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Tails of the Unexpected: Digressions, a Dog and Project X
“There must be more to owning a dog than both of us running after each other to see what the other one is eating...”
John Donoghue was just another ex-soldier and ex-sailor, leaving the military and entering the wilderness years, divorced and with a young daughter who was growing up far too quickly. Then, he got his first ever dog and his life changed forever.
“A puppy is basically a funny little buddy who always wants to hang out with you.”
Join John and his puppy, Barney, on a joyous romp through military service, bizarrely named places, the highs and lows of life with a new four-legged best friend, fatherhood dilemmas, titanic relationships, the subtle art form of mantelpiecing, memories of simpler times and eventually straight into the arms of the law.
And, in a world where there can only be one Top Dog, discover who takes the coveted title.
Note: Previously released in a shortened form as 'Shakespeare My Butt!'
John Donoghue was just another ex-soldier and ex-sailor, leaving the military and entering the wilderness years, divorced and with a young daughter who was growing up far too quickly. Then, he got his first ever dog and his life changed forever.
“A puppy is basically a funny little buddy who always wants to hang out with you.”
Join John and his puppy, Barney, on a joyous romp through military service, bizarrely named places, the highs and lows of life with a new four-legged best friend, fatherhood dilemmas, titanic relationships, the subtle art form of mantelpiecing, memories of simpler times and eventually straight into the arms of the law.
And, in a world where there can only be one Top Dog, discover who takes the coveted title.
Note: Previously released in a shortened form as 'Shakespeare My Butt!'
298 pages, Kindle Edition
Published July 24, 2021
14 people are currently reading
11 people want to read
About the author
John Donoghue
7 books399 followersJohn Donoghue has served Queen, King, and Country over forty years in the Royal Navy, British Army, and Police.
He has written five books about his experiences in the constabulary, which have included:
Arresting the bride at her wedding.
Chasing a naked lubed up dog thief.
A royal arrest that never made the headlines.
A woman who complained next door's bees were "stealing her pollen".
An undercover nun... and hundreds more bizarre 999 calls and incidents.
These days, he’s swapped handcuffs for heraldry as a guide at a medieval castle.
His latest book, 'Castles, Crime & Cake: A Policeman's Accidental Guide to History' tells the story of that transition, which also involved obscure long forgotten crimes... and cake.
He also has a dog, Monty, who’s yet to break any known laws, but has taken on the role of farting jester perfectly.
Feel free to follow me on twitter @johndonoghue64
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Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
August 11, 2021
You get John Donoghue’s sense of humour as soon as he mentions the little deep sea diver. I challenge anyone reading Tails of the Unexpected not to pause at page 7 to realise you’ve already laughed seven times (possibly more – I was too busy reading to be counting). That’s when you settle down knowing you’re in for some delicious feel-good factor humour. I lost track of the laugh out loud moments before I’d even reached the halfway point. I think I must be totally on the author’s wavelength. The man holding up the financial institute… OMG! I snorted – outside on the balcony (the woman in the static caravan next door said, I’ll have what’s she’s having). I could picture him, blinkity blink! As for the guy’s rationale regarding his toggles… How could you not embarrass yourself? And the baby hedgehog!! Hysterical! Providing you get over the initial WHAT?? shock.
So, to the story. We have the author, a single dad, deciding he’s going to get a dog, a decision that has to be run by his young daughter, who he’s pretty sure will think he’s not up to the task and will dismiss his idea as a childish whim. JD’s going to do this right though, cue much research on suitable breed and purchase of dog psychology books. Small problem, dogs don’t read. Problem solved: John will write Ten Commandments to be shared with anyone who comes into contact with the dog – and anyone in future who wants a handy ‘how to’ train them guide. Commandments, of course, are made to be broken (well, you know). John will call them suggestions instead. Say no more.
Seriously, the author did remind me of some golden rules regarding training and dog speak. I’ve just rediscovered that the simple word ‘No’ works far better than a lengthy explanation when trying to discourage my dogs from arbitrarily barking, sitting on the table, peeing (not on the table), etc.
