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420 pages, ebook

“What’s the matter?”
In a somewhat strange voice, Fei Du said, “Nothing. I love you, shixiong.”
Luo Wenzhou knew perfectly well that the words “I love you” coming out of Fei Du’s mouth were about the same as “Have you eaten?” but he still accidentally bumped into a drinking fountain in the hall.

So when, using the master bedroom as a guest room, he carried in fresh bedding to lay out for Fei Du, Fei Du evidently got the wrong impression.
Luo Wenzhou hadn’t yet straightened up when a familiar Mu Xiang scent came up from behind him. Then he was hugged from behind, one very badly behaved hand hooking around his waist, the other hand lightly brushing past his neck and pressing his lips; then there was a breath at his ear.
Luo Wenzhou’s ear buzzed. His body didn’t wait for instructions; without authorization, it was already half on fire. He grabbed Fei Du’s wrist, thinking his own palm was so hot it was humiliating.
Luo Wenzhou said, “Don’t mess around.”

Luo Wenzhou felt Fei Du’s heartbeat. He’d heard that it had stopped once, so when Fei Du had just gotten out of the ICU, he’d been unable to resist listening to Fei Du’s heart, thinking that he’d have done anything to make that weak and sluggish heartbeat liven up again.
…now that it had livened up, Luo Wenzhou was somewhat regretful, wanting to eat his words from back then.

Perhaps Luo Wenzhou had sprinkled some sleep aid onto it, or perhaps Fei Du had been tired out by the tossing around; as soon as he touched the pillow, his eyelids began to droop. He raised his free hand against the gentle light of the bedside lamp, half screening his eyes, murkily saying, “Then what did you bring me home for?”
Luo Wenzhou sat silently at the side of the bed for a while. “I want to take care of you.
Can’t I?”

Luo Wenzhou had absolutely no idea that he was disturbing his pure dreams. He propped both hands on the mattress, half rose, and looked over to study Fei Du’s “sleeping countenance” by the faint light of night. He looked for a while, then he really couldn’t help himself; he leaned close and kissed Fei Du lightly, then gently pulled him into his arms—he could only do these things by stealth while Fei Du was sleeping, or else the joker would probably climb all over him.
Fei Du: “…” Like a corpse, he let Luo Wenzhou move him around; the breathing he’d thought was bothersome was now right at the base of his ear, and the rising and falling chest was pressed closely to his back. One of the quilts had been set aside unused. It was a particularly crowded position.
Fei Du helplessly thought, “Forget it.”
The words “forget it” seemed to be a magic spell; the results were instant. As soon as he thought them, all the bothersome details around him settled, and Fei Du actually slept through the night.
“Say something if I hurt you, and tell me if you can’t take it, all right?” Luo Wenzhou spoke into Fei Du’s ear, his breathing rapid. Fei Du’s hair was stark black against the snow white pillowcase; Luo Wenzhou could only maintain a roughly human appearance by gritting his teeth. “I know you like to torture yourself, but I don’t like that. I don’t like you being in pain.”
Fei Du didn’t have the attention to spare to consider the meaning behind his words, because he was only now finding out that he and Luo Wenzhou perhaps had different views on certain subjects.
“No.” Fei Du gave a dry laugh. “Wait a minute…”
He wanted to love him, wanted to take care of him, wanted to slowly unwrap his convoluted, unknowable heart like opening a beautifully wrapped package. Luo Wenzhou had started on a path with his one-sided declaration, had made his preparations for a long and arduous journey, carrying a traveling bag of patience on his back.
But he’d had him by his side only a few days when that bastard had once again thrown him off his proper pace. It was as if he’d been bewitched.
The sudden physical intimacy had made him throw away all his defenses, filling his heart with deep-rooted desires. It had also pushed him onto a roller coaster. All the things he’d originally planned to take his time on had at once become things he was itching with impatience to get on with.
Luo Wenzhou was impatient to hear Fei Du say what he’d been thinking when the bomb on that fatal cold chain truck had gone off, and why he’d grabbed him.
He was impatient to open up Fei Du’s maze-like chest and see his own progress, see how far he’d gone. Impatient to hear a few sentences of truth come out of his mouth, to hear him own up to all the facts.


Fei Du was as bothersome as could be, not at all lovable. Right now, Luo Wenzhou thought that there wasn’t a single adorable thing about him, from the roots of his hair to his heels. What had he spent these past few months constantly thinking about him for?
This bit of goods was only fit for dragging home, stripping naked, and throwing on the bed.


“There’s nothing to misunderstand.” Luo Wenzhou’s hand tightened involuntarily, encircling Fei Du’s wrist hard enough to hurt a little. “They came over on purpose to see you today and behaved that way because I formally told them…” Fei Du was inexplicably somewhat panicked and tried subconsciously to interrupt him.
“Shixiong.”
“…that you’re the person I’m planning to spend a lifetime with.”

“I’d really love nothing better than to…” After a good while, Luo Wenzhou sighed, lowered his head, and gently kissed his dry lips, quietly saying, “Dig out your evil heart and rotten lungs and have a look.”

“You asshole.” Luo Wenzhou repeatedly jabbed Fei Du’s chest with one finger. “You actually do care for me, you didn’t have any other ideas before, and now you want to stay with me. Do you dare to admit it?”
Fei Du froze under his attentive gaze for three seconds. Then he snatched his jabbing paw and instantly pressed Luo Wenzhou against the little dining table, stopping his mouth with biting force.
[...]
“Yes, I care for you.”

Tao Ran watched Luo Wenzhou pull apart the crowd to go into the room and grab Fei Du. He really couldn’t resist smiling, feeling that his two anxieties had cancelled each other out, like fighting fire with fire. He truly felt at ease.

"I have a favor to ask… A little while ago some bastard scraped my significant other’s car and wasn’t caught at the time…"


Luo Wenzhou dodged left and right, checking on Tao Ran and Xiao Haiyang’s positions in the dining room. Then, without warning, he pressed Fei Du into a corner out of their line of sight and personally tasted his mouth.
The kitchen door was half open; if they’d only stuck out their heads, Tao Ran and Xiao Haiyang would have seen. Fei Du could even hear their low voices. Luo Wenzhou’s sudden surprise attack of a kiss was unusually turbulent, almost fretful, entirely at odds with the “relaxed and cheerful” atmosphere of the weekend hotpot gathering.
Likely anyone faced with a knife to the back would have found it difficult to maintain true calm.
The winter air was dry, and lips were delicate. Fei Du hissed and hurriedly turned his head away slightly, grabbing Luo Wenzhou’s hand, almost inaudibly saying into his ear, “Darling, if you bite through and I bleed, you’ll have to carry me out of here on your back.”
Luo Wenzhou already had the results of his analysis and smacked him indignantly. “I’ll carry you out over my shoulder—you weren’t drinking? Do you ever tell the truth?”
Fei Du turned his head to cover up his entirely unrepentant smile and gently licked Luo Wenzhou’s earlobe.
Luo Wenzhou was accustomed to being a team captain; as soon as it came to business, especially when time was very tight, his manner would be intense. Having said this much in one breath, he remembered that this was Fei Du, not one of his grunts. He hastily softened his voice slightly.

Luo Wenzhou clicked his tongue, very unsatisfied with his roundabout means of expression. Taking no care whatsoever to evade the onlooker, he reached into the front seat, brushed Fei Du’s chin, and pinched his earlobe. “Got it. You love me. I’ll be careful.”


