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Start with Hello:
A simple path to a more deeply connected life
You want more. You want to belong to a community that looks out for each other. You believe in your bones we don't have to live detached, distracted, and divided. The question is, How ? Shannan Martin invites you into deeper connection through simple resets, such as
· Open Door > Perfect Décor. We invite others in, seeking to connect, not impress.
· Familiar > Fussy. We serve tacos and pizza like the feasts they are, because fancy is overrated.
· Tender > Tough. We greet the world with our hearts exposed and our guards down.
Packed with street-level practices and real-talk storytelling, Start with Hello is your field guide for a life of security, camaraderie, and joy. There is no step too small.
"As it turns out, there is no them but only us , and this is the book we both want and need to help us find our way back to each other."-- Emily P. Freeman , Wall Street Journal bestselling author of The Next Right Thing
" Start with Hello is a love letter to community and a call to action toward radical, realistic hospitality."-- Osheta Moore , pastor, speaker, and author of Dear White Peacemakers
"This book will change you in a way you've been craving to change. It makes being a neighbor, not to mention a person, just so beautifully . . . doable ."-- Kendra Adachi , New York Times bestselling author of The Lazy Genius Way
"This book is lovely, warm, honest. It brims with possibility."-- Jen Hatmaker , New York Times bestselling author of Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire
You want more. You want to belong to a community that looks out for each other. You believe in your bones we don't have to live detached, distracted, and divided. The question is, How ? Shannan Martin invites you into deeper connection through simple resets, such as
· Open Door > Perfect Décor. We invite others in, seeking to connect, not impress.
· Familiar > Fussy. We serve tacos and pizza like the feasts they are, because fancy is overrated.
· Tender > Tough. We greet the world with our hearts exposed and our guards down.
Packed with street-level practices and real-talk storytelling, Start with Hello is your field guide for a life of security, camaraderie, and joy. There is no step too small.
"As it turns out, there is no them but only us , and this is the book we both want and need to help us find our way back to each other."-- Emily P. Freeman , Wall Street Journal bestselling author of The Next Right Thing
" Start with Hello is a love letter to community and a call to action toward radical, realistic hospitality."-- Osheta Moore , pastor, speaker, and author of Dear White Peacemakers
"This book will change you in a way you've been craving to change. It makes being a neighbor, not to mention a person, just so beautifully . . . doable ."-- Kendra Adachi , New York Times bestselling author of The Lazy Genius Way
"This book is lovely, warm, honest. It brims with possibility."-- Jen Hatmaker , New York Times bestselling author of Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire
224 pages, Paperback
First published October 11, 2022
154 people are currently reading
5256 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 234 reviews
November 10, 2022
While the message this author is telling is incredibly valuable, she said it better and included God, in her previous book, The Ministry of Ordinary Places.
October 26, 2022
Shannan makes being a good neighbor accessible for people from all walks of life. Being a good neighbor isn't just for the middle class or those who live in apartment complexes who share walls. It is for all of us; rich and poor, those of us with long drives or no driveway at all. It's for the rich too and those living on the street and in their car.
Shannan's first two books felt much more climactic than this one. They used profound and deep language and concepts to dig into the heart of her and her family's decisions to change how they do life with others and where they live. Especially her second book, "Ministry of Ordinary Places", which changed how I do ministry completely, I was highlighting every other sentence.
'Start With Hello' was not a book I found myself highlighting constantly. Mostly because the things Shannan said weren't mindblowing or profound. They are simple. That's what she does. She takes something meaningful like being connected with your community (like truly connected) and made it so simple. That's really all we want. We just want to know the simple things we can do to love people and do life with people well. She gave us that.
She gave it to us in words that people from all walks of life can understand. The level of comprehension in this book is also simple, allowing people from all walks of life and abilities to access it. And if one can't read, we have the audiobook to listen.
Shannan's understanding of the world seems so rare, yet I wish it wasn't. She is a fresh of breath air. She challenges in a strong and gentle way. It's the perfect balance. Her words matter because she's been living them out for years. And they work. She gives us permission to mess up at being a good neighbor and welcomes the mess ups. She gives us permission to take breaks from it as well. Some days we just gotta stay in bed or lay on the couch and not answer the doorbell.
Your life will be richer because of this book, because of the connections you will make because of this book. Your neighbors will be richer too.
Shannan's first two books felt much more climactic than this one. They used profound and deep language and concepts to dig into the heart of her and her family's decisions to change how they do life with others and where they live. Especially her second book, "Ministry of Ordinary Places", which changed how I do ministry completely, I was highlighting every other sentence.
'Start With Hello' was not a book I found myself highlighting constantly. Mostly because the things Shannan said weren't mindblowing or profound. They are simple. That's what she does. She takes something meaningful like being connected with your community (like truly connected) and made it so simple. That's really all we want. We just want to know the simple things we can do to love people and do life with people well. She gave us that.
She gave it to us in words that people from all walks of life can understand. The level of comprehension in this book is also simple, allowing people from all walks of life and abilities to access it. And if one can't read, we have the audiobook to listen.
