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My Pleasure: An Intimate Guide to Loving Your Body and Having Great Sex
Practice pleasure as a form of self-care with this empowering, accessible, and inclusive guide to loving your body and your sex life.
"My Pleasure gives us what so many of us really an invitation to look inward, to accept ourselves, and to ask hard questions. This precious book is one part tactical guide, one part deep soul search. " –Virgie Tovar, author of The Body Positive Journal and You Have the Right to Remain Fat , and founder of Babecamp and #LoseHateNotWeight
This sumptuously illustrated guide will empower you to explore your body and cultivate a satisfying sex life no matter your relationship status. In these pages, body image advocate and sexual wellness expert Laura Delarato teaches that sexual pleasure is an essential form of self-care, and it begins with loving your body and yourself. With a no-holds-barred approach, this engaging bedside book tackles everything from self-confidence to solo play and partner play,
• How to quiet your inner critic and embrace your body as it is
• How to take amazing nudes
• What sex toy is best for you and your body
• How to experiment with different forms of kink
• How to set boundaries in any situationship
Brimming with practical tips, sensual activities, and lush visuals throughout, My Pleasure is a must-have handbook for anyone who seeks a self-determined, pleasure-filled life.
ON Things that were once considered taboo—like sex toys and women's pleasure—are now commonplace in mainstream media. My Pleasure speaks to the growing number of people who are embracing their sexuality and their size, and who want to speak openly and frankly about their body and their needs.
This book is inclusive to people of all genders, sexualities, abilities, and socioeconomic backgrounds. Everyone is welcome here.
PERENNIAL Regardless of what's happening in the world, people will always be having sex, in all its forms. This book is packed with encouraging reminders, practical information, and playful activities that teach readers how to accept and love themselves more fully, and prioritize their pleasure as a form of self-care—because everyone deserves that.
Perfect
• Fans of the sexual wellness and body positivity movement
• Readers of Goop, Refinery29, Come As You Are , and The Body Is Not An Apology
• Followers of body image advocates like Tess Holliday, Katie Sturino, Jessamyn Stanley, and Lizzo
"My Pleasure gives us what so many of us really an invitation to look inward, to accept ourselves, and to ask hard questions. This precious book is one part tactical guide, one part deep soul search. " –Virgie Tovar, author of The Body Positive Journal and You Have the Right to Remain Fat , and founder of Babecamp and #LoseHateNotWeight
This sumptuously illustrated guide will empower you to explore your body and cultivate a satisfying sex life no matter your relationship status. In these pages, body image advocate and sexual wellness expert Laura Delarato teaches that sexual pleasure is an essential form of self-care, and it begins with loving your body and yourself. With a no-holds-barred approach, this engaging bedside book tackles everything from self-confidence to solo play and partner play,
• How to quiet your inner critic and embrace your body as it is
• How to take amazing nudes
• What sex toy is best for you and your body
• How to experiment with different forms of kink
• How to set boundaries in any situationship
Brimming with practical tips, sensual activities, and lush visuals throughout, My Pleasure is a must-have handbook for anyone who seeks a self-determined, pleasure-filled life.
ON Things that were once considered taboo—like sex toys and women's pleasure—are now commonplace in mainstream media. My Pleasure speaks to the growing number of people who are embracing their sexuality and their size, and who want to speak openly and frankly about their body and their needs.
This book is inclusive to people of all genders, sexualities, abilities, and socioeconomic backgrounds. Everyone is welcome here.
PERENNIAL Regardless of what's happening in the world, people will always be having sex, in all its forms. This book is packed with encouraging reminders, practical information, and playful activities that teach readers how to accept and love themselves more fully, and prioritize their pleasure as a form of self-care—because everyone deserves that.
Perfect
• Fans of the sexual wellness and body positivity movement
• Readers of Goop, Refinery29, Come As You Are , and The Body Is Not An Apology
• Followers of body image advocates like Tess Holliday, Katie Sturino, Jessamyn Stanley, and Lizzo
240 pages, Hardcover
Published March 29, 2022
13 people are currently reading
1790 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews
March 7, 2022
Reading this book was like chatting with a friend. Laura's approach to a subject that some might find uncomfortable was honest and informative. The message of living a pleasure filled life begins with loving your whole self. I thought there would be more focus on the sex aspect of self love as the title lead me to believe but I was not terribly disappointed. There are exercises and assignments you can work through or not. I love all the resources provided as well. From podcasts to explore to the best sex toy websites recommended by the author. She even included a glossary! The one disappointment for me were the illustrations. I just couldn't get into them.
