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8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter: And other tips from a beleaguered father [not that any of them work]
A nationally syndicated columnist with the Rocky Mountain News, Cameron gained national attention with the publication of 8 SIMPLE RULES in hardcover, becoming a regular contributor to Time's "Your Family" column and a featured story on CNN, CBS's The Early Show, and in People magazine. The reason is simple: he expresses something very true in a very funny way, examining just what happens when Daddy's little girl becomes a teenager. Beginning with the warning signs (#5: Your car insurance suddenly costs more than the car), the book covers dating (Rule #2: Keep your hands and eyes off my daughter's body or I will remove them), the telephone (seemingly wired to her nervous system), braces (the costliest metal on earth), the first job, and more. "Cameron's take on the angst felt by every father of a teenage daughter is witty, wise, and excruciatingly on the money" (Charles Shyer, writer and director, Father of the Bride I and II).
321 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2001
13 people are currently reading
615 people want to read
About the author
W. Bruce Cameron
95 books4,475 followersI’ve always loved dogs, which puts me in a unique category along with what, maybe two or three billion people?
What’s not to love about an animal who will sit in your living room all day long, waiting for you to get home, and even if you need to work late and then stop for a stress-relieving beverage on your way home, when you unlock that front door, is absolutely overjoyed to see you? How could you not adore an animal who senses when your day is not going well and tries to cheer you up by dumping a sodden tennis ball in your lap?
I was probably 8 years old, playing in the back yard of our house in Prairie Village, KS, when my dad opened the gate and in rushed a 9-week-old Labrador puppy. I fell to my knees and spread my arms and that dog leaped into them as if we had loved each other our whole lives. It’s a scene that shows up in A Dog’s Purpose—a puppy and a boy meeting each other the very first time, both of them full of unrestrained joy.
We named the dog Cammie. She arrived in my life when I was just beginning to connect some of the dots in my memory to make a picture of who I was, forming my identity as a child. I remember every skinned knee and bicycle ride in the context of Cammie, who was always there for me. And I lost her just as I was starting to leave childhood behind, passing on after I’d spent a year in college. That’s Cammie, the dog of my childhood.
Years later I was riding my bicycle in the mountains outside of Pine, CO. A chance decision to bounce down a dirt road led me past a few scattered ranches and one small house near a creek, set back from the road at least 50 yards. A single “woof” from a dog caught my attention, and I braked and stood in the dry, clear air, regarding the dog who had called out to me.
She was on a chain by the house, and a fence stood between us, so I remained on the road even though I could see that the dog, a black lab mix with a crazily active tail, was clearly friendly. I gazed at her and the dog sat, attentive, staring into my eyes exactly the way my first dog, Cammie, used to look at me, really seeing into me.
And that’s when the thought hit me. What if this wonderful dog was Cammie? What if dogs live over and over again, and always remember us?
I dismissed the thought, waved at the dog, and rode away, but days later the idea came back to me. What if?
I’ve been a writer my whole life, but never have I ever written anything as important as A Dog’s Purpose.
I can’t promise you that A Dog’s Purpose will make you love your dog more—how could it do that? But I’ll tell you what a lot of people have told me: after reading A Dog’s Purpose, you’ll never look at your dog the same way again.
What’s not to love about an animal who will sit in your living room all day long, waiting for you to get home, and even if you need to work late and then stop for a stress-relieving beverage on your way home, when you unlock that front door, is absolutely overjoyed to see you? How could you not adore an animal who senses when your day is not going well and tries to cheer you up by dumping a sodden tennis ball in your lap?
I was probably 8 years old, playing in the back yard of our house in Prairie Village, KS, when my dad opened the gate and in rushed a 9-week-old Labrador puppy. I fell to my knees and spread my arms and that dog leaped into them as if we had loved each other our whole lives. It’s a scene that shows up in A Dog’s Purpose—a puppy and a boy meeting each other the very first time, both of them full of unrestrained joy.
We named the dog Cammie. She arrived in my life when I was just beginning to connect some of the dots in my memory to make a picture of who I was, forming my identity as a child. I remember every skinned knee and bicycle ride in the context of Cammie, who was always there for me. And I lost her just as I was starting to leave childhood behind, passing on after I’d spent a year in college. That’s Cammie, the dog of my childhood.
