More Than You Can See: A Mother's Memoir

by Barbara Rubin

At seventeen, Barbara's daughter Jennifer is in a horrific car accident and sustains a traumatic brain injury that sends her into a two-week coma. Once she awakens, a unique disability presents itself: Jenn lacks any traditional method of communication. Unable to speak or function on her own, Jenn must relearn basic life skills in a rehabilitation facility while Barbara and her family struggle to piece together their lives, now forever changed.

When it becomes clear that Barbara and her husband cannot care for Jenn on their own, they move her to a group home. Over time, three creative, lighthearted women become Jenn's caregivers, and with their support Jenn reenters the community and experiences travel and adventure, all while capturing the hearts of those around her with her engaging and quirky personality.

Despite her disability, Jenn connects with everyone in her life. And Barbara ultimately realizes that Jenn's lack of language doesn't stop her from having a voice. A touching memoir that strikes a delicate balance between sorrow and joy, heartbreak and triumph, More Than You Can See is Barbara's story of moving beyond tragedy and discovering profound and fulfilling life lessons waiting for her on the other side.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir

304 pages, Paperback

Published October 4, 2022

Reviews

[Linda · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read an advanced copy of Barbara's memoir and was grateful for the opportunity to learn about her story. The disabling accident that her teenage daughter suffered is a parent's worst fear. Barbara was grateful her daughter survived and swung into action to do all she could to create a life for Jenn. Maybe without realizing it, Barbara's dedication to her daughter was contagious and spread to a group of caregivers who became family. The story of how the Rubin family navigated the medical, the emotional and the financial challenges is a reminder that you can find the strength when love drives you to solve problems. A wonderful memoir for anyone who faces these problems and those who want to support them.

[Aaron · Rating 5 out of 5]

‘More Than You Can See’ is an incredible book about a family committing themselves to providing their daughter with the best life possible, and the women who helped to make that a reality. This memoir is heartbreaking at times, but always highlights the importance of family, inherited or chosen. Barbara tells this story as if she is your friend. Can’t recommend this book enough.

[CR · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have learned over the years that it takes more than blood to be family. This is a testament to how you might lose something but you do not have to lose yourself. This is a must read memoir that you will not be able to put down.

[Nursebookie · Rating 5 out of 5]

TITLE: More Than You Can See
AUTHOR: Barbara Rubin
PUB DATE: 10.04.2022 Now Available

In my work as a Neuroscience Nurse, I deal with a lot of traumatic brain injury patients - many of whom are older adults. I can only imagine how it would be like to be seventeen and so impaired unable to speak, lose independence, and life as you know it changes for not only yourself but also for your family.

Rubin beautifully tells the story of her experience as she navigates a mothers’ worst nightmare, a child with TBI, the complex healthcare system, and financial challenges. This is perfect read for anyone going through these or members of the healthcare community to learn more about the other patient care experience side. I found this book illuminating, inspiring, and thought provoking.

[Christine Higgins · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was lucky enough to read an advance reader copy of this beautifully written memoir. This story not only includes value for special needs population with a enormous amount of useful information, it also shows that family isn’t always blood.
I believe this memoir will help people understand more about brain injury as readers follow a loving mother’s tragic journey and how she navigates through uncharted waters.
Heartbreaking and beautiful, one of the best books I’ve ever read. The excellent and brutally honest writing draws you in and you share the pain and sadness with the author so vividly. Barbara is an inspirational woman and writer - which makes for a great book!

This book should be a required read in every library of medical institutions and rehabilitation centers that treat brain injuries.

[Robyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you @booksparks and #barbararubin for this #gifted ARC.

The phone call no parent ever wants to receive, the hospital room full of beeping machines, doctors rushing in and out, the worry of not knowing, the anxiety of waiting for news/updates, the fear of just how serious critical condition, of how fragile life truly is, of how so much can change in a split second.

Oh my goodness this book.... I knew it would be a difficult read at times but my goodness, it hit home hard and had me in tears. Barbara shares her story as a mom who suddenly faces every parent's worst nightmare of something happening to their child. Her daughter, Jenn, was in a severe car accident and sustained a traumatic brain injury. Barbara is brutally honest, she doesn't sugar coat anything, she doesn't polish up the "not so pretty" details, she shares her sadness, her pain, the turmoil and heartbreak as well as the joy and achievements. The hospital staff reminded me of the staff that took care of my friend who was a heart patient. They aren't just "hospital staff", they become family.

Jenn truly does touch so many lives and we can all learn so much from her.

Having a loved one suffer a brain injury, figuring out what comes next and how to adjust life is something most of us will never experience and those who do, discover how much uncertainty awaits them. Barbara navigates those confusing times and takes us right along with her. She shares how this all impacts Jenn, herself and the entire family. She shares unpleasant encounters, struggles and triumphs. More Than You Can See is emotional, inspirational and an absolute must read!

#booksparks #fallpopup #morethanyoucansee

[Lyn Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

I cannot begin to imagine how difficult it would have been to write this book but I am so grateful that Barbara was encouraged to tell her story. By sharing a story nobody wants to experience, Barbara provided an insight for me into how resilient people are when they have no alternative. I have a broader understanding now of the impact of traumatic brain injuries, not just on the patient but also the family. There were many challenges that Barbara mentioned that I did not previously consider. While I have always considered myself someone who is accepting of others, I am grateful for the things that Barbara made me aware of that I might not have known otherwise. Education and understanding creates awareness and consideration of others.

[Casey Gale · Rating 5 out of 5]

More Than You Can See
By Barbara Rubin

Thank you @booksparks for the gifted copy of More Than You Can See.

A memoir that had me fully engaged from the first pages. As a mother to a young daughter I was right there with Barbara experiencing the tragic call that changed her families life. Opening our heart to the wondrous world of loving and living with our eyes wide open. Thank you for sharing a private journey that certainly impacted me with a very strong life lesson. Jen is an inspiration, this book stays with you. Definitely a beautiful representation of the human spirit and goodness all around, a true gift. Embracing each day even when life does not go as planned.

#fallpopup

[Denise Cuesta · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is both heartbreaking and heartwarming. Barbara Rubin shares her journey after her daughter suffers a traumatic brain injury from a devastating car accident. The book takes us along her path facing the fears, difficulties, challenges and triumphs of caring for a disabled loved one. You will cry, but you will also laugh out loud! This is a must read for anyone who is a care taker, or a friend or family member of a special needs person. By the end of the book, you will be amazed by the devoted care takers and the tenacious love of a mother who was determined to give her daughter the best life possible.

[Morgan Marie · Rating 5 out of 5]

“My daughter, despite her extreme disabilities, would affect so many lives in a positive way.”

An extremely moving and emotional memoir about family, love, grief, friendship, and empathy. Barbara tells the story of her eldest daughter, Jenn, who sustained a traumatic brain injury from a car accident and the effects this has on Jenn, her family, and her friends.

I cannot even describe how touched I was by reading these pages. Barbara is open and honest in her experiences and feelings after this tragedy, but her unwavering love for Jenn shines through in every way. Jenn teaches so many lessons and shines her light throughout this memoir and with everyone she encounters.

I really appreciate how much the story focuses on the importance of being empathetic and accepting. Reading about some of the ways people in public would treat or look at Jenn was extremely heartbreaking. However, reading about how the staff members who worked with Jenn treated her like family was absolutely beautiful.

Thank you @BookSparks & #BarbaraEubin for this gifted ARC (publication date: October 4, 2022). #FallPopUp #MoreThanYouCanSee

[Virginia Schott · Rating 5 out of 5]

Barbara gets the call that no mother wants to hear - her daughter was involved in a car accident and now has a traumatic brain injury. Her memoir involves her life after the accident, as well as a tragic ending to the story.

This novel hits home. About two weeks ago, two boys that my sons played with all summer at camp were involved in a very serious car accident. I thought about them so much each day and prayed for them. Life can change in the matter of seconds.

I applaud Barbara for having the courage to tell her story, and this is a must read for anyone.

[Nidhi Shrivastava · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you @BookSparks and Barbara Rubin for the gifted copy of MORE THAN YOU CAN SEE.