April 18, 2022
*Thank you NetGalley for the audio ARC*
I enjoy books about sexuality and sex and this was no exception. I think this book is very informative and well written. I highly recommend to anyone who has intimacy issues or just curious about different aspects of sex.
I'll probably purchase the physical or ebook since there are some workbook exercises that accompany this book.
I enjoy books about sexuality and sex and this was no exception. I think this book is very informative and well written. I highly recommend to anyone who has intimacy issues or just curious about different aspects of sex.
I'll probably purchase the physical or ebook since there are some workbook exercises that accompany this book.
February 27, 2022
DNF
Nothing new, nothing exciting. Didn't enjoy the writing style.
Thank you Chronicle Books for this ARC. This book will be published March 29th, 2022.
Nothing new, nothing exciting. Didn't enjoy the writing style.
Thank you Chronicle Books for this ARC. This book will be published March 29th, 2022.
March 25, 2022
A grown up and modern day (and better in every sense of the word) version of The Care and Keeping of You! Honestly I usually love an audiobook but this is more a guided workbook and I’ll need the hard copy for the podcast rec alone. It’s a well researched and thought out book to help those new to understanding their sexual needs. Ms. Delarato is not a therapist or a relationship counselor but she is that friend you go to for all the good advice. That being said, with all the care she takes it doesn’t always feel incredibly intersectional but that’s ok! It’s meant to be broad and welcoming and I can see a lot of women identifying people learning a thing or two. I would say if you’re further on down your journey into pleasure there is nothing new here but it’s an excellent primer for those who don’t know HOW to talk about what they like.
Thanks to Net Galley and Highbridge Audio for the advanced audiobook.
Thanks to Net Galley and Highbridge Audio for the advanced audiobook.
May 1, 2023
I loved reading this due to Laura's ability to be so informative but yet write in such a casual manner that reading this book was so fun & easy!!
October 12, 2023
Disclaimer: Wedding gift. The book was well written and non-judgemental but uses the word "hot" too much. I'd say high-school would be the correct demographic for the book
January 11, 2022
This book from body image advocate and sexual wellness expert Laura Delarato is like your best friend giving you a warm comforting hug (consensual, of course). The overarching message of the book is to love yourself, physically and mentally, because unless you love yourself how can you expect someone else to love you? Although to be clear you don’t need someone else to love you or validate you — you are enough all on your own ❤️
As far as the nitty-gritty goes, some of the items covered in the book are quieting your inner critic and embracing your body as it is, discovering what you like sexually, how to communicate your needs with a partner, etc. Each section has detailed questions for you, to help you formulate your needs and then meet them.
This is definitely not my first foray into sexual wellness books, and one thing I need to compliment the author on is her inclusivity. Whatever shape your body, whatever your desires, whatever your sexuality...all are welcome. And there is very little gender talk in the book. She generally just refers to the body parts and doesn’t assign a gender to the person with said parts. Very well done!
Thank you to NetGalley & Chronicle Books for this advanced reader copy. All opinions expressed in this review are my own.
As far as the nitty-gritty goes, some of the items covered in the book are quieting your inner critic and embracing your body as it is, discovering what you like sexually, how to communicate your needs with a partner, etc. Each section has detailed questions for you, to help you formulate your needs and then meet them.
This is definitely not my first foray into sexual wellness books, and one thing I need to compliment the author on is her inclusivity. Whatever shape your body, whatever your desires, whatever your sexuality...all are welcome. And there is very little gender talk in the book. She generally just refers to the body parts and doesn’t assign a gender to the person with said parts. Very well done!
Thank you to NetGalley & Chronicle Books for this advanced reader copy. All opinions expressed in this review are my own.
January 18, 2023
TLDR: I recommend this book if you want to experience more pleasure in your life generally, and you’d like inclusive, intersectional, and applicable sex information.
