Black Sheep: A Blue-Eyed Negro Speaks of Abandonment, Belonging, Racism, and Redemption

by Ray "BEN" Studevent, My Haley (Afterword)

The unforgettable memoir opens with a middle-aged Ray Studevent returning to Washington, D.C., to his “momma,” Lemell Studevent. She didn’t give birth to him, but she is the woman who raised him. She is the woman who stood by him through thick and thin. She is the woman who saved his life. But now in her late 80s, Lemell is lost to her Alzheimer’s disease. On most days, she has no idea who she is, no recollection of the remarkable life she has lived. Every once in a while, she remembers small fragments of people, places, and things but she doesn’t know how all of these pieces fit together. At night, she is often haunted by nightmares of growing up in the segregated South, of evil men with blue eyes peering through slits in their hooded robes. Frightened by Ray, this stranger, this white man with his piercing blue eyes, she threatens to shoot him. Trying not to get swept up in his own buried, decades-old feelings of abandonment, Ray knows he must work to regain her trust as he thinks back to how far they both have come.

Ray Studevent grew up between two worlds. Born to a white, heroin-addicted mother and black, violently alcoholic father, the odds were stacked against him from day one. When his parents abandoned him at the age of five, after living in a world no child should experience, he was saved from the foster-care system by his father’s uncle Calvin, who offered him stability and a loving home. When Calvin tragically died two years later, it was up to his widow Lemell to raise Ray. But this was no easy task. Lemell grew up in the brutality of segregated Mississippi, emotionally scarred and justifiably resenting white people. Now, she must confront these demons as she raises a mixed-race child—white on the outside, black on the inside—on the eastern side of the Anacostia River, the blackest part of the blackest city in America. This is a time of heightened racial tension, not long after the assassination of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and the D.C. race riots. There are guidelines if you are black, different  rules if you are white, but only mixed messages for mixed-race children who must fight for acceptance as they struggle to find their identity.

As Dr. My Haley, the widow of author Alex Haley, wrote in the Foreword for , “Ray’s pathway to manhood came not through the people who taught him what to do, but through the woman who taught him how to be, even as she learned for herself how to be.” At a time when we are all reexamining the complex issues of race, identity, disenfranchisement, and belonging, this compelling true story shows us what is possible when we trust our hearts and follow the path of love.

Genres: Memoir, Autobiography

288 pages, Paperback

First published May 4, 2021

Reviews

[Cheryl McGhee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Black Sheep opens with the story of Ray Studevent; a five-year old, mixed-raced child, born to drug and alcohol-addicted parents and Ray has been given a second chance at having a decent life when his father’s uncle Calvin and wife Lemell (a Black couple) decide to raise him. On top of the obvious issues that come with abandonment, Ray is white, with blue eyes. Not only does Ray have to struggle because of what others think about him, but he also has to deal with Lemell and the past demons that makes her who she is, which affects him tremendously.
Although a memoir, Black Sheep drew me in from the beginning like a GOOD novel. The use of humor and wit to tell an otherwise serious story is what I noticed first. The ability to laugh while faced with insurmountable odds is not easy; it’s a gift and one that I’m sure helped Ray survive tragedy after tragedy, the impact of feeling unloved and knowing that he was different. Studevent’s vulnerability showed with every page turned, but he always managed to come on top, mainly because of the love of his momma, Mell.
Mell was faced with a hard choice after the death of her husband and although she had her struggles and ideas about the past, particularly when it came to race, she chose to fight for Ray. I found her wit and no-nonsense way of handling harsh situations VERY refreshing. I loved this most about Black Sheep. “God’s word says that he had skin the color of bronze and hair like wool. Now you know how us Black folks are always running late? Jesus ain’t came back yet, he late, he a Negro!” Even in her latter years while dealing with Alzheimer’s, those traits never diminished, but got stronger. And I can’t help but believe that Ray’s ability to tell his story with humor took the edge off of his painful past (maybe a defense mechanism to deal with the issues HE faced). Laughter, after all, IS good medicine.
I loved Calvin’s relationship with Ray. Even though Ray’s biological father was broken, God did send a positive black male role model in the form of his uncle.
I related to the old school references of the story: 1) the living room being off limits in the house, with the furniture covered in plastic 2) TV references from back in the day: Good Times, The Brady Bunch, music by Grover Washington, Jr. and 3) the infamous “now I lay me down to sleep” prayer.
The saying is true: “hurt people, hurt people.” Mell had her own demons and they often manifested in Ray’s life. He could have stopped visiting his momma when she no longer remembered him as the Alzheimer’s progressed, but he kept coming back. He was there for her and had already heeded the advice given to him by her: “if circumstances arise, asking you to be there for someone in their time of need, and you know you can make a real difference, please, by all means, do it.”
In the end, his momma apologized for her harsh treatment and they were able to reconnect.
Black Sheep is a beautiful tribute to his momma and an unforgettable story of love and resilience. I highly recommend this book.

[TANGA STEPHENSON · Rating 5 out of 5]

Black Sheep is a book that took my breath away. This book had my attention from the first page to the end. Just as the book states: "A Blue Eye Negro" growing up in the blackest part of D.C (Chocolate City as it's known). One can just imaging the life that he had to deal with after being adopted by a strong Mississippi woman who has strong beliefs of been black and proud of it. This woman adopted him and raise him as her own with challenges. The bond and love Raymond (Ben) had with momma was amazing. She helped him find his true identity as she quoted Maya Angelou saying-"If you don't know where you come from, you don't know where you're going" and that is so true with all of us. I take that quote to heart. The book was amazing to read.

[Roxanne · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an excellent book. This is a memoir of a biracial boy growing up in Washington D.C. His mother who was White but addicted to heroin, and his Black father was an alcoholic and abusive. Then when he was five he was adopted by his uncle, but he died and the aunt had to care for him and her two daughters. But the situation was difficult since she grew up in segregated Mississippi and the KU Klux Klan were ever present. But being biracial was hard on him because he learned that certain rules apply if you are black and other rules apply if you are white. It must be hard for any mixed race person to find their identity. He got involved with crime for a time, he moved to Los Angeles and had a child himself. In Los Angeles he did some modeling which paid well and he dabbled in the stock market. His adoptive mother died which was hard on him because she knew him inside and out and he could never fool her. What he said he learned was whenever life presents you the opportunity to show a special level of love, always commit and never walk away. This is a good life lesson. The afterword of this book is written by a by a lady who has a PHD. Every person needs to learn how they fit in the world.

[Mary Monroe · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of the most intriguing books I’ve ever read. Some parts are sad and depressing, but the author also includes some humor. I laughed when I read about the “grease cans” on the stove. I can still see and smell the cans on my grandmother’s stove. And when Easter rolls around this year, I will try not to call it “Greaster.”

Lemell and Calvin were great adoptive parents. It saddened me when Calvin died so young. I didn’t have any sympathy for the author’s biological parents. People who do drugs and abuse alcohol should never have children unless they can get their lives in order.

One of the most tragic aspects of this story is the horror of Alzheimer’s. It was hard to read how this disease ravaged Ray Studevent’s strong outspoken adoptive mother.

The author lost his way more than once, but I never expected him to become a criminal. However, he was so resilient and determined to be a better man and father, I was not surprised when he got back on the straight and narrow. This is an important book, and I will recommend it to a lot of people.

[Star Gater · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a well-written memoir. The life of Ray Studevent is different than mine, and without this writing I may have never had to give thought to how so many live. This also shows parenting that is new to me, however, I understand the need.

I don't rehash the synopsis or give spoilers. I will say I connected to almost every person mentioned in the book. Ray's life is so beautifully told I respectfully read quickly. I'm struck by the number of deaths he had encountered in his youth.

Thank you NetGalley, Ray "Ben" Studevent, and ,HCI Books for accepting my request to review this life-changing book.

#NetGalley
#RayBenStudevent
#HCIBooks
#MyHaleyPHD
#BlackSheep

[Daryia Dinkins · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book brings to life both the feelings, and memories of two people that have been affected by race in their lives. The memories that Ray shares in his book are touching and presented in a way that makes his experiences come to life in the reader's mind. It's truly heartwarming to see the impact that Ray's Momma had on his life in a positive and profound way despite her inner struggles against the white skinned blue-eyed man, influenced from her painful experiences with them from her youth on.

[Shannan Harper · Rating 5 out of 5]

Somewhat triggering and sad at times, Ray "BEN" Studevent, a white passing black man tells his life's story, from being abandoned by his biological parents, and being raised in a predominately black neighborhood by his paternal Uncle and Aunt who raised him, Calvin and Lemell Studevent. Calvin dies a couple of years later, and he is adopted and raised by Lemell. This story was such a great and emotional read and I didn't want to put this book down.

I received a copy of the book via NetGalley and am voluntarily leaving an honest review of my own thoughts.

[Tammy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed this memoir while traveling to visit family. Ray is desperately trying to get his "Momma," who suffers from Alzheimer's disease, to remember him. His family, like so many of ours, is complicated. Childhood trauma has made Ray's life difficult. It harmed his adoptive mother's life just as irrevocably. Race and inequality issues make everything worse. The unconditional love of Ray's uncle, also his new stepfather, is the bond that holds this family together despite tragic circumstances.

[Cassandra · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received a complimentary copy.

A story of many strengths truths and dignity. When you read it with an open heart and mind it can consume you with so many mixed emotions, but the journey is worth it.

[Brenna · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a memoir, but it reads just like a novel. It’s beautiful. I loved his stories of belonging while also trying to convince his mother with dementia who she really is to him. So much heartache, and yet so much hope. ❤️

[Amy K · Rating 5 out of 5]

A well put together biography and tribute to the family that loved Mr. Studevent. A great redemption story.

[Angela · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a very moving story about race and the creation of family. The narrative goes back and forth in time in a seamless and fluid manor.

[Robyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved this biography! First-person account of growing up dealing with racism from a perspective most will never experience.

[Bridgette · Rating 5 out of 5]

Black Sheep by Ray Studevent is an AMAZING novel which will make you laugh, cry, reflect, and inspire to be better! This book is based on a true story (the author's) and he does not sugar coat his experiences. He experienced hate, racism and prejudice being a mixed-race child. Once you start reading, you will not want to put it down. Highly recommend!

[Ray Studevent · Rating 5 out of 5]

The absolute best book I have read about race relations ever!!! A true classic! I see why it was nominated for a Pulitzer, Forewords Book of the Year Finalists and Congregational Black Caucus Award Nominee!

[Juanita Gaines · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am so excited. Looking forward to reading this book when it comes out.