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The Kiss Quotient #3
The Heart Principle
Goodreads Choice Award
Nominee for Readers' Favorite Romance (2021)A woman struggling with burnout learns to embrace the unexpected—and the man she enlists to help her—in this new New York Times bestselling romance by Helen Hoang.
When violinist Anna Sun accidentally achieves career success with a viral YouTube video, she finds herself incapacitated and burned out from her attempts to replicate that moment. And when her longtime boyfriend announces he wants an open relationship before making a final commitment, a hurt and angry Anna decides that if he wants an open relationship, then she does, too. Translation: She’s going to embark on a string of one-night stands. The more unacceptable the men, the better.
That’s where tattooed, motorcycle-riding Quan Diep comes in. Their first attempt at a one-night stand fails, as does their second, and their third, because being with Quan is more than sex—he accepts Anna on an unconditional level that she herself has just started to understand. However, when tragedy strikes Anna’s family she takes on a role that she is ill-suited for, until the burden of expectations threatens to destroy her. Anna and Quan have to fight for their chance at love, but to do that, they also have to fight for themselves.
When violinist Anna Sun accidentally achieves career success with a viral YouTube video, she finds herself incapacitated and burned out from her attempts to replicate that moment. And when her longtime boyfriend announces he wants an open relationship before making a final commitment, a hurt and angry Anna decides that if he wants an open relationship, then she does, too. Translation: She’s going to embark on a string of one-night stands. The more unacceptable the men, the better.
That’s where tattooed, motorcycle-riding Quan Diep comes in. Their first attempt at a one-night stand fails, as does their second, and their third, because being with Quan is more than sex—he accepts Anna on an unconditional level that she herself has just started to understand. However, when tragedy strikes Anna’s family she takes on a role that she is ill-suited for, until the burden of expectations threatens to destroy her. Anna and Quan have to fight for their chance at love, but to do that, they also have to fight for themselves.
339 pages, Hardcover
First published August 31, 2021
2177 people are currently reading
173831 people want to read
About the author
Helen Hoang
6 books51.7k followersHelen Hoang is that shy person who never talks. Until she does. And the worst things fly out of her mouth. She read her first romance novel in eighth grade and has been addicted ever since. In 2016, she was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder in line with what was previously known as Asperger’s Syndrome. Her journey inspired THE KISS QUOTIENT. She currently lives in San Diego, California with her husband, two kids, and pet fish.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 17,538 reviews
May 25, 2021
How much of what people say is genuine and how much is politeness? Is anyone really living their life or are we all reading lines from a giant script written by other people?
I gave The Kiss Quotient and The Bride Test five stars, so now I need a sixth star to emphasise how Hoang's latest book was my absolute favourite. The Heart Principle was everything I wanted, and so much more. Hot, sweet, sad, deeply personal. This is a big claim, but it genuinely might be my favourite romance novel ever.
As always, Hoang's author's note explains her personal reasons for writing this kind of story, but I suspected early on that the raw emotions the book explores, and the sad places it goes to, were inspired by her own experiences. For one thing, The Heart Principle is written in first person, not third like her other books, which I generally prefer for romance anyway. For another, I felt completely immersed in this story, pulled so entirely into Anna and Quan's world, their feelings and experiences seeming so real.
There's a lot going on in this book; a lot more than a romance, though that is done excellently too. Anna and Quan are so lovely (I think “I’ll wear rainbows out with you" is the most romantic thing I've ever heard a guy say) , so kind, their vulnerabilities so real, yet the chemistry between them sizzles off the page. One thing Hoang continues to excel at is writing sexy romances where neither of the protagonists are assholes.
As I said, though, there's a lot more than romance going on here. It is about a woman being diagnosed with ASD later in life and beginning to make sense of everything she had previously struggled to mask. It's also about caregiving for someone who is terminally ill, and I really appreciate the discussion Hoang has opened with this. A lot of caregivers find themselves struggling and unable to cope, though they feel too guilty to ask for help. Nobody should feel too ashamed to ask for help when they need it. And the book is also about depression and anxiety, how they can make you feel immobilised, and the long journey of fighting against these illnesses.
It's also, I think, about the burden of expectations. From society, to perform a socially acceptable role. From family and friends, when it comes to caregiving. And from an audience, when you've gained a certain amount of popularity. It makes me sad to think this quote from Anna might reflect Hoang's own feelings:
The truth is art will never be as effortless as it used to be, not now that people have expectations of me.
It's another beautiful emotional book from an author who seems to put so much heart into everything she creates.
October 31, 2021
i have very conflicting feelings about this book and simply rating won't sum up my feelings.
to start, when i finished this book i felt... angry. angry for anna, angry for quan, and then angry that no one properly warned me what this book was all about. i read reviews and i certainly got the feeling that this wasn't going to be a romcom but i didn't expect to come away from this reading experience, frankly, traumatized.
reading that back, it's sounding a little melodramatic and maybe i'm just the most sensitive bitch on the planet but i have a bitter taste in my mouth after finishing. anyway lemme try and explain:
i would say about 70% of this story is sad. anna is tasked with caregiving for a sick relative which i found traumatizing to read about. she's gaslighted continuously by friends and family. she's in a really horrible mental state before all of this happens and it just gets worse as the story goes on. quan is feeling self conscious and sad after his cancer treatment and surgery. he fights for anna who is in no place to give him the love that he needs.
and the other 30% is a romance, sort of. early on in the book i had so much appreciation for quan's patience and all of the sweet scenes between him and anna. but as the book carried on, the romance had to take a back seat to the life stuff and as a result we get two people clinging to each other for imo unexplainable reasons.
to be clear: i did not hate this book. i will forever be in love with helen hoang's focus and attention on autism representation. i was rooting for these characters! and overall the book elicited an emotional reaction a few times which must mean something right? i don't cry over just anything. but when i look at this book as a romance, and especially as one of my most anticipated of the year i can't say that this is going to be a favorite.
to start, when i finished this book i felt... angry. angry for anna, angry for quan, and then angry that no one properly warned me what this book was all about. i read reviews and i certainly got the feeling that this wasn't going to be a romcom but i didn't expect to come away from this reading experience, frankly, traumatized.
reading that back, it's sounding a little melodramatic and maybe i'm just the most sensitive bitch on the planet but i have a bitter taste in my mouth after finishing. anyway lemme try and explain:
i would say about 70% of this story is sad. anna is tasked with caregiving for a sick relative which i found traumatizing to read about. she's gaslighted continuously by friends and family. she's in a really horrible mental state before all of this happens and it just gets worse as the story goes on. quan is feeling self conscious and sad after his cancer treatment and surgery. he fights for anna who is in no place to give him the love that he needs.
and the other 30% is a romance, sort of. early on in the book i had so much appreciation for quan's patience and all of the sweet scenes between him and anna. but as the book carried on, the romance had to take a back seat to the life stuff and as a result we get two people clinging to each other for imo unexplainable reasons.
to be clear: i did not hate this book. i will forever be in love with helen hoang's focus and attention on autism representation. i was rooting for these characters! and overall the book elicited an emotional reaction a few times which must mean something right? i don't cry over just anything. but when i look at this book as a romance, and especially as one of my most anticipated of the year i can't say that this is going to be a favorite.
August 25, 2021
I like that this book tackled heavier subjects and focused on the main character’s development with the romance taking a back burner in the second half of the story. However, the simplicity of the writing didn’t develop the plot points deeply enough for my liking, despite the author writing from a personal place. The romance and overall conclusion also felt rushed. Lastly, I wish the love interest Quan had more development for his own story if we were going to see the protagonist go through a lot on her own too. His story had so much setup in the other books that this one didn’t give as much as promised.
August 9, 2021
I am a fan of Hoang’s writing and this was a great novel. Anna is one of the author’s stronger characters and this was as much a novel about a woman coming into herself and learning to manage a later in life autism diagnosis as it is a sexy romance novel. It was also great to see Quan and Michael again. A very affecting novel I found satisfying in every way.
August 9, 2022
Happy pub day! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Sigh-smile-cry : I’m repeating this routine for last 28 hours after finishing this book because I keep replaying the special moments of the story on my mind. It affected so much more than I expected!
I can honestly say two things about this freaking brilliant story: it’s the most intense, sad, emotional book of the series with most adorable characters.And it’s also best of best book of the series.
Yes, it extremely sentimental, touching your soul, making you sad and stabbing you my heart several times with tiny little glass pieces. You are shaken to the core. You feel so much and it makes you exhausted.
Both of the main characters are so real, genuine, struggling, suffering, exhausted, carrying so much on their shoulders. It’s so easy to connect with them and their problems they’re dealing with.
Especially Anna’s family dynamics, her fight against her own anxiety issues, the pressure she feels to adjust and form normal social relationships are so familiar to me.
There are so many sensitive issues are realistically addressed in this book including grief, terminal disease, cancer, caretaking, stroke, AS. Each issues are discussed open heartedly and teaches us a lot to help connecting with our own life problems and our loved ones who also suffered or still suffering from the same issues.
Anna Sun is a talented violinist who became popular with a viral YouTube video , her career takes out. She goes to international tour, getting record deal and modern composer writes a piece just for her. But after the virtual popularity and being called as music prodigy from several highly important music authorities she feels like suffocated for carrying extra pressure on her shoulders to be unique and perfect! She’s overwhelmed by people’s high expectations. Now she gets lost playing in loops because nothing is good enough.
That’s not her only issue forced her to see a therapist ( if they adapt this book in movie: I hope Jen Anniston plays the therapist) She’s full time people pleaser. She always put people’s needs first and she has no idea what makes her happy, what she truly wants or desires. She observes people and copy their manners to feel normal and be part of social circle.
But she has been struggling for years and she cannot make her family or her boyfriend happy. She never feels good enough! Something should be wrong about her!
When her self centered, narcissistic douche bag boyfriend who never cares to listen her opinions decides they should see different people before getting married ( by the way he didn’t even ask her to marry with him) she gets flabbergasted and angry. Her virtual musician friends encourage her to use dating sites for rebound!
And that’s how her faith crosses with the most sweet, charismatic, kind hearted Quan who can check all the boxes for best book boyfriend ( I think I need extra review space to tell how much I loved him. )
Quan recently survived from a fatal disease. He’s still emotionally struggling but luckily he has lovely supporting family, a great friend and also business partner Michael who may be defined as real brother for him. After his trauma and critical surgery, he buried his head into his kids apparel business he created which attracts attention of leading fashion companies of the industry.
With Michael’s endorsement, he applies dating sides and his path crosses with quirky, smart, intriguing Anna. They start texting, discussing documentaries and their common adoration about the octopus they’ve seen on series.
They decided to have one night hookup but they both have issues to keep things casual and trust a stranger when they’re so sensitive and scared. So several hookup tries later, Quan realizes he doesn’t want to stop seeing her and Anna feels the same about him.
But people make plans God laughs. A family tragedy strikes and Anna takes on role that she’s ill suited for, until her family demands threaten to destroy everything she built with Quan.
It’s sad, meaningful, heart wrenching, powerful and one of the most genuine, real, touchy, soul crushing romantic story. This book is about our traumas, our family issues, being brave, liberating ourselves, taking risks, getting out of our shelves, destroying the barriers we built, our weaknesses make us who we are, power of true love!
No more words! This is best romance of the year. And the best book Helen Hoang has written! I freaking loved it so much!
So many thanks to NetGalley and Berkley Publishing for sharing this digital reviewer copy of the most anticipated book of the year with me in exchange my honest opinions.