Thoughts 💭: Memoirs continue to remain my favorite genre. In this powerful and compelling memoir, we are made aware of a mother’s journey as she copes with the aftermath after her eldest daughter, Jenn, meets with a horrific car accident which leaves her with a traumatic brain injury. Throughout the book as Rubin shares her account, she is raw and honest drawing her readers in with this terrible situation she has to face. In doing so, not only does she underscore the value of family, loss, grief, and explores how disability is and continues to be seen within our society. There were moments in this book, which were heart breaking especially the ways in which Jenn was treated after the accident.

Although this memoir is a love letter of a mother to her daughter, I am sharing alongside the book, a photograph of my mom. Rubin’s dedication to her daughter and how it manifested into this memoir reminded me of how my mom loved and was giving. She would put other’s need before hers, especially for us children and my dad. Whenever either of us were sick or hurt, she would nurse us to better health. I remember when I had a hand injury that required 2 surgeries during my senior year, I was limited to the couch, and she would treat me to delicious foods and often bring me breakfast from McDonald’s. I used to get sick of home food, and this book was so personal for me in this way.

⁉️: Do you have any fond memories of anyone whom you consider family or your own family?

[Sandy · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting book, but a bit hard to read, because of the subject...
A lively teenager, who after a horrific car accident that caused a traumatic brain injury, changed her life forever as well as her families.
Thanks to the author, Barbara Rubin, for sharing your families story and for my free copy of your insightful book.

[Kristi · Rating 4 out of 5]

“It’s hard to have humor in a family where tragedy has struck…It was difficult at times to see the brighter side of life, and we needed the coping tool of laughter to save our family from total despair.”

At seventeen, Barbara’s daughter Jennifer is in a catastrophic car accident and sustains a traumatic brain injury (TBI). Once she awakens from her coma she is unfortunately left with an inability to communicate in any traditional sense. This memoir is Barbara’s story of how her family coped both during and in the years following their tragedy.

A mother’s love, man. A mother’s love. ❤️

This book, despite the underlying tragedy, is a testament to what love and perseverance can accomplish. I work in healthcare and take care of TBI patients daily. They are some of the most challenging as they are impulsive and can be spastic and, thus, unintentionally violent. But what Barbara did for her daughter was create the best life she possibly could given her limitations, and that was no small feat. Simply amazing and so incredibly inspiring.

If you are looking for a heartwarming story about the healing power of love, look no further.

Thank you @booksparks and #BarbaraRubin for this #gifted #FallPopUp copy!

[Lisa Albright · Rating 5 out of 5]

This beautifully written memoir brought back so many memories for me as my Dad suffered a traumatic brain injury and was in a coma for over 2 weeks. My mother and I were his caregivers along with the many doctors, nurses, and therapists that we came to know as our lives changed dramatically. Barbara is incredibly honest about the challenges they face as she tells their story and while heartbreaking as a whole, the gratitude for those pieces and moments of triumph, laughter, and love shared together can bring the most profound peace and joy. This book is a testament to a mother's love and commitment to give her daughter the best care and quality of life possible.

I received a gifted copy in exchange for an honest review.

[Debbie Rozier · Rating 5 out of 5]

Barbara begins this memoir with a call no one wants to get. Her 17 year old daughter, Jenn, had been in a car accident.

The memoir shares Jenn’s life post accident with a traumatic head injury. Jenn is able to walk but remains nonverbal.

Barbara tells about Jenn’s staff that are more than caregivers. They all merge into one family unit. Jenn enjoys travel experiences and spending holidays with these loving caregivers and their families.

I love the way this story is told. Barbara shares Jenn’s post accident personality with wonderful stories. She also hits on hard topics such as the lawsuit against the driver that caused the accident.

I think the main takeaway I got from this well written memoir is that Barbara begins to realize she can’t fix Jenn to be like her pre-accident self. She begins to appreciate and enjoy the post accident Jenn.

Barbara scatters photos throughout the read. That is always a favorite part of nonfiction books for me.

[Amy O’Connor · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is such a beautiful page turner. Barbara made me laugh and cry, but most of all understand the power of love, friendship, and family. I highly recommend this book to all readers!

