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Over and Over Again
A ring of braided grass. A promise. Ten years of separation.
And memories of an innocent love with the power to last through time.
When Luca Ward was five years old, he swore he would love Imre Claybourne forever. Years later, that promise holds true—and when Luca finds himself shipped off to Imre’s North Yorkshire goat farm in disgrace, long-buried feelings flare back to life when he finds, in Imre, the same patiently stoic gentle giant he’d loved as a boy. The lines around Imre’s eyes may be deeper, the once-black night of his hair silvered to steel and stone…but he’s still the same slow-moving mountain of a man whose quiet-spoken warmth, gentle hands, and deep ties to his Roma heritage have always, to Luca, meant home.
The problem?
Imre is more than twice Luca’s age.
And Luca’s father’s best friend.
Yet if Imre is everything Luca remembered, for Imre this hot-eyed, fey young man is nothing of the boy he knew. Gone is the child, replaced by a vivid man whose fettered spirit is spinning, searching for north, his heart a thing of wild sweet pure emotion that draws Imre into the compelling fire of Luca’s frustrated passions. That fragile heart means everything to Imre—and he’ll do anything to protect it.
Even if it means distancing himself, when the years between them are a chasm Imre doesn’t know how to cross.
But can he resist the allure in cat-green eyes when Luca places his trembling heart in Imre’s hands…and begs for his love, over and over again?
And memories of an innocent love with the power to last through time.
When Luca Ward was five years old, he swore he would love Imre Claybourne forever. Years later, that promise holds true—and when Luca finds himself shipped off to Imre’s North Yorkshire goat farm in disgrace, long-buried feelings flare back to life when he finds, in Imre, the same patiently stoic gentle giant he’d loved as a boy. The lines around Imre’s eyes may be deeper, the once-black night of his hair silvered to steel and stone…but he’s still the same slow-moving mountain of a man whose quiet-spoken warmth, gentle hands, and deep ties to his Roma heritage have always, to Luca, meant home.
The problem?
Imre is more than twice Luca’s age.
And Luca’s father’s best friend.
Yet if Imre is everything Luca remembered, for Imre this hot-eyed, fey young man is nothing of the boy he knew. Gone is the child, replaced by a vivid man whose fettered spirit is spinning, searching for north, his heart a thing of wild sweet pure emotion that draws Imre into the compelling fire of Luca’s frustrated passions. That fragile heart means everything to Imre—and he’ll do anything to protect it.
Even if it means distancing himself, when the years between them are a chasm Imre doesn’t know how to cross.
But can he resist the allure in cat-green eyes when Luca places his trembling heart in Imre’s hands…and begs for his love, over and over again?
18 pages, Audible Audio
First published January 1, 2018
332 people are currently reading
2325 people want to read
About the author
Cole McCade
63 books1,523 followersSlender. Angry. (Part) Asian.
Yeah, that about sums me up.
Hi. I’m Cole. Xen. Whatever you want to call me; both are true, and both are lies. My pen names are multitudes, my nicknames legion. Tall, bi/queer, introverted author of a brown-ish persuasion made up of various flavors of Black, Asian, and Native American. I’m cuter than Hello Kitty, more bitter than the blackest coffee, and able to trip over cats in a single half-asleep lurch; I’m what happens when a Broody Antihero and a Manic Pixie Dream Boy fight to the death, and someone builds a person from the scraps left behind. Beardless, I look like the uke in every yaoi manga in existence; bearded or not, I sound like Barry White. About half my time is spent as a corporate writer, and the other half riding a train of WTFery that sometimes results in a finished book. Romance, erotica, sci-fi, horror, paranormal; LGBTQIA and cishet; diverse settings and diverse characters from a diverse author.
Sometimes I shout about things on the internet. Usually intersectional feminism and marginalized voices, and whomever’s punching down in those directions today. Sometimes human sociology, the psychology of sex and gender, and my own gender non-conforming arse (he/him, by the way). Sometimes I get really mad at Stephen Hawking and nerd out all over the place about hairy black holes, and believe it or not, that’s not a terrible pun or even worse innuendo.
That’s it. I’m a huge dork. My humor’s so dry it could empty oceans. I’m a native Southerner from the New Orleans area with zero Southern accent; I’m a mess of multi-ethnic, multi-cultural, multi-lingual influences; I have two cats. I wake up at daft hours of the morning to go running. I crochet terrible, lumpy things that never really turn into anything. I’m older than you think I look. I’m much more shy than my fury makes me sound (signifying gods only know what, but probably nothing). Recently I decided, at 36, that I needed to restart my life and move cross-country, so I tossed 75% of my possessions in the trash and randomly trucked it to Seattle. I’m in love with books and music and technology, and they war with each other for dominance and sometimes come together in a beautiful confluence. Most of the physical books I own are strange, obscure, out of print, overseas imports, or any combination of the four. Most of the physical books I used to own were destroyed in Hurricane Katrina, and have been replaced with the infinite library on my Nook. My wallet has a dangerous attraction to anything with pages; it flirts and teases and gives its all, until there’s nothing left but emptiness and ruin.
There will always be things you don’t know, and I won’t tell.
But ask me late at night over live music in a seedy bar, and you might just get an honest answer.
...or you can poke me via:
* Email: blackmagic@blackmagicblues.com
* Twitter: @thisblackmagic
* Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/xen.cole
* Website & Blog: http://www.blackmagicblues.com
* Tumblr: http://thisblackmagic.tumblr.com/
And there's my Xen Sanders SFF / Horror profile:
https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Yeah, that about sums me up.
Hi. I’m Cole. Xen. Whatever you want to call me; both are true, and both are lies. My pen names are multitudes, my nicknames legion. Tall, bi/queer, introverted author of a brown-ish persuasion made up of various flavors of Black, Asian, and Native American. I’m cuter than Hello Kitty, more bitter than the blackest coffee, and able to trip over cats in a single half-asleep lurch; I’m what happens when a Broody Antihero and a Manic Pixie Dream Boy fight to the death, and someone builds a person from the scraps left behind. Beardless, I look like the uke in every yaoi manga in existence; bearded or not, I sound like Barry White. About half my time is spent as a corporate writer, and the other half riding a train of WTFery that sometimes results in a finished book. Romance, erotica, sci-fi, horror, paranormal; LGBTQIA and cishet; diverse settings and diverse characters from a diverse author.
Sometimes I shout about things on the internet. Usually intersectional feminism and marginalized voices, and whomever’s punching down in those directions today. Sometimes human sociology, the psychology of sex and gender, and my own gender non-conforming arse (he/him, by the way). Sometimes I get really mad at Stephen Hawking and nerd out all over the place about hairy black holes, and believe it or not, that’s not a terrible pun or even worse innuendo.
That’s it. I’m a huge dork. My humor’s so dry it could empty oceans. I’m a native Southerner from the New Orleans area with zero Southern accent; I’m a mess of multi-ethnic, multi-cultural, multi-lingual influences; I have two cats. I wake up at daft hours of the morning to go running. I crochet terrible, lumpy things that never really turn into anything. I’m older than you think I look. I’m much more shy than my fury makes me sound (signifying gods only know what, but probably nothing). Recently I decided, at 36, that I needed to restart my life and move cross-country, so I tossed 75% of my possessions in the trash and randomly trucked it to Seattle. I’m in love with books and music and technology, and they war with each other for dominance and sometimes come together in a beautiful confluence. Most of the physical books I own are strange, obscure, out of print, overseas imports, or any combination of the four. Most of the physical books I used to own were destroyed in Hurricane Katrina, and have been replaced with the infinite library on my Nook. My wallet has a dangerous attraction to anything with pages; it flirts and teases and gives its all, until there’s nothing left but emptiness and ruin.
There will always be things you don’t know, and I won’t tell.
But ask me late at night over live music in a seedy bar, and you might just get an honest answer.
...or you can poke me via:
* Email: blackmagic@blackmagicblues.com
* Twitter: @thisblackmagic
* Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/xen.cole
* Website & Blog: http://www.blackmagicblues.com
* Tumblr: http://thisblackmagic.tumblr.com/
And there's my Xen Sanders SFF / Horror profile:
https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 479 reviews
March 7, 2025
update: february 8th, 2019:
That was just as magical and beautiful and sweet the second time. I have to say that Luca and Imre are one of my favorite OTPs of all time, and I just don't think I'm ever going to stop gushing about this incredible story. ♥
——————
first read: june 16th, 2018:
When I first heard about this book, the author was accepting ARC requests, and I immediately had to send one in. Feel free to judge my long love of this “taboo”, but I have loved age gap romances ever since I was a preteen. My favorite theme in age gap pairings is when the older individual is this sort of mature, caring, stoic type, while the younger is still wild and angsty and trying to find their place in the world… which basically sums up Imre and Luca, but there’s so much more to it than that, too.
Luca, the younger man, is a gay 19-going-on-20-year-old, and is an utter wreck inside. He’s got a turbulent home life, and he’s desperate for love and attention, especially from Imre, who he swears he’s been in love with practically his entire life. I know, there’s a lot of potential for the relationship to come across as “grooming”, but let me go ahead and put your mind at ease: nothing in this coupling felt inappropriate or pedophilic to me whatsoever, and Imre is honestly as innocent as they come.
For every place that Luca warms my heart with his fragility and tenderness, Imre turns me into a damn puddle with how kind and gentle and honest he is. He’s a goat farmer, but he loves and cherishes all of his animals so much, and he’s just the most ridiculously precious “gentle giant” sort of character that I’m a complete sucker for. He constantly deals with this internal warring over his growing feelings for Luca, and sometimes, his perspectives are so hard to read because you can just feel the agonizing guilt in his chest.
Beyond the romance and Luca’s coming-of-age story, there are a few underlying currents that I loved: 1) Imre’s demisexuality, which Luca speaks frequently about how much he respects and how terrified he is of violating; and 2) Imre’s Romani heritage. There’s a scene where he mentions feeling like his culture has been watered down and erased due to the forced displacement of his ancestors, and it is absolutely heartbreaking and so incredibly necessary. Romani rep is something that I feel like we see so rarely, and I loved Cole for adding those pieces in to Imre’s fabric.
It’s a long book, clocking in at just under 600 pages, but it’s such a fast read, and so addicting; I literally read this in one day, and could not focus on anything else until I finished it. It is a sloooooow burn in the best way, and the payoff is passionate, sweet, and worth every moment of building up. AND there are baby goats, sooo…
Luca and Imre are my new favorite adult contemporary OTP, and I strongly encourage every single fan of contemporary romance to pick this book up ASAP! ♥
That was just as magical and beautiful and sweet the second time. I have to say that Luca and Imre are one of my favorite OTPs of all time, and I just don't think I'm ever going to stop gushing about this incredible story. ♥
——————
first read: june 16th, 2018:
When I first heard about this book, the author was accepting ARC requests, and I immediately had to send one in. Feel free to judge my long love of this “taboo”, but I have loved age gap romances ever since I was a preteen. My favorite theme in age gap pairings is when the older individual is this sort of mature, caring, stoic type, while the younger is still wild and angsty and trying to find their place in the world… which basically sums up Imre and Luca, but there’s so much more to it than that, too.
Some people were born with a thick skin; some developed it over time. Luca had been born with skin like paper, and a crystal heart.
Luca, the younger man, is a gay 19-going-on-20-year-old, and is an utter wreck inside. He’s got a turbulent home life, and he’s desperate for love and attention, especially from Imre, who he swears he’s been in love with practically his entire life. I know, there’s a lot of potential for the relationship to come across as “grooming”, but let me go ahead and put your mind at ease: nothing in this coupling felt inappropriate or pedophilic to me whatsoever, and Imre is honestly as innocent as they come.
He’d had massive hands, hands that could crush granite to dust, this great dark earthen god with the strength of stone, but he’d handled everything—from his tiny, bleating goat kids to the smallest clover flower to Luca himself—with a gentleness that flowed from his hands like water, imbued with a living warmth. And Luca had been in love with him, the way only little boys could be.
For every place that Luca warms my heart with his fragility and tenderness, Imre turns me into a damn puddle with how kind and gentle and honest he is. He’s a goat farmer, but he loves and cherishes all of his animals so much, and he’s just the most ridiculously precious “gentle giant” sort of character that I’m a complete sucker for. He constantly deals with this internal warring over his growing feelings for Luca, and sometimes, his perspectives are so hard to read because you can just feel the agonizing guilt in his chest.
That was the problem with Imre; he was so honest, so rawly and quietly true, that his honesty seemed to ask for the same from everyone.
Beyond the romance and Luca’s coming-of-age story, there are a few underlying currents that I loved: 1) Imre’s demisexuality, which Luca speaks frequently about how much he respects and how terrified he is of violating; and 2) Imre’s Romani heritage. There’s a scene where he mentions feeling like his culture has been watered down and erased due to the forced displacement of his ancestors, and it is absolutely heartbreaking and so incredibly necessary. Romani rep is something that I feel like we see so rarely, and I loved Cole for adding those pieces in to Imre’s fabric.
