The Connected Life: The Art and Science of Relational Spirituality

by Todd W. Hall

It's no secret that we live in an increasingly isolated world. The pandemic has only exacerbated what was already a startling loneliness and disconnection have been on the rise for a long time in our society. We long for a deep sense of meaning to make sense of our lives, but we don't know how to find it. Even worse, we often search for it in unhealthy ways that hinder the very thing we're desperate genuine relational connection. Psychologist Todd Hall has been researching human relationships and ways of connecting for many years. In The Connected Life , he offers the fruit of that work, contending that real human growth doesn't come through head knowledge alone but through relational knowledge and strong attachment bonds. It's our relationships―with God and others―that lead to authentic transformation. Ultimately, the family of God provides the best context for lasting growth. Here is a wise, accessible introduction to transformative relational connection, addressing the deeply felt disconnection in our society and inviting us into lasting relationships with God and others.

Genres: Psychology, Christian Living, Nonfiction, Church, Christian, Faith, Discipleship

224 pages, Hardcover

Published June 28, 2022

Reviews

[Tamara M · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed author's integration of psychology, neuroscience and Christian faith as he was unpacking human' innate desire and longing for connection. One of the most insightful contribution of this book is his understanding and explanation of explicit and implicit knowledge and the way those two types of "knowing" can help us but also (at times) hinder us in our "knowing" of each other and of God.
Highly recommended!

[Ryan Storch · Rating 5 out of 5]

Todd Hall’s book, The Connected Life, is a book that I recommend highly to anyone involved in ministry or who wants to grow in their walk with God and others. He first examines the roots of our connection crisis. He talks about the damage that the idea of no-fault divorce had on children and families. From that, he examines the breakdown of societal connection structures. He then speaks about how our attachment style impacts our relationship with God and others.

After that, he talks about the different types of knowledge and invites us to be whole people who engage both sides of our minds. He pushes back against the exhortation for people to take emotions out of decisions. We are whole people and God has given us emotions. These play a vital role in our decision-making process.

He then speaks of how we were born to connect in a myriad of different ways. This book is profoundly helpful for a person navigating their own story and life. It is also a vital book in light of our connection crisis. What better way for the church to step in and minister than by providing the opportunity for people to love, connect, and belong.

[Eli McCoy · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you like “The Body Keeps the Score” and “Practicing the Way,” then you’d like this one!

[Adam Jarvis · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very important book on spiritual growth, becoming more like Christ, and the influence of relationships on our lives. I especially appreciated the insight regarding explicit knowledge and implicit knowledge and the spiritual dynamic of our emotions. Great book.

[Clayton Wagler · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think Hall does a nice job weaving together psychological ideas (such as attachment relationships) with spiritual growth. It's a pretty accessible read. I'll probably revisit this book down the road when I have more time to soak in its ideas.

[Kelli · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another book I read at the right time. Attachment styles play into how we view and perceive God. There are ways to know and feel God, and this book does a good job of explaining why you may feel a certain way, but also how to move beyond or out of a rutted path that is familiar but bleak.
I want to write more… I may come back and edit this later.

[Sean · Rating 5 out of 5]

A masterclass in relational health and spiritual maturity. Took me a while to go through with many highlights but I loved it. Todd did an amazing job and you can really tell he put all of himself into this work.

[Megan Mae Oitzman · Rating 5 out of 5]

I genuinely believe that any Christian interested in transformative spiritual practices—whether in the context of ministry or one’s personal life—should read this book.

Hall is such a compassionate author. You can sense his heart throughout the book (much like how a Curt Thompson book reads). The Connected Life is a beautiful integration of the interpersonal neurobiology world and the Christian faith world. While many of the topics covered in this book have been written about in detail by other Christian psychologist GOATs—like Cloud, Townsend, Thompson, Newberg, Waldman, etc etc etc—this book stands alone in its purpose. Hall introduces, explains, and offers examples (biblical and personal) of the psychological concepts and philosophical tenants that make up the framework of relational spirituality.

The idea presented in this book that challenged and impacted me the most is his perspective on implicit and explicit knowledge. Hall invites readers to examine how they interpret—or disregard— their emotions in their decision-making processes. Through the integration of psychology, neuroscience, and Christian teachings, Hall challenges the widely held Christian notion that exhorts believers in the Body of Christ (especially women and children) to set aside their emotions to engage in rational thought. In this line of thinking, emotional processes are, at best, unreliable, and at their worst, sinful. Hall, however, contends that rational thought includes both implicit and explicit knowledge to build the reality that we live in. And through the power of principles and narrative, we can develop both types of knowledge and integrate the brain in a way that allows us to truly transform.

My measly summary does not do this book justice. I could not recommend it enough!!!

[Michael Stallard · Rating 5 out of 5]

This excellent and timely book makes the case that people are created to connect. It draws on research from psychology and neuroscience, and from the Bible. The author, Dr. Todd Hall, a college psychology professor, entrepreneur, and faculty affiliate to the Harvard Human Flourishing Program, brings the concepts to life by openly sharing personal experiences and professional experiences as a clinical psychologist.

Dr. Hall writes in a way to make the research and rationale clear, and the stories he tells make the book sing. I was especially moved reading about his mother's mental health issues and how it affected him, and about his wife, Dr. Elizabeth Hall's, battle with breast cancer.

One clinical case Dr. Hall describes was similar to my own experience. Reading it and seeing how Dr. Hall helped his patient helped me see that I have work to do to transform the attachment pattern formed in my brain.

It's clear from reading "The Connected Life" that Dr. Hall has a formidable intellect. In a chapter toward the end of the book, he shares how people often grow through suffering. The difficult seasons in Dr. Hall's life had a profound effect on him, making him a deeper, more interesting and relatable guide to help others on their journey in life and faith.

[Kasia Hubbard · Rating 5 out of 5]

We are trying to make connections that without understanding of ourselves, others, and, God, we are missing the boat. As research has proven, we are living in a world that is getting lonelier and lonelier and relying on others to reach out to us isn't working. This book helps us live with the intentionality of connecting to other human beings, even if those connections aren't perfect, it still gives us tools to help us relate to each other better, in a healthier manner. I really liked the chapter on Suffering Well. It helps bring the amount of suffering we all endure into focus in a way that doesn't highlight pain, but the path through the pain, in understanding a shifting philosophy as we experience what we experience. It shifts our priorities in a way that helps keep the main thing the main thing. I read this once, and will read it again. So many good nuggets of information that was extremely helpful in a down to earth way that is so helpful to figure out where we are in this process and how to move forward.
*I received a copy of this book from NetGalley. This review is my own opinion*

[JT Tapias · Rating 5 out of 5]

“The Connected Life” by Todd W. Hall is an exceptional read that I would highly recommend to anyone seeking deeper understanding and improvement in their personal and professional relationships. Hall masterfully intertwines psychological research with practical wisdom, presenting a compelling narrative on the importance of connection in all facets of life. His insights on emotional intelligence and relational dynamics are both enlightening and transformative, providing readers with the tools to build more meaningful and satisfying connections. The book is well-structured, engaging, and filled with real-world examples that resonate and inspire. It’s a must-read for anyone looking to enhance their interpersonal skills and achieve a more fulfilling life. Truly a five-star masterpiece!

[Brian Virtue · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of areas of research and integration that has robust explanatory power for the process of connecting with God and others in a spiritually and holistically transformative way. There are some points where it got a little dry, but never for very long and the ideas and integrative framework presented point the way in a hopeful and redemptive direction. This book and others bringing such insights to the public eye presents a challenge and opportunity to the church - which often fails to lead in the direction of connection and integration of head and heart. I found myself hopeful by the possibilities in an era where many have given up on experiencing redemptive connection and authentic community.

[Ben · Rating 3 out of 5]

This Relation-"ship" Has Sailed

This was an okay book.

I found it mostly reminded me of a self help / relationship book like Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life or something by John M. Gottman.

Not anything too theological.

Still had some good bits though.

3.1/5

[Andrew · Rating 2 out of 5]

The first and last chapters were exactly what I was looking for in a book of this topic. Everything in between, unfortunately, was information overload with little accentuation on how to apply what was talked about. Ending the chapters with reflection and rhetorical questions would have bumped this way up. It felt very scattered and I don’t even know if I have takeaways. It’s worth the read if you want to know about attachment styles and childhood trauma, but it’s not really about the topic advertised.

[Christy-JC Carter]

A medical doctor spoke at my church recently about neuroscience, brain development, attachment, and connection. He recommended this books (as well as others), and I started to listen. I appreciated the intersection of faith and science, and the reminders of what I already know, but easily forget. There were a lot of anecdotes (maybe too many for me) and gendered language for God, so I DNF. I think I got the gist and definitely appreciated his points, but maybe listening wasn't the best way to absorb this book.

[Chris Morris · Rating 4 out of 5]

An excellent, wide-ranging book

This book gathers psychological expertise alongside personal story and spiritual principles to guide the reader to an understanding of what it means to have a connected life, why we often struggled to find that connection, and what steps we can take to improve that in our lives.

[Grant Gunston · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book grew on me. Todd Hall identifies the deep longing for connectedness in all of us, describes a balance between rational and relational approaches, and locates the healthiest expression of connectedness in church community in relation to God. It’s grounded and well-rounded and has something that should challenge and extend everyone.

[Ashley Chesnut · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read Hall’s Relational Spirituality book before reading this one, and this is a more condensed, more readable, foundation for Relational Spirituality. It has many of the initial ideas, and Relational Spirituality takes it further and gives the science and research. So read The Connected Life first.
And I do recommend reading this book, particularly if you’re in ministry!

[Patrick Ryan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Helpful to see why we are disconnected with self, others, and God as well as how our attachment patterns influence our connections with self and others.

I wish the author would spend more time on those who feel downtrodden instead of saying sweeping statements that his solutions equal less disconnection

[Rob · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the most important books I have read in the past few years on what it means to grow in the life of Jesus. Anyone who is interested in learning more about how God designed us to attach, love, and grow with Jesus and others needs to--must-- read this book.

[Jon W. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent integration of attachment styles and spiritual development

Dr. Hall has presented a clear and compelling model for understanding the role of attachment style and spiritual development. He writes with great balance and perspective. This is a good read!

[Joseph Krum · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was so good it made me get back on Goodreads just to give it 5 stars. Such an incredible blend of psychology with our understanding of ourselves and how we relate to the Lord. Incredibly profound and live-giving

[Collin Diehl · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dr. Hall beautifully connects Spiritual Formation and the science of psychology. This is a book that you can read multiple times through and pick up new understandings every time. Well thought out and well executed!

[Isaac Eames · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great at connecting the dots of psychology and Christian living. Good introduction into attachment styles and how our childhood affects our relationships with God and other people. He also gave us hope of healing and practical steps to pursue healing and growth.

[Ella Koskinen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I would say 3.5! It had a lot of great insight to attachment theory & our need for people in the process of healing. I preferred when it focused more on people’s real life stories than all of the research explanations, but that’s just me!

[Rita · Rating 5 out of 5]

Required reading for my future husband 😤

[Jon Anderson]

Attachment theory applied to spiritual formation

[Clay Cooney · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life changing book. Highly, highly recommend.

[J.J. · Rating 4 out of 5]

I like the science that is brought in about why Christian connection is so important to personal spiritual growth.