Courageous Discomfort: How to Have Important, Brave, Life-Changing Conversations about Race and Racism20 Questions and Answers for Becoming a Better Advocate

by Shanterra McBride, Rosalind Wiseman

An empowering handbook on how to have candid conversations around race and become a better advocate, written by a Black woman and a white woman who ask and answer 20 common, uncomfortable-but-critical questions about racism.

Many people struggle to have honest conversations about race, even those who consider themselves allies or identify as anti-racist. For anyone who wants to have better, more productive discussions, COURAGEOUS DISCOMFORT is an empowering handbook that teaches you how to do just that.

In these pages, authors (and best friends), Shanterra McBride, who is Black, and Rosalind Wiseman, who is white, discuss their own friendship and tap into their decades of anti-racism work to answer the 20 uncomfortable-but-critical questions about race they get asked most often, including:

• Should I see color?
• I'm a good person—how can I be racist?
• What if I say something wrong?
• What kind of apology makes a difference?

These 20 questions-as-chapters invite you into the conversation without judgment and inspire thoughtful reflection and discussion. There will be moments when you will laugh or cringe at the ridiculous or awkward things you read. But the truth is, there is no perfect solution or script for every maybe-racist, sort-of-racist, or blatantly racist situation. And that's OK: making mistakes is just an opportunity to do better next time. But doing this work will empower us to have the relationships we really want to have, including the relationship we want to have with ourselves.

TIMELY BUT PERENNIAL TOPIC: Social justice is a longstanding, perennial issue but has entered the vanguard of national discourse in recent years. For anyone hungry for resources related to being an advocate for diversity and inclusion, COURAGEOUS DISCOMFORT provides an accessible, empowering playbook to follow as you confront and reckon with race-related issues and questions, now and moving forward.

ACCESSIBLE APPROACH: This beautifully designed book stands out from the more academic books in this category like WHITE FRAGILITY and HOW TO BE AN ANTIRACIST. With accessible writing, an organizing principle that invites you into the conversation, and a lovely package, COURAGEOUS DISCOMFORT is user-friendly and can even be given as an inoffensive, helpful gift to friends, relatives, and recent grads.

BLACK AUTHOR + WHITE AUTHOR: Written by a Black and white author pair who have both published books before, this handbook is authentic and credible, but also approachable. The authors' tone and the organization of the book make it feel as if you are part of their candid conversation on race, with someone asking all the uncomfortable, awkward questions that you have asked yourself, or your friends are too scared to ask of you. This Q&A format applies to readers, whether they identify as white or non-white, who have found themselves in similar conversations, unsure of how to handle them.

GREAT FOR BOOK CLUBS: Inspired by a webinar, featuring chapters-as-questions, this book is primed for book clubs. The organization lends itself perfectly to discussion—clubs can pose each question/chapter title, review the thought prompts, and share personal experiences for an enlightening, educational, and productive conversation.

Perfect for:

• People who want to have better, more productive conversations around race and racial issues
• White people who want to be better allies
• Anyone who is focused on social justice, particularly millennials and members of Gen Z
• People who read books like WHITE FRAGILITY, CASTE, and HOW TO BE AN ANTIRACIST

Genres: Nonfiction, Social Justice, History, Race, Politics

Audiobook

Published September 27, 2022

Reviews

[TallieReads · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC! This book provides a framework for navigating conversations about race. A great read for people learning to become a better advocate for POC. It was divided into 20 common questions/situations and how to deal with them in a productive way. A lot of it was pretty basic stuff but could definitely be a great resource, especially for those just starting their journey. For those that are already actively having these conversations it is a good reminder of the importance of action vs. complacence. I enjoyed that it had multiple POV’s and stories to further illustrate to readers the larger effects of what some may think of as “harmless” questions.

[Heather Terrill Stotts · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was lucky enough to receive an advanced reader’s copy of this book. I’ve been a fan of Rosalind Wiseman’s work for a long time. Her Queen Bees and Wannabes book expanded the way I thought about pre-teen and teenage females in my life and my work. This book by Wiseman and Shanterra McBride is one of the books we need right now as educators, activists, and humans. The fact that right away the authors state, “We are two people who love talking about uncomfortable topics…” sets the stage for the depth and helpfulness of this book.

As a teacher and instructional coach, I will use this text in a book study with staff as a resource to dive into courageous conversations and use the “Think about it” and “Key Takeaways” in each section to guide that work. The “Be easy on people and hard on ideas” thinking is spot on. I can’t wait for the published book to come out to get this book for all of my staff.

[M. · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was a good read.

[Marie Loerzel · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a book I’ll be passing along to friends!

[M Moore]

This is a must read. My heart is warmed from the hope given, my brain is tired from how it has been challenged and my toes hurt from being stepped on...a lot. I was the white suburban mom in the SNL skit that started reading all the books and throwing around the word "ally" in 2020 when the atmosphere shifted and the conversations started to emerge. I went into this book thinking it would be a good summary of what I had learned. And yes, it did reinforce several new-to-me truths. But it also has practical advice and conversational responses. This book doesn't just tell you why the conversation has to happen but it literally gives you a script for any which way these conversations may go! There is honesty, pain, and hope packed into this book. This is perfect for the person who's started the journey but is overwhelmed by the information. It's perfect for the person who wants to learn more about having the hard conversations but is intimidated by the multitude of titles to pick from. This book is for every white person. This book is for book clubs. This book is for the person you know you need to have a hard conversation with but don't know how to start. READ THIS BOOK.

Thank you to the authors for a #gifted copy. My thoughts are my own.

My reviews can also be seen at www.instagram.com/justonemoorebook.

[Darlene · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very important read. This will aid in my conversations with some family members that aren't understanding their careless use of micro-aggressions, as well as sheds light on how to handle uncomfortable situations you may find yourself in within the community, to speak up for the injustices we all witness

[Nancy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Our Social Justice Committee in our church is considering this book for a book discussion group, in part because of events that have happened in our area in the past couple of months. And that's fine but it won't take the place of really getting to know persons of a different race or ethnicity. Lots of good thoughts in this but it doesn't take the place of real relationships.

[Jacquelin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommend reading at a slower pace. I did about a chapter a day or every other day to journal and digest and think about places in my life where I can apply what I've learned and practice allyship.

[Lynn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very important and well-written book about issues facing our society today. Interesting format for focusing difficult discussions in a way that's readable and easy to digest. Great resource, good discussion book, glad it's out there!

[Elle · Rating 3 out of 5]

Each question/section provides prompts for the reader to meditate and sit with the topic. In addition, key takeaways are listed to reinforce the main points of each question/section.

[Jen Mayes · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was such a unique way to approach this challenging subject . I loved the practical real life examples and the tools that it walked through. Highly recommend for those that want to learn.

[Tenison Stone · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good book - there as a little too much duplication.

[Sierra Crownhart · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars

[Sienna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent! Loved the format & mixed perspectives. An easy read reduce a challenging topic. Will definitely share with interested friends. Highly recommend.

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

I appreciate a book that is willing to challenges the issues we face. While they take the challenges head on and talk with openness and honesty, it is still very hard to grasp what it is we can do to assist in the issues of racism.

I received this book through a Goodreads giveaway.

[Lynn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought that Courageous Discomfort was thoughtfully well written. Together, the authors were able to speak on the subject matter in a way that was relatable and honest. While I am not the primary target audience, I learned a few things and much of this book can be used to help better communicate with those who are trying to learn what it is to truly be an ally.

Voluntarily reviewed after receiving a free copy courtesy of NetGalley, the Publisher and the authors Shanterra McBride and Rosalind Wiseman.

[Dara · Rating 4 out of 5]

For my first non fiction November pick, I read Courageous Discomfort, a book that poses 20 questions about race and racism. It addresses situations of race and racism with friends and relationships, in work and the community, etc. It is written by a Black woman and a white woman who are best friends and it includes stories from various other people. The main point that the authors make is to treat others with dignity. I thought it was a basic look at racism, but a good place to start.