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Sigh-smile-cry : I’m repeating this routine for last 28 hours after finishing this book because I keep replaying the special moments of the story on my mind. It affected so much more than I expected!
I can honestly say two things about this freaking brilliant story: it’s the most intense, sad, emotional book of the series with most adorable characters.And it’s also best of best book of the series.
Yes, it extremely sentimental, touching your soul, making you sad and stabbing you my heart several times with tiny little glass pieces. You are shaken to the core. You feel so much and it makes you exhausted.
Both of the main characters are so real, genuine, struggling, suffering, exhausted, carrying so much on their shoulders. It’s so easy to connect with them and their problems they’re dealing with.
Especially Anna’s family dynamics, her fight against her own anxiety issues, the pressure she feels to adjust and form normal social relationships are so familiar to me.
There are so many sensitive issues are realistically addressed in this book including grief, terminal disease, cancer, caretaking, stroke, AS. Each issues are discussed open heartedly and teaches us a lot to help connecting with our own life problems and our loved ones who also suffered or still suffering from the same issues.
Anna Sun is a talented violinist who became popular with a viral YouTube video , her career takes out. She goes to international tour, getting record deal and modern composer writes a piece just for her. But after the virtual popularity and being called as music prodigy from several highly important music authorities she feels like suffocated for carrying extra pressure on her shoulders to be unique and perfect! She’s overwhelmed by people’s high expectations. Now she gets lost playing in loops because nothing is good enough.
That’s not her only issue forced her to see a therapist ( if they adapt this book in movie: I hope Jen Anniston plays the therapist) She’s full time people pleaser. She always put people’s needs first and she has no idea what makes her happy, what she truly wants or desires. She observes people and copy their manners to feel normal and be part of social circle.
But she has been struggling for years and she cannot make her family or her boyfriend happy. She never feels good enough! Something should be wrong about her!
When her self centered, narcissistic douche bag boyfriend who never cares to listen her opinions decides they should see different people before getting married ( by the way he didn’t even ask her to marry with him) she gets flabbergasted and angry. Her virtual musician friends encourage her to use dating sites for rebound!
And that’s how her faith crosses with the most sweet, charismatic, kind hearted Quan who can check all the boxes for best book boyfriend ( I think I need extra review space to tell how much I loved him. )
Quan recently survived from a fatal disease. He’s still emotionally struggling but luckily he has lovely supporting family, a great friend and also business partner Michael who may be defined as real brother for him. After his trauma and critical surgery, he buried his head into his kids apparel business he created which attracts attention of leading fashion companies of the industry.
With Michael’s endorsement, he applies dating sides and his path crosses with quirky, smart, intriguing Anna. They start texting, discussing documentaries and their common adoration about the octopus they’ve seen on series.
They decided to have one night hookup but they both have issues to keep things casual and trust a stranger when they’re so sensitive and scared. So several hookup tries later, Quan realizes he doesn’t want to stop seeing her and Anna feels the same about him.
But people make plans God laughs. A family tragedy strikes and Anna takes on role that she’s ill suited for, until her family demands threaten to destroy everything she built with Quan.
It’s sad, meaningful, heart wrenching, powerful and one of the most genuine, real, touchy, soul crushing romantic story. This book is about our traumas, our family issues, being brave, liberating ourselves, taking risks, getting out of our shelves, destroying the barriers we built, our weaknesses make us who we are, power of true love!
No more words! This is best romance of the year. And the best book Helen Hoang has written! I freaking loved it so much!
So many thanks to NetGalley and Berkley Publishing for sharing this digital reviewer copy of the most anticipated book of the year with me in exchange my honest opinions.
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May 9, 2025I don't even know how to begin to rate or review this book because this isn't the story I signed up to read.
First and foremost, I do want to thank Helen Hoang for being courageous enough to write this story. It's clear that this is a deeply personal book for her, and in the author's note, she said as much, calling this "half a memoir."
I went into this expecting a sweet and heartfelt romance. I'd read both of Hoang's previous two books, and loved them for their diverse and nuanced depiction of people on the autism spectrum. For a condition that's fairly common, the representation of neurodivergent main characters in books and movies is woefully lacking, which is why I found Hoang's books particularly refreshing.
But that isn't the main focus of this book, not by a long shot. Instead, this book should've come with a long list of trigger warnings, including abuse and bullying from family members, gaslighting, emotional blackmail, going against a loved one's wishes during end of life, caregiver burnout, and suicidal thoughts, just to name a few.
The way Asian culture is portrayed in this book, in particular the way Anna's mom and sister disregarded her autonomy at every opportunity and actively worked to keep her mentally beaten down so that she would comply with their wishes, is so accurate as to be too much for me to handle. It hits too close to home. While reading this, I was so distraught I felt almost physically ill.
Can anyone actually remain emotionally in control while reading a story reenacting trauma they themselves have experienced or have watched people they love be subjected to and are still recovering from? If you can, you are a stronger person than I am.
How can I even think about this book in the context of a romance? Whenever Quan and Anna are together, it's beautiful, but other than the initial setup, it was just a few pages here and there. The romantic and sexy scenes, when they did show up, felt so jarring against the otherwise darkness that is this story.
I made it all the way to the end of this book, but I shouldn't have started. It reopened wounds I'm working hard to heal and move on from. I felt like I was being sliced open from the inside, and it was traumatic and distressing.
I think most readers will love this book and appreciate its unflinching and truthful portrayal. But my personal experiences make me unable to enjoy it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
See also, my thoughts on:
#1. The Kiss Quotient
#2. The Bride Test
~~~~~~~~~~~~
✧ Connect with me ✧ Instagram ✧
✧ This was a pick for my BOTM box. Get your first book for $5 here.
First and foremost, I do want to thank Helen Hoang for being courageous enough to write this story. It's clear that this is a deeply personal book for her, and in the author's note, she said as much, calling this "half a memoir."
I went into this expecting a sweet and heartfelt romance. I'd read both of Hoang's previous two books, and loved them for their diverse and nuanced depiction of people on the autism spectrum. For a condition that's fairly common, the representation of neurodivergent main characters in books and movies is woefully lacking, which is why I found Hoang's books particularly refreshing.
But that isn't the main focus of this book, not by a long shot. Instead, this book should've come with a long list of trigger warnings, including abuse and bullying from family members, gaslighting, emotional blackmail, going against a loved one's wishes during end of life, caregiver burnout, and suicidal thoughts, just to name a few.
The way Asian culture is portrayed in this book, in particular the way Anna's mom and sister disregarded her autonomy at every opportunity and actively worked to keep her mentally beaten down so that she would comply with their wishes, is so accurate as to be too much for me to handle. It hits too close to home. While reading this, I was so distraught I felt almost physically ill.
Can anyone actually remain emotionally in control while reading a story reenacting trauma they themselves have experienced or have watched people they love be subjected to and are still recovering from? If you can, you are a stronger person than I am.
How can I even think about this book in the context of a romance? Whenever Quan and Anna are together, it's beautiful, but other than the initial setup, it was just a few pages here and there. The romantic and sexy scenes, when they did show up, felt so jarring against the otherwise darkness that is this story.
I made it all the way to the end of this book, but I shouldn't have started. It reopened wounds I'm working hard to heal and move on from. I felt like I was being sliced open from the inside, and it was traumatic and distressing.
I think most readers will love this book and appreciate its unflinching and truthful portrayal. But my personal experiences make me unable to enjoy it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
See also, my thoughts on:
#1. The Kiss Quotient
#2. The Bride Test
~~~~~~~~~~~~
✧ Connect with me ✧ Instagram ✧
✧ This was a pick for my BOTM box. Get your first book for $5 here.
September 1, 2021
Two individuals from different worlds that cross paths towards the way of healing, and learning more about each other for the better of their individual selves...
Years of anticipation made us all Helen Hoang lovers crave Quan's novel for a very long time. Now that's finally here there is a lot that shocked me while reading his book. This is not just a romance novel that touches base on two characters that find the best of each other both physically and emotionally. This is also a story of a young woman who struggles with the institution of finding herself and accepting her real identity as a woman that is part of the spectrum. The beauty of it all, with the knowledge that we know of Helen's personal story as being part of the spectrum as well, is the first pov difference in comparison to the first and second novel that we got.
With Anna being at a cross roads of accepting the open relation her boyfriend wants to be in, or separate from the one person whom she has thought will be the one for her due to the fact that her family adores him. She has to come to a realization by herself that saying "no" is a standing decision that is an inner struggle. Because all she wants is to please her family and the struggle to say "no" is not an easy task. Especially when her older sister puts so much pressure on her to not have an "attitude" and act like the way she should be acting. With that, Anna is also stuck with the fact that she must find some inspiration to help her finish her violin piece that has been in the loop of not ever being done.
And then we have Quan... the sexy, kendo lover, tattooed big hulk of a man that has a heart made of passion and love. A teddy bear of a man who wants nothing more in life than to love Anna and make her feel comfortable with herself. But at the same, he keep himself guarded after a life changing choice he had to make that made him doubt whether he would ever be able to be with someone as beautiful and smart as Anna. And when they are both finally together, he learns that struggle of being accepted by her family is not an easy task either. Something in which I can relate to as being part of the hispanic culture, where your parents will always want the best for you and will judge anyone who comes in the way. Even without them knowing you. And that is the first encounter he comes across when he meets Anna's parents. Being judged is not something new to him, but not being accepted after demonstrating that he is worthy is unlike his character. But no matter what, Anna will always accept him the way he is, and her path with his will always align;
With that being said, this is a story filled with personal acknowledgment by Helen. A story that will give you an insight to her inner mental battles as a woman in this generation that is part of the spectrum. Not everyone can understand, but knowing what to do and what not to do is also a good insight to those whom cannot express themselves in the spectrum. Helen knows how much I appreciate her as an author, and she knows that hers have a strong power to brake it or make it in the book community. To end this long review, I just want to give you a fair warning to have your box of tissues ready... because you will need 'em.
ARC kindly provided by Berkley Romance, in exchange for an honest review...
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Years of anticipation made us all Helen Hoang lovers crave Quan's novel for a very long time. Now that's finally here there is a lot that shocked me while reading his book. This is not just a romance novel that touches base on two characters that find the best of each other both physically and emotionally. This is also a story of a young woman who struggles with the institution of finding herself and accepting her real identity as a woman that is part of the spectrum. The beauty of it all, with the knowledge that we know of Helen's personal story as being part of the spectrum as well, is the first pov difference in comparison to the first and second novel that we got.
With Anna being at a cross roads of accepting the open relation her boyfriend wants to be in, or separate from the one person whom she has thought will be the one for her due to the fact that her family adores him. She has to come to a realization by herself that saying "no" is a standing decision that is an inner struggle. Because all she wants is to please her family and the struggle to say "no" is not an easy task. Especially when her older sister puts so much pressure on her to not have an "attitude" and act like the way she should be acting. With that, Anna is also stuck with the fact that she must find some inspiration to help her finish her violin piece that has been in the loop of not ever being done.
And then we have Quan... the sexy, kendo lover, tattooed big hulk of a man that has a heart made of passion and love. A teddy bear of a man who wants nothing more in life than to love Anna and make her feel comfortable with herself. But at the same, he keep himself guarded after a life changing choice he had to make that made him doubt whether he would ever be able to be with someone as beautiful and smart as Anna. And when they are both finally together, he learns that struggle of being accepted by her family is not an easy task either. Something in which I can relate to as being part of the hispanic culture, where your parents will always want the best for you and will judge anyone who comes in the way. Even without them knowing you. And that is the first encounter he comes across when he meets Anna's parents. Being judged is not something new to him, but not being accepted after demonstrating that he is worthy is unlike his character. But no matter what, Anna will always accept him the way he is, and her path with his will always align;
"I'm not surprised that I'm coming straight to her. My compass always points to her..."