Years later I was riding my bicycle in the mountains outside of Pine, CO. A chance decision to bounce down a dirt road led me past a few scattered ranches and one small house near a creek, set back from the road at least 50 yards. A single “woof” from a dog caught my attention, and I braked and stood in the dry, clear air, regarding the dog who had called out to me.
She was on a chain by the house, and a fence stood between us, so I remained on the road even though I could see that the dog, a black lab mix with a crazily active tail, was clearly friendly. I gazed at her and the dog sat, attentive, staring into my eyes exactly the way my first dog, Cammie, used to look at me, really seeing into me.
And that’s when the thought hit me. What if this wonderful dog was Cammie? What if dogs live over and over again, and always remember us?
I dismissed the thought, waved at the dog, and rode away, but days later the idea came back to me. What if?
I’ve been a writer my whole life, but never have I ever written anything as important as A Dog’s Purpose.
I can’t promise you that A Dog’s Purpose will make you love your dog more—how could it do that? But I’ll tell you what a lot of people have told me: after reading A Dog’s Purpose, you’ll never look at your dog the same way again.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 49 reviews
February 3, 2009
My husband and I checked the audiobook out from the library when we went on a road trip. We lasted about halfway through the first cassette (yes, I said cassette), and I just had to turn it off because it was such a load of sexist crap!!!
April 8, 2011
Reading this book was a very emotional experience. I read it a few months into my first year of college, away from home, and it made me miss my dad terribly.
May 28, 2013
I know, I know, I give way too many 5-star reviews, but this book legitimately earned it. I was laughing from beginning to end. If you have a teenager, have had a teenager, if you ever once were a teenager, you can appreciate the comedy in this book, mostly because the finer points of the book are SO TRUE. And sure, they're funny NOW but back then, not so much!
I've started to realize that my father was a saint for putting up with a hormonal teenage girl (me) and my menopausal mother at the same house. How we managed to not blow up the house is beyond me. I've also realized that I took it way too easy on my parents when I was a teenager. I never violated curfew or had raucous parties when they were out of town for the weekend (mostly because...well...they never were out of town for the weekend). My parents never had to lecture me about getting my homework done (nor did I ever ask them for their assistance. I actually wanted to DO WELL in my classes. :P And if you think I'm being harsh on my parents, they'll corroborate that statement. I've seen their HS report cards.) I certainly never dated any of the unwashed miscreants that went to my school, which alleviated most of the issues from this book.
Maybe I need to invent a time machine and go back a decade or so and give it another go and really give my parents a headache or two.
But that would mean I'd have to go back to being a TEENAGER again. I think I'll pass.
I've started to realize that my father was a saint for putting up with a hormonal teenage girl (me) and my menopausal mother at the same house. How we managed to not blow up the house is beyond me. I've also realized that I took it way too easy on my parents when I was a teenager. I never violated curfew or had raucous parties when they were out of town for the weekend (mostly because...well...they never were out of town for the weekend). My parents never had to lecture me about getting my homework done (nor did I ever ask them for their assistance. I actually wanted to DO WELL in my classes. :P And if you think I'm being harsh on my parents, they'll corroborate that statement. I've seen their HS report cards.) I certainly never dated any of the unwashed miscreants that went to my school, which alleviated most of the issues from this book.
Maybe I need to invent a time machine and go back a decade or so and give it another go and really give my parents a headache or two.
But that would mean I'd have to go back to being a TEENAGER again. I think I'll pass.
January 30, 2016
Many people say that you need to purchase the audio book version. Jim and I read this as a travel book on car rides. I was reading out loud so I guess that was just like having the audio book...??? My parents were even in the car for some of it, and it had them chuckling in the back seat from all the memories of my teenage years no doubt. It might be sexist, but as a former teenage girl, I can certainly still laugh at it, as can Jim. We just bought the sequel for our next road trip. :-)
June 13, 2011
This was really funny, even if parts of it were a little dated (no cell phones yet). My daughter isn't quite to that age yet, but my son has reached teenagehood. It's nice to learn that some of the things I've seen are more a universal condition that I was thinking they were.
September 22, 2011
Well, Bruce is actually my friend. I absolutely adored these stories. He is hysterical and even if you don't have children or remember your own childhood, you will be smiling and noding along as you read.
September 16, 2010
I'm not even done yet, and it's hilarious! Must read for parents of teenage daughters--
Thankfully my teenage girls aren't this dramatic!!
Thankfully my teenage girls aren't this dramatic!!
March 22, 2011
Absolutely the most hilarious book I've ever read.
