laura’s other works more starkly than it does in this book. Overall I just don’t feel like this is a helpful book to a “normal” woman.
April 29, 2023
I had high hopes for this book because I'm a huge fan of Kendra Adachi, but I don't think I'm in the right tax bracket to appreciate this book. I don't have a lake house, money to go on retreats, or enough availability to go on "girls weekends" to nuture the friendships that Tremaine describes. I liked the idea of the Life Council, but I couldn't find myself in these pages.
PS: If you're interested in a more authentic book about friendships, try "I'll Be There (But I'll Be Wearing Sweatpants)" instead.
PS: If you're interested in a more authentic book about friendships, try "I'll Be There (But I'll Be Wearing Sweatpants)" instead.
April 8, 2023
I got an ARC. I wasn’t sure if this would be my type of book but I ended up really enjoying it and read it in an afternoon.
I immediately text a couple of my friends to tell them I need them to read it so we can talk about it!
It’s so easy to shove all our friends in one box and compare them apples to apples. I first started realizing friends filled different roles a couple years ago and it really helped me.
It was fun to see how someone else classified their friends and the ways it worked out long term. My sister and I have already gone over our friend list assigning each person a place.
Another thing that was helpful and encouraging was listening to the author talk about some friendships that end and that it happens for a variety of reasons. I tend to feel a lot of guilt if a friendship works out, even if I don’t know what I’ve done. Being reminded sometimes there are seasons to relationships was good for my soul. I think we often hide that part of our stories.
I immediately text a couple of my friends to tell them I need them to read it so we can talk about it!
It’s so easy to shove all our friends in one box and compare them apples to apples. I first started realizing friends filled different roles a couple years ago and it really helped me.
It was fun to see how someone else classified their friends and the ways it worked out long term. My sister and I have already gone over our friend list assigning each person a place.
Another thing that was helpful and encouraging was listening to the author talk about some friendships that end and that it happens for a variety of reasons. I tend to feel a lot of guilt if a friendship works out, even if I don’t know what I’ve done. Being reminded sometimes there are seasons to relationships was good for my soul. I think we often hide that part of our stories.
April 17, 2023
I could not love this book more. Laura Tremaine gives vision and language to the mystery of adult friendships. I love the framework she lays out for a life council that validates different kinds of relationships, with different people, at different times in your life. It’s so easy to put too much pressure on one or two relationships to be everything to you (not realistic) or to feel lonely in certain seasons of your life. This book empowered me to think about all of the wonderful friendships in my life, past and present, and to have vision for the future. Friendships are such a gift and I walked away feeling encouraged to care well for the people in my life!
April 10, 2023
This book shared simple yet thought provoking friendships concepts that truly resonated for me. I shared these ideas and types of friends already with so many people in my life. There are also some tangible takeaways. It helped me to reframe the various meaningful people in my life with different levels of purpose and intention. She also reemphasized how some friends come into your life for reason, a season or a lucky few for a lifetime and they are all valuable for helping you as a person grow. Highly recommend!
March 24, 2023
I've loved the way Laura talks about friendship for a long time, so I was happy to get an ARC of her newest book. While I didn't find any earth-shattering information here, the way she gives different types of friends a name did cause me to think through my own relationships. I especially appreciated Laura's five core friendship philosophies and even found myself lecturing my 9-year-old this morning that he needs to "believe the best" about people he's in relationship with. Thought-provoking, vulnerable, and well-written, I highly recommend The Life Council to any woman looking to improve her friendships.
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August 15, 2023While this book didn't necessarily "blow me away" with its new ideas or its originality, it was an interesting framework or lens by which to reflect and remember the friendships that have shaped me and rejoice (and also evaluate) in the relationships and friendships I am currently investing in the here-and-now. The idea is to approach your friendships as an organization might build a board of directors to guide and advise. And while the 2 ideas may sound completely incongruous, it did give me much to ponder. And while I may not require people to fill the *exact* seats in my Life Council, as the author outlines, it did provide ample opportunity for me to reflect on, celebrate, and fee profound gratitude for the women currently in those seats speaking into my life, shaping my reality. These are friendships I want to grow old with. But, it also gave me a chance to pray for those future friendships too -- the seats that are currently empty, but may not always be.
