The Time-Starved Family

by DeAnne Flynn

You re busy. Your spouse is busy. Your children are busy. So when do you find time to spend together as a family? Is it possible to foster individual interests and talents in your children while still focusing on the things that will bring you the greatest rewards as a family? As a mother of seven children, DeAnne Flynn has experienced firsthand the challenge of staying balanced in a world where jam-packed calendars have taken a huge toll on family time. The sixteen practical ideas in this book will help families break out of the hectic, overscheduled, underconnected way of life that has become the norm for both parents and children. Her sensible and realistic approach will help relieve anxiety, encourage self-reliance in kids, and restore order and simplicity to daily family life. Isn t it time to refocus your energy on the best choices for your family?

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Lds, Self Help

160 pages, Paperback

First published January 27, 2009

Reviews

[Sarah · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book arrived in the mail today, sent by a well-meaning relative. From other reviews on here I get the impression that this book can be helpful for some people in the target audience - upper-middle class white Mormon mothers with several children. Obviously, I was not the intended reader, with only my race and religion intersecting. In fact, she suggests that people without children can't have valid opinions about parenting. So I will end my review now, because as a woman without children, I clearly can't judge the value of this book.

PS She is also highly critically of the Suzuki method, although I was unimpressed by her reasoning.

[Rosanne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have heard about this book from a few places and so I finally broke down and bought it. Since I am always searching for ways to help family life work better, I thought this would be good to read. So far I am liking and agreeing with what she has to say.
I finished the book and I really liked it. Now the trick is to remember all that I have learned or been reminded of and put it into practice.

[Melissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best getting-back-to-the-basics books I've read in a while. It helped remind me of what's most important in life and had some great parenting advice as well. One of the ideas I really liked from this book was that Flynn says that we have to just know and accept that being a mom is hard, hard work and not always fun and games.

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good reminder of where and how we spend our time, and how it affects the family as a whole.

[Dawn · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was life changing for me. I think every parent should read it. It helps you to see life in perspective and weed out the junk. I’ve gone back to this book and read it again many times.

[Cam]

When I was young my mom didn't have my sisters and I put into a million different things, and I really appreciate that we could just play and enjoy being little. I would like to do the same thing for my kids- but I feel the pressure everytime someone asks, "What preschool are you putting Macey in?", "Is she doing gymnastics?", etc... I don't think there is anything wrong with letting your kids participate in different sports/music/dance opportunities- but I think a lot of families over do it. I've worked for families where our whole evenings were spent in the car shuffling kids from one activity to the next, and I've seen my own cousin live at the dance studio and eat dinner out of vending machines-- I think oftentime we associate being busy with being important-- and I'm really trying to change my view on this. I am trying to simplify, and learn how to say no, and not feel the pressure to keep up with everyone else. So, this book was a good reminder for me- there wasn't anything ground breaking, but there were some great quotes from different general conferences that address this issue and it made me feel better about just enjoying this time with my girls before they start school, and also feel better about not entertaining them all of the time- it's important for kids to learn how to entertain themselves.

[Michelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well, this wasn't quite what I was hoping for. Much of it was a rant against organized classes and not giving children enough responsibility, about simultaneously expecting more from children and less. So it came across kind of mixed up. Not to mention a little annoying at times--I really don't need a several page screed against six classes per child per week. I don't HAVE that. I have three kids, and all we really do are Church and Scouting, plus part-time jobs, all of which Flynn thinks we should be doing, and THAT has us under enough pressure that we are struggling to be consistent with family home evening, scripture study, and family traditions. What do you do when the BEST things--Church and Scouting--have you busy enough you sometimes wonder what it would look like to have a single relaxed evening? That's what I was hoping for. It's not what I got.

[Romie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Full of great advice, the point of this book is to get parents to think about their motivation for how we schedule our kids' lives. The author has 7 children and got caught up in the race of trying to have too many lessons and activities, and she shares what she learned and how she changed. I think I may read the Tiger Mother book next, it'll be a good contrast. Though The Time Starved Family doesn't advocate lazy parenting by any means, it does advise ending activities that are just bringing a negative environment to the home life, and advises against forcing children into activities. From what I've heard Tiger Mother is the opposite in those aspects. Anyway, a great book and one I'll refer to again I'm sure.

[Alisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall the title of this book caught my eye because I never feel like I have enough time. I don’t have near the amount of kids as the author does, but I still have those same frustrations. I thought she had some good ideas as far as balancing and learning to say no and how to keep your kids in line with what is truly important. I’m not going to go out and buy the book, but it may be worth reviewing from time to time on ideas. I did like her idea of the family calendar so everyone can know what is going on and when. I also especially liked how she said mothers, you don’t have to do everything or be everything all at once.

[Lynne · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought this was a really valuable parenting book to read and I'm glad I took the time to do it. I agree with the author that it is really easy to slip into a habit of extreme busy-ness with our children: getting involved in every good activity, sport, lesson, etc. in the name of helping them develop skill and talents, but as a result, failing to allow our children the time to actually thrive, and develop non-measurable talents like compassion, kindness, responsibility, and humility.

(*And, there is a chapter called "Don't make homework and practicing your jobs" -- the book is worth reading for just these few pages alone).

[Tracy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is such a timely book for families. I only have 2 children. When I think of mothers like DeAnne with 7 children, I wonder how they can possibly function ... I feel overwhelmed so much of the time with my 2!
Regardless of the various family dynamics, life is busier than ever before. The principles in this book apply to any family and every family. DeAnne's ideas make sense and are easy to apply. This book makes the complexities of managing family life seem more simple ... and simplicity is what so many of us need!