He would destroy himself for this kiss.
It’s a long book, clocking in at just under 600 pages, but it’s such a fast read, and so addicting; I literally read this in one day, and could not focus on anything else until I finished it. It is a sloooooow burn in the best way, and the payoff is passionate, sweet, and worth every moment of building up. AND there are baby goats, sooo…
Luca and Imre are my new favorite adult contemporary OTP, and I strongly encourage every single fan of contemporary romance to pick this book up ASAP! ♥
You can find this review and more on my blog, or you can follow me on twitter, bookstagram, or facebook!
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June 26, 2021
“Is it so wrong that I want you to look at me the way you are now?” he breathed. “That I want you to look at me and only me.”
While there's quite enough to appreciate about Over and Over Again, it didn't take long for me to realize it wasn't all what I expected.
Luca Ward was five years old when he promised to love Imre Claybourne forever, confessing he would even marry him one day. Ten years later, the two are reunited in Imre's North Yorkshire goat farm, a place Luca used to call home, due to Luca's teenage recklessness that causes his parents to send him off to take a break. With his feelings still flaring up and only increasing, Luca might only have to beg for Imre's love to get a hold of himself, unless Imre gets there first.
And Luca had been in love with him, the way only little boys could be.
When I finished reading Season 1 of Cole McCade's Criminal Intentions series, I couldn't get enough of his writing. This book popped up after finishing one of the episodes, and it said it featured a demisexual Romani goat farmer, slow burn romance, and an age gap relationship. It was everything and more than I needed, and I was excited to finish the CI series to get my hands on it. However, my excitement began to die as I continued reading due to the promising potential I realized wasn't there anymore.
Nonetheless, Over and Over Again has its own good qualities. I've mentioned before how Cole McCade has a beautiful way of writing. It didn't take long for Criminal Intentions to win me in with the writing itself. It's uniquely lyrical without being descriptive in an over the top manner. It is entertaining in every sense and imaginative, visually beautiful and compelling without adding too much vivid imagination. If any of his books were to be made into tv series or films, reading while watching the media would be easy to imagine the picture of. It's flowery and magical enough to the point where the writing takes you on its own adventure. In a way, Cole reminds me of Anne-Marie McLemore because of how lucious the writing is, as if one is stepping into a garden in the middle of spring, running around barefoot without a care of the world. There wasn't one single moment the writing itself bored me. It's as if Cole McCade is a dictionary himself and pulls out the best nouns, adjectives, and verbs.
Those clear, calm eyes were remote and strange, as if Imre were an island whose shore Luca could never reach, no matter how far he swam.
What really captured my attention about this book was Imre's role, a Romani demisexual goat farmer. Look, I'm vegan, and any book with animals in it captures my attention, especially baby goats. Cole doesn't kill any of the animals on-page, and he even gives some trigger warnings in the beginning, mentioning that animals are euthanized but not on page. If they were, I would be sobbing my eyes out, and not for good reason. Not only that, but I love reading books with cultures I hardly know about, and while I still don't know much about Romani and Hungarian people, I loved how Cole added the representation with Imre. He's not entirely connected to his roots and he struggles with the language of Romani a little, which reminded me of my self and how disconnected I felt with my culture for a time being. I felt this representation to be very real and sympathetic because of how sad Imre's emotions felt towards his culture and heritage. His family scattered all over England, leaving family members all around, and because Imre didn't have anyone to culturally connect with, his loss of culture is noticeable with the way he struggled speaking the language, but also how disconnected he felt. This was also similar in Criminal Intentions with both Malcolm and Seong-Jae and how both weren't entirely connected to their culture: Seong-Yae doesn't know the Korean language as much as he wishes to, and Malcolm, being religiously Jewish and culturally Middle Eastern, felt like he wasn't enough at times.
Adding on to that, both Seong-Jae and Imre are in the asexual spectrum, with Seong-Jae identifying as asexual and Imre coming to the conclusion that he is demisexual. They aren't "wired" the same as others, and while they do experience sexual desire and attraction towards their partner, I loved how both representations were depicted because of how slow it made the sexual relationship to be. Everyone's asexual experience is different, but I found both to be something beautiful and necessary because of how lacking asexuality is in many books, especially romance books. Most of the time, when the two spoke about their sexual orientation, it felt like I was reading a part of me.
Described as a romantic, Imre is just that. He's gentle and not rushing into anything, not only because of how he feels but because he's worried. With their sexual relationship aside, I found it cute how protective Imre became of Luca. Being much older and experienced, he wanted to do nothing but take Luca's pain away, hold him, and care for him. Some of their scenes were incredibly soft and gentle, and I loved how much holding there was in this. Give me all that spooning between characters and I'll be good.
“But I have many other loves in my life. I am alone, but not lonely.”
The winning key for me was actually Luca. Luca's character is definitely not one anyone would like, but I found myself rooting for him and being able to relate to him. When he spoke with Imre and told him how he feels like he doesn't have any talent and wasn't made to be anyone, giving examples of how some people know they're good with animals, food, art, etc, I felt like a part of me was opened, because that is exactly how I feel every day. I have constantly told my parents (mostly my mother) how I feel like dropping out of university because I feel like I am not doing what I'm supposed to be doing, yet I don't even know what I want to be doing. I've constantly told my friends how I feel lost and out of place because I felt talentless, like I had no passion and love for anything, and wondered how my friends figured out what they like to do, whether it was a hobby or something they wanted to continue doing for the rest of their lives as a career, ranging from fields of science and maths to art and media. Luca, being 19/20, wasn't settled on life, and although he's an adult, he still has his immature, childish, and teenage boy tendencies. There was no way for him to be the mature adult he expected himself to be, and I loved this, because it felt so real and not fake. Not only that, but I loved how Luca's emotions weren't hidden. He cried, screamed, felt loss, felt loved. He felt. I feel as if men's emotions are ignored even in books, so reading about him trying to hide his emotions and feelings, fake a smile on his face, and pretend that everything was okay was saddening yet refreshing because of how new it felt.
“Some people try to find that something for their entire lives, and might be old and grey before they figure it out—and there’s nothing wasted in the things they learned along the way, no matter where their lives might take them. Twenty isn’t so old to still be unsure. But the time you spend finding your way isn’t useless. You aren’t useless.”
I love age gap romances where one character is still trying to figure themselves and their life out yet while the other character is settle in on a career, is mature, and is able to take care of themselves independently. Luca and Imre were clearly that, and Luca's teenage self was still visible, no matter how grown up he made himself to be or how old he felt. I loved this because it showed a reality of what the lives of some people like Luca, like me, are, and it didn't hide the fact that not every nineteen and twenty year old has their life figured out with plans for the future. Luca's path took time for him to get there. By taking one step at a time, he started figuring out more about himself, his likes, and realizing that everything he wanted to do in the past was not what he liked after all. He realized he loved taking care of animals, found himself finding comfort and happiness helping Imre with the animals, but it was also something he realized he was good at. It reminded me of how life never goes according to plan, no matter how much is planned and no matter how much you think you have figured out. Obstacles will always get in the way, and it's up to us to get rid of them or leave them in their place.
Also, I'd like to mention that this is an age rap romance, with Luca being 19/20, and Imre being 46. However, despite how Luca cradled into Imre when he was five as if he was a tree and had a crush on him, I didn't feel like it was in any way pedophilic. Even towards the end, Imre admits he's always love Luca, but that love was always different. The love he had for him when he was a little kid was not the same as the love he grew for him at the age of 20.
“I think there’s a part of us that would always know each other. We could die and come back as different people in different bodies, and we’d still know. We’d still find each other, no matter what.”
With that being said, what threw me off a little was the unnecessary miscommunication I felt in the end and the supposedly slow burn. Physically, the relationship is slow burn. They don't actually get together until after the 50% mark, but mentally, it's not. While we know Luca has always loved Imre, I felt like Imre's feelings for Luca were too quick and underdeveloped. It was already 7% in when he thought, "Luca’s habit of toying with his lower lip, Imre discovered, was entirely distracting." Followed by, Imre snorted under his breath and lengthened his stride so it wasn’t so easy to glance over and watch Luca toying and plucking at his lip with such utter innocence. Nineteen was no age. Technically a man, but still too much a boy. Usually, when it comes to slow burns, I also expect thoughts to be slow-burn, none of that lust and desire in the beginning. While the two may not be together in the beginning, the thoughts are still there, and it gets me thinking, how exactly did these feelings get formed anyway?
The miscommunication towards the end also felt too unnecessary. I expected the drama to be different, more about Luca's parents and Imre. Yet, even when his dad returned and found out about what happened, it was a quick and short talk that it felt like there was nothing to anticipate. Imre and Luca struggled accepting their feelings for each other, which I understood at first, but then it continued on until the end, causing Luca to run off, away from Imre, and have a fight with him. Of course, Imre realized he screwed up by not telling Luca how he actually felt. He was still too concerned over Luca's age but also over the fact that Luca's father is Imre's best friend, wondering what he would think. Not only that, but he also was afraid of people seeing them together, which caused Luca to feel like Imre still saw him as a little boy instead of someone he loved. I understood Luca's side more, and while I hated what happened, I could understand why he felt the way he did. After so many moments together, despite the limit they were in and time ticking, Luca thought Imre's thoughts about him, from being a kid to an adult, had changed, but Imre's thoughts and actions proved him otherwise. This all felt unnecessary and faltered my enjoyment just because I'm not a fan of miscommunication of feelings. After everything the two went through, individually and together, I would have expected Imre to come to his senses much quicker and stop being so worried too much.
And he would bleed every drop out for Luca. For this feeling. He would rip himself to shreds, let himself be torn apart by the silent hurricane inside him, this soundless tempest, this whirlwind whisper of delicate touches that struck with a hammer’s blow. He would destroy himself for this kiss.
Despite the quibbles pointed out, there was a lot I appreciated about this. Cole McCade is definitely a unique author, and I've hardly come across authors with a similar way of writing. I'm still looking forward to finishing his Criminal Intentions series and reading more of his work.
July 6, 2018
*3.75 stars*, rounded up for the explosion of emotions at the end of the story.
Over and Over Again was my first book by Cole McCade and it was a whopper, clocking in at nearly 700 pages. But though the story was lengthy and took me a long time to read, I found it to be really satisfying and completely worth my time.
Over and Over Again is a meal of a story, not a snack.
First of all, in case anyone is curious, Imre's name is pronounced eeee-mm-ray. TBH, I was sort of saying "Ernie" with an "m" sound and mushing it together in my head because that's just what popped in there when I started reading (yes, I know my random pronunciation doesn't make sense). It sounds much prettier the real way, though he'll always be Er-m-ie to me.
Okay, now that that's out of the way, let's get to the meat of things: the story. I was concerned a bit about the relationship between Irme and Luca because of their almost uncle/nephew relationship from childhood. I love an age gap, but I do NOT do incest, and I was worried that it would get a little... creepy. To be frank, it did get a bit close to that line for me at times, but I was able to push past it. I had to remind myself that I was also 19 when I met my older husband, and that helped a bit.
The story is very... poetic. The whole plot trudges along slowly and methodically. The goats need checking on. The food gets cooked. There is a languid pace to the story that I surprisingly liked. There is a reason that the story is so long and that is due to the plethora of farming and atmospheric details. Though I think some repetitiveness could have been paired away, I was surprisingly engaged for the whole story. Sure, I wasn't glued to my Kindle (except for the stellar final 20% or so), but I was never bored while reading. And the writing was truly like poetry at times. Very beautiful descriptors and lots of sensory details made for a lovely reading experience.
I guess I would call this a slow-burn romance, though there is an intimacy there between the MCs from the start. Both characters start off loving each other, in a way, but the physical side takes its time to develop. I thought that the slow burn was very well done, and we got the right amount of heat by the end. I also really loved how Irme was demisexual, which fit right in with his personality and his approach to relationships.
One thing that killed me about Irme was how he rarely spoke in contractions. I know the author was trying to portray the fact that English was perhaps not his first language, but it's always awkward for me to read wordy sentences sans contractions for some reason.
Though it took me over a week to read, Over and Over Again really impressed me by the end. I loved, loved, loved Cole McCade's writing style, and I could easily see him becoming a favorite author of mine. Especially in the last 20% when he made me choke up and feel a huge rush of emotions that took me by surprise. Excellent ending.
Take a chance on Over and Over Again.
*Copy provided in exchange for an honest review*
Over and Over Again was my first book by Cole McCade and it was a whopper, clocking in at nearly 700 pages. But though the story was lengthy and took me a long time to read, I found it to be really satisfying and completely worth my time.
Over and Over Again is a meal of a story, not a snack.
First of all, in case anyone is curious, Imre's name is pronounced eeee-mm-ray. TBH, I was sort of saying "Ernie" with an "m" sound and mushing it together in my head because that's just what popped in there when I started reading (yes, I know my random pronunciation doesn't make sense). It sounds much prettier the real way, though he'll always be Er-m-ie to me.
