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The Mindful Grandparent: The Art of Loving Our Children's Children
Loving our children's children well is an art--one we keep learning as they grow.
Making memories and fostering relationships with our grandchildren in the midst of a fast-moving culture isn't easy, and a legacy that lasts isn't crafted overnight. So how do we as grandparents cultivate strong, meaningful relationships with the children we adore?
Start with The Mindful Grandparent. With twelve grandchildren between them, authors and educators Marilyn McEntyre and Shirley Showalter know deep in their bones that attending to the small ones in our lives has never been more important. Grandparents can help little ones learn to value relationships over things, lap time over screen time. They can help grandchildren live with intention, attentive to others, to nature, and to the diverse, beautiful, and troubled social world around them.
The Mindful Grandparent doesn't shy away from the challenging issues in contemporary grandparenting. Through inspired ideas teamed with simple practices and engaging stories, The Mindful Grandparent covers wide-ranging topics such as cultivating curiosity, giving meaningful gifts, helping children explore difficult topics, building a grandparent team, honoring adult children's boundaries, and managing technology.
Let The Mindful Grandparent be your guide and source of refuge for the sacred and sometimes bewildering work of grandparenting.
Making memories and fostering relationships with our grandchildren in the midst of a fast-moving culture isn't easy, and a legacy that lasts isn't crafted overnight. So how do we as grandparents cultivate strong, meaningful relationships with the children we adore?
Start with The Mindful Grandparent. With twelve grandchildren between them, authors and educators Marilyn McEntyre and Shirley Showalter know deep in their bones that attending to the small ones in our lives has never been more important. Grandparents can help little ones learn to value relationships over things, lap time over screen time. They can help grandchildren live with intention, attentive to others, to nature, and to the diverse, beautiful, and troubled social world around them.
The Mindful Grandparent doesn't shy away from the challenging issues in contemporary grandparenting. Through inspired ideas teamed with simple practices and engaging stories, The Mindful Grandparent covers wide-ranging topics such as cultivating curiosity, giving meaningful gifts, helping children explore difficult topics, building a grandparent team, honoring adult children's boundaries, and managing technology.
Let The Mindful Grandparent be your guide and source of refuge for the sacred and sometimes bewildering work of grandparenting.
273 pages, Kindle Edition
Published May 3, 2022
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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
April 20, 2022
The Mindful Grandparent is about listening to our children and grandchildren, as well as to our own hearts and life needs, as we take up our position as elders in our families. This book offers options for serving with conscious wisdom, while also respecting who we, and they (our children and grandchildren) authentically are.
Pay attention to the title. Notice the words: MINDFUL. ART. LOVING. OUR CHILDREN’S CHILDREN. These words signal no need to fear this is another emotionally or physically exhausting self-help book— one nagging you to strive for self-improvement, implying that you’re doing things wrong and there’s a better way.
Instead, this is a book full of compassionate wisdom, creativity, and connection. It’s the kind of book I call a “storied-how-to.” Here is an open-hearted invitation to know our gifts and limitations while choosing how we want to be elders in our families. This is encouragement to be ourselves, respectful of needs—our own as well as our children’s and grandchildren’s.
The Mindful Grandparent is NOT a guilt-trippy self-help book. It delivers on its promise to be “a guide and source of refuge for the sacred and sometimes bewildering work of grandparenting.”
That wisdom-way of presenting information and inspiration makes this book worthy of 4 stars. The 5th star is for 3 areas of excellence.
1) The authors collaborate skillfully to show, again and again, that there is no single “right” way to grandparent. The opening section “The Widening Circle” reinforces this non-supremacist way of being in the world by reminding grandparents that no one of us is the sole or most important influence in our precious grandchildren's lives. Rather, we are important members of their circle of elders.
2) The writing is superb—vivid, engaging, imaginative. I’m exceptionally tough to please in this aspect. Because I dearly love skilled, artistic literary writing, and because I'm committed to spending my free time doing what nurtures me and gives me joy, I don't finish a book if the writing bores or distracts me.
3) It's not merely well-written information, it's a good book>. The book’s organization is both logical and poetic. There’s a hidden 5-act structure, like any good Shakespearean tragicomedy, along with thoughtful acknowledgement of the joys, as well as the unavoidable sorrows, of familial life. Kudos to them for being offering real inspiration, with not a trace of toxic optimism.
I recommend this book for grandparents at any stage of the important, whole-life-affirming journey of becoming elders, of giving to grandchildren "the gift of time made sacred by other gifts--presence, attention, marking, and honoring."
