Down and Back: On Alcohol, Family, and a Life in Hockey

by Justin Bourne

For readers of Nine Lessons I Learned from My Father and Hockey Confidential , Down and Back tells broadcaster Justin Bourne’s story of following his Hall-of-Fame father not only to the NHL, but also into rehab.

Bob Bourne was everything a son wants to emulate—an NHL All-Star, a Sports Illustrated “Sportsman of the Year,” a Stanley Cup champion. Justin Bourne followed in those huge footsteps, leading his teams in scoring year after year, and finally garnering an invitation to the New York Islanders’ training camp—the same team his father had played for. But Bourne was also following his father down a darker path.

Though he hadn’t begun drinking until he was 21, by 36 his drinking had nearly swamped his career and his marriage. In an act of brutal self-honesty—which may not have been possible if not for his understanding of how lying spurred by alcoholism can cause a family pain—Bourne got help, got sober, and confronted what his father and the game mean to him.

Down and Back is a frank and unflinching appraisal of the game and Bourne’s relationship with the violence and danger, the booze and drugs, the consequences of fame. But it is also an honest look at what is redeeming about the sport, through the eyes of someone who grew up in NHL dressing rooms, who has skated on NHL ice as both a player and a coach, and who inherited the game from a man he’s grown to better understand by looking more closely at himself.

Genres: Sports, Biography, Nonfiction, Hockey, Audiobook, Canada, Biography Memoir

304 pages, Hardcover

Published February 14, 2023

Reviews

[Dave B · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great introspective look at a professional hockey players struggles with alcohol and it’s effects on his personal and professional life.

[Sara Raftery · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well written, funny, and honest. Bourne's distinctive voice is a pleasure. I appreciate his honesty and humility. He's not ignorant of his many privileges and tells his story in way that acknowledges them. His visceral description of what alcohol does to the body and how long-term abuse alters the mind was particularly valuable to me. I also appreciated his discussion of how a non-NHL hockey career works, how one makes decisions about leagues and teams, and what those decisions can mean/how they are perceived.

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved Justin Bourne's "System Analyst" posts - I learned a ton about hockey and they were so witty. I also knew the bare bones outline of his story: Dad was a NHL legend, he played hockey but got hurt, and then(the romance reader in me loves this) he marries Clark Gillies' daughter. But behind the scenes, Bourne was drinking himself to death. This memoir is the story of his time in hockey, his love affair with alcohol, and how he has become sober. It's written with a light touch, which is in character, but sometimes it feels like Bourne couldn't decide whether to adopt a lighter, almost self-effacing tone or to go darker with some of what he wrestled with. I really enjoyed hearing about his different path to high-level hockey: he wasn't the kid of a pro who had it all laid out for him. I would've liked to hear more about the underlying reasons alcohol was such a pull; he hints at some anxiety, but it seems like his descent into extremely heavy drinking came really fast. Also, huge kudos and respect to Justin and especially his family for the hard work to get and stay healthy. I hope we get to read/hear a lot more about Justin's knowledge of hockey in the years to come.

[Cow · Rating 4 out of 5]

Showed up because a nasty, months-long-in-bed illness got me listening to/watching Real Kyper and Bourne regularly; stayed because, as part of that same time in bed, I had a lot of processing to do about my father's relationship (as well as some other folks in my life's relationship) to alcohol, and well, my own and my health, and how we all affect each other.

Justin Bourne's an excellent writer. The same wit and clarity he uses on the show comes through quite clearly in the book. And the last quarter of it, about his struggles with family and alcohol, about getting sober, about trying to rebuild, and especially the final chapter musing about his relationship with his father and how that's nowhere near resolved...yeah, it all hits hard.

[Steve Tripp · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a startling and frank account of the journey of a good, but not great hockey player; the day to day grind; the provided and the lost opportunities; the narrow distance between success and failure; and the health issues that premiere athletes have to overcome to succeed. But above all it's a reckoning of the life of an alcoholic and how Justin overcame that gripping disease. Not only is he an insightful hockey voice who commands an audience on that topic but he's clearly a reflective and articulate voce for anyone who struggles with hat disease. I really enjoyed the audiobook .. it was refreshing, interesting and at times rather funny. Great choice for reading or listening.

[B K · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5

What you resist will equally persist.

This is not just a book about the NHL. It is a deeply personal story of a professional hockey player, video analyst and sports-writer - but more importantly a son, a father and a fellow human being - and his struggles with alcohol use related disorder.

The journey begins with very descriptive chapters, is followed by a realisation of profound issues and a mea culpa. As he relies on his family's precedents, Justin explains what he has overcome and shares the tools he developped to be the person he was before his illness, if not better.

[Brent Richardson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received this book along with a few others as a gift. I read it last of the group, honestly after finishing it, I wish I had read it first.
Gripping and heartfelt thoughts by Justin. Any of the so called brain fog you may have endured earlier or while dealing with the addiction has clearly left the building. Your ability to put thoughts and feelings into words is excellent. Very well done Justin! I enjoyed it and learned more than a few things along the way.

[Sharon · Rating 4 out of 5]

A gut wrenching account of Justin Bourne’s struggles with alcoholism and how he nearly lost his professional career, his family and his life. With the constant support of his wife Brianna and family, Justin finally sought help in 2019. A heart breaking story, but thankfully a happier outcome.

[Jacob Marcoux · Rating 3 out of 5]

Listen to JB on Real Kyper and Bourne almost daily, found his book and loved hearing about his story with alcohol and hockey and the effects it had on his life and others. Good listen, maybe lacking in some areas, I'm no expert on books but it was good.

[Ian McLaren · Rating 5 out of 5]

Phenomenal. Could not put it down. Justin masterfully weaves his story of hockey, family, and addiction. Every hockey fan should read this.

[Carole Hawes · Rating 3 out of 5]

I love reading autobiographies. This was very interesting about a hockey player and alcoholism.
Good read.

[Howie · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's a fantastic read about a topic that has touched each and every one of us in some way or another. A+

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I didn;t enjoy this book very much. The writing was ok but there was too much hockey detail in it to hold my attention.

[Phil Spencer · Rating 4 out of 5]

A cautionary tale no doubt.

[Ontario Reader · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting look at his life in hockey and struggles with alcohol. One of the better hockey memoirs.

[Nick Meyers · Rating 5 out of 5]

JB is my favorite voice in hockey media. I was really excited to get my hands on this. His voice and perspective translates wonderfully in his book to tell his unique story. Big fan all around.

[James · Rating 4 out of 5]

An insightful look at the game from a few different angles (kid of an NHLer, late-bloomer, NCAA, semi-pro, pro, video coach, writer)

His tales are as interesting as they are funny, and the introspection and learning regarding the darker parts of his story are pulled off with ease.

Also, as a leafs fan, his podcast (Kyper and Bourne) and articles are excellent. For a sport that’s remarkably hard to break down, Justin does as good a job as anyone I’ve read.

Awesome book!!