Shannan's understanding of the world seems so rare, yet I wish it wasn't. She is a fresh of breath air. She challenges in a strong and gentle way. It's the perfect balance. Her words matter because she's been living them out for years. And they work. She gives us permission to mess up at being a good neighbor and welcomes the mess ups. She gives us permission to take breaks from it as well. Some days we just gotta stay in bed or lay on the couch and not answer the doorbell.
Your life will be richer because of this book, because of the connections you will make because of this book. Your neighbors will be richer too.
October 18, 2022
Coming out of a pandemic, this book is just what we need. We've forgotten how to say hello. We don't know our neighbors names and we certainly don't want to ask for help. But it isn't too late! Shannan challenges us in all the big ways but the small ways too. We can offer what we have and we can ask for what we need. We are better together.
February 23, 2023
I was ready to DNF this, then reached a point where the author asserts that we should go out of our way to listen to voices different than ours, different than the books we gravitate toward. Ok you got me, I’ll stick it out to the end.
I am not a fan of Martin’s writing style. Her prose feels precious and overly emotional. Look for the beauty in everyday normal things, of course, but not everything needs to read like an indecipherable poem.
I appreciate the book’s premise of good neighbouring, but as a “Christian book” it was completely missing the point. The “why”. Jesus: it was missing Jesus. You can be a good neighbour and go out of your way to say hello and be kind, but what good is it if we aren’t doing all we do in response to the God who left heaven to dwell among us?
I am not a fan of Martin’s writing style. Her prose feels precious and overly emotional. Look for the beauty in everyday normal things, of course, but not everything needs to read like an indecipherable poem.
I appreciate the book’s premise of good neighbouring, but as a “Christian book” it was completely missing the point. The “why”. Jesus: it was missing Jesus. You can be a good neighbour and go out of your way to say hello and be kind, but what good is it if we aren’t doing all we do in response to the God who left heaven to dwell among us?
December 12, 2022
It’s described as a book about becoming a good neighbor and creating your village so to speak, but most of it reads as a feeble attempt at tackling racial and social justice issues. The author isn’t the right person to take that on, in my opinion.
October 24, 2022
When popular bloggers write books, a common critique is that each chapter seems like a blog post. Shannan Martin avoids that common problem in Start with Hello, building on her theme in a sequential way instead of just telling cute stories. She explores multiple different issues related to hospitality and neighborliness, providing insightful encouragement to people who want to build relationships and open their home to people but don't know where to start. Throughout the book, she deals with common personal hang-ups that people have about hospitality, and she also addresses common issues related to privilege, race, and money that can make it harder for people to achieve genuine community.
Great Elements
This book is highly readable and engaging, and Martin's down-to-earth personal examples show how being neighborly can just mean waving and saying hello, even if a relationship doesn't progress beyond there. She encourages readers to cultivate basic neighborliness along with a deeper sense of community, and because Martin is an introvert, her practical encouragement doesn't require anyone to suddenly get a new personality. She shows how both quiet people and extroverted people can reach out to others, and outlines many of the practical steps that people can take to recover socially from the pandemic, get to know people in a new place, or start connecting with the people they've lived near for years.
For the most part, nothing in this book was new to me. I have already read hundreds of times, for example, that you don't have to have a picture-perfect, totally clean home to invite people over. The stand-out aspect of this book isn't that the advice is new, but that Martin shares so many meaningful personal stories to illustrate the points she makes about hospitality, community, and justice. I enjoyed her conversational writing style, her vulnerable personal disclosures, and her moving stories about her relationships with her neighbors, family, and friends. She also shares helpful insights about dealing with challenges like setting healthy boundaries in relationships when a friend is very needy, so that you can protect yourself from burn-out and give with joy.
Critiques
Although Martin's writing is very engaging, I found some of her sentences so confusing that I had to read them repeatedly to understand them, and some of her metaphors never seemed to stick. I'm a very literal thinker, so it could be my problem, but she sometimes gave random analogies without unpacking the meaning, leaving them unfinished and moving on to something else. I felt that I was at a disadvantage by not knowing her blog, and sometimes wondered if she expected her readers to know her and her writing well enough to know what she was aiming for and fill in the blanks.
The occasional writing issues cropped up throughout the book, but they concerned me the most in the chapters about justice issues. I knew what she was talking about, but since she intended this book to be an on-ramp for less-informed readers to learn more, her convoluted statements and unexplained buzzwords are a problem. The stories Martin shares are moving and fully understandable, but her short, abbreviated references to broad societal issues are often confusing. For example, after she encourages her readers to let guests contribute to meals, she adds a quick, confusingly worded caution about "food deserts" and the racist condemnation of "soul food," throwing these comments in there without unpacking their meaning or full implications.
In the same chapter, she never once mentions anyone's barriers with dietary restrictions and food allergies. It's 2022, and I have personally seen the progress people have made in knowing how to handle this issue gracefully. I fully expected Martin to acknowledge that you can accommodate someone's food allergies by making something they can eat or letting them bring their own dish, but she never even mentions the possibility of this. She writes glowingly about the joy of eating tacos and the magic of sharing a meal, but she never acknowledges the discomfort and exclusion that people experience when food they can't eat becomes the centerpiece of fellowship and they're expected to partake or rain on everyone's parade.