Pay attention to the title. Notice the words: MINDFUL. ART. LOVING. OUR CHILDREN’S CHILDREN. These words signal no need to fear this is another emotionally or physically exhausting self-help book— one nagging you to strive for self-improvement, implying that you’re doing things wrong and there’s a better way.
Instead, this is a book full of compassionate wisdom, creativity, and connection. It’s the kind of book I call a “storied-how-to.” Here is an open-hearted invitation to know our gifts and limitations while choosing how we want to be elders in our families. This is encouragement to be ourselves, respectful of needs—our own as well as our children’s and grandchildren’s.
The Mindful Grandparent is NOT a guilt-trippy self-help book. It delivers on its promise to be “a guide and source of refuge for the sacred and sometimes bewildering work of grandparenting.”
That wisdom-way of presenting information and inspiration makes this book worthy of 4 stars. The 5th star is for 3 areas of excellence.
1) The authors collaborate skillfully to show, again and again, that there is no single “right” way to grandparent. The opening section “The Widening Circle” reinforces this non-supremacist way of being in the world by reminding grandparents that no one of us is the sole or most important influence in our precious grandchildren's lives. Rather, we are important members of their circle of elders.
2) The writing is superb—vivid, engaging, imaginative. I’m exceptionally tough to please in this aspect. Because I dearly love skilled, artistic literary writing, and because I'm committed to spending my free time doing what nurtures me and gives me joy, I don't finish a book if the writing bores or distracts me.
3) It's not merely well-written information, it's a good book>. The book’s organization is both logical and poetic. There’s a hidden 5-act structure, like any good Shakespearean tragicomedy, along with thoughtful acknowledgement of the joys, as well as the unavoidable sorrows, of familial life. Kudos to them for being offering real inspiration, with not a trace of toxic optimism.
I recommend this book for grandparents at any stage of the important, whole-life-affirming journey of becoming elders, of giving to grandchildren "the gift of time made sacred by other gifts--presence, attention, marking, and honoring."
May 6, 2022
Delivered with dashes of humor and dollops of grace, this practical and practice-able handbook is a guidepost for grandparents that’s chockfull of inspiration to encourage, equip, and help you navigate the ups and downs of this all-important relationship and family role. I’m glad I have THE MINDFUL GRANDPARENT to illuminate the journey.
May 5, 2022
The key to this book’s appeal, power, and inspiration is spotlighted in its title. Mindful. Which means, essentially, to be aware. Aware of a kid’s gifts and challenges. Aware of their particulars and larger context. Aware of what seems needed. Aware that you can be a lever, a multiplying force.
Loving and enjoying grandchildren is as easy as falling off a log. Being a grandparent has enriched me. And I’ve seen our grandchildren delight in my wife and me—singalongs in the car, helping prepare meals, gardening—and I’ve seen their love for their other grandparents. The Mindful Grandparent ups the ante. How might you engage with and influence the kids on an issue such as racial diversity? On caring for the Earth? On processing illness and death? Such issues inevitably arise as you steer a stroller down the sidewalk, fill the recycle bin, tend the sick, and grieve the dead.
Being more conscious and intentional and engaged, while providing “quiet spaciousness” for them too, can feel challenging, even daunting. But Marilyn McEntyre and Shirley Showalter give ideas and examples to turn your potential as a teacher and influencer into your grandkids’ reality. You must be true to yourself, to them, and to their situation. You can’t do everything, be what you are not, the authors make clear. Maybe you are not the grandparent who plays soccer too. You’re probably not a saint, either, and in return for your time and attention, can ask for some in return.
But here’s another big thing you must be aware of.
You will resonate in a grandchild for a lifetime.
And through your grandchildren, your touch might ripple into generations you’ll never live to see.
Loving and enjoying grandchildren is as easy as falling off a log. Being a grandparent has enriched me. And I’ve seen our grandchildren delight in my wife and me—singalongs in the car, helping prepare meals, gardening—and I’ve seen their love for their other grandparents. The Mindful Grandparent ups the ante. How might you engage with and influence the kids on an issue such as racial diversity? On caring for the Earth? On processing illness and death? Such issues inevitably arise as you steer a stroller down the sidewalk, fill the recycle bin, tend the sick, and grieve the dead.
Being more conscious and intentional and engaged, while providing “quiet spaciousness” for them too, can feel challenging, even daunting. But Marilyn McEntyre and Shirley Showalter give ideas and examples to turn your potential as a teacher and influencer into your grandkids’ reality. You must be true to yourself, to them, and to their situation. You can’t do everything, be what you are not, the authors make clear. Maybe you are not the grandparent who plays soccer too. You’re probably not a saint, either, and in return for your time and attention, can ask for some in return.
But here’s another big thing you must be aware of.
You will resonate in a grandchild for a lifetime.
And through your grandchildren, your touch might ripple into generations you’ll never live to see.
April 21, 2022
The Mindful Grandparent celebrates the many manifestations of grandparents’ love. For Showalter and McIntyre, that love is expressed in each story carefully told, and in their thoughtful reflection on what it means to be grandparents in a world beset by challenges. What they’ve written is most certainly a gift for their grandchildren, who now have their families’ stories and traditions lovingly inscribed by their grandmas. But The Mindful Grandparent is also a gift for those who long to develop close, intentional, sacred relationships with their children’s children.
September 1, 2023
Uff da.
No meat here. A lotta kumbaya and granola.
No meat here. A lotta kumbaya and granola.
March 5, 2023
Correction to Goodreads: there are TWO co-authors - Marilyn McEntyre and Shirley Showalter. Two seemingly different books that each list one of the authors' names are really the same book.
Mostly rather generic advice ("relax & be nice") for grandparents on being friends with and helping raise their grandkids. Also a lot of very specific suggestions (making flashcards to support a game of "questions", planning and cooking a meal, etc. etc.). Much of what's here could equally well be in a _parents book rather than a _GRANDparents book. Some obvious "christian" overtones, but nothing too preachy or oppressive.
A reminder of one tenet that's too often conveniently forgotten: grandparents are NOT parents and shouldn't try to appropriate any sort of final authority. Nothing beyond "Grandma's house, Grandma's rules"; do NOT try to override the parents even if you disagree. If you feel strongly, you can make no contribution at all just by quietly avoiding participating, but don't go any farther than that. Not being so serious has its advantages too, for example not being forced to be so anxious.
And a couple ideas that were new to me. One is handling really seriously the possibility of grandparents as nanny/babysitter for the first year while the parents go back to work. So seriously even subletting the old homestead and moving into spare rooms in the parents house for a year are "on the table" to at least be discussed by parents and grandparents. The other is "grandparents camp", a semi-structured week every year where the kids stay at the grandparents house, and all the activities during that week center around the kids.
One idea that's here -but probably should be expanded into a more general context- is SLOW DOWN. For example, rather than making rules about when to turn off phones, go for a long aimless walk and stop and really look at every dandelion and caterpillar and tree. Don't talk about it, just do it. At first it will feel weird, but very soon the kids will come to appreciate the slower pace that gives THEM the time they need to be themselves.
Mostly rather generic advice ("relax & be nice") for grandparents on being friends with and helping raise their grandkids. Also a lot of very specific suggestions (making flashcards to support a game of "questions", planning and cooking a meal, etc. etc.). Much of what's here could equally well be in a _parents book rather than a _GRANDparents book. Some obvious "christian" overtones, but nothing too preachy or oppressive.
A reminder of one tenet that's too often conveniently forgotten: grandparents are NOT parents and shouldn't try to appropriate any sort of final authority. Nothing beyond "Grandma's house, Grandma's rules"; do NOT try to override the parents even if you disagree. If you feel strongly, you can make no contribution at all just by quietly avoiding participating, but don't go any farther than that. Not being so serious has its advantages too, for example not being forced to be so anxious.
And a couple ideas that were new to me. One is handling really seriously the possibility of grandparents as nanny/babysitter for the first year while the parents go back to work. So seriously even subletting the old homestead and moving into spare rooms in the parents house for a year are "on the table" to at least be discussed by parents and grandparents. The other is "grandparents camp", a semi-structured week every year where the kids stay at the grandparents house, and all the activities during that week center around the kids.
One idea that's here -but probably should be expanded into a more general context- is SLOW DOWN. For example, rather than making rules about when to turn off phones, go for a long aimless walk and stop and really look at every dandelion and caterpillar and tree. Don't talk about it, just do it. At first it will feel weird, but very soon the kids will come to appreciate the slower pace that gives THEM the time they need to be themselves.
April 27, 2022
As we hold that new grand baby in our arms, the offspring of our own child, we know we want to get it right. But being a grandparent isn’t always easy. The Mindful Grandparent is a thoughtful and helpful guide to navigating one of the most rewarding and most challenging of life’s opportunities.
Shirley Showalter and Marilyn McEntyre, the authors of “The Mindful Grandparent,” set out to give grandparents the tools to make the most of this special role in life. And they deliver. Grandparents themselves - McEntyre of nine and Showalter of three - the authors rely on their life experiences to write the short essays that comprise the chapters of this easy-to-read book. Topics covered are timeless and timely, from respecting the parents’ wishes on what they do or don’t want their children to eat, especially when those choices don’t match our own; to the importance of building cross-cultural and cross-racial relations to help children understand our broader world; to coming to grips with emotions and difficult topics like dying. Each chapter includes a list of Suggestions for Grandparents, offering practical ideas for implementing the concept just presented.
The Mindful Grandparent is written mainly for those in the earlier years of grand parenting. As I read, I wished I’d had this guide when I was a new grandparent and I also found myself wishing for a similar book that focused on the challenges of the later teen years. But a grandparent always has a role to play, and The Mindful Grandparent triggered many thoughts I could use with my grandchildren. For instance, the suggestion of writing letters to your grandchildren at important points in their lives or as part of your will. That’s advice good for any age.
I recommend this book for anyone who who is looking forward to being a grandparent or who is a grandparent.
Shirley Showalter and Marilyn McEntyre, the authors of “The Mindful Grandparent,” set out to give grandparents the tools to make the most of this special role in life. And they deliver. Grandparents themselves - McEntyre of nine and Showalter of three - the authors rely on their life experiences to write the short essays that comprise the chapters of this easy-to-read book. Topics covered are timeless and timely, from respecting the parents’ wishes on what they do or don’t want their children to eat, especially when those choices don’t match our own; to the importance of building cross-cultural and cross-racial relations to help children understand our broader world; to coming to grips with emotions and difficult topics like dying. Each chapter includes a list of Suggestions for Grandparents, offering practical ideas for implementing the concept just presented.
The Mindful Grandparent is written mainly for those in the earlier years of grand parenting. As I read, I wished I’d had this guide when I was a new grandparent and I also found myself wishing for a similar book that focused on the challenges of the later teen years. But a grandparent always has a role to play, and The Mindful Grandparent triggered many thoughts I could use with my grandchildren. For instance, the suggestion of writing letters to your grandchildren at important points in their lives or as part of your will. That’s advice good for any age.
I recommend this book for anyone who who is looking forward to being a grandparent or who is a grandparent.
April 19, 2022
The Mindful Grand-parent by Marilyn McEntyre and Shirley Showalter offers kindly guidance for grandparents of all ages and stages: a handbook of practical instruction, a roadmap for discovering the joys of grand-parenting, and a treasure trove of personal stories and resources.
Authors McEntire and Showalter, both educators, knit themes together with stories gleaned from experience. The authors never lose sight of their audience, offering down-to-earth suggestions for grandparents. Some is contained in lists, which I found helpful:
Ch. 15 “Stuff Better than Toys”
Ch. 25 “What Good Grandparents Do”
Ch. 43 “A Few Truths to Talk About”
Helpful tips for specific needs are also included:
• Grand-parenting from afar? Light a candle as a way to send out love energy to distant grandchildren.
• What about emotion? Authors address fear and cite books and songs that inspire courage. 131
• How to become a good ancestor? See Chapter 49
As a grandparent of four teens, this book invited me to reminisce and pause to consider my legacy. Bite-size chapters make for stress-free reading. At 257 pages, the book is a must-read for those on the threshold of grand-parenting or long-time elders. This well-researched volume can be a great Mother’s Day or birthday gift for grandparents at both ends of the spectrum.
Authors McEntire and Showalter, both educators, knit themes together with stories gleaned from experience. The authors never lose sight of their audience, offering down-to-earth suggestions for grandparents. Some is contained in lists, which I found helpful:
Ch. 15 “Stuff Better than Toys”
Ch. 25 “What Good Grandparents Do”
Ch. 43 “A Few Truths to Talk About”
Helpful tips for specific needs are also included:
• Grand-parenting from afar? Light a candle as a way to send out love energy to distant grandchildren.
• What about emotion? Authors address fear and cite books and songs that inspire courage. 131
• How to become a good ancestor? See Chapter 49
As a grandparent of four teens, this book invited me to reminisce and pause to consider my legacy. Bite-size chapters make for stress-free reading. At 257 pages, the book is a must-read for those on the threshold of grand-parenting or long-time elders. This well-researched volume can be a great Mother’s Day or birthday gift for grandparents at both ends of the spectrum.
May 6, 2022
Unlike the many other grand-parenting handbooks on the market, The Mindful Grandparent offers a wise perspective rather than another list of rules. Yes, every chapter ends with useful tips. But the core message of the book is about the underlying attributes of presence, trust, and awareness that guide us to do the right thing.
Mindful grand-parenting is not about heeding a set of rules; it’s a dance. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about seeing the world newly and with deep awareness at each step along the way. And it’s not only about teaching our young ones; it’s also about learning from them the qualities of innocence and childlikeness that we have too often buried.
Whether you are already a seasoned grandparent or on the threshold of this chapter of your life, this book will challenge you to awaken to who you are in this moment, and who you can become, which as the authors say, is “what grand-parenting, and life itself, is all about.”
Mindful grand-parenting is not about heeding a set of rules; it’s a dance. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about seeing the world newly and with deep awareness at each step along the way. And it’s not only about teaching our young ones; it’s also about learning from them the qualities of innocence and childlikeness that we have too often buried.
Whether you are already a seasoned grandparent or on the threshold of this chapter of your life, this book will challenge you to awaken to who you are in this moment, and who you can become, which as the authors say, is “what grand-parenting, and life itself, is all about.”
April 29, 2022
"We may not be able to make the lives of our grandchildren simpler or altogether safe, but we can make sure they know that on this earthly adventure they will be held, witnessed, accompanied and loved." The words of Marilyn McEntyre and Shirley Showalter in their marvelous new book will resonate with those who seek to make the most of the unique role of grandparenting.
By sharing their own personal experiences and wisdom, the authors compel the reader to reimagine creative and supportive ways to engage one's own grandchildren in the context of today's opportunities and challenges. Practical resources and tools for enhancing grandparenting tasks are fresh and thoughtful. But it is the invitation to hold the grandchild-grandparent space sacred that leaves the reader feeling excited and confident about each encounter ahead!
By sharing their own personal experiences and wisdom, the authors compel the reader to reimagine creative and supportive ways to engage one's own grandchildren in the context of today's opportunities and challenges. Practical resources and tools for enhancing grandparenting tasks are fresh and thoughtful. But it is the invitation to hold the grandchild-grandparent space sacred that leaves the reader feeling excited and confident about each encounter ahead!
June 27, 2022
The Mindful Grandparent by Marilyn McIntyre and Shirley Showalter guided me on a gentle journey of thought and reflection about the many intriguing and complex aspects of the grandparent relationship. As veterans in grand parenting, they offer insight and wisdom into this stage of life.
The book is divided into five sections: The Widening Circle, The World Around Them, Feelings, Grandparenting by Hand, Their Future and Ours. The breadth of the topics covered would add to the skill set for any grandparent. They combine personal anecdotes to illustrate a concept and follow up with a section which includes additional reading, children's literature, and other resources. The book is a delight to read and provides much to ponder.
The book is divided into five sections: The Widening Circle, The World Around Them, Feelings, Grandparenting by Hand, Their Future and Ours. The breadth of the topics covered would add to the skill set for any grandparent. They combine personal anecdotes to illustrate a concept and follow up with a section which includes additional reading, children's literature, and other resources. The book is a delight to read and provides much to ponder.
September 28, 2022
Full of thoughtful reflection, practical wisdom, and suggestions for making the most of the time we spend with our grandchildren, The Mindful Grandparent: The Art of Loving Our Children's Children is just as much a treasure for grandparents just starting out on this important and oh-so-fulfilling journey when our children have children as it is for seasoned grandparents. Highly recommend!
December 11, 2023
A thoughtful guide to grandparenting with helpful suggestions at the end of each chapter.
“…we can model aging in a way that teaches the children that adults’ lives are rich and varied and interesting even after they become grandparents,” the authors write. “There ample opportunity for self-reflection and even fun in deciding what kind of grandma to be.” Amen.
“…we can model aging in a way that teaches the children that adults’ lives are rich and varied and interesting even after they become grandparents,” the authors write. “There ample opportunity for self-reflection and even fun in deciding what kind of grandma to be.” Amen.
June 18, 2022
I love how this book speaks of being aware of your grandchild's needs, gifts, interests, etc. The book also talks about today's Grandparents and how the role of grandparents has changed with the times. I wish this book were given to every new grandparent.
April 26, 2023
Shared to us from our friend Elvesta!
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews