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Why Cats Are Assholes
Most people love cats. They’re fluffy, playful, and can be a joy to have as a companion. However, they can also be huge assholes. So what can you do? How do you deal with a roommate who always seems to be plotting to kill you?
While we all love sharing adorable photos of kittens, these frisky felines are known more for marching to the beat of their own drum than abiding by the rules. From running around your home at two in the morning, knocking everything off your shelves, or taking up most of your bed, these furry critters can be immensely selfish and disrespectful to those who give them endless love and affection.
Why Cats Are Assholes is up for such a challenge. From studying their history all the way back to ancient Egypt, comedian Liz Miele—the daughter of veterinarians—digests the cat psyche to try and understand why they do the things they do, and how we, as their loyal servants, can handle domestic bliss with them around.
With the help of her cat Pasta, Miele breaks down the common behaviors of cats in an attempt to try and better understand their plan of attack (if there is one), as well as what we can do to better prepare ourselves.
Whether you have one, two, or twelve fur babies, Why Cats Are Assholes is the ultimate guide to better understanding your pet’s behavior while taking back your home from these domesticated terrorists.
While we all love sharing adorable photos of kittens, these frisky felines are known more for marching to the beat of their own drum than abiding by the rules. From running around your home at two in the morning, knocking everything off your shelves, or taking up most of your bed, these furry critters can be immensely selfish and disrespectful to those who give them endless love and affection.
Why Cats Are Assholes is up for such a challenge. From studying their history all the way back to ancient Egypt, comedian Liz Miele—the daughter of veterinarians—digests the cat psyche to try and understand why they do the things they do, and how we, as their loyal servants, can handle domestic bliss with them around.
With the help of her cat Pasta, Miele breaks down the common behaviors of cats in an attempt to try and better understand their plan of attack (if there is one), as well as what we can do to better prepare ourselves.
Whether you have one, two, or twelve fur babies, Why Cats Are Assholes is the ultimate guide to better understanding your pet’s behavior while taking back your home from these domesticated terrorists.
175 pages, Kindle Edition
Published March 30, 2021
218 people are currently reading
404 people want to read
About the author
Liz Miele
2 books5 followersLiz Miele, originally from New Jersey, started doing stand-up at 16 in New York City. At 18 she was profiled in The New Yorker Magazine, at 22 she appeared on Comedy Central’s “Live at Gotham.” She’s also appeared on Comedy Central’s “This Week at the Comedy Cellar,” NPR’s “Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me,” Hulu’s “Coming To The Stage,” AXS TV’s “Gotham Comedy Live,” and was profiled in the March 2015 issue of Runner’s World.
She has several viral videos on Youtube, Instagram and Tiktok including jokes “Feminist Sex Positions,” “F*ck Finland,” and “London Cops Are Better Than American Cops” She regularly tours internationally and has three albums out on spotify and itunes plus her first special “Self Help Me” is free on youtube with over 1 million views. She just released her newest special, The Ghost Of Academic Future, also on youtube. Her first book, “Why Cats Are Assholes” was released in March of 2021 is now available everywhere.
She wrote and produced season one of her animated web series “Damaged,” voiced by great comics including, Maz Jobrani, Hari Kondabolu, Ted Alexandro, Jermaine Fowler, Dean Edwards, DC Benny, Joe Machi and so many more. She also co-produced and co-starred in 40 episodes of a web series called “Apt C3” with fellow comic, Carmen Lynch and fashion photographer, Chris Vongsawat.
She has several viral videos on Youtube, Instagram and Tiktok including jokes “Feminist Sex Positions,” “F*ck Finland,” and “London Cops Are Better Than American Cops” She regularly tours internationally and has three albums out on spotify and itunes plus her first special “Self Help Me” is free on youtube with over 1 million views. She just released her newest special, The Ghost Of Academic Future, also on youtube. Her first book, “Why Cats Are Assholes” was released in March of 2021 is now available everywhere.
She wrote and produced season one of her animated web series “Damaged,” voiced by great comics including, Maz Jobrani, Hari Kondabolu, Ted Alexandro, Jermaine Fowler, Dean Edwards, DC Benny, Joe Machi and so many more. She also co-produced and co-starred in 40 episodes of a web series called “Apt C3” with fellow comic, Carmen Lynch and fashion photographer, Chris Vongsawat.
Ratings & Reviews
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 82 reviews
January 6, 2022
I don't know about yours, but mine definitely are. However, in their defense, they think they are Gods and need to be worshiped at all times. Liz Miele and her cat, Pasta, breakdown cat ownership. She answers fans questions and gives us the scoop on why cats are...well, cats. I loved this book. I laughed the whole way through. Highly recommend!
January 7, 2022
Here comes my first dud book of the year. 😕
Though I do like cats, I am more of a dog lover. But when you see a title and cover page such as this, who can resist the urge to pick the book up?
Unfortunately, the cover turned out to be the only good part of this book. The problem is, the cover gives the impression that this book is more graphical than text intensive. There are a couple of funny illustrations but most of the content is written in huge chunky paragraphs. There are some funny Q&As in an attempt to break the monotony. There are a few interesting anecdotes about cats in society and culture and even her own experiences with cats.
The author is quite evidently a cat lover and even has a cat named Pasta. In addition, the author is a stand-up comedian and her parents are vets. She puts all these factors to use in penning this book. But does she do a good job of it? Not at all. This is meant to be a funny book poking fun at cats and cat owners. But I barely cracked a smile throughout my read. The content is not even borderline funny. It felt like a stand-up trying too hard to crack jokes and then laughing at the jokes herself as no one else did. There is also a constant reference to her Instagram handle, as in, she asks a question and then provides her sm handles to tag her in the answers. The whole thing felt like an attempt to garner more followers on Insta than satisfy the readers of her book.
I tried my best to concentrate on the content but the only adjective that kept popping in my mind time and again was ‘BORING!’ In the second half, I just hopped and skipped my way to the ending.
I would have DNFed this book had it not been so early in a new year and had it not been a buddy read. Nowrin, let’s hope our next attempt works better. We both deserve better books. 💕
Would I recommend it to cat lovers? No.
Would I recommend it to cat haters? No.
Would I recommend it to those who are looking for a funny book? No.
Would I recommend it at all to anyone? No.
Save yourselves and read Sarah Anderson’s Herding Cats instead.
***********************
Join me on the Facebook group, Readers Forever! , for more reviews, book-related discussions and fun.
Though I do like cats, I am more of a dog lover. But when you see a title and cover page such as this, who can resist the urge to pick the book up?
Unfortunately, the cover turned out to be the only good part of this book. The problem is, the cover gives the impression that this book is more graphical than text intensive. There are a couple of funny illustrations but most of the content is written in huge chunky paragraphs. There are some funny Q&As in an attempt to break the monotony. There are a few interesting anecdotes about cats in society and culture and even her own experiences with cats.
The author is quite evidently a cat lover and even has a cat named Pasta. In addition, the author is a stand-up comedian and her parents are vets. She puts all these factors to use in penning this book. But does she do a good job of it? Not at all. This is meant to be a funny book poking fun at cats and cat owners. But I barely cracked a smile throughout my read. The content is not even borderline funny. It felt like a stand-up trying too hard to crack jokes and then laughing at the jokes herself as no one else did. There is also a constant reference to her Instagram handle, as in, she asks a question and then provides her sm handles to tag her in the answers. The whole thing felt like an attempt to garner more followers on Insta than satisfy the readers of her book.
I tried my best to concentrate on the content but the only adjective that kept popping in my mind time and again was ‘BORING!’ In the second half, I just hopped and skipped my way to the ending.
I would have DNFed this book had it not been so early in a new year and had it not been a buddy read. Nowrin, let’s hope our next attempt works better. We both deserve better books. 💕
Would I recommend it to cat lovers? No.
Would I recommend it to cat haters? No.
Would I recommend it to those who are looking for a funny book? No.
Would I recommend it at all to anyone? No.
Save yourselves and read Sarah Anderson’s Herding Cats instead.
***********************
Join me on the Facebook group, Readers Forever! , for more reviews, book-related discussions and fun.
May 9, 2022
As a cat lover with no cat unfortunately I enjoyed this great books about why cat are assholes. Absolutely recommend
June 26, 2021
لسه مخلصة الكتاب دا
هو لواحدة ستاند اب كوميديان اسمها Liz Miele
الكتاب عن القطط .. عن واحدة كوميديانة زي ليز كل شغلها ونكاتها وكتبها عن القطط، حتى بابا وماما دكاترة بيطريين وماما متخصصة في القطط ..
البنت من صغرها بتتحاوط بالحيوانات، بتحب القطط وبتحكي من خلال الكتاب عن قطتها، الستاند اب أصلا عن قطتها .. "باستا".
المهم ليز بتاخدنا لمنطقة كدا كلنا بنروح لها بس مش بناخد بالنا منها، نوصل لفين لو حبينا حاجة بجد؟ ليز حبت القطط، حتى أنها كتبت واشتغلت شغل كله عنها، والكتاب بقا بيشرح ليه القطط مجانين .. أو غير مفهومين؟ ليه بعد ما تسيبك تدلعها فجأة تعضك؟ ليه بيوقعوا الحاجة رغم أنك بتحذرهم وتقولهم لأ! ليه القطط ممكن تتجاهلك؟ ليه بتحشر نفسها في صندوق ربع حجمها مع إنها عندها سرير ملوكي؟ وهكذا ..
الفكرة أن الى بيحب حاجة أو حد بيراقبه، بيعرف بيحب ايه وامتى؟ بياكل ايه وبيتضايق امتى وهكذا ..
بعد ما ليز بتفهمنا في فصول كتير .. بتخصص جزء صغير لأسئلة اتبعتت لها وبتجاوب عليها.
الكتاب صغير جدا .. جميل وخفيف ولغته من أسهل ما يكون
ممتع وممكن نفصل بيه بين كتابين أو لو بنحب القطط وحابين نفهم هل هم كائنات معقدة ولا بس أحنا مش فاهينهم؟!
هتلاقوه على تليجرام
هو لواحدة ستاند اب كوميديان اسمها Liz Miele
الكتاب عن القطط .. عن واحدة كوميديانة زي ليز كل شغلها ونكاتها وكتبها عن القطط، حتى بابا وماما دكاترة بيطريين وماما متخصصة في القطط ..
البنت من صغرها بتتحاوط بالحيوانات، بتحب القطط وبتحكي من خلال الكتاب عن قطتها، الستاند اب أصلا عن قطتها .. "باستا".
المهم ليز بتاخدنا لمنطقة كدا كلنا بنروح لها بس مش بناخد بالنا منها، نوصل لفين لو حبينا حاجة بجد؟ ليز حبت القطط، حتى أنها كتبت واشتغلت شغل كله عنها، والكتاب بقا بيشرح ليه القطط مجانين .. أو غير مفهومين؟ ليه بعد ما تسيبك تدلعها فجأة تعضك؟ ليه بيوقعوا الحاجة رغم أنك بتحذرهم وتقولهم لأ! ليه القطط ممكن تتجاهلك؟ ليه بتحشر نفسها في صندوق ربع حجمها مع إنها عندها سرير ملوكي؟ وهكذا ..
الفكرة أن الى بيحب حاجة أو حد بيراقبه، بيعرف بيحب ايه وامتى؟ بياكل ايه وبيتضايق امتى وهكذا ..
بعد ما ليز بتفهمنا في فصول كتير .. بتخصص جزء صغير لأسئلة اتبعتت لها وبتجاوب عليها.
الكتاب صغير جدا .. جميل وخفيف ولغته من أسهل ما يكون
ممتع وممكن نفصل بيه بين كتابين أو لو بنحب القطط وحابين نفهم هل هم كائنات معقدة ولا بس أحنا مش فاهينهم؟!
هتلاقوه على تليجرام
January 6, 2022
I came for the humor, but had to settle for the information instead. After reading other reviews, it seems I wasn't the only one that didn't vibe with this one. I did find the cat info to be highly useful for new cat owners like myself. Both of the author's parents are veterinarians, so makes it a bit more believeable. My main issue was that it was difficult at times to differentiate between actual facts and failed attempts at humor. The best part of the book was, weirdly, the FAQ sections at the end.
