I’ve deliberated over how to go about writing my review for this book. Normally, I would just jump right in, all cylinders firing. Whether my thoughts be positive or negative, I would just lay them all on the line. But I hesitate to do that here. Ten years ago, if you criticized a book or a movie or a song or your aunt Linda’s chicken parmigiana, people would agree or disagree and maybe there would be an argument, and then everybody would walk away and get over it. But not today. Now, there’s the chance that other readers will be so personally offended by your opinions that they will treat them like a challenge or an attack, and they will ruthlessly demean you into submission. But I’m just a person on the internet. What I think isn’t really that important. I’m just verbal diarrhea-ing my thoughts online, and that doesn’t have to have some sort of significance.
There’s also the potential for creating a hate brigade directed at an author and/or their work, even if you had no intention of doing so. People take what they see online and run so far down field with it that it’s not even the same words you said anymore. What if my review ends up being used to ruin this author’s career or force her off the internet? I would hate to be a part of that, even unintentionally. Cause again, I’m just a person on the internet. What I think isn’t really that important.
Of course, these concerns don’t stop me from posting straight-forward reviews on other books on this site, so I can’t say that they are my sole reason for being so cautious. The reason I am so concerned about one of the above scenarios happening is that this is an indie author with a small indie publisher with a small indie book that currently only has positive reviews. I would be the first negative review for this book (guess I spoiled the ending there), which doesn’t feel too great. My review would be a lot more front and center as well, so that makes me feel pretty vulnerable. (I mean, if I wrote a review today on Harry Potter, no one would ever see it, lol.)
All of this is over-explanation, I know, but the times we are in make me feel compelled to give it, because I want my intentions to be clear. I don’t wish for either of the above scenarios to happen. I just want to give my honest thoughts. So…let’s get on with it.
I purchased Questionable Bet, because the title and cover are very intriguing. I saw them and immediately thought 'I want to read that.'
And I have to say, this book was a disappointment.
Questionable Bet reads like two drafts at different stages in the writing process. The first half feels like a first draft with grammar issues, little characterization, and limited to non-existent prose. The second half feels like a much later draft that has definitely improved on all of these issues but still needs polishing before being released into the world.
I’ll start with the technical issues.
As I’ve said, the first half of the book and the second half feel like two different drafts, and nowhere do you notice this more than in the first 13 chapters. They are exceedingly short, which is strange in contrast with the rest of the book. They are also almost bereft of any prose to the point that it was often pure dialogue with some ‘He did this…’ ‘She did this…’ style sentences in-between to break things up.
There are some glaring grammatical errors throughout the book (they do improve in the second half). Cluff frequently writes sentences such as ‘I scrambled to my feet and threw my arms around Gramps’ neck, burying my head into his neck…’ and ‘I lost my grip. I flailed my arms, trying to grip…’ and ‘After chucking a box of Lucky Charms into the cart, I placed one foot on the bottom of the cart…’ and ‘my fingers pinching the very edge of a tote to pull open the lid. I peered inside the tote, still barely hanging onto the lid’ and ‘I was standing in the middle of my room, giving me ample room…’ That’s a lot of examples, but the reason I have so many is because it happens so frequently. On top of this, there are clunkily worded sentences such as ‘I hurried to snatch it from the coffee table - knowing it was my best friend Veronica video calling - my hand smacking into the mug in the process’ and ‘that even I hadn’t ever conjured up’ and ‘although, I wouldn’t be as nearly a graceful diver as he was’ and ‘I opened the door and got out, stretching my arms over my head, after I shut the door.’ There are some other admittedly small errors (Mom and me instead of Mom and I, I faked frowned at her, etc.) that normally wouldn’t be annoying since they are infrequent, but they become irritating when coupled with the first two problems. But what really confuses me about these issues is that these are things a competent editor should have caught. Unnecessary repetition of words, clunky writing, blatantly obvious errors, all of these things should stop a book from going to print and put it back in re-writes. But no one caught them, and I struggle to understand why.
The last technical issue would have to be the incorporation of the song titles. Most of them, particularly in the first half of the book, are poorly integrated, often interrupting the flow of the writing. They sort of sit there shouting ‘I’m a reference! Get it?’ For example: ‘“Mama Said Knock You Out” by LL Cool J started up in my head’ and ‘I’m in a Hurry’ by Alabama’ played in my mind.’ Again, this seemed like a good opportunity for the editor to suggest ‘Maybe you should look for some more creative ways of incorporating the song titles,’ and again, I don’t know why they didn’t. This does improve greatly in the second half, but every time one would pop up in the first half of the book, I would cringe.
Moving on to storytelling.
Daphne’s characterization is very shallow. Daphne has a cute friend group that was very fun and engaging to read, but Daphne herself felt like a character with only a surface level personality. Cluff makes a point of telling us that Daphne definitely has hobbies and interests, and she’s a little obsessive about them, but we never see her actually engage in these hobbies and interests. She wears all of the Care Bears and Captain America memorabilia she can get her hands on and carries her little bottle of soda syrup everywhere, but when it comes to a deeper dive into her character, it never happens. These things are just part of a list that convey no deeper meaning about who she is as a person.
I also do not believe in Cluff’s portrayal of anxiety. Daphne is supposed to be extremely anxious and self-conscious to the point of panic attacks. And yet she has this incredibly gregarious personality with most of the people she meets, even with her own enemies. And in situations that you would expect to make her anxiety flare up, they have no effect on her. She drives around town in a full-on Regency outfit, for crying out loud. I would have expected there to be at least some trepidation on Daphne’s part. I do understand that having anxiety/being self-conscious doesn’t mean you’re always anxious or self-conscious, but this behavior was just not congruous with her supposed level of Anxiety and Self-consciousness.
Daphne is not the most frustrating character of this book though. While I find her characterization to be shallow, I think she is still likable and fun. I do have a LOT of problems with Daphne’s mom, however. 1) This is going to an opinion that people might not like, but I was not a fan of pairing her up with a 24-year-old when she has a teenage daughter. There is a dynamic there that is not conducive to being a parent, or to being a teenager. I also found the relationship itself to be infuriating. They go on two (TWO) dates, and mom is already inviting him to Zumba with her and her daughter. And then she’s angry with Daphne when Daphne’s rightly bothered by this. Like, how dare you be uncomfortable with me inviting this complete stranger into our private lives. Of course, this comes back to bite mom in the butt later in the book when 24-year-old shows up at their house unannounced expecting to have a ‘family night’ like he’s the new father in town. This is obviously inappropriate, and both Daphne and her mom are bothered by it. But I have to point out here that when you go on two dates with someone then start inviting them into all of your personal family-time events, you shouldn’t be surprised when this happens. What you should do is rethink some of your choices and reconsider the signals you’re sending.
Mom never recognizes her part in any of this, however, and the whole thing is waved off as 24-year-old being a little too eager.
2) Daphne’s mom actively encourages the bet. It’s obvious from the get-go that Sierra’s mom is very bitter and angry and would really like to get back at Daphne’s mom, and if that means going through Daphne, then so be it. It was mom’s responsibility to protect her daughter from that, and that meant not encouraging these two girls into getting entangled in something that would ultimately leave one or both or all four of them hurt. But there is seemingly no concern on her mom’s part over the potential repercussions, or about the fact that this grown woman is so desperate for revenge she would hurt a teenager. At the end of the day, Daphne’s mom owed Sierra as equal of an apology as Daphne does, and she owed Daphne an apology as well for dragging her into something that was not her responsibility to take on.
But that’s kind of the over-arching theme of Mom’s character. Her choices are waved off as ‘Oh, she’s just a cool mom.’ But there are actually very few moments where mom is actually being a mom. She acts more like another one of Daphne’s best friends, and I found that really frustrating.
I do think there are some really interesting things going on psychologically in all of the participants of the bet, and I would have loved to see that explored. To me, a better story would have been mom getting equally invested in the bet because of her own hang-ups and having a dawning realization towards the end that she’s messed up and dragged her daughter into her mess. It would have made the line ‘You look at those beautiful girls and say that again’ much more impactful.
There are some other things that I wasn’t impressed with in terms of the story, but they are minor compared to the issues above, so I’m not going to talk about them. I also realize I haven’t shared any positives about the story or the writing, so my review probably sounds quite harsh. I do believe that the story improves as you read. The second half has a lot more characterization, some genuinely nice prose, the grammar errors and awkward sentence issues are reduced and less noticeable, there are some really good lines, and I really like Daphne’s friendship with her two besties. Truthfully, if the first half had read like the second half, I wouldn’t have minded the books flaws so much. But the good bits of the book really are overshadowed by its faults, and it was often hard to see the stories good qualities because of this.
In terms of whether I think this is a good book for a teen, if I had some teen girls in my life, I would probably give them this book (as long as they were on the older end of the teen spectrum, because the romance is a little too handsy-feelsy for my tastes). Despite what I consider significant writing flaws, I can definitely see a teen girl loving it. I imagine teen me would have gotten a lot of enjoyment out of it as well.