Okay, now that that's out of the way, let's get to the meat of things: the story. I was concerned a bit about the relationship between Irme and Luca because of their almost uncle/nephew relationship from childhood. I love an age gap, but I do NOT do incest, and I was worried that it would get a little... creepy. To be frank, it did get a bit close to that line for me at times, but I was able to push past it. I had to remind myself that I was also 19 when I met my older husband, and that helped a bit.
The story is very... poetic. The whole plot trudges along slowly and methodically. The goats need checking on. The food gets cooked. There is a languid pace to the story that I surprisingly liked. There is a reason that the story is so long and that is due to the plethora of farming and atmospheric details. Though I think some repetitiveness could have been paired away, I was surprisingly engaged for the whole story. Sure, I wasn't glued to my Kindle (except for the stellar final 20% or so), but I was never bored while reading. And the writing was truly like poetry at times. Very beautiful descriptors and lots of sensory details made for a lovely reading experience.
I guess I would call this a slow-burn romance, though there is an intimacy there between the MCs from the start. Both characters start off loving each other, in a way, but the physical side takes its time to develop. I thought that the slow burn was very well done, and we got the right amount of heat by the end. I also really loved how Irme was demisexual, which fit right in with his personality and his approach to relationships.
One thing that killed me about Irme was how he rarely spoke in contractions. I know the author was trying to portray the fact that English was perhaps not his first language, but it's always awkward for me to read wordy sentences sans contractions for some reason.
Though it took me over a week to read, Over and Over Again really impressed me by the end. I loved, loved, loved Cole McCade's writing style, and I could easily see him becoming a favorite author of mine. Especially in the last 20% when he made me choke up and feel a huge rush of emotions that took me by surprise. Excellent ending.
Take a chance on Over and Over Again.
*Copy provided in exchange for an honest review*
June 25, 2018
At nearly 8,000 Kindle locations, Over and Over Again is a hefty beast of a book. I admit I was daunted by the page count.
I needn't have worried too much though. The prose is quite lovely, and while I found myself wanting to skim on occasion when the plot got tangled up in the details, I was mostly entertained and found myself obsessively googling Yorkshire farms. Sheep are fucking adorable, and I'm not ashamed.
I'm a sucker for an age gap, and since Imre is more than 20 years older than Luca and Luca's father's best friend, there was a bit of very delicious angst over the pseudo uncle/nephew relationship.
The men aren't related, however, and I thought they were absolutely perfect for one another. Imre kept Luca grounded, while Luca brought spontaneity and play into Imre's lonely existence.
It took me a while to warm up to Luca. He was a bit of a brat and quite ungrateful too. Honestly, I'm still a little aghast at how antagonistic Luca was toward his dad, who was no father of the year but who TRIED.
For more than half of the story, there's no real romance. I don't mind a good slow burn, but I wish we'd gotten to the relationship development a little sooner. Imre was so stubborn and terrified of giving into his feelings.
THAT ENDING THOUGH. It's absolutely sigh worthy. It's hope, baby goats, steamy kisses, and a promise woven in ribbon. It's every rainbow and the pot of gold at the end.
Don't let the length of this book put you off. While I do think it could have been a couple hundred pages shorter and all the better for it, Cole McCade is a truly talented writer, and I'm glad I didn't give up on this story.
Disclaimer: The language and dialogue rang authentic to me, but I'm not British and have, much to my dismay, never been to Yorkshire. However, my friend Louise, who was born and raised in this area, says NOPE; the setting doesn't feel particularly Yorkshire-y. See comments below.
I needn't have worried too much though. The prose is quite lovely, and while I found myself wanting to skim on occasion when the plot got tangled up in the details, I was mostly entertained and found myself obsessively googling Yorkshire farms. Sheep are fucking adorable, and I'm not ashamed.
I'm a sucker for an age gap, and since Imre is more than 20 years older than Luca and Luca's father's best friend, there was a bit of very delicious angst over the pseudo uncle/nephew relationship.
The men aren't related, however, and I thought they were absolutely perfect for one another. Imre kept Luca grounded, while Luca brought spontaneity and play into Imre's lonely existence.
It took me a while to warm up to Luca. He was a bit of a brat and quite ungrateful too. Honestly, I'm still a little aghast at how antagonistic Luca was toward his dad, who was no father of the year but who TRIED.
For more than half of the story, there's no real romance. I don't mind a good slow burn, but I wish we'd gotten to the relationship development a little sooner. Imre was so stubborn and terrified of giving into his feelings.
THAT ENDING THOUGH. It's absolutely sigh worthy. It's hope, baby goats, steamy kisses, and a promise woven in ribbon. It's every rainbow and the pot of gold at the end.
Don't let the length of this book put you off. While I do think it could have been a couple hundred pages shorter and all the better for it, Cole McCade is a truly talented writer, and I'm glad I didn't give up on this story.
Disclaimer: The language and dialogue rang authentic to me, but I'm not British and have, much to my dismay, never been to Yorkshire. However, my friend Louise, who was born and raised in this area, says NOPE; the setting doesn't feel particularly Yorkshire-y. See comments below.
June 11, 2025
Second reading 06/2025
via audiobook: Holy moly. That voice. OMG!
First reading 05/2024
Incredibly stunningly gorgeous.
I was so scared to read this because I didn't think I would be able to cope with the almost 27 year age gap. But oh my god this is really incredibly impressive and beautifully written. I'm still in a daze from this book.
And I'm actually not the most patient reader and to still only be at three kisses at 60 percent of the way through the book, especially with the higher number of pages, was a real test for me.
BUT, it was soooo good. Unfortunately I had to take breaks because of sleep and work ..., but I wasn't once bored or felt the need to quickly shove another book in between.
And those first three kisses ... I don't think I've ever read anything better. If only because of the pent-up feelings that this story brings with it. Those three kisses were such jewels ... I'm a little puddle.
I love Luca. His character is so wonderfully portrayed. Some reviews said he wasn't mature enough, but I think he's very mature. Unsure about a lot of things, of course, but he feels very grown up to me. And through Imre's eyes, he is truly beautiful.
Some people were born with a thick skin; some developed it over time. Luca had been born with skin like paper, and a crystal heart. He took everything into himself and transformed it into raw emotion that shone and bled from him in this vivid kaleidoscope of colour. Every love, every loss, every joy, every hurt. 🥺🥀🥺
Luca the boy had been fragile, but Luca the man was completely broken. Lost. Hurting. Wounded, and struggling to cage all that unfettered emotion inside where he could protect it from others’ sharp touches—yet still it burst from him at every seam, desperate to be free. 💔🥀💔
“Why am I a cat now, and not your angel anymore?”
“You’re still my angel. You will always be angyalka.” Imre’s gaze softened. “But that doesn’t change that you’re stubborn and independent, fickle and ferocious, playful and petulant as a cat. You move like a cat. You’ve grown into yourself, and you stretch and slink into long limbs like a feline thing. Leggy and delicate.” 🫠🍀🫠
“This place…it stopped feeling like home, when you left. And now it feels like home again. That is what I see. Not a boy, but the man who makes Lohere feel like home.” 🥰🍀🥰
And for those who don't know the book yet and are wondering whether there is also sex ... yes, not much, but puuuuh so so hot, yummy!!!
He caught a growl in the back of his throat, once more cracking his eyes open, watching Luca with a sort of dazed, riveted wonder as Luca gave himself to what he was doing completely, closing his eyes and absorbing himself with breathy, hitching little mewls. The look on Luca’s face was almost more arousing than the heat of Luca’s mouth, and Imre watched transfixed as that glistening, full red mouth moved over his cock, pulling him into a steady, drawing rhythm that contracted and gripped around his length with maddening friction. 🤤🥵🤤
So after the slowest slow burn ever, at least that's how it feels, there's obviously a bit of melodrama because the two of them logically lack communication. You can see it coming for a long time until it finally happens. Fortunately, it's only a brief hiccup, which makes the reunion all the more beautiful.
And yes the ending is quite abrupt after that mass of slow pages, but I love this book far too much to be put off by it.
via audiobook: Holy moly. That voice. OMG!
First reading 05/2024
Incredibly stunningly gorgeous.
I was so scared to read this because I didn't think I would be able to cope with the almost 27 year age gap. But oh my god this is really incredibly impressive and beautifully written. I'm still in a daze from this book.
And I'm actually not the most patient reader and to still only be at three kisses at 60 percent of the way through the book, especially with the higher number of pages, was a real test for me.
BUT, it was soooo good. Unfortunately I had to take breaks because of sleep and work ..., but I wasn't once bored or felt the need to quickly shove another book in between.
And those first three kisses ... I don't think I've ever read anything better. If only because of the pent-up feelings that this story brings with it. Those three kisses were such jewels ... I'm a little puddle.
I love Luca. His character is so wonderfully portrayed. Some reviews said he wasn't mature enough, but I think he's very mature. Unsure about a lot of things, of course, but he feels very grown up to me. And through Imre's eyes, he is truly beautiful.
Some people were born with a thick skin; some developed it over time. Luca had been born with skin like paper, and a crystal heart. He took everything into himself and transformed it into raw emotion that shone and bled from him in this vivid kaleidoscope of colour. Every love, every loss, every joy, every hurt. 🥺🥀🥺
Luca the boy had been fragile, but Luca the man was completely broken. Lost. Hurting. Wounded, and struggling to cage all that unfettered emotion inside where he could protect it from others’ sharp touches—yet still it burst from him at every seam, desperate to be free. 💔🥀💔
“Why am I a cat now, and not your angel anymore?”
“You’re still my angel. You will always be angyalka.” Imre’s gaze softened. “But that doesn’t change that you’re stubborn and independent, fickle and ferocious, playful and petulant as a cat. You move like a cat. You’ve grown into yourself, and you stretch and slink into long limbs like a feline thing. Leggy and delicate.” 🫠🍀🫠
“This place…it stopped feeling like home, when you left. And now it feels like home again. That is what I see. Not a boy, but the man who makes Lohere feel like home.” 🥰🍀🥰
And for those who don't know the book yet and are wondering whether there is also sex ... yes, not much, but puuuuh so so hot, yummy!!!
He caught a growl in the back of his throat, once more cracking his eyes open, watching Luca with a sort of dazed, riveted wonder as Luca gave himself to what he was doing completely, closing his eyes and absorbing himself with breathy, hitching little mewls. The look on Luca’s face was almost more arousing than the heat of Luca’s mouth, and Imre watched transfixed as that glistening, full red mouth moved over his cock, pulling him into a steady, drawing rhythm that contracted and gripped around his length with maddening friction. 🤤🥵🤤
So after the slowest slow burn ever, at least that's how it feels, there's obviously a bit of melodrama because the two of them logically lack communication. You can see it coming for a long time until it finally happens. Fortunately, it's only a brief hiccup, which makes the reunion all the more beautiful.
And yes the ending is quite abrupt after that mass of slow pages, but I love this book far too much to be put off by it.
March 31, 2022
So, apart from my mardy comments about dry stone walls and tea versus supper, and the arctic type snowpocalypse which seemed to have descended on Imre's farm like a second ice age, this book is a gorgeous exploration of a relationship.
Cole McCade has such a beautiful command of language when it comes to evoking emotions and feelings, and this book is no different.
While I can't say - as a Yorkshire girl born and brought up literally on the doorstep of this book's setting (I live just a few miles further up the valley from Harrogate) that it felt particularly "Yorkshire-y" - it's still a detailed and fully realised slow burn May to December romance and farm life itself is depicted in a realistic fashion I recognised from my own days as a young agricultural reporter working in Wharfedale.
There's a lot of focus on Imre's heritage as a descendant of a Romany family - lots of them in Yorkshire's scattered communities who travel each year to the horse fair at Appleby in Cumbria - and it brings a heart to the story which I loved.
Luca took a bit to warm up to, he's a directionless 19-year-old when the story starts, packed off to his dad's best friend. who he hasn't seen for a decade.
But it quickly becomes clear that he's badly hurting by his parents' relationship failing and doesn't know how to deal with the emotional fallout.
Imre's goat farm provides a haven full of good memories from before life started to go wrong for Luca's family and I could feel my heart starting to break for him.
This is serious slow burn. Luca is in love with the man Imre is now, just as he was when he was a boy but there is a significant age difference between them. Nothing happens for more than half the book.
There's lots of UST and it's painfully clear neither of them quite knows how to move forward from friendship, and things are complicated by Imre's demisexuality. It was a bit frustrating but totally fit the narrative.
As the book unwinds, you get drawn more and more into this intensely focused story which is basically a double header of just Imre, Luca, the herd of goats and the battle with the elements (which was a tad extreme for Yorkshire, we've not had a winter that bad since about 1947 ;) ) as they struggle with feelings and the strenuous work of farming.