April 10, 2012
I thought this book was very funny and I've read it several times!
September 21, 2015
I don't understand. I really don't. What are the techniques of humor that this man uses in his book? Made me burst into laughter. Hum hum hum. I have to work it out.
October 30, 2018
A humorous “survival guide” on what you need to know when raising teenage daughters. This book will definitely make you laugh though it’s probably longer than it needs to be.
April 2, 2022
Quando o li em 2006 acho que o achei mais engraçado do que agora. Continua a ser um livro divertido, mas deste vez não estava no mood para o ler... acho que foi isso ;)
May 22, 2009
W. Bruce Cameron's columns have always been a cross between Dave Barry and Erma Bombeck. That is, a tongue in cheek "How can this be happening to me?" attitude, applied to the daily chore of raising teenage girls. His humor or guffaw level is also somewhere in between, that is, his observations are funnier than Erma, but I've never gotten the fall down on the floor belly laughs that Dave can sometimes produce.
I've been reading this guy's net column for years. Since when his kids were kids, and he didn't have a syndicated column yet. In fact, his career could be described as another blogger made good. And like many bloggers, his best stuff is compacted into articles that you can easily read in about 2 minutes. So I was absolutely delighted to find out that he was coming out with a full length book.
The book is kind of a funny how to manual and running commentary on the care and feeding of two teenage daughters and a pre-teen boy. There is the expected chaos, the hormones, the constant state of crisis of the teenager's mind set, the physical changes, and the heart warming helplessness of the formerly protective parent no longer sure of what or how to protect his children.
The story covers details down to bathroom and sleep habits. Hs observations are always amusing if not always fall down funny. From the kid's perspective, his behavior might actually justify their behavior.
A big part of parenting is learning how to let go. And while my daughter is only one, I can believe having these same conversations and encountering these same situations with her. If Cameron is right, then there is nothing I can do about it, but at least I will be ready for it. It is clear that he loves his daughters, even to the point of lampooning their relationship.
My biggest complaint is that this book contains nothing new. These are all the same themes covered by the articles over the last five or so years. The book is almost like a compilation of his old columns. Like those Dilbert compilations they put out two or three times a year that collects old strips.
Cameron also includes filler, like he tries to meet his editor's word requirement by adding "cute phrases" like "You are the father" at the end of every chapter. It doesn't really work every chapter.
But if you are looking for some light reading, or have teenage girls, this book will provide welcome relief. Whatever you do, don't judge this book by its TV spin off. It is way way better.
But if you really want the best of Cameron, sign up for the weekly columns.
I've been reading this guy's net column for years. Since when his kids were kids, and he didn't have a syndicated column yet. In fact, his career could be described as another blogger made good. And like many bloggers, his best stuff is compacted into articles that you can easily read in about 2 minutes. So I was absolutely delighted to find out that he was coming out with a full length book.
The book is kind of a funny how to manual and running commentary on the care and feeding of two teenage daughters and a pre-teen boy. There is the expected chaos, the hormones, the constant state of crisis of the teenager's mind set, the physical changes, and the heart warming helplessness of the formerly protective parent no longer sure of what or how to protect his children.
The story covers details down to bathroom and sleep habits. Hs observations are always amusing if not always fall down funny. From the kid's perspective, his behavior might actually justify their behavior.
A big part of parenting is learning how to let go. And while my daughter is only one, I can believe having these same conversations and encountering these same situations with her. If Cameron is right, then there is nothing I can do about it, but at least I will be ready for it. It is clear that he loves his daughters, even to the point of lampooning their relationship.
My biggest complaint is that this book contains nothing new. These are all the same themes covered by the articles over the last five or so years. The book is almost like a compilation of his old columns. Like those Dilbert compilations they put out two or three times a year that collects old strips.
Cameron also includes filler, like he tries to meet his editor's word requirement by adding "cute phrases" like "You are the father" at the end of every chapter. It doesn't really work every chapter.
But if you are looking for some light reading, or have teenage girls, this book will provide welcome relief. Whatever you do, don't judge this book by its TV spin off. It is way way better.
But if you really want the best of Cameron, sign up for the weekly columns.
January 3, 2014
Funny! I bought copies for friends of mine who were in the same boat as I: having daughters who were starting to have guys interested in them... My original idea was to not allow my daughter to date until she was 30 years old, but that didn't work when it got right down to it... I know have one daughter married and another engaged. This book will help the father navigate through the rough uncharted waters of this time in his life... (And to do it with grace.)