With that being said, this is a story filled with personal acknowledgment by Helen. A story that will give you an insight to her inner mental battles as a woman in this generation that is part of the spectrum. Not everyone can understand, but knowing what to do and what not to do is also a good insight to those whom cannot express themselves in the spectrum. Helen knows how much I appreciate her as an author, and she knows that hers have a strong power to brake it or make it in the book community. To end this long review, I just want to give you a fair warning to have your box of tissues ready... because you will need 'em.
ARC kindly provided by Berkley Romance, in exchange for an honest review...
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September 11, 2021
Quan finally getting his own story
Me:
I have been eagerly awaiting Quan's book since I first read about him in The Kiss Quotient, a few years ago. I always knew that his book was going to be amazing because he was just such an amazing character and I was totally right! This book was by far my favorite of the three books in this series.
As always, Helen Hoang fills her books with complex and compelling characters going through their own journeys of personal and emotional growth, as well as falling in love. Anna was such an interesting and strong character. Her story was heartbreaking and incredibly emotional. Anna feels as if she carries the weight and pressure of the world on her shoulders as she struggles to come to terms with the things that make her different while also trying her hardest to fit into the role her family has decided for her.
Then there's Quan, who was always emotional support in these books. He was always so confident and self-assured, but after recovering from cancer he's suddenly doubting himself. In this book, we get to see the depth and complexity of his character and I loved every second of it.
**This last part may contain minor spoilers. Nothing specific is said but I know some of y'all are sensitive to spoilers so beware!**
While I was reading the ending of this book I couldn't help but feel slightly disappointed. I wanted that neat happily ever after where everything is quickly wrapped up and everyone smiles and all is fine with the world. And while this book does have a happily ever after (it by definition isn't a romance book if it doesn't) it's not one that was easily earned. It didn't come right after the characters got together. The problems weren't all magically fixed. And the more about it, the more that this became my favorite thing about the book. Being in love doesn't fix everything. It doesn't cure depression or solve years' worth of trauma. But being with people that love you certainly does make things easier. Helen Hoang truly wrote the perfect ending in that regard.
**POTENTIAL SPOILER ENDED**
My one issue with his book is that for all that it's well written and emotional, and great, it's not as romance-focused as a romance novel should be. Romance takes a back seat for large chunks of the book to the point that the two leads go weeks at a time without seeing each other. And yes, it's to deal with their respective issues, but it is a romance novel after all and I wanted all those missed moments.
All that said, in the end, I really enjoyed this book and really look forward to whatever else Helen Hoang has in store!
TW: severe anxiety/depression, ableism, cancer, death of a loved one, suicidal ideation
Rating: 4.25/5
**I received an ARC of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.**
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Me:
I have been eagerly awaiting Quan's book since I first read about him in The Kiss Quotient, a few years ago. I always knew that his book was going to be amazing because he was just such an amazing character and I was totally right! This book was by far my favorite of the three books in this series.
As always, Helen Hoang fills her books with complex and compelling characters going through their own journeys of personal and emotional growth, as well as falling in love. Anna was such an interesting and strong character. Her story was heartbreaking and incredibly emotional. Anna feels as if she carries the weight and pressure of the world on her shoulders as she struggles to come to terms with the things that make her different while also trying her hardest to fit into the role her family has decided for her.
Then there's Quan, who was always emotional support in these books. He was always so confident and self-assured, but after recovering from cancer he's suddenly doubting himself. In this book, we get to see the depth and complexity of his character and I loved every second of it.
**This last part may contain minor spoilers. Nothing specific is said but I know some of y'all are sensitive to spoilers so beware!**
While I was reading the ending of this book I couldn't help but feel slightly disappointed. I wanted that neat happily ever after where everything is quickly wrapped up and everyone smiles and all is fine with the world. And while this book does have a happily ever after (it by definition isn't a romance book if it doesn't) it's not one that was easily earned. It didn't come right after the characters got together. The problems weren't all magically fixed. And the more about it, the more that this became my favorite thing about the book. Being in love doesn't fix everything. It doesn't cure depression or solve years' worth of trauma. But being with people that love you certainly does make things easier. Helen Hoang truly wrote the perfect ending in that regard.
**POTENTIAL SPOILER ENDED**
My one issue with his book is that for all that it's well written and emotional, and great, it's not as romance-focused as a romance novel should be. Romance takes a back seat for large chunks of the book to the point that the two leads go weeks at a time without seeing each other. And yes, it's to deal with their respective issues, but it is a romance novel after all and I wanted all those missed moments.
All that said, in the end, I really enjoyed this book and really look forward to whatever else Helen Hoang has in store!
TW: severe anxiety/depression, ableism, cancer, death of a loved one, suicidal ideation
Rating: 4.25/5
**I received an ARC of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.**
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July 19, 2021When Anna’s boyfriend declares he wants an open relationship, her hurt and anger propel her to have a one-night stand. But things don’t go according to plan once she meets Quan. After multiple failed attempts to have their one night only, they quickly realize their connection is deeper than anticipated. If you’ve read Helen's other books in the trilogy, you might be surprised by just how emotionally raw this one is. But if you’re prepared for the journey, it’s a great one.
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July 15, 2021For those who are interested, I'd be honored to sign a copy of this book for you. You can order here (they ship internationally): https://www.therippedbodicela.com/pro...
Thank you to everyone who's reading and reviewing this book! Truly, thank you from the bottom of my heart. This is an extremely personal book for me, and it means the world to me that you're gifting me with your time. I wish you well. <3
Thank you to everyone who's reading and reviewing this book! Truly, thank you from the bottom of my heart. This is an extremely personal book for me, and it means the world to me that you're gifting me with your time. I wish you well. <3
June 3, 2022
Just sobbed my way through the author's note and I am not okay wow this was absolutely Helen Hoang's best book yet. So very different from her previous work, but in the best way. I can definitely see why this book wouldn't work for everyone; it is extremely different from the previous two books in the series and has a much, much darker tone and subject matter. But if I'm being honest, this was probably my favorite in the series for those exact reasons. This book was such a heartfelt exploration of anxiety and burn out, and how hard it can be to have to watch a loved one not be able to take care of themselves and it was just so raw and so powerful. While I personally loved this, I'll be blunt: if you go into this one expecting a romance like the previous two installments in the series, you will probably be disappointed. This book does have a romance (and a very sweet one, at that), but it absolutely takes a back seat to Anna's own personal journey working through her severe depression. I have said this before, but with this book more than most, please be mindful of content warnings and proceed with caution if you plan to read. This book was hard to read but if you think you can handle the subject matter it was so, so worth it. Helen Hoang is a gift.
CW: severe anxiety/depression/burnout, ableism, hospice care, cancer, sterility, death of a loved one, toxic familial relationships, suicidal ideation
CW: severe anxiety/depression/burnout, ableism, hospice care, cancer, sterility, death of a loved one, toxic familial relationships, suicidal ideation
September 13, 2021
5+ stars
I was not expecting this. I didn't think The Heart Principle would hit so hard, but it really did. I wasn't ready for this book. I felt so overwhelmed while reading it, but my goodness... I loved it so much. I wouldn't be surprised if this ended up being my top read of 2021.
Anna Sun is a violinist who is struggling. After going viral in a YouTube video she's felt the pressure and it's building and building each and every day. In all aspects of her life she feels this way, but especially when it comes to the violin. Quan is struggling as well, but in a different way. After a health scare/medical procedure, he's not felt 100% like himself. They're both coping in different ways.
When Anna and Quan meet, neither are in the best place, Anna specifically. Quan never judges Anna for this. He never expects anything or asks for more than she can give and he was the most patient man. So genuine, real, and exceptional. Quan is an incredible guy. The romance of this book wasn't always the primary focus, but it was a big part of the story and such a gorgeous part.
Anna's story is so multifaceted and there were parts that were so relatable to me, and other parts that weren't at all. My heart broke for her. A big part of this book shows Anna struggling with caregiver burn out and essentially feeling forced to do this caregiving when it doesn't feel natural to her. I personally am a natural caregiver. It was easy for me to decide to be a nurse. It's not always an easy job and it can be even harder taking care of your own loved ones. There were times in this book I cried for Anna. Caregiving is such a hard job and making decisions for your loved ones when they can't is one of the hardest things ever. Especially .
Reading the authors note at the end and hearing from Helen and how much she could relate to Anna, especially the mental health aspect of her story just made me respect Hoang more. How brave is it to put that part of your life, the hardest part, out there and share it with us. It's important to talk about and I'm so glad that Helen did. Anna's story wasn't always easy to read, but her growth was inspirational and I loved watching her soar.
With every Helen Hoang book I read, I'm blown away more and more. She is such a talented writer and the stories she brings to life are all unique, real, and stunning. The Heart Principle is her best work to date. It's raw, heart wrenching, healing, beautiful, and powerful. This book was everything and is a must read for all readers. Trust me, it's worth the tears!
“You’re a big deal—to me. You’re amazing—to me."
I was not expecting this. I didn't think The Heart Principle would hit so hard, but it really did. I wasn't ready for this book. I felt so overwhelmed while reading it, but my goodness... I loved it so much. I wouldn't be surprised if this ended up being my top read of 2021.
Anna Sun is a violinist who is struggling. After going viral in a YouTube video she's felt the pressure and it's building and building each and every day. In all aspects of her life she feels this way, but especially when it comes to the violin. Quan is struggling as well, but in a different way. After a health scare/medical procedure, he's not felt 100% like himself. They're both coping in different ways.
When Anna and Quan meet, neither are in the best place, Anna specifically. Quan never judges Anna for this. He never expects anything or asks for more than she can give and he was the most patient man. So genuine, real, and exceptional. Quan is an incredible guy. The romance of this book wasn't always the primary focus, but it was a big part of the story and such a gorgeous part.
"Just because something isn’t perfect doesn’t mean we need to throw it away.”
He’s talked to me a reasonable amount, listened to me, laughed with me, seen me at my worst, held me while I cried. And he stayed because I asked him to.
Anna's story is so multifaceted and there were parts that were so relatable to me, and other parts that weren't at all. My heart broke for her. A big part of this book shows Anna struggling with caregiver burn out and essentially feeling forced to do this caregiving when it doesn't feel natural to her. I personally am a natural caregiver. It was easy for me to decide to be a nurse. It's not always an easy job and it can be even harder taking care of your own loved ones. There were times in this book I cried for Anna. Caregiving is such a hard job and making decisions for your loved ones when they can't is one of the hardest things ever. Especially .
Reading the authors note at the end and hearing from Helen and how much she could relate to Anna, especially the mental health aspect of her story just made me respect Hoang more. How brave is it to put that part of your life, the hardest part, out there and share it with us. It's important to talk about and I'm so glad that Helen did. Anna's story wasn't always easy to read, but her growth was inspirational and I loved watching her soar.
“I’ll draw a line around you, and I’ll protect you and stand up for you and speak up for you when it’s right. I’ll keep you safe. And I’ll do the same for me. Because I matter, too.”
With every Helen Hoang book I read, I'm blown away more and more. She is such a talented writer and the stories she brings to life are all unique, real, and stunning. The Heart Principle is her best work to date. It's raw, heart wrenching, healing, beautiful, and powerful. This book was everything and is a must read for all readers. Trust me, it's worth the tears!
