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Kissed the Girls and Made Them Cry: Why Women Lose When They Give In
Women are admitting promiscuity isn't really getting them what they wanted after all—because as women we always stand to lose so much more than men when we give in.
Men love adventure and intrigue while women crave intimacy, romance, and passion. we were created for so much more than a sexual outlet for men, and as women, we want and deserve more than just sexual release for ourselves.
It's time to restore dignity, honor, strength—and yes, even power—to generations of women, young and old, who are no longer willing to lose.
Men love adventure and intrigue while women crave intimacy, romance, and passion. we were created for so much more than a sexual outlet for men, and as women, we want and deserve more than just sexual release for ourselves.
It's time to restore dignity, honor, strength—and yes, even power—to generations of women, young and old, who are no longer willing to lose.
197 pages, Paperback
First published April 16, 2002
64 people are currently reading
714 people want to read
About the author
Lisa Bevere
102 books730 followersLisa Bevere is a Christian author of the books Lioness Arising, Nurture, Fight Like a Girl, Kissed the Girls and Made Them Cry, Out of Control and Loving It! Be Angry but Don't Blow It! The True Measure of a Woman, and You Are Not What You Weigh.
In addition to speaking at national and international conferences, she is a frequent guest on Christian television and radio shows. Lisa is also the cohost of the weekly television program The Messenger, which broadcasts to 214 nations. She and her husband, John Bevere, also a best-selling author, make their home in Colorado with their four sons Addison, Austin, Alec, and Arden.
In addition to speaking at national and international conferences, she is a frequent guest on Christian television and radio shows. Lisa is also the cohost of the weekly television program The Messenger, which broadcasts to 214 nations. She and her husband, John Bevere, also a best-selling author, make their home in Colorado with their four sons Addison, Austin, Alec, and Arden.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 51 reviews
May 25, 2010
I just discovered this in the box of books I brought to my hall of residence with me when I moved in last semester. I decided to skim through it and ended up skim reading the whole book this afternoon.
I was kind of disappointed in this book. From the back cover, I assumed it would be a straight-forward book with relationship and sex advice for young women, with emphasis on purity. Instead, the book went all over the place - at some points, the message went where I thought it was going but other times the author went off on five page long tangents with stories that were either irrelevant or succeeded in giving evidence of the stereotype that all women are vulnerable and easily pressured and are bad at judging what men want. The overall message of this book seemed to be that all young women just want a man to love them and will throw themselves at the first bozo who looks at them. And because we're so desperate, as soon as they mention sex we're going to go weak at the knees and give in to them purely because they want it. Interestingly, the author didn't seem to address the issue that maybe women are interested in sex too? She seemed to focus far too much on "Don't give in to what men want" and ignored "Don't give in to what YOU want." Also, her comments about men were rather depressing; the stories she recounted could really convince some innocent teenage girl that all men are going to use you for sex and then leave once they've got what they wanted. Shockingly, I'm eighteen and have a boyfriend and my boyfriend actually likes buying me presents, cooking me food when I'm ill, meeting my parents and so on. The authors talks about how women crave intimacy and romance - I just want to confirm that, yes, men do too. Sure, there are some men out there who do just use women for sex. But trust me, I've witnessed plenty of girls in my first year of university who do just the same.
All in all, some of this book was useful. Her stories were sometimes entertaining and enlightening, and there were a lot of scriptures in here. But I really felt that she just cemented the stereotype that women = innocent creatures that know nothing about the world and are vulnerable to men and just going to give in to them, and men = heartless jerks who will have sex with you and leave. I really wish that she's focused more on the ideas of building healthy relationships, being confident and mature before giving your heart away to someone, etc. Because honestly, the message I got from this book was "Be pure because he'll just run away after you give it up." I'm quite glad I didn't read this when I was younger because it probably would have made me scared of men. This book had potential but unfortunately took the wrong approach. 4/10
Oooh, just remembered - there was also a lot of emphasis on people having sex when they were drunk. I know the drinking culture amongst young people is pretty awful right now, but I did get the impression that the author assumed that young women wouldn't have sex unless a) they were drunk or b) they were pressured into it. I would have found it interesting to read stories about people who had been in loving relationships and had sex before they were married and then later regretted it - rather than being coerced into it through alcohol or a pressuring boyfriend. These people are going to struggle with the issue of staying pure and be more likely to go and read a book on it than those who spontaneously lose their virginity while drunk.