This book’s greatest strength is it’s accessibility: the language is informational, but conversational. Pleasures of all kinds are discussed—mundane, personal, partnered. Terms are freely defined, and the book explicitly welcomes and provides resources for groups of people who have been been conveniently forgotten and actively rejected from mainstream discussions of pleasure and sexuality.
It’s depressing that I’ve read many books on sex and sexuality and this is the first one that’s talked about having sex while fat and having sex while disabled. I’m not ruling out that there are many books I also may just not know about (I’m seeking them out, and recs are welcome)—but I’m happy to see the conversation getting more mainstream. I think the conversation could be even more in-depth—but ideally the conversation about safe, pleasurable sex being for whoever wants to have it should continue after this book anyway.
My feelings about how this book handled gender are mixed—the more sexual information is genitalia-specific and informative without assigning or assuming gender which is affirming and makes for an easier read, but also gender really isn’t mentioned at all. There’s one sentence acknowledging dysphoria’s prevention of pleasure, but I think for most people it’s a bigger deal than a sentence…so is the lack of acknowledgement enough for a totally comfy read? As a cis woman I was comfy. But also that’s usually something that I find suspicious hahaha.
I’m happy the book was written, the exercises are fun (maybe helpful! Time will tell), and I recommend.
This book’s greatest strength is it’s accessibility: the language is informational, but conversational. Pleasures of all kinds are discussed—mundane, personal, partnered. Terms are freely defined, and the book explicitly welcomes and provides resources for groups of people who have been been conveniently forgotten and actively rejected from mainstream discussions of pleasure and sexuality.
It’s depressing that I’ve read many books on sex and sexuality and this is the first one that’s talked about having sex while fat and having sex while disabled. I’m not ruling out that there are many books I also may just not know about (I’m seeking them out, and recs are welcome)—but I’m happy to see the conversation getting more mainstream. I think the conversation could be even more in-depth—but ideally the conversation about safe, pleasurable sex being for whoever wants to have it should continue after this book anyway.
My feelings about how this book handled gender are mixed—the more sexual information is genitalia-specific and informative without assigning or assuming gender which is affirming and makes for an easier read, but also gender really isn’t mentioned at all. There’s one sentence acknowledging dysphoria’s prevention of pleasure, but I think for most people it’s a bigger deal than a sentence…so is the lack of acknowledgement enough for a totally comfy read? As a cis woman I was comfy. But also that’s usually something that I find suspicious hahaha.
I’m happy the book was written, the exercises are fun (maybe helpful! Time will tell), and I recommend.
April 5, 2022
Thank you to NetGalley and Chronicle Books for the chance to read an early copy of this book!
This book was a lot more of a general self-help book than I expected. There was a lot of inclusivity for all kinds of bodies and identities, and there's a very friendly chatty tone. But the portion on "solo play" doesn't start until about 1/3 of the way through, after a lot of discussion of self-love, self-confidence, and self-acceptance, and the portion on "partner play" is practically an afterthought, at about 3/4 through the book. (Though in between those two chapters there's a portion on sex toys, which could of course go either way.) Also, when the cover copy talks about "lush visuals," it is not the kind of visuals I thought; these are not, er, instructional, but rather highly stylized colorful forms suggestive of the human body, almost like art at a hotel trying to be edgy. It's more like a coffee table pep talk "love yourself and feel comfortable exploring and communicating" than anything that goes into super-explicit detail. I didn't come away from this book (snerk) having learned anything new; as other reviewers have noted, this might work well for younger readers.
This book was a lot more of a general self-help book than I expected. There was a lot of inclusivity for all kinds of bodies and identities, and there's a very friendly chatty tone. But the portion on "solo play" doesn't start until about 1/3 of the way through, after a lot of discussion of self-love, self-confidence, and self-acceptance, and the portion on "partner play" is practically an afterthought, at about 3/4 through the book. (Though in between those two chapters there's a portion on sex toys, which could of course go either way.) Also, when the cover copy talks about "lush visuals," it is not the kind of visuals I thought; these are not, er, instructional, but rather highly stylized colorful forms suggestive of the human body, almost like art at a hotel trying to be edgy. It's more like a coffee table pep talk "love yourself and feel comfortable exploring and communicating" than anything that goes into super-explicit detail. I didn't come away from this book (snerk) having learned anything new; as other reviewers have noted, this might work well for younger readers.
