You, Me, We: Why We All Need a Friend at Work

by Morag Barrett, Eric Spencer, Ruby Vesely

You, Me, We is for leaders who want to improve―at leading, yes, but also at their lives. How so? By building deep, long-lasting relationships that set everybody up for success.

One of the most important indicators of individual, team, and organizational success is the presence of an ally mindset. When we have best friends at work―people who are with us, in good times and bad, and who help ensure we make it through together―we thrive. When we don’t, we flail, and eventually crash and burn, leaving only a smoking hulk of debris behind as evidence that they were ever even there.

Through their extensive work with clients that include Google, National Geographic, Microsoft, and many more, the authors have discovered the framework for an ally mindset includes five key parts:

- Abundance and generosity
- Connection and compassion
- Courage and vulnerability
- Candor and debate
- Action and accountability

In You, Me, We, they share valuable lessons on each of these aspects, to show you how to be a better friend at work and how doing so leads to greater happiness, collaboration, and business outcomes.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Business

304 pages, Hardcover

First published October 18, 2022

About the author

I firmly believe that you can't be successful in business, or in life, unless you are successful in cultivating winning relationships. Whether it's professional relationships across your industry or organization, or within your team, it's the people skills that really matter. The soft-skills are foundational to achieving the hard goals.

Relationships are at the heart of everything we do at SkyeTeam. Time flies when you are having fun, & I LOVE what I do & the people I work with. I bring broad experience including corporate finance, as well as leadership & executive development & Human Resources. I understand business, as well as the complexities of leading & managing the people that are part of your company.

I've a master’s degree in Human Resource Management, received the Senior Professional in Human Resources (SPHR). I'm a certified coach for the Corporate Coach University (CCUG) & a Chartered Fellow of the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development (Chartered FCIPD).

I've worked with more than 5,000 high potential leaders, in 20 countries, on 4 continents. Our global leadership development & management development programs result in business & individual success.

Mother to 3 boys (all 6ft tall), classical musician, and ballroom dancer.

Reviews

[Ellie Rich-Poole · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book! Perfectly aligned to my own values, inspiring and energising. It’s all about adopting an ally mindset and proactively helping others for the greater good and success of all. It is packed full of nuggets and I will now be rereading my hard copy having listened to the audio book which was very engagingly read by the authors. I had the pleasure of meeting Morag last year and she absolutely practices what she preaches. Highly recommended.

[Cassondra Windwalker · Rating 5 out of 5]

You, Me, We is an excellent guide for people looking to direct their relationships and their course in life with intentionality and integrity. The concepts are simple to understand and concretely organized, in direct, conversational language that invites the reader to examine themselves honestly but kindly, too. The authors are transparent about their own struggles and unstintingly thoughtful in their dissection of the flaws of others. Although written specifically for the business world, the principles in this book will help define, strengthen, and renew relationships in any area of life. A particularly relevant read in the new world we are all navigating since the pandemic.

[Cindy Berube · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book to have very actionable advice. I have already recommended it to a new manager in my group, with high hopes it will give her great ideas on building relationships in her team. I’ve dog-eared a number of pages for myself for suggestions I want to implement. I appreciate the vulnerability shown by each of the authors. This was a good combination of real-life scenarios, what ifs, and next steps.

[Crissy · Rating 5 out of 5]

So excited to get a copy. I am writing a review holding spot. I have won a copy from Goodreads and am absolutely excited to receive, read and review. I will keep you updated! Cheers!

[Gabriel · Rating 4 out of 5]

*** Received a free copy from goodreads giveaway***

This is an incredibly underrated topic, and whether you're an aspiring business leader or seasoned executive the importance of maintaining a heightened level of situational awareness around human connection cannot be stressed enough, and this book is a pretty darn good primer to help you start thinking about those human connectivity gaps in your business, and how to address them from the lens of a more conventional work modality.

I'm dinging this a star for lacking critical thought and analysis leading to action items that specifically address hybrid and remote work environments. The authors approach materiality here, but stop short of delivering actionable scenario-based value. I think even just a few use cases spelled out would be helpful here. Additionally, the sales pitch for the consultancy comes across a little heavy-handed at times, and the price tag, at $27 US (2023), seems above market for what I'd normally pay for an Adam Grant or Kouzes/Posner type book.

[Book Reviewer · Rating 5 out of 5]

You, Me, We masterfully illustrates potent strategies for cultivating a spirit of kinship within any professional environment. Our modern work culture, often marred by individualism and isolation, can inadvertently foster an atmosphere of emotional detachment and gradually escalating conflict among team members. This book underscores the fundamental principle that prosperous professional relationships form the cornerstone of career success.

In order to cultivate such relationships, one must exercise intentionality. The objective should be a reciprocal connection, where both parties are invested in mutual growth. The authors highlighted the importance of proactive relationship building, highlighting a particularly notable section on transforming adversaries into allies. Adversarial relationships can often be traced back to mundane incidents, which, when recognized and addressed, can pave the way for constructive collaboration.

Embodying empathy and devoid of judgment, You, Me, We acknowledges the ease with which one can let negative relationships fester, ultimately staining the fabric of our professional lives. Through the lens of Fiona's story, it delivers a cautionary tale, illuminating the destructive power of unchecked interpersonal issues at work while simultaneously reinforcing the notion that a strained relationship requires a concerted effort from both parties.

Framed through engaging, real-world narratives, the book feels akin to a conversation among friends. Its accessible language, corroborated by empirical evidence, reinforces its credibility and resonates with logic. You, Me, We is a harmonious blend of practical advice and thought-provoking insights, delivering an invigorating and rewarding reading experience that carries the potential to transform one's professional life.

This narrative serves as a call to all professionals. While it applauds the merits of hard work, it emphasizes the value of camaraderie and mutual support in the journey to success. Leaders are prompted to foster an environment that encourages allyship, necessitating transformative actions at both individual and organizational levels. A thriving work culture hinges on leaders who genuinely support and collaborate with their staff as allies.

Written by Morag, Eric, and Ruby, this timely masterpiece serves as a gentle nudge to reembrace our social instincts as we navigate the post-pandemic work landscape. You, Me, We is an essential read for anyone seeking to purge negativity from their relationships, whether professionally or socially. Its messages are relevant to those desiring a more positive, fulfilling interpersonal existence.

[DrNiaDThomas · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book gave me feedback that I didn’t know I needed to hear.

It took me on a journey of despair, embarrassment, inadequacy, enlightenment, learning and improvement. It was quite the journey

At one point I couldn’t articulate my response to it, all I could do was picture myself sitting with my head on my desk, with my arms out-streached in despair moaning, wailing and feeling sorry for myself at not ‘people-ing’ better. And I really want to people well. That’s what my exploration into self-aware leadership is all about, people-ing better, relating better and working better.

This book talks about the ally mindset: the ‘show up as a good colleague whenever you possibly can’ mindset. It does this through setting out 5 groups of behaviours: abundance and generosity, connection and compassion, courage and vulnerability, candour and debate and action and accountability. It talks about how we give time and space to people on a human level, how we listen to people and how we show up with our arms outstretched ready to accept people as they are, acknowledge their differences and appreciating that they have a whole life beyond work that we now know nothing about.

If you’re a manager of people or a leader of any kind, I would recommend this book as it will shed a light on the fundamentally important things that move work relationships from task sharing to work-life sharing

I also liked the way it's written, there are 3 authors but it's joined together well: it's one coherent whole with 3 distinct voices sounding out at different times, sharing different stories from different perspectives.

I learned so much and I made a pact with myself to people better from this moment on. I’ve made little changes in my practice, specifically: asking more meaning questions, listening mindfully, caring evidently, giving time generously and remembering purposefully. I hope my colleagues feel this change and they know without a shadow of a doubt that I’m an ally, and always looking to people better

A 5 out of 5.

[Geoff · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another excellent work by Morag Barrett and team. Everyone needs allies in the office and, in our post-covid world, the extended office. This book is explains all the reasons they're important and what you need to do to ensure you're doing what is required to have a real 'ally mindset'.

The book is filled with insights from the authors and contains plenty of real-world examples from the work place.

In my opinion it is a must read of all the new generation of employees who are starting their careers ( whether in-person, or via remote work) and for all the managers and directors and vice presidents trying to build or maintain highly functional and highly efficient teams.

You simply can't be successful at any level without having an ally mindset, and this book is both explanation on why it is so vital and a how-to guide on developing and maintaining that mindset.

[David · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ideas from the book:
* Investing in relationships is an investment in your own well-being and success
* One of the best things a leader can do for their people, especially during turbulent times, is to make sure they have a best friend at work.
* Learning and growing happens more effectively in organizations with inclusive cultures.