Time Off for Good Behavior: How Hardworking Women Can Take a Break and Change Their Lives

by Mary Lou Quinlan

Have you ever fantasized about taking time away from your overworked life? Nights uninterrupted by email? Days to pursue set-aside dreams? Do you promise yourself that “someday” you will get a break?

Mary Lou Quinlan had those “someday” thoughts. But her hard-earned job as CEO of a New York advertising agency claimed most of her waking hours. Exhausted and losing motivation, she was so desperate she perversely imagined breaking her leg to get some time alone. Then, she declared a brief timeout. During her time off, she slept late, took walks, danced the salsa, kept a journal and ultimately, uncovered the roots of a new business. In the process, she rediscovered herself.

Time Off for Good Behavior is the result of listening to women like her, who realized enough was enough. Quinlan tells no-holds-barred stories of dozens of women who sacrificed their health, relationships, their good humor and a good night’s sleep until they found the courage to ask themselves if they were happy with the life they were living and made the decisions to take life-saving breaks.

Mary Lou Quinlan explores the factors that compel you to work so hard and examines how to take back control of your life. She explores our unwillingness to give ourselves permission to rest so that we can re-imagine our futures. And she shows the powerful, self-fulfilling changes that can occur when we do decide to take that rest.

Whether you contemplate leaving a career that took years to build or just need a long vacation to assess what you want next, you’ll find practical tools and bolstering advice throughout. Each chapter ends with provocative questions to help you plan your good behavior reprieve. Specific exercises on financial planning, advice for negotiating time off, and tools to uncover your passions make this a must-read for women who are ready for “someday.”

Time off for Good Behavior ultimately shows that stepping away from everything—even for a short while—often means ending up with so much more.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help

256 pages, Hardcover

First published January 11, 2005

About the author

Mary Lou Quinlan has written inspirational features for Real Simple, O, the Oprah Magazine, and MORE, and other magazines and, is the author of the books Just Ask a Woman, Time Off for Good Behavior, and What She’s Not Telling You. She is the nation’s leading expert on female consumer behavior.
As the founder and CEO of marketing consultancy Just Ask a Woman and Mary Lou Quinlan & Co., she has interviewed thousands of women about their lives. Mary Lou has keynoted hundreds of conferences around the country; has appeared on television programs such as The CBS Early Show, Good Morning America, and the Today Show; and has been profiled in The New York Times, the Wall St. Journal, and USA Today as well as many other media outlets.
Mary Lou is Jesuit-educated with an MBA from Fordham University. She also holds an honorary doctorate in Communications from her alma mater, Saint Joseph’s University in Philadelphia where she earned a BA in English.
She and her husband, Joe Quinlan, live in New York City and Bucks County, Pennsylvania along with their dog, Rocky.

Reviews

[Colleen Hendry · Rating 5 out of 5]

Resonates & Validates

I am on Day 3 of my self decided leave and stumbled on this book! Wow...so much to process! This book really spoke to me on so many levels. I now have my mom reading it so we can discuss from both our perspectives! Tremendous and relatable read!

[Jessalyn Plant · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was a good reminder to me to take seriously my own wellness. The idea of righting my "work/life" balance again was a timely one for me.

[Irina · Rating 2 out of 5]

Found myself feeling more and more stressed just by reading this book, which is rather dated at this point and also spends too much time with personal anecdotes and history about the author's history of extreme workaholism. I gave up half way through. It also bears noting that the author didn't have any children, and I have a young toddler, so it was hard to relate to her experience for me, despite my own history with working too much.

[Joy]

Have you ever fantasized about taking time away from your overworked life? Nights uninterrupted by email? Days to pursue set-aside dreams? Do you promise yourself that “someday” you will get a break?

Mary Lou Quinlan had those “someday” thoughts. But her hard-earned job as CEO of a New York advertising agency claimed most of her waking hours. Exhausted and losing motivation, she was so desperate she perversely imagined breaking her leg to get some time alone. Then, she declared a brief timeout. During her time off, she slept late, took walks, danced the salsa, kept a journal and ultimately, uncovered the roots of a new business. In the process, she rediscovered herself.

Time Off for Good Behavior is the result of listening to women like her, who realized enough was enough. Quinlan tells no-holds-barred stories of dozens of women who sacrificed their health, relationships, their good humor and a good night’s sleep until they found the courage to ask themselves if they were happy with the life they were living and made the decisions to take life-saving breaks.

Mary Lou Quinlan explores the factors that compel you to work so hard and examines how to take back control of your life. She explores our unwillingness to give ourselves permission to rest so that we can re-imagine our futures. And she shows the powerful, self-fulfilling changes that can occur when we do decide to take that rest.

Whether you contemplate leaving a career that took years to build or just need a long vacation to assess what you want next, you’ll find practical tools and bolstering advice throughout. Each chapter ends with provocative questions to help you plan your good behavior reprieve. Specific exercises on financial planning, advice for negotiating time off, and tools to uncover your passions make this a must-read for women who are ready for “someday.”

Time off for Good Behavior ultimately shows that stepping away from everything—even for a short while—often means ending up with so much more

[J · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author had me for the first couple chapters, but then she started sharing extreme stories, like working until 2 or 3am every night including weekends and holidays ... and acting like that was normal.

Though unintended, this book is an interesting phycological study into second generation feminism. Just a generation or two ago, married women had an undisputed right to stay home and turn their full attention to managing their households. Men felt they had a responsibility to financially provide for their families. Women nurtured their children, created beautiful homes and secure communities. The women depicted in this book feel so much pressure to succeed in business and “trailblaze” that they think nothing of working excessive hours. Their husbands, children and personal identities are sacrificed to succeed at their professional jobs.

This book was written to spread the message that it is okay to take time away from work to refresh yourself (before returning to work). On one hand, I think it is good that this book was written. If you work 80 hours a week and ignore your husband & kids, you need a wake up call. It is irresponsible not to take time off and reassess your priorities. If this book gives women “permission” to do that, it is a good thing. On the other hand, I think it is ridiculous that anyone would need to be told something so obvious.

[Lynne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life changing book for me.... inspiring and yet so practical as to HOW to make a change and create the support system needed to implement my new way of life.