January 31, 2022
This was a decent self help guide with plenty of exercises to get you thinking. However, almost half of the book was just general “self care / love thyself” stuff about body size and how to bolster your ego. Yes - Emotional health definitely plays a part in how we see ourselves, and by extension how others see us, which can totally affect a woman sexually. However, the title and front cover blurb absolutely made me prepared for a lot more sexual-wellness and a lot less discussion about body size, etc.
However, let me add that the author has a very engaging style of writing so that it seems as if you were chatting with a friend over coffee. None of the typical boring self help doldrums here! I enjoyed the book as a result - and yes I think the lessons are super important and helpful. I just think maybe the title would be better suited to something like “Self” instead of “Pleasure” because I could see larges sections of the book being useful in a non-sexual way.
However, let me add that the author has a very engaging style of writing so that it seems as if you were chatting with a friend over coffee. None of the typical boring self help doldrums here! I enjoyed the book as a result - and yes I think the lessons are super important and helpful. I just think maybe the title would be better suited to something like “Self” instead of “Pleasure” because I could see larges sections of the book being useful in a non-sexual way.
March 19, 2022
Thank you to NetGalley and Chronicle Books for an advanced copy of the audiobook of My Pleasure by Laura Delarato. I requested this book as an aspiring sex therapist, anticipating that this would be a good resource for couples looking to deepen their practice of sexual freedom. What I got was a body-positive, sex-positive, trauma-informed audiobook that views humans as holistic beings. This audiobook encourages people of all ages, shapes, sizes, sexual orientations, and gender identities to fully embrace who they are and begin to prioritize their own wants and needs in life, including in the bedroom. This book provides strong rationale for putting ourselves and our pleasure first and offers practical ideas for exploring sexuality in solo-play or partnered-play scenarios. And Delarato's writing is downright witty and accessible! I highly recommend this book to anyone who is looking to deepen the practice of self-love in all aspects of their lives.
March 14, 2022
This would be a great guide for young adults, or perhaps people who have had prescriptive ideas and standards about sex and pleasure forced on them for religious, cultural, or other reasons. It's a wonderfully sex-positive, life-affirming manifesto for how to live a life full of self-knowledge and self-care, both solo and with others. Explanations of complicated and "taboo" topics are clear and presented without judgment and there are lots of helpful exercises and scripts for readers to learn themselves and to practice communicating with others, especially on subjects that can be uncomfortable or fraught. It takes most people decades to learn these things, but perhaps a great book like this can help get people on the path to a happier, more fulfilled life of pleasure sooner!
Many thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for the opportunity to read and review!
Many thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for the opportunity to read and review!
January 18, 2022
I've followed Delarato for a while on Instagram in an effort to see more body- and sex-positive influencers while I scroll, so I was excited to see that she had a new book coming out that I could get my hands on (thank you NetGalley!) My Pleasure was a really easy and quick self-help read that guided you through how to love your body and experience more pleasure in life. It talked about women's health, about how to have safe sex in and out of relationships, and how set boundaries in bed. I'm in total agreement that in the US, we need more information and less scare tactics in sex education, so this book is perfect for the adults and teens who want to understand more about their bodies, or learn how to discuss the "taboo" topics.
January 28, 2022
The art in this book is phenomenal! It doesn't come off as garish or in your face and it would honestly be borderline appropriate to leave this out for guests to find!
While I love the book in it's execution, confidence, and concept - it came off as introductory for me. I would have accessed this better as a teenager or college student trying to make sense of sexuality for the first time. It doesn't mean that the book is written solely for younger audiences, anyone who is experiencing sexuality for the first time might find this guidebook helpful. It almost feels like talking with an experienced best friend about what to expect and how to figure yourself out.
It would be great for anyone just starting to explore not only their personal pleasure, but their personal boundaries.
While I love the book in it's execution, confidence, and concept - it came off as introductory for me. I would have accessed this better as a teenager or college student trying to make sense of sexuality for the first time. It doesn't mean that the book is written solely for younger audiences, anyone who is experiencing sexuality for the first time might find this guidebook helpful. It almost feels like talking with an experienced best friend about what to expect and how to figure yourself out.
