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Rabbit in the Moon
Blame it on Hawaii’s rainbows, sparkling beaches, fruity cocktails, and sensuous breezes. For Heather Diamond, there for a summer course on China, a sea change began when romance bloomed with Fred, an ethnomusicologist from Hong Kong.
One night under a full moon, Fred tells Heather the story of Chang’e, the moon goddess. He points out how the shadows form a rabbit pounding an elixir of immortality, but all Heather sees in the moon is a man’s face.
Returning to her teaching job in Texas, Heather wonders if the whirlwind affair was a moment of madness. She is, after all, forty-five years old, married, a mother and grandmother.
Rabbit in the Moon follows Heather and Fred’s relationship as well as Heather’s challenges with multiple mid-life reinventions, such as moving to Hawaii, entering a Ph.D. program, and living in a dorm with students half her age.
When Fred goes on sabbatical, Heather finds herself on the Hong Kong island of Cheung Chau with his large, boisterous family. For an independent, reserved American, adjusting to his extended family isn’t easy. She wants to fit in, but is culture shocked by the lack of privacy, the language barrier, and the Chinese aesthetic of renao (“hot & noisy”).
Life on Cheung Chau is overwhelming but also wondrous. Heather chronicles family celebrations, ancestor rituals, and a rich cycle of festivals like the Hungry Ghosts Festival, Chinese New Year, and the Bun Festival. Her descriptions of daily life and traditions are exquisite, seamlessly combining the insights of an ethnographer with the fascination of a curious newcomer who gradually transitions topart of the family.
Ultimately, Heather’s experiences abroad make her realize what she has overlooked with her own family back in the United States, and she sets about making amends.
Moving between Hawaii, Hong Kong, and the continental US, Rabbit in the Moon is an honest, finely crafted meditation on intercultural marriage, the importance of family, and finding the courage to follow your dreams.
One night under a full moon, Fred tells Heather the story of Chang’e, the moon goddess. He points out how the shadows form a rabbit pounding an elixir of immortality, but all Heather sees in the moon is a man’s face.
Returning to her teaching job in Texas, Heather wonders if the whirlwind affair was a moment of madness. She is, after all, forty-five years old, married, a mother and grandmother.
Rabbit in the Moon follows Heather and Fred’s relationship as well as Heather’s challenges with multiple mid-life reinventions, such as moving to Hawaii, entering a Ph.D. program, and living in a dorm with students half her age.
When Fred goes on sabbatical, Heather finds herself on the Hong Kong island of Cheung Chau with his large, boisterous family. For an independent, reserved American, adjusting to his extended family isn’t easy. She wants to fit in, but is culture shocked by the lack of privacy, the language barrier, and the Chinese aesthetic of renao (“hot & noisy”).
Life on Cheung Chau is overwhelming but also wondrous. Heather chronicles family celebrations, ancestor rituals, and a rich cycle of festivals like the Hungry Ghosts Festival, Chinese New Year, and the Bun Festival. Her descriptions of daily life and traditions are exquisite, seamlessly combining the insights of an ethnographer with the fascination of a curious newcomer who gradually transitions topart of the family.
Ultimately, Heather’s experiences abroad make her realize what she has overlooked with her own family back in the United States, and she sets about making amends.
Moving between Hawaii, Hong Kong, and the continental US, Rabbit in the Moon is an honest, finely crafted meditation on intercultural marriage, the importance of family, and finding the courage to follow your dreams.
- GenresMemoirAsian Literature
302 pages, Paperback
Published May 11, 2021
6 people are currently reading
1251 people want to read
About the author
Heather A. Diamond
3 books44 followersAuthor of Rabbit in the Moon: A Memoir—Spring 2021, Camphor Press.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 38 reviews
March 24, 2021
There was so much about Heather Diamond 's memoir that resonated with me, especially the propensity to reinvent oneself many times. Her writing is gorgeous, and the story kept me wanting to turn the page.
I loved the way her introduction to her new husband's Hong Kong family makes it clear how much family means to them. "Family values" is not a slogan but an action of taking part in each other's lives. An introverted white woman born in the U.S., she is both repelled by and drawn into a world so different from her own. This leads to her examination of the emotional and physical distance between her and her own family.
I hope Diamond is writing another memoir because it's clear she's lived a lot of life hinted at in this one, from her hippie teens to her young motherhood to her other travels. It's a good sign when you end a book and want to spend more time with the author.
I loved the way her introduction to her new husband's Hong Kong family makes it clear how much family means to them. "Family values" is not a slogan but an action of taking part in each other's lives. An introverted white woman born in the U.S., she is both repelled by and drawn into a world so different from her own. This leads to her examination of the emotional and physical distance between her and her own family.
I hope Diamond is writing another memoir because it's clear she's lived a lot of life hinted at in this one, from her hippie teens to her young motherhood to her other travels. It's a good sign when you end a book and want to spend more time with the author.
March 29, 2021
This was perhaps not the best book to read while stuck in my house during a pandemic battling spring fever. Set in Hawaii and various locations in China, with elaborate descriptions of meeting new people, cultural feet in mouths, and new food, all I wanted to do after finishing a chapter was jet off to that place, or anywhere for that matter. But now that I've finished, what stays with me is the depth and nuance that Diamond gives our globalized world on both a personal level (being a white America married to a Chinese man) and a macro level (the way cultures interact and the actions of Americans when they're overseas.)
It will interest people who read memoir especially about culturally mixed marriages and anyone who wants to see more deeply into another culture.
It will interest people who read memoir especially about culturally mixed marriages and anyone who wants to see more deeply into another culture.
March 29, 2021
Rabbit in the Moon is a powerful meditation on the forces that shape our lives. With her extraordinary writing, Diamond tells the fascinating story of her search for love that leads her into a multicultural relationship, to the stunning landscape of Asia, where she explores cultures, traditions, and the meaning of belonging, yearning, and understanding. A lovely, brilliant, and splendid book!