Conclusion
Start with Hello will appeal greatly to the author's following, and people who are new to her work can also benefit from her wise advice and touching stories. However, I often felt like an outsider because I'm not familiar with Martin's blog, and I wish that she had fully explained and unpacked all of the references that she made to social issues, so that this could fully function as the on-ramp she intended it to be for people who are new to these conversations. I am also disappointed that a current book about hospitality didn't acknowledge food allergies at all. I truly enjoyed elements of this book, and I think it will be helpful to many people, but I can only recommend it with caveats.
I received a free copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
Great Elements
This book is highly readable and engaging, and Martin's down-to-earth personal examples show how being neighborly can just mean waving and saying hello, even if a relationship doesn't progress beyond there. She encourages readers to cultivate basic neighborliness along with a deeper sense of community, and because Martin is an introvert, her practical encouragement doesn't require anyone to suddenly get a new personality. She shows how both quiet people and extroverted people can reach out to others, and outlines many of the practical steps that people can take to recover socially from the pandemic, get to know people in a new place, or start connecting with the people they've lived near for years.
For the most part, nothing in this book was new to me. I have already read hundreds of times, for example, that you don't have to have a picture-perfect, totally clean home to invite people over. The stand-out aspect of this book isn't that the advice is new, but that Martin shares so many meaningful personal stories to illustrate the points she makes about hospitality, community, and justice. I enjoyed her conversational writing style, her vulnerable personal disclosures, and her moving stories about her relationships with her neighbors, family, and friends. She also shares helpful insights about dealing with challenges like setting healthy boundaries in relationships when a friend is very needy, so that you can protect yourself from burn-out and give with joy.
Critiques
Although Martin's writing is very engaging, I found some of her sentences so confusing that I had to read them repeatedly to understand them, and some of her metaphors never seemed to stick. I'm a very literal thinker, so it could be my problem, but she sometimes gave random analogies without unpacking the meaning, leaving them unfinished and moving on to something else. I felt that I was at a disadvantage by not knowing her blog, and sometimes wondered if she expected her readers to know her and her writing well enough to know what she was aiming for and fill in the blanks.
The occasional writing issues cropped up throughout the book, but they concerned me the most in the chapters about justice issues. I knew what she was talking about, but since she intended this book to be an on-ramp for less-informed readers to learn more, her convoluted statements and unexplained buzzwords are a problem. The stories Martin shares are moving and fully understandable, but her short, abbreviated references to broad societal issues are often confusing. For example, after she encourages her readers to let guests contribute to meals, she adds a quick, confusingly worded caution about "food deserts" and the racist condemnation of "soul food," throwing these comments in there without unpacking their meaning or full implications.
In the same chapter, she never once mentions anyone's barriers with dietary restrictions and food allergies. It's 2022, and I have personally seen the progress people have made in knowing how to handle this issue gracefully. I fully expected Martin to acknowledge that you can accommodate someone's food allergies by making something they can eat or letting them bring their own dish, but she never even mentions the possibility of this. She writes glowingly about the joy of eating tacos and the magic of sharing a meal, but she never acknowledges the discomfort and exclusion that people experience when food they can't eat becomes the centerpiece of fellowship and they're expected to partake or rain on everyone's parade.
Conclusion
Start with Hello will appeal greatly to the author's following, and people who are new to her work can also benefit from her wise advice and touching stories. However, I often felt like an outsider because I'm not familiar with Martin's blog, and I wish that she had fully explained and unpacked all of the references that she made to social issues, so that this could fully function as the on-ramp she intended it to be for people who are new to these conversations. I am also disappointed that a current book about hospitality didn't acknowledge food allergies at all. I truly enjoyed elements of this book, and I think it will be helpful to many people, but I can only recommend it with caveats.
I received a free copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
July 19, 2023
Genres: Nonfiction/Christian Living/Self-help
We recently moved so I thought I'd pick this up. It is mostly common sense. I liked some of this and I could appreciate her message about getting out there and meeting your neighbors.
Mostly, however, it felt like her target audience was strictly limited to white, middle class women who live exclusively in a white world and who don't get out much. That's fine but it automatically limits the audience. To me this felt more like a plea to them.
Race, marital status and religion are big issues where I live. People decide pretty quickly, once they have the answer to those, whether you're going to be allowed into the inner sanctum. I wish the author discussed these walls/barriers because they are usually armed fortresses that seem impenetrable. Now that would be a book I'd want to read. So 3 stars.
We recently moved so I thought I'd pick this up. It is mostly common sense. I liked some of this and I could appreciate her message about getting out there and meeting your neighbors.
Mostly, however, it felt like her target audience was strictly limited to white, middle class women who live exclusively in a white world and who don't get out much. That's fine but it automatically limits the audience. To me this felt more like a plea to them.
Race, marital status and religion are big issues where I live. People decide pretty quickly, once they have the answer to those, whether you're going to be allowed into the inner sanctum. I wish the author discussed these walls/barriers because they are usually armed fortresses that seem impenetrable. Now that would be a book I'd want to read. So 3 stars.
August 4, 2025
I absolutely loved everything about this book. This should be required reading for everyone. A quick and dirty summary is, this book will help you be a better neighbor, will help you get out of your own head, will make you want to grow your empathy, take action and open your eyes to all the unused connections around you. Fabulous and inspiring. I definitely plan to recommend this to others and to re-read again.
October 3, 2022
This was a joy to read! I’m a bit in awe of Shannan’s ability to write chapters that can make me LOL, challenge my thinking of poverty or “otherness,” pause to savor the beauty of her words and our world, AND shoot off a text as a baby step toward connection. Her personality shining through the book is itself a beacon of hope that there are delightful people around us, we need only start with hello 😘.
The timing of this book was something of a small miracle for me. I’d JUST had a conversation with a psychologist about the importance of providing more opportunities for my 3rd graders friends to come over/get together outside of school. Which had honestly made my heart sink. As a working mom of two very active and creative girls, I feel a bit hopeless at keeping my home “drop-in” ready for company. I shared something to that effect when I started this book, and let me tell you that the number of women, who I literally have hesitated to invite over because of my embarrassment over my home, who replied “me too” was shocking. And a bit freeing. That, plus devouring this book, have set me a bit more free.
Will I always have enough papers with doodles scattered around my dining table, dishes piled in my sink (overflowing to mt counters), and dirt tracked in my sunroom? Probably. Will I push past the urge to apologize or, worse, not invite folks in at all? Yes, yes, yes. Because: awake > asleep, windows > mirrors, open door > perfect decor, familiar > fussy AND connection is what we are created for…it’s worth it. People are more important that my vanity.
Thank you, Shannan for reminding us all to open our eyes, our doors and our hearts!
The timing of this book was something of a small miracle for me. I’d JUST had a conversation with a psychologist about the importance of providing more opportunities for my 3rd graders friends to come over/get together outside of school. Which had honestly made my heart sink. As a working mom of two very active and creative girls, I feel a bit hopeless at keeping my home “drop-in” ready for company. I shared something to that effect when I started this book, and let me tell you that the number of women, who I literally have hesitated to invite over because of my embarrassment over my home, who replied “me too” was shocking. And a bit freeing. That, plus devouring this book, have set me a bit more free.
Will I always have enough papers with doodles scattered around my dining table, dishes piled in my sink (overflowing to mt counters), and dirt tracked in my sunroom? Probably. Will I push past the urge to apologize or, worse, not invite folks in at all? Yes, yes, yes. Because: awake > asleep, windows > mirrors, open door > perfect decor, familiar > fussy AND connection is what we are created for…it’s worth it. People are more important that my vanity.
Thank you, Shannan for reminding us all to open our eyes, our doors and our hearts!
December 28, 2022
A lot of good stuff in there, but also contradictions such as saying we need to get past the “lie” of feeling like we have to bring something to someone’s house and in another chapter explaining why it’s important to let people contribute to gatherings by bringing things.
The main part of this book that irked me is that the book felt like it was only for people of her background, which is quite ironic when so much of it is focused on opening yourself up to people unlike you. Too many statements that were only about her experience came across as definite facts, making it hard to process what she was saying as someone with a different background.
The main part of this book that irked me is that the book felt like it was only for people of her background, which is quite ironic when so much of it is focused on opening yourself up to people unlike you. Too many statements that were only about her experience came across as definite facts, making it hard to process what she was saying as someone with a different background.
February 5, 2023
Our friends have such a powerful way with words. The wisdom just shines through these pages, both in reflection and in hope for the future. I am proud of you, Shannan, and the work you are doing, leading the rest of us by example.
November 14, 2022
If I were to write a book about getting to know your neighbors it would probably have to be called Start with Google. Luckily I didn't write this book, Shannan did. She included lots of stories of ways she has connected with her neighbors and ideas for small steps we can take toward connection in our own neighborhoods. I underlined so many things and will be referring back to this book again and again. I definitely recommend it for anyone who wants to find meaningful connections right where they live.
Read
October 10, 2022I don’t know how she does it, but we’re three books in to Shannan Martin, and she continues to walk some magic tightrope between challenge and humor that leaves you feeling like anything in the world is possible.
Shannan’s neighborhood is a twin of mine, and while her writing is filled specifically with stories and suggestions about being a good neighbor, the concepts transcend the idea of neighborly-ness.
The title alone - Start With Hello - strips things down to their easiest first step so there is no reason to say no. Yes is possible, over and over again. Yes to believing a wave and a smile matters. Yes to finding people to eat with. Yes to new friends. Yes to people who don’t speak our language.
The book officially releases this week - I got an early copy as a member of the launch team. You’re so impressed.
Buy it! Read it!
Shannan’s neighborhood is a twin of mine, and while her writing is filled specifically with stories and suggestions about being a good neighbor, the concepts transcend the idea of neighborly-ness.
The title alone - Start With Hello - strips things down to their easiest first step so there is no reason to say no. Yes is possible, over and over again. Yes to believing a wave and a smile matters. Yes to finding people to eat with. Yes to new friends. Yes to people who don’t speak our language.
The book officially releases this week - I got an early copy as a member of the launch team. You’re so impressed.
Buy it! Read it!
October 4, 2022
“Until everyone has hope, no one does.” This lofty statement is found in the last pages of this book. However, it has feet for walking because Shannan anchored this book with practical ways for connecting with those around us.