[Debra Oconnor · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! Just finished the book last night and was really touched by its words, honesty, authenticity, insight, and especially the “characters” in the book! It was so well written and kept my interest (unlike other memoirs I have read). I had no idea about the complexity and immense challenges your family faced following Jenn’s accident. Even though I just read the book, I still cannot imagine what life was like after such a tragedy. What was made beautifully clear, however, was how Jenn touched so many lives in a meaningful and deep way. Jenn was and still is a gift to your family, her extended families and now, to those who know her story.

Thank you for sharing your heart and soul through this book, Barb. As humans, stories are important for us to share. They connect us at a deeper level and help us live a life other than the superficial life that we so often get caught up living. My life experience has shown me that it is the crises and dark times in our lives that invite us to learn, grow, integrate and connect with ourselves, with that which is larger than ourselves (whatever name one gives to that phenomenon/reality), and with each other. Also, I have learned that those who do choose to take the time and energy to explore those dark times, are the ones who possess a greater capacity for joy, for depth and for breadth of life experience. It has been a privilege to read your story and to know Amy and your family from this memoir perspective. It now has become a part of me too.

Indeed, there is “More Than You Can See” in life and for me, when we remember just that, the abundance and richness of life is infinite!

Be well and thanks again for the dedication and energy it took to bring this story out into the world.

[Hillary · Rating 4 out of 5]

It takes a lot of guts to write a book like this. It starts out as every parent's nightmare: your child the victim of a horrible car accident. Barbara Rubin, the author, and mom of Jenn Rubin, the child, takes us step by step through the first days, weeks, months in an organized and carefully described manner. Again, a nightmare.

After Jenn survives the crash, Barbara continues on, relating the legal issues, the financial issues, and the trials of finding appropriate care for her and her husband, Mark's, daughter. No one plans for this. No one does research on various medical treatments...until they need to. I cannot imagine what this was like.

The bulk of the book takes the reader through Jenn's recovery, re-learning process, and the changes she goes through, as do the family and others in their lives. The epilogue is a helpful wrap-up with Barbara looking back on the almost twenty years of Jenn's second life. It allows Barbara to examine her own journey, and offers some additional perspective. Because, yes, Jenn dies from a seizure . The epilogue also explains, I think, the title.

The writing is organized and serviceable, but this book is not meant to be great literature. Still, because I found it so enlightening and, yes, emotionally wrenching, I gave it four stars. I read this book for my book club. Next month, Barbara Rubin will join our meeting virtually to talk with us. I look forward to that.

[2manybooks2littletime · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to my partners, Suzy Approved Book Tours and She Writes Press, and the author. I appreciate the gifted paperback, and I am leaving this review voluntarily!

1. 𝐇𝐨𝐨𝐩𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐉𝐮𝐦𝐩 𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 - Some of the expenditures that were questioned by the court were literally unbelievable! The fact that they had to waste precious time and funds to argue them was just asinine!

2. 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐈𝐭 𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 - Barbara’s persistence to make Jenn’s life as fulfilled as possible was admirable. I feel like many people just go with what is already available, but Barb gave everything to allow her daughter to live her new life to the fullest.

3. 𝐄𝐦𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 - What a great reminder to be patient and accepting of everyone. Each person deserves to have experiences in life, and it is imperative that the rest of the human race allow some leeway for everyone else. And be like Chris and Suzanne - they found a best friend in Jenn and I loved every moment of it!

4. 𝐔𝐧𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 - I don’t know how many times I looked at my own children as I read this story and had tears come to my eyes. Life is so scary and can change in an instance.

5. 𝐋𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐋𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐭 - I feel like the main theme of this story is to live each day like it’s your last. Take advantage of every opportunity to have have experiences with those that you hold dear.

[Susan Ballard (subakkabookstuff) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Memoirs like this are some of the hardest for me to read - one that comes from a mother’s heart.

At only seventeen, Barbara’s daughter Jenn was in a horrible car accident that left her with a traumatic brain injury.

Jenn is left unable to speak and has to relearn basic skills. Barbara and her family soon learn they need help caring for Jenn full-time. These caregivers, over time, become just like family as Jenn wins a place in their hearts.

My greatest fear is something happening to my kids, so my heart went out to Barbara and her family. I appreciate that Barbara is very honest with her feelings: how she tried to recapture the pre-accident Jenn, how this affected the family, the struggles with the accident’s lawsuit, and also the joys of treasured moments with Jenn.

You will learn valuable information on Traumatic Brain Injuries (TBI) and the importance of having the needed support and celebrating each moment.


Thank you @suzyapprovedbooktours and @barbara_rubin_author, for a spot on tour and a gifted book.

[Connie · Rating 2 out of 5]

While Barbara's experience was no doubt painful, this was a woman with money on her side. Jenn was lucky enough to experience her injury with unlimited funds yet it still never made her good enough for her mother again. This woman never accepted her child in life once she was injured and made it clear that in her eyes Jenn was better than everyone else Jenn lived with.
Money and micromanaging still never helped her poor daughter to go back to the way she was and she still died at a very young age.
A whole chapter dedicated to how this woman gad to find a hobby to fill her time or how they had their daughter exhumed and moves to another state when they moved. Come on. Do something positive to help other brain injury survivors, help increase funding or help develop rehabilitation plans, dedicate your time and effort into something that doesn't benefit you.

[J.A. Stein · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a hard book to rate, only because it's not a fun one. It is a true, deep, emotional story about a heart-wrenching situation, that of a daughter with a brain injury. It is beautifully told with all the highs and lows. I laughed, I cried. I read the whole thing in one day. Most moving of all was seeing the impact this story had on the ladies in my book club, many of whom could relate in some way. It's the kind of book that hopefully helps other families going through this kind of trauma.

[Rita Stern · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just finished reading this wonderful book. I am a Development Director for a nonprofit, Mind Your Brain Foundation. I wanted to read a book about a family who experienced a traumatic brain injury within their family. I came across this book while I was researching local authors. I finished the book over two days. Essentially, I could not put it down because it was so engaging and inspiring. I recommend this book to anyone who has a friend, caregiver, or family member who experienced a traumatic brain injury. Barbara draws in the reader and you don't want to put the book down.

[Booksandcoffeemx · Rating 4 out of 5]

𝘌𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭, 𝘱𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨!

What a story, a heartwarming and heartbreaking story about family, love, resilience and strenght. A beautiful story about family love that will capture your heart.

Thank you Suzy Approved Book Tours for this tour invite.

𝗠𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗧𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗖𝗮𝗻 𝗦𝗲𝗲 by Barbara Rubin released yesterday October 4, 2023.

𝗪𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗮 𝘄𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗳𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗼𝗿 𝗮 𝗳𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗳𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁?

https://www.instagram.com/booksandcof...

[Dawnny · Rating 5 out of 5]

This memoir was an emotional journey. A story about a mother, and a family after the daughter is in an accident, and left with a traumatic brain injury. Their journey is heartbreaking but it's also full of hope and determination. This book really shines the light on the challenges of caring for a disabled family member. What a beautiful story of family that stays with you.

Dawnny Ruby
Novels N Latte
Hudson Valley NY

[Christy Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

This compelling memoir was such a good reminder about how one phone call can dramatically change our lives. My heart ached for Barbara and her family especially during all the unknowns in the early days after Jenn’s injury. I greatly admire Barbara’s dedication to making sure her daughter’s life was as fulfilling as possible despite the countless hurdles they were forced to deal with along the way. Overall this was an inspiring and enlightening read and I highly recommend it.

[Marilyn Goncalves · Rating 5 out of 5]

I knew going in that this was going to be a hard one, I did not expect feeling joy as well.
The women who helped to give Jenn the best life possible after a traumatic brain injury, along with her parents are heroes. Barbara, the mother was just flat out honest with the good, the bad and the ugly.
I cannot recommend this memoir enough.

[CAW · Rating 3 out of 5]

A story about a young girl who has a major brain injury and how it changes her life and the lives of those around her. Probably a good idea of everyone to be more compassionate to those who suffer because they are different.

[Christina McComiskie · Rating 5 out of 5]

An unforgettable memoir about love and community caring for a person with a severe TBI. I loved it and can highly recommend it.