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The Silence Between Us
The Silence Between Us is a raw and original double memoir tracing a mother and daughter as they try to understand and rebuild their relationship after the daughter's suicide attempt.
Because Oceane had just turned eighteen when she tried to end her life, the hospital had to respect her request: to not notify her parents. Years later, when Oceane asked her mother, Cécile, to write something together about this period of their lives, she never expected that Cécile would already have so many pages hidden away, filled with words that she began to write when she eventually learned of Oceane’s suicide attempt.
In The Silence Between Us, Oceane pieces together her story through old diary entries, emails, hospital records and psychiatric reports, interspersed with Cécile’s own intense account of caring for her fiercely independent daughter. Slowly we learn about the intergenerational trauma that forced the chasm between Oceane and Cécile, as well as the campus sexual assault that pushed Oceane over the edge. As Oceane lets Cécile back into her life and they attempt to negotiate both the mental health and legal systems, we also see the fractures start to mend.
At once delicate and unflinching, The Silence Between Us dares to say all the things we’d rather avoid when it comes to mental health, women's voices and family relationships.
Includes foreword by psychiatrist Pat McGorry AO, professor of youth mental health and former Australian of the Year.
Because Oceane had just turned eighteen when she tried to end her life, the hospital had to respect her request: to not notify her parents. Years later, when Oceane asked her mother, Cécile, to write something together about this period of their lives, she never expected that Cécile would already have so many pages hidden away, filled with words that she began to write when she eventually learned of Oceane’s suicide attempt.
In The Silence Between Us, Oceane pieces together her story through old diary entries, emails, hospital records and psychiatric reports, interspersed with Cécile’s own intense account of caring for her fiercely independent daughter. Slowly we learn about the intergenerational trauma that forced the chasm between Oceane and Cécile, as well as the campus sexual assault that pushed Oceane over the edge. As Oceane lets Cécile back into her life and they attempt to negotiate both the mental health and legal systems, we also see the fractures start to mend.
At once delicate and unflinching, The Silence Between Us dares to say all the things we’d rather avoid when it comes to mental health, women's voices and family relationships.
Includes foreword by psychiatrist Pat McGorry AO, professor of youth mental health and former Australian of the Year.
336 pages, Paperback
Published September 1, 2021
12 people are currently reading
174 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 72 reviews
April 7, 2022
If I could give this more stars I would as it was brilliant. Two people, a mother and her daughter writing their daily story over a couple of years after Oceane’s attempted suicide. It is a compelling read and reinforces the importance of writing down your thoughts which in my opinion helps. It must have been so emotional for each of them to read how each were thinking and feeling each day with their own struggles and trying to help each other get through the emotional upheaval.
Both women are strong yet weak at the same time if that makes sense. They write what they cannot seem to say for fear of hurting each other. Sadly this is true for many of us as it’s much easier to just not say how we truly feel. It raised so many long ago feelings I had in my teenage years but we were just told to toughen up. Luckily today’s society can encourage and help more in similar situations and there are more help out there. I don’t remember ever having those choices to be able to voice how you were feeling and I had some very dark times with no one to talk to. We never told friends Dad had left as you were ostracised and being an only child with a very sick mother was tough at age 12. But after many ups and downs we made it. Despite this it’s something that never leaves you and in hindsight I wonder if counselling and therapy could have helped just a little. Children often blame themselves for things as they are too young to understand and that’s where I think it’s so good now they can have a voice. They just need to know where to look! This is an excellent book of reinforcing how important it is to just talk.
Both women are strong yet weak at the same time if that makes sense. They write what they cannot seem to say for fear of hurting each other. Sadly this is true for many of us as it’s much easier to just not say how we truly feel. It raised so many long ago feelings I had in my teenage years but we were just told to toughen up. Luckily today’s society can encourage and help more in similar situations and there are more help out there. I don’t remember ever having those choices to be able to voice how you were feeling and I had some very dark times with no one to talk to. We never told friends Dad had left as you were ostracised and being an only child with a very sick mother was tough at age 12. But after many ups and downs we made it. Despite this it’s something that never leaves you and in hindsight I wonder if counselling and therapy could have helped just a little. Children often blame themselves for things as they are too young to understand and that’s where I think it’s so good now they can have a voice. They just need to know where to look! This is an excellent book of reinforcing how important it is to just talk.
