Robert Nye's Faust, the 1982 Penguin Books paperback edition from 1982, was the first book I read in English, 40+ years ago. I remember having enjoyed it very much (and then tackling Anthony Burgess' Earthly Powers). I revisited my decently preserved copy these past days and, regrettably, this time I found it lacking. There's lots of wit, erudition and religious depth, to be sure, mixed with doses of bawdy humor and ample pornography, but all in all, it was not half as compelling as the reading 4 decades ago, even if pleasurable and interesting enough.
(1/7) The first of the many Luther jokes in the book, some very good (the gist being that Luther wasn't graced by God with the sharpest of intellects of the time, or any time)...
« By the way, I'm not an anti-Lutheran. As long as he doesn't shit in my can, I don't care what he does. After all, I owe the guy my education. Up to a point. Or an enema.
Nice story about Martin Luther.
He was invited once, at Wittenberg, to sit in with one of the few remaining Papists just to refresh his memory on the subject of confession. Luther wanted to know the going rate for sins these days. "Oh, we try to be fair," says the priest. A woman comes in and confesses the usual stuff with her lover. "How many times did you sin, my child?" says the priest. "Three times," says the woman. "That's three Hail Marys and three Our Fathers for penance," says the priest, "and ten pfennigs in the bag." A man comes in to the confessional. Sex with his mistress. "How many times ?" says the priest. "Three times," says the man. "Three Hail Marys, three Our Fathers," says the priest, "and ten pfennigs in the bag." Just then the priest is called away to give the last rites to a dying banker. "You pop in the box," he says to Luther. "After all, you used to be an Augustinian, and I'm broad-minded. No one never needs to know. Business is brisk tonight. Just be sure to get the ten pfennigs in the bag, right?" Luther sits in the box. A girl comes in. "Sex with my lover, father," she confesses. "Three times?" says Luther. "Just the one, actually," says the girl. "Sure it wasn't three?" says Luther. "No father, it was one time only." Luther thinks hard. Then he says: "Well, I'l tell you what, my child. You just say three Hail Marys and three Our Fathers and put ten pfennigs in the bag -- and the Church will owe you two fucks." »
(2.4) This is the best phrase of the book: « Nadja likes nothing better in this god-forsaken abortion of a world than to sit on a man and to wank him. » It is preceded by:
« Tonight Nadja came to me in my bed at this inn.
Nadja's thing is wanking.
She won't let me touch her. She's as cold as an icicle. She detests if I lay a hand on her. She likes to lay her hands on me.
Nadja loves to sit astride me, stark naked, her hair round her shoulders like a harvest, and to play with my cock till I come.
Nadja's got these strong hands, long fingers.
The hands of a Russian princess. »
(2.6) An example of the book's ample affirmations of religious erudition (in the case, an excerpt of a Calvin sermon):
« "What does Scripture teach?" Calvin demanded. "Brothers and sisters, I'll tell you. Scripture call Satan the god (II Corinthians 4, 4) and prince (John 12, 31) of this world. Scripture speaks of Satan as a mighty armed man (Luke 11, 21), the spirit who holds power over the air (Ephesians 2, 2), a roaring lion (I Peter 5, 8). And what does this means, my friends? Watch it! That's what Scripture tells us. To watch it! Watch out for the Devil. He's after you!" »
(2.7) At the same time, in the same church, during the sermon, this was happening:
« Nadja slipped her left hand out of her muff. Her fingers crept under my cloak. She groped for my prick and she found it. She started to tug it and rub it, slowly and gently at first, through the stuff of my doublet. Then she moved a bit closer. I felt her furs tickle my cheek. Hand still concealed under the cloak, she unpicked my doublet. She fumbled, but not very much. Nadja's expert. She knows what men like, and she loves it.
Well, Nadja slips out my prick and starts stroking it.
Up and above us, Calvin snorting on through his asthma about the Devil and his cohorts being not thoughts but actualities.
Down here, Nadja with a handful.
(...)
What about Salome?
I'll tell you about Salome.
Salome's a Zoroastrian. That makes Salome intuitive, so she says. Well, it doesn't take the intuition of a sybil for a girl on one side of you to realise if the girl on the other side is tossing you off. Salome looked down. She saw the bulge of Nadja's hand going to and from and up and down under my cloak. She knew what was happening. She drew her breath a bit sharpish.
I knew then that I'd made a mistake.
(...)
Salome needed it now.
Salome was determined to get it.
So she wriggles right down in the pew.
(...)
Now you're not supposed to kneel in John Calvin's church. They stand up to say their prayers, facing him. Kneeling is Papist, they reckon.
(...)
Just then Calvin opens his eyes!
He consider us. »
(3.39) « Moral: It's a great life if you don't weaken. It's a great death if you don't waken. »
(3.44) On the Sistine Chapel, reviewing modern art:
« If it was Michelangelo, he should shoot himself.
I don't like modern art.
This was awful. »
( Read and reread on a Penguin paperback)