There's lots to love about this book and I suspect anyone who isn't a Yorkshire native like me won't be mithering (Yorkshire dialect there for complaining/moaning) over the little things.
They'll just be able to fully appreciate the ride and delight in a happy ending which really is beautifully crafted.
#ARC kindly provided by the author in return for an honest and unbiased review.
Cole McCade has such a beautiful command of language when it comes to evoking emotions and feelings, and this book is no different.
While I can't say - as a Yorkshire girl born and brought up literally on the doorstep of this book's setting (I live just a few miles further up the valley from Harrogate) that it felt particularly "Yorkshire-y" - it's still a detailed and fully realised slow burn May to December romance and farm life itself is depicted in a realistic fashion I recognised from my own days as a young agricultural reporter working in Wharfedale.
There's a lot of focus on Imre's heritage as a descendant of a Romany family - lots of them in Yorkshire's scattered communities who travel each year to the horse fair at Appleby in Cumbria - and it brings a heart to the story which I loved.
Luca took a bit to warm up to, he's a directionless 19-year-old when the story starts, packed off to his dad's best friend. who he hasn't seen for a decade.
But it quickly becomes clear that he's badly hurting by his parents' relationship failing and doesn't know how to deal with the emotional fallout.
Imre's goat farm provides a haven full of good memories from before life started to go wrong for Luca's family and I could feel my heart starting to break for him.
This is serious slow burn. Luca is in love with the man Imre is now, just as he was when he was a boy but there is a significant age difference between them. Nothing happens for more than half the book.
There's lots of UST and it's painfully clear neither of them quite knows how to move forward from friendship, and things are complicated by Imre's demisexuality. It was a bit frustrating but totally fit the narrative.
As the book unwinds, you get drawn more and more into this intensely focused story which is basically a double header of just Imre, Luca, the herd of goats and the battle with the elements (which was a tad extreme for Yorkshire, we've not had a winter that bad since about 1947 ;) ) as they struggle with feelings and the strenuous work of farming.
There's lots to love about this book and I suspect anyone who isn't a Yorkshire native like me won't be mithering (Yorkshire dialect there for complaining/moaning) over the little things.
They'll just be able to fully appreciate the ride and delight in a happy ending which really is beautifully crafted.
#ARC kindly provided by the author in return for an honest and unbiased review.
October 8, 2020
"You're the kindest, most honorable man I've ever met. You're practically a saint."
"Saints do not have the thoughts I have."
Age gap!! Imre is 46 and Luca is 20!!!
Cole McCade's Over and Over Again tested my patience and my limits. This book basically involves the probably slowest slow burn romance I have ever read. Almost 600 pages! A hefty book full of tension, romance, and pain between Imre Claybourne and Luca Ward. My biggest concern here would be the writing: I loved it but getting myself accustomed to it took so much of my time. As a thriller reader here and there, I wasn't really used to storytellings not being direct to the point and being straightforward. I just want for things to happen in quick succession. Obviously that didn't happen in this story. At the end of it all, I was so exhausted but happy for the reading experience.
"This place... it stopped feeling like home, when you left. And now it feels like home again. That is what I see. Not a boy, but the man who makes Lohere feel like home."
The writing made the romance and honestly the whole set up highly dreamy. Through the writing I can feel the emotions-the longing, the anger, fear, pain-in such high intensity. The story felt very vivid to me too. The characters were very likable as well even though at times I feel like smacking them. Funnily there were also those moments in this book that infuriated me: this push and pull between between these characters. I wanted to dive into this story most of the times to finally urge Imre to just do it. Overall, this was just amazing and gripping especially when the romance finally kicked in.
January 7, 2023
Re-read update:
Didn't love it as much the 2nd time around. A bit too slow, depends on my mood honestly. But I still love love love Imre... I want Imre... (if he wasn't gay :P)
Still 5 stars tho. Maybe 4.5 rounded up for the beautiful cover.
First read...
I really loved this book. The length was daunting and I admit to not reading every word, but the writing is lovely, as you can tell by all my highlights.
This is Luca:
Timothee Chalamet in "Call Me By Your Name" is the perfect Luca. Emotional, sensitive, mercurial. Luca's looks are never described in detail. Imre is much more described - beautiful mountain and lion of a man. But Luca is only "beautiful" maybe in a fragile, "cat-like" coltish sort of way. "Feather light" but not short.
This is Imre (very hard to find a man to do him justice!) The cover does pretty good tho
Just with longer hair. 6'6", hard and tanned, shelves of muscles, deep blue eyes... MEOW!!! Imre is 46 and DELICIOUS. GAH! I want him so bad!! Be my Daddy!!!!
Except, Imre isn't a "Daddy" he's the gentle giant. So sensitive and sweet and kind and patient. Reminds me of the "animal spirits" from Aja James' novels. Just PURE. He's what we call in modern times with all our labels a "demisexual" who doesn't want sex unless he can feel love. Who loves with everything he has, and therefore hurts so much more by the person he loves.
Imre didn't have sex until he was THIRTY-ONE!! And it sounds like he only had 2 at most 3 men in his life for brief periods of time.
Luca is a virgin at 20, which I really kinda liked. I'm glad that 2 pure, loving souls found each other, in a way waited for each other, and when they finally came together, it was worth all the waiting. Because it was simply right
This is a slow-burn. It does have sex, but it's not about that. It's not really a romance novel so much as a love story. It's my favorite kind of romance--a true love story
I'll be checking out this author's other books, but I can't imagine any other to surpass this one, now that my expectations are so high.
I'm just so glad I found this!!
Didn't love it as much the 2nd time around. A bit too slow, depends on my mood honestly. But I still love love love Imre... I want Imre... (if he wasn't gay :P)
Still 5 stars tho. Maybe 4.5 rounded up for the beautiful cover.
First read...
I really loved this book. The length was daunting and I admit to not reading every word, but the writing is lovely, as you can tell by all my highlights.
This is Luca:
Timothee Chalamet in "Call Me By Your Name" is the perfect Luca. Emotional, sensitive, mercurial. Luca's looks are never described in detail. Imre is much more described - beautiful mountain and lion of a man. But Luca is only "beautiful" maybe in a fragile, "cat-like" coltish sort of way. "Feather light" but not short.
This is Imre (very hard to find a man to do him justice!) The cover does pretty good tho
Just with longer hair. 6'6", hard and tanned, shelves of muscles, deep blue eyes... MEOW!!! Imre is 46 and DELICIOUS. GAH! I want him so bad!! Be my Daddy!!!!
Except, Imre isn't a "Daddy" he's the gentle giant. So sensitive and sweet and kind and patient. Reminds me of the "animal spirits" from Aja James' novels. Just PURE. He's what we call in modern times with all our labels a "demisexual" who doesn't want sex unless he can feel love. Who loves with everything he has, and therefore hurts so much more by the person he loves.
Imre didn't have sex until he was THIRTY-ONE!! And it sounds like he only had 2 at most 3 men in his life for brief periods of time.
Luca is a virgin at 20, which I really kinda liked. I'm glad that 2 pure, loving souls found each other, in a way waited for each other, and when they finally came together, it was worth all the waiting. Because it was simply right
This is a slow-burn. It does have sex, but it's not about that. It's not really a romance novel so much as a love story. It's my favorite kind of romance--a true love story
I'll be checking out this author's other books, but I can't imagine any other to surpass this one, now that my expectations are so high.
I'm just so glad I found this!!
May 5, 2025
For my GR friends who adored this I'm so sorry and I'll keep this brief 🤣🤣 (the audiobook for this was fabulous, I'll say that from the start)
Honestly, I can see and understand why people would love this book. I love McCades writing in the Criminal Intentions Series, and he has a gift for writing some fantastic romantic chemistry and some very tasty spicy scenes and the full scope of these skills are on display here. The writing was also incredibly romantic and whimsical, if you're in the mood for something a bit soft and lyrical.
There were just a few too many misalignments for my tastes unfortunately, and I failed to get swept up in the magic.
This was a cozy, slice of life, contemporary romance based in the English countryside on a goat farm, which is fine....but it clocked in at nearly 600 pages (or 17 hours on the audiobook) which was perhaps a bit too much for me given the small sandbox in which the story took place. I was about to tear my hair out with the need for them to sit down and communicate by the end of this. Heaven forbid two people just sit down and have a conversation lol.
I've also been exploring the boundaries of what my enjoyment of age gap romances can be and this one was probably a bit too much for me (Luca was 19/20 while Imra was 47). When this was coupled with McCades tendency to write his older characters as if he's never spoken to someone in their 30s or 40s before, it just always posed a mental barrier for me and my ability to slip into the story.
Fathers best friend isn't a trope I've ever really thought about or felt a particular draw to, so I was curious to give that a crack. Turns out it still doesn't really scratch my itch, but if all of the above sounds up your alley you'll probably love this.
I enjoy McCade as an author so, despite it not being quite right for me, I still enjoyed my time with it. And the fact that McCade could write an age gap of 27 years and have me still enjoy it really does speak to the quality of his character work.
I'm always glad to learn more about my own boundaries and what does and doesn't work for me, so I appreciate this book and really struggled to rate it cause I can easily see why some people would rate it 5 stars, but for me it's a 3.5 ✨
Honestly, I can see and understand why people would love this book. I love McCades writing in the Criminal Intentions Series, and he has a gift for writing some fantastic romantic chemistry and some very tasty spicy scenes and the full scope of these skills are on display here. The writing was also incredibly romantic and whimsical, if you're in the mood for something a bit soft and lyrical.
There were just a few too many misalignments for my tastes unfortunately, and I failed to get swept up in the magic.
This was a cozy, slice of life, contemporary romance based in the English countryside on a goat farm, which is fine....but it clocked in at nearly 600 pages (or 17 hours on the audiobook) which was perhaps a bit too much for me given the small sandbox in which the story took place. I was about to tear my hair out with the need for them to sit down and communicate by the end of this. Heaven forbid two people just sit down and have a conversation lol.
I've also been exploring the boundaries of what my enjoyment of age gap romances can be and this one was probably a bit too much for me (Luca was 19/20 while Imra was 47). When this was coupled with McCades tendency to write his older characters as if he's never spoken to someone in their 30s or 40s before, it just always posed a mental barrier for me and my ability to slip into the story.
Fathers best friend isn't a trope I've ever really thought about or felt a particular draw to, so I was curious to give that a crack. Turns out it still doesn't really scratch my itch, but if all of the above sounds up your alley you'll probably love this.
I enjoy McCade as an author so, despite it not being quite right for me, I still enjoyed my time with it. And the fact that McCade could write an age gap of 27 years and have me still enjoy it really does speak to the quality of his character work.
I'm always glad to learn more about my own boundaries and what does and doesn't work for me, so I appreciate this book and really struggled to rate it cause I can easily see why some people would rate it 5 stars, but for me it's a 3.5 ✨
March 22, 2024
Book safety, content warnings, and tropes down below. Excessive quotes warning.
He’d never been looked at in such a way before—as if he was something to be devoured, to be worshiped, to be loved, to be defiled.
This book is really special. I read the book over a year ago and finally got around to listening to the audiobook. Philip Alces did an incredible job with it. It’s a character-driven story with an eventual HEA that the characters have to work hard for.
I’d definitely call it a taboo story. There’s nearly a 27 year age gap and a power imbalance. Luca grew up calling the other MC ‘Unka Immie’, as in ‘Uncle Imre’. They’re not related by blood, but have to navigate how their relationship has evolved from a childish and friendly love to romantic love, and it’s not a smooth journey. It is however super beautiful, even with all the angst. It’s one of those books that makes me cry a lot because it’s written in a way where you feel like your heart is being squeezed in a vice every time the characters are hurting, which is often.
“Nothing isn’t better than something, Imre. I would live fifty years with the pain of losing you for just fifty days to have you.”
Neither character is perfect, and they are (understandably) unsure about how to navigate their situation. I read a lot of age gap books, especially kinky ones, where a large age gap doesn’t seem to be an issue at all, and this book feels very realistic in comparison.
This is still the only Cole McCade book I’ve read, but holy hell can he write. It’s one of those where you have to go back and reread certain phrases or rewind the audio, just to hear it again. Shoutout for writing amazing spice as well. There’s not a lot of it, but what’s there leaves an impact.
Imre leaned down, ghosting his mouth against Luca’s, and Luca strained into it even as he wondered how Imre couldn’t taste the stifled scream on his breaths, bottled up and waiting to break free.
⬇️ Blanket spoiler warning ⬇️
⚠️ Tropes & tags ⚠️
Large age gap
Demisexual MC
Family friend
Taboo
Pseudo-uncle
Silver fox
Sad and broken boy
Forced proximity
Slow burn
Virgin MC
Size difference
Farm setting
⚠️ Content warning ⚠️
Explicit sexual content
Sick farm animals (no death)
Self harm (not taking care of injuries, feels he ‘deserves it’)
Homophobic comments and slurs (past)
Power imbalance
⚠️Book safety ⚠️
Cheating: No
Other person drama: No
Breakup: Sort of, briefly
POV: 3rd person, dual
Genre: Contemporary romance
Pairing: M/M
Strict roles or versatile: Strict roles
Main characters’ age: 19/20 and 46
Series: Standalone
Kindle Unlimited: Yes
Pages: 596
Luca the boy had been fragile, but Luca the man was completely broken. Lost. Hurting. Wounded, and struggling to cage all that unfettered emotion inside where he could protect it from others’ sharp touches—yet still it burst from him at every seam, desperate to be free.
And there were few things more powerful, more sensual, Luca realized, than feeling desired by someone you loved.
“Do you still love them?” “In a way.” […] “The way you love a memory. Something that isn’t real anymore and can never be real again. It’s a fondness that belongs not to the person or thing, but the place they occupy in your history and the fingerprints they left on the glass walls of your heart.”
“[…] I’m only me when I’m with you, and when I’m with you I’m everything I want to be.”
You can find most of my reviews on Instagram as well: https://www.instagram.com/booksafety?...
He’d never been looked at in such a way before—as if he was something to be devoured, to be worshiped, to be loved, to be defiled.
This book is really special. I read the book over a year ago and finally got around to listening to the audiobook. Philip Alces did an incredible job with it. It’s a character-driven story with an eventual HEA that the characters have to work hard for.
I’d definitely call it a taboo story. There’s nearly a 27 year age gap and a power imbalance. Luca grew up calling the other MC ‘Unka Immie’, as in ‘Uncle Imre’. They’re not related by blood, but have to navigate how their relationship has evolved from a childish and friendly love to romantic love, and it’s not a smooth journey. It is however super beautiful, even with all the angst. It’s one of those books that makes me cry a lot because it’s written in a way where you feel like your heart is being squeezed in a vice every time the characters are hurting, which is often.
“Nothing isn’t better than something, Imre. I would live fifty years with the pain of losing you for just fifty days to have you.”
Neither character is perfect, and they are (understandably) unsure about how to navigate their situation. I read a lot of age gap books, especially kinky ones, where a large age gap doesn’t seem to be an issue at all, and this book feels very realistic in comparison.
This is still the only Cole McCade book I’ve read, but holy hell can he write. It’s one of those where you have to go back and reread certain phrases or rewind the audio, just to hear it again. Shoutout for writing amazing spice as well. There’s not a lot of it, but what’s there leaves an impact.
Imre leaned down, ghosting his mouth against Luca’s, and Luca strained into it even as he wondered how Imre couldn’t taste the stifled scream on his breaths, bottled up and waiting to break free.
⬇️ Blanket spoiler warning ⬇️
⚠️ Tropes & tags ⚠️
Large age gap
Demisexual MC
Family friend
Taboo
Pseudo-uncle
Silver fox
Sad and broken boy
Forced proximity
Slow burn
Virgin MC
Size difference
Farm setting
⚠️ Content warning ⚠️
Explicit sexual content
Sick farm animals (no death)
Self harm (not taking care of injuries, feels he ‘deserves it’)
Homophobic comments and slurs (past)
Power imbalance
⚠️Book safety ⚠️
Cheating: No
Other person drama: No
Breakup: Sort of, briefly
POV: 3rd person, dual
Genre: Contemporary romance
Pairing: M/M
Strict roles or versatile: Strict roles
Main characters’ age: 19/20 and 46
Series: Standalone
Kindle Unlimited: Yes
Pages: 596
Luca the boy had been fragile, but Luca the man was completely broken. Lost. Hurting. Wounded, and struggling to cage all that unfettered emotion inside where he could protect it from others’ sharp touches—yet still it burst from him at every seam, desperate to be free.
And there were few things more powerful, more sensual, Luca realized, than feeling desired by someone you loved.
“Do you still love them?” “In a way.” […] “The way you love a memory. Something that isn’t real anymore and can never be real again. It’s a fondness that belongs not to the person or thing, but the place they occupy in your history and the fingerprints they left on the glass walls of your heart.”
“[…] I’m only me when I’m with you, and when I’m with you I’m everything I want to be.”
You can find most of my reviews on Instagram as well: https://www.instagram.com/booksafety?...
December 6, 2022
This book is everything, worthy of every star. Beautifully written, emotional storyline, rich & complex characters… massive book hangover. This will be read over & over 💗💗
September 8, 2020
4.25 Stars
What a lovely story. Also I simply must demand that everyone takes a moment to enlarge that cover and just look at it, because seriously. What a freaking beautiful man 😍
A bit of coming-into-adulthood, that transition when you look at the adults in your life and start seeing them as people, humans with their own flaws and short comings.
A confusing time all in all and Luca Ward is seeped in confused anger. Nineteen years old, defensive, skittish and snarling at everything as he tries to cope with the pains of adulthood.
And here is the man, that at five years old he had looked upon with so much love and prophesied their marriage when he was grown like his parents.
Imre Claybourne, forty-six, best friend to Luca's father, Romani descent. A gentle and kind giant. His life is a lonesome one, a life that revolves around his farm. Luca Ward brings with him the feel of home he hadn't realized was missing. Alters his quiet existence.
Their love story is very lovely.
Cole McCade has a way with descriptions. Their simple life caring for the land and its farm animals. Weathering the winter blizzard. Drinking apple bear by the fire. Dancing to Justin Bieber lol. It's all beautiful, intimate but I won't deny what prevented this from being 5 star is the fact that there is such a thing as too much beauty. I found myself skimming some of the descriptions because there is only so much I want to know about the scenery and livestock. Personally too much flowery prose makes it hard for gems to stand out.🤷🏽♀️
I will say this is the best kind of slow burn. The mc's are together the entire time, being intimate and overcoming the hurdles that come with the familial ties and the age gap. The lack of separation makes the slow burn bearable.
I'm glad I read this, though I am feeling a bit like I was on the edge of something wonderful but didn't quite get there. This one of those stories I have to really be in the mood for to enjoy. It's a quiet, languid story that's simplistic in its beauty.
What a lovely story. Also I simply must demand that everyone takes a moment to enlarge that cover and just look at it, because seriously. What a freaking beautiful man 😍
A bit of coming-into-adulthood, that transition when you look at the adults in your life and start seeing them as people, humans with their own flaws and short comings.
A confusing time all in all and Luca Ward is seeped in confused anger. Nineteen years old, defensive, skittish and snarling at everything as he tries to cope with the pains of adulthood.
And here is the man, that at five years old he had looked upon with so much love and prophesied their marriage when he was grown like his parents.
Imre Claybourne, forty-six, best friend to Luca's father, Romani descent. A gentle and kind giant. His life is a lonesome one, a life that revolves around his farm. Luca Ward brings with him the feel of home he hadn't realized was missing. Alters his quiet existence.
Their love story is very lovely.
Cole McCade has a way with descriptions. Their simple life caring for the land and its farm animals. Weathering the winter blizzard. Drinking apple bear by the fire. Dancing to Justin Bieber lol. It's all beautiful, intimate but I won't deny what prevented this from being 5 star is the fact that there is such a thing as too much beauty. I found myself skimming some of the descriptions because there is only so much I want to know about the scenery and livestock. Personally too much flowery prose makes it hard for gems to stand out.🤷🏽♀️
I will say this is the best kind of slow burn. The mc's are together the entire time, being intimate and overcoming the hurdles that come with the familial ties and the age gap. The lack of separation makes the slow burn bearable.
I'm glad I read this, though I am feeling a bit like I was on the edge of something wonderful but didn't quite get there. This one of those stories I have to really be in the mood for to enjoy. It's a quiet, languid story that's simplistic in its beauty.
April 29, 2025
This was everything I had hoped it would be and more 😭 My goodness it was stunning! A beautiful story start to finish. It was more than just a story though, it was a journey. A journey of self-discovery, self-acceptance, and love 🥰 It's one of those books that you experience with the characters. It's like you're living life along with them, feeling time pass and unfold before you while the memories write themselves on your heart 🥹
At first glance, the age gap seems extreme and maybe a bit taboo given that Imre had known Luca since he was a small child, but nothing about how the book played out came across as such. Everything felt very much like a natural progression of their connection with nothing untoward happening while Luca was underage. In fact, the two hadn't even seen each other for around a decade prior to Luca coming to stay with Imre (if I remember correctly). The two quickly reforged their long dormant bond and the rest was history 💙
Over and Over Again is one of those books that will stick with me for a long time. It's a book I will come back to time and time again to warm my heart and make my soul happy 😌 The audio was fabulous and I never wanted it to end. Seventeen hours weren't nearly enough. I wanted to stay in Luca and Imre's world and never leave 🫶🏻
At first glance, the age gap seems extreme and maybe a bit taboo given that Imre had known Luca since he was a small child, but nothing about how the book played out came across as such. Everything felt very much like a natural progression of their connection with nothing untoward happening while Luca was underage. In fact, the two hadn't even seen each other for around a decade prior to Luca coming to stay with Imre (if I remember correctly). The two quickly reforged their long dormant bond and the rest was history 💙
Over and Over Again is one of those books that will stick with me for a long time. It's a book I will come back to time and time again to warm my heart and make my soul happy 😌 The audio was fabulous and I never wanted it to end. Seventeen hours weren't nearly enough. I wanted to stay in Luca and Imre's world and never leave 🫶🏻
March 30, 2022
Audio - 5 ++ Stars
Story - 4.25 Slow and Sensual Stars
I feel into a lull at times whiles listening to this story. Not because it was boring, but because both the writing and the narrator's performance were incredibly SOOTHING.
Story - 4.25 Slow and Sensual Stars
I feel into a lull at times whiles listening to this story. Not because it was boring, but because both the writing and the narrator's performance were incredibly SOOTHING.
July 23, 2018
It’s no secret I love Cole McCade’s writing and this time is no different as he brings us a deliciously sweet leading into sexy romance involving a gentle-natured, silver-fox demisexual goat farmer, and a frustrated younger man who has lost his way a little.
Am I allowed to want you the way you want me? Even a little?”
Imre’s and Luca’s journey is without question slower burn; something I loved, as not only is it in keeping with the fact Imre is demisexual, but it creates build-up and tension as both he and Luca navigate their way through their developing feelings, giving you the chance to get to know them in every sense.
I’m only me when I’m with you, and when I’m with you I’m everything I want to be.”
Naturally for me being from Yorkshire, the setting brought familiar feels from the scenery and snowy 2010-like winter, to the farmers markets and Sheffield Station which does indeed have a ”giant fucking urinal of a fountain”. But all this is simply the backdrop to what is a love story between two men who may have many years separating them, but cannot deny that the heart wants what the heart wants.
Imre...you take my breath away.”
Over and Over Again leaves footprints on your heart and if that’s not enough, there’s an abundance of cute courtesy of Imre’s goats. So in true Yorkshire style, get yer sen off an go an grab yer sen a reyt crackin’ read. Or translated, go and check out this wonderful story for yourself. I doubt you’ll regret it.
Copy generously provided by the author.
Am I allowed to want you the way you want me? Even a little?”
Imre’s and Luca’s journey is without question slower burn; something I loved, as not only is it in keeping with the fact Imre is demisexual, but it creates build-up and tension as both he and Luca navigate their way through their developing feelings, giving you the chance to get to know them in every sense.
I’m only me when I’m with you, and when I’m with you I’m everything I want to be.”
Naturally for me being from Yorkshire, the setting brought familiar feels from the scenery and snowy 2010-like winter, to the farmers markets and Sheffield Station which does indeed have a ”giant fucking urinal of a fountain”. But all this is simply the backdrop to what is a love story between two men who may have many years separating them, but cannot deny that the heart wants what the heart wants.
Imre...you take my breath away.”
Over and Over Again leaves footprints on your heart and if that’s not enough, there’s an abundance of cute courtesy of Imre’s goats. So in true Yorkshire style, get yer sen off an go an grab yer sen a reyt crackin’ read. Or translated, go and check out this wonderful story for yourself. I doubt you’ll regret it.
Copy generously provided by the author.
March 31, 2022
One of my favorite age gap stories....
I have been waiting for the audio for so long. .
I'll be honest: When I saw that it was Philip Alces doing telhe audio I was a bit hesitant. I don't really likenhis narrations.
Needless to say, he proved me wrong and did really well with this audio. His narration of Imre was spot on for me. The accent work was GREAT!
As for the book:
Cole McCade certainly has a way with words. His dreamy-like use of the english language snares me everytime. The beauty of his imagery is just amazing. The emotions he gives his characters is spectacular. I can go on and on about his writing talent and it still wouldn't enough.
Imre is the perfect man. Compassionate, sturdy and steady, loves with his whole heart and so damn perfect he took my breath away.
Luca was beautiful in his accurate portrayal of his age. He was unapologetically himself. I loved how his layers were peeled pne ny one: from the defiant teen to the responsibile sensitive young man who loved with his whole heart.
The Romance in this book is seamless and beautiful. The connection is there from the minute they see each other again and it just grows as the time passes.
The steam: low-medium steam which was so sensual even if it wasn't overly explicit.
The angst: I'd sah it's a lowish angst book...mostly stemming from the taboo-ish nature of their relationship: Father's Best Friend and 20+ age gap. There is a push and pull in this situation but nothing that feels too OTT.
The HEA: Perfect 🥰
I have been waiting for the audio for so long. .
I'll be honest: When I saw that it was Philip Alces doing telhe audio I was a bit hesitant. I don't really likenhis narrations.
Needless to say, he proved me wrong and did really well with this audio. His narration of Imre was spot on for me. The accent work was GREAT!
As for the book:
Cole McCade certainly has a way with words. His dreamy-like use of the english language snares me everytime. The beauty of his imagery is just amazing. The emotions he gives his characters is spectacular. I can go on and on about his writing talent and it still wouldn't enough.
Imre is the perfect man. Compassionate, sturdy and steady, loves with his whole heart and so damn perfect he took my breath away.
Luca was beautiful in his accurate portrayal of his age. He was unapologetically himself. I loved how his layers were peeled pne ny one: from the defiant teen to the responsibile sensitive young man who loved with his whole heart.
The Romance in this book is seamless and beautiful. The connection is there from the minute they see each other again and it just grows as the time passes.
The steam: low-medium steam which was so sensual even if it wasn't overly explicit.
The angst: I'd sah it's a lowish angst book...mostly stemming from the taboo-ish nature of their relationship: Father's Best Friend and 20+ age gap. There is a push and pull in this situation but nothing that feels too OTT.
The HEA: Perfect 🥰
February 27, 2020
*4,5 stars*
Beautiful. Breath-taking. Brilliant.
Imre is 46. Luca’s 19, turning 20.
That’s what I call an age gap.
Tbh, I wasn’t quite sure whether I would be convinced that this could work.
There is virtually a lifetime between these two men. A generation. With different views and values.
But this is Cole McCade.
He knows how to write deeply complex and unusual characters and to explore the depths of feelings.
And he does so in his inimitable style: with beautiful lyrical words and carefully detailed descriptions, be it anguish and pain, joy and happiness or 'simply' the intensity of a snowstorm.
I was intrigued, charmed and totally captivated.
Not even talking about the sensuality and intimacy of the sex between Imre and Luca (when they actually get there). I’ll never forget that scene in the bath. So beautiful and touching.
This book is purely relationship based. This is about Imre and Luca. Full stop.
And how they very, very slowly find a way to be together.
The UST is off the charts.
So are Imre’s guilt and fears. And Luca’s insecurities and desperation to be loved.
I felt so much for both men.
And wondered for most of the book how on earth this could end and how matters with Marco, Luca’s father, would be resolved. It worked out maybe a tad too easily for me. I would have liked more there. And I could probably point out a couple of niggles, but in the end, these don’t matter.
This book touched my heart. Big time.
(And holy moly - THAT cover!)
And for those who read Criminal Intentions by Cole -
Beautiful. Breath-taking. Brilliant.
Imre is 46. Luca’s 19, turning 20.
That’s what I call an age gap.
Tbh, I wasn’t quite sure whether I would be convinced that this could work.
There is virtually a lifetime between these two men. A generation. With different views and values.
But this is Cole McCade.
He knows how to write deeply complex and unusual characters and to explore the depths of feelings.
And he does so in his inimitable style: with beautiful lyrical words and carefully detailed descriptions, be it anguish and pain, joy and happiness or 'simply' the intensity of a snowstorm.
I was intrigued, charmed and totally captivated.
Not even talking about the sensuality and intimacy of the sex between Imre and Luca (when they actually get there). I’ll never forget that scene in the bath. So beautiful and touching.
This book is purely relationship based. This is about Imre and Luca. Full stop.
And how they very, very slowly find a way to be together.
The UST is off the charts.
So are Imre’s guilt and fears. And Luca’s insecurities and desperation to be loved.
I felt so much for both men.
And wondered for most of the book how on earth this could end and how matters with Marco, Luca’s father, would be resolved. It worked out maybe a tad too easily for me. I would have liked more there. And I could probably point out a couple of niggles, but in the end, these don’t matter.
This book touched my heart. Big time.
(And holy moly - THAT cover!)
And for those who read Criminal Intentions by Cole -
April 10, 2021
3.5 🌟 This was a romantic book, quiet, slow. So slow. Not much happens, other than farm work, and Luca and Emre slowly falling in love. Or were they already in love? They adored each other when Luca was a child, but haven’t seen each other in ten years. I loved Luca. He was so lost. Lonely. He fell hard and fast for Emre. Emre quickly became everything.
Emre? I feel like I read a different book from everyone else. I didn’t feel his feelings. I don’t understand how he could start a casual relationship with Luca to avoid his father finding out, when Luca was so obviously in love with him. I didn’t buy his reasoning of not wanting to lock Luca in for a life with an old man. Then don’t sleep with him. Don’t send mixed messages. Don’t break his heart. Talk to him. Ugh. I normally adore age gap romances, especially father’s best friend, or best friend’s father. But here I felt that the power balance in the relationship was way off.
I also don’t understand Emre and Marco’s relationship. Best friends who haven’t seen each other in ten years? Emre knows nothing about Marco’s life and relationship, yet Marco is sending his son to live with him? It made no sense to me. They didn’t even seem to live far from each other, so why the distance? And why didn’t Marco ever call or text Emre or Luca?
It was also at times too slow, too frustrating, too long, too many descriptions. I skimmed here and there.
I really liked it but I didn’t love it. The last 10% made up for a lot of my frustrations, as it got really emotional and things were finally happening. Although I was unsatisfied with the epilogue. I wanted more of them, further in the future maybe. I don’t know. 🤷♀️
Wow. That was a lot longer that I intended. I’m sorry.
Emre? I feel like I read a different book from everyone else. I didn’t feel his feelings. I don’t understand how he could start a casual relationship with Luca to avoid his father finding out, when Luca was so obviously in love with him. I didn’t buy his reasoning of not wanting to lock Luca in for a life with an old man. Then don’t sleep with him. Don’t send mixed messages. Don’t break his heart. Talk to him. Ugh. I normally adore age gap romances, especially father’s best friend, or best friend’s father. But here I felt that the power balance in the relationship was way off.
I also don’t understand Emre and Marco’s relationship. Best friends who haven’t seen each other in ten years? Emre knows nothing about Marco’s life and relationship, yet Marco is sending his son to live with him? It made no sense to me. They didn’t even seem to live far from each other, so why the distance? And why didn’t Marco ever call or text Emre or Luca?
It was also at times too slow, too frustrating, too long, too many descriptions. I skimmed here and there.
I really liked it but I didn’t love it. The last 10% made up for a lot of my frustrations, as it got really emotional and things were finally happening. Although I was unsatisfied with the epilogue. I wanted more of them, further in the future maybe. I don’t know. 🤷♀️
Wow. That was a lot longer that I intended. I’m sorry.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 18, 2025
Reread April 2025
I simply cannot get over the perfection that is this book. It’s even better the second time around. You know it’s a good audio when you look at the remaining time and are like ‘oh no, only 7 more hours left 😱’
100%, one of my favourites of all times, maybe even top 3. Gorgeous through and through. Wouldn’t change one single word.
This time my fav scene was where Imre finally snaps and they’re going to fuck and he’s counting how many times Luca will say his name 🥵🥵
I’d even say that this is the best sex scene I’ve ever read. Hands down.
————————————————————————-
Original review:
And that, my friends, is how you write a freakin’ slow-burn 🔥
This was… incredible.
First, the setting.
It was pure vibes: the farm in the middle of nowhere and the landscape of the Yorkshire Dales surrounding it, the winter storms and fireplaces, the animals in and out of the barn, the farmhouse with its creaking fifth step, the smells of apple pies, woodsmoke, lava soap and honeysuckle. Pure. Vibes.
Second, the writing.
It was utterly beautiful: you could see, feel, hear, smell everything in intricate detail without the descriptions getting boring at all. On the contrary, they made me feel like I was right there with them, in the living room on the couch, while the storm was raging outside; in the barn or fields with the goats and caring for them; in the orchard picking apples, in the kitchen huddled around a warm meal.
And third, the two MCs.
Wow. I wasn’t sure in the beginning how I would handle the rather large age gap and the once pseudo-familial connection between the two. And it took some getting used to, ngl, but the further the story developed, the less uneasy I felt about it until the feeling dissolved completely after about the first third of the book.
But because of the age gap and the fact that Imre is Luca‘s father’s best friend, this was a forbidden romance. So the pining, the tension, the LONGING and the attempts at fighting these feelings was a huge part of the slow burn. But when they finally gave in? Little by little? Touch by innocent touch and kiss by kiss? Ooooh boy 😮💨
I mean I’ve read intimacy in hundreds of books and by hundreds of authors, but never like this. Never this poetic, this all encompassing, this EMOTIONAL, where my heart beat out of my chest right along theirs.
This is one big book with almost 600 pages but I flew through it, switching between audio (the narrator was amazing btw) and kindle, being utterly captivated by the bright, euphoric love between Luca and Imre.
I know I’ll come back to this story again and again, it was just that good.
Thank you Reem, for this incredible recommendation, keep’em coming 💕
I simply cannot get over the perfection that is this book. It’s even better the second time around. You know it’s a good audio when you look at the remaining time and are like ‘oh no, only 7 more hours left 😱’
100%, one of my favourites of all times, maybe even top 3. Gorgeous through and through. Wouldn’t change one single word.
This time my fav scene was where Imre finally snaps and they’re going to fuck and he’s counting how many times Luca will say his name 🥵🥵
I’d even say that this is the best sex scene I’ve ever read. Hands down.
“No distractions,” Imre purred, nuzzling the curve of Luca’s ear, breaths rough and broken. “Nothing but this. I want you to feel me in you. Every moment of it, angyalka.”
“Ah—ah, Imre!”
“Ten.” Imre’s sigh was soft, contented, so deeply pleasured, erotic. “Stay with me, my angel.”
And then he tore Luca’s world apart.
🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐
’Imre hadn’t waited because he didn’t want Luca. Instead, Imre had waited to savour the pleasure of wanting Luca more and more. He’d never been looked at in such a way before—as if he was something to be devoured, to be worshiped, to be loved, to be defiled.
As if he was the heart that made the blood flow in Imre’s veins; as if he was the breath that filled his lungs.
As if he was beautiful. As if he was everything.’
🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐
“Nothing isn’t better than something, Imre. I would live fifty years with the pain of losing you for just fifty days to have you.”
🥹😭♥️
————————————————————————-
Original review:
And that, my friends, is how you write a freakin’ slow-burn 🔥
This was… incredible.
First, the setting.
It was pure vibes: the farm in the middle of nowhere and the landscape of the Yorkshire Dales surrounding it, the winter storms and fireplaces, the animals in and out of the barn, the farmhouse with its creaking fifth step, the smells of apple pies, woodsmoke, lava soap and honeysuckle. Pure. Vibes.
Second, the writing.
It was utterly beautiful: you could see, feel, hear, smell everything in intricate detail without the descriptions getting boring at all. On the contrary, they made me feel like I was right there with them, in the living room on the couch, while the storm was raging outside; in the barn or fields with the goats and caring for them; in the orchard picking apples, in the kitchen huddled around a warm meal.
And third, the two MCs.
Wow. I wasn’t sure in the beginning how I would handle the rather large age gap and the once pseudo-familial connection between the two. And it took some getting used to, ngl, but the further the story developed, the less uneasy I felt about it until the feeling dissolved completely after about the first third of the book.
But because of the age gap and the fact that Imre is Luca‘s father’s best friend, this was a forbidden romance. So the pining, the tension, the LONGING and the attempts at fighting these feelings was a huge part of the slow burn. But when they finally gave in? Little by little? Touch by innocent touch and kiss by kiss? Ooooh boy 😮💨
I mean I’ve read intimacy in hundreds of books and by hundreds of authors, but never like this. Never this poetic, this all encompassing, this EMOTIONAL, where my heart beat out of my chest right along theirs.
This is one big book with almost 600 pages but I flew through it, switching between audio (the narrator was amazing btw) and kindle, being utterly captivated by the bright, euphoric love between Luca and Imre.
I know I’ll come back to this story again and again, it was just that good.
Thank you Reem, for this incredible recommendation, keep’em coming 💕
‘I’m only me when I’m with you, and when I’m with you I’m everything I want to be.’
July 23, 2018
An ultimate friendship - a deep-rooted love, wrapped in soft silk like a precious treasure.
This way of writing is just superlative. The love is deeper, the tension intenser, the snow whiter, the grass greener, an all-consuming love story with details that touched my heart like electric sparkles and stopped my breath more than once.
Luca, nineteen years old, came back to the goat farm after ten years.
Imre a silver fox, Luca’s parents best friend, lives there alone and runs the farm. Luca promised Imre, as a young boy, that he would always love him.
He has to stay at the farm for several months, a decision made by his parents, because of a rebellion action. He just doesn’t want a third parent... and Imre.. just wants to be there for Luca.
The strength Imre had was impressive because how could he ever resist the beautiful young Luca with his green eyes and full lips, it was almost impossible. The longing and yearning, intense, warm and touching, the slow-burn is almost unbearable
Several times there came an answer where I totally forgot the question, because of the absorbing sentences between them.
Excellent written love story with a large vocabulary and every line is just reaching sky high.
Deeply sensitive, deeply moving story, sometimes my heart cracked and sometimes it swelled out of my chest. Every scene was delightful, fragile, tempting, enticing and unbelievable powerful. The story had a beautiful way of putting down the essence of demisexuality.
Consistent personalities and well developed. All the wonderful activities around the farm were very varied and enjoyable.
“Nothing isn’t better than something”
Highly recommended story in which I can’t find any downside.
Kindly received an arc from the author
This way of writing is just superlative. The love is deeper, the tension intenser, the snow whiter, the grass greener, an all-consuming love story with details that touched my heart like electric sparkles and stopped my breath more than once.
Luca, nineteen years old, came back to the goat farm after ten years.
Imre a silver fox, Luca’s parents best friend, lives there alone and runs the farm. Luca promised Imre, as a young boy, that he would always love him.
He has to stay at the farm for several months, a decision made by his parents, because of a rebellion action. He just doesn’t want a third parent... and Imre.. just wants to be there for Luca.
The strength Imre had was impressive because how could he ever resist the beautiful young Luca with his green eyes and full lips, it was almost impossible. The longing and yearning, intense, warm and touching, the slow-burn is almost unbearable
Several times there came an answer where I totally forgot the question, because of the absorbing sentences between them.
Excellent written love story with a large vocabulary and every line is just reaching sky high.
Deeply sensitive, deeply moving story, sometimes my heart cracked and sometimes it swelled out of my chest. Every scene was delightful, fragile, tempting, enticing and unbelievable powerful. The story had a beautiful way of putting down the essence of demisexuality.
Consistent personalities and well developed. All the wonderful activities around the farm were very varied and enjoyable.
“Nothing isn’t better than something”
Highly recommended story in which I can’t find any downside.
Kindly received an arc from the author
May 25, 2024
dnf 38%
I don’t think it’s a story for me, it’s just so exhausting and nothing is really happening here. It’s six hundred pages long and most chapters are about them taking care of the ranch or the animals. The age gap — 19 and 46 also makes me a little bit uncomfortable, especially when Imre calls Luca 'boy'.
I don’t think it’s a story for me, it’s just so exhausting and nothing is really happening here. It’s six hundred pages long and most chapters are about them taking care of the ranch or the animals. The age gap — 19 and 46 also makes me a little bit uncomfortable, especially when Imre calls Luca 'boy'.
Want to read
April 28, 2018Dear Lord!!!! look at the unedited photo of the model from this cover!
https://twitter.com/thisblackmagic/st...
https://twitter.com/thisblackmagic/st...
dnf
August 2, 2018DNF at 30%
I liked this. Now, that's a bit strange to say about a book I DNF, but I really did like the pretty descriptions about the landscape, the isolated feeling of the goat farm, the characters, pretty much everything.
But... this book is long. And while I love long books, I just read a review where someone mentions miscommunication up til 80%. These guys apparently never talk about their feelings. And that means I have hours to go before they do open up to each other. And I like my men to talk, not keep quiet because they both assume things about the other one, but never confirm this with each other.
Too bad, because I did like it.
I liked this. Now, that's a bit strange to say about a book I DNF, but I really did like the pretty descriptions about the landscape, the isolated feeling of the goat farm, the characters, pretty much everything.
But... this book is long. And while I love long books, I just read a review where someone mentions miscommunication up til 80%. These guys apparently never talk about their feelings. And that means I have hours to go before they do open up to each other. And I like my men to talk, not keep quiet because they both assume things about the other one, but never confirm this with each other.
Too bad, because I did like it.
September 7, 2020
4.5 stars. I’ve had this in my tbr since I first discovered Cole McCade’s books though I have to confess, the page count is what made me keep putting it off. In the end, that page count didn’t matter in the least.
However, if you’re into immediate gratification, you’re going to be disappointed. This is a very slow burn romance but when it finally happens, it’s more than worth the wait. I still loved the time spent on the development of the relationship because I loved both Imre and Luca. I loved the farm and the day to day running if it and how the work allowed Luca to grow, finding his way to being his own person.
The writing was wonderful, as with everything else I’ve read by CMcC. And my Lord, does this author know how to write sex! It’s so damn sensual and hot enough to melt you to your seat but more than that, the intimacy is off the chart. Unreal.
It wasn’t a perfect book but it was damn good and one I couldn’t put down.
However, if you’re into immediate gratification, you’re going to be disappointed. This is a very slow burn romance but when it finally happens, it’s more than worth the wait. I still loved the time spent on the development of the relationship because I loved both Imre and Luca. I loved the farm and the day to day running if it and how the work allowed Luca to grow, finding his way to being his own person.
The writing was wonderful, as with everything else I’ve read by CMcC. And my Lord, does this author know how to write sex! It’s so damn sensual and hot enough to melt you to your seat but more than that, the intimacy is off the chart. Unreal.
It wasn’t a perfect book but it was damn good and one I couldn’t put down.
May 11, 2025
I have no words. Beautiful, raw af, amazing characters, so much longing. I might have wanted to slap both of them a few times, but oh well.
The farm life made for a cosy background I really loved. The rest was pure emotion and beautiful prose.
The farm life made for a cosy background I really loved. The rest was pure emotion and beautiful prose.
August 19, 2022
This story had the feel of an old 1960's m/f French film. (Although this book is m/m) The forbitten age gap, the yearning, the angst. There is an almost 27 year age-gap that was uncomfortable at times, mostly because Imre helped (in part) raise Luka for many years.
When Luka was a child, he lived with his mother, father and his father's best friend, Imre. When he was just a little boy he told Imre that he loved him and would marry him when he was older.
Fast forward, Luka (19) is a bit of a shit. He gets in loads of trouble after crashing his father's motorcycle. His father sends him to work on the farm with Imre for a few months. Luka hasn't seen Imre since he was ten, and all his childhood feelings come rushing back.
Imre instantly sees both the boy he once knew, and the young man who carries so much anger.
What didn't fit this story was the abrupt way everything is handled with Luka's father. I can't think of any parent that would be fine with the situation (and especially the position) after only a brief conversation. Over time, yes, but not ten minutes later. Still, the gorgeous writing deserves at least four stars.
When Luka was a child, he lived with his mother, father and his father's best friend, Imre. When he was just a little boy he told Imre that he loved him and would marry him when he was older.
Fast forward, Luka (19) is a bit of a shit. He gets in loads of trouble after crashing his father's motorcycle. His father sends him to work on the farm with Imre for a few months. Luka hasn't seen Imre since he was ten, and all his childhood feelings come rushing back.
Imre instantly sees both the boy he once knew, and the young man who carries so much anger.
He was in so many ways a stranger to Imre now; the boy he had been, that child who’d followed Imre everywhere, wasn’t in this young man who moved as though his body were made of music and laughter, who carried his hurts inside as if they were jewels to be hoarded, small and shining things that belonged to him and only him.This story is gorgeous. Beautiful and lyrical, but it was also a serious SLOW BURN. Not much happens for pages and pages. Which makes the title kinda appropriate. It's mostly about goat farming, goat breeding, apple picking, and riding horses. The love story was beautiful, but took such a long and meandering path to get there.
What didn't fit this story was the abrupt way everything is handled with Luka's father. I can't think of any parent that would be fine with the situation (and especially the position) after only a brief conversation. Over time, yes, but not ten minutes later. Still, the gorgeous writing deserves at least four stars.
June 29, 2018
Age-gap books are quite tricky to write about; especially with the type of gap that exists in this story between Luca & Imre but I believe Cole pulled it off flawlessly & effortlessly. It was a joy to read.
One of the things I adore about this author is how evocative & lyrical his writing is. Even with the huge page count of this book, the writing made it so that the story flowed seamlessly from start to finish and at no point did it feel too dragged out.
I loved loved loved my kind, gentle, loveable, sometimes exceedingly frustrating Imre and loved my hot headed, occasionally prickly, fragile and sensitive Luca. Admittedly,Luca’s antics sometimes got to me but ultimately, I came to understand the fact that he just yearned for a sense of permanence and unconditional love which had seemed so far out of reach for most of his life.
Overall, you know what this book did to me? Everything. It did everything to me.
It made me laugh, made me sad,made me soooo frustrated but ultimately made me so incredibly happy for Luca , Imre and their HEA they fought so damn hard for. Those two more than deserved it.
~~eARC Graciously Provided By Author In Exchange For An Honest, Unbiased Review ~~
One of the things I adore about this author is how evocative & lyrical his writing is. Even with the huge page count of this book, the writing made it so that the story flowed seamlessly from start to finish and at no point did it feel too dragged out.
I loved loved loved my kind, gentle, loveable, sometimes exceedingly frustrating Imre and loved my hot headed, occasionally prickly, fragile and sensitive Luca. Admittedly,Luca’s antics sometimes got to me but ultimately, I came to understand the fact that he just yearned for a sense of permanence and unconditional love which had seemed so far out of reach for most of his life.
Overall, you know what this book did to me? Everything. It did everything to me.
It made me laugh, made me sad,made me soooo frustrated but ultimately made me so incredibly happy for Luca , Imre and their HEA they fought so damn hard for. Those two more than deserved it.
~~eARC Graciously Provided By Author In Exchange For An Honest, Unbiased Review ~~
December 6, 2022
12/6/2022 - I just saw this is $3.99 on Chirp right now!
3/27/2022 - Updated review for the audiobook.
3/22/2022 - Praise the audio gods and Cole McCade, there’s an audiobook! Released today. Totally rearranging my TBL for this. Ahhhhhhhh!!!!! 💗
Updated July 2021 b/c I read this at least once a year.
First. This cover! Gorgeous!
This stand alone was a loooong book – but Imre & Luca were worth it. Cole McCade weaves a beautiful story with so much detail that I’m fully immersed in this world. At first, it feels a little daunting, perhaps overwhelming, and I’m worried that I’m about to be drowned by someone who is just dumping words on the page. But there’s purpose and meaning and heart to his prose. The farm almost becomes its own character. I feel like I’m living at Lohere (and frankly never want to leave).
I really enjoy age gap romance, however I admit to being a little worried with this one. Imre being a family friend and knowing Luca since he was 5. A twenty six year age difference. However, I think by giving the characters 10 years without seeing each other and by having them spend months together learning who they are as adults, McCade removed anything that could have felt creepy about it. Luca, while young, turns 20 and is a full grown adult.
There’s definitely a slow burn here. When Imre & Luca finally come together it’s absolutely beautiful. Not without troubles. There was some angst and I found myself in tears at a few points, however it was a necessary emotional maturing and miscommunications that made sense for the characters. Lovely HEA and I’m a big fan of the epilogue.
Narration:
I loved this book so much and was simultaneously thrilled it was coming to audio and worried it wouldn’t live up to my expectations. Instead, I wish there was some way to give this more than the five stars I had when I read it. Philip Alces exceeded my wildest expectations on bringing Luca & Imre to life. They are exactly how I imagined them and at the same time so much more. The personalities, accents, and the emotions were perfection. I soaked up this narration and know that this is a book I’ll continue to enjoy annually with Alces in my ears.
3/27/2022 - Updated review for the audiobook.
3/22/2022 - Praise the audio gods and Cole McCade, there’s an audiobook! Released today. Totally rearranging my TBL for this. Ahhhhhhhh!!!!! 💗
Updated July 2021 b/c I read this at least once a year.
First. This cover! Gorgeous!
This stand alone was a loooong book – but Imre & Luca were worth it. Cole McCade weaves a beautiful story with so much detail that I’m fully immersed in this world. At first, it feels a little daunting, perhaps overwhelming, and I’m worried that I’m about to be drowned by someone who is just dumping words on the page. But there’s purpose and meaning and heart to his prose. The farm almost becomes its own character. I feel like I’m living at Lohere (and frankly never want to leave).
I really enjoy age gap romance, however I admit to being a little worried with this one. Imre being a family friend and knowing Luca since he was 5. A twenty six year age difference. However, I think by giving the characters 10 years without seeing each other and by having them spend months together learning who they are as adults, McCade removed anything that could have felt creepy about it. Luca, while young, turns 20 and is a full grown adult.
There’s definitely a slow burn here. When Imre & Luca finally come together it’s absolutely beautiful. Not without troubles. There was some angst and I found myself in tears at a few points, however it was a necessary emotional maturing and miscommunications that made sense for the characters. Lovely HEA and I’m a big fan of the epilogue.
Narration:
I loved this book so much and was simultaneously thrilled it was coming to audio and worried it wouldn’t live up to my expectations. Instead, I wish there was some way to give this more than the five stars I had when I read it. Philip Alces exceeded my wildest expectations on bringing Luca & Imre to life. They are exactly how I imagined them and at the same time so much more. The personalities, accents, and the emotions were perfection. I soaked up this narration and know that this is a book I’ll continue to enjoy annually with Alces in my ears.
October 29, 2024
🎧Reread before it disappears from Audible Plus.
#ColeMccadeBinge
This author’s words and style of writing and how he chooses to set the scenes or describe the simplest of objects, feelings, characteristics, etc is pure magic; it is always a delight to read or listen to, and this book is the highest quality of writing. so sweet and real, it put me in the best of moods.
I did not think I would like this book as much as I did. The age gap is very big for my taste and so, I was afraid it would have a daddy kink which I mostly dislike BUT it was beautiful and gripping. The apple picking scene is my favorite it was so cute and charming, the flirting was just perfect, even that fight was so good. the fireworks scene made me nostalgic to the time I went to Hungary Imre’s country and by chance they were celebrating the day we arrived, we were watching the loveliest fireworks by the river💕 and like always with this author, the kissing scenes were over the charts. Yes there are sex scenes.
The only thing I did not like was for a demisexual, Imre sure was fast in his desires for Luca! It was day one, still! The main reasons he didn’t start anything early was because Luca was young, his friend’s son and he was protective of him!
Also, CM is very good in choosing the narrators to his books; Philip Alecs did wonderfully, him narrating was its own brand of magic, I wanted it to go on forever. Honestly, it was the only reason I took this long to finish the book.
#ColeMccadeBinge
This author’s words and style of writing and how he chooses to set the scenes or describe the simplest of objects, feelings, characteristics, etc is pure magic; it is always a delight to read or listen to, and this book is the highest quality of writing. so sweet and real, it put me in the best of moods.
I did not think I would like this book as much as I did. The age gap is very big for my taste and so, I was afraid it would have a daddy kink which I mostly dislike BUT it was beautiful and gripping. The apple picking scene is my favorite it was so cute and charming, the flirting was just perfect, even that fight was so good. the fireworks scene made me nostalgic to the time I went to Hungary Imre’s country and by chance they were celebrating the day we arrived, we were watching the loveliest fireworks by the river💕 and like always with this author, the kissing scenes were over the charts. Yes there are sex scenes.
The only thing I did not like was for a demisexual, Imre sure was fast in his desires for Luca! It was day one, still! The main reasons he didn’t start anything early was because Luca was young, his friend’s son and he was protective of him!
Also, CM is very good in choosing the narrators to his books; Philip Alecs did wonderfully, him narrating was its own brand of magic, I wanted it to go on forever. Honestly, it was the only reason I took this long to finish the book.
August 6, 2018
I'm struggling to know how to rate this one because I liked some parts of it and other parts didn't work for me at all. My rating is hovering somewhere between 2 and 3 stars.
This is my first Cole Mccade book, and perhaps it was a bad choice to start out with because age gap romances aren't my favorite. But the authors blurb on Twitter had me hooked at the words, 'goat farmer.'
Some spoilers ahead:
Things I liked about Over and Over Again:
-The writing was beautiful and sucked me in. The over all story/plot was well executed and well edited.
-The characters were well developed and authentic.
- I really enjoyed the friendship between Imre and Luca. Their banter and dialogue felt very real, and was my favorite thing about their relationship. I probably would've enjoyed this more if the story had been about an intense, intimate, meaningful friendship instead of a romance.
-The farming aspect (even though it there were inaccuracies.)
-Slow burn romance. McCade certainly has this down to an art.
Things that didn't work for me:
-The writing was at times, overly flowery, dramatic, and repetitive. I started skimming whole paragraphs of descriptions because it got old fast.
-The farming mistakes. This isn't a huge deal breaker, but because I grew up on a farm-with goats specifically-some of these were hard to ignore. For instance, an adult goat wouldn't drink from a bottle, no matter how sick, and if they were sick enough to need to be force fed a syringe or tube feeder would be used. Goat mating season is in full force in the fall, so Imre and Luca would've seen signs of rut long before December. And putting all 5 male goats in with 9 females is the worst breeding practice ever-not only will the males fight and the poor females be exhausted by all the attention, the farmer will have no way to know which kids belong to which buck/male. Good breeding records are essential-without them you can't know which buck is decreasing the quality of stock and which ones are improving your herd.
Also, the 'riding lesson' Imre gives Luca was laughable. No decent horse person would throw a beginning rider on the worst tempered horse in the barn, give the most basic verbal instructions on how to control the horse and then sit back and watch the student get thrown off multiple times until the student 'earns the horse's respect.' All with no mention of Luca wearing a helmet. And then after all that mess, Imre expects Luca, newbie rider, to follow him at a gallop on a trail ride. Good way to get your friends son killed or injured, there Imre.
-The love story. I didn't buy it. I had a hard time getting past the age gap. I think the romance could've worked for me if their relationship had developed from the present. Instead it was heavily steeped in the connection they shared when Luca was a child. Luca's love for Imre is based on the crush he had on Imre as a child. He rails at Imre to see him as more than a child, but in the same breath states he's loved him since he was 5. A 5 year-old doesn't understand love like an adult does, and basing Luca's love for Imre on that childhood crush didn't fly with me at all. Yes, Luca is an adult, capable of making his own choices. But he's a also so very young. His brain won't even be fully developed until he's 25. And his insistence that he's always loved Imre, that he's known since he was 5 that his love for Imre was real, even after being apart for 10 years...it only cements the feeling that he's too young to know what he wants or what he's doing.
-The insta-lust/love was a major turn off. I mean, it's the first day Luca's on the farm and Imre's already having inappropriate thoughts about him, fixating on physical traits he finds attractive. And it's only 3 days, I think, before he starts wondering if he loves Luca--beyond the familial/friendship love he's always felt. The author works really hard to convince me that Imre isn't a 'predator', and I wanted to believe him. I did believe him. And yet. Imre had plenty of opportunities to send Luca away before things got messy and he chose not to, despite thinking that his attraction to Luca was inappropriate, despite worrying about how Luca's father would be hurt if he found out. Imre constantly calls Luca a boy. And references his lithe, coltish, boyish frame. There's even bit where Imre says he can fit his two hands around Luca's waist...just how skinny is this kid? Geez, feed him, please. I hate this unrealistic description of a woman's weight/waist, and I hate it just as much when it's aimed at men. And, if Imre is so in love with Luca 'the man' why does he call him a boy? Why does he want to shag a BOY?
While I loved Imre's demisexuality, it sort of came across as an excuse for why it was okay for him to be with Luca, because they had this magical connection when Luca was a child. No matter how pretty the author painted it, this didn't seem like an equal partnership. There was still a sense of the older man taking advantage. Maybe if Luca hadn't seemed so immature and childish, I could've understood why Imre would fall in love with him. I would've understood why their relationship could work in the long term. As it stands, I don't feel it.
-The usage of 'possession' and 'claiming,' and 'losing control.' This isn't my favorite romance trend anyway, but disliked it even more here since the older man was the one doing the claiming and possessing of a barely adult young man. It didn't really seem to mesh with Imre's personality, and just added to the overall icky feeling their relationship gave me.
-the drama with Luca's dad. I saw it coming, and wasn't at all surprised. But I thought it would take much longer than 1 or 2 chapters to be resolved. I mean, really. Of course he wasn't totally cool with it, but I still felt it was resolved too quickly seeing as the characters hyped up how horrified and terrible his reaction would be for half the book or more.
Cole McCade states in his bio that he likes to write romances that 'flirt with the edge of taboo.' For this particular story, I felt he got a little to close to the edge and it didn't work for me. It might work for someone else. Another story might work better for me, and because I enjoyed his writing style, I'm inclined to give McCade another shot to win me over.
This is my first Cole Mccade book, and perhaps it was a bad choice to start out with because age gap romances aren't my favorite. But the authors blurb on Twitter had me hooked at the words, 'goat farmer.'
Some spoilers ahead:
Things I liked about Over and Over Again:
-The writing was beautiful and sucked me in. The over all story/plot was well executed and well edited.
-The characters were well developed and authentic.
- I really enjoyed the friendship between Imre and Luca. Their banter and dialogue felt very real, and was my favorite thing about their relationship. I probably would've enjoyed this more if the story had been about an intense, intimate, meaningful friendship instead of a romance.
-The farming aspect (even though it there were inaccuracies.)
-Slow burn romance. McCade certainly has this down to an art.
Things that didn't work for me:
-The writing was at times, overly flowery, dramatic, and repetitive. I started skimming whole paragraphs of descriptions because it got old fast.
-The farming mistakes. This isn't a huge deal breaker, but because I grew up on a farm-with goats specifically-some of these were hard to ignore. For instance, an adult goat wouldn't drink from a bottle, no matter how sick, and if they were sick enough to need to be force fed a syringe or tube feeder would be used. Goat mating season is in full force in the fall, so Imre and Luca would've seen signs of rut long before December. And putting all 5 male goats in with 9 females is the worst breeding practice ever-not only will the males fight and the poor females be exhausted by all the attention, the farmer will have no way to know which kids belong to which buck/male. Good breeding records are essential-without them you can't know which buck is decreasing the quality of stock and which ones are improving your herd.
Also, the 'riding lesson' Imre gives Luca was laughable. No decent horse person would throw a beginning rider on the worst tempered horse in the barn, give the most basic verbal instructions on how to control the horse and then sit back and watch the student get thrown off multiple times until the student 'earns the horse's respect.' All with no mention of Luca wearing a helmet. And then after all that mess, Imre expects Luca, newbie rider, to follow him at a gallop on a trail ride. Good way to get your friends son killed or injured, there Imre.
-The love story. I didn't buy it. I had a hard time getting past the age gap. I think the romance could've worked for me if their relationship had developed from the present. Instead it was heavily steeped in the connection they shared when Luca was a child. Luca's love for Imre is based on the crush he had on Imre as a child. He rails at Imre to see him as more than a child, but in the same breath states he's loved him since he was 5. A 5 year-old doesn't understand love like an adult does, and basing Luca's love for Imre on that childhood crush didn't fly with me at all. Yes, Luca is an adult, capable of making his own choices. But he's a also so very young. His brain won't even be fully developed until he's 25. And his insistence that he's always loved Imre, that he's known since he was 5 that his love for Imre was real, even after being apart for 10 years...it only cements the feeling that he's too young to know what he wants or what he's doing.
-The insta-lust/love was a major turn off. I mean, it's the first day Luca's on the farm and Imre's already having inappropriate thoughts about him, fixating on physical traits he finds attractive. And it's only 3 days, I think, before he starts wondering if he loves Luca--beyond the familial/friendship love he's always felt. The author works really hard to convince me that Imre isn't a 'predator', and I wanted to believe him. I did believe him. And yet. Imre had plenty of opportunities to send Luca away before things got messy and he chose not to, despite thinking that his attraction to Luca was inappropriate, despite worrying about how Luca's father would be hurt if he found out. Imre constantly calls Luca a boy. And references his lithe, coltish, boyish frame. There's even bit where Imre says he can fit his two hands around Luca's waist...just how skinny is this kid? Geez, feed him, please. I hate this unrealistic description of a woman's weight/waist, and I hate it just as much when it's aimed at men. And, if Imre is so in love with Luca 'the man' why does he call him a boy? Why does he want to shag a BOY?
While I loved Imre's demisexuality, it sort of came across as an excuse for why it was okay for him to be with Luca, because they had this magical connection when Luca was a child. No matter how pretty the author painted it, this didn't seem like an equal partnership. There was still a sense of the older man taking advantage. Maybe if Luca hadn't seemed so immature and childish, I could've understood why Imre would fall in love with him. I would've understood why their relationship could work in the long term. As it stands, I don't feel it.
-The usage of 'possession' and 'claiming,' and 'losing control.' This isn't my favorite romance trend anyway, but disliked it even more here since the older man was the one doing the claiming and possessing of a barely adult young man. It didn't really seem to mesh with Imre's personality, and just added to the overall icky feeling their relationship gave me.
-the drama with Luca's dad. I saw it coming, and wasn't at all surprised. But I thought it would take much longer than 1 or 2 chapters to be resolved. I mean, really. Of course he wasn't totally cool with it, but I still felt it was resolved too quickly seeing as the characters hyped up how horrified and terrible his reaction would be for half the book or more.
Cole McCade states in his bio that he likes to write romances that 'flirt with the edge of taboo.' For this particular story, I felt he got a little to close to the edge and it didn't work for me. It might work for someone else. Another story might work better for me, and because I enjoyed his writing style, I'm inclined to give McCade another shot to win me over.
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