Let's Talk About Hard Things: The Life-Changing Conversations That Connect Us

by Anna Sale

From the host of the popular WNYC podcast Death, Sex, & Money , Let’s Talk About Hard Things is “like a good conversation with a friend” ( The New Yorker ) where “no topic is off-limits when it comes to creating meaningful connection” (Lori Gottlieb, author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone ).

Anna Sale wants you to have that conversation. You know the one. The one that you’ve been avoiding or putting off, maybe for years. The one that you’ve thought “they’ll never understand” or “do I really want to bring that up?” or “it’s not going to go well, so why even try?”

Sale is the founder and host of WNYC’s popular, award-winning podcast Death, Sex, & Money or as the New York Times dubbed her “a therapist at happy hour.” She and her guests have direct and thought-provoking conversations, discussing topics that most of us are too squeamish, polite, or nervous to bring up. But Sale argues that we all experience these hard things, and by not talking to one another, we cut ourselves off, leading us to feel isolated and disconnected from people who can help us most.

In Let’s Talk About Hard Things , Sale uses the best of what she’s learned from her podcast to reveal that when we dare to talk about hard things, we learn about ourselves, others, and the world that we make together. Diving into five of the most fraught conversation topics—death, sex, money, family, and identity—she moves between memoir, fascinating snapshots of a variety of Americans opening up about their lives, and expert opinions to show why having tough conversations is important and how to do them in a thoughtful and generous way. She uncovers that listening may be the most important part of a tough conversation, that the end goal should be understanding without the pressure of reconciliation, and that there are some things that words can’t fix (and why that’s actually okay).

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Ebooks

304 pages, Paperback

Published May 3, 2022

Reviews

[Nathasjja Takanashi · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was okay to say the least, but not particularly well written or outstanding in terms of content. I really enjoyed the chapter about money and identity the most, I found the references related to financial psychology to be insightful and relevant to my personal situation as out of all the 4 main chapters, it was the one conversation I find challenging to have with my peers and family.

There’s a lot of anecdotes of the author’s personal life taken to illustrate her ideas, but for me, a large part of it was excessively detailed and made it more difficult to follow as much of the point she was trying to make become lost in them.

Overall, it’s a good book for people who might want to start familiarising themselves with having conversations about what’s considered rather taboo in most of society, and reintroduce these topics as gateways to more intimate relationships with those around them.

[Novem · Rating 3 out of 5]

There are some good tidbits in this book, but this could have been a much shorter book. I felt like I was reading a classic high school essay where she introduces the main ideas, describes the ideas, then summarizes the ideas again. I wished there could be a TL;DR section with some bullets (like Emily & Amelia Nagoski's Burnout) instead of a full-on summary. My favorite section was on death because that's a topic that I haven't had as much practice talking about, so it was helpful to learn about things like dignity therapy and nuances/differences between grieving and healing. As a listener of Sale's excellent podcast, Death, Sex, and Money, I have to admit I was a bit disappointed, but maybe that's because her podcast already covers many of these topics in much more depth.

[Thomas Zegray · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was the best of books, it was the worst of books....I always try to walk away from every book I read remembering something positive that I learned from it, that is what self help books are all about. Not that I am sure this is a self help book but I did grasp the point of talking about something, no matter how difficult the topic is, to ensure that I address the situation rather than suppress it.

[Judith Wagner · Rating 2 out of 5]

I picked this up after enjoying the author’s conversation (sponsored by Book Passage bookstore) with Anna Quindlen, about Quindlen’s new book; I didn’t know Sale’s work before that. But the book turned out not to offer me much that was intriguing or memorable.

[Brian · Rating 2 out of 5]

Nothing at all Life-Changing about the book. Some nice enough anecdotes, but just nothing that really enlightened or inspired me.

[Laurel Hilburn · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5, maybe 3. I love the Death, Sex & Money podcast and love Anna Sale’s interview style but this book missed the mark for me. Some good insights and unique stories but not enough to go back to it again.

[Jonna · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 ⭐️

[Sharon Lun · Rating 4 out of 5]

A lot of times that we need to get comfortable with the discomfort while having hard conversations. It creates a space where we learn, connect and show compassion to each other.

[Zaria · Rating 3 out of 5]

An insightful book to help discuss hard topics in general. It was an okay read, was expecting more.

[Emily Andrews · Rating 2 out of 5]

Read for school

[Sara Goldenberg · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good author and interesting treatment of the subject. Recommended!