When a Friend Needs a Friend

by Roozeboos

Good friends stick together in fun times and hard times. When a Friend Needs a Friend is a gift for friends of all ages. “This thoughtful book is sure to spark conversations between child readers and sympathetic adults.” ― The Horn Book "A wonderful story for children and adults that reminds us about the importance of feeling all of your feelings." ⁠― Amanda Mintzer, Psy.D, Child Mind Institute " The friendship between Oskar and Aya feels authentic, and the illustrations evoke ease and harmony. " ⁠― Tara Sanabria Davila, LCSW Assistant Professor of Social Work, Yale Child Study Center Aya and Oskar love to go on big adventures, build amazing creations, and make up stories together. But when Oskar gets sad, his feelings grow so big he doesn’t want to play. And that leaves Aya feeling hurt and confused. How can she help when she doesn’t know what Oskar needs? With candor and compassion, this heartfelt story shows that big feelings are a normal part of life ― something to be felt rather than fixed ― and models how to be an ally when someone you love is hurting.

Genres: Picture Books, Friendship, Childrens, Mental Health, Emotion, Fiction

32 pages, Hardcover

Published February 7, 2023

About the author

Roozeboos, or Anne Roos Kleiss as you might know her in daily life, tries to look at the world with a childlike curiosity - something reflected in her artist name, which was also her nickname as a kid. When she is not sitting behind her desk, she can be found set up on a street corner with her sketchbook, capturing the world around her. After finishing her MA in Children's Book Illustration at the Cambridge School of Art, she moved back to her favorite city Rotterdam, where she shares a studio space with a group of female artists above an arts and crafts shop.

Reviews

[Edward Sullivan · Rating 4 out of 5]

A compassionate story about two young friends who care and support one another through difficult times.

[Therese Thompson · Rating 5 out of 5]

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A sweet story to help young ones be more cognizant of friends’ feelings and not to jump to ownership of a problem when a buddy is keeping to himself or herself.

I don’t know about Parker, but I’m already more emotionally intelligent!

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[Makayla Arias]

“When a Friend Needs a Friend” by Roozeboos follows Aya and Oskar, who go through a slight rough patch in their friendship. Sometimes, Oskar has moments where he wants to be alone and does not want to play, but neither of the children understands why because they do not have a full grasp of their emotions. Roozeboos emphasizes how this is okay and how children will not want to play every second of every day. When Oskar feels like this, Aya keeps her distance but will sometimes leave him notes just checking in and saying that she is ready to play whenever he is ready. She gave Oskar the space he needed and reassured him that no matter what, she would always be his friend. Roozeboos showed readers how to be a good friend when their close friends might be going through a difficult time and taught them that it is okay not to be okay sometimes.

When it is first pictured that Oskar wants some alone time and that he is unhappy, he is drawn to the bottom right of the page. On the next page, there is a series of photos showing Oskar trying to work through his emotions on his own. In the “Introduction to Picturebook Codes” by William Moebius, we learn that characters placed low on the page are low in spirits, and if they are on the right side, they are going to embark on a journey. Oskar’s journey was dealing with his emotions alone without Aya by his side, which is uncommon for him. The pictures in picturebooks tell the readers a lot about the story and what is happening without needing to explain it with words.

[Ashley Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

“When a Friend Needs a Friend” by Roozeboos is about two best friends named Aya and Oskar who love going around town where everyone recognizes them, and building things with fake scenarios, while seeing an actual building get built by the construction workers. Oskar is known to get sad at times, which Aya doesn’t know why, but she always sticks by him and talks to adults to understand more about why he has these feelings. It states Aya would send notes to Oskar while he was alone and take him back into town when he was ready to socialize again. They got to see a new view to what they were used to, and Aya knew that she may not always have a solution to her friend’s low emotions, but she can always be there to support. Regarding friendship, the book shows how important it is to support your best friends. Some friends may have different emotions for an unknown period of time, and it’s important to note that being patient is all that a friend might need in order to know you will be there for them. This also shows how important it is to talk to an adult if you don’t understand how to handle the situation. According to Perry Nodelman’s How Picture Books Work, “picture books can and do provide information about sequential activity” (137). This can refer to a page in the book where Oskar is building a treehouse to isolate himself and his dog during the times he is distant. It shows how throughout the course of four seasons, he was able to finish building his tree house, as the progress is shown within each season.

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Aya and Oskar are best of friends. They build things, tell stories, and explore. One day Oscar is sad. There was nothing Aya could do. Oskar just wanted to be left alone. Aya missed him and sent him notes. After a while, she went to his house and asked, “How are you?” Oskar was doing better. Aya learned that all people, no matter how strong, go through hard times. The best we can do is be there for them. “Sadness needs to be felt rather than fixed.”

[Ellon · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 stars (I liked it)

This book does a good job showing a friendship and showing how to support someone who is feeling down (giving space but also letting them know you are there for them).
It reminds me a lot of The Rabbit Listened in regards to giving the reader advice on how to help a sad friend.

[Sara Lackey · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book because students can relate to both characters. They may feel like Oskar, who has big feelings that are hard to explain. He just felt like he needed time alone and it’s good for kids to see that that’s okay. They may also relate to Aya who can see her friend hurting and doesn’t know how to help. Students are able to see that just because their friend wants space doesn’t mean it was because of them. I think this is a great book for kids.

[Pam · Rating 4 out of 5]

Two friends play together all the time except when one feels sad and needs space. The story offers a gentle look at how emotions can feel overwhelming and someone needs some time alone. It also shows how a friend can continue to reach out and be supportive even while not understanding why something is happening.

[Mackenzie Freed · Rating 4 out of 5]

When a Friend Needs a Friend is a story that paints a picture of true friendship. It also discusses the idea of feeling your feelings and has many good teachable moments inside. It brings up different coping skills and also discusses what to do if you have a friend who you think is struggling with certain feelings. This is a book where lots of different lessons can be taught!

[Katie Lawrence · Rating 4 out of 5]

A darling story about helping a friend with big feelings, giving them space and patiently waiting to welcome them back when they're ready. I loved the inclusion of construction vehicles as well.

Thank you to Scholastic for the ARC received during ALA LibLearnX

[Christie Kaaland · Rating 3 out of 5]

Told from thee point of view of a a young girl whose close friend suffers from depression. She has a difficult time understanding his changes in moods, but comes to realize that it is not something she should take personally and to just be there for her friend when he needs her.

[Ame · Rating 4 out of 5]

Listened to and enjoyed via Reading with Megan's excellent TikTok account: https://www.tiktok.com/@thereadingrai...

Sometimes your friends may need space, and that's okay!

[Vanessa Stair · Rating 5 out of 5]

A children’s book that wonderfully captures a different type of friendship but one deserving of highlighting. This book shows how compassion and care can look in neurodiverse friendships is a simple and charming way. I loved the beautiful illustrations.

[Jj · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thanks to Scholastic Press for the ARC!

[Children's Literature Centre at FSU · Rating 4 out of 5]

A sweet reminder that it is important to be there for your friends and that it is okay to give them space to deal with their emotions.

[Bianca · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a heartfelt book on friendship and emotions. Amazing illustrations done with so much attention for details. These truly show Anne Roos her joy and love for illustrating!

[Sarah BT · Rating 4 out of 5]

A gorgeous book about being a friend through ups and downs and through big emotions that come our way.

[Karen Upper · Rating 5 out of 5]

A gentle story of how to deal with 'BIG FEELINGS' in a friend.
Highly recommended for school libraries!

[Ashley Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a sweet story about friendship and dealing with big feelings.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a nice book about being a good friend and allowing your friend time and still being there when that friend is ready to be together again.

[Ossy Firstan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kusukaaa

[Leighton · Rating 4 out of 5]

Friendship books always get me 😭