The plan hatched to mark Bethan’s birthday centring around birthdays and place names is brilliant, more so because I can picture the various expressions of the mischief makers beneath – and dear Barney’s.
I have to say I felt terribly sorry for John when I read that his parents had encouraged him on his chosen path. Then again, I could see their point. Oh, and I’m seriously upset about the Walk Like an Egyptian song. Really?
If you’re looking for a stress-relieving, belly-laugh inducing read, I would highly recommend TAILS of the UNEXPECTED. Just for info, John Donoghue’s other books – Police, Crime & 999, Police, Lies and Alibis and Police, Arrests & Suspects – will make you laugh so hard they really should come with a health warning. Thanks for a brilliant read, John!
So, to the story. We have the author, a single dad, deciding he’s going to get a dog, a decision that has to be run by his young daughter, who he’s pretty sure will think he’s not up to the task and will dismiss his idea as a childish whim. JD’s going to do this right though, cue much research on suitable breed and purchase of dog psychology books. Small problem, dogs don’t read. Problem solved: John will write Ten Commandments to be shared with anyone who comes into contact with the dog – and anyone in future who wants a handy ‘how to’ train them guide. Commandments, of course, are made to be broken (well, you know). John will call them suggestions instead. Say no more.
Seriously, the author did remind me of some golden rules regarding training and dog speak. I’ve just rediscovered that the simple word ‘No’ works far better than a lengthy explanation when trying to discourage my dogs from arbitrarily barking, sitting on the table, peeing (not on the table), etc.
The plan hatched to mark Bethan’s birthday centring around birthdays and place names is brilliant, more so because I can picture the various expressions of the mischief makers beneath – and dear Barney’s.
I have to say I felt terribly sorry for John when I read that his parents had encouraged him on his chosen path. Then again, I could see their point. Oh, and I’m seriously upset about the Walk Like an Egyptian song. Really?
If you’re looking for a stress-relieving, belly-laugh inducing read, I would highly recommend TAILS of the UNEXPECTED. Just for info, John Donoghue’s other books – Police, Crime & 999, Police, Lies and Alibis and Police, Arrests & Suspects – will make you laugh so hard they really should come with a health warning. Thanks for a brilliant read, John!
February 9, 2022
John Donoghue’s memoir about buying a puppy and various other entertaining digressions is an enjoyable read with lots of fun, wit and good humour. I especially liked the parts about Barney, who was a typically adorable Labrador pup, an incorrigible chewer, but endlessly good natured. I laughed till I cried at some of John’s early learning experiences with his little dog (I’ve been there myself, so could relate totally) and only wished there had been still more about him and maybe a little less of the digressions in the overall balance of the book. The cover captured me completely, and it’s an endearing memoir that I’m sure all dog lovers will enjoy, as well as those who like British humour and know something of the country.
December 3, 2021
This is definitely a fun and entertaining book! Occasionally I had to shut the pages as it was making me laugh so much. Some of those digressions, and there's plenty of them, are hilarious. When I think of his camping adventures or the search for odd place names to create a calendar, it makes me giggle again. We learn of the research put into getting a dog and how that had to be run by his daughter Bethan, culminating in them getting the delightful Barney, the black labrador. Again, the way John tells these 'tails' is just so funny. I like the chatty conversational style of writing and I loved the cover. Who could resist that puppy face?
July 27, 2021
Fun read.
How can you resist the cover of this book? I couldn't! At the start, John Donoghue had recently come out of the armed forces, he'd served in both the British Army, and the Royal Navy. He'd just got his first puppy, Barney. And, talking of Barney: I love the look of this, the dog sketches at the start of chapters. Another sweet touch is the little paw prints between scenes.
I enjoyed the read. Witty, some nice light humour. I liked most of his humour-(some I found a bit cringey). A bit of nostalgia too. And I absolutely loved the musical refs!
I have read one of John's other books-'Police, Crime & 999', (enjoyed that too!). I do remember mentioning in my review that he digressed rather a lot in there. And at first, I was finding the same in here. But, as you read on, you find that's the whole point-and it's funny! 'Digressions, A Dog & Project X' is the perfect subtitle, it does what it says on the tin.