It would be great for anyone just starting to explore not only their personal pleasure, but their personal boundaries.
May 21, 2025
(2.5)
This book would be better suited for someone who doesn't know anything about sex and has internalized most of the myths that society has taught us. On its own it was a very quick read, but I found it boring so it took much...much longer.
This isn't to say this is a bad book though. I just would prefer something more in depth about elevating pleasure for someone who already has some baseline understanding of things and confidence. That being said, I did enjoy some of the activities included, even if some of the jokes or suggested statements/conversation starters came off as trying too hard or very cringey. I'm sure this would be helpful for someone.
This book would be better suited for someone who doesn't know anything about sex and has internalized most of the myths that society has taught us. On its own it was a very quick read, but I found it boring so it took much...much longer.
This isn't to say this is a bad book though. I just would prefer something more in depth about elevating pleasure for someone who already has some baseline understanding of things and confidence. That being said, I did enjoy some of the activities included, even if some of the jokes or suggested statements/conversation starters came off as trying too hard or very cringey. I'm sure this would be helpful for someone.
December 10, 2021
*thank you netgalley for an arc in exchange for a review.
This was such a good informational read. I haven’t ever read a book for helping my pleasure. As I get older I find I am still finding myself. I used to be embarrassed to talk about sex or to dress “sexy.” I’ve started to become more accepting of my body and learning pleasure is a very important part of our lives and happiness. Laura helps to teach pleasure is a way to self care. Such a wonderful self help guide. I would definitely buy this myself.
This was such a good informational read. I haven’t ever read a book for helping my pleasure. As I get older I find I am still finding myself. I used to be embarrassed to talk about sex or to dress “sexy.” I’ve started to become more accepting of my body and learning pleasure is a very important part of our lives and happiness. Laura helps to teach pleasure is a way to self care. Such a wonderful self help guide. I would definitely buy this myself.
October 6, 2023
Thank you NetGalley for the audiobook ARC in exchange for an honest review.
I'm not usually into self-help books but this is more than the self-indulgent clap-trap pap you see nowadays. There's plenty of inclusivity for all kinds of body shapes and gender identities all said in a very chatty tone as though you were in a room surrounded by people. However, whilst I did finish this book, I didn't learn anything new, and that was a bit of shame.
Three stars.
I'm not usually into self-help books but this is more than the self-indulgent clap-trap pap you see nowadays. There's plenty of inclusivity for all kinds of body shapes and gender identities all said in a very chatty tone as though you were in a room surrounded by people. However, whilst I did finish this book, I didn't learn anything new, and that was a bit of shame.
Three stars.
December 30, 2022
Throughly enjoyed this book! I enjoyed the biology section at the beginning as well as the more descriptive / activity based sections throughout.
I thought that the illustrations were beautiful and abstract, so that they could be interpreted by people differently. I also loved the inclusion and diversity throughout this book!
I thought that the illustrations were beautiful and abstract, so that they could be interpreted by people differently. I also loved the inclusion and diversity throughout this book!
September 21, 2023
took me a while to finish this, but it was overall a good read! i loved the overarching theme that you deserve pleasure, and also that you have the right and should take care in who and who you do not let into your life. that’s something my therapist has been discussing with me a lot lately, so it was nice reading that
March 25, 2022
Nothing new under the sun. Wasn’t impressed with the art at all.
At times this book almost read’s like a pep talk.
To each their own.
https://theworldisabookandiamitsreade...
At times this book almost read’s like a pep talk.
To each their own.
https://theworldisabookandiamitsreade...
March 29, 2022
This book was great. It had lots of great info and resources. It was informative without being too much or making someone uncomfortable. Some of it was introductory but I figure if I learn a few new things than the read was definitely worth it. I did and it is! I definitely recommend!
May 7, 2022
This book is a good primer for an older teen, since it focuses heavily on self-esteem, body image, consent and relationships in frank, encouraging and inclusive ways. I found it a little to self-help-y for me, and a bit basic, but I think in the right hands this could be a useful tool.
June 23, 2023
This book did a great job talking about self-love, self-worth, body-positivity, self-care, etc. Warning if you are not comfortable with sex, your sexuality, or similar topics that you will not enjoy this book. I think it is worth a read.
April 3, 2022
while it felt introductory and therefore redundant to me personally, i am still so grateful for laura and this comprehensive guide to finding and holding onto pleasure
July 17, 2022
*received for free from netgalley for honest review* never read a book like this before so this was an interesting read for sure! well worth the read.
February 19, 2024
Caddyshack three word review:
Relatable, modern & vibrant (no pun intended)
Relatable, modern & vibrant (no pun intended)
March 27, 2022
I received this book for free for review purposes from NetGalley the the publishers. WOW!!! "My Pleasure" was absolutely fabulous. My highlights were all of the positive body image content woven in with sex positive content. As a plus-sized curvy lady, I deeply related to Delarato's life experiences. Books like "My Pleasure" should be taught as sex-ed material for high schoolers. It was informative, well-written, and also funny. We should be able to have fun when we talk about sex and our bodies. I also absolutely adored the list of resources and references at the end of "My Pleasure" and have a whole list of new books and other things to check out. I have already recommended this book to my friends. Thanks to Delarato for teaching me some new tricks and tips, especially related to sex-toy safety and lube safety. This novel is a winner.
July 13, 2022
"My Pleasure" was a bit unexpected. More self-help than how-to. This could be a good exploration tool for someone looking to dig deeper in to understanding what brings them pleasure. Also a nice little confidence boost!
Thank you to NetGalley & the publisher for providing an eARC for review.
Thank you to NetGalley & the publisher for providing an eARC for review.
May 5, 2022
This book is phenomenally written. The author has a way with words that feels very professional while at the same time being kind, empathetic, and extremely human.
While yes, this book does talk a lot about sexual pleasure, all kinds of pleasures are covered. Forming a healthy relationship with yourself and your body is the message that is being sent, and the author guides the audience through the various ways we could do so.
I learned from this book everything I should have learned in health classes as a teen, various health facts that society had lied to me about, and reminded me to be loving and caring to myself.
My needs are important too. My pleasure is important too.
While yes, this book does talk a lot about sexual pleasure, all kinds of pleasures are covered. Forming a healthy relationship with yourself and your body is the message that is being sent, and the author guides the audience through the various ways we could do so.
I learned from this book everything I should have learned in health classes as a teen, various health facts that society had lied to me about, and reminded me to be loving and caring to myself.
My needs are important too. My pleasure is important too.
October 29, 2023
I received this Arc from Netgalley. Thank you for the chance to read this book early. My review is honest and 100% my own thoughts about the book.
I really liked the premise of this book. When I first signed up for the arc, I didn’t realize it was a “self-help” book. I thought it was an erotic novel. However I really enjoyed this. It didn’t feel like I had a judge mental person talking me through the book. Rather it felt like a really good friend that I could trust hugging me and talking me though things.
I loved the message of loving your self both mentally and physically before you are able to have those feeling for anyone else! I also liked how sex positive this book was and had questions for you to answer. It helped you find your self sexually and help you communicate your needs and desires to your partner as well as many other prompts. What I really really enjoyed was that this book was very inclusive. It didn’t matter what your sexual orientation or what sexuality you are. All are welcome! When referring t the body, the author didn’t talk about gender or assigned a gender to the person with the body parts. They just talked about the parts with the proper term. This book was well written and an interesting read.
I really liked the premise of this book. When I first signed up for the arc, I didn’t realize it was a “self-help” book. I thought it was an erotic novel. However I really enjoyed this. It didn’t feel like I had a judge mental person talking me through the book. Rather it felt like a really good friend that I could trust hugging me and talking me though things.
I loved the message of loving your self both mentally and physically before you are able to have those feeling for anyone else! I also liked how sex positive this book was and had questions for you to answer. It helped you find your self sexually and help you communicate your needs and desires to your partner as well as many other prompts. What I really really enjoyed was that this book was very inclusive. It didn’t matter what your sexual orientation or what sexuality you are. All are welcome! When referring t the body, the author didn’t talk about gender or assigned a gender to the person with the body parts. They just talked about the parts with the proper term. This book was well written and an interesting read.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews