Foster the Family: Encouragement, Hope, and Practical Help for the Christian Foster Parent

by Jamie C. Finn

There are great rewards that come along with being a foster parent, yet there are also great challenges that can leave you feeling depleted, alone, and discouraged. The many burdens of a foster parent's day--hurting children, struggling biological parents, and a broken system--are only compounded by the many burdens of a foster parent's heart--confusion, anxiety, heartache, anger, and fear.

With the compassion and insight of a fellow foster parent, Jamie C. Finn helps you see your struggles through the lens of the gospel, bringing biblical truths to bear on your unique everyday realities. In these short, easy-to-read chapters, you'll find honest, personal stories and practical lessons that provide encouragement and direction from God's Word as you walk the journey of foster parenting.

Genres: Parenting, Fostering, Nonfiction, Christian, Christian Living, Adoption, Audiobook

240 pages, Paperback

Published February 15, 2022

Reviews

[Abby Koele · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don’t write reviews, but needed to remember how badly this wrecked me. The Lord, in His masterful and perfect and upside down plan, has unified me (sinner, wicked, selfish, deceitful) into His family. The commentary on reunification was challenging for me - but isn’t this what Christ has done for me??

I don’t know if I’m strong enough to be a foster mom. I don’t understand the how the details of it all would even work. I still have so many questions for God, but I am more and more convinced of His great mercy to me - to be unified with Christ in the family of God.

[Terah DeBenedetto · Rating 5 out of 5]

Although I’m not a foster parent yet, I thought this book was incredible. I think she addressed every single fear and concern I have entering into foster care and countered them all with biblical truths. She shared her experiences as a foster mom and was so honest about her thoughts, shortcomings, and even her prayers while wrestling with the unknown, brokenness, and injustice in the system. I laughed, cried, and finished the book feeling encouraged, remembering why I am doing this.

I will definitely be reading this again once we are licensed and have a placement.

“My path to brokenness began with a prayer - “God, break my heart for the things that break yours” - He broke my heart. He broke the lie that this life is about me and my happiness…”

[Justinepow · Rating 5 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This was the foster parenting book I have been looking for. This is the book that has done what no foster parenting book has done for me before. It has pointed me back to the ‘why’ of fostering. It has pointed me back to the One who we do this for. It has reminded me that through all the ups and downs, the happy and sad, the calm and chaos there are promises in His word for foster parents. The Bible is the guide book. This book pointed me back to that- and that is what I needed.

I am so thankful to NetGalley and Van Dyke Marketing Co for the ARC. I am excited to be a part of this book launch team, especially when it’s a book as incredible as this.

[Aubrey Stanley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is phenomenal. Jamie’s heart for God, people, and vulnerable families comes through so clearly and beautifully. Her perspective on all things foster care and adoption bring tears, laughter, and head nods throughout.

For Christian foster parents, this is an essential book to dig into and read. I know that I’ll hold onto it like a survival guide for the rest of my fostering journey.

For those who are considering fostering/adopting OR who have close family and friends who do, this book provides so much perspective and insight into the world of foster and adoptive parents.

What a beautiful book.

I’m so thankful I get to be a part of launching it into the world. Thank you to Net Galley and Van Dyke Publishing for the ARC. I cannot wait to get my pre-ordered physical copy in the mail in February!

[Xanthe McCoy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Changed my perspective on foster care so much. Jamie makes it so hopeful while not skipping the hard. I will definitely reread this one later in our journey.

[Halle · Rating 5 out of 5]

I cannot recommend this book highly enough for foster parents, prospective foster parents, or anyone wishing to support a foster family. It perfectly weaves the difficult and rewarding realities of fostering with Biblical truth and encouragement. If you have ever felt alone in the world of foster care, this book is definitely for you.

[Courtney Crenshaw · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have read quite a few books on foster care and this was BY FAR my favorite. Jamie’s approach to explaining the “why” of foster care is incredibly written and founded in the Word of God. If you want to know more about the realities of foster care/adoption and the motivation for believers to get involved in these areas, read this book. Christians, read this book. Incredible truths that I will continue to return to as a foster mom… so grateful for Foster the Family.

[Leah Good · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book offers a theology for foster parenting. Instead of offering practical tips and learned knowledge, the author calls readers to turn to God, His calling, and His sufficiency for every element of the foster care journey.

[Karly Fry · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was simply amazing for so many reasons. I know that this is a book I will come back to continuously. Anyone, no matter what your life looks like, can benefit from reading this book!!

[Emily Ostby · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is phenomenal. If you are a foster parent or are thinking about becoming a foster parent, you should read it without hesitation. If you’re a Christian, you should read it. If you know and love someone who is a foster parent — read this, please.

[Kylie K · Rating 5 out of 5]

This put words to so many things I have felt and thought while fostering. The author consistently points to biblical truth in the heartbreak of fostercare.

“In a very real sense, all of the children in my home are "mine." In another - maybe even more real - sense, none of the children in my home are mine. They were created by God, they were given to me by God, they belong to God. I have simply been entrusted with their care – some of them for a short time, some of them for a lifetime. Their lives are safer in his hands than they could ever be in mine, and I willingly relinquish them all to Him. And that’s how I’m able to handover control of these beloved children. I don’t relinquish control to a broken system or to a flawed decision-maker. I relinquish control to God. “ I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted him.” 2 Tim 1:12

Attachment is vital to human development. The loving touch, affectionate gaze, and calm voice of a parent activate the cells of their babies brain and promote everything from emotional regulation to a sense of self to brain plasticity. As I have rocked and comforted my foster babies, I’ve often thought, ‘you may not remember me, but your brain and body will remember this. And it will make all the difference’.”

[Cortney Schimke · Rating 5 out of 5]

Must read!! For foster parents and anyone interested in caring for vulnerable children and their families.

[Stacy Regennitter · Rating 5 out of 5]

From beginning to end, Jamie articulated the absolute raw feelings and then brought them back to the truth of the gospel.  This book was a gift and ministry to me.

[Courtney Stanford · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s likely that this will be the best book I read this year. I don’t know how any other book will top this one. I will read this again. My heart needed exactly this.

[Kim Botto · Rating 5 out of 5]

Considering adoption or foster care, currently an adoptive or foster parent or wanting to better support an adoptive or foster family, this book is for you. Great insight into the reality, joys and challenges of caring for kids from hard places.

[Mindy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is so good. It's a good ready for any Christian parent, not just foster and adoptive parents.

[Laura (kroosreadsandreviews) · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can't say enough good things about this book and how it impacted me and my thinking! We were thrust in to the world of fostering and it can be a lonely and isolating journey. This book encouraged me so much and gave me so much more to think about! I am going to include some of my favorite quotes below! This book should be read by foster families and anyone that is supporting a foster family!



"Worrying about getting too attached takes away from our ability to love and serve our foster children the very best we can" (Location 1025 in Kindle)



This is another important idea for me to remember when I am taking care of my foster kids--"Therefore, the ways you parent kids from hard places may look very different from the methods of the friends and family you're parenting alongside" (Location 1489 in Kindle)



The foster journey is a very difficult one and this quote speaks to me: "I so want to do this foster thing well, and then every day my weakness touches it all" (Location 1632 in Kindle)



This was something that helped me when thinking about my own kids and the emotional toll of foster care, "One of the reasons we do foster care is for our children, so they'll learn about sacrificial love and service and following Jesus in hard ways" (Location 1911 in Kindle)



This last quote really helped me to think about loving the biological parents more, "I know that God loves these biological parents. That He adores their souls, that they are deeply precious to Him. That before being one who shows grace, I'm one who has received grace" (Location 3209 in Kindle)



These are my 5 favorite quotes, there are so many more, which is why you need to buy the book and check it out!!

[Yen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow I love strong women🙏 I read this for work and walked away not just learning more about the foster care system, but with a fire in my heart. Up until maybe a year ago, I had thought foster care and adoption were kind of the same idea. Since then, I’ve learned that the focus of foster care is family reunification and to help families stay together. Although some do foster to adopt, it shouldn’t be a person’s first or only reason for doing it. The book opened my eyes to how foster parents are called to love the biological parents just as much as they love their kids… and pray that the parents DO get better and DO get to place where they can be with their kids again, as much as you are upset by the brokenness and injustice you see.

I’m so glad we have Jamie’s voice in this conversation; it’s helped me see foster care as, genuinely, a Christian issue, and something we are called to care about and live out with grace. The family unit is so sacred to Jesus and children are so sacred to Jesus, and the book made me see this calling as something to fully surrender to Him. I also loved how Jamie spoke about the importance of being trauma-informed when caring for children, as this is something I really value. Balanced, insightful, and full of hope.

[Keri · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow this was so well done - I consumed the audiobook all in one day! Applicable far beyond just foster parents, Jamie Finn does a fantastic job describing the effect the gospel has on how we relate to the children in our home whether biological, adopted, or foster - and the proverbial village that comes with them.

I am not a foster parent and do not plan to be, nor did I agree fully with everything single thing she said - but overall, I found this incredibly inspiring, helpful, and informative in growing my understanding of foster care and seeing how God is at work even amidst the brokenness of the world that makes foster care a necessity.

(Plus, she's just a good writer. That always helps.)

A wonderful, gospel-rich resource for those seeking to love well and to serve those touched by foster care! Highly recommend.

--- Oh, and do yourself a favor and check out her Instagram and the Goods & Better store for more great foster care related content!

[Jen McOwen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Seven years ago we started fostering and, after a heart-felt, tear-filled phone call with our little girl’s mom, it became clear to me that foster care was even bigger than I thought. Desperate to know I wasn’t the only one who desired to partner with birth families and support them, I went looking for books, blog posts, podcasts… anything that could give me ideas as to how to support these families, but I couldn’t find anything.

THIS is the book I was looking for (it just hadn’t been written yet!) I highly recommend this to all foster parents who need encouragement, to not-yet-foster parents who are nervous about the ins and outs of the process, and to anyone else who plays even a small part in supporting foster parents — so pretty much everyone should read this. :)

[Collin Lewis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent book. I was surprisingly very encouraged as she explained deep theological concepts in an easy to read way providing a foundation for why we do foster care. This book will be one I will have to return to for exhortation as Sophia and I continue this journey.

Her chapter on community was lacking a greater emphasis on the church. Sophia and I have been overwhelmingly blessed by our church family and have been able to see and experience Christ through them in regards to our situation and our foster children.

Also, the subtitle says that there would be practical help. There wasn’t much of that but more of a foundational help.

Overall a great read!

[Sarah]

Foster care understandably necessitates a slow entry for most who are interested. In 24 hours, we went from foster care as something not fitting our season to immediate and urgent volunteer foster care for a 2 year old boy for three months. Oh, the priceless, precious memories! I would not change a thing, and the nature of the situation wouldn’t allow for advance training. We were learning in the moment; I could have used a little more insight along the way, but there really wasn’t time for that. I reached out to some friends who foster, and they were the exact help I needed. 🤍 This book would be a great help to someone new to foster care or just needing a solid refresh. Foster care is a tremendous gift, not for the faint of heart.

[Annika Lewis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Whew, this book was exactly what I needed in this season. I have followed Jamie on social media for years and got to hear her speak a few months ago, but her words are always such a balm for my weary soul. I highlighted about half of this book and know I will be coming back to it on difficult days (foster parenting related or otherwise, this book is packed with biblical truth for tough seasons). I would recommend this book to every Christian foster parent or any Christian considering becoming a foster parent.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

While I don’t necessarily hold all of the same theological perspectives as the author, I found this book to be a wonderful read. I’m not a foster parent yet, but I think the author gives a realistic view of the many challenges a foster parent will encounter throughout their journey. I like how every moment is framed or reframed through a lense of hope, of faithfulness, and of love. I already viewed foster parenting as a ministry and calling, and this book has given me so many great insights that I know will help me for many years to come.

[Nicole Telaneus · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have followed Jamie on instagram for years and have loved following her journey through foster care and what it looks like to trust and follow God in the midst of it. I have been so excited to read her book! While I’m not a foster parent, just prayerfully considering, this book ministered to me and taught me in so many ways. Although applied to the context of foster care, Jamie encourages readers to believe in and cling to countless timeless truths found in scripture. Anyone could read it and be spurred on and encouraged, and I can only imagine how much more so a foster parent would be.

[Brooke Randolph · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am a big fan of Jamie's emphasis on family preservation and reunification and showing love to biological families, caseworkers, etc. I am not a foster parent, but some of the Christian hope and encouragement were exactly what I needed for other parts of my life. This is a Christian book and will likely not be the right book for those who don't identify as Christian, but it is a must read for all Christian foster parents.

[Eva Geaschel · Rating 4 out of 5]

I highly recommend this!! This book is not only applicable to foster parents, but also applies to parents with biological children, aunts, uncles, basically this book is for anyone who interacts with children.
If you currently foster, desire to foster, or know anyone who fosters, PLEASE read this book.
The author points everything back to Christ. This book is an awesome resource for viewing a gospel centered approach to fear, waiting, anger, injustice, suffering, and so many more daily issues in life. The author is raw and does not shy away from the truth of messy life and total dependence on our Lord and Savior.
I will certainly be reading this book again!

[Adam Miller · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I first began this book, I expected it to be a “humble brag” — a look at all the good the author has done. I was quickly proven wrong. While Ms. Finn draws from her experiences as a foster parent to illustrate her points, the book is highly relatable to any Christian, and the principles she presents are broadly applicable. Though she references multiple Bible translations, Ms. Finn ultimately delivers a cohesive Bible study that is thoughtful and doctrinally sound.

[Kelsey Transmeier · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, just wow. Jamie Finn writes words that not only the hearts of foster parents need to hear - but all parents. How to love people better and dwell in the spirit - even in deep pain. This book makes it feel like you’re having coffee with your person all while soothing the questioning heart of this foster mama.

[Ashlyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommend this book — Jamie shares so much wisdom, guidance, and empathy from her experiences as a foster parent. She continually points to the gospel & biblical truths amidst the hardships of fostering. Although it’s written for foster parents, I think it’s absolutely valuable for those considering fostering or even walking alongside friends/family that are fostering. I so appreciate Jamie’s wisdom she shared in this book!!