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December 18, 2021**Sneakily obtained on NG from the UK publisher since the US publisher doesn’t countenance requests from plebs like me. Actually, I do feel legitimately guilty for having got this, since I requested because I wanted it, not because I thought I had any right to receive. And the imposter syndrome was so severe I thought about apologetically returning it but, well, I didn’t. Anyway, ARC received when it probably shouldn’t have been. Will buy on release**
Honestly, I think this is a fucking masterpiece. There’s a rawness to it, a conviction and a fearlessness that is absolutely breath-taking. As well as a love story, it’s a story about love: love for oneself alongside love for others, and its capacity to do inestimable harm, as well as to protect, heal and liberate. The Heart Principle is devastating. And yet so filled with the promise of hope that it made me go ugly-cry in the shower.
Ahem. Anyway.
Our heroine, Anna, is a violinist who—having obtained some unexpected success—is in creative crisis. Obsessed with an idea of unobtainable perfection, she can get only get partway through a piece of music before the voices in her head, insisting she is flawed and unworthy, force her back to the beginning. In the midst of this emotional crisis, her (clearly rubbish) boyfriend abruptly decides they need a period of time to “see other people” before committing to each other, confident that she’ll patiently wait for him, while he gets to fuck around. Anna’s therapist, meanwhile, suspecting that Anna might have ASD, confronts her about her “masking” – a costly social survival strategy for people with ASD that involves mimicking neurotypical behaviours in the hope of gaining social acceptance.
In an effort to practice, err, de-masking, Anna decides to have a one-night stand. After all, a stranger’s judgement (and potential rejection) shouldn’t matter to her, right? Enter Quan, Michael’s lovely and very, very attractive cousin from The Kiss Quotient, who also needs to re-enter the dating pool, having recently physically (though not necessarily emotionally) recovered from surgery to combat testicular cancer.
As you can tell from just the summary, there’s a lot going on this book, and a lot for the heroine and the hero to overcome, including the illness and death of Anna’s father, and her relationship with her family, who have always made her feel like capitulation on every front is her only hope for acceptance from them. It is far from an easy journey—the late-middle section where Anna, in the grip of autistic burnout, is forced to care for her father who just wants to die with what is left of his dignity is profoundly harrowing—but there is at the same time something courageous and even kind of reassuring in such a frank and unflinching approach to both the reality of trauma and the possibility of rescue and self-rescue.
The Heart Principle is simply this: that it doesn’t matter how badly you fuck up, or how difficult the present feels, you always deserve to go on. To try. To hope for better. You don’t have to go back to the beginning. Or condemn yourself to nothing but blank pages. As someone who has loved and grieved, who has craved acceptance that will never come, who still struggles with art, and for that matter self-love, the book got me in some really vulnerable and personal places. I don’t have anything explicitly in common with any of the characters, but I felt understood and spoken to regardless. That’s … that’s a really special gift for a book written by a stranger to give you.
Something else that struck me as kind of remarkable was the way that the book managed to weave all its very complex themes into a coherent whole, each of the various narrative elements—love, family, desire, art, identity—serving to reflect upon the others. It’s primarily Anna’s story (although I will say Quan is a wonderful love interest and their romance develops beautifully) but I was fascinated by the way Anna’s vulnerability and Quan’s vulnerability spring from the same toxic well of social expectation. Anna has spent her whole life trying to conceal her true self. Quan no longer feels certain of his masculinity because of his surgery. Together, they’re able to let themselves believe that identity is who you are, not how the world sees you or how other people judge you. And watching them find acceptance for themselves through acceptance of each other is incredibly moving.
On a lighter note: the sexing is lovely too. Communication, consent-focused, non-heteronormative. I love heroines who are able to articulate and manifest specific desires, and heroes who are committed to supporting those desires. I feel there needs to be more of this in the genre in general: sex as something broad and individualistic, not just this one thing that starts with kissing, moves to some boob squeezing, and ends in PIV.
I also love the way that Helen Hoang tends to tease apart gendered tropes in her work. There’s a spectacular heroine grovel + very personal grand gesture in this book. Which, needless to say, I was very very here for.
If I had to complain about anything, and honestly I’m not super minded to, I could have done with the final 10% of the book rushing past a little less quickly. With Anna finally able to confront her family, prioritise herself and re-unite with Quan, there’s a lot of collapse/recovery/recover-more ground glossed over very quickly. Obviously recovery is always a slow and, frankly, dull process but I think, by that point, I was sufficiently emotionally invested in Anna herself that I wanted to spend a little longer with her, especially as she put herself back together.
But. Eh. That is a nit on a nit of a nitpick. I loved this book. Deeply and sincerely, and with genuine gratitude for its existence.
If you do pick it up: trigger warnings for … oh dear me. Familial emotional abuse, gaslighting, death of a parent, non-consensual medical care given to a patient, detailed medical treatment, neuronormativity, creative and autistic burnout, non-physical self-harm. As ever, take care of yourself first.
Before I wrap this review, I guess I also want to take a moment to check out the elephant in this room we’re all in. And, listen, it’s not my place to make pronouncements about what the romance genre is or should be. As long as I’ve been writing I’ve been told, explicitly and implicitly, romance is for straight white cis middle class American women and anyone else is here on sufferance. And that’s … that’s what it is. So I’m not positioning myself as any kind of authority or making claims that it isn't my place to make.
But, like, the elephant? There’s an elephant over there. The elephant being, is this book a genre romance.
And the thing is, the question of what a genre romance is has been growing increasingly complicated with the rise of … well—this is another elephant, by the way—marginalised voices.
Do not, however, mistake me here: I would NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS argue against the central tenet of romance being the HEA/HFN. That is, and should be, indisputable. I just think what HEA/HFN looks like becomes, uh, complicated when you assume it’s this one thing that’s the same for everyone. Much like genre depictions of sex, now I come to think about it.
The slightly broader definition of romance is: central love story, optimistic ending. And, obviously, those are subjective criteria. If you hate the hero, and think he’s a dick, it doesn’t matter if the protagonist gets their HEA with him: that’s not going to read as an optimistic ending to you, it’s going to read as someone making a terrible mistake. Similarly, ‘central’ is always going to be open to debate: basically there are and have always been dual protagonist romances (where each character gets a similar amount of POV and their own arc) and sole protagonist romances where the love interest may or may get their own arc, or POV sections, but exists more to support the arc of the protagonist. In both cases, the love story is still ‘central’ – it’s just presented differently.
As far as I’m concerned, The Heart Principle is a romance because it ends on an HEA/HFN, the love story is central (the narrative could not exist without it, and even when Quan isn’t on page, his presence is felt) and the heroine ends the book in a better place than she started it. Thus the ending is hopeful and optimistic.
Where it becomes difficult, I think, is that the ending of The Heart Principle, like the narrative itself is complicated. It is not perfect. Anna is still estranged from her sister. She is tentatively putting her career back together in ways that feel healthy and meaningful, but she’s not a smash hit. Quan is still a survivor of testicular cancer and will not be able to have biological children. Anna’s father is still, y’know, dead. And her relationship with her family may always be strained – because that is, honestly, a reality for many marginalised people existing in the world as it currently is. She's always going to be someone with ASD and that's going to impact her life in various ways, as are the years she spent trying to re-create herself in the image her family demanded.
But, to me, that doesn't mean it's not a HEA/HFN. Trauma and damage--the compromises of reality--do not and should not negate happiness. The HEA of a character with ASD and an extremely negative relationship with her family shouldn't be deemed less H or less EA than the HEA of a character without ASD whose family are super lovely.
To be honest, it troubles me that we are so eager to declare the HEA/HFN’s of marginalised characters (and those presented by marginalised writers) invalid or inadequate simply because they do not reinforce the expected paradigms of non-marginalised people. Do we deserve less happiness, less joy, because we had to struggle more? Because our lives are less perfect? And may not look like yours?
And, yes, we can shrug and shunt such romances into the “women’s fiction” category, claiming that they aren’t a “proper” HEA/HFN on the basis that social compromise, for all that it’s a reality for most marginalised people, means the ending isn’t “happy enough” by non-marginalised standards. Except doesn’t that just continue to send the message that a genre romance is not, in fact, any book with a central love story and an optimistic ending, but rather a book that reflects that most normative ideals of what happiness and love look like. Instead of embracing diverse writers and diverse stories. And books like The Heart Principle which, from my undeniably subjective perspective, only enrich the genre.
Addendum: I should also clarify that I'm not taking issue with anyone for whom this book did not work, who did not find the relationship between Anna and Quan sufficiently central to the story for their personal preferences for a genre romance. That's totally cool. We all get to think whatever we like about books on an individual basis. I think it's the broader discourse around what genre romance should look like that continues to trouble me, not least because questions regarding whether a book is a romance or not, or whether the HEA/HFN meets implied criteria not covered by the broad definition of romance (central love story, optimistic ending) tends to focus almost exclusively on the work of marginalised authors. That, to me, is worth interrogating.
Honestly, I think this is a fucking masterpiece. There’s a rawness to it, a conviction and a fearlessness that is absolutely breath-taking. As well as a love story, it’s a story about love: love for oneself alongside love for others, and its capacity to do inestimable harm, as well as to protect, heal and liberate. The Heart Principle is devastating. And yet so filled with the promise of hope that it made me go ugly-cry in the shower.
Ahem. Anyway.
Our heroine, Anna, is a violinist who—having obtained some unexpected success—is in creative crisis. Obsessed with an idea of unobtainable perfection, she can get only get partway through a piece of music before the voices in her head, insisting she is flawed and unworthy, force her back to the beginning. In the midst of this emotional crisis, her (clearly rubbish) boyfriend abruptly decides they need a period of time to “see other people” before committing to each other, confident that she’ll patiently wait for him, while he gets to fuck around. Anna’s therapist, meanwhile, suspecting that Anna might have ASD, confronts her about her “masking” – a costly social survival strategy for people with ASD that involves mimicking neurotypical behaviours in the hope of gaining social acceptance.
In an effort to practice, err, de-masking, Anna decides to have a one-night stand. After all, a stranger’s judgement (and potential rejection) shouldn’t matter to her, right? Enter Quan, Michael’s lovely and very, very attractive cousin from The Kiss Quotient, who also needs to re-enter the dating pool, having recently physically (though not necessarily emotionally) recovered from surgery to combat testicular cancer.
As you can tell from just the summary, there’s a lot going on this book, and a lot for the heroine and the hero to overcome, including the illness and death of Anna’s father, and her relationship with her family, who have always made her feel like capitulation on every front is her only hope for acceptance from them. It is far from an easy journey—the late-middle section where Anna, in the grip of autistic burnout, is forced to care for her father who just wants to die with what is left of his dignity is profoundly harrowing—but there is at the same time something courageous and even kind of reassuring in such a frank and unflinching approach to both the reality of trauma and the possibility of rescue and self-rescue.
The Heart Principle is simply this: that it doesn’t matter how badly you fuck up, or how difficult the present feels, you always deserve to go on. To try. To hope for better. You don’t have to go back to the beginning. Or condemn yourself to nothing but blank pages. As someone who has loved and grieved, who has craved acceptance that will never come, who still struggles with art, and for that matter self-love, the book got me in some really vulnerable and personal places. I don’t have anything explicitly in common with any of the characters, but I felt understood and spoken to regardless. That’s … that’s a really special gift for a book written by a stranger to give you.