April 2, 2021
The best memoirs combine truth, insight, and—of course—an interesting life. The Rabbit in the Moon has all three.
The story focuses on the author in her mid-forties. Restless and perhaps hoping to reinvent herself, she takes a summer course at the East-West Center in Hawaii. There she meets Fred, an ethnomusicologist from Hong Kong. Their differences are stark. He’s Chinese; she’s a white American of Jewish-Russian heritage; she’s sensitive and hesitant; he’s confident, the life of the party. She returns to Texas, but their Hawaiian affair leads to complications, frequent letter writing, tears, and eventually two divorces.
It's a dramatic story. But the heart of Heather’s memoir is her relationship with Fred and with his large, noisy, old-fashioned Cantonese family. With Heather’s academic training in multiculturalism and folklore, she notices, documents, and questions the details of the culture on Cheung Chau, the small island off the shore of Hong Kong where Fred’s parents, aunts and uncles, cousins and siblings still live. Being intrigued by the culture and living as part of it, though, are two different things. Heather needs her alone time. She’s an American, accustomed to her space, a comfortable bed, a fully equipped kitchen and bathroom. Fred’s family members live in close quarters. They like being together all day long. When they travel, it’s as one big, noisy group.
Heather’s insights into the cultural differences and her own reactions dig deep. After spending two months with Fred’s family, she’s worn out from the effort of trying to fit in. Yet, later she finds herself missing the family closeness she and Fred experienced with his family, and she begins to question the relationship she has with her own parents and siblings. It’s this open, insightful telling of her story that stayed with me.
The story focuses on the author in her mid-forties. Restless and perhaps hoping to reinvent herself, she takes a summer course at the East-West Center in Hawaii. There she meets Fred, an ethnomusicologist from Hong Kong. Their differences are stark. He’s Chinese; she’s a white American of Jewish-Russian heritage; she’s sensitive and hesitant; he’s confident, the life of the party. She returns to Texas, but their Hawaiian affair leads to complications, frequent letter writing, tears, and eventually two divorces.
It's a dramatic story. But the heart of Heather’s memoir is her relationship with Fred and with his large, noisy, old-fashioned Cantonese family. With Heather’s academic training in multiculturalism and folklore, she notices, documents, and questions the details of the culture on Cheung Chau, the small island off the shore of Hong Kong where Fred’s parents, aunts and uncles, cousins and siblings still live. Being intrigued by the culture and living as part of it, though, are two different things. Heather needs her alone time. She’s an American, accustomed to her space, a comfortable bed, a fully equipped kitchen and bathroom. Fred’s family members live in close quarters. They like being together all day long. When they travel, it’s as one big, noisy group.
Heather’s insights into the cultural differences and her own reactions dig deep. After spending two months with Fred’s family, she’s worn out from the effort of trying to fit in. Yet, later she finds herself missing the family closeness she and Fred experienced with his family, and she begins to question the relationship she has with her own parents and siblings. It’s this open, insightful telling of her story that stayed with me.
April 8, 2021
When I started reading Rabbit in the Moon, I wasn’t sure it was for me until I continued on, right to the very end, and feeling quite glad that I did. Several descriptive stories woven into a memoir, Rabbit in the Moon touches on some of the most important elements of life: love, family, identity, customs and tradition, and acceptance. I could not help, but also notice that it had spiritual elements peppered throughout, such as hints and references to spirituality, astrology (e.g., Chinese Astrology), tarot, and not to mention, religion. These references as well as any made regarding Hawai’i are my favorite ones in the book.
Having spent nearly all of my young adult years in Hawai’i, it did not come as a surprise to me that I would enjoy—and revel in—the author’s walks down memory lane as she described her experiences of living in a dorm building, and the surrounding areas of the University of Hawai’i at Mānoa’s (UH-Mānoa) East-West Center. I am no stranger to “the dorm life” at UH-Mānoa so it was intriguing to read about same or similar experiences as viewed through someone else’s eyes.
There was something universal about the author’s stories, especially those of the Lau family outings and their cultural traditions. Through her stories, I felt a sense of familiarity, a sense of home and belonging. However, I also found myself struggling a few times to picture some of the descriptions from the author’s experiences in China. I think that this speaks to one of the book’s underlying themes, the constant push and pull of not belonging or being the in-between, whether it is of families and cultures or places and environments. Not being a traveler myself (yet), I tried my best to capture the author’s meaning, intent, and context behind the descriptions.
In all, Heather A. Diamond’s latest offering was enlightening as it was comforting. Toward the end of her memoir, I sensed a deep sense of longing, a longing to belong, to be a part of something, to connect. It was then I was reminded of a quote by Haruki Marukami. He said that “A person's life may be a lonely thing by nature, but it is not isolated. To that life other lives are linked.” As humans, if we are not here to connect, what other purpose do we have on this earth?
I look forward to more travel and life stories from Heather.
P.S.~ Amah, Abah, and Fred are my favorite characters in the book.
*****I received an advance copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.*****
Having spent nearly all of my young adult years in Hawai’i, it did not come as a surprise to me that I would enjoy—and revel in—the author’s walks down memory lane as she described her experiences of living in a dorm building, and the surrounding areas of the University of Hawai’i at Mānoa’s (UH-Mānoa) East-West Center. I am no stranger to “the dorm life” at UH-Mānoa so it was intriguing to read about same or similar experiences as viewed through someone else’s eyes.
There was something universal about the author’s stories, especially those of the Lau family outings and their cultural traditions. Through her stories, I felt a sense of familiarity, a sense of home and belonging. However, I also found myself struggling a few times to picture some of the descriptions from the author’s experiences in China. I think that this speaks to one of the book’s underlying themes, the constant push and pull of not belonging or being the in-between, whether it is of families and cultures or places and environments. Not being a traveler myself (yet), I tried my best to capture the author’s meaning, intent, and context behind the descriptions.
In all, Heather A. Diamond’s latest offering was enlightening as it was comforting. Toward the end of her memoir, I sensed a deep sense of longing, a longing to belong, to be a part of something, to connect. It was then I was reminded of a quote by Haruki Marukami. He said that “A person's life may be a lonely thing by nature, but it is not isolated. To that life other lives are linked.” As humans, if we are not here to connect, what other purpose do we have on this earth?
I look forward to more travel and life stories from Heather.
P.S.~ Amah, Abah, and Fred are my favorite characters in the book.
*****I received an advance copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.*****
March 13, 2021
Rabbit in the Moon has all the ingredients of the best memoirs: an exotic setting, quirky characters, and cultural discord ultimately redeemed by love and acceptance. Portrayed with humor and candor, it gives readers an intimate experience of a traditional part of Hong Kong rarely seen by foreigners and even Hong Kong natives. The beautiful outcome is that all the time the author has been thinking the others are the flawed ones, in the end it is she who changes and blossoms.
Claire Chao, author, Remembering Shanghai: A Memoir of Socialites, Scholars and Scoundrels
*read an advance copy in exchange for an honest review*
Claire Chao, author, Remembering Shanghai: A Memoir of Socialites, Scholars and Scoundrels
*read an advance copy in exchange for an honest review*
April 10, 2021
Heather Diamond is a mother and grandmother when she finds the courage to leave her middle-class, middle-America life to pursue happiness with a Chinese man she meets and falls in love with at an academic conference. In beautifully evocative prose, Diamond takes us along as she navigates a new culture and is ultimately welcomed into a world where she was at first an outsider.
(I received an advance copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.)
(I received an advance copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.)
April 1, 2021
At times, Heather Diamond’s writing is so delicious, I wanted to put down the book and order dim sum!
She’s a wonderful writer and does a fantastic job of taking the reader with her on her journey. I fell in love with Fred’s family, the festivals, the food, and the life at Number 10, the family home.
There were moments when I wished that Heather had kept us in China, the experiences were so rich and interesting, but I also understood the need to show the differences between her American family and her traditional Chinese family, so that we can see her grow in love and understanding. And the reader can, also.
I was sad to say goodbye to Heather, Fred, and the Cheng’s on the last page. I hope there will be more stories!
I received an advanced review copy for free, and I am writing the review voluntarily.
She’s a wonderful writer and does a fantastic job of taking the reader with her on her journey. I fell in love with Fred’s family, the festivals, the food, and the life at Number 10, the family home.
There were moments when I wished that Heather had kept us in China, the experiences were so rich and interesting, but I also understood the need to show the differences between her American family and her traditional Chinese family, so that we can see her grow in love and understanding. And the reader can, also.
I was sad to say goodbye to Heather, Fred, and the Cheng’s on the last page. I hope there will be more stories!
I received an advanced review copy for free, and I am writing the review voluntarily.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 5, 2021
I enjoyed reading this book. There is a lot to like about the book-- the author’s willingness to look critically at herself and learn from others around her, the eloquent description of her adventures in Hawaii, Hong Kong and China, and even, the occasional folk tales thrown in explaining the legends behind Chinese festivals and traditions (a great boon for an American Born Chinese like myself).
I have to give the author a lot of credit for being willing to write so honestly about her own experiences as a Caucasian person marrying someone from a different culture and living in a country that is very different from her own. It is not easy to talk about race these days, unless one talks about it merely within our own circles. But reading her memoir shows that there are greater lessons to be learned about how much we all have in common -- if one is willing to travel beyond our own comfort zones.
I received an advanced review copy for free and wrote this review on my own.
I have to give the author a lot of credit for being willing to write so honestly about her own experiences as a Caucasian person marrying someone from a different culture and living in a country that is very different from her own. It is not easy to talk about race these days, unless one talks about it merely within our own circles. But reading her memoir shows that there are greater lessons to be learned about how much we all have in common -- if one is willing to travel beyond our own comfort zones.
I received an advanced review copy for free and wrote this review on my own.
March 29, 2021
I absolutely loved this window into the experience of a Jewish-Russian-American woman living in Cheung Chau (an island outside metropolitan Hong Kong) with her husband's family. It is both timeless in its reference to the age-old human condition contending with difference, and contemporary in highlighting some of the specific ways a family from Cheung Chau negotiates norms around their new "Gweilo" (foreign) daughter. It is full of delicious food, relationships, ritual, and festivals, fraught with cross-cultural tension, humor and wisdom. This book contains so many nuggets of truth about interpersonal cross-cultural relationships that often are hidden and overlooked in travel writing. The impression I am left with is a travel book that does not pose itself as a "travel book", but rather, is an honest and touching acknowledgement of what goes on behind-the-scenes during that tumultuous and lengthy rite-of-passage from being a foreigner, to becoming a family member. I highly recommend it!
Note* I received an advance copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Note* I received an advance copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
April 22, 2021
I read Rabbit in The Moon as an ARC and it's a book I might not have picked up on my own, though I’m glad I did. I love memoir and reading about other cultures and tend to gravitate towards more intense, traumatic stories of survival. This is it’s own quiet, graceful story of survival of a different kind. The author, brings us along on her midlife journey, and into what will be her third marriage, to a Chinese born man named Fred, she meets in Hawaii. They are both there from the mainland for an academic institute and both married to other people. There isn’t much dwelling on extricating themselves from their former spouses and soon enough they are husband and wife.
Heather slowly realizes that marrying Fred isn’t just marrying Fred, when he takes a sabbatical and brings her to live in his childhood enclave on Cheung Chau, a small island that is part of Hong Kong. Her introverted, academic life and the intentional distance she has kept from her own family collides with the cacophony that is the Lau family, headed up by Fred’s parents Amah and Abah. Quietude and space are both in short supply. The Lau’s are all about family and all things tradition. A never ending string of festivals, rituals and banquets ensue. And food. Lots of food.
I’m not sure if it’s because of his name, but I picture Fred as a modern day Chinese Fred Flintstone, totally in love with his wife and somewhat oblivious to her delicate (vegetarian)ways. Fred has met very few meals he didn’t like and Heather soon realizes sometimes it’s easier to go with the flow. “Yum,” he says between spoonfuls of jok. “That’s what we’re having tonight!” The pork will be delicious because my taste buds have no conscience.” muses Heather.
Rabbit In The Moon is a soft book. A gracious lesson whispered on the importance of family, tradition, and being open to what we can learn from other cultures. Heather’s words say it better than I can.
“Amah talks to her children on the phone every day, even if just for a few minutes. Sometimes I’ve gone months without calling home, and my daughter has done the same. My grandmother lived her last decade in a nursing home. It’s a lot to mull over, and the mulling makes me feel guilty and sad. I miss my grandmother and my daughter. I think of all the years I’ve devoted to unraveling the threads of family, and now part of me wishes I could knit up the holes and tighten the strands.”
Heather slowly realizes that marrying Fred isn’t just marrying Fred, when he takes a sabbatical and brings her to live in his childhood enclave on Cheung Chau, a small island that is part of Hong Kong. Her introverted, academic life and the intentional distance she has kept from her own family collides with the cacophony that is the Lau family, headed up by Fred’s parents Amah and Abah. Quietude and space are both in short supply. The Lau’s are all about family and all things tradition. A never ending string of festivals, rituals and banquets ensue. And food. Lots of food.
I’m not sure if it’s because of his name, but I picture Fred as a modern day Chinese Fred Flintstone, totally in love with his wife and somewhat oblivious to her delicate (vegetarian)ways. Fred has met very few meals he didn’t like and Heather soon realizes sometimes it’s easier to go with the flow. “Yum,” he says between spoonfuls of jok. “That’s what we’re having tonight!” The pork will be delicious because my taste buds have no conscience.” muses Heather.
Rabbit In The Moon is a soft book. A gracious lesson whispered on the importance of family, tradition, and being open to what we can learn from other cultures. Heather’s words say it better than I can.
“Amah talks to her children on the phone every day, even if just for a few minutes. Sometimes I’ve gone months without calling home, and my daughter has done the same. My grandmother lived her last decade in a nursing home. It’s a lot to mull over, and the mulling makes me feel guilty and sad. I miss my grandmother and my daughter. I think of all the years I’ve devoted to unraveling the threads of family, and now part of me wishes I could knit up the holes and tighten the strands.”
May 16, 2021
(See also post on my blog)
If you asked me to name some of the most transformative experiences in my life, my post-graduation “detour” to China and, later, marriage to my Chinese husband would rank among them. My blog has been largely inspired by the push and pull of my own cross-cultural relationship and adopted home in China, leading to a plethora of posts that stand as a testament to the many moments, from embarrassing to exquisite, worth pondering when you love and live a little differently.
But imagine embarking on this adventure in your mid-40s, as a grandmother.
That’s the unique lens that Heather Diamond brings to her new memoir Rabbit in the Moon, which follows how her cross-cultural marriage to a Hong Kong man and eventual moves (to Hawaii and later Hong Kong) which both challenged and changed her in the middle of life.
Her experiences, detailed in lyrical prose, deeply resonated with me. But even if you’ve never loved someone across cultures or borders, there’s much to cherish in Heather’s tale of starting all over and learning to embrace a whole new way of living in her mid-40s, proving it’s never too late to reinvent yourself. At the same time, the story immerses you in a corner of Hong Kong few people or even locals have visited, making it ideal for armchair travelers.
If you asked me to name some of the most transformative experiences in my life, my post-graduation “detour” to China and, later, marriage to my Chinese husband would rank among them. My blog has been largely inspired by the push and pull of my own cross-cultural relationship and adopted home in China, leading to a plethora of posts that stand as a testament to the many moments, from embarrassing to exquisite, worth pondering when you love and live a little differently.
But imagine embarking on this adventure in your mid-40s, as a grandmother.
That’s the unique lens that Heather Diamond brings to her new memoir Rabbit in the Moon, which follows how her cross-cultural marriage to a Hong Kong man and eventual moves (to Hawaii and later Hong Kong) which both challenged and changed her in the middle of life.
Her experiences, detailed in lyrical prose, deeply resonated with me. But even if you’ve never loved someone across cultures or borders, there’s much to cherish in Heather’s tale of starting all over and learning to embrace a whole new way of living in her mid-40s, proving it’s never too late to reinvent yourself. At the same time, the story immerses you in a corner of Hong Kong few people or even locals have visited, making it ideal for armchair travelers.
May 7, 2021
Rabbit in the Moon by Heather Diamond was an interesting Memoir, sharing themes of love, family, tradition, and a person’s identity. Heather Diamond shares several stories to touch on these subjects, and I found myself interested to read more.
I feel like these stories were relatable for many. The idea of moving between cultures is really interesting to me, as I’ve never done anything like that. This story left me with a happy feeling.
I don’t read Memoirs often, but I’m glad I read thus one. I learned a lot and gained a comforting feeling from it. Check this out.
Thank you to Sage’s Blog Tours for allowing me to participate in this blog tour. I received a free copy of this book to review honestly. All opinions are my own and unbiased.
I feel like these stories were relatable for many. The idea of moving between cultures is really interesting to me, as I’ve never done anything like that. This story left me with a happy feeling.
I don’t read Memoirs often, but I’m glad I read thus one. I learned a lot and gained a comforting feeling from it. Check this out.
Thank you to Sage’s Blog Tours for allowing me to participate in this blog tour. I received a free copy of this book to review honestly. All opinions are my own and unbiased.
April 25, 2021
The author, an intimate stranger in Cheung Chau, an island near Hong Kong, has a lot to learn from Fred Lau’s Family. Thrown into an unfamiliar culture during her middle years, she depicts differing cultural values in colorful episodes as the story pivots between Hawaii, Hong Kong and the nearby island of Cheung Chao. She meets Fred at the East-West Center of the University of Hawaii. She gets to know his family during his 9-month sabbatical when he teaches at the University of Hong Kong. Family expectations of her Chinese husband are quite different from her familiar American customs. Culture shock makes her a keen observer and reporter of the Lau andtDiamond families as she compares and contrasts their habits and cultures. Descriptions of the close-together, communal lifestyle of the Lau family is depicted in many events: parades, festivities, weddings, funerals, holidays, meals, travels, and other occasions. The author takes us along into the folds of each family and narrates her reactions to them. Some of the older Chinese traditions she records may not survive for the next generation to enjoy, her gift of documenting them for the family. Her appreciation of the Lau family grows with time, although ultimately, she knows, straddles but does not belong to either world.
As an expat myself (from Europe to America), I found the author’s observations and interior reactions authentic and engaging. She becomes a bridge and an interpreter of each culture to visitors from the other continent. “I didn’t yet understand the presence of absence, the way we carry our families within us and shape our relationships according to the relationships that shaped us.” Her American family is closer to her in ways she learned from the Lau family. For me, Heather Diamond’s Rabbit in the Moon is an engaging, and instructive memoir; she gives the reader a window into Chinese family values and ties and the adjustments one undergoes in bicultural living.
An honest review based on an ARC
As an expat myself (from Europe to America), I found the author’s observations and interior reactions authentic and engaging. She becomes a bridge and an interpreter of each culture to visitors from the other continent. “I didn’t yet understand the presence of absence, the way we carry our families within us and shape our relationships according to the relationships that shaped us.” Her American family is closer to her in ways she learned from the Lau family. For me, Heather Diamond’s Rabbit in the Moon is an engaging, and instructive memoir; she gives the reader a window into Chinese family values and ties and the adjustments one undergoes in bicultural living.
An honest review based on an ARC
June 13, 2021
I usually don’t enjoy memoirs, I sometimes find them tacky, inauthentic. However at no point did Rabbit in the Moon feel like either: the whole time I felt Diamond’s voice was fresh, humorous and most importantly honest! By premise itself it’s a fascinating story, it details the authors move from the continental United States to Hong Kong by way of Hawaii, and takes the reader along with her through an interracial marriage and assimilating to a new family and culture. The breathtaking and incredibly interesting descriptions of all localities mentioned are an incredible plus!!
Another great point of this book is the observational truths of assimilation and how to respectfully honor and adopt other cultures.
Beautiful book!
Another great point of this book is the observational truths of assimilation and how to respectfully honor and adopt other cultures.
Beautiful book!
April 14, 2021
A memoir interwoven with a travelogue and culinary recollections, there's something for any reader in Rabbit in the Moon. I thoroughly enjoyed this book, getting to travel vicariously and explore themes of identity, change, and culture while watching the author manage familial ties and relationships. The author writes nuanced portraits of her family and in-laws, probing to understand who they are through their words and actions but never resorting to caricatures. The cultural mash-ups are funny in that she's often in uncomfortable social situations outside of her knowledge and comfort zone but gamely relies on her husband's explanations and guidance. This is a memoir that does justice to the genre: raw and real, the author not painting herself in a better light just because she wields the pen. I sympathized and often empathized with her. The best part was learning about Hong Kong as a silent guest, listening in and watching through the author. Her curiosity is contagious!
March 25, 2021
Heather Diamond has written a beautiful book on the cultural insight and the description of Hong Kong. With Heather and Fred’s life there and how two people from different cultures can blend their family’s and heritage together. Heather is forty-five years old, married, a mother and grandmother when Fred and Heather meet.
Rabbit in the Moon follows Heather and Fred’s relationship and Portrays her story of Hong Kong, with how Heather met Fred and then the book takes us from Hawaii to Hong Kong as readers are taken on the beautiful experience of a traditional part of Hong Kong rarely seen by foreigners with humour, family dinners, life and the blending of both family’s one from America and the other from China.
Heather talks about both family’s and the complete different upbrings and family values. Heather finds herself both repelled and drawn into a world so different from her own. This eventually brings Heather to examine the emotional and physical distance between Heather and her own family. Heather eventually brings changes as she realises family values are so important in Hong Kong with Fred’s family and sees her own family through different eyes which brings understanding and happiness with her whole family after years of distance and not much contact .A truly memorable story that kept me wanting to turn the pages of this book and heading for my passport.
I received an advance review copy for free from BookSirens, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
Rabbit in the Moon follows Heather and Fred’s relationship and Portrays her story of Hong Kong, with how Heather met Fred and then the book takes us from Hawaii to Hong Kong as readers are taken on the beautiful experience of a traditional part of Hong Kong rarely seen by foreigners with humour, family dinners, life and the blending of both family’s one from America and the other from China.
Heather talks about both family’s and the complete different upbrings and family values. Heather finds herself both repelled and drawn into a world so different from her own. This eventually brings Heather to examine the emotional and physical distance between Heather and her own family. Heather eventually brings changes as she realises family values are so important in Hong Kong with Fred’s family and sees her own family through different eyes which brings understanding and happiness with her whole family after years of distance and not much contact .A truly memorable story that kept me wanting to turn the pages of this book and heading for my passport.
I received an advance review copy for free from BookSirens, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
June 2, 2021
“Rabbit in the Moon” is a beautifully-written memoir/love story. Heather writes about her romance and marriage to Fred, and subsequent assimilation into his large, boisterous family while living with them on Cheung Chau island, Hong Kong. Being a Third Culture Kid, I have a deep appreciation for world culture that Heather obviously shares. This memoir is so human. It doesn’t glamorize Heather’s experience or gloss over her challenges and discomfort. She describes her observations and cultural faux pas in a way that is wryly funny while still being endearing of Fred’s family and respectful of his culture. If you find it fascinating that we can have so much in common as humans, and yet be so incredibly culturally diverse, you will love this book too.
May 3, 2021
Set mainly in Honolulu and Hong Kong, Rabbit in the Moon explores the culture shock and hilarity that ensues when you marry someone who comes from a culture that is vastly different from your own. It also examines the complexity of interpersonal relationships between parents and children, siblings, extended family members, and significant others. The author's writing style is lovely and flows effortlessly between descriptions of various Chinese cultural festivals, traditions, and food preparation; midlife romance; international college dorm life; and family dynamics.
I admire Heather for being so honest when sharing so much about her personal life, especially at key transitional points, and her ability for self-reflection -- at times questioning her previously held beliefs and actions, showing her vulnerability, and admitting her faults. (All of us have faults, but most of us are loath to admit them to our loved ones, let alone publicly.)
Being raised Chinese American in Hawaii, I thoroughly enjoyed this book since I am familiar with UH Manoa, the East-West Center, and the places mentioned in Honolulu, as well as the Chinese cultural traditions that Heather experienced with Fred's family in Cheung Chau. As another reviewer pointed out, it is through Heather's experiences abroad with Fred's extended family that she realizes that she needs to repair some of her own familial bonds back in America. Time and space often help people to see things more clearly.
Finally, there are many descriptions of sumptuous Chinese banquets and scenes that include delicious home style cooking, so try not to read this book on an empty stomach! I hope you will join Heather on her adventurous journey of midlife romance and self-discovery in Rabbit in the Moon.
***I received an advance copy of this book for free in exchange for an honest review.***
I admire Heather for being so honest when sharing so much about her personal life, especially at key transitional points, and her ability for self-reflection -- at times questioning her previously held beliefs and actions, showing her vulnerability, and admitting her faults. (All of us have faults, but most of us are loath to admit them to our loved ones, let alone publicly.)
Being raised Chinese American in Hawaii, I thoroughly enjoyed this book since I am familiar with UH Manoa, the East-West Center, and the places mentioned in Honolulu, as well as the Chinese cultural traditions that Heather experienced with Fred's family in Cheung Chau. As another reviewer pointed out, it is through Heather's experiences abroad with Fred's extended family that she realizes that she needs to repair some of her own familial bonds back in America. Time and space often help people to see things more clearly.
Finally, there are many descriptions of sumptuous Chinese banquets and scenes that include delicious home style cooking, so try not to read this book on an empty stomach! I hope you will join Heather on her adventurous journey of midlife romance and self-discovery in Rabbit in the Moon.
***I received an advance copy of this book for free in exchange for an honest review.***
July 20, 2021
Flexibility is the answer to the central question in this memoir, how do you make a home in another world? Heather Diamond reinvents her life, finds her true love and a new family and also learns to appreciate her original family and her own strengths. Fascinating explanation of negotiating cultures and the compromises we make in marriage.
March 23, 2021
This one was hard for me. I enjoyed much about the book, especially the cultural insight and descriptions of Hong Kong, family dinners, and more. What was hard for me to enjoy was this feeling that the author was whining or complaining about so much earlier in the book. It was almost cringeworthy. Then I realized that this visceral reaction was simply a reaction to my own experiences.
I was once married to someone of Chinese-Hawaiian-German ancestry and whose family had kept alive many traditions. Family dinners in this book reminded me of family dinners we’d had. Different celebrations described in the book brought back memories of my own. Being gifted jade and gold jewelry and how I felt about it.
The author does a stellar job describing Hong Kong and Cheong Chau. I enjoyed the parts set in both places. I would have liked more insight into her marriage to Fred.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
I was once married to someone of Chinese-Hawaiian-German ancestry and whose family had kept alive many traditions. Family dinners in this book reminded me of family dinners we’d had. Different celebrations described in the book brought back memories of my own. Being gifted jade and gold jewelry and how I felt about it.
The author does a stellar job describing Hong Kong and Cheong Chau. I enjoyed the parts set in both places. I would have liked more insight into her marriage to Fred.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
Read
April 22, 2021The memoir by Heather Diamond titled The Rabbit in the Moon had me from the front cover (cavorting white rabbits on a Chinese red background) right through the last page. It’s a storybook love story, a cultural impression, a learning experience about family cohesion, respect for elders and the legacies they cherish and pass down, all found in the neat package presented by the author. The scope spans the author’s life, the USA, Asia and the Pacific, and more insights into family and its meaning in China and the U.S. than this reader thought was possible in a relatively short book. It is readable, insightful, and educating, even for us old China hands who have immersed ourselves in Chinese life and culture for decades, but equally accessible for those with no background in China at all.
The author learns her lessons well while filled with doubt and making mistakes along the way—how to fit into her in-laws’ Hong Kong family and their unique rhythm of life, how the same behavior does not transfer well into an American household, all while Dr. Diamond goes from fascinated observer of her inlaws’ family and Chinese customs to preserver and participant in both. One is amazed at her resilience to persevere in her new life, and her commitment to picking up everything she needs to navigate life in Hong Kong as a professor’s “trailing spouse,” all against the background of her determination to make this third marriage not falter. The book hits undeniable Chinese touchstones. The first, jade, which aside from being good for health, in the context of this book is also an indication of acceptance of this white woman by her husband’s parents into their family. That something as treasured as a jade bangle can also evince a physically painful, literally bruising, experience, as we see when the undersized bracelet her mother-in-law buys for her is forced over the author’s hand, is an unexpected peek into old Chinese marital customs. The second touchstone is food, which is referred to copiously throughout the book. Accepting and adopting a second culture’s cuisine is always an important step to engaging fully in a new culture; and in China, a country that once knew famine but can now revel in abundant and exotic foods of all sorts and special ways to prepare them, Chinese food takes on at least the importance that French cuisine does in France. The author does not underplay culinary significance and fully grasps what a central role it plays in Chinese family life, where Sunday extended family dinners can take on the feel of a weekly lively Thanksgiving feast for an American.
The author picks up cultural lore at a clip influenced by her Ph.D. in American (read Ethnic) studies and enhanced by her desire to please her husband, herself, and his family.
There is plenty of wit and acumen behind the keen cultural observations of the author. You’ll laugh, you may cry, you’ll sympathize and wonder. And you’ll probably share the agony I did when Dr. Diamond tries to introduce the care and solicitude shown by the younger Hong Kong generations for the elders to her own mother, only to be rebuffed emphatically. An isolated case in a Western culture of a daughter helping her older mother navigate a curb or intersection just won’t work, even though it seems natural and desirable in China and elsewhere in Asia. So the education goes on, even when the author is back in the States in a totally familiar family environment.
That is the beauty of this memoir, in which the new becomes familiar and the familiar can become strange. It is eminently readable, pulling the reader right into the author’s many roles of culture observer, mother, daughter, spouse, daughter-in-law, writer, and always someone who is growing and trying new things that may clash with each other. Whether the reader absorbs the book as a coherently chronological whole or just dabbles in selected individual chapters, which stand clear and reachable on their own, the rewards from reading this book are many.
The author learns her lessons well while filled with doubt and making mistakes along the way—how to fit into her in-laws’ Hong Kong family and their unique rhythm of life, how the same behavior does not transfer well into an American household, all while Dr. Diamond goes from fascinated observer of her inlaws’ family and Chinese customs to preserver and participant in both. One is amazed at her resilience to persevere in her new life, and her commitment to picking up everything she needs to navigate life in Hong Kong as a professor’s “trailing spouse,” all against the background of her determination to make this third marriage not falter. The book hits undeniable Chinese touchstones. The first, jade, which aside from being good for health, in the context of this book is also an indication of acceptance of this white woman by her husband’s parents into their family. That something as treasured as a jade bangle can also evince a physically painful, literally bruising, experience, as we see when the undersized bracelet her mother-in-law buys for her is forced over the author’s hand, is an unexpected peek into old Chinese marital customs. The second touchstone is food, which is referred to copiously throughout the book. Accepting and adopting a second culture’s cuisine is always an important step to engaging fully in a new culture; and in China, a country that once knew famine but can now revel in abundant and exotic foods of all sorts and special ways to prepare them, Chinese food takes on at least the importance that French cuisine does in France. The author does not underplay culinary significance and fully grasps what a central role it plays in Chinese family life, where Sunday extended family dinners can take on the feel of a weekly lively Thanksgiving feast for an American.
The author picks up cultural lore at a clip influenced by her Ph.D. in American (read Ethnic) studies and enhanced by her desire to please her husband, herself, and his family.
There is plenty of wit and acumen behind the keen cultural observations of the author. You’ll laugh, you may cry, you’ll sympathize and wonder. And you’ll probably share the agony I did when Dr. Diamond tries to introduce the care and solicitude shown by the younger Hong Kong generations for the elders to her own mother, only to be rebuffed emphatically. An isolated case in a Western culture of a daughter helping her older mother navigate a curb or intersection just won’t work, even though it seems natural and desirable in China and elsewhere in Asia. So the education goes on, even when the author is back in the States in a totally familiar family environment.
That is the beauty of this memoir, in which the new becomes familiar and the familiar can become strange. It is eminently readable, pulling the reader right into the author’s many roles of culture observer, mother, daughter, spouse, daughter-in-law, writer, and always someone who is growing and trying new things that may clash with each other. Whether the reader absorbs the book as a coherently chronological whole or just dabbles in selected individual chapters, which stand clear and reachable on their own, the rewards from reading this book are many.
June 14, 2021
Sometimes I felt like I was reading a novel with an interesting plot. Heather recalls many interesting details, adds colorful descriptions, and shares many insightful reflections on herself and the American culture. As you can tell from this review I am not a writer. Bottom line, I loved reading this book.
May 30, 2021
If you’re like me and have spent any time in Hong Kong and don’t now, you will feel like you’re back as soon as you start Heather Diamond’s memoir. Her writing is so beautiful and descriptive and she captures all the best parts of Hong Kong. But she’s also so admirably honest about her feelings about losing her personal space and privacy when she first travels to Hong Kong. Heather’s story is so local that Hong Kong people will also appreciate and enjoy it. Even though I was drawn to her book for the Hong Kong stories, I found those set in Hawaii just as engaging. Her story is an inspiration for anyone who has ever thought about choosing happiness at a time when we’re expected to be conventional. Brava!
April 11, 2021
I received an advance review copy for free and I am leaving this review voluntarily. This book was a book about culture, family, and growth. It was a book that made you want to be your best self.
This story was a moderate book to finish. The chapters were short. However, it did take me longer to read this book than usual. Some parts were so interesting to me and other parts were very mundane.
The book talked a lot about food and festivals. I love to eat food. I have discovered, that I have less interest in reading about food. I enjoyed learning about a lot of festivals that I never head of.
The author reinvented herself a few times in tbe book. It is interesting to see the different places see lives and travels too. It is fascinating to see how she integrates herself into various places.
The parts about family make you think. We all have different roles in our families. Yet, a lot of times we don't think a lot about it. She examines her role with her birth family and her husband's family.
I want to thank the author for the opportunity to read this book. Since, I haven't been traveling lately, it is nice to see new places through a book.
This story was a moderate book to finish. The chapters were short. However, it did take me longer to read this book than usual. Some parts were so interesting to me and other parts were very mundane.
The book talked a lot about food and festivals. I love to eat food. I have discovered, that I have less interest in reading about food. I enjoyed learning about a lot of festivals that I never head of.
The author reinvented herself a few times in tbe book. It is interesting to see the different places see lives and travels too. It is fascinating to see how she integrates herself into various places.
The parts about family make you think. We all have different roles in our families. Yet, a lot of times we don't think a lot about it. She examines her role with her birth family and her husband's family.
I want to thank the author for the opportunity to read this book. Since, I haven't been traveling lately, it is nice to see new places through a book.
April 11, 2021
Rabbit in the Moon is a memoir of Heather Diamond’s experiences of moving from Texas to Hawaii, and then, Hong Kong. It is also the story of her meeting someone from a different culture and falling in love. Many of the adjustments and discoveries she made as a result of all these changes are considered in this book. I found it to be informative in a number of ways. Some of the discussions of Chinese holidays were intriguing. Some of her observations about the differences between cultures are enlightening. The way the old ways in another culture are eroding was oddly comforting to me, reminding me that it is not just countries of Eurocentric origin that are experiencing change. Change is with us always, even though many of us recall fondly “the good old days.” As the book progressed, I felt myself becoming more at peace. I am not sure why that was. Perhaps it was because, Diamond was becoming increasingly comfortable with becoming a member of an extended family from a different culture.
I received this book as a free ARC. This review is completely voluntary.
I received this book as a free ARC. This review is completely voluntary.
July 1, 2021
Cultural Anthropology meets Culture Shock -
The author, Heather Diamond, combines her skills as a cultural anthropologist with her growing admiration for her Chinese in-laws to create a loving portrait of a multigenerational Hong Kong family still strongly rooted in tradition.
As readers, we get to see inside a Chinese family from the perspective of an American woman newly married to a Hong Kong man. Culture shock sets in as they move to a tiny flat a few doors away from his parents on Cheung Chau Island, a fishing village that has clung to the old ways. In this modern era, when individuals are breaking away from family ties in China as in the United States, Diamond’s lively descriptions of her boisterous in-laws show both fading traditions and ongoing cultural gaps between Chinese and Westerners.
Her keen eye and vulnerable heart guide us through a celebration of the Festival of the Hungry Ghosts, a cemetery visit to honor the ancestors, a glitzy Chinese wedding, and a crowded family bus ride to the walled courtyard where her husband’s ancestors originated. As an American reader with my own cross-cultural marriage, I was plugging my ears during the noisiest parts, eagerly tasting novel dishes, and growing my own appreciation of the matriarchs who insist on family togetherness and the patriarchs who gently ensure that the younger ones know where they came from.
From the author’s private pangs of judgment to the raucous family festivals, this memoir tugs you across thresholds for a unique view of Chinese family life.
The author, Heather Diamond, combines her skills as a cultural anthropologist with her growing admiration for her Chinese in-laws to create a loving portrait of a multigenerational Hong Kong family still strongly rooted in tradition.
As readers, we get to see inside a Chinese family from the perspective of an American woman newly married to a Hong Kong man. Culture shock sets in as they move to a tiny flat a few doors away from his parents on Cheung Chau Island, a fishing village that has clung to the old ways. In this modern era, when individuals are breaking away from family ties in China as in the United States, Diamond’s lively descriptions of her boisterous in-laws show both fading traditions and ongoing cultural gaps between Chinese and Westerners.
Her keen eye and vulnerable heart guide us through a celebration of the Festival of the Hungry Ghosts, a cemetery visit to honor the ancestors, a glitzy Chinese wedding, and a crowded family bus ride to the walled courtyard where her husband’s ancestors originated. As an American reader with my own cross-cultural marriage, I was plugging my ears during the noisiest parts, eagerly tasting novel dishes, and growing my own appreciation of the matriarchs who insist on family togetherness and the patriarchs who gently ensure that the younger ones know where they came from.
From the author’s private pangs of judgment to the raucous family festivals, this memoir tugs you across thresholds for a unique view of Chinese family life.
August 8, 2022
I’ve now read Heather Diamond’s Rabbit in the Moon four times. I find it extremely difficult to let go of Rabbit. As a reviewer of academic books, I was merciless; with this book, I’m hard-pressed to look for missteps.
From the title of the book, the curious cover, and the surprising metaphors, I found Rabbit in The Moon a delight. I love the animal references, the shifting cultures, and Heather herself. The ethnographic detail is perfect, whether describing food, cities, or village life. Her ability to thrive in Eastern cultures, whether Vietnam, China, Singapore or Hawaii, as well as in the American Midwest, stuns me.
Diamond takes on change in all its forms, with incredible tolerance for frustration, ambiguity, and liminal space. Within this space, she recognizes and describes her multiple selves; I’m not sure how many different selves she has, but she certainly knows how to depict more than one. I marvel at her ability to accept the complexity of her life and to move, constantly, to ever more complexity. She never gets enough.
Rabbit demonstrates how humans can value, and survive, radically different cultures. As an ethnographer, Diamond is fascinated by her husband’s very interconnected Chinese family. They are a challenge for her reserve, her academic background, but she accepts them and tries to get comfortable with them. With great effort, she learns to belong to this uncomfortable Chinese family, without losing her American heritage to culture shock.
Rabbit in The Moon is about life and about the various choices, and subsequent losses, that we make. Diamond always makes interesting choices, challenging, but interesting, and always, open-ended.
May 11, 2021
This novel centers around a marriage between two cultures. Heather Diamond writes of her experiences as a caucasian American married to a Chinese man. Her experiences navigating the cultural differences, described in detail with humor, made the book interesting and enjoyable. Her vivid descriptions of the places she visited, as well as the various Chinese celebrations held my attention the entire time. I received an advance copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
January 31, 2025
Better read as connected short essays, mostly about life in another culture. Not much really memoir, for example very little about how her family shaped her, or why she left her first two husbands, or even why she & Fred love each other. But lots of intriguing bits about the particular sort of Chinese culture Fred shares with her.
"Serious people like me are pressure cookers with stuck safety valves. Left to ourselves, we can ferment or implode. Levity lifts the lid, lets out the steam, and connects us to the world."
"Happy New Year! May you accomplish all that is in your heart! Great luck and fortune!"
"...the 5 major ethnic groups of China: Hui, Manchu, Mongols, Tibetans, and Han."
" I remember explaining to Fred that what he hears as my complaints are just observations. [Maybe it's actually an] annoying habit of being critical and thinking out loud."
"Serious people like me are pressure cookers with stuck safety valves. Left to ourselves, we can ferment or implode. Levity lifts the lid, lets out the steam, and connects us to the world."
"Happy New Year! May you accomplish all that is in your heart! Great luck and fortune!"
"...the 5 major ethnic groups of China: Hui, Manchu, Mongols, Tibetans, and Han."
" I remember explaining to Fred that what he hears as my complaints are just observations. [Maybe it's actually an] annoying habit of being critical and thinking out loud."
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