I was kind of disappointed in this book. From the back cover, I assumed it would be a straight-forward book with relationship and sex advice for young women, with emphasis on purity. Instead, the book went all over the place - at some points, the message went where I thought it was going but other times the author went off on five page long tangents with stories that were either irrelevant or succeeded in giving evidence of the stereotype that all women are vulnerable and easily pressured and are bad at judging what men want. The overall message of this book seemed to be that all young women just want a man to love them and will throw themselves at the first bozo who looks at them. And because we're so desperate, as soon as they mention sex we're going to go weak at the knees and give in to them purely because they want it. Interestingly, the author didn't seem to address the issue that maybe women are interested in sex too? She seemed to focus far too much on "Don't give in to what men want" and ignored "Don't give in to what YOU want." Also, her comments about men were rather depressing; the stories she recounted could really convince some innocent teenage girl that all men are going to use you for sex and then leave once they've got what they wanted. Shockingly, I'm eighteen and have a boyfriend and my boyfriend actually likes buying me presents, cooking me food when I'm ill, meeting my parents and so on. The authors talks about how women crave intimacy and romance - I just want to confirm that, yes, men do too. Sure, there are some men out there who do just use women for sex. But trust me, I've witnessed plenty of girls in my first year of university who do just the same.
All in all, some of this book was useful. Her stories were sometimes entertaining and enlightening, and there were a lot of scriptures in here. But I really felt that she just cemented the stereotype that women = innocent creatures that know nothing about the world and are vulnerable to men and just going to give in to them, and men = heartless jerks who will have sex with you and leave. I really wish that she's focused more on the ideas of building healthy relationships, being confident and mature before giving your heart away to someone, etc. Because honestly, the message I got from this book was "Be pure because he'll just run away after you give it up." I'm quite glad I didn't read this when I was younger because it probably would have made me scared of men. This book had potential but unfortunately took the wrong approach. 4/10
Oooh, just remembered - there was also a lot of emphasis on people having sex when they were drunk. I know the drinking culture amongst young people is pretty awful right now, but I did get the impression that the author assumed that young women wouldn't have sex unless a) they were drunk or b) they were pressured into it. I would have found it interesting to read stories about people who had been in loving relationships and had sex before they were married and then later regretted it - rather than being coerced into it through alcohol or a pressuring boyfriend. These people are going to struggle with the issue of staying pure and be more likely to go and read a book on it than those who spontaneously lose their virginity while drunk.
May 12, 2015
I could write a really long philosophical review of all the things that were wrong with this book, but I will keep it short and simple. It was a terrible book-- full of gross generalizations, oversimplifications, platitudes, and stereotypes. I can't even get started on all of the Disney Princess references and how women are in need of being rescued. I feel badly even donating it to my local library.
February 19, 2014
I don't know what to say about this book besides the fact that I found it to be unfairly sexist. It implies that all men are sex-hungry, heartless creatures who will take what they want (as if women don't want sex too?) and leave. Women are also portrayed as vulnerable, gullible, and apparently possessing no ability to judge a potential romantic partner properly. This book grossly oversimplifies relationships, acting as if men are the only ones who crave excitement, and women are the only ones who want love and romance. I'm sure the author would be shocked to find out that men exist who want a loving relationship and perhaps also consider sex to be special. I think an author who has no real understanding of people should not be considered any sort of authority on love or relationships.
August 9, 2015
Well, THAT was a trip.
Purity culture makes me stabby and this book covered nearly every element of why that is. Detail is unnecessary here, but it went ABOVE AND BEYOND.
Soul ties. I tune out the moment those get mentioned, and that line got crossed about halfway through the book.
I am usually pretty chill about Traditional Gender Roles but this lady couldn't have been less subtle about that if she'd tried. (Also helloooo unnecessary absolutism.)
Oh, and some INTERESTING thoughts about sex. And by interesting, I mean kinda scary.
Definitely an adventure, but in the same way that blatantly terrible 80s movies are an adventure and without the redeeming quality of really bad special effects.
Purity culture makes me stabby and this book covered nearly every element of why that is. Detail is unnecessary here, but it went ABOVE AND BEYOND.
Soul ties. I tune out the moment those get mentioned, and that line got crossed about halfway through the book.
I am usually pretty chill about Traditional Gender Roles but this lady couldn't have been less subtle about that if she'd tried. (Also helloooo unnecessary absolutism.)
Oh, and some INTERESTING thoughts about sex. And by interesting, I mean kinda scary.
Definitely an adventure, but in the same way that blatantly terrible 80s movies are an adventure and without the redeeming quality of really bad special effects.
February 20, 2024
Very important topic, very relevant, I agree with and appreciate the authors opinions... it was just a little too "girly" for me at times XD not a criticism though, I believe it will speak to many women´s hearts.
February 1, 2014
“How far can I go? It's the question of a generation wanting straight answers. Often the very questions we ask reveal our hearts better than anything else.” In Kissed the Girls and Made Them Cry, Lisa Bevere touches on the issues we are faced with whiling being in relationships and all the rules we should take in to consideration. She explains that we need to renew or purity, but in a way that makes us less of a sinner. Throughout the book Lisa talks a lot about her testimony and how being a Christian is what has got her through the hard times that she has been faced with. This was an amazing book, as a young Christian I know I have sinned and been faced with hard times. She also delivers a message that will be able to heal anyone’s mistakes. I love that this book focuses on how we have treated sex and relationships in our past and how to get reconnected with ourselves and God. I strongly encourage mothers and daughters to read this book; it is defiantly a great way to bring families together. If you have ever struggled from relationship problems or struggling now, then this is the book for you. I hope you enjoy this book as much as I did.:)
June 19, 2014
Was re-reading as part of a library clean out and I couldn't even get past the first chapter. This is rife with shaming women for questioning things about their sexuality, mentions sexual abuse as an afterthought after said blunt and downright abusive shaming, and placing the focus of a developing woman's sexuality exclusively on male figures (God the Father, earthly fathers, eventual husbands) rather than on productive female figures (Mother Mary, Sophia (the spirit of Wisdom), the Holy Spirit, the Mother Church, their own earthly mothers, their own bodies). Something that explains how much I hated myself growing up (as an asexual woman who was sexually abused multiple times in multiple ways). This is not the way God asks the women He created to love themselves, and to love the bodies He gave them.
I am in no way part of the 'sex-positive' movement, as I too believe that the oversexualization of our culture has led to horrid abuses of some of our society's most vulnerable, but this is not the way to address it- with fear-mongering, threats, and shame.
I am in no way part of the 'sex-positive' movement, as I too believe that the oversexualization of our culture has led to horrid abuses of some of our society's most vulnerable, but this is not the way to address it- with fear-mongering, threats, and shame.
June 19, 2014
This was the perfect thing to read since I've been struggling in the area of purity lately. Yet, because of this book, I realized a bragging tale full of empty details of all that was given in that heated moment of passion are in fact the same emptiness that remains in result and won't bring back what was lost. I found there is a Prince that passionately pursues me in my purity every day and his everlasting love for me both broke my heart and healed it. Thank you Jesus and thank you Lisa for reminding girls of today's world realize how much they are valued.
March 29, 2014
Love love LOVE Lisa Bevere! She tells it like it is, with just a little sugar coating! A lovely and compassionate lady. I would recommend any of her books / dvds to anyone.
August 8, 2025
I recommend this book to every girl, no matter if you're single, married, or dating. This book changed my life. I feel set free and empowered with the Holy Spirit. I bought multiple copies to share with friends and family. This book is devotional style, with a prayer at the end of each chapter. I cried so much, and have had so many chains broken from reading this book. Absolutely amazing writing by Lisa Bevere!
November 17, 2025
This book is about sexual promiscuity and purity from a CHRISTIAN female perspective; however, this book is raw and honest, for the author of the book tells about her promiscuous past (before knowing Christ) and regrets and exposes the lies culture feeds vulnerable women. Lisa does not hide topics but exposes them in the light of God's Word with gentleness and salt. Highly recommend reading this book.
April 11, 2021
Tenho alguns problemas com esse livro, principalmente quando falag garotas se guardem e meninos são assim mesmo!
Isso é a ultima parte, a primeira é incrível, dou cinco esteelinhas por causa dela:
O que você pensa em fazer pode ser feito em frente aos seus pais? Se sim, tranquilo, se não, luta contra o pecado!
Isso é a ultima parte, a primeira é incrível, dou cinco esteelinhas por causa dela:
O que você pensa em fazer pode ser feito em frente aos seus pais? Se sim, tranquilo, se não, luta contra o pecado!
February 15, 2022
I liked the advice about going too far, do whatever you’re comfortable with doing in front of your fathers. Chapter 6 was my favorite I could feel God’s love through it. Her view on oral sex is the same as mine and I appreciate her courage to address that topic. Offered good advice on how to overcome shame and regret associated with premarital sex
August 31, 2017
A must read !
I wish I would have had this book to read when I was a teenage girl, trying to fit in at school. Even now as a mother of five children this book has helped me heal from past mistakes.
I wish I would have had this book to read when I was a teenage girl, trying to fit in at school. Even now as a mother of five children this book has helped me heal from past mistakes.
April 9, 2018
Helpful to point girls' hearts to Jesus in the midst of romantic heartache
November 26, 2018
I got a few things out of it personally but I don’t like the style of writing, and undertones of self help and word of faith movement
August 21, 2020
Quite the find.
May 7, 2022
This is a beautiful discussion on sexual purity for Christian women. I highly recommend it for any woman, single or married, who wants to honor God with her body and her sexuality.
March 15, 2023
This book does not age well… love Lisa but there’s some dated mindsets in this book!!
January 30, 2024
I still hold on to some of the points made in this book even four years later.
January 19, 2025
The last couple chapters were hard to get through. Otherwise, it was a great read. I read it in high school.
August 6, 2025
Very very healing and inspiring. Written in such a loving manner, wish I could read it for the first time again. A must read for Christian women and girls.
October 28, 2025
In my opinion a harmful and problematic book. Speaking from experience, this book made me feel awful as a teen and rereading it as an adult made me so angry
June 28, 2012
Lisa Bevere has an amazing testimony of her conversion to Christianity. She has a desire to see women fully healed and delivered from their past mistakes. This book focuses on how we have treated sex and relationships in the past and how to be restored through Jesus for our futures. She does not hold back and takes a firm stance on the purity we must pursue daily in our mind, body, and spirit. If this is a source of devastation for you, read this book!
November 24, 2012
Now what is a Jewish man doing reading a book by a born-again Christian writing to an intended audience of young women? Well, learning about how other people see the world, I guess. I was drawn to the book because I wanted to see her take on relationship purity. While some of the passages in the book are inconsistent with my worldview (like say, condemning homosexuality), overall I think there was a great deal of thought-provoking insight in the book.
January 30, 2016
This book is a necessitous read for every woman, whether you are young or old. Lisa has brought out some deep wisdom in regards to being a woman which ties in so well with her books Fight Like A Girl And Nurture. If you struggle with any sexual temptation, or need answers on how far is too far? How to be a woman of dignity and integrity honouring God and yourself as well as your husband/husband to be.. this is the book to read :)
April 13, 2016
The first time I heard this woman speak, she inspired me greatly. I remember at 17 years old watching an interview with her on LifeToday. I thought to myself, I wish I had the wisdom in this book at a younger age, but that is okay. God's grace is sufficient for us. Must read for every female. She and her husband John Bevere are my favorite authors and two of my favorite teachers in the body of Christ.
November 28, 2016
I read this book years ago as a Christian mentor had given it to me. At that time, I felt like I had to run every single thought, motive, action, and so on, through the Christian lens. It dictated the way I lived and thought. Nothing inherently wrong with that. However, I don't know if I'd enjoy it the same today. Nevertheless, it is a good read for Christian women overall.
August 24, 2008
Lisa Bevere very honestly examines issues of women's purity and helps lead women through healing from the past. I would especially recommend for young (or any age)women who have experienced assaults to their sexual purity in any way.
July 22, 2014
What an amazing book!
What an amazing book!
A great read! Thank you Lisa for sharing your heart so freely and openly!
A great point of view from what the culture s Aust has..
What an amazing book!
A great read! Thank you Lisa for sharing your heart so freely and openly!
A great point of view from what the culture s Aust has..
Displaying 1 - 30 of 51 reviews