Here are the eight rules, which ironically only take up a very small portion of the book:
1. if you pull into my driveway and honk, you'd better be delivering a package, b/c you're sure as heck not picking anything up.
2. do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her as long as you do not peer at anything below her neck...
3. Keep your pants on because no one wants to see your underwear when you come to the door to meet my daughter. (paraphrase)
4. You might have been told that sex w/o utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind will kill you.... when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
5. ...the only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."
6. ...if you make my daughter cry, I will make you cry.
7. as you are in my hallway waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh or fidget... instead make yourself useful and change the oil in my car.
8. The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: (long list given) then he concludes with: Hockey games are okay.
Here are the eight rules, which ironically only take up a very small portion of the book:
1. if you pull into my driveway and honk, you'd better be delivering a package, b/c you're sure as heck not picking anything up.
2. do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her as long as you do not peer at anything below her neck...
3. Keep your pants on because no one wants to see your underwear when you come to the door to meet my daughter. (paraphrase)
4. You might have been told that sex w/o utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind will kill you.... when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
5. ...the only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."
6. ...if you make my daughter cry, I will make you cry.
7. as you are in my hallway waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh or fidget... instead make yourself useful and change the oil in my car.
8. The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: (long list given) then he concludes with: Hockey games are okay.
Read
November 25, 2009This is one ebook, you need to get if you are having any difficulty flirting with women. You will get over your approach anxiety and wont feel so shy if you know exactly how to flirt with her.
You learn what to do on a date following step by step instructions. You learn what to say when you walk up to meet her, things that actually are proven to work. This ebook gives real examples of interactions and explains why they work.
So you learn how to walk up, what to say and how to get her attracted to you before you ask her for a date. And then he tells you what to do on the date and how to escalate a woman. Lots of greatbody language advice as well as how to look good even if you are just an average Joe.
More such reviews at
http://howtodate.blog.com/top-reviews/
You learn what to do on a date following step by step instructions. You learn what to say when you walk up to meet her, things that actually are proven to work. This ebook gives real examples of interactions and explains why they work.
So you learn how to walk up, what to say and how to get her attracted to you before you ask her for a date. And then he tells you what to do on the date and how to escalate a woman. Lots of greatbody language advice as well as how to look good even if you are just an average Joe.
More such reviews at
http://howtodate.blog.com/top-reviews/
January 29, 2013
Hilarious!
November 1, 2015
Little too dated for my taste.
January 29, 2020
Pretty funny for any parent of a girl. Quick read.
July 28, 2020
I found this to be a comical read about Dad who dearly loves his daughter and no one will ever be good enough for her, even if he follows the rules described! Just shows how difficult parenting is!
January 23, 2021
Very apt in places and funny.
May 2, 2021
Excellent, and though a mother of 2 daughter's.....very accurate! Though, I'm not nearly as funny as Mr. Cameron! I know he has grown children.....and am sure that they have turned out WONDERFULLY!!
January 31, 2024
What a hysterical book!! I picked this one up on a whim, after reading the much-loved "Dog's Purpose" trilogy. I wanted to see the scope of Cameron's prowess. NOT DISAPPOINTED!!! This book was so hilarious that my husband had to shush me from my constant mirthful cackling. I'm a huge fan of well-known humor writers--my funny bone is tickled by David Sedaris, Dave Berry, Bill Bryson, etc. (but I loathe Douglas Adams)--and Bruce pulled the rug out from under me because I simply didn't expect to find myself howling out loud when I started reading this book!
I'm not a parent but I loved being reminded of some of my horrible behavior as a kid, and of my brothers. Oh, to be a parent. And my dad was very much up in dates' faces to let them know they would be four-and-quartered if things should go awry with me! The antics of teenagers and parents, it was documented so well, I couldn't stop laughing! I will say that I have always been a tomboy and both a social outcast and lone wolf, so his ongoing descriptions of what it was like to raise popular girls who were stereotypical in all ways was both funny but also disgusting and infuriating sometimes. Obviously there is some fiction in these accounts but so much fun!