August 6, 2021
my dad's obituary was funnier
August 6, 2021
Anyone who thinks cats are arseholes clearly just don’t understand boundaries in their personal life. This person has some serious issues especially as they engraved in arguments with minors and young adults on the internet. Clearly unprofessional behaviour and the tone of this book perfectly captures that. This book is as unfunny as their comedy routines. Shoddy writing and cover design
August 6, 2021
i am a big fan of literature, i read a lot, sometimes even books that are hard to finish due to the language being hard, but this book is an exception…the language and the style of the author is quite simple but the plot(?) and content of the book is boring, would not recommend my friends this, plus the name of the book? i understand that this is an oxymoron, but still - sucks
May 30, 2021
Did not finish
dnf-and-or-wnr
May 12, 2022Where was the funny? This was a bunch of repeat info about cats (most historians or enthusiasts would already know) that was terribly condensed, boiled down, mixed with curse words and a few interjections.
Cats can be asses, sure… but can’t any animal if they want ? Or person for that matter?
Ppl in glass houses and all that, you know.
Why am I being told info about ancient Egypt and a smothering baby myth in a comedy book? Yes. I always find such things hilarious.
*buzzer sound*
And, you are taken on a wild river raft ride of a kind of dizzying tour of this person’s mixed and varied beliefs! That’s fine but … what? I couldn’t keep up with how it was just kind of thrown at the reader. I didn’t feel like someone was trying to make me laugh. I felt like someone was trying to convince me of something.
What DID amuse me were the illustrations. I liked them. I liked the cover. It is what reeled me in. It is what held the promise of a laugh or a smile. It said, you know what this is about! So, illustrations are great. The book, just needs less info dump and probably more real life instances of her cat actually being an ass or being funny.
DNF and no rating for now. Almost finished it.
Cats can be asses, sure… but can’t any animal if they want ? Or person for that matter?
Ppl in glass houses and all that, you know.
Why am I being told info about ancient Egypt and a smothering baby myth in a comedy book? Yes. I always find such things hilarious.
*buzzer sound*
And, you are taken on a wild river raft ride of a kind of dizzying tour of this person’s mixed and varied beliefs! That’s fine but … what? I couldn’t keep up with how it was just kind of thrown at the reader. I didn’t feel like someone was trying to make me laugh. I felt like someone was trying to convince me of something.
What DID amuse me were the illustrations. I liked them. I liked the cover. It is what reeled me in. It is what held the promise of a laugh or a smile. It said, you know what this is about! So, illustrations are great. The book, just needs less info dump and probably more real life instances of her cat actually being an ass or being funny.
DNF and no rating for now. Almost finished it.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 6, 2021
this was a real page turner! by that I mean you read the first page and then turn all the pages in order to close the book.
August 6, 2021
This was hard to get through, not very funny or inventive.
August 6, 2021
Poorly written by a clueless and illiterate "comedian"
August 6, 2021
i guess they’re just letting anyone call themselves a comedian these days? this book is an absolute WASTE of money. not once did i laugh, chuckle, smile; not even a smirk. whoever green lit this to be published should be fired. absolute disgrace to the comedic genre..
January 7, 2022
Buddy reads with Roshreview💜
But sorry Rosh,i made a bad choice by starting this book...
But sorry Rosh,i made a bad choice by starting this book...
December 10, 2021
This was nice. If you like cats, this can be a fun read to pass the time.
July 12, 2021
The book shows how the title is wrong! I enjoyed the quick read, learned a couple of things but really found behaviours have had and my cats (then and now) have had too. My conclusion is I have the best cats ever right now, Pertwee and Kai are just two small (7 and 12 pounds) magnets who if they are not sleeping are on my lap or in the bathroom with me (and then are not happy when I do the same thing to them… they do have such tiny laps!).
August 7, 2021
A huge red flag is when they say they hate cats. I think the title says enough. This book are so poorly written. I’ve not once laughed or even let out a giggle, how did they even publish this? I am a cat owner myself and this is clearly not enjoyable.
September 1, 2025
3.5*
Amusing, and occasionally informative. This certainly brought back memories of when our childhood cats were, indeed, assh*les, but the grammatical and proof-reading errors (not the Americanisms) were really distracting. Overall, a better quality 'novelty' comedy book that could have been better executed, but worth a read if you're a fan of the domesticated feline.
Amusing, and occasionally informative. This certainly brought back memories of when our childhood cats were, indeed, assh*les, but the grammatical and proof-reading errors (not the Americanisms) were really distracting. Overall, a better quality 'novelty' comedy book that could have been better executed, but worth a read if you're a fan of the domesticated feline.
September 4, 2021
I got this book looking for a light read that would make me laugh and this was exactly what I needed. If you have ever lived with a cat this book will make you laugh out loud and then want to find a cat to snuggle. And if you haven’t lived with a cat- you will want to after reading this. Liz Miele documents all the things that make cats so loveable even when they are being, as the title says, assholes.
I don’t get the one star reviews- clearly a lot of those are bots or trolls, or people who hate cats, comedy, or women. Or all of the above. This book is an absolute delight. Read it, adopt a cat, live a better life. And then watch Liz’s special on YouTube!
I don’t get the one star reviews- clearly a lot of those are bots or trolls, or people who hate cats, comedy, or women. Or all of the above. This book is an absolute delight. Read it, adopt a cat, live a better life. And then watch Liz’s special on YouTube!
June 4, 2021
I have been following Liz's career for quite a while now- less time then I have been a cat mom- and I was so psyched to read this book! Pasta, my god, what a muse. The book really picked up on a lot of "oh wait, none cat people don't understand why cats are the literal worst while also being literal gods?" thoughts that I have had over the years. And I loved the bits from Liz's act that she added to the chapters.
Highly recommended for cat parents and small minded individuals alike.
"If there's a ghost, you have to tell me!" I have yelled this at my cat so many times....
Highly recommended for cat parents and small minded individuals alike.
"If there's a ghost, you have to tell me!" I have yelled this at my cat so many times....
August 6, 2021
not funny. a waste of time. i’d rather sit and read the obituaries for hours instead of another one of her books. also needs to work on her titles. cats are not a**holes, you just have a weird personality even though it was just supposed to be some sort of joke i guess. which in that case is weak, weird humor. also my cat read it and ripped it to shreds. not a fan
August 6, 2021
Bydd eich cyflenwad dŵr tref yn cael ei wenwyno. Bydd eich cnydau'n gwywo. Bydd locustiaid yn heidio'ch cartref. Peidiwch ag edrych i'r haul i ddod â chysur i chi yn eich amseroedd tywyll i ddod, oherwydd bydd yn taflu goleuni ar eich drwg a byddwch yn mygu o dan ei fawd tanbaid.
November 7, 2022
I am interviewing Liz today and I’m so excited! I loved this book. It’s very funny, and Liz writes very well in her stand up voice. I also learned a lot about cats, which I arrogantly thought wasn’t possible. I, Robin (8), Samantha (14), and Simon (RIP) all give this five stars which is 20 stars total.
February 1, 2022
3.5 stars. My cats are assholes, but I love them :)
November 12, 2023
I wanted a lighthearted funny book in between a few heavier reads and this one fit that description. I laughed out loud at times and totally related as I have at least one asshole cat! 😂
July 22, 2021
The chapter on naming cats made me LOL.
April 7, 2021
Beyond Liz Miele being one of the funniest comics, she's also a cat owner/lover. She takes her wit into the realm of cats to truly explain why they behave the way they do. This book is a must for anyone who has ever owned a cat, enjoys cat videos, or even hates cats. Cats don't need any help being more hilarious but the anecdotes, great art, & answered questions will provide laughter while coping with the fact these tiny beasts are truly our masters. Get yours MEOW!
May 5, 2021
Really liked this book. It seemed a little slow at the start and I’m not that big fan of cats but I enjoyed it more and more as I read. It gave me a new appreciation for the elusive creature that I share a house with me.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 82 reviews