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300 pages, ebook
First published May 6, 2014
Fifty Shades book, and I turned into a wild sex animal. You all should try it. "
" My last sorta-boyfriend said I was always emasculating him. I told him to grow some balls, and then also grow some hair on the balls. He didn't think that was funny. After we broke up, I sent him a box of tampons by mail. He didn't think was funny either. No sense of humor "
"If your sister's half as pretty as you, she must be a knockout."
I choke on his compliment. Literally. The orange juice in my mouth has nowhere to go. I expel the juice from my mouth, spraying it all over Drew's crisp jacket and equally crisp dress shirt.
He doesn't back away or flinch. He nods his head down to one side, sticks out his tongue, and licks a few bead of orange juice from his shoulder.
"A much better choice than the coffee," he says.
"That juice was in my mouth"
"Should I be worried? Where else has your mouth been?"
"If the orange tie isn't ridiculous now, was it ever? Is reality shifting right now? Am I in the Matrix?"
"My body gets hot and weird, letting me know it's now developing a dentist fetish. I have a feeling my next cleaning appointment is going to be weird."
She pushes her glasses up her nose. " I read that