I’ve pored over all of the author’s writing, and this was no exception. I appreciated her chapter titles that were all similar in format and clear. I will be able to find specific passages easily, already knowing that I’ll return to these words again and again.
Shannan’s writing voice is so distinct, but her in-person words are the same. She will go down saying the same simple mantra: baby steps- admire the sky, take a walk, say hello. (Fun fact: on the cover of the book, the letters have photos of the sky as their fill!)
If you agree that the recipe for a better world should include trust, connection, and shared humanity, then you need this book. Shannan demonstrates, with awkwardness and missteps, how to live as neighbors (as we are called to love) even if we too are introverts!
I’ve pored over all of the author’s writing, and this was no exception. I appreciated her chapter titles that were all similar in format and clear. I will be able to find specific passages easily, already knowing that I’ll return to these words again and again.
Shannan’s writing voice is so distinct, but her in-person words are the same. She will go down saying the same simple mantra: baby steps- admire the sky, take a walk, say hello. (Fun fact: on the cover of the book, the letters have photos of the sky as their fill!)
If you agree that the recipe for a better world should include trust, connection, and shared humanity, then you need this book. Shannan demonstrates, with awkwardness and missteps, how to live as neighbors (as we are called to love) even if we too are introverts!
December 6, 2022
i loveddddd Shannan’s first book ‘The Ministry of Ordinary Places’ — it’s a 5-star read for me and one i adore and cherish immensely, so i was excited to grab her newest book ‘Start with Hello’. and unfortunately, as much as i wanted to adore it, it completely missed the mark for me. it could be the season of my life, or my own heart posture towards hospitality, but what was meant to be a simple premise of truly starting with hello and loving and knowing neighbors and friends, really felt chaotic, jumbled and watered-down. for me, it just wasn’t my personal favorite, and i’d recommend her other book, ‘The Ministry of Ordinary Places’ as a substitute for this book (with the same undertones of loving our neighbors and living where our feet are) in a heartbeat! it could be just me, so take this with a grain of salt!
October 31, 2022
I truly enjoyed this book and the ideas the author shared.
She has a daughter named Ruby! And, the family lives in Goshen, Indiana!
A local group: The Woke Grandpas!
Does this book make me want to entertain at home?
History is what we need to know, and nostalgia is what we want to hear.
"The gunk clogging your drain might look different but we've all got some."
She has a daughter named Ruby! And, the family lives in Goshen, Indiana!
A local group: The Woke Grandpas!
Does this book make me want to entertain at home?
History is what we need to know, and nostalgia is what we want to hear.
"The gunk clogging your drain might look different but we've all got some."
Read
February 19, 2023Mixed feelings. Christ was glaringly absent from any mention in this book.
October 21, 2022
If you know anything about my history, then you already know that the word "tenderness" is significant in my life. So, it's likely not a surprise that by the time I made my way to the chapter "Tender > Tough" in Shannan Martin's "Start with Hello (And Other Simple Ways to Live as Neighbors)" that I was fully immersed in Martin's fiercely inspiring, relentlessly hopeful, and downright neighborly world.
I've felt a certain kinship with Martin since first discovering her presence via social media and subsequently trying to absorb anything and everything she writes. It could be partly that she resides in my own home state of Indiana, though I'm a couple of hours away from her in the big city while she's firmly planted in one of my favorite places in Indiana - Elkhart County.
For the author of "The Ministry of Ordinary Places," it probably shouldn't be surprising that "Start with Hello" is, well, ordinary. Martin's writing is relatable. You can't help but get the feeling that with Martin what you see is what you get though, of course, I'm sure there's a little bit of editing involved. However, I've thought on more than one occasion if I ever ran into Martin on an Elkhart County street or somewhere along my beloved Pumpkinvine Trail that her greeting would likely sound almost exactly like the voice I imagine as I'm reading along with this simple path to a more connected life.
That sounds a little pretentious or weird, doesn't it? It's not like Martin promises some miraculous development of a family or family of choice or community or whatever. When she says "simple path," she's not so much making guarantees as she's simply saying that there are rather basic ways we can open ourselves to community and to a more connected existence.
In late 2019, I experienced a hospitalization that would lead to my third amputation. While I was already a wheelchair user due to spina bifida, this left me off work for 3+ months and having to re-learn a good amount of my daily living skills. My carefully constructed life of "independence" began to fracture and, quite honestly, I kind of liked it (not the losing a limb part, of course!).
After years of being somewhat embarrassed by the condition of my home, my lack of housekeeping skills, a body that can be wildly unpredictable, and more, suddenly I was in a situation where I needed the presence of people if I was going to return to the quality of life I cherished.
So, I opened my door. I let people, including some new friends, come in to visit. I was a little more honest about my unpredictable body. I acknowledged areas of need and acknowledged the ways in which my abilities had been changed by this recent health crisis.
And I survived. I even thrived. I eventually started figuring out how to get back into my car. I figured out, at least for the most part, my ADLs and how to return to work. Life was different, but it became even better because after years of either isolating or putting on a show I showed up honestly and found that I didn't have to be nearly as alone as I'd always believed.
While "Start with Hello" doesn't deal much with the disability challenge of starting with hello (Martin does include it, though there were a couple "simple ways" that wouldn't be quite so simple for, say, a wheelchair user), but Martin's brand of building community is one that values honesty, vulnerability, simplicity, and choosing tenderness over toughness.
At one point, I realized that I wasn't experiencing a lot of "razzle-dazzle" with "Start with Hello." Yet, by the end of the book that was exactly what I appreciated about it. I didn't really laugh or cry a whole lot - instead, by the time the closing pages came around I found myself feeling connected to this writer I've grown to greatly appreciate and I found myself encouraged, comforted, inspired, and motivated to open my doors, open my heart, be real, and to actively seek opportunities to be more connected in my daily life.
In "Start with Hello," Martin addresses a variety of topics with a gentle can-do spirit and an awareness that everyone has a different path with different obstacles and circumstances. She writes with such a warm humanity that "Start with Hello" feels like she's holding space for all of us to venture into this unknown and take a few risks toward a more connected life.
Martin is a successful writer who works at a soup kitchen. This seems like the perfect description for how she writes, a unique combination of knowledge, faith, and presence that feels so honest it's almost jarring.
Perfect? Delightfully not. There are some writers who seem to want to dazzle you with their expertise wisdom. Shannan Martin? She seems to want to share her life because it creates space for all of us to do the same.
A relatively short and definitely inspired read, "Start with Hello" is a faith-inspired and incredibly motivating book for those who want to develop a stronger community, broaden the family tree, build a longer table, or simply not feel so alone all the time. With wisdom and compassion, Martin lets us all know that we all need and deserve to be connected and, yes, it all starts with a willingness to say hello.
I've felt a certain kinship with Martin since first discovering her presence via social media and subsequently trying to absorb anything and everything she writes. It could be partly that she resides in my own home state of Indiana, though I'm a couple of hours away from her in the big city while she's firmly planted in one of my favorite places in Indiana - Elkhart County.
For the author of "The Ministry of Ordinary Places," it probably shouldn't be surprising that "Start with Hello" is, well, ordinary. Martin's writing is relatable. You can't help but get the feeling that with Martin what you see is what you get though, of course, I'm sure there's a little bit of editing involved. However, I've thought on more than one occasion if I ever ran into Martin on an Elkhart County street or somewhere along my beloved Pumpkinvine Trail that her greeting would likely sound almost exactly like the voice I imagine as I'm reading along with this simple path to a more connected life.
That sounds a little pretentious or weird, doesn't it? It's not like Martin promises some miraculous development of a family or family of choice or community or whatever. When she says "simple path," she's not so much making guarantees as she's simply saying that there are rather basic ways we can open ourselves to community and to a more connected existence.
In late 2019, I experienced a hospitalization that would lead to my third amputation. While I was already a wheelchair user due to spina bifida, this left me off work for 3+ months and having to re-learn a good amount of my daily living skills. My carefully constructed life of "independence" began to fracture and, quite honestly, I kind of liked it (not the losing a limb part, of course!).
After years of being somewhat embarrassed by the condition of my home, my lack of housekeeping skills, a body that can be wildly unpredictable, and more, suddenly I was in a situation where I needed the presence of people if I was going to return to the quality of life I cherished.
So, I opened my door. I let people, including some new friends, come in to visit. I was a little more honest about my unpredictable body. I acknowledged areas of need and acknowledged the ways in which my abilities had been changed by this recent health crisis.
And I survived. I even thrived. I eventually started figuring out how to get back into my car. I figured out, at least for the most part, my ADLs and how to return to work. Life was different, but it became even better because after years of either isolating or putting on a show I showed up honestly and found that I didn't have to be nearly as alone as I'd always believed.
While "Start with Hello" doesn't deal much with the disability challenge of starting with hello (Martin does include it, though there were a couple "simple ways" that wouldn't be quite so simple for, say, a wheelchair user), but Martin's brand of building community is one that values honesty, vulnerability, simplicity, and choosing tenderness over toughness.
At one point, I realized that I wasn't experiencing a lot of "razzle-dazzle" with "Start with Hello." Yet, by the end of the book that was exactly what I appreciated about it. I didn't really laugh or cry a whole lot - instead, by the time the closing pages came around I found myself feeling connected to this writer I've grown to greatly appreciate and I found myself encouraged, comforted, inspired, and motivated to open my doors, open my heart, be real, and to actively seek opportunities to be more connected in my daily life.
In "Start with Hello," Martin addresses a variety of topics with a gentle can-do spirit and an awareness that everyone has a different path with different obstacles and circumstances. She writes with such a warm humanity that "Start with Hello" feels like she's holding space for all of us to venture into this unknown and take a few risks toward a more connected life.
Martin is a successful writer who works at a soup kitchen. This seems like the perfect description for how she writes, a unique combination of knowledge, faith, and presence that feels so honest it's almost jarring.
Perfect? Delightfully not. There are some writers who seem to want to dazzle you with their expertise wisdom. Shannan Martin? She seems to want to share her life because it creates space for all of us to do the same.
A relatively short and definitely inspired read, "Start with Hello" is a faith-inspired and incredibly motivating book for those who want to develop a stronger community, broaden the family tree, build a longer table, or simply not feel so alone all the time. With wisdom and compassion, Martin lets us all know that we all need and deserve to be connected and, yes, it all starts with a willingness to say hello.
January 10, 2023
Inspiring, quick read to encourage you to meet your neighbours and not worry about how tidy your house is when you invite others into it (or, how to clean it quickly).
November 4, 2022
I've followed Martin online for years and always appreciated much about her writing and her skill definitely shines through on each page. Throughout the book Martin has a style that feels very authentic and conversational. It just feels appropriate that a book on living well as neighbours and authentic community reads like sitting down in the kitchen over tea and having a conversation filled with questions, advice, and story. Martin is a storyteller through and through finding the beauty in everyday moments and interactions. The stories are inspiring in that Martin weaves them out of such ordinary space that finding your own such moments and interactions feels achievable and natural.
I also appreciated how Martin focused on simplifying connection for readers, how to focus less on presentation in favour or presence and how to live vulnerably and openly within healthy trust. There wasn't anything terribly new in these pages but the book is a helpful refresher on the basics of living well with others.
That said, there was a lot that just, personally, missed the mark for me in this particular book in this season. Although Martin has done a lot of work expanding her horizons beyond her own worldview and privilege that work hasn't yet crossed into disabled perspectives based on what I found in this book.
For example, in one chapter, Martin advocates for humanizing people by using person first language among other things but in the disabled community many dislike person first language due to a complicated past, it's always safer to ask. It felt out of place to see advice like this as a statement, especially considering a previous chapter on listening.
Throughout the book, Martin talks about challenging her introverted nature and getting out there, finding ways to connect with her neighbours through walks, service, daily routines like walking to school. Martin book was peppered with stories at how these daily routines gave room for moments of connection that eventually lead to deeper community. However, there were no alternatives for those with disabilities that might prevent that, no gentle awareness that the tasks she suggests may not be an option right now. I was actually surprised how much of the book focused on simply getting out and being aware.
Much of Martin's book felt geared towards reclaiming prepandemic rhythms and even spoke of getting back to normal with gatherings or past terminology but many I know in the disabled community are still in various levels of isolation or with reduced capacity due delayed treatments or long covid. Even in Martin's expanded circle of awareness it felt hard to see space for safe and accessible connection with current events.
While I still appreciate Martin's voice on so many topics this book just fell short in my experience.
3 out of 5 stars
Book was provided courtesy of Graf-Martin Communications, Inc. and Baker Publishing Group.
I also appreciated how Martin focused on simplifying connection for readers, how to focus less on presentation in favour or presence and how to live vulnerably and openly within healthy trust. There wasn't anything terribly new in these pages but the book is a helpful refresher on the basics of living well with others.
That said, there was a lot that just, personally, missed the mark for me in this particular book in this season. Although Martin has done a lot of work expanding her horizons beyond her own worldview and privilege that work hasn't yet crossed into disabled perspectives based on what I found in this book.
For example, in one chapter, Martin advocates for humanizing people by using person first language among other things but in the disabled community many dislike person first language due to a complicated past, it's always safer to ask. It felt out of place to see advice like this as a statement, especially considering a previous chapter on listening.
Throughout the book, Martin talks about challenging her introverted nature and getting out there, finding ways to connect with her neighbours through walks, service, daily routines like walking to school. Martin book was peppered with stories at how these daily routines gave room for moments of connection that eventually lead to deeper community. However, there were no alternatives for those with disabilities that might prevent that, no gentle awareness that the tasks she suggests may not be an option right now. I was actually surprised how much of the book focused on simply getting out and being aware.
Much of Martin's book felt geared towards reclaiming prepandemic rhythms and even spoke of getting back to normal with gatherings or past terminology but many I know in the disabled community are still in various levels of isolation or with reduced capacity due delayed treatments or long covid. Even in Martin's expanded circle of awareness it felt hard to see space for safe and accessible connection with current events.
While I still appreciate Martin's voice on so many topics this book just fell short in my experience.
3 out of 5 stars
Book was provided courtesy of Graf-Martin Communications, Inc. and Baker Publishing Group.
January 28, 2024
Shannon Martin challenges me to be a better neighbor, to resist the idea of needing a clean or perfect home to show hospitality, & that seemingly small, ordinary encounters really do matter. 4 ⭐️
October 13, 2022
I recently moved and have been looking for new connections, so Start With Hello was immediately appealing. It did not disappoint. It’s encouraging and challenging. We all have neighbors. We all want good relationships. Start With Hello is practical and also conceptual. How do we get to know our neighbors? Why do we want and need those relationships? You’ll find out here. Highly recommended.
October 12, 2022
Shannon just gets what it is like to live in America today. She is clear, kind and aware. She is challenging, gives practical ways to connect and she is just fun to read. Thank you Shannon for your books - this one and all the others. Thank you for thinking in the box and out of the box. Thank you for being real.
October 24, 2022
A call to better know and care for our neighbors and community. Martin is a relatable introvert who has still found ways to connect with the people around her and it’s had a vibrant impact on her life and theirs. The chapters are a practical guide to different aspects of neighboring and figuring out how to overcome the things that might potentially keep us apart, including the impact of racism and white supremacy. It’s worth reading for this aspect alone. While I found the advice to be more geared toward families and people who live in houses, there’s still a lot that applied to me as a single apartment-dweller. The impact remains to be seen in whether those of us who read it heed the call and change our lives as a result.
Note: I happened to see Shannan Martin right after she’d turned in the manuscript for this book. As much as I adore my friend, I haven’t read her previous books because I don’t read Christian books. But based on the way I’ve seen her live out the art of neighboring and knowing she wanted this to reach a wider, more inclusive audience, I decided to give this one a go. Luckily for me, it wasn’t too Christian-y—it’s clear that Shannan is a person of faith but the few verses included are listed as footnotes. Your mileage may vary.
Content notes: death of friends (cancer), child hit by truck off-page (minor injuries), officer-involved shootings and police brutality, discussion of xenophobia and racism, son was incarcerated, author is transracial adoptive parent, team mascot named after racial slur rebranded to different name, unhoused community, COVID-19, alcohol, brief gender essentialist language, ableist language, mentions of those dealing with substance abuse
Disclosure: I’m friends with the author, who sent me a free copy.
Note: I happened to see Shannan Martin right after she’d turned in the manuscript for this book. As much as I adore my friend, I haven’t read her previous books because I don’t read Christian books. But based on the way I’ve seen her live out the art of neighboring and knowing she wanted this to reach a wider, more inclusive audience, I decided to give this one a go. Luckily for me, it wasn’t too Christian-y—it’s clear that Shannan is a person of faith but the few verses included are listed as footnotes. Your mileage may vary.
Content notes: death of friends (cancer), child hit by truck off-page (minor injuries), officer-involved shootings and police brutality, discussion of xenophobia and racism, son was incarcerated, author is transracial adoptive parent, team mascot named after racial slur rebranded to different name, unhoused community, COVID-19, alcohol, brief gender essentialist language, ableist language, mentions of those dealing with substance abuse
Disclosure: I’m friends with the author, who sent me a free copy.
April 5, 2024
This book was problematic for me, I wasn’t the intended audience which seemed odd that a book about being neighborly was lacking diversity in the intended target audience. If the audience was white, middle class wives and mothers the book is still problematic in that it’s calls and examples of diversity miss the mark. People of color don’t want to be a project, especially not by those infiltrating neighborhoods where one is just trying to live. The fact that you now eat foods from various cultures does not mean you’re making dramatic inroads of diversity. In the end, others still felt glaringly “other” in the way people and situational examples were described.
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January 3, 2023Shannan does it again with her approachable writing and relatable stories! This book is perfect for anyone looking to connect more with their neighbors despite the divisions that are constantly created in our society. I loved Shannan's ideas about how we can form relationships in our current locations and her encouragement to remember that we don't need to be "perfect", take big actions, or spend lots of money. In addition, her stories about how creating community has shaped her life and changed her family really rounded out the book and gave me the confidence to start with hello!
March 1, 2023
It’s been a long time since I’ve read a book… That made me so glad… When it was over. Part of it was the author’s style of writing. It felt to me as though she was trying to wax poetic a bit too much. Trying to make things sound so moving, but it ended up just irritating me. And there were just some things that she said that just didn’t sit right with me.
She did have a handful of good points. That’s why I was generous in giving that one extra star.
This book was not what I thought it would be when I started reading it. Moving on.
She did have a handful of good points. That’s why I was generous in giving that one extra star.
This book was not what I thought it would be when I started reading it. Moving on.
April 25, 2024
The book is labeled as “Christian Living,” but there are very few Biblical references in this book. Not that her ideas are anti-Christian. They aren’t! So why not start with the truths of Scripture (it’s a “Christian” book after all) & then share the practical ways we can live those out? Instead, it’s just personal story after personal story. It comes off as shallow & rather self-applauding.
March 5, 2023
oh shannan. i loved this! perfect follow up to my urban design recent read happy city — i feel enheartened. i liked it a little better than ministry of ordinary places but it was different! i’m a sucker for a practical book and this one was oh so.
to refer to my friend D’s review, i echo that i felt the book could have benefitted from disability/chronic illness/food restriction considerations. these sorts of experiences might require additional creativity in living as neighbors & i think were worthy of some airtime.
to refer to my friend D’s review, i echo that i felt the book could have benefitted from disability/chronic illness/food restriction considerations. these sorts of experiences might require additional creativity in living as neighbors & i think were worthy of some airtime.
July 22, 2025
I forgot how much I LOVE Shannan Martin’s perspective.
This book started off SO strong. I wanted to highlight everything.
The middle dipped a little — got a little social justice-y, which is important to talk about, but just wasn’t what I was expecting from this book.
She just has so much to say about dropping walls, pursuing connection, combatting discomfort, and building meaningful & unified community. It challenges me, and it’s something I believe I will forever be working to get better at.
This book started off SO strong. I wanted to highlight everything.
The middle dipped a little — got a little social justice-y, which is important to talk about, but just wasn’t what I was expecting from this book.
She just has so much to say about dropping walls, pursuing connection, combatting discomfort, and building meaningful & unified community. It challenges me, and it’s something I believe I will forever be working to get better at.
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