October 11, 2021
I found this book to be the most compelling, honest and courageous book I’ve ever had the pleasure to read. I’m in such awe of how brave and deep the authors delve into their lived experience. I loved the gradual easement into joy and love that you feel between the mother and daughter as the work through things. I cannot rate or recommend this book highly enough. What an important book and I have no doubt it will start conversations that saves lives and changes things for the better at a micro family level as well as a broader societal level.
Thank you for publishing this book. I cannot imagine the courage it took but I am so grateful for it.
Thank you for publishing this book. I cannot imagine the courage it took but I am so grateful for it.
October 2, 2021
This memoir is breathtakingly devastating and joyful. You cannot stop reading once you start - going between the mother and the daughters perspective is gripping and perfectly done. We have so much to learn and improve when it comes to mental illness and our health and legal system. This book reminded me of eggshell skull - but is even gutsier, more raw and beautifully written. This is a must read memoir for everyone - I think it will truly save lives and leave an imprint on all who read it. So grateful this story is being told. we need such stories to teach us how to have these important conversations.
September 12, 2021
Read this incredible memoir in one sitting. Absolutely gripping and life changing in its rawness and honesty about the lived experience of trauma, suicidality and complex family dynamics. Weaving between the mother’s and daughter’s voices is fantastic and the writing is exquisitely beautiful and heart wrenching. There is something about it that brings joy and lightness and hope despite the tough subjects covered. This book dares to go where no other book I’ve read has ever gone in terms of the difficult stuff and it is absolutely eye opening. Can not recommend it highly enough and am so grateful this important book is out there in the world to help us find the words to start conversations about these topics.
September 5, 2021
Brutally raw and honest,this is a phenomenally important book that I just couldn’t put down.
The dance of the mother/daughter narrative, with your unique perspectives, shows perfectly and imperfectly the complexities of mother/daughter relationships, interwoven with a difficult yet genuine love. The resonation of so many of your feelings in my younger self in my relationship with my mother (and her trauma), how it impacts intergenerationally, our individual life stories unique but with so many parallels, intertwining complexity with underlying love; the mental health of a mother with a daughter who, even as a child instinctively wanting to ‘protect’ her mama.
As a fellow midwife we too often hear parallel stories from women, who entrust their life experiences to us as they embark on becoming mothers themselves, hoping to break that intergenerational cycle.
Oceane you speak such truth of how a small vulnerable child’s body ‘was never completely mine’, and of being invisible, not having a voice or being heard; which so often lays the foundation of future abuse/assault through being unable to interpret personal boundaries. Thank you for sharing your experience to the world.
You are brave, you are autonomous, you are an advocate, you are a brilliant writer and I am so grateful you are not silent! I want the world to read this book!
The dance of the mother/daughter narrative, with your unique perspectives, shows perfectly and imperfectly the complexities of mother/daughter relationships, interwoven with a difficult yet genuine love. The resonation of so many of your feelings in my younger self in my relationship with my mother (and her trauma), how it impacts intergenerationally, our individual life stories unique but with so many parallels, intertwining complexity with underlying love; the mental health of a mother with a daughter who, even as a child instinctively wanting to ‘protect’ her mama.
As a fellow midwife we too often hear parallel stories from women, who entrust their life experiences to us as they embark on becoming mothers themselves, hoping to break that intergenerational cycle.
Oceane you speak such truth of how a small vulnerable child’s body ‘was never completely mine’, and of being invisible, not having a voice or being heard; which so often lays the foundation of future abuse/assault through being unable to interpret personal boundaries. Thank you for sharing your experience to the world.
You are brave, you are autonomous, you are an advocate, you are a brilliant writer and I am so grateful you are not silent! I want the world to read this book!
Read
September 7, 2021This book opens the door to conversations around suicide that we need to have. It's still one of the most taboo subjects in our society and I feel that the book is a great contribution, hopefully to anyone who is touched by suicide or an attempted suicide among their friends, family or on the front line of health care work. The courage and honesty of mother and daughter is heart-warming rather than confronting. They don't balk at talking through all the complexities of the struggle back to hope and life...the emotional ups and downs, fears, trauma and and the healing of their relationship. The book has a cracking pace, I never felt I was wallowing. With all the mental struggles of Covid lockdown and isolation, now is the time to read "The Silence Between Us". Buy a copy, read it, pass it on and open a conversation because if we don't talk about it, more people will fall into the silence.