I'd say the last couple of chapters were stretching it...I was happy to get to the end but definitely worth the titters even up to the last page. Great fun, I haven't laughed so hard while enjoying a book for quite some time. LOVED IT!! (My 4/5 stars is because it should have been shorter, some of the later chapters were leaning towards boring imo)
I'm not a parent but I loved being reminded of some of my horrible behavior as a kid, and of my brothers. Oh, to be a parent. And my dad was very much up in dates' faces to let them know they would be four-and-quartered if things should go awry with me! The antics of teenagers and parents, it was documented so well, I couldn't stop laughing! I will say that I have always been a tomboy and both a social outcast and lone wolf, so his ongoing descriptions of what it was like to raise popular girls who were stereotypical in all ways was both funny but also disgusting and infuriating sometimes. Obviously there is some fiction in these accounts but so much fun!
I'd say the last couple of chapters were stretching it...I was happy to get to the end but definitely worth the titters even up to the last page. Great fun, I haven't laughed so hard while enjoying a book for quite some time. LOVED IT!! (My 4/5 stars is because it should have been shorter, some of the later chapters were leaning towards boring imo)
February 27, 2020
I didn't finish this stream of consciousness tries-too-hard book. Maybe in its time it was better and I've liked other things by Cameron but it reads as old-fashioned and dated these days. I decided to move on to something else instead of persevering.
July 18, 2022
Will come back to this later when Coco is older!
May 4, 2019
Một người bạn đã giới thiệu tôi cuốn sách này. Thực sự thì tôi đã mong chờ ở nó khá nhiều và sau đó là một sự gượng ép nhẹ để hoàn thành cuốn sách. Nhưng càng đến những chương cuối sự gượng ép càng mất đi thay vào đó là niềm vui và sự xúc động. Tôi thực sự xúc động trước tình yêu vô bờ mà tác giả gửi đến những đứa con của ông. Hóa ra đằng sau những lời bông đùa tôi từng cho là 'nhạt nhẽo', đằng sau sự 'vô dụng' hoàn toàn của một ông bố là một điều quan trọng nhất mà ta có được trong cuộc đời này: một điểm tựa - dù không quá vững chắc nhưng không bao giờ từ bỏ ta, dù 'vô dụng' nhưng nếu đó là điều bắt buộc cho con yêu sống hạnh phúc bố nhất định sẽ làm bằng được. Đã lâu lắm rồi bỗng nhiên tôi thấy nhớ và thương yêu bố mình đến vậy...
July 4, 2011
I saw a review that described this book as Dave Barry meets Erma Bombeck. It's a pretty accurate description.
Mostly, even though I'm the wrong audience for this book, I was entertained. I laughed out loud at several points, and I disagree that the book is overtly misogynistic. Cameron makes fun equally of himself and his daughters in these pages.
I doubt it's a book that's going to last very long in my memory, and I'm not sure I actually want to watch the TV show on which it's based, but it was a diverting way to pass the time.
Mostly, even though I'm the wrong audience for this book, I was entertained. I laughed out loud at several points, and I disagree that the book is overtly misogynistic. Cameron makes fun equally of himself and his daughters in these pages.
I doubt it's a book that's going to last very long in my memory, and I'm not sure I actually want to watch the TV show on which it's based, but it was a diverting way to pass the time.
September 11, 2014
I listened to this book in the car, having only two discs it was a fast "read". It was clever enough in some areas, but to tell the truth, the narrator was the part I disliked the most. It was read by John Ritter, who has a tendency to run sentences together as part of his comedic delivery. It got old for me.
Personally, I would have been pretty unhappy if my father had written a book about how difficult I was to raise. Though he clearly loves his children, I didn't like the book.
Personally, I would have been pretty unhappy if my father had written a book about how difficult I was to raise. Though he clearly loves his children, I didn't like the book.
November 17, 2009
W. Bruce Cameron is one funny guy, and I laughed continuously throughout this book, which follows his attempts to keep the lid on his teenaged daughter's inexorable road to freedom from Dad's rules. I have not read his follow-up book about marrying off his daughter, but if you haven't read Cameron, this is a great place to start.
December 19, 2014
You don't have to have a teenage daughter to enjoy this book. Any parent of children of almost any age will laugh out loud reading this book. Raising kids is hard to do and Bruce Cameron sure knows how to remind us of the many ways our kids can drive us nuts. 8 simple rules of marrying my daughter is next on my reading list.
August 26, 2012
This is pretty funny. Not too many comedy books can sustain the pace, but this one does. It probably helps that these scenarios have played out in my own home. The book produced from me everything from giggles to chuckles to out-loud laughter.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 49 reviews