June 4, 2023
This book frustrated me because it is mostly the author breezily recounting how she met her endless number of friends, each one apparently amazing. Our life circumstances and personalities are completely different so I couldn’t relate to much at all and mostly was left feeling more lonely and isolated and awkward than ever. Also, though this comes from a Christian publisher, the only “Christian” content was a few brief references to friends she met at church, and an odd recounting of a girlish argument about the existence of hell (spoiler alert, the author doesn’t believe in it).
I did appreciate the point that no one friend can or should fill ALL the types of friendship - that’s an unfair expectation. Otherwise, this book wasn’t a good fit for me and I only finished it because I’m stubborn like that. 😂
I did appreciate the point that no one friend can or should fill ALL the types of friendship - that’s an unfair expectation. Otherwise, this book wasn’t a good fit for me and I only finished it because I’m stubborn like that. 😂
April 27, 2023
This was a very quick listen on audiobook. The author narrates herself.
Friendships take work. Make them a priority and being present for friends is absolutely invaluable.
I was happy to hear that I didn't need 10 friends to enjoy this book. LOL. It really reflects on the different kind of friends we encounter throughout our life and gives us a better way to handle expectations within those friendships.
The NEW FRIEND concept is one of my favorites and a reminder to take the leap and reach out. Keep an empty chair for the new friendship that's waiting for you.
I enjoyed this just as much as her last book and can't wait to see what she writes about next.
Friendships take work. Make them a priority and being present for friends is absolutely invaluable.
I was happy to hear that I didn't need 10 friends to enjoy this book. LOL. It really reflects on the different kind of friends we encounter throughout our life and gives us a better way to handle expectations within those friendships.
The NEW FRIEND concept is one of my favorites and a reminder to take the leap and reach out. Keep an empty chair for the new friendship that's waiting for you.
I enjoyed this just as much as her last book and can't wait to see what she writes about next.
March 13, 2023
I read the ARC, but I cannot wait to get my physical copy in hand so I can reread with book darts. I’m reading this in community and holding off on my official review, but I will say that I absolutely loved this. I planned to read it slowly, one chapter at a time, but I couldn’t put it down. Adult friendships are trickier than I expected, and I really value Laura Tremaine’s perspective.
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April 5, 2023Two important life philosophies I’ve held that are underscored by this book: appreciate each friend for who they are and what they bring to the table, rather than demanding perfection or an unreal standard of being all things; and always assume the best intentions first of those we love. I loved how Laura laid out specific archetypes that our friendships can fall within, to better understand how we serve each other and to better value each other for our unique strengths. The personal stories and examples added such a fun level of color while making me think about how I would categorize my own friendships under these roles. The audio was particularly excellent as she reads it herself!
May 29, 2023
Two stars for me, but don’t let this deter you. It might be more stars for you! I like Laura Tremaine!
I felt like the ten chapters where she expounds on her life council members were self-indulgent and not useful to me. There wasn’t much new here for me, but friendship is an important topic that she covers thoroughly. Could be helpful for someone who struggles generally to make friends and maintain friendships.
I felt like the ten chapters where she expounds on her life council members were self-indulgent and not useful to me. There wasn’t much new here for me, but friendship is an important topic that she covers thoroughly. Could be helpful for someone who struggles generally to make friends and maintain friendships.
January 28, 2025
I think my review should be taken with a grain of salt because I never would have chosen this book on my own. It was a book club pick. While I have often enjoyed books I didn’t think I would at first, this book didn’t win me over.
I liked the premise: that we are taught how to be friends early on, but not really given updated instructions as we age. I think this is a really valid point. I also appreciated her 5 principles of friendship even if I didn’t agree with all of them wholeheartedly.
But the idea of the life council: this formal idea where you categorize the people in your life just didn’t sit well with me. I also was not at all invested in her personal stories. I have a real problem when someone’s “expertise” is from being a content creator online. I totally think you can share personal stories and people can learn from them but I thought this author desperately needed to bring in some outside stories or even factual information. Call me jaded from being married to someone who prioritizes peer-reviewed sources, but I just didn’t feel compelled to see why the author’s advice was merited or superior. I also felt like she contradicted herself by saying that friendships could be loose, and organic, but then also giving the reader a long list of things to do to find friends.
I also got really tired of what I saw as name-dropping and flaunting of her privilege. I felt like to replicate her friendships I would need a second home, an LA lifestyle and a lot more money.
So why the two stars instead of one? Again, I liked the 5 principles, and I liked reflecting on the women in my life who have been really great friends. I do like having a new way to think of their contributions to my life.
I liked the premise: that we are taught how to be friends early on, but not really given updated instructions as we age. I think this is a really valid point. I also appreciated her 5 principles of friendship even if I didn’t agree with all of them wholeheartedly.
But the idea of the life council: this formal idea where you categorize the people in your life just didn’t sit well with me. I also was not at all invested in her personal stories. I have a real problem when someone’s “expertise” is from being a content creator online. I totally think you can share personal stories and people can learn from them but I thought this author desperately needed to bring in some outside stories or even factual information. Call me jaded from being married to someone who prioritizes peer-reviewed sources, but I just didn’t feel compelled to see why the author’s advice was merited or superior. I also felt like she contradicted herself by saying that friendships could be loose, and organic, but then also giving the reader a long list of things to do to find friends.
I also got really tired of what I saw as name-dropping and flaunting of her privilege. I felt like to replicate her friendships I would need a second home, an LA lifestyle and a lot more money.
So why the two stars instead of one? Again, I liked the 5 principles, and I liked reflecting on the women in my life who have been really great friends. I do like having a new way to think of their contributions to my life.
April 17, 2023
When Laura talks about a weekend retreat with friends where Chris Ann introduced the idea of a life council…I’m part of that group of friends so I’m 100% biased about this book. But I legitimately loved it! Just as the life council framework was revelatory for me back then, I have no doubt it will be revelatory for readers now. I have loved watching Laura share about friendship and host conversations about finding and keeping those connections over the years. It made perfect sense that this would be the next topic she’d write about. It was helpful to read about Laura’s categories and ideas for furthering and deepening our friendship.
The emphasis is on friendship over the course of a lifetime so this made me think a lot about friends from the past who filled various life council seats for me, as well as what roles I fill for my current friends. There’s so much good food for thought. I appreciated Laura’s honesty about where she’s messed up just as much as I enjoyed seeing what each category brought to her life. While I have a lot friends across the country, local friendship has been harder to come by in recent years and this gave me good food for thought as I try to broaden my community here.
Disclosure: I received a free copy from the author, who is my dear friend. I’m not mentioned by name in the book but the story of our friendship is in there.
The emphasis is on friendship over the course of a lifetime so this made me think a lot about friends from the past who filled various life council seats for me, as well as what roles I fill for my current friends. There’s so much good food for thought. I appreciated Laura’s honesty about where she’s messed up just as much as I enjoyed seeing what each category brought to her life. While I have a lot friends across the country, local friendship has been harder to come by in recent years and this gave me good food for thought as I try to broaden my community here.
Disclosure: I received a free copy from the author, who is my dear friend. I’m not mentioned by name in the book but the story of our friendship is in there.
April 15, 2025
We get it, you’re popular
May 27, 2023
3.5 rounded up. Very sweet and made me feel very, very grateful for my fabulous friends!
July 2, 2023
I love the fact that Laura celebrates the friend roles and places importance on building those relationships. She had some practical tips but I would have loved more.
A lot of the reviews I read kept bringing up her privilege and the fact that they themselves can't afford to go on weekend trips and own a lake house so therefore they can't have as many friends. Also that this was just Laura listing off all her friends in a brag. I think they're totally missing the point. It's not about trips you take, it's about the gift of seeing people in your life and how they bless you. Laura has that gift of seeing past the obvious to something beautiful. I think a lot of people have multiple friends right in front of them if they would follow a few of her practical tips and look past the surface.
I did give this 3 stars just because I think this should have been an article or podcast and not a book. There was a lot of unnecessary fluff to work through.
The idea of a life council is beautiful and I think in the end, Laura was trying to encourage us to look for the extraordinary in our ordinary lives.
A lot of the reviews I read kept bringing up her privilege and the fact that they themselves can't afford to go on weekend trips and own a lake house so therefore they can't have as many friends. Also that this was just Laura listing off all her friends in a brag. I think they're totally missing the point. It's not about trips you take, it's about the gift of seeing people in your life and how they bless you. Laura has that gift of seeing past the obvious to something beautiful. I think a lot of people have multiple friends right in front of them if they would follow a few of her practical tips and look past the surface.
I did give this 3 stars just because I think this should have been an article or podcast and not a book. There was a lot of unnecessary fluff to work through.
The idea of a life council is beautiful and I think in the end, Laura was trying to encourage us to look for the extraordinary in our ordinary lives.
July 19, 2023
I really liked this! I found her take on friendship refreshing and grace-filled. Making friends as an adult is hard, but I really like her approach here and I had a lot of takeaways.
Basically the idea is that we each need a friendship “board of directors”- friends that fill different roles for us. Which also means that we don’t have to place as high of expectations on each friend to fill every role :), but we can just appreciate each friend for what they bring to the table. It was also fun to read about her friendship philosophies and to get me thinking on what mine are too.
I know most of the people who read my Goodreads reviews are young adults, so you maybe aren’t in a phase where making friends is hard :), but when it gets harder, I recommend this book. Easy read, great writing, I didn’t agree with everything 100%, but I liked it and definitely appreciated her gentle tone on this topic!
Basically the idea is that we each need a friendship “board of directors”- friends that fill different roles for us. Which also means that we don’t have to place as high of expectations on each friend to fill every role :), but we can just appreciate each friend for what they bring to the table. It was also fun to read about her friendship philosophies and to get me thinking on what mine are too.
I know most of the people who read my Goodreads reviews are young adults, so you maybe aren’t in a phase where making friends is hard :), but when it gets harder, I recommend this book. Easy read, great writing, I didn’t agree with everything 100%, but I liked it and definitely appreciated her gentle tone on this topic!
April 15, 2023
This could only ever get five stars. More if it were an option. This book is not about research, it's about feels and intuition and evaluating your life and your friendships well. I loved it. It makes me grateful and gave me hope.
January 13, 2024
The Life Council by Laura Tremaine came out last spring, and it really piqued my interest. (Especially once it started receiving lots of love from some of my very trusted bookstagrammers.) So when I found a copy at a thrift store recently, and then noticed that the audiobook was available on Libby, I started it right away. As soon as I started listening, I was smiling and nodding along to SO much of what Tremaine was saying. We’re around the same age, so I could relate to a lot of her experiences.
Female friendship has always been important to me, but also super tricky. It’s complicated as heck, and requires a lot of work. (Much like marriage, actually.) As an introverted, anxious, and moody homebody, maintaining solid friendships has always been difficult for me. In the past, I’ve never been the one to reach out, get the gang together, reply to texts or voicemails in a timely manner, and canceled plans at the last minute. Have I ruined friendships because of this behavior? Yes, of course. This is something that I’ve been working on, and my gosh, it’s a process! Reading about the complexities of female friendship has been very helpful for me, so that’s why The Life Council appealed so much to me.
Tremaine has a strong online presence, and speaks a lot about the friendships she formed through blogging and social media. This really resonated with me as a bookstagrammer. I’ve been a member of this wonderful community for almost six years now, and can honestly say that the relationships I’ve made on this platform are truly priceless. So, I love that she included internet friends!
I saw myself and SO many of my (past and present) friends in Tremaine’s list of ten friends every woman needs. A lot of my friends fit into multiple slots, so I appreciated the fact that I didn’t need ten individual people to fill every spot! Ha! If you’re curious about the complexities of female friendship, have struggled with it in the past, need a few tips on how to be a better friend, and/or make more of them, definitely check this one out. 4/5 stars for The Life Council!
Female friendship has always been important to me, but also super tricky. It’s complicated as heck, and requires a lot of work. (Much like marriage, actually.) As an introverted, anxious, and moody homebody, maintaining solid friendships has always been difficult for me. In the past, I’ve never been the one to reach out, get the gang together, reply to texts or voicemails in a timely manner, and canceled plans at the last minute. Have I ruined friendships because of this behavior? Yes, of course. This is something that I’ve been working on, and my gosh, it’s a process! Reading about the complexities of female friendship has been very helpful for me, so that’s why The Life Council appealed so much to me.
Tremaine has a strong online presence, and speaks a lot about the friendships she formed through blogging and social media. This really resonated with me as a bookstagrammer. I’ve been a member of this wonderful community for almost six years now, and can honestly say that the relationships I’ve made on this platform are truly priceless. So, I love that she included internet friends!
I saw myself and SO many of my (past and present) friends in Tremaine’s list of ten friends every woman needs. A lot of my friends fit into multiple slots, so I appreciated the fact that I didn’t need ten individual people to fill every spot! Ha! If you’re curious about the complexities of female friendship, have struggled with it in the past, need a few tips on how to be a better friend, and/or make more of them, definitely check this one out. 4/5 stars for The Life Council!
April 17, 2023
The Life Council was everything I was hoping it would be. Laura Tremaine has such a great perspective on friendship. Instead of a few people being THE FRIEND, she breaks down the types of friends she’s had or wants to have in her life. It’s such a great way to look at it. I enjoyed spending time reflecting on the different roles my friends play in my life and what is it I need.
Also, if 10 friends feels intimidating to you, know that she isn’t telling you to have all of them at once or even these specific types of friends. Rather, she is explaining what belies she has around friendship and how it plays out. She encourages the reader to examine their own values and determine what they need and why they have the friends they do.
If you want a refreshing look at friendships by someone who values them, this is the book for you. I listened on audiobook as it feels more personal to hear Laura read it to me. I also bought the book so I could underline and annotate. Both ways are great.
Also, if 10 friends feels intimidating to you, know that she isn’t telling you to have all of them at once or even these specific types of friends. Rather, she is explaining what belies she has around friendship and how it plays out. She encourages the reader to examine their own values and determine what they need and why they have the friends they do.
If you want a refreshing look at friendships by someone who values them, this is the book for you. I listened on audiobook as it feels more personal to hear Laura read it to me. I also bought the book so I could underline and annotate. Both ways are great.
April 24, 2023
3.5 stars. I want to preface this review by saying that I love this author and her previous book, Share Your Stuff- I’ll Go First, was life changing for me in several important ways (and was one of my top ten books of the year I read it.) Based on my experience with that book, I expected that this one would also help me deepen my existing friendships and take them to a new level of closeness. This, however, is not what this book was. I liked how she spoke about different types of friends and what their strengths are, but I already kind of know my own friends and the different roles they take in my life. Also, the sheer number of friends Laura talks about in this book seemed almost daunting and overwhelming, and I’m a person with, what I consider, a lot of good friends. I do love that she talked about friendships, which is something people simply don’t think or discuss often enough, and the message of being intentional with your friendships is something I will carry forward. However, this book didn’t resonate or have as many take always for me personally as Share Your Stuff. Thank you to Libro.fm for the ALC!
August 21, 2025
I put off reading this because I thought it would highlight what I want but don’t have. But it did the opposite (which was the goal!) and showed me the abundance right in front of me. Thankful to think about friendship from this perspective. I’ll be thinking about it for a while, especially during seasons of transition.
April 4, 2023
I love how Laura helps me categorize my friendships, it helped quiet some of the shame I feel about my relationship “levels” with people around me. But on the flip side it also helped me be ok with being in categories like these for other people. I tend to believe every friendship I have had that has changed is a failure on my part. I read this as soon as it arrived in my mailbox and will come back to it I am sure.