Something else that struck me as kind of remarkable was the way that the book managed to weave all its very complex themes into a coherent whole, each of the various narrative elements—love, family, desire, art, identity—serving to reflect upon the others. It’s primarily Anna’s story (although I will say Quan is a wonderful love interest and their romance develops beautifully) but I was fascinated by the way Anna’s vulnerability and Quan’s vulnerability spring from the same toxic well of social expectation. Anna has spent her whole life trying to conceal her true self. Quan no longer feels certain of his masculinity because of his surgery. Together, they’re able to let themselves believe that identity is who you are, not how the world sees you or how other people judge you. And watching them find acceptance for themselves through acceptance of each other is incredibly moving.
On a lighter note: the sexing is lovely too. Communication, consent-focused, non-heteronormative. I love heroines who are able to articulate and manifest specific desires, and heroes who are committed to supporting those desires. I feel there needs to be more of this in the genre in general: sex as something broad and individualistic, not just this one thing that starts with kissing, moves to some boob squeezing, and ends in PIV.
I also love the way that Helen Hoang tends to tease apart gendered tropes in her work. There’s a spectacular heroine grovel + very personal grand gesture in this book. Which, needless to say, I was very very here for.
If I had to complain about anything, and honestly I’m not super minded to, I could have done with the final 10% of the book rushing past a little less quickly. With Anna finally able to confront her family, prioritise herself and re-unite with Quan, there’s a lot of collapse/recovery/recover-more ground glossed over very quickly. Obviously recovery is always a slow and, frankly, dull process but I think, by that point, I was sufficiently emotionally invested in Anna herself that I wanted to spend a little longer with her, especially as she put herself back together.
But. Eh. That is a nit on a nit of a nitpick. I loved this book. Deeply and sincerely, and with genuine gratitude for its existence.
If you do pick it up: trigger warnings for … oh dear me. Familial emotional abuse, gaslighting, death of a parent, non-consensual medical care given to a patient, detailed medical treatment, neuronormativity, creative and autistic burnout, non-physical self-harm. As ever, take care of yourself first.
Before I wrap this review, I guess I also want to take a moment to check out the elephant in this room we’re all in. And, listen, it’s not my place to make pronouncements about what the romance genre is or should be. As long as I’ve been writing I’ve been told, explicitly and implicitly, romance is for straight white cis middle class American women and anyone else is here on sufferance. And that’s … that’s what it is. So I’m not positioning myself as any kind of authority or making claims that it isn't my place to make.
But, like, the elephant? There’s an elephant over there. The elephant being, is this book a genre romance.
And the thing is, the question of what a genre romance is has been growing increasingly complicated with the rise of … well—this is another elephant, by the way—marginalised voices.
Do not, however, mistake me here: I would NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS argue against the central tenet of romance being the HEA/HFN. That is, and should be, indisputable. I just think what HEA/HFN looks like becomes, uh, complicated when you assume it’s this one thing that’s the same for everyone. Much like genre depictions of sex, now I come to think about it.
The slightly broader definition of romance is: central love story, optimistic ending. And, obviously, those are subjective criteria. If you hate the hero, and think he’s a dick, it doesn’t matter if the protagonist gets their HEA with him: that’s not going to read as an optimistic ending to you, it’s going to read as someone making a terrible mistake. Similarly, ‘central’ is always going to be open to debate: basically there are and have always been dual protagonist romances (where each character gets a similar amount of POV and their own arc) and sole protagonist romances where the love interest may or may get their own arc, or POV sections, but exists more to support the arc of the protagonist. In both cases, the love story is still ‘central’ – it’s just presented differently.
As far as I’m concerned, The Heart Principle is a romance because it ends on an HEA/HFN, the love story is central (the narrative could not exist without it, and even when Quan isn’t on page, his presence is felt) and the heroine ends the book in a better place than she started it. Thus the ending is hopeful and optimistic.
Where it becomes difficult, I think, is that the ending of The Heart Principle, like the narrative itself is complicated. It is not perfect. Anna is still estranged from her sister. She is tentatively putting her career back together in ways that feel healthy and meaningful, but she’s not a smash hit. Quan is still a survivor of testicular cancer and will not be able to have biological children. Anna’s father is still, y’know, dead. And her relationship with her family may always be strained – because that is, honestly, a reality for many marginalised people existing in the world as it currently is. She's always going to be someone with ASD and that's going to impact her life in various ways, as are the years she spent trying to re-create herself in the image her family demanded.
But, to me, that doesn't mean it's not a HEA/HFN. Trauma and damage--the compromises of reality--do not and should not negate happiness. The HEA of a character with ASD and an extremely negative relationship with her family shouldn't be deemed less H or less EA than the HEA of a character without ASD whose family are super lovely.
To be honest, it troubles me that we are so eager to declare the HEA/HFN’s of marginalised characters (and those presented by marginalised writers) invalid or inadequate simply because they do not reinforce the expected paradigms of non-marginalised people. Do we deserve less happiness, less joy, because we had to struggle more? Because our lives are less perfect? And may not look like yours?
And, yes, we can shrug and shunt such romances into the “women’s fiction” category, claiming that they aren’t a “proper” HEA/HFN on the basis that social compromise, for all that it’s a reality for most marginalised people, means the ending isn’t “happy enough” by non-marginalised standards. Except doesn’t that just continue to send the message that a genre romance is not, in fact, any book with a central love story and an optimistic ending, but rather a book that reflects that most normative ideals of what happiness and love look like. Instead of embracing diverse writers and diverse stories. And books like The Heart Principle which, from my undeniably subjective perspective, only enrich the genre.
Addendum: I should also clarify that I'm not taking issue with anyone for whom this book did not work, who did not find the relationship between Anna and Quan sufficiently central to the story for their personal preferences for a genre romance. That's totally cool. We all get to think whatever we like about books on an individual basis. I think it's the broader discourse around what genre romance should look like that continues to trouble me, not least because questions regarding whether a book is a romance or not, or whether the HEA/HFN meets implied criteria not covered by the broad definition of romance (central love story, optimistic ending) tends to focus almost exclusively on the work of marginalised authors. That, to me, is worth interrogating.
January 1, 2023
#1 The Kiss Quotient — 3.25 stars
#2 The Bride Test — 2.5 stars
#3 The Heart Principle — 2.25 stars
©
1. this was A W F U L . 😭
2. reading this was like opening a can of worms, and it left you traumatized.
3. when people say this is NOT a lighthearted romance, theyre entirely off base. first of all, i thought it meant this was the kind of heavy romance that would make me cry in blissful agony, but i didnt even shed a tear because i was too busy feeling ANGER and FRUSTRATION.
4. second of all, this ISNT a romance. those who say it is, y’all can kiss my ass! 🤡
5. this is a diary of a personal tragedy. the story of Anna Sun who grew up to be a people pleaser, her struggle to say the word NO and stand up for herself, as well as her journey to finding out about her autism diagnosis, to self-acceptance, and to self-love. except, the last two are contrived and happen so quickly.
6. theres nothing wrong with THAT. however, to categorize it under romance is a little out of place imo. 🙃
7. the (good & bad) worms:
8. everyone in this book needs therapy, and members of the Sun family should be admitted to a mental institution. (looking at you, Pris!)
9. i was really frustrated with Anna and her helplessness, but i truly ABHORRED her SISTER Pris-zilla. (take your tough love act somewhere else, and LEAVE ANNA ALONE!!!) she was such a bitch and so nasty with her demands and patronizing remarks. i wish i could put voodoo on her. 👿
10. when HH says this is half memoir, i hope she didnt imply that she was also raised by an ignorant mother and a heartless sister.
©
11. WHO IS THIS PERSON ACTING AS QUAN AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO THE REAL HIM? i’d known that there was going to be a sick character and it was Anna’s father, but the blurb didnt allude to anything unpleasant going on with Quan. i didnt know he would be having some health/body image issue of his own. this really threw me off and i didnt like it.
12. Quan’s character was thrown in the back burner, and i didnt get why he had to be “equipped” with the aforementioned storyline if it was never going to be explored. like, dUDE, please ELABORATE! i have questions. his character was also reduced to being the supportive boyfriend which was sweet and all, but cmon he had potential and it was all wasted. 😭
13. the book was so caught up in Anna and her family drama that the romance barely had the chance to flourish. it was cute at the beginning, but it quickly got sideswept during Part II and Part III. as if that wasnt unfair enough, it was also basically just a REPEAT of Michael & Stella’s romance in The Kiss Quotient. only, Quan & Anna’s was set against a backdrop that was ten times depressing.
14. the fact that Michael acted like a brother to Quan more than Khải did had me realising that i shouldve given The Kiss Quotient more credit.
15. the ending was a blatant disservice to the characters and the readers (or maybe just me) who had gone through similar battles to Quan and Anna. it was rushed, and all the “worms” were being shoved under the rug. i feel like HH brought up so many troubling issues, but she didnt tackle them and just glossed right over them by the end.
16. judging from the epilogue, , and im curious.
©
17. theres an Author’s Note at the end of this book that *justifies* why this book is the way it is, which makes me feel mean and insensitive for not appreciating the story more, but i couldnt lie and say that the execution didnt leave a bitter taste in my mouth. 💔
18. i wouldnt recommend this if youre currently going through a rough time and is looking for an escape. this book wont give you one.
19. if this book gets nominated for Best Romance in this year’s Goodreads Choice Awards,i think im going to jump myself off a cliff ... im raising the white flag cause GCA is a hopeless endeavor just like this book.
20. TW: creative burnout, cancer, sterility, toxic familial relationship, ableism, non-consensual medical care given to a patient, death of a parent, caregiver depression, suicidal thoughts.
(read as an audiobook)
#2 The Bride Test — 2.5 stars
#3 The Heart Principle — 2.25 stars
©
EDIT: i crossed out a couple points that have caused some misunderstandings. if you want to scold me on them or ask questions, someones already beat you to it and ive already answered. so please look for the explanations in the comments section. im tired of repeating myself.
1. this was A W F U L . 😭
2. reading this was like opening a can of worms, and it left you traumatized.
3. when people say this is NOT a lighthearted romance, theyre entirely off base. first of all, i thought it meant this was the kind of heavy romance that would make me cry in blissful agony, but i didnt even shed a tear because i was too busy feeling ANGER and FRUSTRATION.
4. second of all, this ISNT a romance. those who say it is, y’all can kiss my ass! 🤡
5. this is a diary of a personal tragedy. the story of Anna Sun who grew up to be a people pleaser, her struggle to say the word NO and stand up for herself, as well as her journey to finding out about her autism diagnosis, to self-acceptance, and to self-love. except, the last two are contrived and happen so quickly.
6. theres nothing wrong with THAT. however, to categorize it under romance is a little out of place imo. 🙃
7. the (good & bad) worms:
8. everyone in this book needs therapy, and members of the Sun family should be admitted to a mental institution. (looking at you, Pris!)
9. i was really frustrated with Anna and her helplessness, but i truly ABHORRED her SISTER Pris-zilla. (take your tough love act somewhere else, and LEAVE ANNA ALONE!!!) she was such a bitch and so nasty with her demands and patronizing remarks. i wish i could put voodoo on her. 👿
10. when HH says this is half memoir, i hope she didnt imply that she was also raised by an ignorant mother and a heartless sister.
©
11. WHO IS THIS PERSON ACTING AS QUAN AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO THE REAL HIM? i’d known that there was going to be a sick character and it was Anna’s father, but the blurb didnt allude to anything unpleasant going on with Quan. i didnt know he would be having some health/body image issue of his own. this really threw me off and i didnt like it.
12. Quan’s character was thrown in the back burner, and i didnt get why he had to be “equipped” with the aforementioned storyline if it was never going to be explored. like, dUDE, please ELABORATE! i have questions. his character was also reduced to being the supportive boyfriend which was sweet and all, but cmon he had potential and it was all wasted. 😭
13. the book was so caught up in Anna and her family drama that the romance barely had the chance to flourish. it was cute at the beginning, but it quickly got sideswept during Part II and Part III. as if that wasnt unfair enough, it was also basically just a REPEAT of Michael & Stella’s romance in The Kiss Quotient. only, Quan & Anna’s was set against a backdrop that was ten times depressing.
14. the fact that Michael acted like a brother to Quan more than Khải did had me realising that i shouldve given The Kiss Quotient more credit.
15. the ending was a blatant disservice to the characters and the readers (or maybe just me) who had gone through similar battles to Quan and Anna. it was rushed, and all the “worms” were being shoved under the rug. i feel like HH brought up so many troubling issues, but she didnt tackle them and just glossed right over them by the end.
16. judging from the epilogue, , and im curious.
©
17. theres an Author’s Note at the end of this book that *justifies* why this book is the way it is, which makes me feel mean and insensitive for not appreciating the story more, but i couldnt lie and say that the execution didnt leave a bitter taste in my mouth. 💔
18. i wouldnt recommend this if youre currently going through a rough time and is looking for an escape. this book wont give you one.
19. if this book gets nominated for Best Romance in this year’s Goodreads Choice Awards,
20. TW: creative burnout, cancer, sterility, toxic familial relationship, ableism, non-consensual medical care given to a patient, death of a parent, caregiver depression, suicidal thoughts.
(read as an audiobook)
April 12, 2022
5 stars! I loved it! I cried! Helen Hoang's best to date!
It's been a long wait for Quan's book, but it was worth it. I already love all of Hoang's characters, however this book felt so incredibly personal and so heart-filled, it go to be my favorite of hers.
After 5 years together, Anna's boyfriend suggests that they open up their relationship, so that they know they are not missing out on anything before they decide on the marriage. As he proceeds to immediately hook up with other people, Anna decides that she should have a one-night stand of her own too.
On the other hand, after 2 years filled with health issues, Quan is considering getting back in the game and wants to start with an easy hookup.
Anna and Quan are matched on the same dating app, and voila. However, their attempts at a casual hookup don't work. Both of them have their own struggles. They try once, twice, three times. Smutty things happen, but there are complications. When does this, whatever this is, become a real relationship?
I love these people. I love their deep human connection. Anna and Quan are just so, so nice, so vulnerable and open. It has to be said, I am glad the era of "a bad boy" is over. Nice and kind and caring is what's sexy now.
But besides this hot and sweet romance, The Heart Principle is much more. There is a conversation about diagnosing autism in women, learning to advocate for one's needs, there is a recovery after serious health scares and the psychological burden of caring for terminally sick. It's not a light, easy book. But it's so full of heart. No wonder, it is based on Helen Hoang's personal experience.
I've said it about Helen's previous two books, and I'll say it again about The Heart Principle. Read it. You'll love it.
______
So I've noticed that the plot summary is totally different from what it was two years ago, but no less enticing. When are ARCs going to be available? Because I am dying for some Quan time@.@.
______
Oh yes, it's Quan!
I sure hope this info is the real thing. I love Sabrina.
This is Quan’s book. Helen Hoang defines it as a “kind of a cross between a gender-swapped Sabrina and Say Anything”
It's been a long wait for Quan's book, but it was worth it. I already love all of Hoang's characters, however this book felt so incredibly personal and so heart-filled, it go to be my favorite of hers.
After 5 years together, Anna's boyfriend suggests that they open up their relationship, so that they know they are not missing out on anything before they decide on the marriage. As he proceeds to immediately hook up with other people, Anna decides that she should have a one-night stand of her own too.
On the other hand, after 2 years filled with health issues, Quan is considering getting back in the game and wants to start with an easy hookup.
Anna and Quan are matched on the same dating app, and voila. However, their attempts at a casual hookup don't work. Both of them have their own struggles. They try once, twice, three times. Smutty things happen, but there are complications. When does this, whatever this is, become a real relationship?
I love these people. I love their deep human connection. Anna and Quan are just so, so nice, so vulnerable and open. It has to be said, I am glad the era of "a bad boy" is over. Nice and kind and caring is what's sexy now.
But besides this hot and sweet romance, The Heart Principle is much more. There is a conversation about diagnosing autism in women, learning to advocate for one's needs, there is a recovery after serious health scares and the psychological burden of caring for terminally sick. It's not a light, easy book. But it's so full of heart. No wonder, it is based on Helen Hoang's personal experience.
I've said it about Helen's previous two books, and I'll say it again about The Heart Principle. Read it. You'll love it.
______
So I've noticed that the plot summary is totally different from what it was two years ago, but no less enticing. When are ARCs going to be available? Because I am dying for some Quan time@.@.
______
Oh yes, it's Quan!
I sure hope this info is the real thing. I love Sabrina.
This is Quan’s book. Helen Hoang defines it as a “kind of a cross between a gender-swapped Sabrina and Say Anything”
October 3, 2021
i thought this was a definite improvement from the previous book in the series!
i think its important to note that this isnt the most light-hearted of romance books. its tackles some very real-world problems when it comes to mental health, burnout, the pressure to make others happy, and familial duty/obligations. while i did experience some moments of intense frustration when it came to annas inability to say no/stand up for herself or her families degrading lack of compassion, i did find this to be enjoyable overall. i think the patience and understanding between quan and anna is adorable and something the story desperately needs.
my only complaint would be how unexplored quan and his storyline is. hes gone through something pretty traumatic but it feels like his recovery and how he views himself is overlooked. hes seeking validation and getting it from someone who doesnt currently have the emotional capacity to give it to him, let alone herself, and i feel like thats not properly addressed. its as if quans character was forced to become a support to annas character, and his own development suffered because of it.
but all in all, this is a sweet (and at times emotionally difficult) story that i think many readers will be able to identify with.
↠ 3.5 stars
i think its important to note that this isnt the most light-hearted of romance books. its tackles some very real-world problems when it comes to mental health, burnout, the pressure to make others happy, and familial duty/obligations. while i did experience some moments of intense frustration when it came to annas inability to say no/stand up for herself or her families degrading lack of compassion, i did find this to be enjoyable overall. i think the patience and understanding between quan and anna is adorable and something the story desperately needs.
my only complaint would be how unexplored quan and his storyline is. hes gone through something pretty traumatic but it feels like his recovery and how he views himself is overlooked. hes seeking validation and getting it from someone who doesnt currently have the emotional capacity to give it to him, let alone herself, and i feel like thats not properly addressed. its as if quans character was forced to become a support to annas character, and his own development suffered because of it.
but all in all, this is a sweet (and at times emotionally difficult) story that i think many readers will be able to identify with.
↠ 3.5 stars
January 26, 2023
So i'm just supposed to sit here and accept the fact that i dont have a Quan?
Cruel 😪
Cruel 😪
December 16, 2022
Hello and welcome to my review of this romance novel, which is the least romantic thing I have ever read.
I've had Zoom meetings with more passion and intimacy. And that is saying a lot, because there is nothing more devoid of emotion than anything called a "virtual touchbase."
There is no love in this book. no fluff. No fun. Some smut but not that much. No quirky best friends or silly little side plots.
What there is, and i cannot stress this enough, is SO much suffering.
Hoang has said this book is half memoir, which is all well and good, and none of it is particularly terrible. It's just completely in the wrong genre. I wish the author wrote that memoir, instead, or even a contemporary. I would have read that too, and I would have liked it a lot more.
As is, this is a setup for dashed expectations and disappointment. To an almost frustrating extent.
Our protagonist, Anna, is going through it, A Little Life style. Every aspect of her life is raw pain: her mom doesn't care about him, her dad is slowly dying and she wants him to go, her sister is selfish and awful. She's unable to engage in her life's passion, which is also her career, so throw in a lack of fulfillment and (presumably) financial woes. Her only friends are two members of a group chat who live not at all nearby. And she's reckoning with a diagnosis of "Asperger's" (the fictional healthcare professional's term, for some reason, not mine) that her sister flat-out denies and mocks.
And in between all this, we're supposed to be caring about a mostly hookup-based romance, which effectively is tucked in between spare moments of immense struggle.
Even the first sex scene takes place in the protagonist's childhood bedroom, in the same house where her dad is slowly dying!
Our protagonist has so much growth and learning to do by the end of this book, and instead, it's all packed into a weird epilogue, with her in a relationship with Quan that once again falls by the wayside all the while.
I love memoirs so much and I wish this was one, but trying to care about some paltry love story with very little page time while mourning and grief should be at the forefront was bizarre.
Bottom line: Not mad, just disappointed. And also being disappointed makes me mad.
------------
pre-review
in the author's note, hoang notes this book is half memoir.
to be honest, i wish it was 100% memoir, because not even 1% of it was romance.
review to come / 2ish stars
------------
currently-reading updates
i hated - okay, strongly disliked - the first book in this trilogy, and enjoyed the second.
how will i feel about the third?!
life is full of mystery and adventure.
------------
reading books by asian authors for aapi month!
book 1: kim jiyoung, born 1982
book 2: siren queen
book 3: the heart principle
I've had Zoom meetings with more passion and intimacy. And that is saying a lot, because there is nothing more devoid of emotion than anything called a "virtual touchbase."
There is no love in this book. no fluff. No fun. Some smut but not that much. No quirky best friends or silly little side plots.
What there is, and i cannot stress this enough, is SO much suffering.
Hoang has said this book is half memoir, which is all well and good, and none of it is particularly terrible. It's just completely in the wrong genre. I wish the author wrote that memoir, instead, or even a contemporary. I would have read that too, and I would have liked it a lot more.
As is, this is a setup for dashed expectations and disappointment. To an almost frustrating extent.
Our protagonist, Anna, is going through it, A Little Life style. Every aspect of her life is raw pain: her mom doesn't care about him, her dad is slowly dying and she wants him to go, her sister is selfish and awful. She's unable to engage in her life's passion, which is also her career, so throw in a lack of fulfillment and (presumably) financial woes. Her only friends are two members of a group chat who live not at all nearby. And she's reckoning with a diagnosis of "Asperger's" (the fictional healthcare professional's term, for some reason, not mine) that her sister flat-out denies and mocks.
And in between all this, we're supposed to be caring about a mostly hookup-based romance, which effectively is tucked in between spare moments of immense struggle.
Even the first sex scene takes place in the protagonist's childhood bedroom, in the same house where her dad is slowly dying!
Our protagonist has so much growth and learning to do by the end of this book, and instead, it's all packed into a weird epilogue, with her in a relationship with Quan that once again falls by the wayside all the while.
I love memoirs so much and I wish this was one, but trying to care about some paltry love story with very little page time while mourning and grief should be at the forefront was bizarre.
Bottom line: Not mad, just disappointed. And also being disappointed makes me mad.
------------
pre-review
in the author's note, hoang notes this book is half memoir.
to be honest, i wish it was 100% memoir, because not even 1% of it was romance.
review to come / 2ish stars
------------
currently-reading updates
i hated - okay, strongly disliked - the first book in this trilogy, and enjoyed the second.
how will i feel about the third?!
life is full of mystery and adventure.
------------
reading books by asian authors for aapi month!
book 1: kim jiyoung, born 1982
book 2: siren queen
book 3: the heart principle
August 3, 2021
I’ll write an actual review when I’m not in the middle of the literal Grand Canyon, but I loved this.