September 7, 2021
This book is real, raw and written with such a vulnerability that it is unlike anything else I have read. It digs deep into the mother daughter relationship and teaches us lessons about how formative our family history is. It inspires us by demonstrating the strength of the author in what could be perceived as her weakest moment.
The version of events told in both the voice of the mother and daughter lends an understanding to the moment in time that changes both of their worlds. The struggle to understand each other is relatable. Two strong yet vulnerable souls finding their way through unchartered territory.
This book is a must read for all health care professionals, for every parent, for every young adult, for us all. I recommend it, absolutely.
The version of events told in both the voice of the mother and daughter lends an understanding to the moment in time that changes both of their worlds. The struggle to understand each other is relatable. Two strong yet vulnerable souls finding their way through unchartered territory.
This book is a must read for all health care professionals, for every parent, for every young adult, for us all. I recommend it, absolutely.
October 5, 2021
Beautifully written, this memoir pulled me in and didn’t let me go. Reading their story and revisiting my own experience of being suicidal has brought great healing to old parts of myself I had turned away for years. My mum and I both read the book and it gave voice and space to explore parts of our relationship deeper. The Silence Between Us is raw, real and unflinchingly vulnerable in all the right ways. ‘Life has won.’
September 19, 2021
I couldn't put it down. I love the way the story unfolded. Jumping from daughters thoughts to mothers thoughts was very clever. The bravery in sharing this story, has helped me feel braver in my own life. Thank you for sharing these personal thoughts and feelings and helping others know they are not alone. Thank you for highlighting the importance of language choices: words spoken and unspoken by health professionals can be so extremely powerful during such vulnerable times. I am so thankful that you are still here to share this story. 💕
September 16, 2021
Read this book in one night as couldn’t put it down. Such an incredibly, brave and insightful memoir. Such important messages around mental health, trauma and vulnerability. This book is so needed at the moment with issues around Covid and mental health. Despite the many moments of tears reading, it is also positive and hopeful and joyful. Oceane is an incredible writer and it is a true gift to us that she and her mum have shared their story.
September 15, 2021
An incredibly brave and eloquent retelling of a deeply personal story that takes you on a journey through trauma and ultimately into hope. Filled with revealing insights into universal relationships but also the state of mental health care, this is an incredibly important story and should be compulsory reading for all.
September 11, 2021
Incredibly gripping and moving memoir. Courageous and raw - also not to read on a school night as stayed up all night reading it. The rhythm between the daughter’s voice and the mothers was magnificent- made the book in my opinion. The writing is beautiful and the message and sense of hope and perspective is absolutely brilliant. A must read memoir.
April 8, 2022
I had the pleasure of listening to Oceane and Cecile talk about their book and journey at the Newcastle Writers Festival before reading the book. After reading the book in one day I am even more in awe of their ability to repair their relationship and bridge the gap between them. More though I am truly inspired at the voice Oceane found in the depth of despair to fight for her human rights and for her life. There are so many reasons to read this book, and so much to open your eyes too in the hope that we can change how things work. Thank you again Oceane and Cecile for sharing your stories.
September 3, 2021
I read this incredible memoir in one sitting. I could not put it down. I've never read such a gutsy, beautiful and incredible story. I loved having the two perspectives of mother and daughter - and it gave me such an insight into mental health, family dynamics and trauma. I wish I'd had this book when I was a teenager or young adult and I think every health professional should read it - as well as every parent or young person. I am so grateful that Oceane Campbell has written this stunning book. We need stories like this to help start conversations, especially with the mental health cost of COVID and the pressures on young people. Cannot rate or recommend this book highly enough.
September 6, 2021
A heartbreaking story of how traumatic events contributed to a downwards spiral of mental health culminating in a suicide attempt, and yet one of the most hopeful books I’ve ever read. The reader walks alongside mother and daughter as their relationship and lives are rebuilt. An incredible insight into the antecedents of mental illness, the health care system and long-standing power imbalances.
October 17, 2021
This book is a very brave expose as my experience is that few who have attempted suicide are willing to discuss their choice due to embarrassment, shame or a desire to leave the past in the past (where it should stay).
The book is very easy to read as it alternates how the experience at the time was for mother and daughter, relying on diary notes and emails each had kept.
The daughter’s story is incredibly sad, in that from a very early age she felt burdened by her mother’s needs following a marriage breakdown, family conflict and financial stress, but stayed quiet to her own needs. This sends a resounding message to all parents about how perceptive children are and how they silently take on burdens unbeknown to their parents. Family counselling had not been of any benefit to the children post marriage breakdown.
“There has been a lot more peace today with Leon gone. It has been hard for me to have him around. He is a reminder of negative memories and difficulties. Not that they all involve him - he was just one cog in the bigger machine of our family, of the fear and frustration, the insecurity and intensity of all those years. Being around any member of the family takes up so much energy for me”
“I can’t give you the information you need to be reassured. It is not that I don’t want to, not that I want you to struggle with this uncertainty and be so fearful………. The entrenched habit between us that I stay silent, strong, quiet in case I become the tipping point that makes you suicide, or leave the family, or completely collapse to a point of no return.
….. It’s hard to forget those mornings when I’d go into the bathroom to find you sobbing in the shower. Or when I’d be about to leave for school but then would stay to console you as you cried and told me you could not handle it anymore, that you’d had enough. In these memories I am five or six years old. I knew from that age what suicide was and worried you would commit suicide. That isn’t right for a five year old. I wasn’t meant to be your support. ….. I knew you had been raped, I knew your family had shamed you and mistreated you and that you had lived in fear. I was too young to know what to do with that information and so I just grew up thinking I had to protect you for anything that might make you more sad or make you acknowledge hat I too was now growing up with shame and fear”
What a burden for anyone, much less a young only daughter, who loved her mother to carry.
Parents of suicidal children feel utterly helpless, as this mother often did. The stress and anxiety of the parent is often equally as high as the child wishing to end their life, but parents must “endure” no matter what, and carry the guilt of how they may have contributed to, or may not have made life better for that children, to prevent the potential death. Mothers in particular bear much of the guilt of a choice which is out of their control.
The mother’s story is equally as sad, having left France in her youth, in the hope she would escape the mental health problems that had beset her family, creating her own family on the other side of the world and the ensuing struggles without extended family support and even her own training as a psychotherapist to deal with a parent’s worst nightmare - knowing your child’s life was so troubled, death seemed the only way to end their pain.
“ And if you are going to kill yourself anyway, I would rather that you did it knowing you are loved and at home, not in the cold anonymity of the high security psychiatric unit.”
For a mother to agree to help her only daughter end her life, if her daughter felt that was the only option, is brave beyond all belief and as a mother of two daughters, impossible for me to comprehend a mother’s selfless ability to offer that.
“I try to accept that it is your life, which means you might choose to kill yourself. But I cannot accept that”
The apparent almost callous disregard of medical and psych staff who I imagine become hardened with repeated exposure to troubled people, is so very sad to read about.
Oceane feared the hospital system where “I feel I was treated like a criminal: unsafe, invisible, an inconvenience to some and undeserving bit of scum to others …. the coldness of some of the doctors and nurses; the sneering remarks; the ever-changing psychiatrists coming in once or twice a day”. This is an indictment on our system. Mental health patients are as broken and pained as every other patient and deserve loving care and empathy in order to recover.
For Oceane (daughter) to have to resort to legal action against academics and management at her University accommodation for the inhuman way she had been treated, following an assault complaint and then as a result of her attempt on her life was beyond courageous, especially given her youth. The legal system is not for the faint hearted.
The book is very worthwhile and I’d recommend to all parents and any person battling with any type of mental health issues, as most people do at some stage in their life. Even if you feel unable to reach out to your immediate family, find a friend of someone to talk to - seek out help, don’t ever feel you are alone or the only one who has ever been in a dark place.
The book is very easy to read as it alternates how the experience at the time was for mother and daughter, relying on diary notes and emails each had kept.
The daughter’s story is incredibly sad, in that from a very early age she felt burdened by her mother’s needs following a marriage breakdown, family conflict and financial stress, but stayed quiet to her own needs. This sends a resounding message to all parents about how perceptive children are and how they silently take on burdens unbeknown to their parents. Family counselling had not been of any benefit to the children post marriage breakdown.
“There has been a lot more peace today with Leon gone. It has been hard for me to have him around. He is a reminder of negative memories and difficulties. Not that they all involve him - he was just one cog in the bigger machine of our family, of the fear and frustration, the insecurity and intensity of all those years. Being around any member of the family takes up so much energy for me”
“I can’t give you the information you need to be reassured. It is not that I don’t want to, not that I want you to struggle with this uncertainty and be so fearful………. The entrenched habit between us that I stay silent, strong, quiet in case I become the tipping point that makes you suicide, or leave the family, or completely collapse to a point of no return.
….. It’s hard to forget those mornings when I’d go into the bathroom to find you sobbing in the shower. Or when I’d be about to leave for school but then would stay to console you as you cried and told me you could not handle it anymore, that you’d had enough. In these memories I am five or six years old. I knew from that age what suicide was and worried you would commit suicide. That isn’t right for a five year old. I wasn’t meant to be your support. ….. I knew you had been raped, I knew your family had shamed you and mistreated you and that you had lived in fear. I was too young to know what to do with that information and so I just grew up thinking I had to protect you for anything that might make you more sad or make you acknowledge hat I too was now growing up with shame and fear”
What a burden for anyone, much less a young only daughter, who loved her mother to carry.
Parents of suicidal children feel utterly helpless, as this mother often did. The stress and anxiety of the parent is often equally as high as the child wishing to end their life, but parents must “endure” no matter what, and carry the guilt of how they may have contributed to, or may not have made life better for that children, to prevent the potential death. Mothers in particular bear much of the guilt of a choice which is out of their control.
The mother’s story is equally as sad, having left France in her youth, in the hope she would escape the mental health problems that had beset her family, creating her own family on the other side of the world and the ensuing struggles without extended family support and even her own training as a psychotherapist to deal with a parent’s worst nightmare - knowing your child’s life was so troubled, death seemed the only way to end their pain.
“ And if you are going to kill yourself anyway, I would rather that you did it knowing you are loved and at home, not in the cold anonymity of the high security psychiatric unit.”
For a mother to agree to help her only daughter end her life, if her daughter felt that was the only option, is brave beyond all belief and as a mother of two daughters, impossible for me to comprehend a mother’s selfless ability to offer that.
“I try to accept that it is your life, which means you might choose to kill yourself. But I cannot accept that”
The apparent almost callous disregard of medical and psych staff who I imagine become hardened with repeated exposure to troubled people, is so very sad to read about.
Oceane feared the hospital system where “I feel I was treated like a criminal: unsafe, invisible, an inconvenience to some and undeserving bit of scum to others …. the coldness of some of the doctors and nurses; the sneering remarks; the ever-changing psychiatrists coming in once or twice a day”. This is an indictment on our system. Mental health patients are as broken and pained as every other patient and deserve loving care and empathy in order to recover.
For Oceane (daughter) to have to resort to legal action against academics and management at her University accommodation for the inhuman way she had been treated, following an assault complaint and then as a result of her attempt on her life was beyond courageous, especially given her youth. The legal system is not for the faint hearted.
The book is very worthwhile and I’d recommend to all parents and any person battling with any type of mental health issues, as most people do at some stage in their life. Even if you feel unable to reach out to your immediate family, find a friend of someone to talk to - seek out help, don’t ever feel you are alone or the only one who has ever been in a dark place.
June 26, 2022
This was a difficult read, as, among other things, it deals with suicide, suicide ideation and self-harm, and it hit close to home, as I remember having similar feelings and ideas when I was a teenager/in my 20s. The prose sucks you in almost immediately and the changing mother-daughter perspectives just adds to the haunting nature of the content. It's told chronologically in the form of diary entries of a mother with significant trauma and depression in her family, and daughter who attempted suicide when she was 18. It talks to some of the ways in which the system failed them, and how things spiralled downwards for Oceane after her stay in hospital. While it was a tough read, these authors narrated their own parts in the audiobook and their emotion comes through in droves.
I can't help but marvel at the concept of the book - a mother who journalled at the time of the incident and a daughter brave enough to recount her ordeal coming together to see each others' perspective of the events that changed their life. I think this is a great book for anyone who doesn't want to feel alone in their own minds, and who forgets where the ones they love most come from, as they break promises and trusts. Please, please look up trigger warnings, as the list is long and will be confronting to those who are not ready for it yet.
I can't help but marvel at the concept of the book - a mother who journalled at the time of the incident and a daughter brave enough to recount her ordeal coming together to see each others' perspective of the events that changed their life. I think this is a great book for anyone who doesn't want to feel alone in their own minds, and who forgets where the ones they love most come from, as they break promises and trusts. Please, please look up trigger warnings, as the list is long and will be confronting to those who are not ready for it yet.
October 13, 2021
This gripping memoir marks such crucial topics, including suicide, the mental health system, language of care providers, trauma, sexual assault and traumatic family dynamics. The voices of the mother and daughter are powerful, brave and raw beyond belief.
As someone with lived experience of some of these things, I’m grateful that there is finally a book that addresses and provides hope for these themes.
I wish this book had been published sooner - but I’m so glad to have come across it and I have no doubt it will be hugely helpful to many. Can not rate it highly enough - the writing is just stunning and the pace and depth is remarkable.
As someone with lived experience of some of these things, I’m grateful that there is finally a book that addresses and provides hope for these themes.
I wish this book had been published sooner - but I’m so glad to have come across it and I have no doubt it will be hugely helpful to many. Can not rate it highly enough - the writing is just stunning and the pace and depth is remarkable.
September 16, 2025
Daughters who had to parent their own mothers -- read this book. It healed a part of me, hurt others, and forced me to reflect on my own luckiness in life.
Also an amazing critique of the mental health system in Australia.
Also an amazing critique of the mental health system in Australia.
September 16, 2025
A devastating reflection of the Australian mental health system, and of the wounds which may never fully heal.
All daughters who parented their mothers should read this book.
- Mars
All daughters who parented their mothers should read this book.
- Mars
March 29, 2022
Phenomenally brilliant highly highly recommend
October 5, 2021
What an incredible book - the writing is wonderful and addictive - I couldn’t put it down. I’m awed at the rawness and honesty of both the mother and daughter’s voices. I feel so humbled that we’ve been given this insight and understanding of their lived experience. This book should be an award winner and I hope it is read far and wide. We have so much to learn and change in how we help mentally unwell people and how our health system operates
October 3, 2021
Such an amazing memoir. Love how honest and deep the insight we get is from the two perspectives. Such a compelling book - couldn’t put it down.
This book has stayed with me so strongly since I read it - I love memoirs, but this book is different. It really gets in your head and changes how you see mental health and what people go through in families. I hope it gets read far and wide - we need stories like this to help both young people and those who love and worry about them
This book has stayed with me so strongly since I read it - I love memoirs, but this book is different. It really gets in your head and changes how you see mental health and what people go through in families. I hope it gets read far and wide - we need stories like this to help both young people and those who love and worry about them
September 22, 2021
This is a compelling and important memoir. The weaving of the two voices, mother and daughter is gripping and beautifully balanced. It provides such a generous and deep insight into their perspectives and is unique. I'm still a bit in shock after reading this over 2 nights - I just can't stop thinking about Oceane's story and how it impacted her mother too. I've gained so much in my own understanding and reflections on my life from reading this story. Can't quite put my thoughts down clearly, but simply want to say thank you - and this is an absolutely must read book.
May 30, 2022
The Silence between Us was a very difficult read for me because it hit very close to home. It is a book based on suicide and life after suicide. It is a tough topic and not one that is really dealt with well today because is is shrouded in stigma. People who attempt suicide are often seen as attention seeking, selfish or broken and this is often very far from the actual truth. This story hits close to home for me because I have suffered with suicidal idealation and have attempted suicide. I have also had friends who have attmepted and committed suicide and had a mother who attempted suicide and almost died the second time. So suicide is a very real and very tangible reality in my life and something that comes up regularly, but it's for this reason that I think this book resonated with me so much.
Oceane attempts suicide after she is sexually assaulted and raped by a classmate at university. Her mother Cecile is a therapist and has a long line of depression and suicidality in her family and is shocked by her daughters decision to take her own life. This book is both their stories, told separately but intertwined as one as the events played out. This is an entirely unique book in the sense that we are getting both sides of a story when we so often only hear one. We get to read what it was like for Oceane and we read what it was like for Cecile and while it's one story it is told so differently and viewed so differently from each perspective.
At its core, this story didn't even end up being about suicide but about life and how one moves on and gets on with life after an experience such as this. I feel like in my own personal experience I was Cecile and my mother was Oceane. This book made me sad, it made me cry and it made me angry, but it also helped heal wounds that I had that were still open and I didn't even know they were. I highly recommend this book, and I implore everyone to help bust down this stigma around depression and suicide.
Oceane attempts suicide after she is sexually assaulted and raped by a classmate at university. Her mother Cecile is a therapist and has a long line of depression and suicidality in her family and is shocked by her daughters decision to take her own life. This book is both their stories, told separately but intertwined as one as the events played out. This is an entirely unique book in the sense that we are getting both sides of a story when we so often only hear one. We get to read what it was like for Oceane and we read what it was like for Cecile and while it's one story it is told so differently and viewed so differently from each perspective.
At its core, this story didn't even end up being about suicide but about life and how one moves on and gets on with life after an experience such as this. I feel like in my own personal experience I was Cecile and my mother was Oceane. This book made me sad, it made me cry and it made me angry, but it also helped heal wounds that I had that were still open and I didn't even know they were. I highly recommend this book, and I implore everyone to help bust down this stigma around depression and suicide.
September 11, 2021
Massive wow from me for this memoir. Absolutely could not put it down - It is brave and raw and intense - but it’s also heartwarming and full of hope and love.
Such a great insight Into the chaos and trauma some people live and also the Human-ness of our relationships and how these patterns impact us.
So grateful this story is out there and should be read by everyone.
Such a great insight Into the chaos and trauma some people live and also the Human-ness of our relationships and how these patterns impact us.
So grateful this story is out there and should be read by everyone.
September 1, 2021
Have never read such an amazingly honest and raw biography. Read it through the night as couldn’t put it down. Loved having the two voices of mother and daughter - just incredible how you get to fully experience the two sides. The writing is beautiful and despite the emotional parts there is a lightness and positivity that makes it so powerful. Found myself crying and gasping and laughing and cheering these two Incredible women by the end.
December 31, 2021
An unusual and intimate journey through surviving suicide, which unfolds via the diaries of a mother and daughter. Content warning: there are disturbing descriptions of suicide and sexual assault. This is not a book to tackle when you are feeling vulnerable. However, I did find it original, moving, poetic, and ultimately hopeful. I'm grateful to Hardie Grant publishers for publishing this story and contributing to the evolving dialogue about community mental health and the services that exist to support it.
July 8, 2023
I read this book as I went on a trip that had one of the authors on it and while I didn’t know what to expect this book was more than I ever could of imagined. It is impactful, insightful, incredibly raw and so worth reading.
October 7, 2021
On one hand: an important story that will probably give some people solace and hope. Maybe.
On the other: weird book. Feels mainly like mum Cecile’s diary with some entries from daughter Oceane, from the time of her suicide attempt and the year after it. Cecile is French and a psychotherapist who has seemingly no idea of the realities of the hospital system or signs of suicidal ideation (wouldn’t want her to be my therapist), her language is flowery and passionate at all times, lots of talk of ~mother’s intuition~ and has some pretty bonkers views including offering to help Oceane if she gets to the point of wanting to attempt suicide again so she doesn’t have to die alone. Really takes the whole “I’d rather you drink in the house where it’s safe” style of parenting to an entirely new level.
Oceane goes into detail around her suicide attempt which is so explicit it could be a how-to guide, I genuinely wonder how this was even published - there is not so much as a helpline included at the beginning or end which feels frankly irresponsible. Something about her voice feels a bit off, I wonder if Cecile didn’t actually write most of her parts too.
There’s not much in the way of integrated case notes or other documents as described in the blurb. This is a very personal account of one person’s experience with the mental health care system. Not a lot of examination of the systemic issues or offering of any solutions, rather blaming individuals who for the most part are fulfilling their duty of care. It’s obvious neither Cecile or Oceane are writers either.
On the other: weird book. Feels mainly like mum Cecile’s diary with some entries from daughter Oceane, from the time of her suicide attempt and the year after it. Cecile is French and a psychotherapist who has seemingly no idea of the realities of the hospital system or signs of suicidal ideation (wouldn’t want her to be my therapist), her language is flowery and passionate at all times, lots of talk of ~mother’s intuition~ and has some pretty bonkers views including offering to help Oceane if she gets to the point of wanting to attempt suicide again so she doesn’t have to die alone. Really takes the whole “I’d rather you drink in the house where it’s safe” style of parenting to an entirely new level.
Oceane goes into detail around her suicide attempt which is so explicit it could be a how-to guide, I genuinely wonder how this was even published - there is not so much as a helpline included at the beginning or end which feels frankly irresponsible. Something about her voice feels a bit off, I wonder if Cecile didn’t actually write most of her parts too.
There’s not much in the way of integrated case notes or other documents as described in the blurb. This is a very personal account of one person’s experience with the mental health care system. Not a lot of examination of the systemic issues or offering of any solutions, rather blaming individuals who for the most part are fulfilling their duty of care. It’s obvious neither Cecile or Oceane are writers either.
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