June 12, 2024
…. This book was SO bad….
I skimmed the last half.
I disagreed with literally everything in this book.
I don’t think you have to “like” every single one of your friends’ selfies to be a good friend.
I don’t think you have to apologize for not texting back right away to be a good friend.
I don’t think you have to put to check in with friends on a to-do list like they are some sort of item to check off to be a good friend.
I have a handful of great friends and I don’t think at any point one of them obsesses over when I don’t “like” a selfie on social media.
There were so many things about this audiobook that I disliked.
I don’t think I’ve ever listened to an audiobook that I disagreed with more.
I skimmed the last half.
I disagreed with literally everything in this book.
I don’t think you have to “like” every single one of your friends’ selfies to be a good friend.
I don’t think you have to apologize for not texting back right away to be a good friend.
I don’t think you have to put to check in with friends on a to-do list like they are some sort of item to check off to be a good friend.
I have a handful of great friends and I don’t think at any point one of them obsesses over when I don’t “like” a selfie on social media.
There were so many things about this audiobook that I disliked.
I don’t think I’ve ever listened to an audiobook that I disagreed with more.
April 9, 2024
Reading this book gave me a different perspective in navigating friendships in a time in my life that I find it difficult balancing friendships and life as well as growing out of long time friendships and developing new ones.
Saying that, I did find that some perspectives in this book felt one sided at times and a bit harsh. I personal don’t agree with “You have to” statements in Wellness/self help books. I find them forceful and not allowing any other option or thoughts but that’s my personal opinion.
Over all a great book for anyone trying to navigate friendships, work, family, etc. Also understanding the importance of each of your friendships and what makes them special to your heart and which ones may not be serving you in the ways they once did.
Saying that, I did find that some perspectives in this book felt one sided at times and a bit harsh. I personal don’t agree with “You have to” statements in Wellness/self help books. I find them forceful and not allowing any other option or thoughts but that’s my personal opinion.
Over all a great book for anyone trying to navigate friendships, work, family, etc. Also understanding the importance of each of your friendships and what makes them special to your heart and which ones may not be serving you in the ways they once did.
April 22, 2023
brb, gotta deep dive journal about this one.
oh MAN. the biggest thing i loved about this book is the open hands to a) talk about the complexities of adult friendships & b) to not offer anything prescriptive. it’s Laura Tremaine noticing what is happening in her friendships, sharing about it, offering some helpful (or maybe for you they won’t be helpful! and that would be fine!) categories, & giving you lots of permission. my brain is BUZZING with things i’d like to reflect on from this book. ANYWAYS, GREAT.
oh MAN. the biggest thing i loved about this book is the open hands to a) talk about the complexities of adult friendships & b) to not offer anything prescriptive. it’s Laura Tremaine noticing what is happening in her friendships, sharing about it, offering some helpful (or maybe for you they won’t be helpful! and that would be fine!) categories, & giving you lots of permission. my brain is BUZZING with things i’d like to reflect on from this book. ANYWAYS, GREAT.
April 25, 2023
Wow did I need this book! I’ve always had a difficult time with trusting others. When you have enough bad experiences with friends and other relationships, you learn the distance yourself, so others can’t hurt you. I’ve done this for some time now.
This book has given me some much needed motivation to put myself and try to be brave with building friendships. That there are certain types of friendships and that’s okay. All friends don’t need to fill every single spot in your life. Some are there for certain reasons, as I am to them.
I can’t wait to check Laura’s podcast as well! This was the first time I had listened to any of her work and I thoroughly enjoyed it! Highly recommend for others who find themselves isolating themselves and need a little push.
This book has given me some much needed motivation to put myself and try to be brave with building friendships. That there are certain types of friendships and that’s okay. All friends don’t need to fill every single spot in your life. Some are there for certain reasons, as I am to them.
I can’t wait to check Laura’s podcast as well! This was the first time I had listened to any of her work and I thoroughly enjoyed it! Highly recommend for others who find themselves isolating themselves and need a little push.
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