ALSO THE GRAND CANYON WAS MENTIONED IN THIS BOOK WHILE I WAS READING IT IN THE GRAND CANYON. NOT SUPER RELEVANT, BUT I THOUGHT IT WAS NEAT.
ALSO THE GRAND CANYON WAS MENTIONED IN THIS BOOK WHILE I WAS READING IT IN THE GRAND CANYON. NOT SUPER RELEVANT, BUT I THOUGHT IT WAS NEAT.
August 11, 2021
I hate giving Helen Hoang a one star review. I really do. I loved The Kiss Quotient and The Bride Test and have been looking forward to this book for months, but...it just doesn't work. It's not a romance. It's a contemporary fiction book about coming to terms with an autism diagnosis and battling mental illness. That would be great if it were a stand-alone, but it's not. It's the third in a romance series and that makes all the difference.
It's clear Hoang was working through some stuff when writing this book. You really don't need to read the Author's Note to know that. It is a complete shift from the previous two books (ironic given that one of the themes is OCD), from the change to first person to the sudden colour scheme shift in the BOTM edition (which I hate, btw). Again, that would be fine...for a stand-alone. For a romance it's a painful, terrible to read mess.
Anna is dealing with undiagnosed depression and autism, but, more importantly, she has a crippling inability to say 'no'. To her terrible boyfriend, to her parents, to her sister, to anyone except Quan. In both previous Helen Hoang books (and, frankly, in any well-written romance), this would result in a climax where she learns to stand up for herself and deals with her issues while she and Quan are apart, resulting in a satisfying resolution when they get back together. Spoiler: this is not a well written romance. This is a book about depression and autism. As a result, Anna is completely unlikeable and, by the end, I didn't want her and Quan together.
Quan is quite possibly the best character of the series. He's a great friend, a great brother, and has been shown to be a confident, caring guy in the previous two books. He's great. He's dealing with his own issues in this book, but that great guy is still there. He deserved a better love interest than a girl who is so fundamentally incapable of disappointing people that .
In The Kiss Quotient, Michael learns he's not his father and Stella learns there's nothing wrong with being autistic. In The Bride Test, Khai comes to terms with the loss of his cousin/best friend and Esme learns to value herself. These are by far the best parts of the book. That evolution of character is why Pride and Prejudice is such an enduring favourite. If this were written well, if it were written to the previous standard of Helen Hoang romances, Anna and Quan wouldn't get back together until Anna had done the hard work of learning to live with her mental health challenges.
As I've said before, this is not a romance. The resolution of the book, rather than being about Anna and Quan's romance, is about Anna. The entire book centres around her and her problems, rather than her and Quan. It is fundamentally unfair to Quan as a character and to the romance genre as a whole.
Anna's problems also bring up a very real consent issue. She is so incapable of saying 'no' that at the beginning of the book we see her being treated like a human blow-up doll by her boyfriend. A person with that level of self-loathing and people-pleasing should not be anywhere near romantic or sexual relationships. It's not safe for them, it's not safe for the people they date/sleep with. The only reason it's not blatantly rape-y in the book is that (a) it's written in first person so we can see from Anna's perspective that she's into Quan and (b) Hoang relies on the tired romance trope of Quan magically being the only person (literally, the only person) who can see through Anna's acting. It's troubling and perpetuates the myth that someone who truly loves you will just know everything you want/need. (Like, can we get a hashtag about this? #stopromanticisingmindreading2k21)
I do blame Hoang's editor and publisher for a lot of the problems with this book. Someone should have stopped this long before it went to print. It should have been redirected to contemporary fiction without the romantic plot and the next proper romance in the series should have been put off until Hoang had worked through what she needed with this. Yes, I am sure there are logistical reasons why that wasn't feasible. And, yes, I would have still had at least some issues with it regardless (mainly with the idea that you must always forgive family even when they're actively abusive), but as it stands...I am giving a one star review to one of my favourite authors. That isn't something I have ever done before.
It's clear Hoang was working through some stuff when writing this book. You really don't need to read the Author's Note to know that. It is a complete shift from the previous two books (ironic given that one of the themes is OCD), from the change to first person to the sudden colour scheme shift in the BOTM edition (which I hate, btw). Again, that would be fine...for a stand-alone. For a romance it's a painful, terrible to read mess.
Anna is dealing with undiagnosed depression and autism, but, more importantly, she has a crippling inability to say 'no'. To her terrible boyfriend, to her parents, to her sister, to anyone except Quan. In both previous Helen Hoang books (and, frankly, in any well-written romance), this would result in a climax where she learns to stand up for herself and deals with her issues while she and Quan are apart, resulting in a satisfying resolution when they get back together. Spoiler: this is not a well written romance. This is a book about depression and autism. As a result, Anna is completely unlikeable and, by the end, I didn't want her and Quan together.
Quan is quite possibly the best character of the series. He's a great friend, a great brother, and has been shown to be a confident, caring guy in the previous two books. He's great. He's dealing with his own issues in this book, but that great guy is still there. He deserved a better love interest than a girl who is so fundamentally incapable of disappointing people that .
In The Kiss Quotient, Michael learns he's not his father and Stella learns there's nothing wrong with being autistic. In The Bride Test, Khai comes to terms with the loss of his cousin/best friend and Esme learns to value herself. These are by far the best parts of the book. That evolution of character is why Pride and Prejudice is such an enduring favourite. If this were written well, if it were written to the previous standard of Helen Hoang romances, Anna and Quan wouldn't get back together until Anna had done the hard work of learning to live with her mental health challenges.
As I've said before, this is not a romance. The resolution of the book, rather than being about Anna and Quan's romance, is about Anna. The entire book centres around her and her problems, rather than her and Quan. It is fundamentally unfair to Quan as a character and to the romance genre as a whole.
Anna's problems also bring up a very real consent issue. She is so incapable of saying 'no' that at the beginning of the book we see her being treated like a human blow-up doll by her boyfriend. A person with that level of self-loathing and people-pleasing should not be anywhere near romantic or sexual relationships. It's not safe for them, it's not safe for the people they date/sleep with. The only reason it's not blatantly rape-y in the book is that (a) it's written in first person so we can see from Anna's perspective that she's into Quan and (b) Hoang relies on the tired romance trope of Quan magically being the only person (literally, the only person) who can see through Anna's acting. It's troubling and perpetuates the myth that someone who truly loves you will just know everything you want/need. (Like, can we get a hashtag about this? #stopromanticisingmindreading2k21)
I do blame Hoang's editor and publisher for a lot of the problems with this book. Someone should have stopped this long before it went to print. It should have been redirected to contemporary fiction without the romantic plot and the next proper romance in the series should have been put off until Hoang had worked through what she needed with this. Yes, I am sure there are logistical reasons why that wasn't feasible. And, yes, I would have still had at least some issues with it regardless (mainly with the idea that you must always forgive family even when they're actively abusive), but as it stands...I am giving a one star review to one of my favourite authors. That isn't something I have ever done before.
Want to read
October 8, 2021Putting this aside for now.
The story is too bleak for my liking, my mood right now. Being in Anna’s head is exhausting. Her past trauma and current life are so grim and I can’t hack it. I want to give this book a fair shot since I’ve been looking forward to it, so I’ll be returning to it at some point.
———————————
Do I even need to say that this book needs to be about Quan? No.
But I will add my voice to the masses SO DEAR GOD PLEASE LET THIS BE ABOUT QUAN!
The story is too bleak for my liking, my mood right now. Being in Anna’s head is exhausting. Her past trauma and current life are so grim and I can’t hack it. I want to give this book a fair shot since I’ve been looking forward to it, so I’ll be returning to it at some point.
———————————
Do I even need to say that this book needs to be about Quan? No.
But I will add my voice to the masses SO DEAR GOD PLEASE LET THIS BE ABOUT QUAN!
October 2, 2021
when you’re most anticipated release becomes your most disappointing book of the year 😅
this was one of my anticipated releases of the year and i’m honestly so sad because i was disappointed by it. Quan was my favorite character in the trilogy and for his book to be my least favorite book hurts. i really don’t care for online dating as a romance trope because why would i read about that when i can just go experience it myself? i just expected something more fun and i did not get that.
but also the book in general just didn’t feel like the rest of the book? i know that the author based the main character, anna, struggles on her own but it just didn’t seem fitting for the book and kind of made the tone of the series awkward. the plotline was heavily focused on mental health and overbearing family’s, i don’t mind that but when i go into a romance i kind of.. you know, expect the main plot to be romance.
this was one of my anticipated releases of the year and i’m honestly so sad because i was disappointed by it. Quan was my favorite character in the trilogy and for his book to be my least favorite book hurts. i really don’t care for online dating as a romance trope because why would i read about that when i can just go experience it myself? i just expected something more fun and i did not get that.
but also the book in general just didn’t feel like the rest of the book? i know that the author based the main character, anna, struggles on her own but it just didn’t seem fitting for the book and kind of made the tone of the series awkward. the plotline was heavily focused on mental health and overbearing family’s, i don’t mind that but when i go into a romance i kind of.. you know, expect the main plot to be romance.
September 4, 2021
I loved this book but holy shit, was this book sad. I was not expecting this book to be so incredibly sad and heavy and depressing, especially because the first two books in the series are pretty light-hearted and steamy and fun. So just a warning before you read it: this book is a lot, and it will probably make you cry a lot, and I wish I had known that going in because I was just wanting something light and fun and this book hurt to read.
I loved the romance between Anna and Quan, it was beautiful and it felt so real. However, I don’t think the romance is the main aspect of the story, this is very much a coming of age story for Anna, it’s about her finding her voice, learning things about herself, and dealing with real tragedy. I was already bawling my eyes out at the end and then I read the authors note and I cried even more.
I loved the romance between Anna and Quan, it was beautiful and it felt so real. However, I don’t think the romance is the main aspect of the story, this is very much a coming of age story for Anna, it’s about her finding her voice, learning things about herself, and dealing with real tragedy. I was already bawling my eyes out at the end and then I read the authors note and I cried even more.
September 17, 2024
i’m not even surprised honestly. ‘the kiss quotient’ & ‘the bride test’ were both 5 stars for me so this was a no brainer. i’ve been WAITING for Quan’s book and it did not disappoint. this one was so much deeper & more emotional than the rest and I loved that. I adored the conversations about therapy, diagnosis, autism, depression, and grief. I smiled, I swooned, I teared up.. I felt every emotion possible while reading this. Anna is an absolute angel and I fell in love with her, and Quan?? oh me, oh my! 😮💨 their connection throughout the book was everything, and I loved seeing Michael & Stella. I wish there was more of Khai & Esme but that’s just because they’re my favs. ANYWAYYYY— this series, big yes all around.
“my compass always points to her.”
“my compass always points to her.”
August 19, 2022
#1 The Kiss Quotient ★★★★★
#2 The Bride Test ★★★★☆
#3 The Heart Principle ★★★★★
I'm terrified that if I slip, if I fail, everyone will stop loving me, and where will I be then?
Sometimes, a book is so bad, it's hard to give it a fair review. Other times, a book is so magnificent, it's hard to put my thoughts into words. And then, there are books like The Heart Principle, which hit me so deeply that, no matter how much I loved the book, it hurts too much to review until I've had time to process.
This book hurt me in all of the best ways. It drew out so many little pieces of myself, some that I don't believe even I had looked in the eye yet, and laid them all out in the light where I couldn't avoid facing them any longer. It's been 3 months since I finished this book, and I'm still working through a few of those shards. Helen Hoang has a way of doing that to me, though.
I haven't hurt anyone. I shouldn't be ashamed. I shouldn't need to apologize. This is me.
I'm supposed to be telling you how much I love this book, too, and I do. Out of this entire series, despite having loved each and every installment very much, this was my favorite, by leaps and bounds. Quan and Anna mean so very much to me, and watching the two of them find happiness — even if they had to fight tooth and nail for it — was a journey I can't imagine having missed out on.
The Heart Principle is an incredibly heavy, tragic read at times. There are moments where I found myself wondering how Helen Hoang could ever deliver the HEA I had been promised, because Quan and Anna are both broken in so many ways — but, much like with real people in the real world, healing isn't an overnight process. It isn't easy, and it isn't pretty... but it's doable, and it's worth the fight.
"The only good thing this broken heart of mine can feel is love for you."
Even with the weight of the topics this story covers, though, there are so many shimmering moments of joy and light. We get to see characters we love from the previous installments, and we meet one or two new ones that I wish we could have more time with, too. We get to watch Anna and Quan triumph over so many battles, both within themselves and in the outside world, and the love that these two find together is one of the most satisfying, hard-earned love stories I've read in the romance genre. If you're comfortable with the content within (I'll list everything I can remember in the content warnings below), I can't recommend this book enough.
✨ Representation: Anna is Chinese and autistic, Quan is Vietnamese, many BIPOC side characters, two autistic side characters
✨ Content warnings for: anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, ableism, cancer, infertility, terminal illness and death of a parent, hospice care, autistic burnout, masking, familial verbal/emotional abuse, gaslighting
All quotes come from an advance copy and may not match the final release. Thank you so much to the publisher for providing me with this review copy in exchange for an honest review!
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— PRE-REVIEW THOUGHTS —
april 5,2019: *chanting* We! Want! Quan! We! Want! Quan!
update, june 3, 2021: *chanting* We! Got! Quan! We! Got! Quan! ♥
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September 3, 2021
Do you ever read a book and feel immensely happy that you were put on the world at the same time as its author and therefore you had the privilege of reading it? No? You should read this book then.
September 2, 2021
An intense, emotional and personal story/part memoir
Firstly I'd like to announce that even though I loved this, it wasn't the rom-com I was expecting after the first two books in the series. The synopsis on GR is also incorrect, as the book was rewritten and vastly changed direction.
Told in 1st person unlike The Kiss Quotient and The Bride Test, I would say this was more Anna's book that Quan's. Whilst Quan was amazing and dreamy in this, and had his own chapters, I felt that his journey and demons took a backseat to Anna's one. The Heart Principle was clearly a personal, powerful and sometimes heartbreaking look at adult Autism diagnosis in women, masking, mental health, caregiving for a family member and the stress of living up to both family and society's expectations.
It was not what I expected at all! Some parts about Anna and her family were extremely hard to read. Some parts almost had me tearing my hair out in frustration. Some parts made me cry and want to reach out to hug both Anna and Quan. It was a brave book to write, and it upsets me greatly that Helen Hoang has suffered as Anna did.
But, it was also a raw and inspirational story. A hopeful story. Anna overcame so much and grew as a person. As gutwrenching as some of the book was, other parts focused on love and acceptance.
Romance was present, and I loved it, but it definitely wasn't the central theme. Where we did get romance, Anna and Quan were just too sweet together! The care and vulnerability that they both showed was both cute and sexy. They had great chemistry! And I loved the consent and communication! Quan was such a great guy, so patient, understanding and kind! ❤️
Anna showed great courage with Quan, and their relationship was heartwarming. I just wanted more of Quan's journey since the last books. He had been through some awful things, but it was off page. I wanted more of him.
I cared about both characters immensely, and wanted the best for both of them. They were just such nice people. I desperately wanted Anna to be able to be herself, and not who she thought others wanted her to be!
I devoured this book, feeling all sorts of emotions, but did feel a bit disappointed with the ending. It felt a bit rushed, and glossed over important things in order to get to the happy ending.
However, I'm so glad I read this. The message of being kind to yourself and to others, listening if others ask for help, and asking for help if you need it, are so important. The message of love and hope in times of darkness struck a chord in me. I do recommend this, but just be aware that it feels different from the other books in the series, and that there are multiple trigger warnings, including for bullying, gas lighting, death of a loved one, suicidal thoughts, burn out and a toxic family.
I urge you to read the author's note at the end, which explains much.
❤️❤️❤️❤️
Many thanks to Netgalley UK and Atlantic books for the ARC, in exchange for an honest review!
Firstly I'd like to announce that even though I loved this, it wasn't the rom-com I was expecting after the first two books in the series. The synopsis on GR is also incorrect, as the book was rewritten and vastly changed direction.
Told in 1st person unlike The Kiss Quotient and The Bride Test, I would say this was more Anna's book that Quan's. Whilst Quan was amazing and dreamy in this, and had his own chapters, I felt that his journey and demons took a backseat to Anna's one. The Heart Principle was clearly a personal, powerful and sometimes heartbreaking look at adult Autism diagnosis in women, masking, mental health, caregiving for a family member and the stress of living up to both family and society's expectations.
It was not what I expected at all! Some parts about Anna and her family were extremely hard to read. Some parts almost had me tearing my hair out in frustration. Some parts made me cry and want to reach out to hug both Anna and Quan. It was a brave book to write, and it upsets me greatly that Helen Hoang has suffered as Anna did.
But, it was also a raw and inspirational story. A hopeful story. Anna overcame so much and grew as a person. As gutwrenching as some of the book was, other parts focused on love and acceptance.
Romance was present, and I loved it, but it definitely wasn't the central theme. Where we did get romance, Anna and Quan were just too sweet together! The care and vulnerability that they both showed was both cute and sexy. They had great chemistry! And I loved the consent and communication! Quan was such a great guy, so patient, understanding and kind! ❤️
Anna showed great courage with Quan, and their relationship was heartwarming. I just wanted more of Quan's journey since the last books. He had been through some awful things, but it was off page. I wanted more of him.
I cared about both characters immensely, and wanted the best for both of them. They were just such nice people. I desperately wanted Anna to be able to be herself, and not who she thought others wanted her to be!
I devoured this book, feeling all sorts of emotions, but did feel a bit disappointed with the ending. It felt a bit rushed, and glossed over important things in order to get to the happy ending.
However, I'm so glad I read this. The message of being kind to yourself and to others, listening if others ask for help, and asking for help if you need it, are so important. The message of love and hope in times of darkness struck a chord in me. I do recommend this, but just be aware that it feels different from the other books in the series, and that there are multiple trigger warnings, including for bullying, gas lighting, death of a loved one, suicidal thoughts, burn out and a toxic family.
I urge you to read the author's note at the end, which explains much.
❤️❤️❤️❤️
Many thanks to Netgalley UK and Atlantic books for the ARC, in exchange for an honest review!
February 9, 2024
I’m absolutely in love with this book. It took me by surprise. I completely devoured it and did not expect it to deliver!
I laughed, I gasped and I cried. What else can you ask for.
It’s technically a lighthearted romance that also includes heavier topics such as mental health issues, rejection and grief. But it felt so realistic you know?
I always try to relate to book characters, I think we all do, in different ways. But Anna felt like I was reading about myself sometimes. Her musical burnout, therapy, a never ending battle between self preservation and sacrifice for the family, all of it really hit home.
As an autistic person myself, I love Helen Hoang for representation❤️
The male mc, Quan, was a fun side character in the previous two books. I fell in love with him here! He is too perfect of a boyfriend. The most considerate, gentle and caring character I’ve ever come across. He gave much more than he received and I don’t even know if men like that exist. If they do, is that on amazon?
I loved how it was a dual POV! I really enjoyed being in both of their heads lol. The plot progresses very fast, and there is a lot of steam and spice🔥
I mean, they literally met for a one night stand soooo👀
But keep in mind that sexual frustration and self cautiousness are very important here. The way they communicate with each other and help one another is just👩🏻🍳💋
I laughed, I gasped and I cried. What else can you ask for.
It’s technically a lighthearted romance that also includes heavier topics such as mental health issues, rejection and grief. But it felt so realistic you know?
I always try to relate to book characters, I think we all do, in different ways. But Anna felt like I was reading about myself sometimes. Her musical burnout, therapy, a never ending battle between self preservation and sacrifice for the family, all of it really hit home.
As an autistic person myself, I love Helen Hoang for representation❤️
The male mc, Quan, was a fun side character in the previous two books. I fell in love with him here! He is too perfect of a boyfriend. The most considerate, gentle and caring character I’ve ever come across. He gave much more than he received and I don’t even know if men like that exist. If they do, is that on amazon?
I loved how it was a dual POV! I really enjoyed being in both of their heads lol. The plot progresses very fast, and there is a lot of steam and spice🔥
I mean, they literally met for a one night stand soooo👀
But keep in mind that sexual frustration and self cautiousness are very important here. The way they communicate with each other and help one another is just👩🏻🍳💋
August 7, 2021
P H E N O M E N A L. Goddamn it, I’m so happy this is my 100th book of the year and it’s wrapped up my reading goal for 2021.
There’s so much to unpack in this book and I mean that in the best way possible. There is so much depth to The Heart Principle and it’s by no means a surface-level romance.
There’s so much I see in Anna that I see in myself—a lot of how she feels and reacts around people, the way she wants to please them at the expense of herself, the turmoil she feels when she knows she’s not living up to what people expect from her.
So beautifully crafted and there’s some humor sparsed throughout, but by no means is this a romantic comedy. It’s tender, it’s uplifting, it’s heartfelt.
Helen Hoang can do no wrong in my eyes and I was terrified that Kiss Quotient was going to be a one-hit wonder for me, but she’s proven that she’s a magnificent author despite The Heart Principle being my second book from her (No, I haven’t read the Bride Test… yet).
I’m sooooo in love with this book. I’m in love with the pacing, with the approach, with the romance. THE ROMANCE IS TOP TIER.
It’s nothing like The Kiss Quotient; I personally feel like that one is lighter compared to this story, and I love them equally but I also love them so much individually that they don’t really compare?? Make it make sense, but it does!!
The spice is there, but very mild. I’d give it a 1.5 or a 2 🌶
I’d definitely say this is a book to pick up right when it releases. 100% will not be disappointed.
There’s so much to unpack in this book and I mean that in the best way possible. There is so much depth to The Heart Principle and it’s by no means a surface-level romance.
There’s so much I see in Anna that I see in myself—a lot of how she feels and reacts around people, the way she wants to please them at the expense of herself, the turmoil she feels when she knows she’s not living up to what people expect from her.
So beautifully crafted and there’s some humor sparsed throughout, but by no means is this a romantic comedy. It’s tender, it’s uplifting, it’s heartfelt.
Helen Hoang can do no wrong in my eyes and I was terrified that Kiss Quotient was going to be a one-hit wonder for me, but she’s proven that she’s a magnificent author despite The Heart Principle being my second book from her (No, I haven’t read the Bride Test… yet).
I’m sooooo in love with this book. I’m in love with the pacing, with the approach, with the romance. THE ROMANCE IS TOP TIER.
It’s nothing like The Kiss Quotient; I personally feel like that one is lighter compared to this story, and I love them equally but I also love them so much individually that they don’t really compare?? Make it make sense, but it does!!
The spice is there, but very mild. I’d give it a 1.5 or a 2 🌶
I’d definitely say this is a book to pick up right when it releases. 100% will not be disappointed.
January 31, 2022
i can't remember the last time i physically couldn't put a book down until i finished it but this book had me on a chokehold from chapter one and didn't let me BREATHE until i turned the last page 🚑 🚑 🚑
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