[Nicole Skidmore · Rating 4 out of 5]

A reminder to simplify our lives, remembering that our goal is to return to our Heavenly Father and not to be distracted by the busyness of the world that we forget our goal. DeAnne writes as though she is talking to a friend, and you realize she isn't perfect, but has struggled like all mothers to provide balance for her family. I loved her straightforward advice, and finished the book with a resolve utilize our "time" wisely.

[Anne-marie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Can't we all use a reminder like this? Thank you to DeAnne for sacrificing her time and energy to write a book that enterprises ideas toward the good of our families! I enjoyed the quick read and have tried to employ many of her suggestions. No matter what income level, race or religion, we are all fighting the same battle to make time for ourselves and our families. And I agree with DeAnne, not just time, "quallity time".

[Joanne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have just read this book for the 2nd time and am a big fan of what DeAnne says. No kids at home to try these out on but what I learned in how to treat other people's children is a tremendous help.

I think each time I read this, I learn more and more and it doesn't hurt me at all. I especially loved the part about her respect for her mother. I work toward this in trying to improve my own character.

Good ideas with good results.

5 Stars for sure.

JoAnne Ford

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Here's what I thought 1/2 way: So far, I'm actually enjoying it. It's not "lecuture-y"!

Now that I'm finished, I still think the same. However, it was a whole book devoted to such a narrow topic and I consider myself "reasonable" in managing this with my family. I did appreciate several little "gems" of suggestions and how uplifting it was.

This book is more for parents who have multiple children at home and are running them around to activities.

[Julie King · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a very easy and quick read. I like how Flynn talks about time being the great equalizer since we all have the same amount of hours in every day. I also feel that she does an excellent job of helping clarify what is important to your family and letting everything else that is just noise to drop away. The other myth that we have bought into is that a busy mom equals a good mom. I found her insights simple and yet powerful.

[Christina · Rating 2 out of 5]

Nothing earth-shattering in this book, just a good reminder not to over-schedule and overdo. I'm probably the queen of simplifying in a lot of ways, though, so I'm probably not the intended audience and I didn't find anything new in the book. So for my family, this is a 2-star book, but I think it carries a good message that would be helpful to many others.

[Kathy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great little book. Wonderful ideas for slowing down, thriving instead of just surviving, finding balance, getting organized, keeping things simple, saying no, and focusing on things that really count.

You can't do it all...and do it all well.
Nobody's perfect, so don't expect your family to be.

[Karen · Rating 2 out of 5]

For upper-middle class who think it might be nice to simplify and limit your many children down to just 1 music class and 1 sport per season.... Sorry, I just didn't get anything new out of this. She had a few good organization ideas for unorganized moms. Sounded great on the back of the book though.

[Carol Hinckley · Rating 5 out of 5]

DeAnne is so right about how fast we are running and how little time we take with our families to do what is really important -- eat together, spend time together. I think we spend more time in our cars with our kids than in our homes. She has some great ideas to bring our families closer together and eliminate thin things from our lives.

[Rick · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am very happy that I read this book. My son is too young yet to be over-involved in scheduled activities. But I found that this book gave me a chance to look at some of the items that I have on my calendar that I consider essential that are not. I found myself finishing the book and re-evaluating my priorities.

[Vanessa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although there wasn't really anything in this book that I haven't already heard, I really appreciated the sweet reminder of what is most important in the lives of my family. I loved how she often quoted prophets, apostles, and scripture. I feel better prepared and more committed to make good choices with our family's time.

[Rachelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

It didn't really give me any solutions (probably because there are no solutions for a busy family other than cutting stuff out, and we have already done that.) Big families are busy. period. You just have to make sure that the improtant things - scripture study, FHE, mutual, family together time, Church, etc. get done first. Keep your priorties straight.

[Becky H. · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was able to hear DeAnne Flynn speak and I was so impressed at how she keeps herself and her family all in-line and together. I am looking forward to this read.....
Has a lot of good ideas and pointers. But it all gets down to what are your priorities?--here are some ideas of how to fit "it" into your busy schedules.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great book. Well written, concise, and to the point. Very good for people wanting a few ideas on how to prioritize and concentrate on what is really important: your family. This is a wonderful book especially for large families who spend a lot of time running their children around to different activities.

[Jeanette · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book because it is real. It is one thing to think about simplifying our lives and wanting to, but another to put it into action. I think it takes courage to pull yourself and family out of "good" things to focus on the most important things. Whether you have a large family or not, this book gives great ideas to make changes and I am always looking for suggestions.

[Melissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is on helping families focus on what matters most and not allowing the many distractions of the world to take over our focus on Christ and families.I'm so grateful I read this book now! I debated since my kids are young and not really involved in outside activities, but I am glad I can now be more prepared. I highly recommend this book!

[Apzmarshl · Rating 4 out of 5]

While this book is filled with common sense about not over scheduling your family and helping them become responsible and independent, it was a nice reminder at a time when I feel like I am surviving in crisis mode too often and not 'living' or thriving. I hope it gives me the guts to JUST SAY NO to some things I don't have room for in my life.

[Stephanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

My kids are young enough that we haven't really gotten to the busy stage of extra curricular activities, and even before reading this, I was already leaning towards a "less is more" attitude. That said, I still found some helpful ideas, like involving kids in chores around the house, something I've been struggling with for a while and I'm still trying to figure out.

[Tanya Wadley · Rating 4 out of 5]

It has been a couple of months since I read this. It's a quick read with very simple and sensible advice for life simplification. I have read a few of these books before, so I admit I didn't find a lot of new ideas. It was a good read.