A fun read about getting a puppy; touring around the country; with a particular preference for places with weird and unusual names. Making a photo calendar featuring these gems. It’s so true how people who live in/next to these weirdly named places don’t see them as funny until someone points it out!
Some funny moments, amusing anecdotes, I had quite a few chuckles.
How can you resist the cover of this book? I couldn't! At the start, John Donoghue had recently come out of the armed forces, he'd served in both the British Army, and the Royal Navy. He'd just got his first puppy, Barney. And, talking of Barney: I love the look of this, the dog sketches at the start of chapters. Another sweet touch is the little paw prints between scenes.
I enjoyed the read. Witty, some nice light humour. I liked most of his humour-(some I found a bit cringey). A bit of nostalgia too. And I absolutely loved the musical refs!
I have read one of John's other books-'Police, Crime & 999', (enjoyed that too!). I do remember mentioning in my review that he digressed rather a lot in there. And at first, I was finding the same in here. But, as you read on, you find that's the whole point-and it's funny! 'Digressions, A Dog & Project X' is the perfect subtitle, it does what it says on the tin.
A fun read about getting a puppy; touring around the country; with a particular preference for places with weird and unusual names. Making a photo calendar featuring these gems. It’s so true how people who live in/next to these weirdly named places don’t see them as funny until someone points it out!
Some funny moments, amusing anecdotes, I had quite a few chuckles.
February 23, 2023
How to train a dog, and teach him who is boss..... or something....
Amusing - laugh out loud in parts - account of how the author decided to buy and train a dog, interspersed with humorous anecdotes and Project X; visiting many of the weirdly named places in the North East of England (I've visited Wetwang many times) to make a calendar. A lot of the humor will only be appreciated by Brits, I think, but it's a hugely entertaining and enjoyable book.
Amusing - laugh out loud in parts - account of how the author decided to buy and train a dog, interspersed with humorous anecdotes and Project X; visiting many of the weirdly named places in the North East of England (I've visited Wetwang many times) to make a calendar. A lot of the humor will only be appreciated by Brits, I think, but it's a hugely entertaining and enjoyable book.
September 6, 2021
Another hilarious read from John Donoghue relating lots of interesting historical facts and trivia as he travels the country completing Project X whilst striving to raise his daughter...and a puppy. This is a great read and one of those books that you'll miss when you've finished it. Check out Donoghue's other titles!
January 10, 2022
What’s not to love about the book, the front cover with Barney as a puppy is one good starting point.
Full of the joys and laughter of owning a dog and the process of deciding which breed to choose, along with life with a dog and with rambling of John have come to know thrown in-between.
Would throughly recommend this book to read along with his other books.
Full of the joys and laughter of owning a dog and the process of deciding which breed to choose, along with life with a dog and with rambling of John have come to know thrown in-between.
Would throughly recommend this book to read along with his other books.
May 2, 2023
This was a cute read. The writer has a fun tone in his writing. I enjoyed Mr Donoghue’s immediate and extended family members and their “adventures”. I loved Barney and his exploits, the reason I selected this gift book. Project X was hilarious. I did skim through the self described “diversions” into his military service past. Extra fluff not dog centric. I’m glad I picked this book.
May 13, 2025
love this author
Great books full of humour and laugh out loud moments. Such good descriptions of things that it’s easy to imagine the scenarios. I’m glad there are more to read (I’ve read three by this author and review is the same for them all). Great writing.
Great books full of humour and laugh out loud moments. Such good descriptions of things that it’s easy to imagine the scenarios. I’m glad there are more to read (I’ve read three by this author and review is the same for them all). Great writing.
March 10, 2022
Just as good as the first.
December 8, 2023
I am laughing so much, this is such an uplifting book.
Sorry but laughing so much I am having trouble reading! I recommend this book for anyone feeling at all low.
This author should do stand-up comedy for sure, it is a delight in every way.
Sorry but laughing so much I am having trouble reading! I recommend this book for anyone feeling at all low.
This author should do stand-up comedy for sure, it is a delight in every way.
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews